


To Be Forever Faithful

by Ponytail_Goddess



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Action, Angst, Drama, F/M, Helm's Deep, Romance, Wartime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:54:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 60
Words: 280,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28561617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ponytail_Goddess/pseuds/Ponytail_Goddess
Summary: When the only female warden in Lorien becomes Second in Command, Haldir finds himself falling unexpectedly in love with her. War, rules, and fear separate them from acknowledging their true feelings. Can they overcome it all?
Relationships: Haldir of Lothlórien/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 60
Kudos: 57





	1. A Long Night

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with it. I only write these fanfics for fun and I do not intend to make any money off of them._

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 1: A Long Night

Night. The Lothlorien forest was filled with dark shadows. However, there was one elf who did not pay these shadows any heed. There were very few things that scared Haldir and creatures of the night were not included amongst them.

In fact, there were only two things that really scared Haldir. Love and death. And tonight of all nights, he had seen death take the spirit of one of his wardens right off this very earth.

Orcs. They had surrounded Curudae and had ambushed him. Why Curudae had wandered away from Haldir's patrol was still a mystery. They had heard his screams, but come to late. He was slain. The picture was still lurking vividly in Haldir's mind. There had been so much blood; it had seeped out of his head, dark, thick, and unnatural. Haldir could almost still smell the stench of Eldarin blood entwined with the nauseating orc filth.

Despite the horrifying scene laid out before them, his wardens had still found the will to slaughter the remaining orcs. However, now that his time at the fences had ended, Haldir could not get Curudae's slain body out of his mind.

Breathing heavily with despair, Haldir could think of nothing else as he stormed up the black marble stairway to his quarters. At once he pushed his door open, but lingered in the doorway to take in the familiar surroundings. There was a bed made for a single occupant wrapped in soft, cream-colored sheets. To his left was a wooden rack which held a massive amount of armor and several warden uniforms, along with a few pairs of normal clothes that were neatly folded, but seldom worn. Other than a body-length mirror and a few odd souvenirs he had acquired during his travels, there was little else to occupy the space.

He found himself first wandering toward the wooden rack, touching one of the warden uniforms on his shelf with the lightest touch. _"Never again will Curudae don this uniform,"_ Haldir thought forlornly, dropping his hand to his side and bowing his head in anguish. After a few moments, he found himself wandering in front of the mirror to look himself over.

Haldir easily saw the weariness in his face, which matched his inner turmoil. He reached up and wiped some orc blood from his cheek. _"Putrid beasts."_ He thought to himself as he started to strip off his armor. It felt great to get the pieces of fitted metal off his skin and feel the cool night air.

He quickly collected his thoughts when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in," he replied, rather annoyed that one of his wardens was interrupting him at this time of night.

Haldir was surprised to find it was Belegwen who opened the door. He immediately felt uncomfortable that he had invited her in. Thankfully, he had not removed his pants yet; he had not expected the only female warden of Lothlorien to enter while he was half naked. She appeared to be quite astonished for an instant, then snapped back to attention, ignoring his state and becoming the serious warden she was trained to be.

"Marchwarden, I have an urgent message from Lord Celeborn. He wishes to see you immediately, sir," she said, looking fatigued, but devoted to her current job as messenger.

Quickly recovering from his own embarrassment, Haldir replied, "Very well then. Tell him I will be there momentarily."

"Yes, sir," she said, then hurried out of the room to relay the message to Lord Celeborn. He sighed as she exited. Never during all the many years of his life had their been a female warden until her. He was honestly surprised she had made it so far in the ranks and had stayed with the wardens for so long.

When her parents had been mysteriously slain, Belegwen had begged to be trained for the guard. Such a thing had never been heard of at the time and was not a popular idea amongst the wardens or the lord and lady of the wood. It took years of pleading, but finally when Belegwen was of age, Lady Galadriel had decided Belegwen's training was a worth a try. It had turned out that Belegwen was very motivated and successful at her training; she had quickly risen through the ranks during her numerous millennia of service.

Haldir sighed. Though she was very good at her job, the other wardens had not taken to her presence very well. Even after her long years of service, there was still an awkwardness surrounding her feminine presence at the fences. Haldir knew she would never fully be accepted as a warden because of her gender.

Belegwen seemed to be aware of the issue, but had never been one to acknowledge the problem. She wisely kept working to the best of her ability and generally ignored the whispered words and sideways glances of the other wardens. She intended to remain a warden, no matter what others thought of it.

Quickly, Haldir managed to get a clean tunic on and then made his way though the city and up the grand staircase to the lord and lady's dwelling. Lord Celeborn was there awaiting his arrival, facing away from him as he looked over his fair city.

"You wished to see me Lord Celeborn." Haldir said calmly as he bowed down, making the old Eldarin lord aware of his presence. There was a measure of unease lingering around Celeborn's demeanor, which unsettled Haldir as he waited silently for his counsel.

"How did this happen?" Celeborn finally asked, his tone so low it could almost be called a whisper.

Haldir found himself speechless at this point. He should have known that when Celeborn had read his report, he would want to know all of the intricate details surrounding the incident that led to Curudae's passing.

"My lord, let me explain-"

Celeborn turned around, and stared into Haldir's eyes. He could see great pain in the elven leader's face. "A great tragedy has befallen us tonight. Tell me, Haldir, why was this warden not at his post?"

Haldir felt a pang of guilt pass through himself as he stared into the eyes of an elf he respected greatly. "I know not, sir."

Celeborn, looking deeply saddened, closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. The pain in his eyes seemed to dig into Haldir's soul. Wearily, he said, "Haldir, it is your job to look watch over us all; to keep your wardens and your city safe. More care must be taken. This cannot happen again."

"Yes, sir."

"And now we shall need a new second in command since Curudae has..." Lord Celeborn said, his voice drifting away mid-sentence, seemingly too hurt to admit what had happened aloud.

"I shall see to it immediately, sir," Haldir replied, his mind already starting to mull over various wardens who were in the upper ranks.

"You think much too hard, my Marchwarden. Do you not already know the answer to your mental inquiry? She whom you have spoken to on this night would do a fine job," a smooth female voice from behind them said confidently. They both turned to see Lady Galadriel floating down the stairs, the light around her effervescent and awe-striking. The room filled with a quiet glow of calmness and serenity that often accompanied her presence.

"You speak of Belegwen, my lady?"

"She has been part of the guard for many millennia now, much like you, my Marchwarden. While she will not find immediate approval among our ranks, her presence and leadership would greatly benefit many."

Slowly she walked up to Haldir and looked him straight in the eyes. "Do consider her, Haldir. You are now dismissed," she said, a mysterious smile touching the corners of her face.

Clearly, she knew more than she was letting on.

Extending a bow of respect to his leaders, Haldir turned and walked away, feeling very uncertain about the lady's suggestion. While Belegwen had the skills to do the job correctly, Haldir was unconfident as to whether or not he could work harmoniously with her. He was even more uncertain of what the other wardens' reactions would be to such an appointment.

But still, the lady had suggested her. Her suggestion could not be taken lightly, as Galadriel never spoke without reason.

_"Perhaps there is some merit to this idea, though I do not see it."_ He thought as he entered his room and stripped off his attire once more. Putting on a robe, he strolled down the marbled stairs to bathe before he took his rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic is a labor of love that was written during three distinct time periods in my life:
> 
> Chapters 1-23 were written when I was in high school.  
> Chapters 24-35 were written when I was in undergrad.  
> Chapters 36-60 were all written in 2020, 10 years after undergrad. 
> 
> Every time I picked up the story again, the idea grew more and more complex and the writing gets better in each section, or so I've been told by several readers. I did go through and try to polish the story up a bit this last summer, so hopefully I've caught a majority of the mistakes now. Please enjoy my musings.


	2. Second in Command

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you goes out to Heirbritt for leaving such a lovely comment on Chapter 1! Thanks for supporting my writing! I appreciate all of the kudos as well!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything that belongs to Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 2: Second in Command

Haldir walked down the steps leading into the water and was finally greeted with the first inklings of relaxation that he had experienced since he returned from the fences. Something about being in the clear, warm water settled his mind and he audibly breathed a sigh of relief. It was one of his few escapes from the world of the wardens and all of his responsibilities. Yes, the bath was wonderful indeed.

The large bath was situated at the bottom of the mallorn tree which housed several of the warden talans, including his own. It was both enclosed, but not, as a glass skylight allowed the glowing blue light of Lothlorien to shine within the white marble walls of the spacious room.

 _"If only I could stay here longer,"_ he thought to himself. Alas, Haldir had a long list of responsibilities that needed dealt with, so he needed to hurry. On top of that, he knew there was a small line of wardens who had just arrived back from the fences and were waiting for their turn to clean up as well.

As he rolled his cake of soap against his arms quickly to work up a lather, he pondered the possible benefits of having Belegwen as his second in command. What did Lady Galadriel see within her that he did not? Would she react appropriately when situations arose at the fences? Did she have the knowledge and skills to do the job properly? Moreover, was she bold enough to be second in command?

Though a part of him hated to admit it, she probably did have all the skills necessary to be his second. The Lady Galadriel believed in her as well.

 _"But she is not the only one; Heledhril and Erthalion would both be suitable as well,"_ he thought stubbornly, wishing he could pick an ellon for the job instead of an elleth.

However, Belegwen had been recommended by Galadriel, the Lady of Light. Naturally, that was important. Galadriel would not have proposed an idea unless she wished for it to be set into motion. The lady was knowledgeable in all things and had a keen eye for distinguishing the talents of elves. Because of this, Belegwen practically had the position without even knowing about it.

Haldir sighed as he got out of the bath. It had been ruined for him because he had been plagued by thoughts of the fences.

Silently, he dried off in the dim, magical light of Lorien. Again, his thoughts shifted to Curudae and his gruesome fate. It distressed him deeply, knowing that his family would have to deal with his cruel and unnatural passing. No elf ever expected a loss of life because of their immortality, so when it did happen, it was truly devastating to all who knew the victim.

Haldir's eyes scrunched up as he put on a clean robe to prepare for the return to his quarters. He gritted his teeth as the aching pain of loss seared his heart. The agony of Curudae's death had returned and it sickened him to his core.

 _"It was all my fault,"_ he thought, showering himself in the blame he thought he deserved. _"How could I have missed it? Why did I not notice he was gone from his post?"_

These thoughts continued to haunt him as he shoved his dirty clothes down the chute. There, the maids would wash them and transport them back to his room. _"If only I had been faster... Had I only made sure he was at his station..."_

Standing in front of the door, Haldir quickly composed himself, blinking away the tears that had formed in his eyes. He refused to allow his wardens to see him this way. They needed to see his strength, not his weaknesses. Besides, tears could never truly solve a predicament. He had to be strong and see this devastating situation through to the end.

Taking up his solid marchwarden persona again, he swiftly exited the bath and stormed up to his own personal talan. However, he stopped in front of his door as he thought back to the newly open warden position. He looked down the hall to the last door.

That was Belegwen's room. It was exactly six doors down from his own. _"Perhaps I should discuss it with her now."_

Though Haldir was tired, he knew he would not be able to sleep for a while anyway, not with the negative thoughts that were nagging at him at every moment, reminding him of his personal failures. Quickly, he entered his room and put away his belongings before walking up the softly lit, black marble hallway to her door. He quietly knocked on her door.

"Come in," a muffled voice replied. Cautiously, Haldir opened the door, not knowing exactly what to expect in the elleth's room.

Haldir let out the breath that he had not even realized he was holding. The room was exactly like his and all the other wardens' rooms.

The first thing he noticed as he entered her room was that she must have just arrived back from the fences because her armor had been chucked haphazardly onto the floor in various places around the room. Haldir frowned, as he personally disliked things been unorganized. To him, it showed a lack of responsibility and self-respect.

Belegwen herself stood in front of her mirror trying to undo her hair, which appeared to be in a few braids that were poorly woven. She was wearing her robe, but the robe was did not fit her well, as it had been intended for an ellon's use. The two sides of fabric were crossed in the middle, but ended up behind her back. The rope was wrapped around her waist twice so there would not be an excess of slack.

She looked in the mirror to see who had come in behind her. Her eyes enlarged when she saw him and she quickly whipped around to face him. Yanking the leather hair ties out of her mouth and hiding them behind her back, she stood in front of him and met his gaze, waiting for him to say something.

Now that he was here though, no words came out of Haldir's mouth. This elleth was obviously an embarrassment to all of Lothlorien for having chosen to take up the life of an ellon. This was not how Eldarin society was supposed to work.

Eventually, she broke the awkward silence. "Marchwarden, what brings you here?"

"I have an offer for you, warden," he stated, regretting that he had to tell her about the new position.

"Yes?" she replied, a curious look appearing upon her face.

Mentally, Haldir had to keep reminding himself that the Lady of Light wanted her for the position as he continued. "Due to Curudae's passing, we are in need of someone to be second in command. You have been a warden for a few millennia now and have proven yourself to be a great fighter, trustworthy and loyal. I have come here tonight to ask if you would consider taking this post."

She stared at him for a moment, then replied, "I shall consider it with great honor, Marchwarden. Tell me, what responsibilities are involved with this post?" She asked as she turned around so that she was facing the mirror again. Immediately, she attempted to pull out her remaining braids again, using an excessive amount of effort to work around a few snarls in her silvery hair.

Haldir watched as the remainder of her long hair slowly started to fall from its braids back into a limp hanging position. It was rather unusual for a warden to have hair so long. However, Haldir barely spared it a thought. "Meet me at breakfast tomorrow and I will tell you all you need to know about the responsibilities."

"Yes, sir," she replied as she turned around to face him again, her hair flying messily behind her. "I shall meet you in the morning, sir."

The two both exited the room, one after another. Haldir entered his quarters and Belegwen rushed down the stairs towards the bath.

Once in his room, Haldir sighed. Would it even be possible to work with this elleth? Doubt filled his mind. Had the Lady of Light chosen the wrong person for the job? What if it did not work out?

 _"I cannot believe I am doing this,"_ he thought as he slowly got into his bed to rest, dreading the new day that awaited him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giggling right now because when I first posted this chapter in 2003, I asked what a Mary Sue was at the end of this chapter because I didn't know. I've been reading some of the author's notes that I wrote during high school and... well, let's just say I'm amused by me. I hope you enjoyed the second chapter!


	3. A Restless Mind

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 3: A Restless Mind

Belegwen silently descended the smooth, black marble steps into the corridor which contained the bath. She could hear jovial merriment coming from the line of wardens who were waiting for their turns. However, as she entered the room and got into line, all the wardens became eerily quiet and many sets of eyes landed upon her. Not saying a word, she gently sat down on a bench to wait for her turn.

She hated how everything became awkward in her presence. Why could they not continue what they were doing without noticing her arrival? Why could they not ignore her? After all, she had done nothing wrong. Being ignored would be much better than the reaction she got from them now.

Mentally, Belegwen felt frustrated and tired. After working for an entire fortnight on the fences, she was utterly exhausted. The passing of Curudae was weighing down on her heavily and she knew the only cure would be to get some rest. The silence of the room lent itself well to her tiredness and she started to fade into reverie as she waited.

"Pst," she heard a voice say. The voice sounded distant as she slowly came out of her dream, suddenly aware that someone was shaking her shoulder gently. Belegwen's eyes snapped out of reverie and she came face to face with a warden she had not met before.

The ellon smiled at her and said, "It is your turn."

Belegwen's eyes quickly shot around the room. The fifteen elves who had been in it when she entered had all left and now the room was surprisingly empty.

"Oh... Thank you," she told him, feeling a bit self-conscious that she had fallen asleep while waiting for the bath.

Gingerly, she clutched her belongings and entered the door to the bath after the remaining warden left the room. _"Falling asleep while waiting for the bath,"_ she thought to herself as she shut the door behind her, _"How embarrassing."_

Her footsteps were silent as she brought her soap to the edge of the bath. Her robe slid off her body easily and she stepped down the stairs and into the water without making a sound. Slowly, she dunked her head into the water and came back up. She could hear the water droplets making the softest of noises as they rolled off her and back into the pool.

Her mind started to think about the surprising offer Commander Haldir had spoken to her about earlier. _"Second in command,"_ she thought to herself, then sighed and wrinkled her nose slightly. _"It sounds like a wonderful honor, but I do not understand why has he chosen me."_

Belegwen did not feel as though she had done anything above and beyond the call of duty that would result in her deserving such a prestigious title. In fact, the only things she could think of that separated her from many of the other wardens were her gender, her swordsmanship skills, and her knowledge of the common tongue. However, she knew there were others who could surely do the job just as well, if not better than herself. _"So, why me?"_

Not being able to come up with an intelligent answer, she tried to think about other topics. Other than feeling sadness for Curudae and his family though, she found it nearly impossible to think of much else. _"Second in command. I wonder what my parents would have thought of all this."_

A small smile snuck onto her face as she tried to mentally picture her parents again. She knew they would not have approved, the same as every other ellon and elleth in the city. According to them, ellyth were to marry elves, raise elflings, and find their passion within the arts and other noble, non-dangerous flights of fancy within the city. They were most certainly not supposed to put their immortal lives on the line to fight for the protection of their land. That was supposed to be a job for ellyn and ellyn only.

She looked into the mirrors which covered almost all of the bath's white marble walls. Yes, there were times when she occasionally envied ellyth and the very carefree lives they appeared to lead. Belegwen had never truly felt as though she fit in with them, at least, not since she was an elfling. She did not desire to concern herself with acquiring the hand of the perfect ellon, dabbling in the arts, or learning the skills of healing.

No, Belegwen did not feel as though she fit in with them in any capacity, not even in their shared beauty and femininity. In fact, now she felt there was little to no chance of beauty at all; her body carried with it a small sampling of little reminders from her many skirmishes: scars. The largest was from an orc sword and extended diagonally across her right shoulder blade. She cringed as she remembered the pain which had resulted from the blow to her back.

Belegwen had been advised and encouraged to retire from being a warden after receiving that blow. Many of the city officials and wardens she worked alongside had thought that since she had experienced real pain, she would want to 'stop playing around at the fences' and be an elleth again.

How incredibly wrong they were.

As a warden, Belegwen could fight for the freedom of her land. She could protect the Lord and Lady of Lorien, two elves that she regarded with the utmost respect. Most importantly though, she could protect the helpless and prevent tragedies, such as the one that had befallen her own family.

She would never stop. Belegwen was passionate about protecting people and being a warden was the only job she could imagine herself doing.

Tired, but clean, she slowly slipped out of the water and grabbed her towel, drying herself off slowly. There was no need to rush because there was nobody else waiting in line. _"Perhaps I should go last more often,"_ she thought to herself as she wiped the last of the clear beads of water from her body.

Carefully tying her clean robe securely, Belegwen rolled her soiled clothing items into a ball and sent them down the laundry chute. Grabbing up the remainder of her possessions, she exited the bath soundlessly. A soft lament lingered in her mind and her lips hummed it quietly as she walked and thought sadly of Curudae's fate.

In no particular hurry, Belegwen ascended the stairs that led to her room. There were some loud, animated voices coming from one of the occupied rooms. She listened in as she passed it by and frowned as she heard the last bit of a lewd tale concerning an Edain barkeep who had been 'extra friendly' with her favors.

This was followed by a carol of laughter which upset Belegwen. _"Ellyn..."_ She thought with exasperation as she continued her ascension in silence. Belegwen was sometimes appalled by the behavior of some wardens she worked around, especially by those who were long-term bachelors. They tended to recant a lot of exaggerated stories, some insisting they had charmed many Edain women and had their way with them. Perhaps some of them did when they traveled outside of Lothlorien's borders.

Belegwen did not know if it was the truth or simple exaggerations. If it was true, it was not honorable for them to take women to bed though, as it was not the Eldarin way of life. Elves were expected to marry amongst themselves and remain monogamous to a single elleth for their entire immortal lives. From what she had heard from married couples, most loved each other deeply and would not want it any other way.

Anyhow, there were always a few ellyn who would recite these tales when bored, making parts of them up to outdo others. It was rather obnoxious, but Belegwen found she could not complain. She already had a hard enough time fitting in and did not desire to cause trouble. Belegwen knew she must live up to her name's meaning. She would indeed be a 'mighty maiden' and carry on through thick and thin. Feeling strong, she chose to ignore the despicable things being said within the room.

Eventually, she passed the Marchwarden's room. A tiny smile touched the corners of her mouth. He was tolerable. Well, at least he did not whisper about her or give her sideways glances the way some wardens did. No, he held his position with honor and seemed rather respectable.

When Belegwen finally reached her room and opened the door, a soft blue light brightened magically as she entered. She dropped her belongings unceremoniously next to her armor rack, quickly put away the armor she had worn earlier, and immediately tucked herself into her bed. Once she was settled in, the light dimmed again, quickly becoming as small as a star in the distance.

She turned to her side so she could watch everything through the part of her room that opened to an outdoor terrace. From where she laid, she had a nice view of the silvery treetops and the starry sky. She gazed at it until sleep finally claimed her over, refreshing her for the long day that was up ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Belegwen's name translates out to "mighty maiden"
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far! Thanks for reading!


	4. Breakfast Tension

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 4: Breakfast Tension

Warm air currents softly floated through Belegwen's open wall, blowing her silvery hair around her pillow a bit. A gentle sunray peeked in through her terrace, its brilliant light shining on her face. She blinked for a moment, then fully came out of reverie and began to appreciate the beauty of the new morning sun.

Carefully, she sat up in her bed and looked out the window. Had last night been a dream or had the Marchwarden wanted to have breakfast with her? Still a bit dazed, Belegwen made her way over to her armor rack. It now contained her cleaned attire, placed there during the night by the maids who cared for the wardens. Quickly and quietly, she dressed herself in her full armor. While the wardens often wore simple breaches and tunics, once a year they were required to wear their armor so they remembered how it felt and could smoothly operate in it if called to battle. While the armor was light, forged by the advanced skill of the Eldar, Belegwen was still looking forward to when she could wear her regular attire once again.

Afterwards, she found herself in front of her mirror, combing the snarls from her long silvery hair that cascaded all the way to the bottom of her back. Her quick-working hands pulled the top portion of her hair into four tight warrior braids, which she hoped would keep it out of her face. Once finished, she stared at the final product in the mirror, frowning a bit at her less-than-great braiding skills.

Belegwen sighed. "Beauty does not matter during battle." She reminded herself, then nonchalantly turned around and exited the room. She glided down the stairs and headed towards the dining hall.

Belegwen mentally cringed as she thought about actually sitting down with the other wardens to eat. She usually tried to avoid it at all costs because the ellyn would look at her strangely as she sat by herself and consumed her meals, whispering disdainful comments about her that she could just barely make out. Having had enough of that treatment, Belegwen would often go to the kitchen and grab some food to take along with her, eating it as she walked to the training grounds.

Cautiously, she entered into the dining room and gazed around to see a variety of elves and wardens sitting with one another and eating, chatting jovially amongst themselves. Belegwen smiled when she noticed that no one seemed to be paying her any heed this time; the conversations were still going as she approached the serving area. She stopped short of the buffet when a hand of steel clasped onto her arm, preventing her from arriving at her destination. She looked back, a bit astonished at the strength of the hold.

When she turned around, she found herself face to face with the Marchwarden and he appeared to be very unhappy indeed. "You are late. I hope this isn't a regular habit because I will not stand for it." He said with irritation clearly laced into his voice.

Belegwen bowed her head slightly with embarrassment. "I am sorry Marchwarden, sir. It will not happen again."

"I should hope not. Meet me at the table to the far right once you have your breakfast." He replied, then turned and walked away before she had the chance to say anything back.

Belegwen's eyes became tiny slits as her annoyance with him became momentarily visible. "Someone obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." She muttered to herself.

"He is always like that, believe me," came a voice from behind her. Belegwen whipped around to face Malnen, one of the cooks who worked in the dining hall.

Inwardly, Belegwen flinched. Malnen was one of Belegwen's few female acquaintances. Malnen was tall and beautiful, with shiny golden hair that flowed down her back in waves. She was a rather gossipy elleth, but was kind enough to serve Belegwen her meals in a sack that she could take along with her. However, she was always teasing and flirting with the other wardens, which made Belegwen rather uncomfortable around her.

"So, what brings you to the dining hall? Have you made a friend?" She asked, her eyebrow cocked as she looked over at Haldir. When Belegwen realized what her eyebrow was suggesting, she blushed a little with embarassment. She had never thought about Haldir in _that_ way before.

"Goodness, Malnen, of course not! This is simply a quick meeting between wardens, nothing more." She said in a mildly chastising voice as Malnen emptied her usual breakfast out of its sack and onto a plate for her, taking a moment to arrange the fruit in an artistic manner on the white china plate.

"If that is what you say, I will believe you. Still, should you change your mind, I think he would be quite the catch!" She said, whispering so a nearby warden was less likely to overhear.

Belegwen, fearing he had overheard anyway, replied sternly, "Fraternizing goes against the code of the wardens. I do not think of my brothers in arms in that way."

"Very well then," she said, winking at her and clearly not feeling any remorse for what she had said. "Have a lovely day, my dearest Belegwen, and try not think about all of the attractive ellyn around you!"

Belegwen rolled her eyes and took a deep breath to calm her ire as she walked towards Haldir's table. The last thing she needed were elves gossiping about her and the Marchwarden.

Doing her best to hide her frustration, she soundlessly slid into the large wooden chair opposite him. He looked up at her with a face that was seemingly devoid of all emotion. His gaze was cold and calculating, as if he was trying to figure her out somehow. Though this made Belegwen uncomfortable, she met his eyes momentarily before turning her attention to the food in front of her.

"Being second in command will mean that you will carry the title of 'Marchwarden' and will be expected to carry out a number of responsibilities. You will lead watches on the border regularly, manage the wardens there, handle any potential threats to our borders, and write reports to the Lord Celeborn about the happenings at the fences. I will be required to teach you everything I know because if something ever happens to me during a watch or battle, it is you who will take my place. Is this understood?"

She nodded, staring into his stern visage. "You will spend an enormous amount of time with me learning about tactics, leadership, languages, and a large variety of other skills that will be necessary for this job. This will be challenging, to say the least, so do not make your answer lightly. Are up to the challenge of becoming a Marchwarden?" He asked, looking intently at her as if gaging her seriousness and potential while she thought the proposal through.

"Yes sir." She replied, inwardly feeling a bit shaken as she was starting to realize how much work this would be. It made her rather dizzy to think about how much knowledge she was have to master to be successful. However, it was an honor to hold such a position. To Belegwen, saying no to such an offer would be unthinkable.

"Very well then," he said with his commanding voice, "You will meet me at the training grounds in an hour. We will there find out what you know and what you lack." With that stated, he placed his green cloth napkin on his plate and stood up to leave. He stopped momentarily and met her eyes once more. "Oh yes, and Belegwen... do not be late this time."

"Yes sir," she said, inwardly burning with frustration over how big of a deal her tardiness had been to him. She had not meant to be late! She was not used to having breakfast at a set time!

ooOoo

Haldir had not taken but five steps away from her table when Orophin, his brother and fellow warden, confronted him with a mischievous grin plastered on his fair face. Haldir rolled his eyes, having something of an idea of the teasing that was about to occur. "What do you want Orophin?" He asked grumpily.

"You have a very strange taste in ellyth, Haldir. What were you and that thing talking about over there?" He asked, obviously trying to strike one of his brother's sensitive areas and purposefully upset him.

However, his plan worked a bit too well. "That thing?" He echoed as he raised his eyebrows in astonishment at the disrespect Orophin was showing to a fellow warden. He found himself greatly upset with Orophin's inappropriate choice of words. "That thing?" He hissed dangerously, grabbing Orophin by the front of his armor and pulling him closer to him to try and avoid making a scene. Some elves had already overheard though and the conversations around them were dying down as more elves turned to look at the Marchwarden as he put his brother into his place.

Haldir took a deep breath, let go of his armor, then firmly reprimanded him in a quiet, firm tone. "That _thing_ , as you call her, is going to be your new Marchwarden, second only to me. If I were you Orophin, I would show some respect." And with that said, he quickly stormed out of the room, annoyed and embarrassed by the actions of his brother.

As Haldir walked out of the dining hall and into the shade of the many golden mellyrn, he could not help but wonder about Belegwen's current situation. How could she allow such talk to continue for millennia? Was she truly unaware of the problem or did she lack the confidence to confront wardens in these situations?

Haldir did not know which it was, but he did know one thing. It was going to change and it was going to change now.


	5. Training is Initiated

Disclaimer: I do not own Tolkien Enterprises or anything associated with Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 5: Training is Initiated

Time seemed to stop as the Marchwarden exited the cafeteria. Belegwen wished she could disappear. Several elves were staring at her, having heard every word exchanged between the Marchwarden and his brother. Silence filled the room and the tension was like a thick mist that was floating around her. She could feel her cheeks burning with humiliation.

Abruptly, she stood up and exited the room quickly, not bothering to finish her meal. Belegwen was well aware of the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. She did not let them though and kept a straight face. She knew she had to; her life as a warden depended upon it.

Belegwen eventually stepped off the main pathway and into the forest. Once she felt like she had distanced herself from the rest of the world, she made her way over to a golden mallorn and sat beneath it. She shut her eyes and allowed the sun's rays to hit her face gently, being shaded from their full effect by the tree's leaves.

 _"I will not cry... I will not cry..."_ She thought to herself over and over again and soon, the tears subsided from her eyes, remaining unshed. When she finally opened her eyes, they were filled to the brim with a new determination and pride.

Yes, she could be second in command. She _would_ be after she perfected her skills and received the necessary training. She would prove to all the wardens that she was worthy. A smile touched the edges of her lips ever so slightly as she got to her feet. She decided to leave for the training grounds early so she would not disappoint Haldir again.

Once she was back on the path, she started to head slowly in the correct direction while enjoying her surroundings. The trees of Lothlorien were gorgeous with their shining leaves of gold. Belegwen inhaled the clean, crisp air as she went on her way.

Suddenly she stopped because something was poking her in the stomach. She gazed down to see that one of her armor buckles had come undone. _"Stupid armor,"_ she thought to herself as she buckled it up again. Belegwen would be happy when this week was over and she could go back to her normal outfit. She understood why the Marchwarden had them do it though. It helped the wardens become accustomed to wearing it, just in case a situation arose in which they would be required to.

However, it agitated many of the wardens because it was not very practical for the border patrols. None of the wardens particularly enjoyed wearing it around the city or on the training grounds either. It was a burden, and like everyone else, Belegwen could not wait to rid herself of it.

"Only three more days of this," Belegwen muttered to herself as she walked into the training grounds. She looked at her surroundings. There were several ellyn shooting arrows at targets, both solitary and moving ones. A few were practicing swordplay with partners, taking care to avoid unnecessary injuries. A bit further away was a group of fairly young ellyn, each one of the four looking like they were barely of age. Belegwen imagined they would soon be eligible to become wardens. It appeared they were starting their training for it early. The ellyn were all standing in a wide semicircle, listening to their teacher, who just so happened to be the Marchwarden himself.

Haldir's eyes locked onto hers for an instant, then went back to his pupils who were clumsily working on an archer's stance with beginner's bows. Slowly, Belegwen took her bow from her shoulder and walked up to a target a bit farther from where the other wardens practiced. She did not care to hear anyone's whispers at the moment and wanted to get a brief practice in before she began her lesson with Haldir.

Taking an arrow out of her quiver, she aimed for the farthest target, all the way at the other side of the field. Long distance shots came easily to Belegwen, but would serve as a nice warm up. A second later she fired, her arrow flying straight and true. It hit dead center, as usual. Mere seconds later her bow was loaded again and Belegwen was aiming for the same target. She released the second arrow and watched as her first arrow was quartered, the wood being split down the center. Belegwen now truly smiled, satisfied with her handiwork.

"That was a decent enough shot, although this range is clearly too easy for you and you have also destroyed a perfectly good arrow for no reason." A harsh voice stated from behind her. Belegwen flinched and whipped around to face Marchwarden Haldir. Her eyes looked at his hard face, questioning his reasoning.

"What point is there in practicing something you have already perfected? It is a waste of your time and efforts, a pointless affair. Instead, let us move over here for a more unique experience." Haldir said, pointing to a grassy clearing at the far side of the range. Belegwen followed him quickly as he walked purposefully over to their destination.

When he stopped, she looked around and was uncertain of what the exercise would be. She could see no targets anywhere amid the tall grass and was confused. When he did not jump into a set of instructions, Belegwen asked him, "What do you wish for me to aim at?"

"Patience; you are getting ahead of yourself. You and I are about to play a little training game I call 'Elves and Orcs.' You will be the elf and I will be the orc." Haldir stated with an eerie smile, while Belegwen's face began to morph from anticipation to dread. This did not sound pleasant to her at all. "I have hidden three small targets, each the size of an apple, in this area. Your job will be to sneak through the grass without me knowing of your whereabouts and shoot the three targets when I am not looking."

Belegwen blinked in disbelief as he continued with his expectations. "You will have to stay low to the ground and move around the field without disturbing the grass. If I see movement in the grass or any part of you, I will attempt to shoot you with one of these rubber-tipped arrows." Haldir stated, pulling one of the special arrows out of his quiver for her to see.

"You are going to try and shoot me?" Belegwen reiterated with disbelief, shocked at what was about to happen on the training field.

"Yes, but do not fear these arrows. They will hurt a little if they hit you, but they will not penetrate your skin or cause any lasting damage, especially not with your armor." He stated cooly, but still Belegwen was not convinced of the merit of this exercise.

As if sensing what she was thinking, the Marchwarden glared at her. "Do not question my expertise. I know what I am doing, whereas you do not. Now, I will turn my back and count to ten. When I reach ten, you should be somewhere in the grass and may begin looking for the targets. Remember, move slowly and only move when appropriate or you will find out precisely what it feels like to be hit with a blunt arrow. I will not go easy on you, so be aware of your surroundings at all times."

Belegwen wanted to object, but he gave her no time to, immediately turning and starting his count. Belegwen found herself hastening into the grass, quickly hiding herself amid the tall blades as best she could and then froze as he made it to 'ten.' Immediately, Haldir turned around and started scanning the field for any signs of movement.

At this point, Belegwen realized this was going to prove to be a long day indeed.

ooOoo

Erthalion angrily stormed towards the bath in his robe, annoyed with just about everything that had happened during the day. Long had he waited to be promoted to Marchwarden, only to find out that Belegwen was going to be promoted instead of himself.

_Belegwen._

"She is not even supposed to be a warden," he muttered to himself as he forcefully pushed his way through the door that led into the hallway outside the bath. The door slammed up against the wall, interrupting a few chatting wardens who were awaiting their turns for the bath.

Ignoring all of the concerned looks he was receiving, Erthalion sat down on the bench and moped, his frustration showing visibly for all to see. The wardens beside him fell silent, their usual jests having ceased upon his arrival. After a few moments, he felt a firm hand upon his shoulder. He looked up to see who had dared to confront him while he was in this state.

It was well-known amongst many of the wardens that Erthalion was only half-elven and often struggled with anger. There was a side of him, distinctly Edain, that burned passionately within him in a way that many elves did not understand. Sometimes he struggled to understand it as well. He had chosen an immortal, elven life for himself, yet he could not seem to escape the traits of mortal man that lingered deeply within him. He had fought to contain his anger for millennia now, but still it boiled up within him like an bubbling pot, filled to the brim and ready to overflow at any moment. He desperately wanted to control it, but found that even after all of this time, he still did not know how.

"What is wrong Erthalion? What brings such rage to your heart?" A soft male voice asked, speaking quietly so that only his ears could hear the query.

It was Heledhril, one of his closest friends and confidants. He was one of the few elves who was willing to confront him at a moment like this and had grown accustomed to his occasional bouts of rage.

What Erthalion did not understand was why Heledhril was not upset about the news as well. Did he not realize that he could have had Belegwen's position as well? Could he not know they had both been cheated from what was rightfully supposed to go to one of them?

Erthalion sighed, not wanting to upset his friend with the details of his mental controversy. "If you do not already know, then it is not of any importance." He muttered almost inaudibly.

Then, as the door to the bath opened, he entered in quickly, ignoring the fact that he was supposed to be last in line. He wanted to avoid further questions from Heledhril and this was the only way he knew how. None of the present elves said or did anything to prevent him from doing so, not wishing to mess with his already troubled mind.


	6. Pain and Determination

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 6: Pain and Determination

The air seemed heavy around the exhausted figure who was just barely pulling herself up the stairwell. Belegwen was rather unsure if she would make it up the stairway this time or not. Her whole body ached from staying low in the field for hours, slowly combing through the grass until she had found each target and hit them with her arrows. Haldir had seen her moving three times and, true to his word, she had been hit with three blunt arrows. Two had hit her back and one had hit her in the chest. Had this been an actual scenario with real arrows, Belegwen would have been dead.

Once that unusual exercise was finished, the two had practiced throwing knives at a variety of targets for a few hours, then went for the longest run that Belegwen had ever completed. On and on they went, over hills and through the woods, sometimes off of the trails. Afterwards, Haldir had seemed fine, as if he did this exact run several times a week. Belegwen, on the other hand, felt terrible. Her legs felt like jelly, worn out and tender from the extensive run. She dared not lift her arms either; they ached from having thrown her knives over and over again, trying to achieve the absolute perfection Haldir expected from his second.

Knowing that she would have to walk back down the staircase to bathe was not a very reassuring thought at the moment. Somehow she made it into her room, then collapsed upon the hard floor, not being able to go any further. She could feel her muscles throbbing with pain. Nearly every one of them seemed to have been overexerted today. All was not well.

She slowly turned her body over on the cold floor and tried to undo the straps that held her armor on, using her shaky arms as best as she could. Minutes seemed to drag on forever as she finally got the retched armor off her body, piece by piece. Desperately, she wanted to go downstairs to the bath. Nothing sounded better to Belegwen right now than to wash the grass and mud from her body. However, she knew that she could not make it back down the steps and resigned herself to remaining in her quarters.

Mentally, Belegwen cursed herself for being so physically unfit. She couldn't believe that she had been a warden for all this time, yet she could not seem to keep up with Haldir at either of the training exercises they had completed together. Of course, Haldir's idea of training was much harder than what her previous training partners' had been. She had expected this to a certain degree, but she had not anticipated it being quite like this.

_"It is necessary."_ She thought to herself while feeling miserable about her current state. _"If I want this position, it is necessary."_

Suddenly, Belegwen's resolve broke and tears poured from her eyes like miniature rivers, finding their way down her cheeks and dribbling onto the floor. Belegwen did not wipe them away, unable to without having twinges of pain shoot up her arms. _"I must get to bed somehow,"_ she thought to herself, dreading what she was about to do.

Ever so slowly, Belegwen drug herself over to the bed, her soreness nearly overcoming her. Somehow she managed to pull herself onto the bed. Silently, she laid as still she could manage while pulling the light covers over her body. Sleep quickly claimed her, temporarily relieving her of the pain.

ooOoo

He was coming to her; she felt his presence before he had even arrived, in the way that she had for several millennia now. An instant later, she heard her husband's soft footsteps as he strolled in at a comfortable pace. Celeborn had never been one to hurry unless it was a time of great need. Without seeing his face, she sensed something was weighing deeply on his mind tonight, troubling him.

"You are filled with concerns tonight, meleth. What is burdening your heart at this time of night?" Galadriel asked softly, turning away from the terrace in their personal quarters and looking her husband over, finding him in a state of worry, as she had suspected.

Celeborn's countenance was bleak and spoke to her with a very serious tone. "I grow concerned about Belegwen. This greater responsibility has been all but forced on her with due haste and I am uncertain about whether or not she is well-enough prepared to handle it."

"Why do you think that? Tell me, what it is you have seen?" Galadriel asked, looking deeply into Celeborn's eyes to try and figure out the root of his concerns.

"I saw Belegwen tonight as I returned from my nighttime walk and she does not seem to be fairing well. In fact, it appears Haldir has pushed her far beyond her limits. I worry for her safety." Celeborn said with sadness in his eyes.

Galadriel understood Celeborn's concern, even though he could not see the importance of the situation in the way that she could. To Celeborn, Belegwen was like a second daughter, having become his ward upon the death of her family all those years ago. He had raised her as if he was her own adar and continued to look after her even now.

Galadriel closed her eyes for a few moments, acknowledging his pain and thinking over her response to him. It would be hard for Celeborn to witness what would happen to Belegwen, but Galadriel knew that some things were meant for the greater good. This was one of those things.

Indeed, some things were simply meant to be.

"She will recover; this, I see clearly." Galadriel stated, deciding not to panic Celeborn with the fullness of her vision just yet. "Soon she will become everything we have envisioned and more. Her destiny is greatness. We must not stand in the way of fate."

"If she cannot withstand the necessary preparations, will not all of this have been done in vain?" He persisted, halting in front of her. "She must be well enough to carry out her task or there is no reason for her to continue suffering in this manner."

Galadriel peered deeply into Celeborn's eyes. His heart was so kind, caring for her well-being. It was hard for Celeborn to watch anyone suffer, let along someone so dear to his heart. Galadriel walked over to Celeborn and took one of his hands between her own, meeting his eyes before reassuring him.

"You need not worry about this, Celeborn. She can handle this training and much more. I am certain this." Galadriel said confidently. "I see many great things in her future."

ooOoo

Belegwen awoke to a strong hand shaking her shoulder roughly. Her eyes quickly snapped into awareness as the lingering pain from her training the prior day once again became obvious. She rolled over in bed and came face to face with the Marchwarden. He looked rather cross, his eyebrows furrowed angrily. "You are late for our morning run. Get up, and be quick about it!"

Her eyes followed him as he made haste out of her room. Then, remembering she had no clothes on, she quickly checked to see what the Marchwarden had seen. When she saw the sheet was covering her body, she said a quick prayer of thanks to the Valar. What would have happened if it had not been?

"I shall have to start wearing my robe to bed." She muttered, annoyed already with the Marchwarden. A small part of her had hoped this was just a bad dream and that she would wake up to the sounds of birds sweetly serenading her from outside of her window during the normal morning hours, as she always had in the past. However, that was not so. It was still dark outside, the stars still lightly painting the sky above the city.

Belegwen rolled out of bed, all of her pain from yesterday immediately returning. She found herself falling onto the hard marble floor when she first stood up, but was able to right herself after a few minutes of stretching. Though the pain was not quite as bad as it was yesterday, her muscles still throbbed quite severely. She knew Haldir was waiting for her, so she started to put on her armor at a quick pace, noticing happily that one of the maids had cleaned and organized it for her.

After quickly putting the usual messy braids back into her hair, she exited the room, limping ever-so-slightly. The pain in her legs refused to go away as she took on the stairs one by one. Never had her body endured such torture, not even when she had fought in skirmishes with orcs on the border!

"It's about time," Haldir said snidely as she stepped down the final stair. "Be on time next time! I do not appreciate having my time wasted! Now, let's start our day with a run."

Immediately, he took off running down the path, an Eldarin blur in the first light of dawn. Belegwen tried her best to run after him, her eyes enlarging as she attempted to keep up with the rigorous pace he set.

Her mind started wondering about some questions that had been plaguing her since yesterday. How could he be so fast and do so many physical endeavors in one day? She simply could not understand it. There was also a part of Belegwen that wished she could figure out how to get on his better side. Haldir seemed to be nothing but upset with her for the last day and she wanted to remedy that somehow. Belegwen desperately wanted to figure out how she could work around his horrible attitude and prove to him that she could be successful as a Marchwarden.

However, these thoughts did not remain in her head very long. Soon all she could concentrate on was the pulsating beat in her legs as she pushed herself forward involuntarily. Her head felt as light as a feather and was slowly drifting off into the sky. Yet, at the same time her heart felt like it might explode, unused to being subjected to such torment. It quickly became hard for her to think of anything at all.

She watched as Haldir seemed to be getting further away, her legs gradually moving slower and slower. Soon she could feel the forest pathway underneath her hands. The world seemed to spin around her as she struggled to try and stand back up. Then, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Feel free to let me know what you think by leaving a comment.
> 
> -P.G.


	7. Realizations and Acceptance

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 7: Realizations and Acceptance

The darkness of night caressed the tops of the silver mellyrn in the Lothlorien wood, their leaves glistening in the soft moonlight. A gentle breeze rustled their leaves placidly. All was calm, including the ellon who was climbing the stairs which led into one of the healers' telain.

However, upon entering the room, tension ensued instantly as the Marchwarden of Lorien came face to face with the feistiest healer in the golden wood. Eltirwen was an old and rather beautiful elf with large grey eyes, long dark hair, and a presence that was mighty. To some elves she seemed rather uncouth, but in reality she was caring and had a strong backbone. Indeed, over the years she had learned not to let any elves usurp her authority when it came to healing.

"What brings you here, Marchwarden?" Eltirwen asked with a firm voice, placing her hands on her hips in annoyance from being interrupted while attempting to mix up a tonic.

"Is Belegwen awake yet?" He asked as the Eltirwen stood up and approached him, dressed in unembellished tan robes. "I have just began her Marchwarden training and I do not wish to have her fall behind." Haldir said, clearly annoyed with the situation that had unfolded. He had found Belegwen collapsed behind him on the pathway at the beginning of their morning run and had immediately carried her to a healing talan. That was during the earliest hours of the morning. However, the entire day had passed now and Belegwen had never came to find him, so he found himself back at the talan to find out what had delayed her.

At this point, Eltirwen crossed her arms and glared at him. "Belegwen will not be doing any training for a while, Haldir. You have overworked her body. Surely you did not expect that she could do everything you could right away? None of the wardens can and this is what happens when they try!"

Haldir now grew impatient with her tone. He could not remember the last time someone other than Lord Celeborn had taken that kind of a tone with him. "I will be the judge of that! Let me see her." He insisted, then started to walk around her. Eltirwen grabbed his arm before he could get past her though and stared into his eyes, her face glowering.

"She has not regained consciousness yet, but when she does, she will be in no condition to do anything for a few days." Eltirwen said firmly, holding onto Haldir's arm to prevent him from disturbing her patient.

Haldir huffed when he heard this news, yanking his arm away from her with an angry face of his own. Quickly, he stormed out of the talan and down the stairway from whence he came.

"Hmph! Good riddance!" Eltirwen huffed, then went to her back to mixing up the tonic that was half-made on her desk.

ooOoo

The first thing Belegwen noticed about her surroundings was the cool breeze upon her face. It softly stroked her cheeks and tugged at her loose hairs, blowing them gently away from her face. All was silent around her; in fact, the only thing she heard were some faint footsteps nearby, perhaps in another room? Slowly, the blackness she saw faded to blue as her eyes started to function again, her brain slowly becoming more and more alert with every passing minute.

"Where am I?" She muttered in a wispy voice as she slowly tried to turn her body sideways to look and see. She gasped as the pain suddenly returned, shooting through her sore muscles like lightning. Belegwen fell back into her original position and her eyes flickered around the dimly lit room with curiosity.

Ah, yes. She remembered this place. She was in the healer's talan, a place she had been a few times before. Belegwen was facing away from the room's open terrace, but moonlight was still pouring into the room and helping her to identify the familiar space. Suddenly, Belegwen heard footsteps and then a hand gently touched her shoulder. She gasped at the touch, then immediately regretted it, as she had managed to jerk her body in surprise.

"You are awake warden. It gladdens me to see it," said a female voice from behind her. Belegwen recognized the voice; it was Eltirwen, the healer. Once Belegwen knew who it was, she relaxed slightly.

"How are you feeling Belegwen?" she asked, walking closer to the bed so that Belegwen could see her.

Belegwen sighed, then whispered, "Weak and sore."

The older and wiser elf walked around to the other side of the bed and smiled kindly down at Belegwen. She looked ever-so-slightly less youthful than other Eldar in the golden wood, possibly from the stresses of her job. This reassured Belegwen though because it meant she was in good, knowledgeable hands. "That is something I can remedy. Let me fix you some tea." She said, then bustled off to do just that.

"Wait! How did I get here?" Belegwen called out to her as best as she could, her eyes shutting again as she began to feel light-headed.

"You passed out while exercising with the Marchwarden. Do you remember now?" She asked, sounding a little worried.

Oh dear. The reality of the situation was frightening to Belegwen. Her eyes immediately opened widely as she remembered the entire dreadful incident. There had been so much pain and agony; she had hoped all of that had just been a dream. However, it was not.

"Yes, I do", she finally replied, her shame showing in her eyes as she wondered what Haldir must think of her now. She had tried to prove herself to him and look where it had landed her!

Eltirwen immediately noticed Belegwen's mental anguish and laid a soothing hand upon her forehead. "Do not worry yourself, Belegwen. It was out of your control. Now, you should focus on resting while I make you some tea." She said, getting up and silently making her way out of the room.

However, rest did not come to Belegwen as she could not help but wonder how the Marchwarden would react when he saw her next. Sleep did not come to her until Eltirwen gave her some herbs to ease her anxiety. Then, she was finally able to get the rest she desperately needed.

ooOoo

The next morning, the same figure from the night before climbed up the stairs. Soft sunrays hit his hair, making it shine vibrantly. However, Haldir noticed nothing about himself or the weather. He barged right into Eltirwen's talan and stormed into Belegwen's room before Eltirwen could stop him.

His eyes immediately fell upon her small figure underneath the sheets. She was very still, but he could see that she was simply sleeping in the bed. Her silver hair was sprawled out over her pillow messily, spilling off of it and onto the floor in a silvery pool. The sun hit her tired face, the rays showing off the tired lines underneath her eyes.

"What are you doing in here?!" Hissed a very upset Eltirwen, shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

"I wanted to see is she was up, obviously." He replied slowly, not bothering to keep his voice at a low level.

Eltirwen signaled for him to quiet down by putting a finger to her lips, then frowned at him. "I did not say that you could come in here. You are supposed to receive permission first." She whispered tersely.

Haldir rolled his eyes at this and opened his mouth to counter attack this remark, when a soft moan from the bed turned both of their heads towards Belegwen, who was now conscious for the second time. Belegwen stared at them both, her eyes mere slits since the early rays of sunlight were shining brightly into them. "What…?" She softly mumbled, resting her gaze on the two arguing elves.

"At last, you are finally awake." Haldir stated, surprised momentarily, but then getting right back to business. "We have training to do."

After mumbling a few inaudible things, Belegwen started to slowly sit up, holding the sheet close to her naked body so she would not expose herself. About halfway up she cringed and fell back down onto the bed, her silver hair going everywhere when her head hit the pillow.

"She is not going anywhere." Stated a very firm Eltirwen, appearing to be quite annoyed with the Marchwarden at the moment. She crossed her arms over her chest sternly, then glowered at Haldir quite heartily. "Leave. Now."

It was Belegwen, however, that surprised everyone by breaking the tense silence. "No, give me a moment," she muttered with determination in her voice. She tried to sit up again, only to fall back once more.

"No!" Eltirwen exclaimed, now looking rather alarmed as she rushed to Belegwen's side and tried to prevent her from getting up again. "Stay put! You do not have the strength to be doing anything right now. You will stay here for a while and rest." She stated quite clearly, in an unquestioning manner.

Eltirwen the raised herself back to her normal height and walked right up to the Marchwarden, appearing utterly fearless in every possible way. "And you, Marchwarden," she stated, jabbing her index finger on his chest and pushing him back slightly, "You will leave now before you cause any more trouble. Have I made myself clear?" She asked, though it was not truly a question; it was a demand.

Haldir's brow furrowed at this act of boldness, but he still managed to remain calm and unruffled somehow. Belegwen could only imagine how much anger was welling up within him at that very moment.

"Very well then," he said, his head still held up high, "I will be back tomorrow and we shall do some training that lacks physical demand." He said to Belegwen, then turned to Eltirwen. "Surely you will not object to this."

Eltirwen's eyes narrowed as she reacted to his foul attitude. "If you must, but only if she is awake and feeling well enough. Am I understood?"

Haldir did not answer; he just turned around and headed for the door silently. The talan was soon as quiet as it had been ten minutes prior.

"What am I going to do with that ellon?" Eltirwen muttered under her breath as she slowly went about her work once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I hope you're enjoying the fic!


	8. Receiving Advice

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkein Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 8: Receiving Advise

Haldir slowly walked away from the training area, having exhausted himself for the night. He had trained without a partner today and had found that he really did not miss Belegwen. Though they had only worked together for one day now, she had spent most of it lagging behind him. Because of this, he had not been able to train as hard he would have preferred.

Silently, he brushed a hand through his light gold hair, the moon making it shimmer much in the same way as when the sun hit golden mellryn leaves. The wind ignorantly blew it back into his face, its breezes carrying his tendrils every which way. He was just about to enter the stairwell that led up to the warden's talans when he heard a voice on the wind.

_"Haldir,"_ the voice softly called again. However, this was not a normal voice heard from his ears, but instead was a voice coming from depths of his mind. It was the Lady of Light, Galadriel, calling to him. _"Come speak with me Haldir,"_ she said in a low, whispered voice. _"You know where to find me."_

The wind suddenly seemed much cooler than it had before. A chill was suddenly running up his spine. Haldir calmly turned around and headed towards the lady's garden, where they had often met in the past. _"What could this be about?"_ He wondered to himself, wishing he knew why he was being summoned out of the blue.

A few minutes later he found himself deep within the heart of the lady's personal garden. It was one of many places of great beauty in Lothlorien. Haldir found himself surrounded by moonlit flowers of every shape, color, and height, all well-tended and enjoying the power that radiated from their land. Haldir made his way through the garden slowly, looking for Lady Galadriel as he walked down each path.

"It is beautiful night, is it not?" A gentle voice said from behind his back. Haldir quickly turned around, only to find himself face-to-face with the magnificent lady herself. Clad in intricately woven white lace, the lady's hair shimmered like gold by the light of the moon. She was surrounded by bright light, a product of her having been in the presence of the two trees long ago. Her deep eyes dug intensely into his, searching for something he did not quite understand.

Not waiting for him to answer, she continued slowly. "It is a perfect night for a nice run, I would say. What a pity it is that your partner cannot join you."

Haldir said nothing about this comment either, looking down at his shadow, which was cascading across the ground. Suddenly, his head rose up and he looked Galadriel straight in the eyes. "Forgive me for changing the subject my lady, but I am very confused and in need of answers. Why did you choose Belegwen for the job as my second?"

A slight smile graced Galadriel's face momentarily before she replied. "Belegwen is an elleth who demonstrates great devotion to the city as a warden and is hungry to defend our lands. I have rarely seen such determination in an elf before. Most importantly, her heart is honest and true. I do believe it is important that we put her wonderful attributes to good use."

Now a bit embarrassed at having asked a what now seemed like a rather stupid question, Haldir turned away from her and stared out into the starry sky. "However, there is only so much an elf can do Haldir." She stated softly, placing a gentle hand upon his shoulder. "As long as you ask it of her, she will try her best."

"Yes, I know," Haldir whispered nearly inaudibly, his eyes focusing on the larger crescent moon that hung high in the dark bluish-black sky admid a scattering of stars.

"I must request that you work her into the training slowly. It takes courage for her to do what she does and I would hate to see her spirit waste away within the confinement of the healer's talan."

"I understand, my lady." He whispered gently, a bit of what might have been shame lingering in his voice.

"Very good," she stated, slowly removing her hand from his arm. "You shall train her and she will learn much from you. Together, you will have the power to elevate one another towards a greatness that neither of you could achieve alone."

Astonished with these new words, Haldir quickly turned around to ask the lady what they meant, only to find himself quite alone with wind as his only companion.

ooOoo

Eltirwen eyed the elleth on the bed rather curiously from the next room. Belegwen seemed to be making a rapid recovery. Already she could walk around, though she was still a bit sore in the legs. Eltirwen had told her to stay in bed regardless of this, however, because she would need all the rest she could get before returning to the training field with Haldir.

There was no doubt in Eltirwen's mind that Haldir was going to overwork her again and that she would be seeing the female warden in the very near future. She knew from years of dealing with the Marchwarden that he was very stubborn and set in his ways. She doubted he would change his advanced training regimen any time soon.

"The warden with the greatest rank can be a fool at times, same as anyone else." She muttered to herself as she put some water in a kettle over her small wood stove, intending on having some tea before she went to bed.

She strolled into her personal quarters lazily, coming to a stop in front of a large mirror. Eltirwen then proceeded to take her tight braids out, quickly unraveling her dark brunette hair. She smiled as her hair fell around her face, framing it perfectly and making her look quite attractive. Eltirwen loved wearing her hair long, but being a healer meant it was more reasonable for her to have it out of her face.

After quickly slipping off her dress and putting on her nightgown and robe, she slid into the kitchen again and took the whistling kettle off the stove. Carefully, she poured equal amounts into two delicate china teacups. After stirring in an assortment of herbs, she quietly picked up both cups and headed to her patient's softly lit room.

"Here, drink this Belegwen." She said softly as she held one of the steaming cups out to Belegwen. "How are you feeling tonight?"

"Much better, all thanks to you," she said, a half smile appearing on her moonlit face. Eltirwen watched as Belegwen silently took a sip of her tea, then cringed as it burned down her throat. The heat of the tea brought tears to the warden's eyes, though she blinked them away immediately.

"It's hot." Eltirwen pointed out, stating the obvious.

"Indeed." Belegwen muttered, staring at her cup, her mind seemingly somewhere else at the moment.

"Well, I believe you are fine now, so I shall have no choice but to release you tomorrow. I'm sure the Marchwarden will be thrilled." She said, throwing a bit of sarcasm into the genuinely good news. "Now, you must get some sleep tonight in order to be refreshed in the morning."

"Perhaps, but I must finish more of this book first. It really is rather interesting." Belegwen said, indicating an open book she had laid down on her lap.

"What book is it?" Eltirwen asked, genuinely curious about what the only female warden in Lothlorien enjoyed reading. She watched as Belegwen lifted the cover of her book up to her to reveal the title _The History of the Lothlorien Wardens._

Eltirwen immediately felt frustrated. "Where did you get that?" She hissed, almost dreading the answer that she knew was going to come.

"A warden brought these for me earlier. He said they were from the Marchwarden and that I was to study them whenever possible." Belegwen answered, not realizing she was fueling Eltirwen's wrath. Eltirwen then looked down at the floor to find six other thick books lying there.

"That troublemaker cannot seem to stay out of here, can he? I swear, if he comes in here again..." She idly threatened, trailing off as she realized there was little she could do to change Haldir.

"You put down that book now and go to bed! You can finish it tomorrow!" Without warning, Eltirwen yanked the book away from her and grabbed both tea cups up with her other hand. "See you in the morning Belegwen! And for goodness sakes, do not always do everything that ellon says. Most of the time he is just being an awful brute!"

With that stated, Eltirwen shut Belegwen's door and headed off to bed.


	9. Moments of Confusion

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 9: Moments of Confusion

_Soft blue light illuminated the dark room as the tall figure entered it slowly, a blank expression pasted upon his fair Eldarin face. As he crept in soundlessly, a small figure entered behind him, clutching his hand protectively. Though it was dark, the elfling's fair silvery hair glimmered as the magical light washed over it._

_Ever so slowly, the tall elf walked around the room, turning his head to scan the area. The elfling followed him silently, never straying from his side for a second. Her eyes were wide and full of fear as they approached every nook and cranny of the cozy little room._

_Finally, the tall figure stopped and stooped down on his knees. "My dear, there are no creatures of Melkor hiding in this room. I deem it safe for you to sleep in."_

_The elfling's wide blue eyes flashed around the room again rather suspiciously. "Are you sure ada?" She whispered, her voice shaking with the fear that still lingered in her heart._

_The tall elf sighed, a frown touching the edges of his mouth. "I shall also make sure your brother knows not to tell you stories of that nature. Come along dear; it is time for you to drift off into the land of dreams." He stated, leading her over to her small bed. He lifted her into it and gently pulled the light covers over her tiny body._

_"Will you sing to me?" She murmured softly as he stood up to his full height._

_"I am sorry, my dearest Belegwen. The fences await me. Shall I send your naneth in?" He asked, a saddened tone showing up in his voice. He wished he could stay with his daughter and help her conquer her fears, but his duties could not wait._

_"Yes please." She whispered softly, "Good night ada. Stay safe at the border tonight."_

_"Good night, my dearest daughter. May the Valar bless you with the most wonderful dreams until you awaken again." He softly said, then disappeared through the doorway, making the blue-tinted light dim and leaving her surrounded by the menacing darkness. Tears poured from her eyes, dampening her silken sheets as the chilly breezes blew around her, taunting her to no end. Quickly, she pulled her head underneath her sheets and waited for some comfort to find her._

_"My dearest Belegwen, what torments your heart so?" A tender voice asked from beside her. Her eyes peeked out from beneath her sheets to find the face of her naneth staring down at her._

_Belegwen could not bring herself to say anything. However, once her naneth sat down on the edge of her bed, she immediately embraced her tightly and cried onto her reassuring shoulder. She could feel her naneth's soft hand caressing her hair all the while, her lips whispering soothing words into her ears._

_Then, ever so gently, her naneth laid her back down into her bed. "Your adar said you requested a song. Which do you want to hear, my dearest daughter?"_

_"Sing to me the song about Nimrodel." The child softly whispered between muffled sobs. Her naneth's hand rested soothingly upon her head as her voice began to ring out softly. Her voice was beautiful, flowing from her lips to the heavens._

_Belegwen listened to the soft tune and soon felt herself drifting off, just as her ada had promised. The winds no longer were chilling, but now felt gentle and cool upon her tear-streaked cheeks. Comfort filled her being, and it was at that moment when she felt the softest of kisses placed upon her lips._

_"Goodnight naneth," Belegwen muttered as she slipped off into dreamland..._

A strong hand suddenly gripped her shoulder and shook her, waking her from her placid slumber.

Her soft blue eyes were immediately met with a set of intense ones; the eyes of the Marchwarden. "It is time for you to get up. We have work to do today." He stated, quickly turning and exiting her room within the healer's talan.

Belegwen carefully sat up and looked around. Already, the images of her dream seemed faint and distant, as if it had never occurred at all. Yet, she was astonished. Never before had she had a dream about her family that did not involve images of their deaths.

She cringed as her thoughts turned to the unpleasant images she had long wished she could forget. "Why?" She asked, addressing herself out loud and blinking back tears from her eyes as she remembered the grim scene she had walked into as an elfling. That fateful day had changed the course of her life forever, making her first an orphan, then Celeborn's ward. The experience had molded her into an elleth who desired to be a warden, despite all the odds that had been placed against her.

She had made it though somehow. Belegwen had accomplished what she set out to do, going above and beyond the call of duty time and time again. She desperately hoped that somewhere, her family knew what she had accomplished and would take some pride in the elleth she had become.

Feeling a bit emotional, Belegwen got up and started to look around for her armor in the dim light of dawn, the sun just barely peeking over the horizon and the sky starting to fill with the first colors of the sunrise. Belegwen began to feel trepidation when she suddenly realized she could not find her armor. "Where did it go?" She asked herself, knowing it had just been in the room with her yesterday.

Then, her eyes found some other clothes that were neatly laid out on a chair, her boots standing humbly on the floor close by. "My warden outfit?" She questioned softly, not understanding what had happened, but then she remembered. She had missed the remainder of the armor-clad days. She was free to wear her comfortable attire now. Haldir must have brought them in for her.

"Thank you Marchwarden," she muttered as she quickly dressed, trying to find other things to think about to get her family's talan off her mind.

ooOoo

As soon as Haldir exited Belegwen's room, he found himself slowly sitting down in one of Eltirwen's chairs with a look of shock on his face. What had just happened in there?! His mind was going utterly insane as he recalled exactly what he had done.

When Haldir had arrived at the healer's talan, he found that Eltirwen was still asleep, so he had taken it upon himself to enter Belegwen's room and get her up for the day. For a few minutes though, he had found himself staring down at her sleeping form. Haldir was very used to seeing her wearing her warden's uniform and her infamous messy braids. However, while watching her sleeping, devoid of the uniform and braids, he had noticed something about her that he had never realized before.

Belegwen was actually quite pretty and feminine. Her hair seemed much more lovely without the braids, especially as it started to glisten when the first light of dawn passed over the terrace and onto her silvery tresses. Her skin was smooth, pale, and looked soft to the touch. Her lips were rosy and full.

Haldir could not help but allow his eyes to wander a little lower as well, enjoying the way her neck curved into her smooth shoulders. He could see her collarbone, prominent and proud, leading the way to her arms. Those arms did not look thin and delicate the way many ellyth arms appeared, but had defined muscle tone that had come along with years of wielding weapons. Yes, he knew her arms were capable of most anything and felt they did not look out of place on her, regardless of them being different than what he had seen on most ellyth.

When he caught himself eyeing the curve of her breasts, which were covered by the bedsheet, Haldir had turned around for a moment to get his thoughts back to a more appropriate place. After all, this was his training partner and fellow warden he was thinking about!

With a sigh, he turned back to look at her again and was able to appreciate how peaceful she looked. Haldir suspected she had been through some hard times during her life, which seemed to have resulted in her being shy and distant with other elves. He did not know all of the details, but he knew she had lost her family when she was younger and had been Lord Celeborn's ward for over 15 years before she came of age.

Because of this, he suspected that Belegwen had little to be happy about on a regular basis. She had never smiled very much during her time with the wardens and never quite seemed to be relaxed. Now though, caught in the middle of a dream, her face seemed tranquil and her lips almost appeared to be wearing a smile. He liked that about her and became so lost in the moment that he found himself bestowing a small kiss on her lips.

He hadn't really thought about the consequences of his actions as he bent over to kiss her, but had immediately starting panicking once he realized what he had done. Haldir had quickly shaken her awake and left the room abruptly, his thoughts speeding by as if they were on galloping horses.

"Why did I kiss her?! Why did I linger in her room?! And did I really admit she was pretty?!"

Haldir was very confused by what had just happened. In reality, he had seen many ellyth who were much more beautiful and acted much more normal than Belegwen. He had been attracted to many of them in his youth, but had given up on the idea of courting a long time ago. An elleth had not caught his eye in this manner in many years.

So, what was it about Belegwen that had suddenly piqued his masculine interest? Honestly, he had not a clue.

"I do not know what has come over me," he thought to himself, gripping his head violently with distress momentarily before forcing himself to act normally. Mentally though, he was very alarmed. "What if she had been awake for that?! What if she knew?!"

"Marchwarden, I am ready." A tired-sounding voice said from behind him, nearly causing him to lose his cool. Pulling together as much dignity as he could muster, he turned around to face her, only to find that she was looking at him oddly, as if slightly confused about something.

Inwardly, Haldir shuddered. Was she going to say anything about this?! How could he face her now?! "Marchwarden, are you alright sir?" She now questioned, looking at him with what appeared to be concern in her eyes.

Feeling insecure and annoyed because of his own idiocy, Haldir headed for the doorway, motioning for her to follow him. "We are going to go for a short run first. Then, after breakfast, we shall start to learn some strategies." He stated softly, then began to run down the stairs of the talan with her following in step. He would have to think this over later when he had a moment to himself.


	10. A New Type of Training

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 10: A New Type of Training

Belegwen slowed as she and Haldir arrived at their first destination. They came to a complete halt in front of the dining hall. Immediately, Belegwen's hands fell to her legs and she hunched over, trying to catch her breath. As she inhaled and exhaled audibly, the morning sun blazed down upon her thin figure and she stared at her shadow, which lingered in the brown dirt just ahead of her.

"Stand up straight if you want to catch your breath," Haldir demanded, sounding somewhat agitated. "You will never catch your breath if you stoop over like that."

She looked over at him as she returned to a straightened standing position. Mentally, she grimaced at her progress. Haldir's breathing did not seem to be affected by their exercise and he generally appeared unruffled from their endeavor. She had not previously thought that she was this poor of a runner. However, Belegwen reassured herself that some of the problem was that she was fresh out of the healer's talan and was still not fully healed.

"Stretch a bit also, unless you would like to send yourself back to Eltirwen." He said nonchalantly, staring up into the golden leafy branches of the trees as if there was something terribly interesting up there.

Belegwen did as she was told, bending back her legs one at a time to stretch her quadriceps. Secretly, she was still wondering if Haldir was all right. He seemed to be preoccupied with something today and that was not like his usual self at all. Something was bothering him, but what could it possibly be?

"Sir," she said, trying to get his attention quietly, "Marchwarden sir, I am ready now." After a moment, his eyes snapped away from their distant viewpoint and met with hers.

"Very well then," he said, sighing as a breeze blew his golden hair across his face. He brushed it away quickly and said, "Before we go to breakfast, you will learn another lesson." Belegwen's curiosity had been piqued and she gave him her full attention while he explained.

"Before you can lead any wardens in my stead, you must gain their respect." He stated strongly, showing that he thought what he was teaching her was of the utmost importance. "For they will not follow you if they think poorly of you."

Now Belegwen became anxious. How could she possibly get the wardens to respect her after all of the mockery they had submitted her to over the years? Would she ever be able to lead them? Perhaps this job was not meant for her after all...

"You shall start out by getting to know them a bit better. However, that is not your first task." He shared as he started to move up the stairway to the dining hall door, motioning for Belegwen to follow his lead.

They came to a stop in the middle of the entrance. Belegwen watched as the wardens ate and talked merrily, their light hair gleaming in the sunshine that was pouring through the glass ceiling of the room. She shivered at the sheer amount of wardens that were inhabiting the room, concerned about the task Haldir was about to issue.

"Today, I merely want you to go up to all the tables and wish the wardens a good morning. If they ask you anything, answer it in a mannerly way, unless it is vulgar, in which case you shall ignore it. Am I understood?" Haldir asked, looking down at her and awaiting an answer.

Belegwen met his gaze, her eyes filled with terror. Her mouth opened up a bit and her jaw quivered, as if she could not find the correct words to respond with. She could not believe that he wanted her to do this. How could she-

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go!" He stated, his exasperation clearly perceptible.

"But-" Belegwen stuttered, not moving a muscle in any particular direction. Surely he would understand why she did not wish to do this. Most of the wardens in the room had never spoken to her at all. She seldom spoke with them either. Belegwen did not even know some of their names.

Haldir's furrowed his brow dangerously and narrowed his eyes. "If you want them to respect you, you cannot fear them." He stated slowly, his voice taking an eerie monotone. "If you have the courage to speak with them openly, you will be regarded by them. Do not fear what they think, for it truly should not matter to you. You want the honor of being a Marchwarden, so go and do it!"

Mixed emotions passed through Belegwen's mind. He had hit the nail on the head. How he knew about her terrors, she did not know. Was it that obvious, or had he found out more about her from Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel?

Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. However, she knew he was right. She did want to be a Marchwarden now, quite badly in fact. She had worked so hard during these first days of training and she knew she had a long way to go. She was torn because a small part of her was ready to give up, but the larger part of her screamed out for her to surpass all her fears and achieve the dream.

_The dream._

Becoming a Marchwarden had never crossed her mind until about a week ago. Belegwen had never thought she could accomplish a task this big. Her family had never had a history of high warden positions and she had figured she would be no different. Now that she knew it was possible though, she was not quite ready to give it up.

Her eyes closed for a second, though it felt like an hour to her. Then, she opened them and an expression of raw determination rested upon her suddenly composed face. "I understand Marchwarden, sir." She replied, pulling herself back together. Both her mind and heart finally agreed and she stepped forward toward the first table.

A tiny smile appeared on Haldir's face as she walked over to the first table. She was going to do it. He had seen her emotions just now. It had taken quite the mental battle before she had acquired the confidence to do what was necessary.

 _"She will make it through this training if she allows herself to."_ He thought to himself as he watched her. And indeed, it appeared she would. Belegwen left the first table with a smile on her face and walked over the next.

All that she had needed was a small push out the door.

Haldir's face quickly returned to its normal stern position. He went and got himself a plate of food from the buffet and sat down at his designated table. From there, he watched as she slowly accomplished what he had asked of her.

Now that the other wardens saw she truly thought she belonged here, perhaps they would treat her more normally. Maybe that had been the problem all along. Or at least, that is how Haldir himself had viewed the problem. It was still entirely possible that their would never be a normal work dynamic between Belegwen and her colleagues. Haldir was rather unsure of this and only time would tell the truth about her future.

Seeing her smile suddenly reminded him of the kiss he had bestowed upon her earlier in the morning. He had gotten so caught up in her social anxiety that he had nearly forgotten. _"I must have just been tired and lost in the moment. I will not allow myself to be off guard like that ever again."_ He thought to himself as he chewed on a strawberry from his plate.

Allowing himself to deny the problem for a little longer, his mind then wandered back to all of her faults. She had lagged behind once again during their jog today. He had not gotten to run the speed or distance he was accustomed to. He would not have time to take a second one tonight either, as he had a busy day of training planned for her that he was obligated to fulfill.

In spite of all this, Haldir could not help but feel a bit happy for her as he watched her conquer her fear of socialization. She now seemed to be doing it naturally. This was definitely an improvement. Now she would at least be treated fairly, or so he hoped. However, the second she looked in his direction, his face soured again, a frown lightly touching both ends of his mouth.


	11. The Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks goes to out to Violetpansies for the lovely comment. I'm glad you're enjoying the fic!
> 
> Thanks also for all those who are reading and leaving kudos!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 11: The Unexpected

Belegwen was all aglow as she pranced out of the dining hall. Her lips kept trying to form a smile even though she was attempting to keep a straight face. The wardens had appeared slightly surprised at her presence, but they were not at all crude as she had originally expected. In fact, they had all been quite polite.

_"I do not know what I was afraid of before!"_ Belegwen thought to herself as she walked towards the library where the Marchwarden had said they would meet. A light wind rustled the golden treetops above her and a few soft leaves fell into her silvery hair. Her hand quickly brushed them out of her tresses, which were rather warm from the sun's vibrant rays.

She softly sighed as she entered the library, unready to leave the beautiful day for the confines of the indoors. With regret plastered upon her face, she searched through the rooms of the secluded library for Haldir.

It was at the top floor that she finally found him waiting for her. He was sitting comfortably in a chair, leaning over a large table while reading something. There were several large books sprawled out across the table, some open and some closed. Immediately he looked up, acknowledging her presence. "Come sit and we shall get started." He said with a dull voice she had not heard from him before.

Belegwen was slightly startled by his voice. He was acting so strangely today and she could not seem to figure out why. It was good that he was no longer being so demanding, but she was not used to this total lack of vigor either. It was as if something important was on his mind and it was keeping him from functioning in his usual way.

Silently, Belegwen pulled up a chair and they began.

ooOoo

Two hours later Belegwen exited the library while feeling mentally fatigued. However, nobody would be able to see how she looked because of the large stack of books that she was trying to carry back to her room in the warden's halls.

"As if I didn't have enough things to read already..." She muttered insolently as she stumbled up the stairs to her room with the pile wobbling from side to side dangerously.

Whatever had been bothering Haldir before, he had quickly snapped out of it. In fact, he had puffed up and became his bossy old self again. When she had questioned any of his strategies, he had quickly retaliated with answers, proving his methods had been perfected years ago with sound logic.

The funny thing was that every time he proved her wrong, he got rather carried away with his voice. He would always start at a whisper, then grow louder and louder until he earned himself a reprimand from the chief librarian. They had been approached by her twice before she had threatened to kick them out of the room for disturbing the peace.

Thinking about this released a small chuckle from Belegwen's mouth as she tromped up the final black marble stair and pushed the door to her room open. Ah, the look on his face had been priceless when the librarian had told him that she didn't care whether he was the Marchwarden or the Lady of Light herself; he had to stay quiet regardless!

Upon entering her small room, Belegwen promptly dropped all of her books down onto her armor rack and then breathed a sigh of relief. She then looked over the mess of books that were scattered on the rack and floor. Spotting the one she wanted, she quickly grabbed it.

_Advanced Bird Calls for Leaders._

Belegwen now sighed again. Haldir said they would practice these tomorrow when they went back to the fences for their next fortnight of border patrol. This meant she had to read the thick book all in one night. She groaned at the thought of staying up studying into late hours while memorizing the book's contents. It would not make for a pleasurable night at all.

Slightly annoyed, Belegwen settled herself comfortably on her bed and was just about to start reading when her door burst open quite unexpectedly. Totally unprepared for this, Belegwen gasped and took a rather hard tumble onto the cold floor.

Looking up immediately, she found herself glaring at none other than the Marchwarden. "Please knock before entering." She declared angrily, then instantly regretted the words that had flown out of her mouth in the spur of the moment.

Haldir appeared rather surprised as well. He was obviously unused to being talked to in such a manner. "Sorry," he muttered, looking down at the floor suddenly as if the black swirls interested him.

An awkward silence filled the air. "What brings you here Marchwarden sir?" Belegwen inquired softly, feeling bad about her outburst. She was still in shock that she had spoken to him with such power. It was very unlike her.

Haldir seemed to be willing to let it go though and continued as if nothing had happened between the two of them at all. "I thought we should practice some swordsmanship skills today. Now." He said, ignoring the embarrassment she felt from her outburst. His calm and demanding demeanor had already returned and the expectation for her was set.

Belegwen blinked a few times, then got to her feet and followed him out the door and down the long staircase once again. She smiled as the sun hit her hair, warm and familiar. The two quickly approached the training area and found a spot away from other wardens to where they could practice safely.

Belegwen reached down and unsheathed her sword. The blade shimmered brightly in the light as she unmasked it. Her sword was called 'Nimrodel,' for it had been found down by the mouth of the river nearly an age ago. It was most definitely of Eldarin origin, but none of the historians had been able to pinpoint its exact creator. The Lady of Light had given the sword to Belegwen about a half a millennia ago. Though its history was unknown, it was wonderfully light and had still served its purpose quite well. Belegwen would use no other.

Belegwen finally looked up to see Haldir already in a stance, waiting for her to signal that she was ready. Quickly, she acquired her stance as well and they started in. He started with a side slash. She instantly countered it and then tried a forward blow. Haldir blocked it easily, his hand quite steady, yet nimble.

Suddenly, instinct kicked in and before Belegwen even realized what she was doing, she had kicked the sword right out of his unsuspecting hand. Nimrodel was pressed tightly up against his neck. A dull thud could be heard as Haldir's sword fell to the ground beside him.

Haldir's eyes were wide as he stared at the shimmering blade by his neck intently. Slowly, Belegwen pulled it away and both of the partners shared a sigh of relief. "Where did you learn that?" Haldir asked inquisitively.

"My adar came up with his own style of swordplay while he was a warden. He recorded tricks and tips for doing all of his special sword maneuvers in his journal. It is in my possession." Belegwen replied softly, her mind flashing to her dead family for an instant before she pulled herself back into the present.

"I see," muttered Haldir, using an almost gentle tone of voice. "I would like to look over those journals sometime, unless you are opposed to this idea."

"I will consider it," Belegwen replied, unsure if she was willing to allow someone else access to her adar's private accounts. It was one of the few items she had that belonged to her family and she treasured it greatly.

This revelation was followed by a moment of utter silence, only interrupted by the wind's gentle whisper through the trees and the barely audible song of a bird from on high. "I was unaware your adar knew of such things. Pity. If I had know he had such skill, I would have had him at an even higher rank."

Haldir then paused briefly before asking, "Will you show me how to do that last move you did?"

"Certainly Marchwarden sir. I would be happy to." She stated as she slowly walked over and grabbed up his sword from the grassy area where it had landed. Her eyes widened at its weight. How could he wield such a heavy sword so naturally?

"This move is all about timing," she said as she lugged his sword over to him. He took it from her easily, as if it weighed nothing at all. That disgusted her greatly. It was unfair that he could have such strength! "You do not want to kick the sword while it is pointed or even slanted towards yourself or you will be impaled. You want to kick it while it is being turned over in the hand because that is when the user has loosened his grip."

Belegwen took a breath and was about to continue when a warden ran up to them from the confines of the shady forest. The ellon looked horrible and the stench coming off of him was terrible. He reeked badly of a smell that no Eldarin warrior could would fail to identify: orc blood. He was covered in the foul navy liquid. His own blood was trickling down his face from what appeared to be a sword slash across his cheek.

His urgency caught their attention and they turned simultaneously towards him. He stopped and immediately grabbed Haldir's arm harshly while he took a moment to catch his breath. His eyes were filled mingled with fear and grief. Utterly surprised, Belegwen instantly took a step back. The smell had already started making her slightly nauseous.

The elf the stood up, still panting from exertion. "Marchwarden sir, there was an orc attack on the western front. Orophin… Orophin was hurt. I could not get there in time." He stammered, then finally met eyes with Belegwen, revealing that tears were welling up in his soft grey eyes. "Come sir, I know not of his condition."

Upon hearing this news about his brother, Haldir dropped his sword and took off at a sprint towards the healer's talan. The other warden followed after him, though not nearly as fast. Belegwen simply froze, stunned at the news, as she watched the elves run into the city.


	12. Too Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 12: Too Late

Haldir was in a dimly lit room, silent and alone. There was no breeze coming through the terrace because the curtains were drawn. The air was heavy and stale around him as he sat in a wooden chair, paralyzed at the sight he beheld. He gripped the arms of his chair tightly as his mournful eyes rested upon the limp body lying before him.

He had come too late.

Time seemed to stop as waves of grief crashed repeatedly into his heart and mind. His brother had been attacked by orcs and they had brought an early, unnatural death to him. Haldir cringed as he thought of this, tears now starting to stream down his face.

"The one time you needed me and I was not there for you." He whispered as he slowly arose from his hard seat and stood up next to the bed where Orophin's lifeless body was lying. "I am sorry I have failed you."

Now Haldir sat softly on the edge of the bed and placed one hand on his brother's cool face. "How could this happen to you?" He whispered, audibly questioning the Valar. His face crinkled up with an expression of pain and he cried, attempting to muffle his wails with all of his willpower, but failing miserably. "You were so strong, so sure of yourself, so smart... I do not understand how this could have come to pass."

Mentally, he thought back to the scene he found when he entered the healer's talan an hour ago. There had been no time for hope or even a goodbye because Orophin had already been declared dead. Something inside of Haldir had broken upon seeing his brother laying motionless on the bed and he had immediately been filled with a terrible rage. How dare the Valar allow yet another one of his family members to perish needlessly?

Rumil had been there too, having come in with Orophin from the fences. Ever the emotional one, he was crying loudly, going on about how he had been unable to help Orophin in time to save him. Haldir had reacted very poorly to that admission and, being shrouded by his grief, had shouted at him for not protecting Orophin. He had told him to leave and Rumil had listened, unable to control his wailing as he ran down the steps by himself.

Of course, he now wished he had not screamed at Rumil. It had been a momentary lapse of judgement on his part, a gut-wrenching reaction to the situation, one he was unable to control as he had struggled with the piercing grief of loss. It had been an unfair thing to accuse Rumil of not protecting Orophin though. After all, Rumil had surely been busy fighting several orcs on his own and there was only so much one ellon could do at a time.

Haldir suffered silently with his thoughts, knowing his poor reaction would cause a rift between him and his remaining brother. Of the three, Rumil was the youngest and the most sensitive, often wearing his heart on his sleeve and being very open with his affections. He loved to joke and laugh, but also deeply cared for the elves he surrounded himself with. Haldir knew it would take a great deal of work to fix the problem he had now created.

His brother Rumil deserved to be here with him, to share in the grief of this horrible moment with family. Now that he was gone, Haldir selfishly wished he was there. He hated that he was alone with Orophin's body, suffering with no one there to offer any comfort or understanding.

Most of all though, he wished this was all a horrible nightmare that he would wake up from at any moment.

Unfortunately, it was not.

Reality had struck him hard this time and Haldir had never felt so alone in his life. Ever so slowly, his family was being slain one by one and he could not seem to prevent it from happening. Rumil was now the only family he had left and he had ran him out with his own anger and grief. _"What a fool I have been."_ He thought to himself, shaking his head and then staring at Orophin again.

He wondered to himself if Orophin had known that he had cared and loved him. Haldir was not one to frequently express such things, but it had been there, nonetheless. He just hoped that somehow, Orophin had known it. The last thing Haldir remembered doing with Orophin was scolding his for his inappropriate treatment of Belegwen.

 _"If only I could have gone to him and made things right between us. If only that had not been the last thing I said to my brother."_ He thought, shivering under the weight of his emotional pain as tears continued to flow down his cheeks.

Haldir leaned forward and kissed his brother's cheek one final time. "You will always be my brother and I will always love you, no matter what." He whispered close to his ear, gripping his shoulder tightly to try and impress the full meaning to him, as if he could somehow still feel it.

Unable to sit so closely any longer, Haldir walked numbly back to the chair and gazed at Orophin once again. It was there that he allowed his anguish to truly swallow him whole. He cried for the entirety of the night, knowing he would never see again Orophin walking in the Lothlorien woods.

ooOoo

Belegwen's eyes widened as she noticed that something was very wrong with the atmosphere in the warden's halls tonight. Absolute silence surrounded her as she exited the bath. This made her uneasiness even worse. She had already terribly worried about the situation at the fences today which she had heard about when the warden had approached Haldir. Naturally, she had heard many a rumor as well. Most of them were horrible and involved Haldir's brother Orophin being mauled by orcs.

 _"Dearest Valar, please do not let it be true. Please let him be well and recover."_ Belegwen thought to herself as she silently started up the stairs. The emptiness of the hall was also concerning. It was only early evening and the moon had not even risen yet. The sky was still a fair, medium shade of blue and was only now beginning to show the first signs of darkening. _"Usually there are many wardens out and about at this hour. I fear what their absence means for Orophin and Haldir."_ She thought to herself, feeling anxiety at the thought of another warden losing his life on the fences.

The stairwell was so silent that she could nearly hear her silent footsteps going up every step. Belegwen shivered, not enjoying the cold draft that floated through the deserted halls.

After a few more seconds curiosity overcame her. Stealthily, she leaned up against one of the doors and listened for any sounds of life. Shutting her eyes, she could make out the faintest whisper of two elves conversing at whisper, their voices tinted with obvious concern.

Belegwen quickly pulled away, now scared about what seemed like inevitable bad news. Though Belegwen was not terribly fond of Orophin, she certainly did not want to think about his eternal life ending unexpectedly. No elf should die in such a way.

As Belegwen rounded the corner of the spiral staircase, she saw the first warden she had seen all night. A few steps up from her was Rumil, lying facedown on the stairway. He was shaking slightly as he sobbed and gasped repeatedly. Immediately, pity struck Belegwen's heart and she quickly approached him.

Kneeling down gently beside him, Belegwen placed one of her soft hands gently upon his overturned head. She stroked his golden locks softly as he continued to cry, not even bothering to look up and see who had approached him. "Rumil," she murmured, "Let me help you to your room."

"What good is it?!" He wailed, his voice cracking as he spoke with her. "My brother is dead! It matters not where I go because he shall never return!"

Shock and pain immediately hit Belegwen as she finally heard the truth voiced aloud. She had hoped to all of the Valar that the rumors had not been true, but clearly they were. She had simply been denying the truth until she no longer could.

Though Belegwen would have loved to sit and cry with him in the stairwell, something inside of her told her she should not. At least, not at the present. She had to be strong for this ellon who had just lost a beloved brother. This would be very hard for him, for it was well-known that the three brothers had been extremely close to one another.

Using all of her mental and physical strength, Belegwen pushed herself up from the cold marble floor and preceded to put Rumil's arm over her shoulder and lift him to his feet. When she finally got him off the floor, his legs buckled underneath of him and he sagged down against her, unable to contain his grief. In response, Belegwen wrapped her arm tightly around his middle and hoisted him back up, refusing to leave him there for all of the elves to see.

"Come, walk with me Rumil and I shall help you to your bed." She whispered softly. Belegwen knew from experience that there was little one could say that would comfort an Eldarin soul after such a tragic loss. She could only help him find a place where he could remain undisturbed until he was ready to deal with the pain.

Slowly, step by step, they made their way up the staircase. When Rumil's knees buckled, Belegwen would heave him to his feet with all of her might and then they would continue on.

Finally, the pair arrived at his room. Belegwen kicked his door open and they entered, the soft blue light brightening at their presence. When the two reached the bed, Rumil simply fell onto it, now bursting with sobs anew.

Gently, Belegwen lifted his feet onto the bed, not wanting to leave him half off the bed. Carefully, she removed his boots from his quivering feet and laid them at his bedside. Once he looked comfortable enough, Belegwen sat down beside him on the bed and began stroking his hair once more.

"Haldir is right. This is all my fault." She heard his muffled voice say into his pillow. Belegwen's eyes grew larger upon hearing this. Was Haldir truly blaming poor Rumil for Orophin's death? How terrible!

"That is preposterous, Rumil. The fault is clearly with the orcs, not you." Belegwen stated, pulling his face up sideways so she could look him straight in his eyes. "I am certain Haldir was upset when he said that. Do not take it seriously."

"He would not even let me stay with him!" Rumil exclaimed, then buried his head back into his pillow, wetting it down with tears.

"I am sorry," Belegwen murmured as she stroked his soft golden locks, trying to comfort his as best as she could. "I am so sorry."

Belegwen sat there with him until he finally used up all of his strength and fell into a light sleep. It was only then that she felt her own pain rise above the surface of her strong exterior.

 _"Though he was never kind to me, he did not deserve such an unnatural death."_ She thought to herself as she gazed at the starry sky through Rumil's bedroom terrace. _"No elf deserves that kind of death."_

Soon she could hear a beautiful lament floating through the sky, the voices of several elves melding together harmoniously to honor Orophin's valiant life. One by one, tears filled her eyes and dripped down her cheeks as she lamented for him. Finally realizing that she would need some rest, she silently left Rumil's room and went to her own.


	13. Taking Command

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I appreciate you supporting my story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 13: Taking Command

Belegwen watched as the sun at last began to rise, casting away the shadows that lurked under the proud mellyrn. She watched as the smooth leaves changed from the shining silver hue of the night to the glistening gold they sparkled with during the day.

Sleep had never claimed her during the night. Belegwen's head had been so full of thoughts that she had been unable to relax. Wiping away her tears that were shimmering as they caught a ray of light, she finally sat up in her bed and looked around her room. Everything was in its place, as it always was.

This brought a small smile to her lips for a few seconds. At least there were a few things that remained the same; Belegwen took comfort in their familiarity. The elves around her though were changing, becoming more and more troubled as the number of incidents with orcs was steadily rising. All of the recent tragedies that had befallen the golden wood were starting to take their toll.

Belegwen once again found herself worrying about Rumil and Haldir. She could only imagine how deeply wounded they both were currently. She had prayed for them both last night as she listened to the laments the great singers had performed to commemorate Orophin's life. She hoped they would be able to recover from the terrible blow they had been dealt.

Weighted down with renewed despair, she gently rose from her bed and dressed in her Galadhrim breaches and tunic. Silently, she braided her hair as best she could. She sighed as she saw the sloppy results in the mirror. It would have to be good enough because it was the best she could do.

Suddenly, Belegwen realized something that frightened her. Haldir was surely in too bad of a state to come with her to the fences for border patrol today. If he could not lead the watch, that meant... Belegwen's eyes widened and she dropped her comb as shock overtook her.

As second in command, it would be Belegwen's job to lead them.

"Oh no, how will I do this? I have only just begun my training." She said, questioning herself as she looked in the mirror.

She did not have much time to panic though as the sound of loud knocking came from the opposite side of her door, increasing her anxiety twofold. Belegwen slowly wandered over to the door and opened it.

It was the Lord Celeborn. "My lord." She stated in acknowledgement, then bowed slightly with her fist resting on her heart. When she met his eyes again, she noticed that he looked rather concerned.

"Belegwen, how do you fair today?" He asked quietly, in a refined manner.

"I have seen better days, my lord." She said sadly. Indeed, the pain from the previous night was still weighing on her heart heavily.

"We are living in a time riddled with great sorrow. Each of us must do what we feel is right in order to find comfort in these trying times." He said, placing a kind hand of reassurance on her shoulder. They stood quietly for a moment before he continued speaking, bringing his hand back down to his side.

"I assume you already know what tidings have brought me here today. Having lost his brother, the Marchwarden is suffering a great deal of pain. This is the third familial death he has dealt with during the last millennia. After Haldir's parents fell, he was able to move on. This, I believe, will leave a scar on him forever though." He stated in a sad tone.

"I am saddened to hear it." Belegwen replied, feeling deeply troubled about Haldir and Rumil's loss and the quarrel they had the night before. Would the two be able to make up and comfort each other? Surely, they it was what they both needed, but Belegwen knew precisely how stubborn Haldir could be at this point. What if they remained estranged from each other for a long period of time?

Belegwen's thoughts were quickly interrupted as Lord Celeborn continued to speak. "You will be needed today, to lead his wardens on the border patrol. Do you think you are able?" He asked, looking at her, his eyes questioning. Belegwen frowned at the thought. She did not feel prepared for this, but she also did not wish to disappoint her lord.

"I am willing to try, my lord, but I fear that I am untested at this and still a greenhorn in every way. I have only just begun my training as a Marchwarden." She said with more than a bit of insecurity in her voice.

Belegwen was silent for a moment, before asking, "What if I do something horribly wrong?" Her uncontrollable fear had finally revealed itself.

Celeborn sighed. "The timing of this test is poor, but it cannot be prevented. I have faith that you will do your best and keep our lands safe. Will you do it?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Very good." He replied. "The wardens will be waiting for you at the city gates. I must warn you though that some of them are in a bad emotional state. If you think they are incapable of doing the job, send them back here and I will find a few replacements to send to you on the borders."

Reaching his hand up to her shoulder again, he said, "Be mindful of all movement and use tact with every situation you find yourself in. Remember, the decisions you make will determine the safety of our people. Do not make the with haste."

Belegwen nodded at him, knowing his words were wise. Before lowering his hand, Lord Celeborn gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Be safe out there. When you return in a fortnight, come to me with news from the borders before you do anything else." With that stated, the lord of the woods turned away and headed down the stairs.

Belegwen watched him for a few moments, then followed slowly. In the depths of her mind, she reassured herself and did her best to push down her emotions of fear and sadness. Her duty had to come before all else right now and Belegwen was ready to complete it. Her mind was determined and her heart was filled with strength. She knew what had to be done and would complete her task.

At last, she reached the bottom of the stairwell and turned to the outdoors. It was amazing how brightly the sun was shining. Belegwen was temporarily blinded by its warm, golden rays.

She quickly walked to the city gates and was there met with her very first group of wardens. There were about twenty of them there, all fully armed for the fences, but not appearing to be in a good head space. There was an unusual hush over the group and many of them had traces of lingering anguish in their eyes. If this had been any other situation, Belegwen would have thought this group was pitiful. However, under the circumstances, it would have to do.

Upon her arrival, many wardens looked up to her, a bit of strength and hope filling their eyes at the sight of a leader, even if it was a very inexperienced one. By this time, all the pain had left Belegwen's face and she stood tall and mighty at her post.

"My fellow wardens, this shall be my first time leading you. I know very little, but I am prepared to try my best." She stated loudly, projecting her voice so that all of them could hear. "You must do me a favor though. If you do not feel well enough to go or know that you will not be able to concentrate on the protection of our borders, I must ask you to stay behind. Do not worry, no disrespect or shame will come to you for this. Lord Celeborn and I simply want the wardens to be strong enough to patrol vigilantly. Am I understood?"

Many of them nodded, and a few replied with muted 'yes ma'ams.' Knowing that she would get no better response, she motioned them on. All of them followed her obediently, their duty still strongly ingrained within their beings, despite their sadness.

Belegwen led them and they followed obediently. Over hills they went and through the forest deep. After an hour of traveling quickly, they arrived at their destination. Gathering her courage, Belegwen approached the main watch talan. Silently, she climbed the ladder up that had been thrown down from the tall mallorn tree.

The Eldarin leader there turned to look at her. He was a muscular, almost burly elf with golden braids flowing down his back. Slightly nervous, Belegwen slowly approached him. "I am here with my wardens to relieve you of your duties sir."

At first, he looked at her oddly, then peered over the ledge to see her group of elves, waiting patiently for her next command. "Where is Haldir?" He finally asked, a bit of confusion in his voice.

"He is indisposed at the moment. I am his second, Belegwen. I dismiss you and your wardens from their duties." She repeated, looking him square in the eyes. His eyes flickered, perhaps because an elleth had given him an order, but then obeyed and performed a birdcall that told the elves in the treetops that their time was up.

In a few minutes, all traces of them were gone. This relieved Belegwen a great deal. She climbed down from the platform and looked over her group. She was happy to see that most of them seemed very alert and on task at this point.

"Go to your regularly assigned posts. If anything is sighted, send word to me." After she finished talking, all of the wardens dispersed into the woods.

Belegwen found herself alone on the main watch platform. "I can do this," she reassured herself. "I can."


	14. Understanding

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 14: Understanding

Behind her, Belegwen led a group of weary wardens who trudged back home in the darkness of the night. Still focused on her task, Belegwen carefully followed the unmarked trail through the trees covered in silver leaves. Thankfully, there had been little action during her fortnight at the fences. The only problem, in fact, had come from a few lost Edain who had tried to wander into the lady's wooden realm.

They had not been troublesome either. Belegwen had simply given them the directions they needed and then they set off in the opposite direction. Over and over, Belegwen mentally thanked the Valar for the relative simplicity of this first border patrol. She was not sure if she could have handled anything too complex yet with the little training she had completed.

After much toil and travel, she spotted the blue glow of the Eldarin city ahead. Smiling slightly, she came to a halt and turned to address her exhausted group. "You are now dismissed from your duties. Go and rest well." She said softly, then headed through the gates and walked through the city to the familiar stairway which would lead her to the Lord Celeborn to report.

Belegwen slowly put one tired foot in front of the other as she ascended the delicate spiral staircase. Her mind was overflowing with a multitude of thoughts. _"What happened in the city during the last fortnight? Would there be more bad tidings? Was Rumil still suffering? And Haldir? Had the two resolved their differences? What would happen to them-"_

"Marchwarden Belegwen, what tidings bring you up here on such a gloomy night?" The soft voice of Lady Galadriel said from in front of her. Belegwen looked up and found herself face to face with the Lady Galadriel. She now realized that she had been so entranced with her thoughts that she had not realized that she was already at the top of the staircase.

"I am here to report the state of the borders, my lady." She replied after giving a low bow to honor Galadriel's presence. "Our wardens had very little action the past fortnight. The only beings we encountered were a few mortal men who were lost. We sent them on their way with directions to their destination."

"Well done." The lady stated, turning away from her and approaching one of the many terraces of the large talan. Feeling a swell of pride within her chest at how well everything had gone, Belegwen turned away and prepared to make her exit, when the lady spoke once again. "Come hither, dear Belegwen."

Belegwen turned again and slowly approached Lady Galadriel, who had not moved from her new position. She came to a stop and stood by her side as she had been instructed. "Is there something you need from me, my lady?" She asked calmly, looking into the darkened night sky to stare at the twinkling stars above.

Lady Galadriel's deep eyes caught hers after a moment, Belegwen catching a small glimpse of the great power that dwelt within her. Once again, Galadriel looked out towards the city, this time raising a dainty arm with her index finger pointing towards something in the distance. "Can you see him too? The shattered soul out there in the burial grounds?"

"Yes, my lady." She replied, now seeing the elf from afar. It was Haldir, kneeling upon a fresh grave that could have only been that of Orophin. Before she was able to control it, a tear came rolling down her cheek at the thought of another life lost.

"Noble Orophin was buried there earlier this week. I fear that Haldir has refused all of my offered comforts, as well as many from those who love him. Without intervention, I fear his grief will continue to grow until it overtakes him." Galadriel said, her sadness and fear evident in her tone of voice.

Slowly, the lady turned to face Belegwen and looked deeply into her eyes. Belegwen felt as if she could see her soul was filled with unrest because of it. Quietly, the Lady of Light continued, holding the intense stare for even longer. "Understanding is what he seeks. Go and speak to him, for you are no stranger to the pain he feels."

An eruption of negative images filled Belegwen's mind at the mention of her past. Belegwen shut her eyes and took a deep breath as the painful memories surrounded her once again. Thinking about her family's deaths often shook her to the core. Sometimes, she wondered if she would ever be able to escape the memories of what she had walked into that fateful night. Indeed, it seemed as though the wound it had created within her would never fully heal.

Belegwen knew all too well what Haldir was going through and her heart hurt for him as she acknowledged his plight. She also knew quite well that if she did not go and fetch him now, he would be stay out there all night. Perhaps even longer.

"Very well then, my lady."

"The kindness in your heart shines brightly, Marchwarden Belegwen." Galadriel stated. "Lord Celeborn wanted me to relay to you that you must be prepared to take command of a different border patrol tomorrow morning. The warden I sent to take charge of the group must return to the city before the patrol is complete. You must finish the last week for him and bring the wardens home safely."

"I will, my lady. I bid you a fond goodnight." Belegwen replied, feeling slightly disappointed about leaving again so soon. In her heart, she knew that with Haldir currently indisposed, it was a necessity for her to take on extra responsibilities. Slowly, she hauled her tired feet over each stair until she finally made it to the bottom.

A great sorrow filled her as she thought about Haldir standing out by the gravesite all day, alone. He probably needed someone to speak with about what had happened. Knowing him though, he would be quite stubborn about it.

Through the cool night air Belegwen marched, on and on towards her destination. She walked under the silver-lit trees and into the very heart of the forest. All was quite silent around her, other than the wind's occasional swish through the clumps of leaves on the trees. As she appeared to be exiting the city, Belegwen knew she was getting close.

The amount of trees started to dwindle as she approached the clearing. Crisp, knee-high blades of grass and beautiful wild flowers started to softly rustle around her as she entered the meadow of the deceased. The wind blew around her, seemingly whispering the stories of the elves whose lives had been lost in the past. There they laid, immortal lives that were incomplete and still caused mourning for all who remembered them.

At once, she saw him, standing up tall and true. His dark shadow was casted down upon the fresh plot of dirt that his eyes rested upon. She wondered if he sensed her presence. "Haldir?" She softly questioned, her eyes now wide with worry.

Belegwen frowned when she received no answer. Tentatively, she reached out and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Come, let us go back together." She stated while taking ahold of his arm and gently attempting to pull him back towards the path. However, his feet seemed to be firmly planted into the ground and moving suddenly did not seem like an option.

"I need my brother." He whispered angrily, then yanked his arm from her grasp and took a seat in amongst the tall blades of grass. "You know not what I need."

"But-"

"Leave me now." He growled, never looking away from the plot.

"Haldir, I-"

"I said leave! You do not understand!" He yelled with a firm finality within his voice. Anyone else hearing this voice would have known better than to continue trying. He sat in sullen silence, waiting for her to obey and walk away from him.

For Belegwen though, he had unknowingly hit a nerve. Her eyes quickly enlarged and filled with rage. No longer realizing what she was doing, she sat down right in front of him and grabbed his chin with one of her strong hands, clasping it tightly. Falling to her knees, she glared into his shocked eyes.

"Oh, but I do understand Haldir…" She said, he voice dangerously low and quiet. "I was simply an elfling, happy and skipping home from school. I called for my parents and brother, but they did not come and greet as I had grown accustomed to. I entered that talan and I saw them. I was only 29, Haldir, but I saw them. I saw the blade marks upon their fair skin and I saw their cold blood in a puddle all around them. No words or gestures can possibly describe how I felt when I called to my ada's limp body and he responded not! Nothing can! So before you say that I do not understand, think of who you are speaking to!" She passionately cried out, blinking back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. She ripped her hand away from his chin, still fuming with anger and battling the sorrow of her past all at once. They stared at each other momentarily, both breathing heavily with emotion from all that had been expressed.

Belegwen was not quite sure how it happened, but she found herself suddenly wrapped in a strong embrace. He held her so tightly and was immediately sobbing upon her shoulder. Cautiously, she wrapped her arms around him as she continued to blink away her own tears, leaving them unshed. She had finally gotten through to him and they had both found some understanding.

Just as suddenly as before, another surprise hit her as his cool lips found hers and gently kissed her. All time seemed to stop for Belegwen as she felt the soft, tingling sensation upon her lips. Seeking the comfort that he was obviously receiving from the closeness, she too joined in and they both felt the world's pain and loss fall away from them for a few seconds.

But finally, it all ended and she found herself gasping for breath and staring into his dark blue eyes with her hands gently cradling his cheeks. "Never forget that I understand." She whispered, then parted from him, rising to her feet in a slightly shaky manner. "Come, you need to take rest from this place."

Belegwen then offered him a hand and he took it, holding it tightly as he pulled himself to his feet. Nothing more was said between them, but he followed her back to the warden's hall, his mind obviously somewhere else. The walk was slow and silent, Belegwen looking behind her to check on his state every so often. Though he was walking slowly, she dared not leave him behind. Eventually, the two made it to the top of the black marble stairs, and he into his rightful bed. Belegwen watched as his weary soul drifted into a dreamless sleep. Perhaps he would find a bit of relief from his tension in that state.

Belegwen, however, was so filled with uncertainties that sleep never befell her.


	15. Attack

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 15: Attack

Morning. The bright sun rose over the treetops, its creamy light flowing down through the trees, creating leafy shadows on the forest floor. A single elleth walked through it all, followed by her own tall, dark shadow.

Belegwen sighed as she squinted in the sunlight. She was so tired and confused. So many things had happened the night before and she was not even sure if what she remembered was what had really happened. "That kiss... Was it just comfort, or was it something more?" She murmured to herself as she hiked up a tall, wooded hill towards the northern border.

All she was truly aware of was her own exhaustion. She had now not slept for a few days and was about to go a few more without it. "Dearest Valar, please let this patrol be as uneventful as the last." She quietly prayed as she finally spotted the tree that hosted the central talan. Finding some energy, she broke into a slow jog to reach it more quickly.

Her graceful hands took hold of the rope ladder that fell from the tree and she hoisted herself up the steps slowly. At the top of the tree, Belegwen came face to face with a rather fair, blonde-headed ellon. She did not know who it was. He simply smiled at her as she hoisted herself up onto the platform.

"You are the Marchwarden sent by the Lady, correct? You are here to take over for me?" He asked, visibly glad to see her.

"Yes," Belegwen responded.

"Very well then. There has not been any action here as of recently, so there is nothing to report to you. Thank you for helping me by coming out here. I will now return to the city." He stated, then deftly grabbed the sides of the ladder and slid down it quickly, not bothering to use the footholds. Belegwen watched wearily as he started to run in the direction she had come from. Quickly, she found herself pulling the ladder back up into the talan. All would be well, provided she did not fall asleep on the patrol.

ooOoo

It started as a feeling of unease, but Belegwen could not see anything in the night and did not know what was wrong. A pulsation started to be felt through the floorboards of the talan she was on. It started to feel more defined and rhythmic.

"What is out there?" Belegwen murmured, squinting as she gazed into the distance. Suddenly, her mind became aware of what was happening. The ground was shaking and something was coming their way.

Immediately, she crouched down and looked out into the night, taking a quick notice of the other wardens silently following her example. There was a blazing light growing in the far distance. It was not that of the sun though, but the light of many flaming torches. Leaning forward dangerously on the edge of the talan, Belegwen peered towards the light to try and see what was in the distance.

When she finally made out what it was, she gasped and then jumped back from the edge. Orcs! A large herd of them! There had to be at least two hundred of them out there, perhaps more! Never before had she seen so many orcs together at once! As the rumbling got started to get heavier, Belegwen speedily jumped into the next tree.

Heledhril looked surprised when she landed next to him on the talan. "Heledhril!" She whispered urgently, grasping his shoulders for emphasis, "There are two hundred orcs approaching! We are going to need more wardens and fast! Run and notify as many wardens as you can! Send them all here! Now go!" With that said, Belegwen leaped back onto her own talan.

Her breathing was no longer steady, but she stuck her hand in her mouth anyway, attempting to make the emergency bird call for her wardens. It worked. She projected it at all directions, hoping the orcs would not take notice. The group was moving quickly and Belegwen estimated they were going to be there in less than five minutes. Her wardens stood at alert, ready to receive her next instructions.

Adjusting her fingers, she made a different call. All of the wardens immediately took up their bows, knocked their arrows, and were ready to fire upon her next call. Yanking her hand from her mouth, she quickly drew out her bow and loaded it with an arrow. Her hand quivered with fear as the rumbling was now shaking her deck, leaving her excess arrows and lembas rattling and moving on the wooden platform.

She tried her hardest to focus, feeling for the first time the immense pressure that came with being in charge of the wardens. One wrong move and all of their lives would be at stake. Haldir was not present to guide her movements now so she had to get this right the first time.

Belegwen knew would have to give the signal soon. The orcs were quickly approaching the golden wood. She could hear their blood curdling screams and see their disgusting faces in the orange firelight. Her heart beat faster and faster as she realized the wardens would not be able to hear her bird call over all of the ruckus.

Her eyes widened when she realized what she would need to do. _"I shall have to scream it and give away my hiding place."_ She thought to herself, fear dancing in her dimly lit eyes.

"Oh dear Valar..." She whispered inaudibly to herself as tried to build up the strength necessary within her to complete her duty.

Then, with all of the might she could muster up, her voice screamed out, "FIRE!"

At that moment, the battle had begun. The normally calm night was filled with screams of agony as arrows soared swiftly through the air and hit their targets, the first line of orcs falling. However, they were simply trampled by the next wave.

There were simply too many of them for twenty wardens to take on at once. As the front lines kept falling, the others came closer and closer, some even ducking and dodging all of the arrows deftly. Soon she saw a group of them climbing up her tree, their claws destroying the bark and their fires scorching its lovely branches.

Out of arrows and time, Belegwen had no choice but to grab up her sword and fight them defensively as they approached. They had all heard her scream and now her tree was swarming with them. She flung her sword back and forth, beheading two, then gouging one through the stomach. Slimy blue blood splashed onto her face and sword as she flailed wildly. The orcs just kept coming and coming though.

Rapidly, Belegwen noticed that she was tiring; her normal accuracy and speed were no longer what they usually were. She was becoming sloppy. There were now twelve orcs crowded around her on the large talan and more were approaching from halfway up the tree. Belegwen was being totally overwhelmed.

She screamed and jumped back as she felt a burning sensation on her foot. Quickly, she kicked the fallen torch off of the talan, though it had already done its damage. Flames started to jump up beside her. She could feel the heat of the smoke on her face and smell the revolting scent of her own burnt foot.

Suddenly, Belegwen gasped as strong hands grasped around her neck, claws sinking into her fair skin. There were orcs swarming all around her, touching her, clawing her... One was on fire... She couldn't breathe... Her sword... Air...

Something unexpectedly stabbed her middle and she fell over out of the tree, taking a hard landing onto the ground. She started gasping and sputtering, her hands trying to find the source of pain. It was coming from her side. They had stuck her own sword into her side! "Oh no..." She whispered weakly, her jaw quivering. Grabbing Nimrodel, she yanked it out of herself and screamed as excruciating pain hit her like a punch.

Slowly, her vision started to dim. Another orc was standing above her. With the little strength that she had left, she proceeded to jab him through the chest with her sword. He screamed and hobbled away as she lost her focus on the battle surrounding her.

Fading. Everything just faded away.

ooOoo

"Oh no! No!" Rumil screamed as realized he had stepped on an Eldarin body that was sprawled across the ground. "Belegwen! Belegwen, do you hear me?! Belegwen!" He cried out as he shook her limp body. She was bleeding so much. Quickly, he checked her wrist for a pulse and found a faint one.

Tears filled his eyes and poured down his face ,making clean pathways through the dirt and orc blood that covered it. Through all the fire and chaos, his face was filled with worry for her. "I will not let you perish! You must live, my friend!" He sobbed as he quickly grabbed her up with one arm and started to run towards the city, slashing orcs with the sword he held in his other hand as he came upon them. Nothing slowed him down, not the dense forest foliage or the heated flames. He used all of his power to try and get her to the healer's talan before it was too late.

"Please live Belegwen! Please!"


	16. Alarm and Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! If you're enjoying the story, feel free to leave a comment below! Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 16: Alarm and Chaos

Eltirwen jumped out of her bed immediately upon hearing screams for help outside of her talan. Not even bothering to put a robe over her silken, wine-colored nightdress, she flew down the hall, surrounded by the darkness, towards the elf shouting for her. Eltirwen's feet reached the doorway just as the door flew open, making her jump back in shock.

"Eltirwen!" Rumil cried, hoisting himself and a limp figure into the talan. "Make haste, she is in a bad way!"

The healer, however, could already tell the elleth he was holding was in critical condition. At first glance, she could see that Belegwen's face was bruised, her middle bleeding significantly, and the smell of burnt flesh was lingering in the air, making her question whether or not the elleth had been on fire.

"Follow me!" She exclaimed, running towards her healing room as fast as her legs could carry her. Upon entering, she immediately tied her hair back haphazardly, then washed her hands.

"Set her on the bed!" She called back to Rumil as she tried to dry her hands. Her adrenaline was pumping and her hands were shaking slightly from trying to make haste. She struggled to finish quickly, though she knew she needed to.

"What now?" Rumil called back to her, his voice sounding equally anxiety-laden. She glanced over her shoulder at him as she started mixing liquids and herbs in a frenzy to make a poultice.

"Cut the fabric away from the stab wound so I can inspect it!" She cried, pointing with her free hand towards Belegwen's abdomen. She then turned her full attention to her concoction, which was sloshing out of its beaker as she stirred it messily. Behind her, she could hear Rumil ripping the fabric off of her so the wound was visible.

Out of the corner of her eye, Eltirwen spied something amiss from her window. Though time was of the essence, she allowed herself a quick glance, then gasped with disbelief at what she saw. The woods were on fire! She could see red and oranges flames shooting up out of the silvery woods in the distance.

"Rumil, you need to go and wake up the other healers, then sound the alarms! There is a fire out there! Hurry Rumil, there is no more you can do here!" Eltirwen shouted as she began to apply pressure to Belegwen's wound with a clean rag.

Rumil looked confused momentarily, as if he could not decide whether staying or leaving was more important. He started to object, but was cut off by Eltirwen's authoritative voice.

"Go Rumil, now!" She screeched, infuriated that he was not attending to his duty. Rumil stepped away when she shouted at him, took one last quick look at Belegwen, then ran out of the room and down the talan stairway as fast as he could manage.

"Oh no!" Eltirwen moaned as she hurried over to Belegwen, spilling a few drops of the poultice on the floor. As she set the glass beaker on the table next to the bed, she quickly inspected the stab wound. It was a clean cut, right into Belegwen's oblique muscles. Luckily, it seemed to have missed her internal organs, though it was close enough to her ribs that it might have bruised or possibly broken the lower ones. She cleaned off the wound as carefully as she could then went to work applying the poultice.

"You have lost a lot of blood tonight. Oh Belegwen, I told you not to come back here for a while!" She muttered to herself, her large grey eyes filled with worry. She was going to have to watch her carefully tonight; patient's facing this sort of injury could go downhill quickly if left improperly attended.

"Come on Belegwen..." She whispered as she began to bandage her middle with care. "Stay with me."

ooOoo

"Help! All wardens, you are needed! Help!" Upon hearing this, Haldir bolted up in his bed, immediately alert. He cursed, then jumped out of bed.

Grabbing some leggings and tying them quickly, he stumbled to the doorway and burst into the hallway to see what was going on. The hall was filled with frantic wardens, running this was and that. He was nearly knocked down by one warden who banged into his body amid the chaos.

Quickly running down the stairs, Haldir ran right into the ellon who was screaming out the warnings. "Heledhril! What is the meaning of this?!" He shouted, alarmed with the scene playing out before him.

Heledhril, appearing to be in a very bad way, took a second to gasp for breath before answering his Marchwarden. Haldir could tell by the look on his face that something ghastly was happening. "Sir, orcs sir! Hundreds are attacking the northern border! There is a fire in the wood as well!"

Haldir did not need to hear any more. Not bothering to grab a shirt or his sword, he flew down the stairs at a speed unimaginable, pushing elves out of the way as necessary. If a war was being forged at the border of his glorious homeland, he was going to be there to fight it with every last bit of determination he had. Out the door and into the woods he ran, his blonde hair unbraided and flying every which way as he flew through the brush.

The run was a blur which passed quickly. Soon, he could see the blazing trees ahead and was greeted with screams of agony as his wardens were meeting the orcs in a devastating battle. As he entered the pandemonium, he saw an orc crawling across the ground with a sword sticking out of its chest. Without giving it a second thought, he pulled the sword out of the hideous creature and used it to remove its head. Now armed for battle, Haldir jumped into a scuffle immediately, slashing and stabbing at a few orcs who had cornered one of his wardens against a burning mallorn tree.

Looking to his right, he saw a small group of orcs starting to head away from the fire and towards the city. "Not a chance." He growled, running after them. They would not make it to the civilians and his lord and lady. Haldir would never allow such a thing to occur. No innocent elves were going to have to suffer as long as he could prevent it.

The first two orcs in the group were much too slow and were beheaded almost immediately. The other two were a bit more clever though, weaving through the trees, purposefully trying to confuse him. He launched the sword at the farthest one and watched as the impaled orc fell to the ground, unmoving. The last one he pounced on and tackled. The two rolled painfully down a hill and through some tree branches before wrestling one another, each trying to gain the upper hand. Spying a large rock nearby, Haldir rolled over to grab it, then smashed it into the orc's head, stilling his movements immediately.

Gasping for breath and wiping orc blood from his face, Haldir ran back up the hill and retrieved the sword for a second time. He could feel the heat of the flames around him as he looked to the skies. The treetops around him with filled with fire and the large amount of smoke was making it hard for him to see his surroundings.

"No!" He whispered mournfully, in utter disbelief as he saw one of the trees start to lean as though it would fall to the ground. Everything was going to be destroyed!

_"Our home,"_ he thought to himself, shocked to the core at the searing loss he felt within his heart. _"Not our home!"_

The wardens were running amuck around him, still deeply engaged in the chaotic battle. Distantly, he could here the alarms going off in the city over the roaring flames and shouting voices.

It was surreal.

_"Haldir, you must stop the flames."_ The Lady Galadriel whispered in his head, effectively returning him from his shocked state. Suddenly, he regained his focus and called several wardens over to him. They quickly climbed into the less dangerous trees in search of buckets, then took the few they were able to find and went to fill them in the nearby river. Haldir organized the wardens into a line to pass the full buckets to the flaming trees quickly, with runners ready to return each bucket to the riverside to be filled again.

Soon, more buckets turned up with the arrival of additional wardens from the city, each joining a line and attempting to put out the inferno. Once the project was well-underway and the orc danger seemed to have subsided, Haldir quickly joined them. Bucket after bucket of water was given to him to throw onto the persistent flames. His strong arms ached from the weight of the buckets, but onward he pushed himself, knowing the fate of their very homes were at stake.

It seemed like he was working for hours, receiving the heavy buckets and throwing them onto the fire to dull the flames. On and on he went, though their progress was very slow. Smoke filled his lungs, leading to fits of coughing and exhaustion. His body was screaming for him to stop and rest, but he knew in his heart that he could not until the job was done.

Finally, as the very first signs of daylight started to appear, the task had been accomplished and the flames were no more. Heavily fatigued, Haldir fell into a sitting position, propping himself up against a wet mallorn that was scorched and still smoldering above his head. He coughed and sputtered, closing his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again as he struggled to breathe deeply. Smoke was still billowing in the air. Hot and heavy, it draped around him and the remaining wardens like a thick blanket on a winter's night. Inside, Haldir felt nothing but dread. He had been surrounded by death all night long and was filled with sorrow. Evil was filling Arda and it seemed like there would soon be no goodness left within it.

As he looked around, he noticed the wardens around him had finally slowed, many frowning or shedding a tear over what had been lost. Haldir found the scene to be more than he could bear, so he looked away and found his eyes resting on his lap. Idly, he stared down at his bloody hands and the sword that was in them. Suddenly, a look of disbelief crossed his face as he looked over the elven blade with recognition.

The sword he had carried all night was none other than the infamous Nimrodel.

"Belegwen!"


	17. Carrying On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I hope you enjoy the latest chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or The Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 17: Carrying On

Haldir stood up and began to search around the smoldering trees for any sign of Belegwen. The ground was littered with the bodies of orcs, but he could not find any sign of her anywhere. Thinking back to the battle, he realized he had not seen her during the pandemonium or their efforts to put out the flames. This worried him immensely, for Belegwen had been assigned to this border and was not the sort of elleth who would run from danger. He knew that if she was able, she would be out there with everyone else, slaying orcs with ferocity and extinguishing the fire.

Haldir also knew she would not have just left Nimrodel sticking out of some orc. The sword meant too much to her; it was a gift from the lord and lady of Lorien. Belegwen had never treated that blade with anything other than care and it was always with her, wherever she went.

Many questions now lingered in Haldir's mind as he started to run towards the city. What had happened to her? Was she injured somewhere? If so, why had he not seen her body on the ground by where he had found the sword? Haldir eyes were quite keen when it came to details and he felt certain that he would have remembered seeing her if she had part of the skirmish.

As Haldir came to the edge of the woods and entered the city once more, he squinted his eyes to try and make out what was happening through the thick clouds of smoke that were hanging low, like a dark mist, all throughout Caras Galadhon and the surrounding forest. There was a disturbing silence filling the city; not even a bird was chirping in the gloomy aftermath. Nevertheless, he could make out the shadows of several elves waiting in what appeared to be an irregularly shaped line.

 _"What is the meaning of this?"_ He wondered as he approached the scene. He nearly gasped as he finally got close enough to see what it was: a very lengthy line leading to the healer's telain.

Most of the Eldar within the line were wardens, ellyn he recognized from his many millennia of service. Some of the wardens had their wives by their sides, holding them close with a desperation Haldir had rarely seen in public. Many of the ellyth were weeping, while others were trying to comfort their husbands who were in great pain from their battle wounds. There were even a few elflings scattered about, though they made none of their usual noise, as if sensing the tension and mood that surrounded them. Indeed, there was a somber mood amongst those who were waiting.

Upon a closer inspection of the area, Haldir could tell that there were too many injuries for the healers to handle. The talans seemed to be full of people and there were many more who needed to be brought in. A few of the less experienced healers were out weaving through the line, assisting those who had minor injuries to the best of their ability.

Feeling frustrated, Haldir sighed. If Belegwen was in one of these, he would never be able to find her. There was no room for any extra people in the healing telain currently.

Haldir could not help but notice though that Eltirwen's talan seemed to have no signs of life coming out of it at all. _"How odd..."_ He thought to himself as he headed out towards it, breaking into a soundless jog. Upon his arrival at the base of the tree, he came face to face with a sign written with rushed Elvish characters. It read 'Do Not Disturb.'

 _"Could this mean-"_ Then, without wasting another thought, Haldir chose to totally ignored the sign and climbed up the stairs quickly. Eltirwen was used to him disregarding her rules anyway; she would not mind too much.

He had been expecting Eltirwen to jump out and yell at him upon his arrival, but was surprised when this norm did not occur. Silently, he opened the door and gingerly entered the talan. It was completely dark and there were no signs of Eltirwen or any other elves. An eerie breeze was blowing through the open part of the talan, rustling some loose papers that were scattered around on Eltirwen's desk sloppily. Slowly, Haldir snuck through the room, being careful not to disturb anything and started down the hallway, continuing his search.

The sickening aroma of stale blood hit him immediately as he turned the corner. His foot hit something soft that let out a tiny crunching sound. Haldir looked down to see a messy pile of clothing that was encrusted with deep purple blood. Scrunching his nose with disgust, he easily stepped over the mess and continued down the hallway, glancing into empty rooms as he came upon them.

Finally, he noticed a soft glow coming from one on the left, the second room from the end. Cautiously, he leaned forward and glanced in. There was Eltirwen, her back turned to him, leaning over a petite, limp body that was laying lifelessly upon a bed.

Belegwen.

This is what he had been fearing all along. Once again in a state of shock, Haldir ambled over to the her bed, looking down at her with large, anxious eyes. She was so pale in the grey morning light, her face an ashen shade that he had seen on those who had passed into the Halls of Mandos. Inside, his mind was screaming, hoping his innitial assumption was incorrect.

Gradually, his eyes moved to Eltirwen. She appeared quite weary, almost as if her many long years had finally caught up to her. He could see her hand clutching Belegwen's limp one and hear the soft whispered words she was directing to the body. She was wielding the mystical power of the elves to try and heal Belegwen. If she had noticed his entrance, she had not acknowledged it.

Not knowing what else to do, Haldir seated himself in a nearby chair, pulling it up to the other side of Belegwen. Tentatively, he took her icy hand between both of his. His head bowed slightly as he started to gently caress her hand between his, barely touching her in fear of causing her pain. Tears were now threatening to fall down his face, as he felt down her wrist for a pulse. There was the littlest one there, which made him feel relief for a brief second before he mentally started to question how long it would last.

Haldir had been unfortunate enough to have seen many elves in this state; she was dying, from what he could tell. For a short while, he sat there listening to Eltirwen try to convince her to stay. Sadness filled him as he realized that he had come to care about her over the last few weeks and was not ready to say goodbye to her or face another unnatural death. Was there no goodness left to be had in the world?

Soon, he too joined Eltirwen's pleas with a soft, begging voice. "Belegwen, it is not your time to go to Mandos. You are still needed here in Lothlorien. Please return to the light."

He paused when he no longer heard Eltirwen's voice whispering along with him. He looked up to find her staring at him, perplexed at the sight of his hand entwined with Belegwen's.

"You are not supposed to be here." Eltirwen stated in a resigned voice. She was oddly calm, as if feeling too tired to argue with him on this occasion.

"I know." He stated, not really knowing what else he could say. "Is Belegwen going to survive this?"

"I know not. She has made little progress throughout the night. Unless she starts to improve soon, I fear she will not last past the end of this day." She whispered softly as tears welled up in her grey eyes.

"I see." Haldir stated gravely, looking back down at Belegwen's unmoving face. "Is there nothing more you can do?"

"No, I have done all I can. The rest is up to her." Eltirwen said, shaking her head with sadness at the thought of losing her.

A long period of silence ensued in the talan. Both elves stared down at Belegwen, watching for movement or improved signs of life. Haldir stared into her eyes and saw that the azure orbs had lost their shine and luster. Now they were just there, open as if she was simply sleeping, though Haldir knew better than that.

"The other healers are being overwhelmed out there." Haldir stated as he remembered what he had witnessed. "They could use your help right now. I could..." He started to suggest, but then his words trailed off into nothingness, fearing that Eltirwen would not allow him to assist her in this way.

"Do they now?" She murmured, a sense of duty suddenly appearing in her eyes. "You would watch her for me?" She asked with a muffled voice as she looked out the window towards the great crowds outside of the other healing telain.

"Yes, I would." He replied, hoping to help the situation in any way he could.

"Very well then," she said softly, gently pushing some of her stray brunette hairs out of her face and placing them behind her pointed ear. "You must find me and alert me if anything happens... and I mean anything." She stated firmly, then after seeing him acknowledge this with a nod, hustled out the door. Haldir listened as he heard her exit the talan and make her way down the stairs.

"Belegwen." He murmured softly, his full attention now on her. "It is not your time to leave. We all need you here. Please..." Repeatedly, he said this to her, whispering it into her ear softly as he gently cradled her hand within his own.

There were so many feelings going through his head. Being here with her like this was bringing back all of his previous wonderments. Did he have feelings for her other than friendship? Was this why he felt such pain inside from seeing her like this? He knew that half a year ago this would not have meant much to him. He would have simply paid his respects with the sadness of knowing that another immortal life had been sapped away too soon. The feeling would not have lingered for too long though, for she had not been close to him in those days.

Now, however, she had gained significant importance within his own life. Belegwen had understood what he was going through with his brother's death while many others had not.

"Please Belegwen, it was hard enough losing Orophin! I do not wish to lose you too." He cried out softly, holding her hand more tightly now, as if doing so would prevent her from being able to pass on. "I cannot take all of these unnatural deaths! You were meant to stay here! Do not leave me as Orophin did…" He begged, a tear falling down his face as he poured his heart out to her. "Please..."

No longer being able to take the pain, he leaned up against her bed and wept. Hope was never on his side. Why did so many bad things happen to him?! "Come back, Belegwen...please...please stay!" He sobbed into the soft linen sheets, squeezing her hand more and more tightly as he became desperate for a miracle.

There were other feelings too. New feelings that he could not explain or express yet. If she left though, he never would get to figure out what they could have been.

What if it was too late?

"Haldir."

Instantaneously, his head snapped upon hearing his name whispered into the silence. There she was, looking at him with her drained eyes. His breath caught in his mouth as he saw her come back to life right before his very eyes in the drab morning light. Her voice was dry and wispy, but it was there and that is what counted!

"Belegwen! Praise be to the Valar!" He whispered, his watery eyes looking to the ceiling with thanks, then looking at her with deep sincerity. He clutched at her pallid hand again, trying to offer her some reassurance. "How do you feel?"

"Horrible," She whispered, lifting her far hand up to his face ever so slowly. He noticed her cringing at the pain. Her eyes squinted as the ache rippled throughout her body.

"Please stop, you are hurting yourself." He stated, wishing she would stay still as she touched his cheek weakly, wiping a few of his tears away with careful ministrations. He did not try to hold her back though, not wanting to risk injuring her further.

"Come here." She bid him, taking his head and bringing it down to her supple chest feebly. Weak after feeling so many emotions, Haldir gave in and allowed her to stroke his hair while he cried. He could feel her fingers combing through his locks in a frail manner. The now somewhat steady rise and fall of her chest comforted him as he knew she had taken a turn for the better. However, he could feel her freezing skin through the sheer sheet that separated them; her shivers were worrying him greatly.

"Are you sure you will live? You are so cold." He asked airily, so lowly that it was not even quite a whisper. "You have scared me badly tonight." He stated, blinking the tears from his eyes.

"I shall carry on Haldir." She said, her hand coming to rest on his head as she slowly drifted back to sleep.


	18. 'It'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks goes out to Queen_Lightwood for her comment! I hope everyone's enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: I am not associated with Tolkien Enterprises, nor do I claim ownership to Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 18: 'It'

Sitting up against the mallorn that housed an all too familiar healing talan, Haldir silently watched the smoke wafting into the clouds above him. His mind was racing; he knew he should be thinking about how they were going to clean up the mess of dead bodies and trees, but his thoughts kept slipping away to other places.

It was Belegwen; he could not seem to stop thinking about her. He had feared for her life so greatly a couple hours ago, but grace had allowed her to come out of her lifeless state and back into the world of the living. Haldir had never felt such a great wave of relief as he had upon seeing her eyes moving once more. Internally, he rejoiced knowing that breath was still filling her lungs, bringing life into she who had been seemingly lost.

Her waking moments with him had been very brief before sleep overtook her once again. Rather than feeling any concern for herself, she had been worried about him! Haldir could scarcely believe how selflessly she had acted, coming back from the brink of death only to reassure him rather than the other way around. It made no sense to him that she would care for him when she was hurting so badly, but indeed she had. Haldir had gladly accepted the comfort too, grateful for the Valar brining her back from the brink of death to live once more.

After speaking with him for a spell, Belegwen had quickly drifted back to sleep. True to his word, he had crept out and alerted Eltirwen of the occurrence when he felt confident that she was indeed just asleep. Immediately, Eltirwen had snapped into her normal, bossy self and ran up to check on her. When Haldir had followed, she proceeded to shoo him out, not wanting him to be in the way of her work.

Haldir lingered at the healing talan, hoping to get the chance to go back in and see her once more. The pathway in front of him had a much more relaxed feeling now, as most of the wardens who had been taken care of. No longer was there a great line of wardens outside of the healer's telain. However, there were ellyn still laying on the ground in makeshift beds. They were being treated there because full occupancy had been reached within the healer's talans. They would be placed somewhere soon though. Haldir knew the situation was being addressed as quickly as possible.

There were other situations that would soon need tending to on his part. In the forest, there were dead corpses strewn about the entire Northern border. Most of the deceased were orcs, though there were also a few Eldarin casualties. This saddened Haldir to no end. What would become of their families as they were riddled with the grief he understood all too well?

The smell was starting to drift through the forest and into Caras Galadhon. The orcs would need to be burned and the other bodies buried. Plus, the dead trees would need to be disposed of and new talans would have to be built into different mellyrn that had survived, for most of the ones they used previously had been scorched by the inferno.

For now though, Haldir needed to sit and wait on Eltirwen. To occupy his time, he found himself cleaning off the sword he had battled with during the long night. Nimrodel had served him well on the previous night and he hoped to return the sword to Belegwen when he was next allowed to see her.

He did hope he could see her again soon; he could not seem to stop worrying about her. She had appeared to be so pale when he had last seen her. Her skin was normally quite fair, but it was not meant to be a pallid white. Her eyes too, had not shimmered with their usual determination. Even Belegwen's hair had been dull, having lost its silvery luster.

Would she make it? Haldir knew not. He sighed with this realization. Gracefully, he sprang up from the base of the tree onto his feet, holding the cleaned sword carefully with his fingers. He would have to check on her before he could go about doing anything else. It was time to try and enter once again.

It took him but a brief moment to walk up the stairway that led to the entrance of the healer's talan. He opened the door and entered the dark room again, which was still a mess with papers flying every which way on the desk, scattering themselves about as the wind blew them around the room.

Haldir totally ignored this, however, and started down the hallway. Just as he was about to enter the room, a tired healer suddenly popped into his way from inside of the room. "You are just the elf I am needing..." Stated a disheveled-looking Eltirwen. Her hair was falling out of its braid, pieces streaming down her face in disarray. Haldir noticed that she was still in her pajamas, which were now bloodstained from the work she had been doing. Was this truly the respectable Eltirwen that he enjoyed annoying to no end?

"There are wardens laying on the ground outside that we healers have already tended to. I need you to bring them up here and put them in the rooms." She ordered him quietly, then quickly went back into the room to finish what she was doing.

Haldir stood there for only a few seconds before going and doing as he was told. One by one, he carried them all up the stairway and placed them on the beds that were in each room. His arms began to ache again from carrying so much dead weight after the water carrying he had done the previous night. The wardens were quite grateful though, for their makeshift beds in the soil had been rather uncomfortable. After being thanked by them for it, he did not feel as fatigued and was in better spirits.

The gray skies, however, stayed put as if they did not wish to let any sunlight shine through the dreary clouds. The sky was filled with a murky, melancholy light. Haldir longed for the fresh air and warm sunrays of yesterday as he climbed up the stairs with the final injured warden from outside. Once the ellon was settled into his temporary bed, he headed back down the hall to Belegwen's room, only to be stopped by Eltirwen again.

"Are you finished?" She questioned, sounding terribly weary. One of her hands rested on the side of the door and the other hung down at her side limply. Then, suddenly, the healer in her burst into life again as she gasped at him. "You have not been taken care of yet! And here I had you doing errands with that shoulder!" She exclaimed, hustling him into Belegwen's room before he could react.

He glanced down at his shoulder for the first time and wrinkled his nose with disgust. Haldir had not noticed that he had been slashed with a weapon during the battle. When had this happened?

No wonder his shoulder had hurt so badly while carrying those wardens up the stairs.

Eltirwen rushed over with a homemade antiseptic and a bowl of warm water, complete with a rag in it. Haldir cringed inwardly as she wiped away the dried blood that was encrusted on top of his wound. Nevertheless, he managed to keep a straight face through the whole thing, refusing to show any pain on his face.

"How is she doing?" He asked as she poured antiseptic into his injury, assuming Eltirwen would know of whom he spoke.

"Better," she muttered as she busied herself with analyzing the severity of the slash on his shoulder. "She is still going to need some time off of work though." She stated firmly, already knowing he would try to get her out early.

Eltirwen then got up off of her small wooden stool, walked over to the cabinets on the far side of the room and proceeded to rummage through them for something. Haldir's eyes drifted away from her to Belegwen, lying in her bed. He could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept, proving she was still there. It was quite a relief to know that she was doing a bit better, though he was still not really sure why he felt thusly.

 _"Whatever that feeling was, I must have just imagined it."_ Haldir thought to himself as Eltirwen returned with a needle and started to stitch him up.

"Looks like you are going to have another battle scar, mister tough elf." She stated sarcastically as she stitched. Obviously she was not too badly off, otherwise she would not have her sense of humor.

Finally, the annoying pricking ceased as Eltirwen bandaged him up. "Was that the only one?" She questioned, not really directing it towards him though. She circled around him a couple of times before deeming him good to go.

Then, she surprised him with a new request. "Wait. Haldir, will you watch over these wardens for a little while so I can clean up a bit?" She inquired, looking him straight in the eyes, awaiting an answer.

Haldir found himself unable to say no. Eltirwen had done so much for him, his wardens, and his elleth in the last night that he found he could not refuse.

Wait a second... _His elleth?!_

Haldir's confusion slapped him in the face yet again as Eltirwen exited, saying something about being in the Northern bathhouse in case he needed her. He paid her no heed though as his thoughts had already went back to Belegwen.

What was he going to do about this? No matter how much denied it, 'it' was still there! He was not even sure of what 'it' really was though. All he knew was that he was feeling more concern than was normal over his second in command. What was happening to him?!

Still mystified over this, Haldir grabbed up Eltirwen's stool and set it down by Belegwen's sleeping body. It was there he sat and began to inspect the damage that was inflicted upon her. Not wishing to look as if he had bad intentions, he chose not lift her blanket. One of her small feet was bandaged though; he could tell because of the size difference. He could make out a few purplish bruises on her fair shoulders, which were not covered by the blanket.

Surely these things were not life threatening though. What else could be wrong with her?

He wished he knew so that perhaps he could do something for her. When she awakened from her slumber, he would have to inquire about what had happened the past night.

He stared at Belegwen's limp body and watched her only movements, the rise and fall of her chest. Gently, he placed his hand in her drab hair and stroked it soothingly. She did not react to it at all, her ashen features remaining still. In a way, this was a relief to him. He did not wish for her to know about whatever this was between them. At least, not yet... Not until he understood it.

Whatever 'it' happened to be.


	19. Fresh Air

Disclaimer: I am not associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 19: Fresh Air

Belegwen sighed as she awoke to the same dull scenery of the healer's room again. Though she was still quite weak, she desired more than anything to be outside. However, she had to make do with looking out through the room's terrace while brooding over her condition.

_"I should be out there with everyone else helping cleanup."_ She thought as a look of guilt passed over her face. Yesterday, she woke up for the first time in four days and heard about the tragic events which had unfolded that fateful night. In a way, Belegwen felt she was to blame, for she felt she not done a great job at commanding. Eltirwen had seen her guilt and tried to reassure her that it was not so. Nevertheless, Belegwen still wished she could have done more.

Again, she tipped her head towards the terrace. The see-through curtains, which were pushed to the sides, had slightly greyed in color, having been kissed with the smoke that had wafted through Lothlorien for multiple days now. With her sharp sapphire eyes and the lofty position of the talan, she could see the through the thick, healthy wood all the way into some of the burned areas. Several wardens were there, all working on cleaning up the forest. She laid there and watched as they worked on chopping down a blackened tree.

"How sad," she murmured, wondering how many trees would be gone by the time she got out of the healer's talan. In all of Arda, the great mellyrn were only found in one place: Lothlorien. Belegwen could not bear the thought of the exotically beautiful trees dying out. They were an important part of her home and the world of the elves.

A small smile touched the edges of her mouth as she watched one of the younger wardens pretend to saw down a scorched tree with his sword. Immediately, he was reprimanded by the warden who was in charge of the area.

_"Hmm...I wonder why Haldir is not out there."_ She thought to herself as she continued to watch the action. _"He was out there yesterday."_

If only she could go outside. Groaning, she attempted to roll onto her side a bit for a better view, only to have pain shoot through her middle. Cringing, she fell back to where she had been, her eyes closing, then opening partially again as she regained her bearings. She turned her head back to the terrace in time to see the singed tree fall as the group of wardens gracefully avoided its path. It made a loud lurching noise, then hit the ground with a crash that she could almost feel.

Belegwen now sensed the presence of another in the room. Carefully, she twisted her head and neck in the other direction to find out who had come. "Marchwarden!" She gasped with surprise, her voice sounding raw to her ears. "What brings you here?"

Haldir did not acknowledge her question though. Instead, he stood there for a few seconds, staring at her. His fair face was devoid of all emotions, leaving her with nothing to read, as usual. Belegwen could not help but wonder what was going through his head as he gazed at her. He was so mysterious at times.

Grabbing a nearby stool, he pulled it up to the bed and sat down beside her silently. "How are you?" He finally asked, his voice disturbingly soft. She then became aware of his hand settling upon her exposed wrist, touching it tentatively, as if uncertain of whether or not it was okay to touch her.

"Weary," she murmured, "but better than before." Belegwen met his gaze and held it. When his blue eyes were met with her shimmering ones, they both held an intense gaze while trying to figure out the mysterious feeling that lingered between them. No words were spoken, but both knew that something was occurring between them.

Something unusual.

Something _wonderful_.

Finally, Belegwen broke the stare, closing her eyes to rest them for a few moments. When she opened them, Haldir was no longer looking at her, but had turned to see what was going on outside over the terrace.

"What keeps you from being out there?" She muttered tiredly as she tried to regain her bearings again. It seemed that she could not do anything without feeling tired right now. Belegwen frowned because it upset her deeply, feeling helpless like this.

"I am helping Eltirwen. She needed someone to watch you and the other wardens while she attends to some errands." He stated gently, watching her closely. The look on his face made Belegwen wonder if he could tell she was struggling at the moment.

"How kind of you." Belegwen whispered. "How has the cleanup been going?"

"It is well. The bodies have been taken care of at this point. We are now taking down trees and pilling them up to burn. It is a rather miserable sight to behold though." He said, sliding his fingers down to her own and giving her hand a little squeeze.

The two became silent again. Belegwen looked around the room again. How odd it was that she could feel so tired and cooped up all at once. She felt the room was somewhat dark and dreary in its own little way and she longed to get out of it. The air filling the room was musty and stale, not enjoyable like the cool breezes of the outdoors.

"Haldir?" She questioned now, gathering her courage to ask a large favor of him. His gleaming eyes fell upon her face once more as he listened to her request. "Would it be too much to ask if you would take me outside?"

ooOoo

Her eyes were so clear at that moment, so sincere. Haldir was slightly startled by her request, but found himself unable to say no. However, when he went about attempting to lift her, he was unsure of how to do it without hurting her. "I am not sure if Eltirwen would approve of this Belegwen." He stated, looking down at her.

"Have you ever let that stop you before?" She questioned airily, raising an eyebrow weakly. Not being able to argue, he wrapped his arms around her and the mess of sheets surrounding her as carefully as possible and lifted her up easily.

He nearly dropped her back down when she gasped. He looked her straight in the eyes, questioning. However, she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck lightly, her head leaned up against his shoulder. Though not really satisfied with the lack of answer, Haldir gracefully walked down the hallway and opened the door.

Immediately, the cool breeze hit them and Haldir looked down at her. She had not moved at all, but a smile was now gracing her soft pink lips as open eyes looked into the horizon soundlessly. Carefully, he carried her around the veranda until they were at a spot where nobody would see them, for he was just now realizing that she was only dressed in a few shear sheets.

Smoothly, he found a seat on the floor of the terrace, maneuvering her into a resting position in his lap. "Comfortable?" He asked softly.

She nodded against his chest, her silvery locks blowing softly with the breezes. They were so close that he could feel her breathing, the rise and fall of her chest comforting him. In the daylight, he noticed that some of her natural coloring had returned, her skin looking much less ashen than it had a few days ago. She was recovering nicely and seemed a lot less likely to pass now, which deeply relieved Haldir.

Why did he feel this way about her though? He hardly knew her and she was one of his wardens, but something new was lingering between the two and he could not decipher what he should do about it.

Confused, and fighting his own mental battle, Haldir watched as Belegwen turned her eyes back to him, the large azure orbs looking into his own of the same color. He felt her soft movement as her mouth came close to his ear, her soft warm breath against it. "Thank you," she murmured faintly, "I have longed to be out here for the last few hours."

He now nodded, not being able to find any words to describe exactly what he was feeling at the moment. Was this simply a dream? She looked as if she could have been from a dream, dressed in the silky white sheets that she held up against her chest with a single hand. The sheets blew a bit too, exposing a small portion of her legs every once in a while, then covering them back up as if teasing him.

He felt his body shiver as emotions built up within him. Emotions he did not understand. Suddenly, Haldir knew he was crying; he could feel the warm tears rolling down his cheeks, yet he did not care. She had lived, surpassing everyone's expectations. For the first time, someone he cared for had made it.

"You are still here." He murmured, stating the obvious, but still needing to hear it out loud.

An unanticipated cold hand touched his cheek, brushing the tears away gently. "I thought for sure you were gone when I saw you the other day." He mumbled, staring mindlessly down at her body, trying to avoid her kindly eyes.

"Do not fret over me, for I am still here." She whispered, then her lips covered his own, filling his body with a warmth that he had never felt before.

Soft were her kisses, gentle but intense with emotion. "My lady," he muttered, pulling her even closer, enjoying feeling her pressed gently against him. Her arms wrapped around him tenderly as they continued in a state of bliss.

Finally, he pulled away from her to catch his breath. "I must get you in before Eltirwen returns or she will have my head." He stated, regretting looking back into her sad eyes that were quite obviously wishing for more.

He felt the same way and he longed to say it too. Yet, he could not find the power to as he lifted her gently back up, getting to his feet slowly to try and prevent her from pain. He could not say it, could not admit out loud that he felt this way about a warden. It was breaking the rules and he was already embarrassed that he had seemingly lost control of himself in her presence. Even if she had started it, he had been an equal participant. What would the other wardens think of him if they found out?

Carefully, Haldir brought Belegwen back into her room and settled her back into her bed. Eltirwen had arrived shortly afterwards. Not another word was spoken between them after they reentered the talan. Neither even looked at the other. The pain lingered inside of him, as what he felt had not been stated aloud, as it should have been. It was left to be admitted another day. But Haldir knew that when the new day came, he would choose to wait again. And again.

So, when Eltirwen came bustling in to relieve him, he simply walked out.

However, what Haldir failed to see was the tear that rolled out of Belegwen's fair eye as he turned and walked away.


	20. Misconception

Disclaimer: I am not associated in any way with Tolkien Enterprises, nor do I own anything having to do with Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 20: Misconception

In the healer's bed sat Belegwen, propped up against a large headboard that was lined with feathery pillows. She had been there for three weeks now, longer than she had ever had to stay in the past. An incessant ache from her middle was still bothering her though, which meant she needed to be watched by Eltirwen to ensure it would heal properly.

Entranced with the work she saw the wardens doing, she gazed through the terrace longingly. If only she could be out there with them, helping, rather than spending day after day in the healer's talan. Never had she felt as useless as she did at the current moment. She watched her fellow wardens work as the last of the scorched trees were chopped down to repair the forest. Soon, new ones would be planted to start healing their land.

Unlike all of her other days here, today Eltirwen had helped Belegwen get fully dressed, though she was not yet sure why and Eltirwen had refused to say, though her twinkling eyes had hinted at some sort of a surprise. Regardless of the reason, it was a comfort to be wearing her guard uniform again, so Belegwen did not inquire about it.

Sighing, her attention turned back to her warm bowl of porridge, which was resting untouched in a small bowl on her lap. The steam softly rolled of the tan mush, caressing her face gently, just as his hands had a mere week ago.

"Not again," she murmured, silently chastising herself. Belegwen had told herself over and over again to stop thinking about that. Perhaps if she ignored the unsightly situation, it would simply go away. Unfortunately, it was not that easy. It had happened, her brain seemed to remind her ceaselessly and she could not escape the pain.

Haldir had not said anything to her after she had kissed him. The marchwarden had participated in the affection, but had it been willingly? There had been no affirmation of affection or acknowledgement of what had passed between them, which deeply scared Belegwen. Did he now think her unworthy or even worse, lacking in honor?

_"What a fix I am in,"_ she thought to herself, wiping a single tear from her cheek to try and remain somewhat dignified. Above all else, Belegwen did not wish to see Eltirwen, or anybody else for that matter, while she was suffering in this way. Explaining this would be an awful feat in which every witness would see exactly how weak she was and that was the last thing Belegwen wanted.

A moment later her nightmare came true, as she heard footsteps coming towards her and then watched as Lord Celeborn entered into her room. Standing in the doorway, he smiled at her and said, "Greetings Marchwarden Belegwen."

Silently he walked up to her, seating himself in the chair next to her bed. "How are you fairing today?" He asked, looking her over slightly as he inquired.

"I am much improved of late. My stab wound is still causing me some pain, but I am making good progress with healing otherwise." She stated, softly clearing her throat after hearing how raspy her voice was. "How are you and the lady fairing?" She then asked, extending him the same courtesy.

"We are both well." He affirmed. "The lady is out seeing how the cleanup is coming today. Slowly, all seems to be returning to normality here in Caras Galadhon."

Belegwen nodded slowly. "It gladdens me to hear it, my lord."

"Enough with the pleasantries." He stated as he stood up. "I have come today to escort you on an abbreviated walk through the city. Eltirwen thinks you need to get out a bit to find out if your strength has returned. She has said that if you handle this, she will dismiss you from the healer's talan within a few days."

Belegwen listened to his offer, then looked down at her legs. Her burnt foot was still bandaged and it hurt a bit as she tried to flex it. She sighed, then replied, "I shall try my lord."

Unhurriedly, she rotated her feet so that they hung off the edge of the bed and gently lowered them to the floor. It felt rather awkward after laying down for so long without walking. Would her feet still hold her up steadily after being unused for so long?

"You will not need your boots; we shall stay on the paved paths." The Lord Celeborn stated helpfully. Belegwen had not even thought about putting her shoes on before he had stated that, but she definitely did not like the idea of squeezing her burnt foot into her narrow boot.

Lord Celeborn then reached out and offered her a helping hand, which she hesitantly took with her own. His strong arm tugged her up before she could do it herself. Her legs immediately shook and she nearly fell over. However, Celeborn secured one of his arms around her waist and held her up kindly.

"It has been awhile, has it not?" He chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood a bit as she was visibly embarrassed. Her cheeks were flaming red as she attempted to regain her balance.

After a few long seconds of teetering from side to side, she finally gained her balance and stood there as calmly as possible. Her legs were feeling as flimsy as a bush blowing in the breeze, but she was not ready to give up on walking just yet.

"Okay, my lord, let us attempt this." She stated, putting one feeble foot in front of the other rather slowly.

Though she was progressing slowly at first, after a quick stumble on the stairway, she seemed to be making some improvement. With the ever-vigilant lord at her side, Belegwen walked up the path slowly towards the center of Caras Galadhon.

Though one could not see the any clouds in the sky, it was still a gray day. However, it was extremely bright for such a day and Belegwen found herself squinting to see where she was going. The wind wasn't exactly helping her either, as it kept blowing her unbraided silvery tresses into her face.

Finally, Lord Celeborn spoke up unexpectedly. "Something ails your mind Belegwen. Do you wish to speak of it?"

When she did not reply, he continued, "I may not have the abilities of my wife, but I am not naïve to the emotions of others. Is there something that troubles your heart?"

"Perhaps." She stated sullenly, thinking about Haldir and how he had not returned her affections. "I would rather not speak of it, Lord Celeborn." She said, suddenly becoming extremely interested with the path they strolled upon.

Belegwen then heard him sigh. She looked over to see him brushing his own hair out of his face with his unoccupied hand. "Very well then, Belegwen. Just remember that the lady and I care for you and wish to be here for your every need. All you must do is ask."

"Yes, I know it well. Thank you for that." She replied, feeling utter gratitude towards the couple that had done so much for her. Belegwen looked towards him and forced herself to smile, as she could tell he was concerned about her well-being. He seemed to accept this and they continued walking in silence again.

Taking a moment to simply appreciate being outdoors, Belegwen found herself looking towards the cleanup as they continued their leisurely stroll. She could see in the distance a large pile of scorched trees the wardens had made. They would be burnt in the near future to make room for new trees.

Other than the pile, there did not appear to be any lingering traces of the battle that had taken place there three weeks past. Belegwen was glad to see that the mess was almost gone so that the city could find peace and normality once again.

Celeborn must have noticed what she was gazing at, for he commented, "I see you are eager to go and help them. By the looks of it, you will be working alongside Haldir in no time at all."

Somehow, that was not a very comforting thought.

"What about me?" Said a stern voice from behind the pair. Belegwen carefully turned around to see none other than the Marchwarden himself behind them. Celeborn followed her around, turning slowly to ensure that she was balanced, then acknowledged the bow Haldir bestowed to him when their eyes met.

"Greetings Marchwarden," Lord Celeborn said with a polite smile. "We were just talking about the work you and the wardens are completing out there. Marchwarden Belegwen shall be rejoining you in just a few short days and is eager to get involved with restoring the forest."

Haldir did not smile at her, nor did he seem to show any sentiments towards her at all. "I shall find her work when it is time and then we shall resume our training." He stated solemnly, nodding to Celeborn in agreement.

Haldir then turned to Belegwen and said, "I shall send you up a few books to read until then, since you seem better now." Then, he gave Lord Celeborn another low bow and headed towards the wardens who were working in the forest.

Thoroughly upset with Haldir, Belegwen found that she could no longer tolerate the lord's company. "I wish to go back now, my lord." She stated firmly, and he complied. The whole way back though, she felt his eyes on her, studying her face and emotions, trying to figure out what was wrong.

It was the look of an adar. Even after more than 3,000 years, Lord Celeborn could not seem to shut of this side of himself to her. To him, she would always be his ward. When the two had made it back into the healer's talan, he stated, "Get your rest, my dearest Belegwen. You will need it. Do not let Haldir's strict personality bring you down. All will turn out well with your training, I promise."

As Lord Celeborn exited the room though Belegwen could only weep, as Haldir had not acted like anything had come to pass between them. All was not well.


	21. Intimidation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 21: Intimidation

Though it was not entirely unexpected, Belegwen still found herself rather annoyed when she was woken up with a rough and thorough shaking from the Marchwarden. Instantly, her eyes became aware of her surroundings and she quickly made sure the sheet was covering her body securely before gazing grouchily at the retreating figure.

Rather annoyed at his lack of concern for her privacy, she found herself feeling quite exasperated with him as she commanded her body to get out of bed. Again, her warden uniform was set beside her bed, clean and folded, ready for her to wear. Belegwen dressed in a fast manner, despite the fact that her body still felt slightly weak.

However, she could not keep a small smile from gracing her lips as she yanked on her boots. At last, she would get to go outside and do something! It was what she had desired for nearly a month now!

Belegwen quickly went up to the curtains blocking the terrace in her room and tore the shades open in a single, fast movement. Bright light immediately cascaded down her face and torso, bringing a glowing brilliance to the whole room. The rays were warm on her face and hands, something she had missed immensely. Nevertheless, she only reveled the silence and beauty of the morning for a few seconds. She had work to do!

Quickly, she put a few messy braids into her hair before she flew soundlessly out the door and found her way into the front room of Eltirwen's talan. Haldir was waiting for her there, a stoic look gracing his face. Not even acknowledging her presence, he quickly turned and started jogging down the talan stairway, expecting her to follow, no doubt.

Narrowing her eyes, Belegwen started to jog after him, hoping that she would be able to match his pace after being in bed for so long. She stopped to take a quick break at the bottom of the stairs, watching as Haldir took off at what he had previously deemed a 'slow run.' Not wishing to be left behind, Belegwen caught up and followed him closely.

A small smile graced her lips as they ran together over the rolling hills and through the golden mellryn. The wind rustled through her hair as she struggled to keep up with the swift ellon ahead of her. It was good to be back, even if it was simply training.

"Look at the progress we have made." She heard him say in a monotone as he quickly pointed to his right side. In the distance, Belegwen could see that all of the burnt trees had been cleared out and now there was a small brigade of wardens planting some new ones to replace what was lost.

Haldir came to a halt in front of the wardens who were working on planting mellyrn very diligently. All of their labor ceased as Haldir approached and all of their eyes flew from him to herself. Belegwen stayed back a few steps, unsure of how the wardens felt about her. She knew they had every right to be infuriated at the weakness she had shown during the battle.

Surprisingly though, when their eyes rested upon her, they all smiled. Belegwen's eyes opened wide as she wondered why they were all staring at her so. Was something about her amiss and they were simply trying to hold in their laughter? What was happening?

"How is this coming along?" Haldir's gruff voice asked, immediately calling Belegwen back to reality. She did not recognize the warden Haldir happened to be addressing, though she could tell that the golden-haired ellon had a high ranking amongst the wardens. He seemed to carry himself as strongly as Haldir did, with a very familiar arrogance about him as well.

"All is well Marchwarden. The task will be completed within the hour sir." He said, showing Haldir the few seedlings that had not been planted yet.

"Very well then, carry on!" Haldir barked, turning and quickly heading away. Belegwen sprinted after him as he quickly resumed his previous pace.

Now gathering a bit of courage, she sped up so that she could run alongside Haldir, rather than behind him. He noticed this immediately and locked eyes with her. Belegwen shivered a little when she looked at his eyes. Today he had such cold eyes, as if they had never seen a day of summer in their life. Once again, Belegwen found herself flabbergasted at his lack of emotions. It could not be good for him to keep his feelings pinned away inside himself, but that was precisely what he was doing.

Quickly breaking the eye contact, Belegwen concentrated on her racing legs and beating heart for a bit. Deep down, she knew that Haldir was still struggling with his brother's death, so she decided not to broach the topic of emotions.

After a while though, her anxiety was overridden by curiosity, and while gasping for air she asked him, "Haldir, why did all of those wardens smile at me? Is something amiss?"

She looked at him expectantly, but he did not make eye contact with her this time. "You proved your loyalty to them on that fateful night by giving away your position to yell out the commands. They recognize that you sacrificed yourself for their welfare and the good of Lothlorien." Haldir said, then softly added, "You have earned their respect."

"Oh," she murmured breathily to herself as they ran up yet another hill. The familiar ache in her legs had returned, but Belegwen challenged it. She had known that training was going to be painful after resting for so long, but she knew if she pushed herself now, she would be happier with the results later.

Instead, she busied herself with thinking about the profound this Haldir had said to her. _"Could it be true?"_ She thought to herself. _"No,"_ she thought as doubts clouded her mind like a storm, _"How could they possibly think highly of me after all that has happened to Lothlorien because of my ignorance?"_

Nevertheless, all evidence seemed to say that Haldir was being truthful. They checked on group after group of wardens during their run and all of them seemed quite pleasant towards her, some even appearing grateful. One warden even whispered his thanks in her ear while Marchwarden Haldir was speaking with the leader of the site. Upon their return into the city of Caras Galadhon, Belegwen was openly smiling with hope in her eyes. What had once seemed impossible was now very possible indeed!

"Stretch." Haldir commanded her as he lifted his puissant arm behind his back gracefully. Belegwen followed his example in silence, feeling pleasantly surprised at what she had seen and heard today from the wardens.

Respect. It had been the biggest obstacle to her success before today and now it seemed as though she had unknowingly conquered the problem. She felt mild disbelief at how easy it had been to prove herself in battle to the wardens. She had never suspected that respect could come so easily.

"We are done training for now. I will meet you at lunch so that we can discuss more strategies for successful border patrols. Are we clear on this?" He questioned, clearly recognizing her mind was somewhere else for the time being.

"Yes sir," she said, then watched him walk away to report their project status to the lord and lady. Slowly, still caught up in her thoughts, Belegwen found herself heading towards the training grounds, her legs still throbbing gently from their excursion.

A little bit of archery practice would surely take her mind off of these things. Quickly, Belegwen armed herself with a bow and arrows from the utility shed, then set off for the sunny field where the targets were.

However, before she could reach her destination, a strong hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the forest effortlessly. Immediately, Belegwen was shoved up against a giant mallorn tree rather violently. Though she struggled, she could not seem to get her arms away from her attacker, who had them pinned above her head. Looking up, she glared into the green eyes that were glowering right back down at her. Then, her breath caught in her throat when she saw who it was.

Erthalion.

Belegwen had seen Erthalion lose his temper in the past and had spent many years trying to avoid him, not wanting to be brought into one of his tirades. It seemed unavoidable now though, as he appeared rather angry with her for some reason. His teeth were gritted harshly as he held her up against the tree, his fingers digging painfully into her wrists.

"Well, here she is, the newest Marchwarden of Lothlorien. The wardens have said many good things about you recently, but I think you have them all deceived." He said connivingly, then leaned in close to her ear and whispered to her with a dangerously low voice, "You do not appear to be at all brave or strong to me."

Belegwen's eyes enlarged with fear as Erthalion pushed her against the tree even harder, bruising her wrists with his iron grip. "They hail you some sort of a hero, but I know better. You are no hero at all, just an elleth who wishes to be someone she is not!" He barked gruffly, his hot breath burning against her cheek as he belittled her. Again, she tried to resist his grip and pull herself away from him, but he was simply too strong.

She shivered and desperately wished that she could get away from him as she felt him come even closer to her face, his lips slightly touching her ear. "You are a nobody and there is nothing of worth that you can offer the wardens. Nothing." He whispered threateningly into her ear.

"Stop it. Let go." Belegwen whimpered, her eyes filled with genuine fear as she waited to see what Erthalion would next do. Was he going to try and hurt her? He was already holding her wrists so tightly that they felt as if they might break underneath the pressure of his forceful hands.

Again, she gasped as she was hurled against the tree with his brute strength, the bark digging into her back through her tunic. "They will realize how worthless you are soon though, mark my words." He growled and then, without warning, Erthalion pushed her one final time and leapt up into the shiny golden trees, no longer visible to her eyes.

Feeling anxious and slightly dizzy, Belegwen slid down the trunk of the tree and fell into a sitting position silently. "Oh no," She choked out softly as tears began to pour out of her eyes uncontrollably. "What am I going to do?"


	22. Reconciliation

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 22: Reconciliation

A small figure sat up against a tall mallorn tree with her head bent down in pain. The shadows of the golden leaves were sliding across her silvery hair, each one moving as the leaves above her blew in the gentle breezes of the forest. Indeed, she was hard to see, her body forming a small ball as her arms drew her legs tightly into her torso. Her greyish-tan tunic helped her blend in with her surroundings. Belegwen had no desire to be found though. At least, not in her current condition.

Wiping her runaway tears off onto her tunic sleeve, Belegwen sat there forlornly for a long time, not moving or making a sound. During this time, a great many thoughts graced her brain. One, however, seemed to stand out the most.

_Haldir_. She could not tell him about this. He would lose his cool if he knew, she was sure of it. Marchwarden Haldir would be mad that she had not handled the situation better. Belegwen had authority over Erthalion and she should have pulled him away and punished him for his behavior immediately.

_"But I could not do that either..."_ She thought dejectedly, looking down at her bruised wrists. _"He was simply to strong for me."_

Yet, getting Haldir involved would also make her reputation take a turn for the worse. She was supposed to be able to do these things for herself. Belegwen needed to be stronger, both mentally and physically, if she was going to successfully become a Marchwarden of Lothlorien.

Slowly, Belegwen pulled herself up from the ground and walked back out into the open, picking up her nearly forgotten bow and arrows. Being in no hurry, she made her way to the far targets silently, walking past a group of laughing wardens who were both practicing and goofing around with one another.

Some things never did change.

Suddenly, Belegwen had no desire to practice her bow anymore. She threw it down along with her arrows and started to run. Through the forest she gracefully flew, silently but swiftly at a very fast pace. Her mind went blank and she simply enjoyed the feel of the soft soil beneath her feet. Nothing else mattered.

Thusly, all of her toils were forgotten for a while, along with everything else.

ooOoo

She was late. Again. How dare she show him up like this. It was disrespectful! Had he not taught her better than this?!

Haldir quietly resumed his finger tapping against the hard wood of the lunch table. His food had lost its luster and was left untouched, as he was now very annoyed. He was sick of her always showing up late. It was like she did not care about their cause, which was an important one.

Finally pushed over his limit, Haldir stormed out of the dining hall and into the blazing heat, determination plastered upon his hardened face. She was going to hear about this one. He was not about to let this insolence continue any longer.

Immediately, he found himself heading towards the training area. Ignoring all of the eyes that followed him, he thundered across the field in search of her. However, she was nowhere to be found. Frustrated, his eyes kept searching for a clue as to her whereabouts.

"Marchwarden, sir?" A voice came from behind him. Haldir turned to see Heledril standing behind him. "Are you looking for Marchwarden Belegwen, sir?"

"Yes." He stated, attempting not to let his anger show outwardly. He had to be in control of himself to do a good job and he planned on doing exactly that.

"Well sir, I saw her run off that way about an hour ago. She was alone sir and I do not know what her destination was." He said with an obvious sense of duty. Though he was young, he was already an admirable ellon and a good warden too. At a time like this, Haldir could not help but wish he had chosen differently for his second. Perhaps Heledril would have taken the responsibility more seriously.

"Very well then, I thank you for your assistance." He stated, then took off through the woods in the direction Heledril had shown him. Surely she would not be too hard to track for one who was as experienced as himself. And once he found her he would make sure that she learned how to be punctual.

Running gracefully, Haldir found himself easily ducking under low-hanging branches and jumping over logs and shrubbery. He sprinted through the forest, looking for any signs of her that might direct him to her current location. Soon, his running took him all the way to the edge of town.

Haldir suddenly stopped and stared out into the distance at a scene that had caught his eye. Up ahead lay the field of burials and there amongst the tall grass and wildflowers was his brother, Rumil, kneeling in a spot that was all too familiar to him.

Immediately, all hostility towards Belegwen was forgotten as Haldir realized that he had pushed something important out of his head for a long while. Too long of a while.

Orophin...

_Rumil_.

Abruptly, the pain returned as if it was still new. In fact, perhaps it was even worse because it was mingled with guilt as well. He had put them out of his mind for the last few weeks, ignoring his problem and pushing forth with his duty as usual.

Why had he done it? It was obvious to him now that he had been stupid, as Rumil quite noticeably needed some sort of consolation. Haldir could not see his face, as his hair was flowing down in front of it, but it was evident that he was not well. Upon closer observation, Haldir could see that his brother was indeed shaking with pain and torment.

Striding forward slowly, Haldir approached his only living relative, stepping lightly as to not beat down the grasses. His head bowed down shamefully, as he knew this would not be easy. He had said things he should not have upon finding out about Orophin's death, not to mention he had not been there for his brother when he needed him the most.

A small tear graced Haldir's eye as he knelt down beside the quivering brother. Rumil did not look up or acknowledge his presence at all though.

For the longest time, the two sat there in silence, staring at the grave of the brother they both missed dearly.

"Rumil, I-" Haldir started to say, then paused as he saw his brother's blue eyes. The cerulean orbs were watered down and encrusted with anguish. "...am sorry." He finished very vulnerably.

Again, everything stilled. One could not hear the trees rustling nor the tireless wind's swishes across the emerald grasses. All seemed to stop as if the tension between the two elves could be sensed by all the creatures in the field.

"I was wrong to say what I did," Haldir stated softly, then dropping his voice down even lower, continued. "I was a fool. Please forgive me Rumil. I know it is not your fault that Orophin passed."

Haldir then awaited an answer from Rumil, whose head had once again dropped down to stare at the ground with a dull interest. Finally, he looked up and stared at Haldir, searching for the sincerity that laid within his cold eyes. "Thank you," he murmured hoarsely, as if he had not spoken in a long amount of time.

Rumil then forced a small smile upon his face and Haldir felt a heavy burden lifted from his back. Both of them then turned their attention back to Orophin's gravesite, the small stone gleaming in the sun's soft light.

"Come Rumil, let us return to Caras Galadhon and speak of him privately. Let me help you get through this. You can help me too, if you wish." He stated, then helped the tall ellon to his feet and they headed towards the city together, as a family.


	23. Surprise Skirmish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Queen_Lightwood for the lovely comment! I hope everyone's enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 23: Surprise Skirmish

The world around Belegwen was still, silent other than the soft scraping sound of her sword being gently pulled from its scabbard. In the small clearing, her body started quickly moving around, her sword slashing at an invisible opponent vigorously with precise actions. Fast was her footwork and her sword gracefully went where it should, the moonlight glowing down on her as she continued her little game.

Soon the hushed world was interrupted by her quick gasping breaths as she continued at an incredible speed, her hair flowing wildly around her, and her mind going completely blank. Having put aside all of her troubles from earlier in the day, she slashed repeatedly at the air, jumping and dodging the enemy as she imagined a fight.

ooOoo

Haldir watched her battle proceed silently, going unnoticed amongst a thick bunch of mallorn leaves. After talking with Rumil and reminiscing about adventures the three brothers had in the days of old, Rumil had fallen asleep, exhausted from his grief. Feeling as though the problem between them had at least began to be resolved, Haldir had left him sleeping in his room to search for Belegwen once again.

Her trail had been easily found once he retraced his steps by the burial grounds and he had tracked her down with an hour to a small clearing on the outskirts of Caras Galadhon. For over an hour now he had sat in a mallorn and observed her, though she was so caught up in her practicing that she had not noticed his presence. On and on she went, not faltering as if it truly were a life and death situation. He admired her spirit, though he was still a bit upset with her for not showing up to his meeting.

Finally, totally spent, he watched her fall to her knees and roughly undo her uniform's grey tunic, revealing her bland black undershirt, which was casually tucked into her lace-up breaches. Quickly and ungracefully, the cloak was thrown in his direction. Thinking rapidly, Haldir darted from his previous hiding area into a different tree. However, her sudden gasp told him that he had not been stealthy enough about the action.

When he looked back down at her from inside of the darkened tree foliage, he saw that she was back in a ready position. Her large blue eyes were gleaming in the moonlight with slight traces of fear in them, though it was not something a casual observer would have recognized in her. Nonetheless, he knew her well and decided not to give up this sudden training opportunity that had just been created.

"Who's there?" she whispered dangerously as she slowly turned around, sword clasped between her small hands tightly. All was silent around them, covered in the blanket of darkness that was night. He could hear the faintest calling of a night bird in the distance, but that was all. Quickly, he jumped into another tree to her left.

She whipped around, having seen the flash of a shadow and heard the slightest rustling of leaves. Haldir knew she was aware that it was not the wind making those noises; she was smarter than that. All of her senses were well attuned to the situation before her. Haldir was not sure how much longer he could keep this up, as she was looking right in his direction.

"Come out, I say!" She commanded firmly, never taking her eyes from the tree that he was situated in. "I know you are there. Show yourself!"

A small smile graced Haldir's face as his hand reached for his clandestine dagger, which was positioned inside of his boot in a small sheath. Now the fun was about to begin.

Being an excellent shot, Haldir quickly aimed the blade for the tiny groove that was at the base of her neck, where her collarbones met, and threw it while at the same time taking advantage of the distraction to inconspicuously dash into a new hiding spot.

However, he had no time to settle in as his own knife came whirling back towards him. He barely had enough time to duck and avoid the knife being thrown at his head. With lightning-fast reflexes, his hand yanked his heavy sword out of its holster and upon seeing a flash of silvery hair, he jumped from the tree and they started to battle each other the moment his feet hit the ground.

Swords clashed simultaneously as the two went at it with all of their might in the small clearing. Haldir led the violent skirmish and she followed, matching him stroke for stroke. Then, he saw a tiny glimmer in her eye and suddenly knew he had lost. A moment later, she proceeded to shove her sword into the soil and gripping the handle, she delivered a hard kick to his stomach, forcing him to stumble backwards.

Taking the lead, she made them go faster, now seemingly testing him, as if she had caught on to his little game. Quickly though, she tired of it and finally smacked his knee with the flat edge of the sword, faster than lightning, and he went down backwards painfully. He gasped as he felt his spine make contact with a root that was sticking up out of the ground.

When he looked up, she was on her knees directly over him, her hair glimmering in the pale moonlight and her sword pointing towards his heart. "Say it," she gasped while trying to catch her breath, though still sounding very firm.

Haldir found himself not ready to give up yet and as he opened his mouth to say it, he deftly grabbed her sword arm and flipped her over so that he was on top of her and started to pull up his sword-

"Say it!" She hissed dangerously, her stealth dagger now at his throat, though he was on top. Haldir stared down at her intense face as she gripped the gleaming blade tensely with her left hand.

"Mercy," he murmured, lifting up both arms in defeat. His eyes were wide with surprise and he was stunned by her quick thinking. She was good with a sword and there was no denying it. Whatever her father had written in his book must have been impressive and would help this warden survive anything she came into contact with.

Dropping his sword to the ground beside them, Haldir found himself putting his hand on the ground above her shoulder and leaning down because he needed a moment to recover after their skirmish, his eyes closing briefly as he felt the dagger against his neck fall away. The two then stared at each other while on the ground in silence, the only sound audible being their deep breathing as they both tried to catch their breath after their skirmish.

ooOoo

His eyes were beautiful. Belegwen had noticed their intensity before many a time, but had never truly appreciated their beauty. His eyes were blue, a dark cerulean that was so deep she feared that if she stared into them for too long, she would drown in their unfathomable depths.

Never before had Belegwen been in such an intimate situation. Haldir was still on top of her after their skirmish, the warmth of his body radiating through her undershirt and giving her the newest sensation of a growing heat from within. She was pinned down to the soft earth, the cool night breezes contrasting with all that she was feeling at the moment. Soft tendrils of his hair tickled her neck gently as her breasts brushed against his chest with every breath she took.

All the pain and confusion suddenly left her mind and she was overtaken by an intense longing that had been lingering between the two of them for a long time. Belegwen had known about it, but she had refused to acknowledge it up until now. Entertaining the fantasy that was playing out in her mind, she gently reached up and caressed his face sweetly with one hand, tucking away a small flyaway behind his ear with care.

There was just something that felt very right about being with Haldir. Belegwen did not quite understand why, but something had united the two in a way that was much deeper than being brother and sister in arms. In all the years of her long life, Belegwen had not even bothered to dream that she could feel this way about an ellon. Courtship and marriage had seemed unobtainable to her because of the life she had chosen to live as a warden. Yet, here he was and Belegwen suddenly found herself wanting everything that she knew she had already forfeited in her life.

Could it be possible that Haldir felt the same way? Judging by the way he was looking at her, she ventured that perhaps he did.

Watching him carefully, Belegwen saw his eyes run slowly up and down her body with silent admiration. At last, his eyes met her own again and stared into the depths of her soul. She felt her jaw quiver as he gently touched the side of her face with his hand, marveling at how tenderly he was touching her and how good it felt. Though he was already very close to her, Belegwen's breath caught in her mouth as he leaned in even further. His eyes were half open and filled with desire for her. When his lips were only a hair's breadth away from her own, he stopped moving and she could feel his hot breath against her face as her whole body tingled with anticipation.

"May I?" He whispered, his lips almost touching hers as he asked permission. Belegwen could imagine nothing she wanted more at the moment and nodded once, trusting him completely. Immediately, his lips were on hers and she felt precisely how passionately he desired her as he kissed her over and over again. Belegwen watched as his emotional walls came down and he showed her how he really felt about her with every touch he bestowed upon her. After a while, their silent kisses gave way to the beginnings of exploration and the couple easily gave into each other's desires. It was what they had both wanted, an unspoken wish that was now being granted.

That night, Eru Iluvatar himself smiled down on them as the two became one underneath the stars.


	24. The Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're now starting the second distinct section of writing--my college years! Whereas I had only seen the LotR movies when I started the fanfic, by this time I had read the books and was a bit more knowledgeable about the fandom. Things to expect include: the storyline will grow more complex, there will be more dialogue between the characters, and the chapters will grow longer. This lasts through chapter 35; the remainder of the story was written in 2020. I hope you enjoy the rest of my tale!

Disclaimer: I still do not own Lord of the Rings…how sad. I would have made a set of movies about the Silmarillion by now if I had.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 24: The Secret

Deep in the heart of the forest, away from all peeping eyes, laid two shadowy figures underneath a silvery mallorn. Trying to get comfortable in the dirt, Belegwen squirmed a bit, drawing herself even nearer to Haldir's body, cuddling against him so closely that she could feel his hot skin against her naked body once more. Her soft, silver hair flowed free from its usual bindings and gleamed as it caught the moonlight every so often, blowing freely in the wind and onto Haldir's arm.

Sliding her hand down his muscular chest, Belegwen marveled at the memory of what had occurred between them tonight. At her age, it was rare to experience something completely new, but she had never experienced what they had done together on this night. She never thought she would either and was still somewhat shocked that it had happened so quickly and unexpectedly.

Oh, how wonderful it had been though! Truly, there was nothing like it! The feelings he had created within her while touching all of her being had been exquisite and powerful. She had reveled in his touch and the closeness of him, her affection for him finally being returned in this most intimate and loving act. No, he had not been able to hide his emotions as he usually did in their moments of bliss, but had poured them out with kisses, generous touches, and heartfelt stares.

Even now that it had ended, Belegwen still felt close to him, as though the two were connected in some way. Indeed, this was how two elves married after saying their vows, but they had taken no vows before Eru Iluvatar, nor had they even vocally admitted their love to one another. Surely that meant they had not bonded with one another, right?

Wondering if Haldir was thinking about the same thing as she, Belegwen gently tipped her head up to look at his face. She frowned at what she saw. He was staring straight upward at the stars, wearing an expression on his face that did not show any sort of joy or warmth from their recent union. In fact, he looked rather perplexed, as if he was trying to work something out in his mind.

Softly, she moved her head forward and kissed his neck tenderly. Feeling his grip around her body tighten, she once again tried to study his face, only to find it unchanged. Trying to draw some sort of reaction out of him, her hand compassionately touched the far side of his face and tilted it towards her. As his blue eyes caught her own and held them, she momentarily forgot what she was trying to do. It was just him and her, together, in this moment forever.

Finally, her lips almost touching his, she murmured, "Haldir, what ails you?" She was amazed when he smiled softly at her and rolled onto his side, kissing her gently once more.

He looked down her body once again with obvious wonder, then back up to her face. There seemed to be a slightly nervous energy about him, a side of him she had never witnessed prior to this night. From what little Belegwen knew of Haldir, she understood that he was a very private ellon who did not like to share his thoughts and emotions with anyone, not even his brothers, from what she had gathered. He had opened up so wonderfully to her tonight though, not with words, but in touch. She desperately hoped that he would not close himself off to her now that the moment was over.

"Nothing ails me," he whispered back, "I was just looking at the stars. I rarely have the time to admire their beauty."

Belegwen chuckled softly. "I know the truth of that statement all too well." Her face got serious then as she continued to look at him and stroke his face. "But I know your thoughts ran deeper than that. Do tell me what is on your mind. Put your trust in me and I shall not let you down."

Haldir studied her face seriously for a few long moments first, as if trying to decide whether or not she truly was trustworthy. Sighing, he made his decision and said, "If you must know, I was thinking about the Ainur and the creation of this world."

She became perplexed and could not stop herself from responding, as she rolled onto her stomach. "What has triggered such interesting thinking at a time like this?"

Propping himself up on one shoulder, he questioned, "Do you not wonder how the world could have turned out differently if one historical event had been different? It is amazing how one seemingly innocent thing can change everything and make things complicated for generations to come."

"How so? What event do you speak of?" Belegwen asked, smiling as his hand softly slid down her back with care.

"I am referring to the song of the Ainur and Melkor's own creative additions. What if Eru Iluvatar had not allowed him to add that which was not part of his great plan to create the world? There would be no evil in the world today and the time of the elves would not have to come to an end here-"

"But we would be out of a job." Belegwen said with a small chuckle, carefully flipping onto her back again to look at the stars. "The world would be a kinder place if it were true."

"If we did not have our jobs though," Haldir started, "We could…" But he did not finish his sentence and both elves became silent. Belegwen knew that what they had just done went against the rules for wardens and was considered socially unacceptable amongst the elves. They had no courtship, nor did they utter any vows to one another. There were no golden wedding bands adorning their fingers. It was unheard of for two elves to come together without having gone through the wedding ceremony, but then again, their situation was not exactly a common one either.

"Belegwen…" Haldir whispered, sitting up and pulling her onto him so that she was sitting upon his lap. He looked straight into her eyes with a seriousness that immediately filled her with dread. "You do realize this must be kept a secret, do you not? If another elf or warden was to find out about this, we would both lose our status as marchwardens, and possibly much more."

A deep, unyielding sadness filled Belegwen. She knew he spoke words of truth, but she did not want to accept it. After all of these years, she had finally found something wonderful, but it was out of her reach. It had to be hidden from the world, as if their affection, or whatever it might be, was a thing of shame. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his, a frown replacing her joyful smile from earlier. "I understand."

Then, without another word, the moment was over. Belegwen got up and started to pull on her breaches, while looking around the lush green foliage for her undershirt and tunic. All the while, she could feel his eyes on her, burning through her very being.

Mentally, she was screaming at herself, _"Why, why did you do this?!"_ This was pointless and now she would never be able to look at him without thinking about the failed relationship between them. Apparently, it was not meant to be. Surely, this was not love! It was not anything at all! It was folly! It was-

But then, there was his voice.

"Belegwen…"

And his arms.

She felt him grab her tightly from behind as she worked her undershirt over her torso, not bothering to tuck it in as she nearly burst into tears from the pain of it all. Belegwen squeezed her eyes shut, clutching her tunic in her arms tightly, not knowing what to do or say or feel. With her head bent down in shame, he held her in silence.

ooOoo

For the first time in his long time, Haldir did not know what to do. Long had he dealt with his wardens and he had learned much from his experiences leading them, but he had very few experiences with romance and none of them had been at this caliber. Like a fish out of water, he did not know how to deal with the situation. Belegwen had obviously gotten the wrong idea of his intentions because she was quite obviously upset and it was eating away at him because it was his fault.

He had wanted the previous moment to last forever: him and her together, naked, tangled in each other's arms in the dirt with the stars shining down upon them. Being with her and allowing her to see his feelings had given him such a feeling of freedom. Freedom, mixed with something else that he did not understand. Even though he did not know what to say, he knew he could not let her leave like this, thinking he had taken advantage of her in some way. That was not what had happened at all.

Somehow, he finally managed to stutter out a few words, all while drawing her even closer to his chest. "Just… just because it must be a secret, it does not mean… it does not mean that it is something I dare not pursue."

Slowly, she turned around in his arms so that she faced him and then grasped the sides of his face with her hands and looked into his eyes, desperately looking for some speck of truth in his words, trying to read him though he doubted his face would give much away to her. Her blue eyes dug into his own with great power and determination though, striving to find exactly what she was looking for. Her lip quivered a bit as she drew away, turning away him, but then turning back with a smile on her face.

"You are sincere." She whispered. A smile touched the corners of his lips as he grabbed her up for a kiss. She returned it with equal ardor, her hands grasping at his face all the while. The two broke apart breathlessly and stared at the other, reveling in their mutual feelings of ardor. Satisfied with their reconciliation, Haldir went off to find his clothes.

He quickly found his breaches, undershirt, and tunic. Making haste, he had them on in no time. He sent a fleeting glance towards Belegwen, simply to make sure that his previous words had been forgiven, only to see something else. As she slid her arms into the sleeves of her tunic, he noticed large bruises on each of her wrists unlike any he had seen before. Surprised at the injury, he walked over to her, grabbed one of her covered arms and pulled the sleeve back for a closer look before she could object.

Silence ensued.

All of the sounds of the forest life slowly crept back into his ears as they both stared at her wrist. He could feel that she was not at ease. Finally, he found himself asking, "Did I do this to you?"

"No, no, you did not hurt me. I-I have simply overexerted myself today with the sword!" She quickly answered, looking at him with uneasy eyes. He feared that this was not the truth, but he dared not pursue the subject any longer, as she looked rather uneasy. Had he done that to her during the throws of pleasure? He did not remember holding her by the wrists, but everything had happened so quickly that he was not certain that he had not either. Deciding that it must have been him, he silently promised himself to be more careful with her next time.

Wait a second, _next time_? Had he really already mentally planned a _next time_? He was both enraged at himself for breaking the rules and invigorated at the thought of…well, whatever this was. He desperately wanted to call it romance, but the word simply did not seem to fit. He had courted a few ellyth a great many years ago and he had considered that romance, but it had never grown into anything of substance. This, on the other hand, seemed to have endless possibilities, despite the fact that it was quite illegal. It was deep and heartfelt too, unlike anything that had passed between him and an elleth in the past.

Was this feeling love? Was this what it felt like to fall in love with an elleth? Could this have really happened to him after all of these long years? Haldir did not know. He did know that he had erred greatly because of the warden's rules though and was growing more and more concerned with the issue as the night went on.

Had he ruined his life by having this special moment with Belegwen?

Again, he did not know. Almost reflexively, he grabbed Belegwen's arm and started heading back towards Caras Galadhon in silence while dark thoughts started to brew in his mind.

ooOoo

It was a very interesting feeling, having one's arm held, Belegwen decided as she and Haldir walked back to Caras Galadhon through the forest. It made her feel proper, as if she was part of a real courtship, despite the fact that this was anything but that. Honestly, she was not too certain of his intentions, though his eyes had shown an honest desire for her company. What sort of company did Marchwarden Haldir truly desire from her? She did not wish to be a mere friend or acquaintance. No, what she felt for him was much deeper than that. She could not have a rightful relationship or marriage with him though, considering the circumstances. So, what was it? She knew that in the moment, she had felt as though she had bound herself to him, but now she was not so sure if that had really been the case.

Belegwen feared that if they really were to fall in love, one of them would have to quit being a warden in order to have a proper marriage. She knew Haldir would not quit, for he had been commanding the wardens for far too long to give up his position and rank. Besides, he loved his job; everyone knew that. At the same time, she knew she would not be able to either. She had come so far up the ranks and had worked and suffered to gain the respect of her fellow wardens. Belegwen simply could not give that up for the life a common elleth. She knew nothing about maintaining a talan, sewing, or elflings. If she tried it, she would not only fail terribly, but would also be living in the shadow of what she could be: a great warrior and leader.

No, she could not give it up. Not ever.

Upon arriving back in Caras Galadhon, Haldir released her arm and began to keep his distance from her. This made Belegwen's heart sink, as if it was weighed down by an anchor. There was no hope for this situation, absolutely no hope at all.

As she began to climb up the stairs to her room, she heard him give a few last-minute orders to her. "Get up bright and early tomorrow; we are leading the border patrol for the next fortnight. Also, put some salve on those wrists before you sleep."

With that said, he turned around and left to attend to his own business. The Marchwarden was fully back now, leaving no trace of ellon she had given herself to only an hour ago. Belegwen lowered her head sadly and plodded up the stairs to do as he said.


	25. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 25: Stay

Silent feet ascended the long stairway which led up to the dwelling of Lothlorien's lord and lady. A soft blue glow shined down on Haldir's golden hair as he continued up the spiraling stairway at a consistent pace. The lady had summoned him and he had a feeling this meeting was of great importance, though he did not know quite why. It was just suspicion, but his feelings were seldom wrong.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Haldir quickly walked around the large pool of clear, dark water in the public area and waited for the lady in the dimmed light. Then, like a lamp in the darkness she appeared, shining in with the glorious light of the two trees. With grace like no other, she descended down the white marble steps of her domain to meet Haldir. Going down on one knee, he greeted the lady with a bowed head, in awe of her beauty. He did not always get to his knees in her presence, but sometimes he simply could not help himself.

The smile on her face served as her acknowledgement of his great spectacle of respect. After a moment, he stood up so their meeting could commence.

"My lady," he said, continuing his formal acknowledgement of her, "You have summoned me tonight?"

Her eyes darkened and the mood was no longer light. "Indeed," she whispered and turned away from him to face the dark treetops of her fair city. "Haldir, I fear I have seen something very grave in my mirror this morning."

Haldir felt his heart start to beat faster. The lady had never told him about any of her visions from the mystical mirror before. He could hear the ill will in her voice and suddenly knew she had bad tidings to share with him tonight. Haldir found himself slightly disturbed when she did not continue to share with his right away, but instead stood in silence, looking over her night-blanketed lands.

"What have you seen, my lady?" He finally asked, unable to take the suspense anymore.

"I have seen the dark shadow of war." She whispered almost incoherently as she turned to face him. Her eyes caught his intensely and held them. Haldir felt as though she was looking into his very soul and gaging his reaction to the news. Though he tried to hide it, his initial reaction was shock. Elves were not of this world and had not fought on behalf of it in many years. Elves were now leaving these shores in hopes of avoiding conflicts by heading to Valinor for the remainder of their infinite days. Therefore, why were they going to war? It made no sense to him.

"I feel your deep confusion, Haldir. While we reside in Caras Galadhon, we are still inhabitants of Arda, even if we are leaving these shores for the glorious ones of Valinor. We still remain here and thusly must fight for the freedom of these lands. I do not yet know when we will be needed, but when the call comes, we shall indeed help forge a new day where evil will not have such a great hold on the world."

"Yes, my lady." Haldir replied, bowing his head. "I should not have doubted you."

"And you still doubt me now." She said softly, taking hold of his chin and lifting his eyes up to an understanding, though slightly sad smile. "Fear not, Haldir. It will all make sense in good time. For now, we must start to prepare for this battle against evil. I expect you to immediately start training all of our eligible wardens for the war. Get new wardens battle-ready and advance our older wardens to new levels of skill. Your second-in-command and the eldest and most trusted wardens may help you in this task. I put my full faith in you, Haldir. It is your job to make sure that our wardens are prepared to win in battle when the time comes."

"It will be so, my lady. I will start preparing for the classes immediately." Haldir stated dutifully, then bowed and turned around to exit, already beginning to make intricate plans in his mind to carry out her will.

ooOoo

Taking a break from the task at hand, Heledhril found his eyes gliding over the empty training grounds. Well, they were almost empty. Since he had not been able to sleep, he decided to go and practice alone in the training field, but had been surprised to find that he was not the only warden there. The new female marchwarden, Belegwen, was also out on the field, wielding her sword particularly skillfully as she trained by herself.

_"She must be very serious about honing her skills to train so hard at this time of night and with no partner."_ He thought to himself, curious as to why she would give an imaginary foe a death match in the middle of the night. _"I could learn something from her if she would duel with me. Perhaps she would like a partner..."_

He could not stop wondering and hoping for a chance at seeing her skill first hand, so without much ado, he found himself slowly and shyly approaching her as she battled fiercely through the field.

But then, she suddenly stopped. _"Perhaps she has noticed me."_ He thought, although she had not looked in his direction yet. She seemed to be quite perplexed with her own sword at the moment. He froze, now slightly intimidated about approaching such a good swordsman. Then, in one mysterious motion, she thrust her sword down into the dirt solidly. Heledhril found himself cocking one eyebrow in confusion as he watched her with interest.

What he saw next astonished him. The marchwarden grasped both sides of the sword's cross guard and then lifted herself into a handstand on the sword. With closed eyes and a look of concentration, she steadied herself. Ever so carefully, she took one hand at a time and moved them to the hilt, all while maintaining her balance on the sword. Not being able to hold it in any longer, Heledhril let out a small chuckle at the audacity of it all, then regretted it as he saw that she had opened her eyes and was staring at him intensely.

"May I ask what are you doing, Marchwarden?" He inquired, immediately becoming serious as to not upset her. It was wrong of him to laugh at a warden of such high authority. He could get in trouble for doing so. However, when he next glanced at her face, he knew he was not in trouble, for her eyes were filled with good humor.

"I see you find my methods rather amusing Heledhril. Would you like to try it? It takes a great feat of strength and balance to do it, among other things." She stated, her eyes glittering as she waited for his reaction.

Though uneasy about trying something different, Heledhril found that he could not say no to Marchwarden Belegwen, who seemed to have better swordsmanship than any other warden he had ever encountered. "I shall feel silly doing this, but if it will help…" He said, shoving his own sword into the ground firmly.

Belegwen tested his sword, pushing on it to make sure that it was planted firmly and deeply into the ground. "Now you must grasp the cross guard and judge how much momentum you will use to get into position. Too much will propel you over the sword, while too little will not get you up there. Remember, once you are in the air, you must find your balancing point; a straight spine is a key figure in this."

Still perplexed by what he was about to do, Heledhril looked uncomfortably at the sword and then at Belegwen. He had always taken her for a rather shy and unconfident warden, but right now, she seemed quite different—very certain of herself. How odd to see such a change in her.

Taking ahold of the cross guard on each side of the blade, Heledhril took in a deep breath and pushed off of his feet quickly and delicately, only to find that he had overshot his mark and was hurdling quickly over to the other side of the sword. He tensed as his fall was stopped by two small hands gripping his calves tightly. "I have you," he heard her say, "I will hold you steady until you find your balancing point."

It was quite difficult indeed. A normal handstand was easy because one's arms were not so close together. It was very difficult to balance in this way though, with his hands almost touching one another. Heledhril could feel the sword shaking in the ground as he tried to straighten his spine and find his balance. He felt Belegwen help him along a little until his body became perfectly in line with the sword. "Point your toes, good. I am going to let you go now. Focus."

After about five seconds, he felt her hands release their grip and he focused all of his strength into his arms and the center of his body. He felt the sword shaking and starting to swivel a bit as he fought for his balance, then gracefully dismounted before he fell. Shakily, he straightened his back and looked at her. "Indeed, you are correct Marchwarden. It is a very hard test. Where did you learn such a unique training exercise?" He questioned, feeling quite curious about her methods. He had never seen anyone do things like this before and wondered where they originated.

"My father was a warden, long ago. When he was training, he came up with his own style of sword fighting and started to come up with many exercises that might help train wardens to have perfect swordsmanship. When he passed on, he left his book of methods to me and I have tested many of them out, all while forming a few hypotheses of my own. What we have worked on tonight is my own work, which I am greatly excited to try out. I have high hopes that if the method is perfected, it could be of great use to our wardens."

"Indeed," Heledhril said, perplexed by the elleth. He could tell that a great amount of her time had been spent on this method. "I would be interested in testing the methods out with you, if you would allow it."

"Really?" She asked, looking a bit confused. Her shyness was coming back quickly. "You would help me?"

"But of course!" Heledhril exclaimed, turning on his charm in an attempt to sooth her uneasiness with him. "It is a most interesting theory; I'm mystified by this. I have never seen anyone try to improve something like this before. Please, do tell me more." He said while taking a seat on the grass beside her. He watched as she did the same after pulling her sword from the earth.

"This is all based upon the idea that the sword and its user must act as one unit. By doing balance and strength exercises with the sword, one learns of the sword's limitations and strongholds, as well as one's own. That said, the sword becomes more than just a weapon, but a training tool for all good and necessary things that a warden should do." She said, then looked over his shoulder and out into the distance. "I do apologize, but Marchwarden Haldir is coming and I will need to work with him now. However, if you are still interested, you are welcome to meet with me here another day for training. I am often here at this time."

"Yes, indeed, I will practice your method and meet you out here again once I have mastered it. I am glad we had a chance to converse, Marchwarden Belegwen. Thank you for the lesson and your expertise." With that said, both wardens climbed to their feet. After offering her a salute with his fist upon his chest, Heledhril watched her turn around and approach Marchwarden Haldir.

ooOoo

Immediately, Belegwen knew something was wrong. Though Haldir was almost always serious, there was something different about his demeanor tonight, though she could not quite place what it was. His countenance was somehow even colder than before and he seemed a bit detached as well, which was not normal for him.

"Come," he called to her, "There is much for us to discuss." With that, he turned away from her and ran into the dark woods with her at his heels, trying to keep up with his long and furious strides.

Yes, something was bothering him. Belegwen frowned, not really knowing what she could say or do to make him feel better. He had been avoiding her whenever possible since their night of pleasure, which had been nearly three weeks ago. He guarded their secret with care, not even hardly bothering to talk to her during their fortnight of border patrol together. Then, the training sessions which had followed their return to the city had been filled with a tension so great that it was nearly unbearable to be around him. And now, there was this...

Something had to be done. Belegwen quickly decided that now was not the time for her to be her obedient, shy self. After checking for any signs of Eldarin life around the path, Belegwen quickly grew bold and grabbed his upper arm, pulling it to her bossom tightly and effectively stopping his run. "Something is bothering you. Tell me." She commanded him as he stopped.

He turned to her and appeared slightly shocked at her actions. She watched as his eyes scanned the premises to see if any elves were witnessing this. There was nobody around, but that did not stop his anger towards her. "Now is not the time. We will discuss this in the privacy of my talan." He tersely stated, yanking his arm away from her and continued running towards Caras Galadhon.

Filled with sadness, she followed him again, staying silent as they entered the city and ran towards the warden's quarters. Belegwen watched as he stormed up the winding steps towards his quarters, then followed obediently.

There was so much that she did not understand about him and what had come to pass between them. She did know one thing though; his silence and avoidance hurt. At the moment, she did not understand why she had feelings for this cold beast of an elf and why she had given herself to him, for he did not even seem to care that it had happened. It pained her to think about it, but yet she could think of little else.

Eventually, they made it up to his quarters. He opened the door and entered with her following closely behind him, her head hanging down in shame. "Sit." He commanded harshly, motioning her to the bed. Lifting her head a little, she sat down and looked up at him with the burden on her heart showing visibly upon her face. He stared back at her with a slightly odd look in his eyes that Belegwen could not place.

"I have met with the lady tonight and she did not give glad tidings." He started, watching Belegwen with his full attention. "She has seen a future in her mirror that she is most certain of. We are going to war, sooner than later."

Belegwen's eyes enlarged as she clenched her fists. "What?! Who are we fighting at the end of our own age?" She asked tensely.

"We will fight Sauron's forces as evil rises up once again. Few details have been disclosed to me and I cannot answer your other question. Our only duty now is to start preparing for it. I want you teaching swordsmanship classes. We will work the schedule out tomorrow." He said as he paced the room almost nervously.

"Very well then," Belegwen said coldly, rising from the bed into a standing position with her arms crossed. "Is that all?"

She looked him in the eyes, challenging him to say otherwise. The look she gave bestowed upon him made him stop for a moment, as she had planned. "Do not question the lady's will, Belegwen." He stated in a soft, irritated voice.

After walking to the door, her angry eyes met his once again. "It is not the lady's intentions that I hold in question." She spat, then exited the room feeling quite horrible. She would need time to work all of this out in her head. For now, all she wanted was a nice bath and her bed.

ooOoo

He stood absolutely still, his eyes still fixed on the door well after she had left. Her eyes were haunting him. Learning about the war did not seem to trouble her as it did him, but she was mad at him—he just knew it. However, what he did not know was what he should do about it.

Trying to ignore the problem, he found himself stripping down and donning his robe for a bath. Quickly, he went down the stairs to the bathhouse, only to find Belegwen quickly exiting it as he entered. Knowing he needed to say something, he grabbed her arm. "Belegwen…"

But that was all he had time to say, as she ripped her arm away from him and continued towards the stairs without even looking at his face.

Gracious shores, how was he going to remedy this situation?

After rapidly bathing, Haldir hurried up the marble steps with the hopes of catching her before she went to sleep. He only made the quickest stop at his talan to run a comb through his hair before continuing on to hers. He knocked on the door ever so softly, but did not wait for an answer before he entered.

The lights had already been dimmed, but Belegwen was not in bed. She stood out on the balcony, her eyes gazing up at the stars. He knew she felt his presence, but made no move to turn and face him. Slowly, he approached her, not knowing what state he would find her in. He felt a light breeze as he exited the room and walked out onto the balcony. Cautiously, he put his hands on her shoulders. "Belegwen…" He murmured, slowly sliding his hands down her arms, finding no resistance.

Or so he thought. Whipping around at the speed of light, he found himself face to face with a very upset elleth. Her angry eyes met his and she all but smacked him with her look of indignation. "How dare you!" She hissed quietly, grabbing the front of his robe with a clenched hand. "How dare you toy with my heart! I have all but bonded myself to you and you have ignored me for weeks now! Do you think I will accept such poor behavior? Do you?!"

"Belegwen, you misunderstnad-" He started, as she turned away from him and barged back into her room. He followed her back into the room and then continued, "I told you this has to be a secret. This is the only way we can be together right now. I am not mistreating your heart; I am simply not revealing it for all to see."

She stood with her arms crossed, staring at the wall in the dimly lit room. He came up behind her again and, taking a chance, gently put his arms around her waist. Feeling no opposition this time, he bent down slightly and brought his lips within an inch of her tiny, pointed ear and whispered, "I still feel the same as I did that night under the stars. I still care about you, Belegwen."

He felt her begin to tremble in his arms and drew her in closer until he could feel every curve of her backside against the front of his body. Breathing softly on her ear still, he lowered his head and placed a few slow and sensual kisses on her neck, awaiting her reaction as his hands slid languidly over the smooth satin robe that covered her stomach.

"If that is how you feel," she replied breathily, "then why are you so unkind to me when we are in public? You say you are trying to hide our secret... You may hide what is there, but you need not be so cruel towards me." She whispered, trying to sound angry but failing more and more with every kiss that he layered up and down her soft neck.

Quickly, he turned her around so she faced him and pulled her chin up with two fingers so her eyes met his. Her blues eyes stared into his and he felt his heart start to beat more quickly as he tried to find the right words to say.

"I'm sorry."

It was all he could come up with, but it was enough because her fiery lips hit his own immediately with a passion he had not dreamed of. One of her hands pushed into his hair roughly while the other dragged down his back, pushing her body tightly against his own. He could feel the heat and curves of her body through their thin robes and shuddered as he grasped her firmly and joined in.

It was only one kiss, but it felt like it could burn on for all of eternity. Finally, he pulled away, gasping for breath, in awe of the power of it all. Silently, he pulled her into his embrace and stroked her damp hair, shutting his eyes to savor the moment. "My lady," he murmured into her hair, "I will try not to be so harsh. You are a marchwarden and deserve more respect than what I have given you. However, I will not allow other elves to see any hint of what is happening here. This is a secret and it must be well guarded. You must not think that my actions as a marchwarden and my duty to the elves have anything to do with my feelings towards you. Promise me you will remember this in the future. No matter how rude or cruel I am when I am doing my job, you must promise me that you will let it all go because I am only being what I must—a marchwarden of Lothlorien. Do not fear my harshness in the outside world. My personal feelings for you will not change."

Leaning down again, he kissed her forehead softly. "Promise me now."

She looked up and into his eyes, studying them for sincerity, as she always did. Pushing back a piece of his golden hair, she gave him a soft peck on the lips. "I promise."

Happy that she had forgiven him, Haldir smiled down at her momentarily, then kissed her deeply once more. Desiring her greatly, he pulled her body up against his own, nuzzling his face against her hair for a moment. Quietly, he whispered in her ear, "May I?"

"Please." She implored as a shiver ran through her. Not needing to be asked twice, his lips roughly connected with hers as a fire lit within him. He grasped her tightly against him and let his hands wander, making her gasp several times as he touched her in all the right places. His hands went to the tie on her robe and it slid off of her smooth skin with ease. He lost all control of himself as they reached her bed and before he realized it, he found himself bonding with her once again.

ooOoo

As Belegwen gasped for air in the aftermath of their passion, she felt Haldir quickly roll off of her and immediately leave the bed. No, this could not be. He could not lay her bare and then leave and expect everything to be fine between them. With the quickness of lightning, her hand shot off the bed and grabbed his arm as hard as she could, trying to clamp on with the same iron grip that she knew he had mastered a long time ago.

Her eyes burned into his with a questioning look, longing for something that he did not understand. "You cannot leave yet." She commanded breathily as she tried to gain her composure again.

His looked back down at her, his face studying her countenance as best he could in the small tendrils of dim light that were cast over her. His eyes were questioning what she wanted, though he did not bother to ask. "Belegwen, I must go. We have a big day tomorrow and there are only a few hours left to sleep before we must both be working again."

Her face became sad and unreadable. She paused, trying to think of the right words to say. "Haldir, if you truly care for me then you must know that I need more than what you are offering me now. I have given you comfort tonight, now please… stay and give me mine." She said, begging all while loathing herself for sinking to the level of begging. Why should she beg for his attentions? If he cared about her as deeply as he said he did, surely he would offer them to her freely, would he not? Sighing internally, Belegwen was growing more and more confused about their situation and it tormented her heart to no end.

Haldir, on the other hand, was staring into her eyes with confusion. Finally, he questioned her with an odd expression on his face. "Was that not comfort for you? Did I not give you pleasure?"

"Yes," she shot back immediately, "Yes, you gave me great pleasure, but it is not comfort."

He still looked confused and Belegwen felt even more frustrated with him. "Then, what must I do?" He asked quietly.

She looked down, wishing she had just let him go. She did not want to plead with him or make him uncomfortable. This had not turned out to be what she thought it was though and inwardly, she felt broken because they did not feel the same way about each other.

"No," He said suddenly and firmly. He grabbed up her chin and made her look up at him as he sat back down on her bed. "You must tell me what to do. You promised me you that you understood my feelings and intentions and I tell you again, they do not waiver. I do not wish to displease you, so tell me what I may do for you now."

Belegwen saw what she thought was sincerity in his eyes. Could she really trust him with her heart though? She did not wish to hurt like this any longer. Deciding to take the chance he was offering, she quickly replied to his query.

"Stay with me." She said, opening up to him and giving away the desperation in her heart for something of permanence. "Please. Even if it's just until I go to sleep. Stay." Then, she shut her eyes because she feared he would become angry at her for having such a silly, feminine request. She waited for his reproach, but it never came.

Instead, she felt him lift the sheet and join her in bed, pulling her towards his naked body. She opened her eyes when she felt his warm skin upon hers and found herself face to face with him. "Like this?" He questioned softly, pecking her cheek as he pulled her into his hard, muscular arms.

"Yes," she breathed, terribly surprised that he was still here. Gently, she snuggled her head into the crook of his shoulder and stared up into the glass roof of the ceiling, looking at the stars.

"Anything for you." He muttered, before moving a bit more to get comfortable. Then, she sighed softly as his breathing caught a regular pattern.

_"Perhaps,"_ she thought, _"there is hope for us yet."_


	26. Blood Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Fatemeh68 for the comment and to all the fans for the kudos!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 26: Blood Lust

The first rays of sun started to shine into Belegwen's talan, creeping into the room ever so slowly. Soon, they made their way to the top of the bed and slid across her beautiful face. Frowning, the elleth quickly rolled over, trying to maintain her state of sleep. However, the attempt failed as the warm sun heated up her face, causing her to focus her eyes and come out of reverie.

Blinking a few times, she sat up, clutching her cream-colored sheet over her chest. All of the memories of the previous night floated back into her head as she stared at a few lingering shadows that were on her terrace: Heledhril, the war, her argument with Haldir…

"He stayed," she whispered to herself, confirming her memories of the night before. She looked down at her wrinkled satin sheets, remembering every touch and kiss that had taken place during the previous night. "…but not the whole night." She said, finishing her statement after a long pause. She started to frown as she realized how disappointed she was.

Indeed, she had told him that he could leave once she was asleep, but secretly, she had really hoped he would stay. Belegwen had wanted to wake up and find him sleeping beside her, looking as bedraggled as she, wearing nothing but that intoxicating smile that he put on every once in a while, just for her.

She had really hoped he would still be there. Now, everything about the whole night seemed rather disheartening to think about. She had successfully convinced him to stay, but he had not really wanted to stay. And his promise…well, it was probably said in haste. "It meant nothing," She murmured while slowly getting up to grab her fresh uniform. "It never does." Slowly, she proceeded to get dressed as she wallowed in her thoughts of regret.

As she laced up her breeches, she noticed something out of place on her desk. After grabbing her undershirt and pulling it on, she walked over to investigate. There were books, but she had not placed them down there. On the top, there was a quickly scrawled note:

_Marchwarden Belegwen,_

_I have worked out a schedule of training education. You are to teach Advanced Swordplay twice each afternoon, starting today. Use these books to help you guide your pupils' training. I might stop by to see your progress, it time allows. Be confident and teach them well._

_Marchwarden Haldir_

Advanced swordplay?

_Today!?_

Was he serious?! Belegwen had never taken Advanced Swordplay herself. How was she going to teach other wardens how to do it? How could she be confident when she was going to teach a class she knew little about to a group of wardens in a few mere hours?!

Belegwen quickly put a hand over her mouth, closed her eyes, and backed up until she hit the nearest wall, contemplating this new turn of events. First of all, she needed to stop panicking because it was not solving a thing. Secondly, she needed to use these next couple of hours to formulate a teaching plan. Once she had fully composed herself, she sat down at her desk and flipped the first book open.

Quickly, she started to read.

ooOoo

Rumil climbed the stairs up to his room slowly, having mixed feelings about the news his brother had given all of the wardens that morning. Right from the beginning of the announcement, Rumil had known something was amiss. It was highly uncommon for so many of the wardens to congregate in one area for a meeting. A thick tension had filled the air, as all involved knew this was unnatural.

Then, they found out they were going to war.

Every warden in the crowd had reacted differently. Some had looked fearful, while others flew into a fit of whispers. Some had looks of shock and disbelief written all over their faces while others simply denied it, though it was obvious they would not be able to keep that opinion for long. Rumil, however, had made a hasty exit. He found that in trying times, he simply needed to think by himself in order to make sense of things. It was his way of coping with what life dealt him.

When he finally got to the door leading to his room, he had every intention of swiftly entering and laying down on his sunny balcony to think things through, but instead found his attention drawn to a folded letter that was stuck between his doorframe and the wall. When Rumil looked around, he noticed that all of the warden's doors had similar items protruding from them as well. Quickly, Rumil snatched his up and entered his talan, happy to have finally made his escape from society.

Ungracefully, he tore open the seal and unfolded the letter as he flopped down on his bed, skimming it quickly. "Oh, how wonderful." He muttered, rolling his eyes and laying down on his bed with his arms splayed out dramatically.

Because of the up and coming war, all of the wardens in Lothlorien were being assigned classes to improve their skills before the battle. Now he had to go to an Advanced Swordplay class this afternoon. That was the last thing he wanted to do. Yes, under normal circumstances, Rumil would have loved to take a class to improve his skills, as they were occasionally offered, but this one would only serve to remind him of the war that he so desperately did not want to partake in!

"Bah!" He spat, carelessly throwing down the letter and moving to the balcony. Rumil laid down on the marble floor and stared up into the shiny, golden leaves that were illuminated by the sun. A feeling of foreboding passed through his body and he shivered, despite the heat of the sun.

"What is going to become of us?" He whispered.

ooOoo

Silently, Belegwen exited her room with her sword in hand. Her face was calm and collected, though she was anything but that on the inside. It was time. With a plan in her head and Nimrodel sheathed in her hand, she was as ready as she ever would be to teach her first class.

In her heart though, she was scared. More scared than she would be if she was entering a battle. She had never taught anything to anyone before, unless one counted the single sword lesson she had given to Heledhril a few days back. That had been one on one though, a situation Belegwen was much more comfortable with. This time, she would be teaching a sizeable group—she did not even know how many wardens were going to be there!

All of her dark thoughts were interrupted by a smiling warden who happened to be exiting his talan at the same time as was exiting hers. "Marchwarden Belegwen." Rumil said, regarding her with the slightest tilt of his head.

Belegwen smiled at his friendliness. Because she had cared for him on the fateful night that his brother had passed away after a border skirmish, Rumil and Belegwen had acquired an odd little friendship of sorts. Though they had not ever had a real conversation, there was a silent understanding between the two—a mutual care of some sort. Neither had taken steps to make it anything more though until now.

She gave him a genuine smile back. _"Perhaps if I talk to him, I will not be so nervous."_ She thought as she slowly approached him. "Rumil." She said, regarding him as she approached him in the stairwell. "Where are you headed on this fine day?" She asked cautiously. She was not entirely certain of how he would react to her after all of the silence between them.

However, Belegwen quickly saw that she had no reason to feel self-conscious around Rumil, as he seemed quite pleased to be offered her company. He gave a small, light-hearted chuckle that had the slightest hint of sarcasm to it. "Indeed, despite learning of our involvement in the war, it is a fine day!" He said, making a bit of a joke out of it.

Belegwen smiled sadly at this. "My apologies Rumil. I learned of it last night and was not at the gathering this morning. I did not even think when I said that-"

"No, no…" He said, interrupting her apology, "There is no need to apologize. I know that you did not mean it that way. So, I take it by your apparel that you are heading out to the practice field? Are you required to go to the Advanced Swordplay class as well?"

"Indeed, I am." She replied, uncertain if she should reveal her role in the class or not.

"Oh good, I shall have at least one warden to chat with then as we all deal with one of Haldir's minions." He blathered on.

"Haldir's minions?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow much like Haldir, though it was unbeknownst to her.

"Oh yes," Rumil chuckled, "It is a term Orophin and I coined for any poor soul who has ever had to work in close-contact with my brother and put up with his-" Rumil then stopped suddenly, his eyes widening as he stared at her in shock over what he had said.

Apparently, he had gotten so caught up in the conversation that he had forgotten her position under Haldir. He blushed a bit and, looking rather embarrassed, immediately rebuked himself. "I fear that I have now said something much more foolish than you, Marchwarden. Do accept my apology. I fear there are times in which I have no tact whatsoever."

Quite amused by all of this, Belegwen put a comforting hand on Rumil's shoulder. "As you said before Rumil, there is no need. Indeed, I fear you are right: I am one of Haldir's minions and now, I do believe we are even, having each said something quite ridiculous to one another."

Seeing that she truly was not mad, Rumil bounced right back into being his happy go lucky self. "We are even, indeed. Speaking of Haldir and his minions, how is he treating you? I know he is difficult to work with at times and rather harsh when it comes to orders."

Belegwen nearly laughed at this. Harsh? More like _brutal_. "Well," she said, trying to find a way to phrase this properly without offending Rumil, "He is very domineering. It was quite trying at the beginning, but things have smoothed over a bit with the passage of time and I have become accustomed to his behavior. It is not that bad."

Rumil gave her a questioning glance as they trod together into the fenced off area of the practice field. "Not that bad? Not that bad?!" He said in a mocking tone, feigning alarm on his face. "Haldir has merely chopped my arm off during a strenuous sword practice, but do not worry! It is not that bad!" He said mimicking a high-pitched elleth's voice, maintaining his fearful face as he performed a short melodrama in front of her.

Belegwen broke out in a fit of laughter over this. What a joyful and comical elf he was—not at all like Haldir, who was always so stern and serious! Rumil had an odd sense of humor, but Belegwen found that she was quite delighted with it. "Oh Rumil, you are too silly!" She declared, playfully swatting his arm.

"Oh, most certainly, dearest marchwarden! I am afraid that Orophin and Haldir took all of the good family genes like intelligence and tact and have left me with all of the foolhardiness and humor!" He said, laughing again with his loud and clear tenor voice.

"Oh Rumil," She said, shaking her head a bit, her voice now taking a more serious tone, "I know that is not true. Now, you must go and warm up before the lesson." She said, pointing to where several other wardens were stretching and engaging in a few practice bouts. "I will see you there momentarily."

"Yes Marchwarden," He said, saluting her with his fist against his chest to show respect, then proceeded to run off towards the gathered group of wardens, not noticing that she was smiling at him as he departed.

ooOoo

Under the golden mellyrn, near the edge of the practice field, Haldir had seen the whole scene with his brother play out before him and was now standing as still as a statue, in utter shock as anger boiled within him. Haldir was infuriated and appalled at what he had just saw: Belegwen, walking with his brother, chattering and laughing in the open as if it was quite normal. She seemed so at ease with him; it was unfair! It was unfair that it was Rumil and not him!

A small wave of sadness filled him and he turned away. Rumil had been flirting with her—he knew how his brother was, always charming any elleth who was willing to give him the time of day. He had a flare for it too, one that Haldir most certainly did not.

What if he tried to charm Belegwen and take her for his own? What if she decided Rumil was a much better pick than himself?

 _"No, no, no."_ Haldir thought, chastising himself for thinking of such folly. Rumil would not break the warden's rules. Though Rumil enjoyed joking around, Haldir knew his brother had always been a stickler for following rules and had carefully abided by all of the laws of Lothlorien without question. He would not break the rules for one simple elleth, would he?

Originally, Haldir had never planned on breaking the rules either, but he had. What would stop Rumil from doing so if he, a longtime marchwarden of these lands, was defiant enough to disregard the rules?

He shook his head at this in frustration. The rule had been put into place to protect Belegwen when she became a warden long ago. Lord Celeborn had insisted on its importance, as he desired to protect Belegwen from danger at all costs. After nearly three millennia of service though, was it really necessary?

Haldir cared deeply about Belegwen and the rule was getting in his way. He could not even smile at her in public for fear that somebody might assume something. As he had seen last night, she was starting to doubt his …well, whatever it was that he had for her… and now Rumil was closing in.

"I am behaving like a jealous fool." Haldir said under his breath, rather irritated at himself for letting an elleth affect him like this. He quickly headed out to the archery range in an attempt to straighten out his thoughts before he started teaching his Intermediate Knife Skills class.

Had he looked behind him though, perhaps he would have seen the abominable scene that was starting to unfold in Belegwen's class.

ooOoo

Belegwen did a double take, shocked at what one warden had dared to say to her in front of the class. "Excuse me?"

The ellon stood his ground on the green field though, looking angrily at her, not willing to stand down from his claim. "You heard me, Marchwarden," Erthalion said, leaning forward while saying her title with a sarcastic tone to his voice, "I asked why you are teaching this class. Silly elleth, you have never even taken this class before because you were in my Intermediate Swordsmanship class all those years ago and the advanced one has not been offered since-"

Heledhril grabbed the seething green-eyed elf by the shoulder and quickly turned him around to face him. "Erthalion, that is enough! You dishonor Marchwarden Belegwen with these words of yours!"

Erthalion pushed him away forcefully though and turned back to Belegwen. She could see that his anger was overtaking his good judgement at the moment, but she was uncertain of how to resolve the issue at hand.

"I dishonor her? It is she who dishonors us with her mediocre skills! I would like a demonstration of these 'so called' swordsmanship skills, for I am certain that I could best her with incredible ease!"

Belegwen's eyebrows both shot up at his statement as she put on her best 'Haldir look'—a face of pure haughtiness that only a marchwarden could pull off. She was determined to put Erthalion in his rightful place this time without demonstrating her fear. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought that Erthalion would be crazy enough to show his contempt towards her in a public place, in front of the other wardens who respected her. Here he was though, insulting her with fifteen other wardens in shock that he would act thusly towards her.

She could not let him get away with this—not in front of this group of wardens. She would no longer be looked up to if she did not take care of this problem efficiently. No, Belegwen had not come this far to lose it all. She knew what she had to do.

"You dare to challenge me, warden?" She said, trying her best to sound as stuffy as she could so that her fear would not be detected. "Very well then, we shall duel. I warn you though, you will not win." She said darkly, narrowing her eyes at the perpetrator.

"Ha! We shall see…" He spat, stepping forward out of the ranks of his peers. "Name the rules of this duel, Marchwarden Belegwen."

"We shall abide by the regular dueling rules. The only weapons that may be used in this battle are our bodies and our swords, no concealed knives or other weapons are allowed. Also, there is to be no public interference until the duel is completely over and one of us has asked for mercy. Is this understood?" She said, now walking beside him so that they had a considerable amount of room between the other wardens in the class and themselves.

"Understood." He said, giving Belegwen a little bow, as was the tradition at such an event. She gave a small bow in return to support the tradition as well, though she had no respect for the ellon who had challenged her. Belegwen did not know why this warden hated her so, but she was going to pay him back for bruising her wrists a few weeks ago. He should have never gotten away with that. It had only led him to believe that he could take further advantage of her!

Now, in the grassy clearing of the practice field, Belegwen unsheathed Nimrodel, the blade glittering dangerously as the sunlight hit the precious metal. She watched as Erthalion took out his own sword and gaged it to be a much heavier one than her own. No matter though, Belegwen knew she would win. She was undefeated and did not plan on letting this moron break her streak.

At the same moment, both of them quickly fell into a fighting stance, swords lifted and at the ready and heels slightly elevated for quick maneuvering. The dueling pair quickly made eye contact, his fiery green orbs delving into her confident blue ones as the match began.

Already, Belegwen could see his weakness. While she was loose and nimble, ready for his attack, he was quite tight and tense with the anger he harbored towards her. His bitterness would end up be his greatest flaw in this fight. In fact, Belegwen was certain that it would be his downfall. She wondered if he could even think coherently with all of the rage that was smoldering within him. Soon, she would find out.

"Your move." She stated softly, her body perfectly poised to receive an attack from him at any moment.

Belegwen did not have to wait long, for immediately after she had uttered those words, he drew up his sword and charged at her. He swung at her and she matched him, their swords gloriously clashing in midair. He held her there and she suddenly realized what his plan was: he was going to try and out her with brute strength.

As her small arms shook under the grievous pressure, she mentally chuckled. He could not win this way in a sword fight. In hand to hand combat, yes, most certainly he could, but not in a sword fight. He would tire quickly if he continued what he was doing.

However, he seemed to be getting the better of her now with his first blow. He continued to push her and she felt her knees tremble under the pressure. Suddenly, the pressure pushed her onto her knees and she knew it was time to get away. Biting her lip with exertion, she pulled Nimrodel off of his sword as fast as she could and rolled through the grass off to his left side, quickly jumping to her feet to parry his next blow. His swing was slow too, she noticed. Many of the wardens enjoyed showing off their strength by using heavier swords, but they simply did not suit everyone. Though Haldir could wield his with an easy grace, Belegwen had seen few others who could do the same.

Erthalion was not one of them.

There was a good chance that part of his problem was his pent up rage. He was not wielding the large sword well at all. He was slow and unbalanced. Being very agile and limber, Belegwen found that she could easily duck or jump out of the way to avoid his blows. This, naturally, seemed to anger him even more.

"Quit avoiding me! Come and fight me like a real warden!" He bellowed petulantly.

With an eyebrow cocked in amusement, Belegwen answered his request and came at him with a flawless offensive. He met several of her blows, but before long she had landed a decent scrape across his chest and had given his sword elbow a nasty smack with the flat edge of Nimrodel, which caused him to draw back in pain, grasping his elbow as he backed away.

"Give in now," she said quite seriously, "I do not wish to hurt you."

"Never!" He hissed, flexing his elbow a few times to test its strength, then came at her all over again, now swing his sword and his fist angrily. Not expecting his fist, which happened to be much faster than his sword, Belegwen fell to the ground after his hand connected with her cheekbone painfully. However, quick as lightning she rolled slightly backwards, then flipped herself back into a standing position, leaving Nimrodel on the ground just as Erthalion jerked his sword towards her again. Flattening her hands, she reached up and clapped them together, catching the sword in midair.

He was gripping the sword much too tightly. How very lucky. Performing a feat of strength all her own, Belegwen simultaneously pulled her left hand up as she jerked her right hand down and sent the hooligan and his sword twirling through the air to the right, both taking a hard landing on the grassy field.

The sword had been separated from its owner. Now was the time to end the duel. Belegwen quickly strode up to Erthalion and pressed her blade against his neck. "Do you surrender warden?"

He looked irate and refused to answer. She sighed and rolled her eyes, outraged by his behavior. "This is over." She stated, then turned from him to return to her class.

Not a moment after she turned from him though, a strong hand reached around her and grasped her neck much more tightly than anyone had ever done to her before. She felt her entire body being lifted off the ground by Erthalion's powerful hand and quickly brought her empty hand up to try and remove it, finding that her sword hand was being restrained by Erthalion's free hand.

She could not get it his hand off her neck! His grip was tight and despite all of her struggling, she could not seem to get away. Over her choking, she could hear a few of the wardens in her class yelling, but she could not make sense of it in the moment. Vaguely, she heard Erthalion shout something about breaking her neck, but she could not make heads or tails of what the others were saying.

Air! She needed air! It was all she could think of as she continued to try to kick and battle her way out of his terribly painful grasp. Then, success! She felt Erthalion's grip on her sword arm loosen and she swung it blindly at his head at her first chance. She felt the tip dig into something, but then cursed herself as she felt his grip tighten. The sword was then quickly pried from her hand.

Now, she brought her other hand up to her neck in desperation and tried to pull herself out of his grasp, but the likelihood of her success was growing smaller and smaller. She could no longer hear any sounds and her vision was starting to blur and her lungs burnt in a way that she had never imagined possible from the lack of air. There was also a certain cold numbness that was sifting through her body so slowly and invitingly… Oh, how good it would be to give into it and ride on the sea, the currents crashing around her...

 _"NO!"_ She screamed at herself mentally, half of her still fighting, still determined not to let it end this way. Nevertheless, coherent thought at this point was no longer possible. Belegwen was reeling in pain and dizziness and slowly her struggling was starting to cease.

 _"DO NOT GIVE IN! TRIP HIM WITH YOUR LEGS!"_ A loud male voice called to her within the confines of her mind. No longer able to question this thought, she simply went about making it happen as a last attempt to free herself. With what little strength she had left, she brought her legs back behind Erthalion's body and pushed them forward with as much power as her weakened state would allow.

It was enough. She felt him teeter and then fall, taking her with him to the ground. Oh, precious air! There it was! He had temporarily let go, but she quickly found that this was short-lived, as she could feel him reaching, trying to pull her back to him to finish the job.

As she looked away from him, she could see the blurry outline of a sword lying pretty close her. Belegwen extended her arm as far as she could, grasping a bit at the hilt, but was unable to grab the whole sword. He yanked her back again, but not before she had one last reach which resulted in her grasping the hilt!

Violently, she felt his hand resume its place on her neck with a new vigor, but she would take no more of this. Though she could tell by the horrible weight that she did not hold Nimrodel, it no longer mattered. Belegwen had gotten a few breaths of air along with a sword and that was all she needed to finish Erthalion off! With an abrupt turn of her body, she swung the flat side of the sword with all of the strength she had at Erthalion's head and hit him with a dead-on accuracy that could be matched by few.

Instantly, he let go and fell over, out cold from her strike. After landing on top of him, Belegwen hastily tried to get to her feet in an attempt to preserve what little dignity she had left in front of her class. However, this was not the right thing to do because her feet had not regained feeling yet. Strong arms caught her limp body though and pulled her to her feet and into another elf's arms. She clutched at this elf's tunic for dear life, afraid of falling back to the ground as a dizzy spell overtook her.

Air! There was finally air! She breathed in the sweet nectar as best as she could, as much as she could!

Thank the Valar! It was finally over!


	27. Self Admittance

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 27: Self Admittance

Belegwen was falling. Quickly, Rumil rushed over and grabbed the female marchwarden before she hit the ground and did any further damage to herself. Immediately, he felt her hands latch onto his tunic weakly as she gasped for air. Rumil tried his best to hold her up as gently as he could; she looked terribly disoriented and pallid, her white cheeks tinted with a light bluish-lavender color that was also the shade of her fair lips. There were horribly large bruises of many putrid colors all around her neck, the angry marks emphasized by her paleness. Rumil could sense her fear, though she was trying to mesh her face into one of indifference.

She had almost died at the hands of an angry, murderous elf. Rumil knew that he surely looked as horrified as she after witnessing such a shocking scene:

_"Good riddance!" The elf next to Rumil said with a chuckle as Marchwarden Belegwen declared to Erthalion that their duel was over. She had clearly been victorious and was smiling smugly as she turned away from him. "The great oaf deserved to be thrown off of his high horse after being in such a foul state for the past few months!"_

_Rumil turned to meet his companion's smiling eyes, only to hear a choir of gasps break out among the ranks. He turned his head back around and his eyes grew large with shock at the scene he was witnessing. Erthalion, a long-time warden and sworn protector of Lothlorien, was strangling a fellow elf!_

_"Vala," Rumil whispered, frozen with fear for a second, before bolting forward with several other wardens to fight off the traitor._

_"STAND BACK OR I WILL BREAK HER NECK!" He screamed, staring at them in a threatening manner. He could do it and it appeared he would not hesitate to do so. The elf was mad! Rumil stopped in his tracks upon hearing this and slowly started to back up, fearing that Erthalion would break her neck if he did not. If that happened, it would all be over. While he was holding her like that, there was still a chance of her escaping._

_"Erthalion," stated a very calm and reasonable Heledhril, ever the mediator, "Please, put her down. Your anger has spiraled out of control and you are going to kill her, Erthalion. You do not want the blood of an innocent life on your hands!"_

_"Oh, be quiet," Erthalion growled back while looking around to try and find where Heledhril was standing. "You do not know what I want!"_

_However, his search for Heledhril had distracted him and Marchwarden Belegwen seemed to realize this. Her restrained hand, which still held her sword, twitched a bit and then lashed out in an attack at Erthalion's face. Immediately, he screamed as she swiped his right ear, cutting the pointy tip clean off! Quickly, she was disarmed, Erthalion now seething at the loss of the Eldarin part of his ear. Because of it, he seemed to tighten his grip on her even more, ignoring the fact that his ear was bleeding profusely._

_Belegwen's movements were now beginning to slow down. Rumil could see that it was going to be over soon, panicking at her grief-stricken face that was quickly turning more and more white. "Help! HELP!" He cried out desperately, scanning the fields for someone who could help before she died! "HALDIR!" He screamed, seeing his brother over at the archery range._

_Haldir looked over his shoulder at them and a shocked expression flew over his features before he hid it. Immediately, he was barreling over, but came a few seconds too late, as right before he arrived, the Belegwen decided to take things into her own hands, tripping Erthalion quickly by pulling his legs out from under him, then grabbing up his sword and smacking him into the next century with the flat edge. Several wardens gasped and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared as she quickly tried to get up and away from her attacker._

"It is all over now." Rumil whispered to the shaking elleth, holding her up in her weakness. Not that he thought she was weak of course—any ellon or man who had been put in a situation like that would be frail afterwards. Lightly, he guided her chin up a little so he could inspect her bruises a bit closer.

"Oh dear Vala!" He whispered, looking at the colorful abrasions. There were light and dark greens, blues, and purples all over the front of her neck. It looked absolutely dreadful.

A wave of guilt crashed over Rumil as he let go of her chin to hold her up more steadily. If only there had been something that he could have done to help prevent this! None of the elves had dared to move though, all believing that Erthalion surely would have broken her neck as he had threatened.

Rumil felt a tear run down his cheek as he held her closer. The tension had been so great! Vala, he thought he would see her die right there just after having befriended her. To die at the hands of an orc was one thing, an unpreventable problem for some wardens and a dangerous possibility that came along with their job description. However, to die at the hands of an elf, that would have been a real tragedy. Rumil did not know how he would have dealt with something of that nature or even if he could.

"Here, let me help you." A quiet voice said, taking one of Belegwen's arms off of him. It was Heledhril, who looked very concerned and distressed over the current situation. Heledhril pulled her right arm over his shoulder and Rumil put her left arm over his own so that she was balanced between the two of them. "Let's lower her to the ground now." Heledhril commanded, slowly descending to his knees as Rumil mimicked the motion, using his other arm to push her shaky legs out from under her body and into a comfortable sitting position.

"Marchwarden," Heledhril questioned, directing her face towards him with a light touch, "Are you getting enough air?"

She nodded a bit. Rumil watched as Heledhril opened his mouth to ask another question, but then stopped as a shadow fell over him.

It was Haldir and he did not look happy.

ooOoo

Haldir found that his head was spinning at this whole incident. His heart was beating terribly fast and he could not seem to get it to calm down. Belegwen had been strangled. Strangled! And by one of her own, a warden of Lothlorien! A warden whom Haldir had thought was respectable! A warden whom he had previously considered skilled enough to work as a second to himself!

He glanced down at Belegwen and grimaced. She looked as pale as a death, unsteady and… was being held in Rumil's arms?! Shock, anger, and a thousand other emotions flew over him in waves, though he did not let it show on his physical features. _"No,"_ he thought to himself, _"You must not worry about that right now! Save it for later!"_ After focusing his thoughts, he ripped his eyes away from that sight and focused on the problem that was laying in the grass by his feet.

It appeared that Erthalion had not faired well in his last moments of the battle and had sustained quite a few wounds. There were two places on his body that had slashes: both his chest and his head, but there was also a chunk missing from the top of his ear, which was bleeding profusely. His other ear seemed to be bleeding too, but the blood was coming from inside of the ear. _"That cannot be good."_ Haldir thought, furrowing his brow as he got down on his knees to examine the traitor.

Grabbing up Erthalion's wrist, Haldir pushed his fingers against the limp flesh as he tried to feel for a pulse. "Sir, is he still alive?" He heard a warden ask. Haldir looked up to find that he was surrounded by quite a few of the wardens who were in Belegwen's class, all bearing differing emotions upon their faces.

"Yes. He has a pulse." He said in a dark voice. He had never in all of his years dealt with a traitor in the woods who was an elf and was not certain how this situation would play out.

"Tell me how this came to be." He demanded, looking at the wardens around him to see who could recant the story to him.

The tall warden who had previously asked the question knelt down to face Haldir and started recalling the terrible tale. "Sir, Erthalion was angry and questioned Marchwarden Belegwen's swordsmanship skills at the beginning of the class, saying she had not taken the class that she is teaching currently. He challenged her to a duel and she agreed to it. They abided by all of the formal dueling rules, sir, and Marchwarden Belegwen was soon triumphant. However, Erthalion refused to admit defeat when she had him at the neck. After a while, she declared the duel was over and turned away. The moment she turned away, sir, Erthalion attacked her and started to strangle her. Many wardens came forward to try and save her, but Erthalion threatened to break her neck. We were all quite certain he would if we moved, so we stayed still and Rumil called to you. Marchwarden Belegwen freed herself before you got here though and knocked Erthalion out with the flat edge of her sword, but I am certain you witnessed that part yourself." He finished softly, looking at Haldir with haunted eyes for most of the tale.

"Very well then," Haldir stated, then quickly gathered his thoughts together again to issue orders. "You two," He said, pointing to two silver-haired wardens in the crowd, "Go retrieve a litter from one of the healer's telain, then come back, load Erthalion up and carry him there. You are to remain there guarding him until I send others to relieve you. Keep a close watch on the traitor and do not allow him to harm anyone if he wakes up. The rest of you are dismissed."

As the elves around him dispersed, Haldir took one last look at the traitor before getting up. His eyes turned now to the victim, who was sitting in silence with an elf kneeling at each side, holding her up, as well as a few other concerned loiterers who were standing behind them.

She looked ill, to say the least. Haldir bit his lip in concern as he approached her and found himself getting angrier and angrier by the second about what Erthalion had done. Such treason, an elf hurting an elf with a thirst for blood! How dare he! How dare he hurt the one he cared for so deeply!

"I have special jobs for you both." He commanded upon arriving a few feet away from the group. "Rumil, I need you to teach my Intermediate Knife Skills class for today. All you need to do is review some beginning skills. Feel free to dismiss them as soon as you are done; you need not fill the entire two hours. Heledhril, you are to wait here until Marchwarden Belegwen's next class arrives and inform them that their class will be postponed until further notice. I will escort Belegwen to the healer's talan immediately." He said, motioning for the two wardens to lift her to her feet.

Gently, Haldir lifted her chin in the same way that Heledhril had so she would look at him. "Can you walk at all?" He asked softly, looking into her eyes, which now seemed a little more focused than they had previously been. She nodded a bit, but when she tried to step away from Rumil and Heledhril, she almost collapsed, but was quickly caught in Haldir's arms. Cautiously, he lifted her into his arms and started to head towards the healer's talan at a fast walk. Really, he wanted to run because of her poor condition, but Haldir restrained himself, as jostling her around might make the situation worse.

He found himself suddenly looking down at her as he felt her grip the front of his tunic. "Am I hurting you?" He quickly questioned, noting that the look of pain in her eyes had returned.

She opened her mouth and tried to say something, but the only sound she could produce was a small rasping noise. Frowning even more, she shook her head no and then leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. After Haldir checked to make sure no one was looking, he caressed her arm a bit, trying to provide a bit of comfort to her in her time of need. "Everything is going to be okay." He whispered to her, "We are almost there."

About a minute later, Haldir reached Eltirwen's talan. Ever so carefully, Haldir ascended the stairs, trying his best not to let her feet drag against the side of the mallorn. The moment his feet reached the top of the wooden landing, he pushed through the door to Eltirwen's talan without knocking.

"ELTIRWEN!" He yelled loudly when he did not see her upon his entry into the talan. This, naturally, was followed by the sound of a gasp, glass breaking, and a few choice words that need not be repeated. A few moments later, Haldir could hear angry footsteps stomping towards him.

"Confound it all, Marchwarden Haldir! Why do you never knock before enter-oh!" Eltirwen exclaimed, forgetting all of her irritation towards Haldir upon seeing Belegwen. Shock filled her eyes as she rushed over to examine Belegwen's neck. "Oh! Oh dear Vala! Haldir, what happened?" She whispered, already noticeably upset about seeing the terrible marks that Belegwen bore on her neck.

"She was attacked and strangled." Haldir said, following Eltirwen as she motioned him towards one of the patient rooms in the talan. He hastily placed Belegwen down on the bed as Eltirwen grabbed three large, fluffy pillows from one of the room's closets and propped Belegwen up with them so that she was sitting in a reclined fashion. Haldir automatically stepped aside so that Eltirwen could do her work after she got Belegwen comfortable. Once she was done arranging Belegwen on the pillows, Eltirwen bent down to take a closer look at the colorful bruises that were adorning Belegwen's neck.

"Oh dear, it is swelling." She said softly to herself, the reached down to tenderly touch one of the marks, but when her fingers made contact with Belegwen's flesh, a sharp hiss was heard and Belegwen launched herself in the opposite direction, panic obvious in her eyes.

Eltirwen looked rather sad at this. Quietly, she looked Belegwen straight in the eyes and said in a soft voice, "I am so sorry this happened Belegwen. I shall do my very best to help heal you." Then, after giving her shoulder an encouraging squeeze, Eltirwen walked over to the large set of cabinets that were in the room and started rummaging through their contents until she had removed a few items.

"Okay my dear, first you need a spoonful of this. It tastes horrid, but it will help the swelling in your throat go down." Eltirwen stated, smiling at her as she poured a large spoonful of a thick, burgundy syrup and put it up to Belegwen's lips. "Tilt your head back a bit so that it will be easier to swallow."

Haldir watched as Belegwen grimaced when she swallowed. Apparently the pain would make it rather hard for her to ingest anything for a while. Guilt suddenly washed over Haldir at once. _"If only I had gotten there faster-"_

However, his grim thoughts only earned him a hefty slap on his shoulder. "Now is no time to be on a guilt trip. Here, you can administer four whiffs of this these smelling salts while I prepare her a bath." She commanded, surprising Haldir.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" He questioned quietly.

"I have only seen that face a thousand times before." Eltirwen said as she left the room. "Do not forget the smelling salts!" She called out from the hall.

ooOoo

From the bathtub, Belegwen could hear two voices whispering furiously to each other in the next room over. Craning her head back a bit, she tried to make sense of what they were saying, but found that she could not understand them, being slightly out of hearing range. Slowly, she let herself sink back into the steaming, herb-filled waters. She stared at her small figure as she laid down as well as she could in the small tub. Her body was wrapped in a soft navy blue sheet that had come off Eltirwen's bed in order to maintain her modesty, as Eltirwen had needed Haldir to carry her and set her down in the tub.

Not that he had not seen everything before, of course, but Eltirwen did not know about that.

Deciding that it was best not to think about Haldir at this time, Belegwen closed her eyes and tried her best to relax. However, when she shut her eyes, she saw Erthalion's eyes glaring back at her and she immediately snapped them back open again. Those eyes would haunt her dreams now.

He had tried to kill her, of this she had no doubt. She would not ever forget the feel of his hands around her neck, her burning lungs, the sea... For the first time in all of her long years, she had felt the sea calling to her and she had welcomed it at the time. Death had been so near that it scared her to think about it.

"Oh Vala." She whimpered to herself, pulling her legs close to her body and wrapping her arms around them protectively. Wanting to be even smaller, she leaned in more and rested her head against her legs now, curling into a ball. She did not move when she heard the other two elves enter her room again, as she was gravely upset.

Belegwen heard Eltirwen sigh as she felt the healer's hand rest upon the top of her head, stroking her dry part of her hair soothingly. "I'm sorry I have to do this, my dear. This will only take a minute." She said softly. Confused, Belegwen lifted her head to look at the healer, only to feel a great burning sensation as a rag with some sort of cream on it touched her neck.

"NO!" She rasped and maneuvered away from the healer who had inflicted pain upon her neck, splashing water out of the bath in the process.

She looked up at Eltirwen, totally bewildered, only to see her giving some sort of signal to Haldir with her eyes. Before she could move away, Belegwen felt his strong arms embrace her, holding her in place firmly. "I am sorry my dear, but this is for your own good. It will just take a second if you hold still." Eltirwen offered her, looking at her in a concerned fashion.

Her hand was reaching for Belegwen's neck again. Panicking once again, Belegwen struggled as much as she could, then yanked herself forward with all of her might to avoid the touch of the cloth.

This resulted in pandemonium.

A giant splash could be heard behind her as water seeped out of the tub when the Marchwarden of the Galadhrim was pulled in! Though slightly shocked that Haldir was in the tub with her, Belegwen continued to struggle against his iron grip. Water poured out of the tub while their bodies fought each other.

Finally, she found herself giving up though, as Haldir had managed to push her up against his chest and was now holding her there quite tightly. "Do it now Eltirwen!" He called out to her.

Again, Belegwen resisted him with all of her might, but it was to no avail. In her weakened state, she could not pull herself away from him. He was simply too powerful. Biting her lip, she writhed in pain as the cloth touched her neck, burning her battered neck with every stroke, no matter how light. She desperately wanted to cry, as the two elves tried to help her quickly, but she held it in. She could never cry in front of Haldir; he would think her weak and pathetic and Belegwen could not have that, not after she had earned his respect as a leader.

Finally, the pain subsided as the cloth was taken away. Still tensed up, Belegwen wheezed a bit, trying to catch her breath after all of her struggling. She felt Haldir's strong arms finally slacken a bit, but they did not fully let her go just yet.

"Haldir, are you okay?" She heard Eltirwen ask, sounding a bit worried. "It looked like it hurt when you were pulled into the water."

"I am fine." Belegwen heard him reply abruptly, feeling his chest rumble a bit as he said it. "Though I shall require some new clothes. I cannot walk through Caras Galadhon looking like this."

"Oh, very well. I shall go find a maid in the warden's hall and have her bring me some of your clothing. I will return quickly. Sit tight and do not get out of that tub until I get back and clean up all of this water! I do not want to treat more injuries when I get back because you slipped and fell! And yes, that means you Haldir!" She called out loudly, turning to point at Haldir for emphasis before she turned and carefully left the wet room.

Both wardens sat in silence, staying completely still until they heard Eltirwen's door open and close, signaling her exit from the talan. Then, both breathed a sigh of relief at the same time and sunk deeper into the tub, Haldir's arms wrapping around her once again and pulling her very close to him.

"Are you okay? Can you speak?" She heard him ask her, his lips touching her ear lightly as he questioned her.

Belegwen leaned into him as best as she could and tried to relax against his chest. "I think so, yes." She said, though she was immediately appalled by her warped voice that refused to raise its tone above a whisper. She frowned at this. "I sound terrible."

"You look terrible too. You should see that neck of yours; it is quite a sight to behold." Haldir said to her softly. "Are you certain you are okay? Can you breathe well?" He asked quickly, rubbing her stomach ever so gently in an attempt to comfort her.

Though he was trying to hide it, Belegwen could hear the worry in his voice. Smiling a bit, she slowly rotated to her side so she could look at him. She smiled even more at the sight; there he was, fully clothed in the bath, looking down at her with great intensely. Closing her eyes, she nuzzled into his neck. "I can breathe better than earlier, though it is not back to normal yet." She rasped softly, stroking his cheek and looking up at him, "There is no need to worry about me."

He now looked a little uneasy. She saw glistening in the corners of his eyes, unshed tears that were on the verge of falling. He held them in though, seemingly unwilling to let them fall in her presence currently. She stared into his eyes and saw that his walls were once again down. His very soul, pure and kind, was staring back at her and his worry for her was quite visible. "I though... I mean, it looked like you might…" He whispered after a while, raising a hand to stroke her cheek gently.

"I know," she whispered, placing her hand over his when it stopped moving on her cheek, "I heard the sea call out to me." She murmured in a haunted voice, her eyes widening as she remembered the terrible moment again. "I was scared."

"You had reason to be." He said softly, then bent down to kiss her. All he managed was a small peck before he pulled away though, as they both heard the door open, marking Eltirwen's return.

And the secret remained a secret for the time being.

ooOoo

"There." Haldir stated as he finished tucking Belegwen into her own bed. Eltirwen had released her an hour ago, saying that she would send special broths down to the dining hall for Belegwen to consume until her throat had recovered enough for her to have solid food. Other than her neck, there was nothing really wrong with her and so Haldir had escorted her back to her talan, despite the fact that he was still a little worried about leaving her alone for the night.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked her as he situated a small extra pillow under her neck, just as Eltirwen had instructed.

"Yes, please. I do not wish to be alone tonight." She whispered, looking a bit nervous. Immediately, she looked away from him. "I am sorry. I should not burden you with this."

"It is not a burden." Haldir said, shaking his head. "You are not a burden to me."

He quickly took off his tunic and undershirt, then tossed them aside before getting into the small bed with her, being careful not to disturb her neck. He laid down on his stomach and placed his arm around her, resting it just beneath her breasts. He turned his head to the side so he could look at her, but frowned when he saw that she was not happy.

"You must think me weak then, which is almost a worse predicament." She said sadly.

"Weak?" He questioned in disbelief. Quickly, he adjusted himself so he was holding up his weight on his elbows, then used one of his hands and lightly turned her head so that she was facing him. "Why would I think you weak? You are my second—you best me at swordplay all the time! You have never turned away from danger, but faced it with all of your strength and intellect. You have narrowly evaded death on several occasions, yet you still battle on, ever the warrior! My dearest Belegwen, you are by no means weak. Never have I thought that about you. Never." He said passionately, hoping to relieve some of her self-doubts.

A long time passed where she simply stared into his eyes, thinking about what he had said. Finally, a small smile touched the corners of her mouth. He smiled back at her and reached out to stroke her silvery hair, twisting a tendril around his finger after he ran his hand all the way to the bottom of the locks.

Silence reigned now. Slowly, he felt her shift in the bed and roll towards him, her lips caressing his and putting him into a state of pure ecstasy with their languid motions. They found a new rhythm on this night, softer and gentler than ever before. Slowly, they rolled over together as one, their bodies burning with desire for one another.

"I need you." She whispered softly before leaning up and bestowing him with another sensual kiss.

Haldir broke away from her kiss for a second after hearing this. "Are you certain?" He asked, questioning her with his eyes. Indeed, he knew she was not weak, but any elf would surely be tired and in pain after going through what she had endured during the day. He did not want to hurt her or inhibit her healing in any way.

"Yes!" She said more urgently now, grasping his buttocks and pulling him in as close to her body as she could. "Please Haldir, I need this. I need you." She rasped, desperation in her voice.

That was all the invitation that Haldir needed. With an arrogant grin on his face, he kissed her passionately, pulling her against him carefully as he caressed her back. All he could think about was pleasuring his lady. _"Yes,"_ he thought to himself, _"She is my sweet warden and all that I want."_

Haldir gave in. Long had he avoided thoughts about her being anything special to him, but looking down at her now as her face scrunched up with pleasure at his ministrations, he knew he would love no other.

He loved her.

Haldir shivered at the thought. It was all so new to him and overwhelming, yet he could not stop thinking about it as he touched her. What would it be like to have her at his side for all time? Was it possible? Would she want it?

He wanted it.

He wanted it badly.

As he joined with her on this night, he thought about marriage, even though he knew it was impossible. He thought about them being in public together, not having to guard their actions. He thought about elflings…

_Elflings_.

What Haldir did not know was that Belegwen was thinking about the exact same thing.


	28. A Crime Forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! Enjoy the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 28: A Crime Forgotten

Feeling a sudden and slow movement, Haldir quickly awoke from his reverie. He registered that it was still night outside, the moon high in the sky outside of the open terrace of the room that he and Belegwen were lying in, illuminating her pale skin as she twisted away from him to face the outside. Seeing this, Haldir frowned and scooted towards her, his nose nuzzling her ear through her silvery tresses as he embraced her once more.

"Belegwen," he whispered in her ear, "Why are you not asleep? You need your rest to heal."

She was silent and still for a few moments before finally turning her head back with a small wince to look at him. "I have too many things on my mind for sleep." She whispered softly, still rasping a bit, though not as badly as before.

He watched her as she settled her head back on the pillow with a sigh. "Will you tell me about it?" He asked her lazily, running his left hand down the side of her smooth body languidly.

"Haldir, earlier today during my fight with Erthalion…someone said something inside of my head, but it was not Galadriel." She whispered, sounding rather distressed. "It was a male voice."

Haldir cocked his eyebrow at this. "Belegwen, there are no ellyn in Lothlorien who have that gift." He said, settling his hand on her thigh.

"I know," she whispered back, sounding uneasy, "but it is what I heard. I am certain of this."

"What did the voice say?" Haldir asked quietly.

"The voice told me to trip Erthalion. I could no longer think clearly at that point, so I just did as I was told." She whispered almost inaudibly, visibly haunted by the thought. She paused for a moment, before adding, "Haldir, I trusted that warden... and..."

In response to feeling her shiver, Haldir lifted himself up onto an elbow to look at her face. She was blinking repeatedly, trying to keep the glistening water in her eyes from falling. Haldir had never seen her cry before and was at a loss of what to do. He thought back to the time when she had confronted him at Orophin's grave. There, he had grasped her tightly for comfort. With this in mind, Haldir gently flipped her over so that she was facing him again, though she refused to meet his eyes. He pulled her close and attempted to rub her back, but was surprised when she pulled away.

"I do not need comfort." She stated coldly, sitting up quickly and once again facing away from him. "Nothing is wrong with me. I should go practice before I teach my class tomorrow."

Haldir watched as her naked form left the bed. Normally, seeing her bathed in moonlight like this would have brought him great pleasure, but he could tell that she was terribly upset and that bothered him. "It is the middle of the night," he protested calmly, "You need your rest Belegwen. Come back to bed."

However, it was as if she had not heard him, for she started to get dressed, quickly pulling a pair of clean breaches from her closet after putting on a clean undershirt. In a matter of moments she was dressed and sloppily braiding the top of her hair, wearing it as she always had in the past.

"Belegwen," he pleaded, not wanting her to leave, especially not when she was angry with him or scared or whatever it was that she had previously been feeling. Haldir did not know and she would not tell him! He watched helplessly as she flew out the door of her talan as swiftly as she could manage.

Distressed at her rapid change of emotions, Haldir sighed and laid back down on her bed, staring at the ceiling in silence. It looked like it was going to be a long, lonely night.

ooOoo

A shadow tore through the night at a speed unmatched by most. Crying, Belegwen found herself fleeing past the practice field and quickly approaching the edge of the city. All reason had left her mind and the sharp branches of shrubs and trees tore at her exposed hands and face as she carelessly ran off the path.

Belegwen had no specific destination in mind, but was not surprised when she found herself slowing down at the edge of the city. Finally coming to a stop, she bent down to catch her breath, then quickly stood up, remembering it was easier to catch one's breath in an upright position. When she finally looked up and registered where she was though, she immediately fell to her knees, a new wave of pain hitting her head-on.

It was her family's old talan. She had not come here in years, but her feet had led her here against her will tonight. Belegwen shuddered as her eyes slowly looked up, following the weathered mallorn trunk up into the foliage and dreading what she would see next.

It was still there. The little wooden talan with a veranda that wrapped all the way around it still stood prominently in the silver mallorn tree where it had always been. The windows were all dark, nestled in their wooden frames, which were slightly warped from wear and lack of care over the years. No one had wanted to live in this talan, not after the gruesome deaths that had occurred there.

Nobody had ever thought that orcs could make it all the way into the city, but when a huge attack occurred at the borders, a few had gotten away and Belegwen's talan was the first one that they had come to, since it was on the edge of the city.

…and the rest was history.

Overwhelmed, Belegwen succumbed to all of the pain she had been holding inside of herself and broke down for a second time that night. Slowly, she crawled on her knees towards the great mallorn that held her old home and put her arms around it, her left cheek resting against the warm bark.

"Oh ada," she whispered softly, "Why is everything going wrong?"

ooOoo

In the early morning, Haldir found himself wandering through Galadriel's garden, deep thoughts running through his head. Though it was close to morning, the sky was still black and the stars were still glistening from the heavens.

Haldir frowned as he thought of Belegwen once again. After waiting in her bed for a while, he had dressed and walked out to the practice field with the hopes of finding her there, but he had no such luck. In fact, Haldir had walked all of the main pathways in Lothlorien and had not found any trace of her. He was beginning to think she had run off into the forest again, though it was really an unsafe practice for her to do in the middle of the night, especially when no one knew where she was headed.

 _"Oh dear Vala,"_ he thought to himself as he realized that he really did love her. He could not stop thinking about her. All he desired was that she was back in her talan, safe and with him. However, Haldir was uncertain if he could voice his desire to be with her, as she was a full-blown marchwarden, second only to him. She would not even allow herself to cry in front of him, let alone be coddled. Not that he really wanted to coddle her anyway—it would kill her spirit of independence, strength, and determination. No, he would not see her melt away into the cocoon she had once been trapped in. He loved her just the way she was.

And there was that pesky 'L-word' again.

Love. It still made Haldir uneasy to think about it. He could hardly believe that after all of these long years, he really had found an elleth that he really cared about. Well, assuming that she felt the same way, of course. Right now, he was not so sure. Less than a week ago, she had all but begged for him to hold her and comfort her during the night, but tonight when she had seemingly needed him the most, she had pushed him away and refused his offer of comfort. He did not understand her change of heart and it hurt him that she would not cry in front of him, as he had lowered his guard enough to do it in front of her—more than once too, if he remembered correctly.

Frustrated, Haldir sighed and sat himself down on a small white bench whose marble legs were intricately carved into flowering vines, curving around each other in an almost natural way. He looked at all of the beauty around him before putting his face down into his cupped hands.

What if she did not love him back?

As sadness overtook his normally strict demeanor, he raised his head up and found himself looking at the night-opening bluebells that were growing on the other side of the stone path. Haldir smiled sadly as he found himself approaching them, getting onto his knees to see them better.

"Beautiful at night, but hidden from the world during the day; just like us." He whispered to himself, staring at the small blue flowers. Without a second thought, Haldir plucked a couple of small blossoms off the plant and held them in his hand as he continued down the path which led to the garden's exit. His mind went blank as he walked. He found himself watching the first light of day appear, a light blue tint entering the sky, making way for the sun that would soon follow.

Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, he found himself in front of her talan door. Having been daydreaming while walking, he had not been paying attention to where he was going. After quickly checking to make sure no one was around, Haldir slipped through her door silently, hoping that perhaps she had returned while he was away.

No such luck. The room looked exactly as he left it; there were no signs that she had returned during the night. Silently, he approached the bed, mentally picturing her laying there as she had at the beginning of the night, her body sprawled out wildly after their pleasure seeking. Smiling at the thought, he suddenly remembered the flowers. He lifted his hand up and opened his fist to view them again. Though one was a bit smashed, the other was still quite lovely.

Gently, he laid them down on her pillow. Whether she would appreciate them or not, Haldir did not know. He needed to make things right between them, no matter what. The misconceptions needed to be cleared up so that they could flourish together.

ooOoo

Rumil sighed as he sat sullenly in the darkened healer's talan. Black thoughts brewed in his mind as he guarded the elf who laid unmoving on the bed. Slowly, the softest glow was starting to come into view from the window that was across the room from him, the sun's first rays turning the dark blue sky back into its paler form.

After going into a slight daze for a couple of minutes, he shook his head violently, mentally chastising himself for falling asleep on the job. It was a very important job too, guarding Erthalion, for the healers certainly could not defend themselves very well against any vicious attacks, should he woke up in a fit of rage. However, everything had been quite peaceful for the past 12 hours, as he had yet to wake up. He was still out cold from the wallop that Marchwarden Belegwen had dealt him!

Hearing nearly silent footsteps approaching the room from the hallway, Rumil rotated his whole body around to face the room's dark entranceway as the door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Eltirwen. She was still in her nightgown, though she had wrapped herself up in a navy blue satin robe which had delicate white flowers embroidered on the edges.

"Good morning, Eltirwen." Rumil said, tilting his head down in a slight greeting as the elleth looked at him, returning his smile with a charming one of her own.

"Good morning to you as well, Rumil." She said, cautiously approaching Erthalion's bedside. "Have their been any changes in the past few hours?" She asked softly as she gently touched the bandage that covered Erthalion's severed ear, lifting it to see how the healing process was coming along.

Rumil let out a small snort of amusement. "No, this job has been about as interesting as watching paint dry." He said while stretching his arms, then relaxing them behind his head as he watched Eltirwen check Erthalion's other wounds. He was just leaning back to get in a more relaxing position when Eltirwen suddenly gasped and backed away from the bed.

Upon seeing this, Rumil immediately jumped up and in a second was at the edge of the bed, signaling the other warden into the room from his station outside of the door with a small whistle. Immediately, the other warden bounded in.

Heledhril. Since he was such a good mediator and had even at one time considered himself a close friend with Erthalion, it had only made sense that he helped in the guarding process. Perhaps he would be able to say the right words to calm the ellon down.

"Eltirwen!" Rumil cried, "Quick! Send for Haldir!" He exclaimed, watching as she immediately exited the room.

Each warden took one side of the bed and stared down at Erthalion intensely. His breathing was no longer even, which was a sign that he was rousing. The two watched as the elf slowly started to move, his head rolling towards Rumil, shutting and scrunching up his open eyes as the pain of his injuries started to register to him. Then, his unhurried eyes cracked open again, though they looked rather unfocused, as if he was still in a haze.

He muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, then with shaky arms, tried to rise. However, both Rumil and Heledhril grabbed one of his shoulders and thrust him back down onto the bed mercilessly, causing him to moan in pain.

"Do not try to move. You are being detained." Rumil commanded, staring into Erthalion's hazy and comfused eyes with intense distaste.

"What?" Erthalion mumbled, finally managing to focus his eyes on Rumil. Again he tried to rise, only to be brutally pushed back down on the bed by the wardens with sullen looks on their faces.

"I said not to move!" Rumil repeated even more harshly than before, anger rising within him as he thought of the rainbow that adorned Marchwarden Belegwen's neck because of the mad fool that was lying beneath his grasp. "It would be wise for you to heed my warning Erthalion." He said in a dangerously low voice, spitting out his name at the end of his sentence with disgust.

"But, what has...happened?" He whispered, pausing in mid-sentence as he turned his face away from Rumil and towards Heledhril. "Heledhril?"

Rumil looked at Heledhril, only to see that the young warden's face looked slightly perplexed at the question he had been asked. "You have committed a terrible crime Erthalion. You know of what I speak." He stated solemnly, though his eyebrows were drawn in confusion.

"No, I do not." He repeated, his breaths becoming shallow as he started to fully comprehend what was going on around him. "What is this crime you speak of?" His face now contorted into a look of panic as he whispered, "What have I done?"

Undiluted fury rose up in Rumil at this question and he lost control of himself. "You are sick! Deny it all you want, warden, but you will get what you deserve! In fact, I daresay that this will be the last time anyone calls you warden, for when my brother gets here, you will be stripped of your position and much more!"

Erthalion's only reaction to this was to stare at Rumil in shock. This irritated Rumil even more. Rage overtaking him again, Rumil slapped his right hand against the bedside table, causing all of the contents to rattle and clang as they jumped up with moment, a few even clattering to the floor. "Stop playing this game!" He said, enraged and with a loud voice. "You think I am angry? If you continue this game for the marchwarden, I would guess that you are a fool indeed."

Rumil held up his hand to smack the table again in frustration, only to stop as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Rumil, my friend," Heledhril started, his eyes full of concern and his voice soft and soothing, "Please calm down. We must stay focused on our task." He paused, looking as though he was choosing his words carefully, "I am uncertain, but I think he might be telling the truth."

Those soft words burned Rumil's ears. Telling the truth?! He glared at Heledhril and started to retort, only to stop in his tracks as Marchwarden Haldir appeared in the doorway.

ooOoo

As Haldir looked at the traitor from the doorway, he maintained his cool exterior, despite the fact that he was burning inside with a passionate rage. He wanted to strangle the elf and give him a little taste of the pain he had inflicted upon Belegwen. Deep down, Haldir knew that revenge was a very dark path though, and so he fought against his desires, remaining honorable and true to the best of his ability.

"Erthalion." He stated calmly as he entered the room wearing his sternest, most intimidating face. He approached slowly, head held high with the arrogance that he was well-known for.

This did not have its desired effect on Erthalion though. In the early morning light, he looked more confused than anything else, though there was a bit of fear in his eyes too. "Wait, are you…" He asked, looking rather uncertain, "I think there has been a misunderstanding."

No longer able to keep up his act of patience, Haldir grabbed a chunk of Erthalion's dark hair and yanked his head up off of the table, causing him to yelp in pain. "Misunderstanding?" Haldir hissed into his ear. "I do not believe you!"

"You are hurting me! Please desist!" He cried out. "There has been a mistake! I do not know what I have done!"

Haldir looked at Erthalion. His eyes were squished in pain as he held his head up by his hair. The covered cut across his head had started to bleed, staining the white bandage going across his forehead. No longer calm, Haldir knew he needed to restrain himself. He let go of his hair and let his head fall back onto the bed, which made Erthalion groan with pain.

"You do not know what you have done? You have broken the first rule of all Elvendom! You have purposely hurt another elf, you fool! Now, admit your crimes, liar! You do not want to try my patience any longer." Haldir stated sternly, staring at the elf and waiting for answers.

Erthalion, now breathing deep, uneven breaths in pain, looked up in total dread of what was going on around him. He froze for a moment, but then, in a low and shaky voice replied, "Sirs, whatever I am guilty of, please just charge me with it. I have no doubt that I have done something wrong because of the way you are treating me. You must understand though, I do not know what I did! I do not remember."

Again, Haldir found himself totally incensed at the audacity of this elf to deny his claim. He was about to lose his cool again, when he felt two lithe hands grab onto his arm. He looked over his shoulder to see a scared Eltirwen, still clad in her nightwear, clutching his arm.

"Haldir, please stop! There is a possibility that he is telling the truth."

ooOoo

Quietly, as the sun rose, a desolate figure ascended the staircase that led through the warden's halls. Step after step, Belegwen silently walked up the marble stairs at a slow pace, holding the railing stiffly, as she could barely stand.

Indeed, she had gotten no sleep last night, as well as no remorse and no comfort. She had cried out all of her pain, but still she had felt a great hurt within herself that was unquenchable by any of her own comforting methods. After she wept, she had marched down to the training field and in her disheveled state, had worked out all of her energy and anger until she was too tired to feel anything.

 _"...and now,"_ she thought to herself as she grabbed a few stray strands of hair and pulled them away from her face so that she could see, _"it is time for me to sleep."_

Finally reaching her door, she pushed her way in and immediately started to strip down. Once naked, she covered her body with a clean, white satin robe and was about to head down the stairs again to the bathing pool, when something strange and out of place caught her eye.

Flowers?

Belegwen wearily walked over to her messy bed. On top of her pillow were two small blue flowers. Gently, she took the two blossoms in her hand and inspected them curiously. Though one was a bit squished, it was still quite lovely.

Did Haldir do this?

Belegwen could hardly believe it, if so. It was not unusual for an elleth who was courting an ellon to receive a bouquet of flowers, but Haldir was surely not courting her, was he?

But if they were not from him, then where did they come from?

A small smile graced her lips as she thought it over. If they really were from Haldir, what did it mean? Had he really not wanted her to leave last night? Was there really something lingering between them?

Suddenly, Belegwen gasped and jumped as someone knocked on her door. "Come in," She called, turning towards the door, smiling, assuming that Haldir was on the other side. However, her smile turned into a look of confusion as a worried-looking Rumil entered into her room cautiously. She stood there stunned for a moment, just staring at him.

"Marchwarden," he said, starting to report immediately after quickly looking her over, "an issue has come up that needs your attention."

"What has happened Rumil?" Belegwen asked, forgetting about the flowers that were still cradled in her hand after hearing Rumil's worried voice.

"Erthalion has finally awoken. He does not remember attacking you, Belegwen." He said softly, with a sad look in his eyes.

Belegwen's mouth opened in shock, her jaw quivering a bit as her eyes widened, a multitude of emotions passing over her face as the many implications of the situation crossed her mind. Everything went silent around her as she went into shock.

The flowers fell from her hand and onto the ground, utterly forgotten.


	29. Judgments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! Enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 29: Judgments

Two smashed flowers were unknowingly kicked out the doorway of Belegwen's talan as she raced out, once again dressed in her training clothes. Rumil had been waiting for her and now the two of them raced down the stairway and into the morning air. The sun was peeking through a light mist, awakening a glorious morning, but both of them were too occupied by their running to notice it.

Through the city they weaved, dodging early risers who were walking along the paths of Caras Galadhon as they ran towards the healer's talans. "It is the one to the left of Eltirwen's!" Rumil called to her as their destination came into view.

Belegwen ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. Rumil quickly followed, doing the same. Once she was on the veranda, Belegwen ungracefully barged in, opening the door so fast that it slammed against the opposite wall, scaring the two healers who were sitting out in the common area. Both of them jumped and one nearly spilled her cup of tea, but quickly steadied it with her other hand before the contents could fall to the floor.

The elleth who was not holding a cup of tea quickly pointed down the hallway to direct Belegwen to the room, her eyes still rather wide with surprise. Belegwen quickly walked over to the door, then stopped before going in, a look of doubt passing over her face. However, she was not given a moment to compose herself, as Rumil smacked carelessly into her back and pushed her into the room.

Belegwen's eyes went wide as everyone stared at her and Rumil as they stumbled into the room. There were a lot more elves here than she had expected: Haldir, Heledhril, Eltirwen, Celeborn, and a few other wardens of high rank stood around the bed, most looking rather irritated. The only elf that did not look Belegwen's way was the Lady Galadriel herself. Her head was tilted downward to face a bedridden Erthalion, one of her lithe hands upon his forehead. Her eyes were closed with concentration.

A few whispers wafted through the room as Belegwen took a few more steps in, trying her best to hide her fear by keeping a straight face. Immediately, Lord Celeborn approached her and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, blocking her view of Erthalion. "May I have a word with you in the hallway?" He whispered, trying not to distract his wife's concentration.

Belegwen nodded and was quickly guided into the hallway. When she turned around to face Celeborn, she was not surprised to find that his face was no longer calm, but worried. They stood there for a moment in silence as Celeborn inspected her neck.

She knew what was coming next.

"I see you have been gravely injured again Belegwen." Celeborn stated, gently grasping her shoulders as his sad face looked down at her. He paused for a moment before continuing. "It does not have to be this way." He whispered. "Please give it up. I do not want to see you suffer any more."

Silently, Belegwen hung her head down and stared at the wooden floorboards below her. Though Lord Celeborn had a very special place in her heart, Belegwen disliked having this sort of talk with him. Almost every time that she was gravely injured, she knew this talk would not be far behind.

A talk about her no longer being a warden.

No, Lord Celeborn was not a sexist in any way; he simply cared about her too much and did not want her to get hurt. Though few people remembered, it was Lord Celeborn who had taken care of Belegwen after her family had been massacred. In fact, Belegwen knew that she had filled a certain void in his heart that had been created when his real daughter, Celebrian, had left Arda for the shores of Valinor.

In fact, it was Lord Celeborn who had initially trained her to be a warden. All along, Celeborn had not wanted her to join, but when Lady Galadriel had finally given into her pleas, he had indeed trained her without holding back, thinking that she would give up on the notion if he was hard on her.

How wrong he was. Lord Celeborn's plan backfired greatly. The harder he had pushed Belegwen during training, the harder she had worked, being utterly determined to prove herself as good a fighter as any ellon. Because of this, she quickly passed the tests and became a warden, much to Celeborn's dismay. He had wanted a different life for her, one more suited to an elleth and had offered to find instructors to teach her arts, such as sewing, cooking, gardening, and music. Belegwen had refused though because those things did not interest her. Defending Caras Galadhon was in her blood and after she became a warden, there was no turning back.

"Lord Celeborn, you know I cannot grant you that. I am Haldir's second now and I have worked very hard for it. I will be fine. You need not worry about me." She said softly, looking at him with disappointed eyes. Would he ever stop asking her to quit?

"Oh, but I cannot stop myself from worrying, my dear. I helped raise you Belegwen. You never stray too far from my thoughts." He whispered, looking a bit ashamed for admitting such a weakness. "You have chosen to spend your life as a warden, but things keep happening to you." He said, reaching out to touch her neck, only to have her pull away from his touch. This saddened him even more. "Accidents keep happening Belegwen. Soon you will go into battle," he murmured, pausing for a second, "But will you return?"

She did not know.

ooOoo

Haldir watched the bed closely as Lady Galadriel finally opened her eyes, slowly raising her head as she took her delicate hand off Erthalion's forehead. She had an unreadable look in her eyes as her gaze met Haldir's. Slowly, she shook her head and then looked back down at Erthalion, who had also opened his eyes and was staring at her, awaiting his verdict.

"Haldir, he is telling the truth." She whispered, sending a chill up Haldir's spine as the implication of this was quickly worked out in his mind. "I cannot find any memory of the events that took place, nor can I find the malice that was surely harbored in his heart over the situation. It is gone, or at least far beyond my reach."

The room was silent for a few moments before Haldir spoke up, "But you cannot guarantee that it is completely gone?"

"No, I cannot." She replied softly, still looking at Erthalion and delving deep into his eyes with her stare as she tried again to pick up any little sign or hint that something was amiss. Haldir's eyes narrowed into slits. He could not believe this was happening! He was infuriated with what Erthalion had done and now the perpetrator could not even remember his crime! Frustrated, Haldir turned and faced the wall for a moment, one hand covering his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. However, he turned right back around when he sensed the others reentering the room.

Haldir frowned even more when he saw them because they both looked a little more rattled than before. Lord Celeborn seemed to have a slight uneasiness to his stature that was not normally there and Belegwen looked terrible, to be quite honest. She had appeared to be nervous when she had entered at first, with dark rings that ran underneath her eyes, exposing her lack of sleep to the world. She had looked weary the evening before, but she looked even more so now, her face drooping as she looked around the room and took in the scene that was before them.

She looked so downtrodden and defeated at the moment. Though it would not be noticeable to the average elf, Haldir could see small flashes of fear come and go from her face as she looked Erthalion. There was a clear uneasiness in her demeanor too. She was shifting her weight from foot to foot as though she did not have the power to stand still at the moment. Inwardly, Haldir felt himself crumble—how dare Erthalion place such insecurity within her heart! Haldir internally felt pain for her and her situation, though one never would have guessed it from his tall and powerful stance.

He watched as Galadriel slowly approached Belegwen and took both of her hands in her own as she broke the news to her. "Belegwen, I have searched his memories and I cannot find any trace of the anger and hatred that he had originally harbored towards you. One cannot tell what the future may hold, but for now, the memories are gone." She said, squeezing Belegwen's hands in an attempt to reassure her, though Belegwen's eyes had gone wide and her face had paled.

"I know this will be hard for you, Belegwen, but the chore of administering his punishment has fallen upon you, as you are the victim of the atrocity. I know you will choose fairly and wisely. Take your time to think it through. We shall wait here until you have made your decision and will be the witnesses. You may go into another room and think if you wish." Galadriel said to a clearly overwhelmed Belegwen, indicating the door with her outstretched hand. "Go now and choose wisely."

"But I am not skilled at such things, my lady!" She protested, her face curving into a look of shock as she tried to talk Galadriel out of this. "I do not know what to have him do! I…" She said, trailing off as she saw the look that Galadriel gave her.

There was no way out of this for her.

Utterly defeated, Haldir watched as she left the room to go and think.

ooOoo

Avoiding the questioning glances she was receiving from the two healers in the front room who were peering down the hallway, trying to eavesdrop on the conversations that were taking place, Belegwen walked all the way to the end of the hallway and entered a patient room that was thankfully empty. Completely confused and lost, Belegwen laid down on the plain bed that situated in the middle of the room and stared at the ceiling for a long time, her mind going blank as she forced herself to calm down. After having counted the ceiling boards 10 times, she rolled over and stared at the sheer white curtain that was blowing inside the room from the balcony, blocking her view of the morning.

 _"He does not remember."_ She thought to herself over and over again. Could she really bestow punishment upon an elf who did not remember his crime? Part of her wanted revenge of the foulest nature, but the other half begged for her to just let it go. Guilt filled Belegwen's heart as she thought about him serving her punishments, but not ever really knowing why he had strangled her in the first place. _"I do not know if I could live with the guilt of that."_

She frowned, and rolled onto her back again, her arms flopping over her head as she stared up at the ceiling. _"Why is it me that has to give the verdict? Why cannot Haldir, who is more experienced with such things, decide his punishment?"_ She thought, pausing for a second. _"What would Haldir sentence him to if it were his task?"_

Belegwen had no idea. The elves of Caras Galadhon rarely ever did any wrong and those who did were often asked to complete community service hours, which were more of an annoyance than a punishment. Their crimes had been very small though, unlike this atrocity. The only thing Belegwen could think of that was appropriate for the crime that Erthalion had committed was banishment. Would it be banishment from Caras Galadhon though, or from all of elvendom?

Belegwen did not know. Though she did not want to bequeath a punishment that was too harsh, he had tried to murder her. If she sent him to another place, like Imladris, was it possible that he would commit another foul crime on some other elf? And what if some of those elves had not found out who he was and what he was capable of? If she warned them about his crime, would they even accept him in another realm?

Belegwen did not wish for any other unsuspecting elleth or ellon to endure the same trial she had faced. What if another elleth was not as lucky as she was. What if another elleth was not strong enough to fight back?

She shivered at the thought. _"I cannot send him to the other realms. I do not wish for any other ellyth or ellyn to get hurt. If he is capable of violence once, he will be capable of doing it again. No one else will suffer my fate. No one."_

Unfortunately, the connotation of what she just said meant that she could not banish Erthalion at all. If she sent him away, he could go live in the world of men and women or elsewhere. Women and other creatures could be vulnerable to his violence too. He was an immortal. How many women could he abuse during his eternity on Arda?

 _"No. I cannot banish him. He will stay here where Haldir and I can keep a close eye on him. If he becomes violent again, at least I know that I will stand a chance against him. Haldir could also take him down if such a thing were to happen again. I will not push him away to others when he is our responsibility. We will deal with him here."_ She thought to herself, nodding a bit as she sat up and stared at her feet intensely.

_"In fact, his punishment shall be that he can never leave Caras Galadhon unless he is called to war or accompanied by Haldir or some other wardens who would be able to keep a constant watch over him. I will also have him swear an oath to the Valar that he shall not act in violence against a fellow elf again, giving them permission to deal with him as they wish if he was to break his vow."_

Belegwen stood now, satisfied with her answer. Erthalion would not lose all of his freedom, which was okay because he did not remember his malice. If he did eventually remember, however, he would be detained and under the Valar's authority. Nodding to herself as she furrowed her eyebrows, she walked down the hallway and entered the room again, this time looking powerful and full of authority.

She walked right up to him and his eyes widened with fear when he saw the look on her face. "Erthalion, I sentence you to stay here in Caras Galadhon unless you are escorted by wardens who have the power to detain you at any moment if you act violently. You must also take an oath to the Valar, once you are healed, stating that you will never act out violence against a fellow elf again, putting your fate into the hands of the Valar, lest you break your vow." She stated firmly, looking around the room at everyone else's faces. "You are all the witnesses of this ruling. So it is said, so it is done." She finished, nodding to Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn out of respect.

"No." Haldir said, as everyone turned their heads to face him. "That is not justice!" He looked both shocked and infuriated at what she had just said. He looked around at the others to support him, but everyone was too shocked to say anything. Finally, he looked to Lady Galadriel, who was walking towards him.

"Haldir, justice has been served today. It is done." Galadriel said, looking into his eyes almost pleadingly. However, Haldir ignored this and stormed over to where Belegwen was standing, but she blatantly turned and walked out of the room before he could reach her, a storm of emotions rolling over her as she heard his thunderous footsteps following her through the corridor.

ooOoo

"Belegwen! Belegwen!" Haldir called after her as she ran down the stairs of the talan and walked away from him as fast as she possibly could. Haldir would not tolerate such behavior though; his anger at the entire situation boiled his blood. He jumped down the remaining steps and, quick as lightning, grabbed her arm and started to pull her into the forest, staying away from the path so that they could talk privately. Though Belegwen said nothing, she tried to yank her arm away from him as best she could until he finally stopped and let go of her. She fell to the forest floor, but quickly got up, her anger at him very evident in her eyes and face.

He ignored this. "How could you?!" He hissed, turning around to start pacing as he did when he was irritated or vexed. "He hurt you! He might do it again! You should have banished him and you did not!"

Pulling a small twig from her hair and throwing it to the ground violently, she replied, "Because Haldir, if he attacked me, he could hurt other elves too! I will not have it! At least I have a chance of defending myself! Others would not be so lucky! He is detained here and that is why I chose what I did!" She cried out, clearly irritated that he was not happy with her choosing.

"You are the only one he wants to hurt! Heledhril has told me that he was upset about not getting promoted to second in command! If he remembers, he will try and kill you again! You have put yourself in danger!" Haldir boomed, grabbing the tops of her arms tightly for emphasis. "You are going to get yourself killed!"

A hand smacked his face, shocking Haldir as she deftly yanked herself out of his grasp. "Do not touch me!" She yelled, then quickly lowered her voice without losing the intensity that was in her eyes. "I am a warden Haldir! You told me last night that you thought I was strong, yet now you contradict yourself by implying that I cannot defend myself! What is wrong with you?! You lied to me last night!"

"It would be dangerous to any warden! I would not want anyone putting themselves in unnecessary danger as you have!" He spat, getting louder with every word he said. "I do not want you to get hurt!"

"As a warden, Haldir, I must put others before myself!" She shrieked back at him, pushing him away with one arm. "I thought you of all people would recognize the importance of that!"

"You are wrong!" He roared, turning as if he wanted to start pacing again, but then coming back to add more. "There are warriors in all of the other realms! With a simple warning, they could have protected their inhabitants if necessary, but I do not think it would be. He was only after you. He only had a reason to attack you!"

"And what do you think he would do with the next elf or man who stood in his way? Offer to talk it out?! That is insane, Haldir! His actions will not change! He has the potential to be violent again! Heledhril knows the warning signs! We can watch over him here and intervene if he starts to behave badly!"

"Yes, once you have been murdered in cold blood we will all realize what a terrible mistake has been made here today and we will indeed intervene. A lot of good that will do though!" He said, sarcasm flowing from his lips easily as he glared at her. "Why can you not see you are in danger?"

"Why can you not see that I am a mature warden who is capable of handling the situation?!" She said, now becoming louder than Haldir. "Anyway, I hit him extremely hard! I do not think he will be remembering anything about the whole ordeal anytime soon!"

"Yes, and so now he has the element of surprise on his side! If he slits your throat before anyone catches on that he remembers, we will not be able to save you!" He said, coming dangerously close to her again and reaching out to take her shoulders as he spoke to her with desperation. "You need to change your bidding Belegwen," he said, becoming a bit calmer than before when she did not resist his touch. "There is still time to make everything right." He said, chancing a small stroke of her face with his hand.

"Get out of my face." She whispered dangerously. "My decision is final."

With that said, she walked away from him. Frustrated, Haldir grabbed a fist-sized rock from the ground and shouted as he threw it as hard as he could in the opposite direction of Belegwen, then jerked himself back around to watch her fade into the distance.

ooOoo

Belegwen stared at the stairs she was ascending slowly as she attempted to rub her knotted hair dry with her towel. Having just returned from her evening bath, Belegwen's mood was tainted with sadness and her body was utterly weary. For the life of her, she could not get the argument with Haldir out of her mind. In her heart, she felt a terrible pain eating away at her. Belegwen did not like having him mad at her. It hurt that he did not think her judgment was adequate though. He had not believed her when she told him about the male voice that had been in her head during her skirmish with Erthalion either. Would he ever believe what she told him? Would he ever trust her opinion?

She sighed, blinking away tears once again as she continued to go up the stairs. Her emotions were all so mixed up right now that she had no idea what to think anymore. The only thing she did know was that she was going to be terribly lonely tonight, in bed all alone because of her disagreement with Haldir.

"Belegwen?" She heard a soft voice question. She hesitated before looking up to see a rather concerned Rumil in front of her, inspecting her face and demeanor with great scrutiny. He was clad in only his white robe, just like her, though he was headed down to the bathing pool and she was headed back up from it. "Are you well?" He asked gently, looking into her eyes.

Belegwen looked down again quickly, her lip quivering. She knew that if she answered him, she would start to cry and she refused to do that. He must have sensed this though, as she felt his arms envelop her into a small hug. "You go through a hard time right now, meldir." He whispered as he let her go and stood back to try and look at her face. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Hesitating only for a moment, Belegwen gave a quick nod of her head, though she never looked up from the floor. She felt Rumil's hand gently touch the small of her back as he started to lead her up the stairs. "Come along—I will try my best to help you put everything in perspective." He said softly as he opened the door to his own room and led her in.

"Take a seat, Marchwarden." He said, his hand gesturing her over to the bed, which was the only thing he had to sit on in the room. Belegwen hesitated for a second, thinking that she was invading his personal space, but before she could protest, he had led her over there and they both sat down together, side by side. Gently, he took both of her hands in his and held them close together, giving them a small squeeze of reassurance.

Finally, she looked up and met his eyes. "You need not call me marchwarden when we are not working Rumil. If we are going to be friends, you should call me Belegwen." She said softly, then bowed her head down again, trying her best to hide the terrible pain that was in her heart right now.

"Very well Belegwen, that I will do. Now tell me, what has my brother Haldir said that has upset you?" He asked.

Belegwen gasped upon hearing Haldir's name and looked up in surprise, causing Rumil to have a small chuckle over the shocked expression that adorned her face. "Why are you so surprised, dear Belegwen? Everyone could hear you both screaming at each other in the woods, though none dared to get close enough to hear what was actually being said. I have been worried about you all day, for I know my brother can be very stubborn sometimes. Tell me what he said." Rumil urged, smiling a bit. "Do not worry, you can say whatever you want about him and I will not tell. I promise."

So encouraging were his words that Belegwen found it impossible not to open up to her new friend. "Haldir does not think I have given the right punishment to Erthalion. He thinks I should have banished him, as he is worried that I have put myself in unnecessary danger. He said that Erthalion could surprise me if his memories return and attack me. He would not hear one word of what I had to say about the reasoning behind my choice. It is as if he cannot accept that his way may not always be the only way to do something."

"Ah, yes. Haldir is very pig-headed at times and always has been. Sometimes he just needs a little time to stop and think everything over. I am certain he will see the value in your choice. I was talking with the other wardens earlier and we could not figure out why Haldir did not like your plan. They thought it was quite admirable how you have put the safety of others before the safety of yourself. In this action, you have shown the qualities that every good warden strives to have, meldir. Give Haldir time to mull over it. He will come around with time." Rumil said, then started to look a bit more sad. "But you… Is this choice one that you can live with? Are you going to be able to tolerate seeing he who has abused you around the training area and potentially working alongside you?"

Her shoulders started to shake as she looked at the ground again. "I do not understand why the Valar have allowed this to happen Rumil." She said, starting to break down more and more with every word, but somehow managing to keep her tears at bay, though her voice had an undeniable raised quality and shakiness to it that is often common in elleths who are crying. "I wanted him to come to justice, but he does not remember his crime! If he remembered, I could have easily given him what he rightly deserved, but not this way! I could not live with the guilt of having given him a grave punishment when he does not even remember committing the crime. I just could not bear to do it..." She said, trailing off as she sniffled a bit.

Suddenly, she felt Rumil's arms around her once more, comforting her by stroking her hair as she remembered her naneth once doing, so very long ago. As he gently held her, her breathing slowly calmed and she felt the tears in her eyes recede. Finally, she pulled away and looked him in the eyes. "Thank you Rumil. You are a good listener. I am proud to call you meldir." She said softly, managing to give him a small smile in return for all of his efforts.

"There is that smile I love," he said, smiling back at her as he lifted her head up by putting a couple of his fingers under her chin. "Think nothing of it."

"Rumil, I have brought back your long knives from…"

Both Belegwen and Rumil turned to see a very shocked Haldir, who had apparently just entered Rumil's room without knocking. All three stared at each other, totally flabbergasted. Belegwen watched as Haldir's jaw quivered a bit and the two sheathed long knives in his hands fell to the ground, creating two loud crashes.

Jumping at the sound, Belegwen was suddenly aware of everything. They were in Rumil's room, on Rumil's bed, clad in mere robes, sitting very close to one another with Rumil's hand underneath her chin, as if he was going to…

"No." She whispered, as Haldir finally pulled himself together, turned, and exited the room and went back down the stairway. "NO!" She yelled, standing up abruptly as she realized what Haldir must have been thinking.

Quickly, she ran out into the hallway and called out to him. "Haldir! It is not what you think! HALDIR!"


	30. Voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! We are officially halfway through the chapters, but there's still plenty more left to enjoy!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 30: Voices

"HALDIR!" Belegwen screamed down the dimly lit hallway, the blue-tinted light shining on her damp, uncombed hair as she made a mad dash down the stairs, ignoring curious onlookers who quickly stepped out of her way as she blew past them. By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, however, it was too late. He was nowhere to be seen, the moonlit path before her devoid of elves.

Still standing in the doorway, Belegwen gripped the right hand side of the entrance with both of her hands as she slowly sank to the ground, her head bowing down and damp knots of silvery tresses filling her vision and hiding all of the despair and pain that she bore within herself. Feeling overwhelmed again, Belegwen put a delicate hand over her mouth as she made a choking noise, holding in her sobs as best as she could and muffling those which she could not.

Soon she noticed the presence of another elf and quickly wiped away a few lone tears that had fallen, though she did not look up, not even when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Belegwen," she heard Rumil question her softly, "What just happened? I do not understand."

Upon hearing this, an alarm went off in Belegwen's head and her eyes widened dangerously as her mind searched quickly for an acceptable explanation for the incident. Rumil could not find out that she was breaking the rules with his older brother, whom he surely looked up to. "Well… Just the other night, Haldir complimented me on how I was able to become close with many of the wardens here without forming any romantic relationships. He caught us in a very interesting position, Rumil. I think he assumed the worst." She said slowly, risking a small look up at Rumil who was kneeling over her.

He looked shocked—sporting the same face that Haldir had when he walked in on them a few minutes ago. "You think Haldir believes us to be in a... a romantic relationship?" Rumil stuttered, "But that is against the rules!"

"I know! Rumil, what if our jobs are risk?" Belegwen said, playing along with what Rumil had said to try and get any assumptions of her relationship with Haldir out of Rumil's head. She gave him the best fearful face she could pull off, though she really was afraid, just not for what Rumil thought. Her heart was hammering in her chest at an unnaturally quick pace as she thought of Haldir never talking to her again. What if he would not listen to her reasoning? What if he did not believe her when she told him the truth?

"No! Do not panic Belegwen!" Rumil stated, probably more to himself than to her, despite the fact that he was holding her face in his hands. Quickly, he stood up and she followed his lead. "This is all just a big misunderstanding." He said, starting to pace in the way that Haldir often did, "Once Haldir calms down, he will surely listen to reason. I will seek him out tomorrow morning and clear this mess up. Do not worry meldir, I am certain that everything will be just fine." He said, looking at her, though she was looking off into the distance, her mind far from thinking about Rumil's words.

"Come on," he said, giving her a gentle shake, which made her gasp as she came back to reality, "You need to get some sleep and stop worrying. I will get everything sorted out. I promise." Then, with a concerned smile on his face, he led her back up to her room and bid her goodnight.

ooOoo

Passing through dark shadows of the forest, Haldir ran at a pace seemed almost impossible for his body. With the agility of a wildcat, Haldir dodged through the upward sprouting mellyrn trees, clearing hedges with leaps that were almost graceful, but more powerful than anything else. Branches raked at his skin and clung to his fair golden tresses, but he ignored all of this and continued onward through the night. He only stopped when he tripped over a log and landed flat on his face, being so out of sorts that he had not seen it coming.

Cursing as he rolled over on the ground, Haldir's face revealed a visage of pain and anger. The seeds of the jealously had now dug a hole and planted themselves in his heart. Clenching his eyes shut, Haldir thought back to how the night had started out so innocently. He had taught a class and filled out some paperwork for Lord Celeborn at the library. However, upon arriving back in the warden's halls, he had spotted the two flowers he had left for Belegwen smashed on the stairs in the hallway.

Gently, he had went and picked up the crushed blossoms from the floor and had delicately traced over their injured areas with one of his fingers, sadness creeping into his hard eyes.

Had she been this mad at him? Surely she had found out that the flowers were from him. Who else would have given them to her? Had she done it on purpose or had it been mere coincidence—a mistake, perhaps?

He had planned on going to her tonight to try and listen to her side of the story more carefully, as he knew he had not given her side of the decision enough thought earlier. He sought to understand where she was coming from and would find a way to deal with the consequences she had brought upon herself.

He would apologize.

Haldir knew that he had gone too far earlier with his anger. All in all, he was not really mad with Belegwen's decision. Instead, he was furious that the crime was going unpunished because Erthalion could not remember what he had done. There was really no right way to get justice in this peculiar situation unless he remembered it. At first, Haldir had simply thought he was faking it, but the Lady of Light had even looked into his mind and saw that it was blank. Surely, everything would be okay though...

Hopefully.

Even with all of this knowledge, Haldir still planned on keeping a very close watch over Erthalion. He had been telling the truth when he told Belegwen that she was not safe. If Erthalion did eventually remember and failed to alert anyone to this fact, she could be in grave danger. While he knew Belegwen's heart was in the right place for making the decision that she did, she was still very inexperienced when it came to dealing with criminal minds, something Haldir had been doing for centuries. He would keep a close eye on Erthalion and be alert to any changes that he might show over time.

These issues and many more had crossed Haldir's mind while he practiced with his long knives that night and he had resolved to talk with Belegwen as soon as he got back to the mallorn that housed the warden's halls. On his way back from the practice field though, Haldir had stopped at the smith's shop to pick up a dagger that he had needed sharpened, only to be loaded with two of Rumil's long knives, which he had clearly forgotten to pick up, as they had been ready at the smith's shop for about two months. A bit sullenly, Haldir had taken the extra burdens and had brought them straight to Rumil's room, which should have been a quick, usual stop for him.

But it was not.

Upon seeing Belegwen, the only elleth he had ever loved, in his brother's bed and looking Rumil in the eyes as she was, with his hand underneath her chin as if he was about to kiss her, Haldir's resolve had immediately broken. The dam shot forth, letting waves of insecurity and distrust flow from its once secure perimeters. Every foul assumption that he could have made about their situation had passed through Haldir's head in a mere second of time and left him silently stunned, blinking as if it were a scene of apparitions before him and not his brother and Belegwen caught together in a precarious situation.

Now that he was thinking about it, Haldir felt like a fool for running away like that when he clearly should have taken some sort of action. A deep vat of jealously was simmering within him, just waiting to boil over and scald all who were in the way. Jealously, but also an indescribable pain that was eating away at his heart, almost making it hard to breathe as he laid in the dirt, staring into the canopy of mallorn leaves above him.

"I should have known." He murmured to himself as he looked into the heavens, grasping handfuls of dirt in his clenched fists as he grimaced into the sky. "I should have known putting too much trust in one elleth would end like this. I should have known that it could never work out. Why did I trust her?" He whispered, then closed his eyes and shook his head while cursing himself, trying to remove the image of his brother and Belegwen from his tortured mind.

There was no one he could turn to either, no one he could confide in about the situation. Therefore, when a messenger came to him in the darkness of the night and gave him a request to return to the fences from Lord Celeborn, Haldir packed a few things and left at dawn, only stopping to slip a note under Rumil's door, telling him to take over his classes until he got back.

ooOoo

"Exactly where is Haldir?" Belegwen hissed to Rumil as they speed-walked down one of the paths towards the platform where announcements were made. It was time for Erthalion to take his oath with a crowd of wardens as witnesses, but Belegwen had not seen Haldir anywhere. If he could not be found, it would mean that she would have to give him the oath, which she sincerely did not want to do. In fact, if she could help it, she did not want to be anywhere near him.

Belegwen was scared of him, though she would never allow Erthalion to know it.

Even though she knew she could muster up the strength to give the oath herself, she really did not want to do it. However, when Rumil gave her a sympathetic look instead of answering, Belegwen's eyes grew large as she guessed what had happened. "Rumil... Oh no, you are not serious!" She exclaimed, scowling in disbelief as he frowned back at her. "He is not here?! Did you get a chance to talk with him before he left?!"

"No, he left before I woke up! The only reason I even know he left was because he left me a note saying that I am to take over his classes while he leads a border patrol!" Rumil said, failing to conceal the worried expression on his face as they both descended a small flight of stairs gracefully.

Belegwen must have looked quite worried at this because when the two finished taking the steps, Rumil caught hold of her upper arm and stopped her from her quick flight towards the platform. She turned to look at him, questioning his motives silently. He looked down at her soothingly. "Relax Belegwen. This will all be worked out in due time. When Haldir gets back, we will resolve this once and for all. I will not allow him to think poorly of you when you have done nothing wrong." Rumil said quite seriously, looking into her eyes as he made this proclamation.

Belegwen stared back at him for a few seconds after he said it, looking into his eyes for sincerity. Finding it, she looked down at her feet and nodded a few times before pulling away from him and walking out of the sun and into the shade of the mallorn that the platform was situated on.

Slowly, Belegwen ascended the stairs to meet a very serious looking Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, along with two wardens who flanked the rather ashamed-looking Erthalion, who did not meet her eyes as she approached the group. Instead, she looked at Lady Galadriel, who was smiling at her. Somehow, she knew the lady was aware of how nervous she was about doing the oath Quietly, Lady Galadriel stepped forward and placed a dainty hand upon Belegwen's shoulder.

"Is this your first public announcement?" Lady Galadriel asked Belegwen in a soft voice that did not carry beyond the confines of the stage.

"Yes," Belegwen whispered, maintaining her leader stature as to not give any indication of her nervousness to the crowd. Belegwen did not know if Galadriel knew her real reason for being nervous or not, but would gladly accept her counsel either way.

"Has Haldir shown you how to take an oath?" She asked, this time looking beyond Belegwen and staring at Erthalion, her eyes narrowing a bit.

"No, he has not," Belegwen said, crossing her arms as a cold shiver ran down her spine when she looked at Erthalion. "I have witnessed two oath ceremonies myself though and I am fairly certain of how they are conducted." She replied slowly, looking around a bit.

Something was not right. Belegwen could not quite pinpoint what was going on, but it was almost as if the air around her was thicker and the shadows around them seemed to be growing in a rather foreboding way. There was this unexplainable tension that had manifested itself in the crowd and on the occupants of the stage, all who now seemed rather restless, but none really knew why. Belegwen gave a questioning look to Galadriel, but she seemed just as disturbed by this as everyone else as she scanned the crowd of wardens with eagle eyes.

Convincing herself that it was just her own needless fear, Belegwen closed her eyes for a second to get herself focused, then approached Erthalion with a fake confidence that few could see through. However, when she was finally standing beside him, clouds started to gather over the sun in a rather abrupt fashion and a harsh wind started to pick up.

_"What is going on?"_ Belegwen thought to herself, her eyes looking up at the sky that had been perfectly sunny and cloudless only a few mere seconds ago, but was now dark and cloudy, almost as if it was about to rain. Even Erthalion had noticed the changes around him and was looking around, a bit confused about the happenings around him as well.

Finally, Belegwen realized that despite the fact that the crowd was just as curious about their changing environment as she, wasting everyone's time would not help the matter. "May I have your attention wardens! We are gathered here today to witness this elf, Erthalion of Lothlorien, place an oath before the Valar. With the lord and lady of the wood as witnesses, I-"

Suddenly, everything went completely silent around her and Belegwen stopped talking, in awe of the total silence. Not even a bird or small breeze sounded to her ears. Blinking, Belegwen opened her eyes to see herself beside Erthalion on the platform, standing as stunned and silent as she currently was. It was as though she was looking through the eyes of another being, someone who was in the crowd.

_"-is not serving justice-,"_ a male voice demanded in her mind, somehow penetrating the deep and unsettling silence that was around Belegwen. In fact, it was the same male voice she had heard during her fight with Erthalion.

Shock hit Belegwen in the face, but when she blinked again, she seemed to suddenly be back in her own body, the sound of rustling leaves and chirping birds filling her ears once more. She could again hear the sound of her breathing, though it was heavy with panic from the odd occurrence. Looking around, Belegwen saw a couple of wardens looking at her as though she had sprouted another head.

What had just happened?!

"I… I..." Belegwen stuttered a bit, trying to pick up where she had left off from her speech. She was very uncomfortable at this point and was no longer certain that her nervousness was hidden. A waving hand from the back of the crowd caught her eye—Rumil. He was nodding his head in a very reassuring manner, smiling at her confidently.

Something about his mannerism was very comforting and allowed Belegwen to pull herself together. "With the lord and lady of the wood as witnesses, I shall recite the oath that is to be offered. The oath taker, Erthalion of Lothlorien, shall repeat after me and therefore bind himself into this contract with the Valar. The time has come Erthalion. Raise your hand and look up to those who will hear you."

Stepping forward towards Erthalion, she motioned for him to raise his left arm up to the heavens. As if he was lifting a great burden over his head, the heavily-bandaged Erthalion did as he was told, tilting his face upwards as well to face the grey clouds that had gathered overhead. As the lord and lady of Lothlorien reached out to touch his extended arm, all of the curious whispers from the crowd ceased and a natural silence encompassed the entire group.

Reaching out, Belegwen hesitantly went to grasp Erthalion's arm like her elders, but flinched as the male voice popped into her head again. _"Do not touch him!"_ the voice commanded, getting progressively louder, _"He will remember you! DO NOT TOUCH HIM!"_ The masculine voice hissed sharply, causing Belegwen to crinkle her eyes shut and place a hand up to her forehead to comfort the throbbing pain that had recently arrived.

"Are you okay? Belegwen?" Lord Celeborn asked, a concerned look on his face.

"Yes. Yes, I am. I am just a bit more nervous that I thought." Belegwen whispered, though judging by the look Celeborn gave her, she was quite unconvincing with her lie.

Suddenly, the dull pounding in her head faded a bit, as well as some of the tension in the air, though it did not completely dissipate. Finally able to focus on the task at hand, Belegwen once again reached out her arm to grab Erthalion's, expecting to have another out of body experience.

It did not happen. Belegwen stared at Erthalion's face as she hesitantly took ahold of his arm, but he gave absolutely no indication of having remembered anything. He continued to gaze up into the cloudy sky. Belegwen shuddered as a certain realization hit her head on.

Haldir was right.

There was no way that Belegwen would be able to tell if she was sparking memories in Erthalion's head or not. Because of this, she might be in danger. She was so very close to him right now. Even though Erthalion was flanked with two guards, he could still undeniably reach for her faster than they would be able to restrain him.

He could strangle her again and Haldir was not here to help her fight him off. What would she do if he was to attack right now? Could she hold him off a second time? Somehow, she doubted it. Plus, she did not think that Erthalion would make her suffer if he tried a second time. He would probably just break her neck as quickly as possible, making sure that he finished the job.

However, he did not seem to remember. All was calm around her. Belegwen decided that she would have to ignore all of her inner raging, self-doubts, and morbid thoughts to make this oath happen. She was wasting everyone's time. _"Oh dear, what must they think of me now? I am so bad at doing this."_ She thought to herself, the forced herself to start the oath.

"Repeat after me," Belegwen commanded, interrupting her own self-degrading thoughts with those that would get the job done. "I, Erthalion the warden, stand before the Valar today as an elf who needs to change."

"I, Erthalion the warden, stand before the Valar today as an elf who needs to change." He repeated much more softly than her, in a slightly high voice that indicated he was becoming a bit nervous about the oath too. This was not surprising though, as an oath taken before the Valar could not be taken back and was to be taken seriously, as the consequences of not doing so were quite severe.

"I vow, with you and these elves as witnesses..." She called out.

"I vow, with you and these elves as witnesses..." He repeated, starting to shake a bit with nervousness.

"…that I will never commit an act of violence against another elf…" Belegwen recited, staring at him intensely as he shook underneath the eyes of the almighty Valar.

"…that I will never... commit an act of violence against... against another elf..." He stuttered out as his knees suddenly buckled. However, the two guards managed to catch him before he fell or one of the primary witnesses let go. They both proceeded to grip him around the waist tightly and held him up so that he could finish his oath.

"...and if I ever break this oath, I will suffer the chosen consequences of the Valar." Belegwen finished.

"...and if I ever break this oath, I will suffer... the chosen consequences of the Valar." He finished in a small voice, then gasped as a shock passed through his body and into the three who held up his left arm.

The Valar had heard the oath. "It is done." Belegwen called out, releasing Erthalion's shaky hand. When the two guards let him go, he fell to the ground, panting and sobbing as he shook uncontrollably on his hands and knees.

Leaving the guards to deal with Erthalion without even glancing back at the decrepit elf, Belegwen felt herself quickly descending back down to the forest floor, her arms wrapping around her body. Faintly, she heard Lord Celeborn calling after her, but she ignored it as the chills swept over her body again.

What had happened up there? Belegwen was confused and scared. The voice had seemed more powerful this time, more angry and fierce. Was she going crazy? Though all of the elves had sensed the unusual tension in the air, only she had spent seconds in another's body. For the first time in a long time, Belegwen found herself quite afraid of the supernatural…and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Belegwen!" She heard, as someone turned her around. It was Rumil. "Belegwen, what happened up there? Are you well?" Rumil asked, speaking quickly and in a very concerned voice.

"I heard the voice again, Rumil." She whispered, each word getting more and more silent. Upon actually admitting to this fear, the air around her became even more chilled and she soon realized that her eyes had filled with tears. Unable to control herself and not wanting Rumil to see her cry, she quickly took off running down the closest deserted path. Though Rumil called after her, she ignored him and ran into the forest as fast as she could.


	31. Attempted Redemption

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 31: Attempted Redemption

Silently, Rumil trudged through the dark woods towards the Northern border, having slowed down from his previous run now that he was close to his destination. The moon shined down through the silvery mellyrn trees and lit his path as he stepped over logs and around large patches of tangled brush, moving quietly towards where the wardens would be keeping watch at this time of night. Tonight, he was on a mission of high stakes.

A mission, he now realized, that should have been completed nearly seven fortnights ago.

Since the beginning of the entire misunderstanding, Rumil had known that Belegwen had been hurting. Once Haldir had left for the border, the two of them had spent a large amount of time together, most of which Rumil spent trying to get Belegwen to stop worrying about the situation at hand. From what Rumil had gathered, she and Haldir had become not only leadership partners, but also close friends over the past few months and she was very worried about losing both his friendship and her job because of what Haldir had assumed about them.

All along, he had known that this situation was putting a lot of extra stress and pain on Belegwen and so he had tried to be there for her as best he could, reassuring her that the moment Haldir came back, they would talk and get the issue sorted out. However, there was one problem with his plan...

Haldir never came back.

Up to date, he had served seven regular border patrol sessions back to back and had not given any indication of leaving the borders through his communication with Lord Celeborn. Both the lord and lady were worried about his well being, as it was not healthy for any of the wardens to serve that much time guarding the city without any sort of break to recuperate from the strenuous work. Had times been peaceful, perhaps it would have been dismissed, but with a growing amount of skirmishes at the border as times grew darker, it was becoming necessary for the wardens to come home and rest for a while.

On the other side of the situation, Rumil had patiently been waiting for Haldir to return. He spent his days teaching the class on long knives and working on his own advanced sword methods. His nights were often spent on his terrace with Belegwen, the two of them repeatedly reassuring one another that Haldir would listen to them and the situation would be resolved once he returned. The two of them had become trustworthy friends. That friendship was reason Rumil had started to notice the change that was taking place in his respected female marchwarden.

This last week, Belegwen had gotten considerably quieter than she normally was. However, the moment Rumil knew he needed to take action had just occurred earlier that night. He and Belegwen had been out on his terrace looking at the stars, as they had gotten into the habit of doing every night. It was just the two of them, both laying down with their heads supported by the other's shoulder—a very intimate way of being together as friends. Because the terrace was small, both pairs of their feet dangled off opposite corners of the terrace, but neither of them minded.

On a normal night, Belegwen was usually quite aloof and alarmed about the whole situation and Rumil would have to calm her down. However, earlier tonight she had been completely silent. They had laid there in an awkward silence for a long time, staring up at the stars, until Rumil had finally broken down and asked her if anything was wrong. All she could bring herself to do was whisper yes. Immediately, Rumil had sat up and looked at her, only to be shocked at what he was seeing.

Her natural beauty was utterly marred by large, black circles under her eyes, signifying the obvious lack of sleep that she had been experiencing. The natural shine her hair normally had was gone, leaving it more grey than silvery white. On top of all of this she looked pale, even for an elf.

"Oh dear Elbereth…" Rumil murmured as he stared down at her, his eyebrows raised up in a look of shock. "Have you been sleeping at all recently?" He questioned her softly.

She shook her head, closing her eyes to avoid making eye contact with him. "I cannot sleep; my worries weigh too heavily upon me. They are all I think about now. It is all I have left, you know—being a warden. It is all I have ever aspired to do: protect others so they stay safe, just as my father once did. I do not think I could bear it if that privilege was taken from me." She said, trailing off to a whisper in the end, her face scrunched up in an expression of indescribable pain.

"Surely that is not true," Rumil said softly, his hand gliding softly down her hair in an attempt to comfort her. "If worse came to worse, I am certain you could find something else to do."

Her eyes shot open and she bolted into an upright position angrily. "What would you have me be, a housewife?! I would never be satisfied with such a boring, loathsome job! I cannot even imagine myself cleaning a talan all day or cooking! What else would you have me be?! Should I pick up a needle and thread for the first time and be a seamstress, confined to a chair in a talan for all the days of my life?! No! There is nothing left for me here, not if I lose this!"

"You are being unreasonable Belegwen! You do not even know yet what Haldir's actions will be! It was a mistake! He cannot dismiss you for a misunderstanding!" Rumil found himself saying much more loudly than he had intended, irritated that she would no longer listen to reason.

Belegwen was silent for a few moments, but the look on her face said it all. She was deeply hurt because he did not understand her torment, shame, and despair. Flatly, she replied, "I have no purpose left." Then, she quietly walked out the door, her face unchanged.

Back in the present again, Rumil shook his head as he thought back on it. This had indeed carried on for far too long and it was time for him to take responsibility and get things straightened out with his brother. Fearing Haldir's wrath and anger, Rumil approached Haldir's watch talan in a somewhat cautious fashion and slowly started to climb up the ladder that a warden had thrown down to him.

ooOoo

Lost in a nightmare, Haldir felt himself jerk back into the present by a hand grasping his shoulder. Sitting up instantaneously, he pulled out his dagger with deadly precision and held it to the throat of his attacker. However, after glancing at his wide-eyed victim, he immediately put it down and was unable to conceal the look of guilt that he felt for doing such a thing to his brother.

For a moment both brothers just stared at each other, leaf-shaped shadows passing over their golden heads as the mellyrn branches softly bobbed to a rhythm the wind created above them. The tension between them was a thick mass, a barrier that neither could overcome at the moment, both of them lost in its abyss. Finally, Haldir was able to escape it because of his guilt, finding his gaze shifting to the small dagger that now rested in his lap, wrapped in his hand possessively.

Feeling the need to say something to his own flesh and blood, Haldir caught his younger brother's eyes for a moment before whispering hoarsely, "I am sorry brother, that was not my intention. You snuck up on me this time."

"I was not being overly quiet Haldir," Rumil said a bit more firmly than necessary, anger washing over him as he analyzed the situation. "I have never been able to sneak up on you, brother. This only proves that you have been out here far longer than necessary."

Taking a closer look at Haldir, Rumil was not surprised to find the same symptoms that Belegwen had sported earlier: dark circles under his eyes as if he had not slept in a long while, faded golden tresses, and a pallid complexion. He sat with his legs crossed, slouched over so that most of his face was hidden in the shadows underneath his unbound hair.

Haldir never slouched. Never.

As worries for Haldir and Belegwen piled up in his head, Rumil quickly searched for the correct words to say to break the awkward silence that had settled between them. Unable to find them, as he had never been overly tactful with words, Rumil decided to take a very blunt approach. "Haldir, you do know that Belegwen and I are merely friends, do you not?" He asked softly, taking a seat on the far side of his brother's green bedroll.

Upon hearing that, Haldir let out a small snort of sarcastic laughter, then brought his hand up to his eyes and rubbed his tired face, shaking his head as he did so. "Merely a friend? Is that what you are going to call that now? It certainly looked like something much deeper than that to me."

"No Haldir, it is not what you think—please hear me out brother! I—" Rumil started, only to be cut off by an indignant Haldir who was growing angrier with every passing second.

"I know what I saw brother! Were you the one who talked her into conducting herself as such?! If so, you disgrace her! I bet you do not even love her, do you?! You sicken me brother! If ada and naneth were to see-"

However, Rumil had stopped listening to his brother because the blunt approach had not worked. He quickly tried to think up a new tactic to get his brother to come home. Thinking back to what his brother had just said, Rumil began to believe that he knew exactly what to say.

"-surely, surely it was not her who initiated such behaviors! I know better than that Rumil! It must have been you! You just cannot help yourself, can you?! Flirting with every single elleth that flitters your way-"

"Haldir." Rumil said softly, causing his brother to stop his angry rant upon hearing the new tone of voice that Rumil was using. "My brother, please hearken to me. I know you do not believe me, but please, you must come home anyhow."

"Why is that, Rumil?" Haldir spat, though with a somewhat calmer mannerism than before.

"You are hurting her Haldir."

Rumil watched as something within his brother softened. Yes, this tactic had some merit!

"Her?" Haldir questioned with a slight look of remorse on his face.

"Belegwen. Haldir, she is terribly worried back in Caras Galadhon because of this whole misunderstanding. She looks like she has not slept in days and is pale as a spirit! It is almost as if she is fading! Brother, even if you do not believe me, you must go talk to her and put an end to her suffering."

Looking at his brother, he could tell that Haldir was having some sort of mental argument within himself. The harsh look on his face had dissipated and he laid backwards, putting both of his arms under his head as he stared at the stars in silence.

Uncertain of what to do, Rumil continued to work on making progress. "She fears losing her job as a warden Haldir. Being a warden is the only thing that has ever made her feel fulfilled. She would never break the rules Haldir. Please, you must believe me."

Honestly, Rumil found himself quite surprised at Haldir's silent reactions. Originally, he had expected his brother to be highly rude and annoyed with him the entire time. However, at the mention of Belegwen's name, all of the anger seemed to pass from him, changing into quiet contemplation. Rumil found this new truth slightly hurtful—his brother had put the feelings of his second in command before those of his own blood! Haldir had not believed his side of the story, but would trust hers somehow? Furthermore, he did not seem to harbor any anger towards her or pin any blame upon her either! If Rumil did not know better, he would assume…

But no, that was surely not possible.

Shaking his head at his insane hypothesis, Rumil looked back at Haldir's tense figure, still sprawled out on the floor of the talan, studying the stars. "Brother?" Rumil finally questioned with a small tinge of sadness in his tone.

Quite suddenly, Haldir closed his eyes and quietly asked him a most unexpected question. "Do you love her?"

Immediately, Rumil's eyes snapped open and he stared intently at his brother. "Of course not! Have you not listened to any of the words that I have said to you tonight?! I am NOT in love-"

But Haldir was sitting up and grasping his shoulder a second later, interrupting Rumil's retort. "Brother, do not lie to me. If you truly love her and she loves you back… I... I will turn a blind eye to it." He said, whispering towards the end as he seemed to get a little choked up.

"Brother," Rumil said again, looking Haldir straight in the eye and grasping his shoulder firmly in return. "I do not love Belegwen and I daresay she does not love me. We are merely friends, no more. Come now brother, why do you assume such things? Please tell me."

"Never mind." Haldir said, pulling away and standing up slowly. After a few meager stretches, Haldir grabbed his bow, arrows, and sword and jumped off the platform and onto the ladder, using the edges to slide to the bottom rapidly.

"Where are you going?" Rumil called after him, racing to the edge of the talan to see his brother starting to walk towards Caras Galadhon.

"Home of course. Are you not coming?" He called back to Rumil, not bothering to turn around and see the surprised look on his Rumil's face.

 _"Haldir is reacting very strangely to this. Indeed, I have never seen him this way before."_ Rumil thought as he quickly climbed down the ladder and jogged to catch up to his brother. Though he had not drawn any conclusions yet, his mind was now filled to the brim with suspicions about his brother and Belegwen.

ooOoo

Amid the glow of silver mellyrn trees, a Belegwen hurriedly jabbed and stabbed at an invisible enemy. A half moon lit the edge of the practice field that bordered the forest, the precise spot where Belegwen had chosen to overexert herself on this particular night. Feeling as though her job was at stake, Belegwen found herself spending longer and longer on the practice field each night because she could not sleep with her troubles bothering her so. Having shed her top tunic moments ago, now gooseflesh adorned her cold arms that were desperately longing for a certain elf's warm caress. That certain elf had not returned to the city in over three months though.

"BAH!" Belegwen yelled at the thought, annoyed at herself for letting her mind wander to him for the umpteenth time that night. She let her anger take over her motions and lashed out with a crazy spinning slash that screamed of her desperation. Drunk with hatred for herself and for Haldir's actions, her movements quickly became less and less tactful. After a few minutes of unadulterated anger, she realized that she must look like a fool and carelessly dropped her sword to the ground, her body following the same motion a few seconds later and landing right beside it.

It was there she laid on her stomach seething, listening to her quickened breaths from her previous exertion. Both of her hands grabbed handfuls of the thick, lustrous grass that grew on the practice field and held on tightly, as if her grip on the earth was the only thing keeping her from drowning in her sorrow, no longer concealed by the shield of anger that she had previously held.

 _"Valar,"_ she silently prayed, squeezing her eyes shut, too stricken with her mental misery to even glance at the stars as she spoke to them, _"Please, please do not let Haldir cast me away from him. Please, I do not wish to lose my job. I do not wish to lose him. Please..."_

She felt a single warm tear blaze a path down her cheek as she finished her desperate prayer, immediately wiping it away as she was accustomed to doing, though there were no wardens currently present to witness her momentary weakness. Too exhausted to move, Belegwen stayed still and watched the wind blow the shiny leaves of small weeds in the forest through the cracks of her unseemly dull hair that had escaped from her messy braids and laid limply in front of her face.

Belegwen did not know how much time had passed as she laid on the ground by Nimrodel. Eventually, she had started to doze off, lulled to sleep by a sweet floral scent that had been carried to her on the wind from one of Lothlorien's fine gardens. Finally, she felt herself come back to life when a gentle finger tapped her shoulder and a soft voice whispered, "Marchwarden?"

Sleepily, she turned her head to see which warden had dared to interrupt her momentary calm, only to find a loud, involuntary scream escaping her lips as she jumped up and away with a new found energy. Her adrenaline was suddenly pumping maddeningly as she continued to crawl away from her attacker.

"Erthalion!" She spat, discontinuing her crawling as she stared heatedly at his squatting figure. "What are you doing here?" She whispered in a dangerously low voice, still breathing heavily from her scare. Every muscle in her body was tensed up, ready to dodge any blows that might be coming her way.

However, her attacker did not seem too keen on doing any damage to her on this particular night, as no anger was visible on his face. In fact, there was a certain sadness about his face and demeanor tonight, a weakness that she had never seen in him before. He looked almost defeated.

"Marchwarden," he finally said again after an extended and tense silence. "I am sorry that it must be this way between us. I have merely come to apologize, if you will allow it." He said, looking at her after easing himself to the ground and into a comfortable sitting position.

Not being able to conjure up an answer, she watched as he shifted his feet under his buttocks and bowed his head down in shame. His shame did not look dramatized.

It was real.

Belegwen's mind went totally blank as she watched him fold his hands on his lap and shift them nervously. "Marchwarden, I know you must hate me, but I have felt the need to approach you with an apology for quite some time now. It has taken me a great deal of courage to come before you tonight. I am sorry that we must be alone for this, but none of the wardens will let me approach you during daylight hours." He said softly, finally looking up to see if she was paying attention to him. Immediately, she ripped her eyes away from his, unwilling to let him see the emotions that she could not hide as they passed across her face.

"I know that my apology probably does not mean much to you, nor do I expect you to believe me. I must say it, nonetheless. Truly, I am sorry for my actions. I do not know what provoked such violence to burst forth within me, but I apologize for the pain and suffering I have caused you. To act in violence was wrong and I am sorry... so very sorry." He stuttered out. She chanced a look at him upon hearing him sniffle, to find that he was staring at the ground, tears flowing freely down his face.

Belegwen did not know what to say to such a heart-felt apology. It felt wrong to cast it aside, yet she could not possibly accept it. Not yet, anyhow. Though the marks had almost completely faded from her neck and her voice's clarity had returned, still she felt mentally scarred. The incident still haunted her dreams during the times she actually managed to fall asleep, and so she constantly relived the helplessness and the pain she had experienced that day.

Then, there was also the sea...

Even just thinking the word brought a rush of emotions over her. She could still see the vision of mist covering the wavy, dark water. It had been an endless expanse of menacing black water that smelled salty and had looked so surprisingly inviting at the time.

Gasping as she shook her head a bit to clear the vivid image out of her mind, she stood up and recreated Haldir's sternest face as best she could before addressing him. "I will accept your apology, but I am not ready to forgive you yet," she said darkly, "For even though I know you do not remember the incident, I remember it all too well. You have no idea what sort of hurt and permanent damage you have caused me! Had it been some other elleth though, you... you would have been a murderer!" She hissed, stuttering over the harsh words coming out of her mouth.

Swallowing down her nervousness, she somehow found the strength to finish what she wanted to say. "Do not look to find mercy with me, for you will find none."

Yet still, he persisted. "Please, I was not looking for mercy, I was just-"

"Hey! HEY!" Someone screamed, startling both Erthalion and Belegwen. Both of their heads turned to the left in synchrony to see Heledhril running towards them as if all of the minions of Sauron were on his tail. The young warden was clad only in a pair of breeches and his straw-colored hair was unbraided and swirling around behind him as he ran towards them. As he came closer, Belegwen was surprised by the worried look that had drawn his face up tightly, along with a certain flame that sparked in his eyes—anger.

"YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY AWAY FROM HER!" He roared as he slowed down, glaring at the pitiful figure who was still sitting on the grass. A look of pure fear crossed Erthalion's face as Heledhril grabbed a handful of Erthalion's dark tresses and yanked his head up towards himself. "WHY HAVE YOU APPROACHED HER WHEN SHE IS ALONE!?" He yelled again, his brow furrowed with rage.

Too scared to answer, Erthalion merely trembled, doing everything in his power to avoid eye-contact with Heledhril while he was in such a mood. "Well?!" Heledhril hissed, giving his head a small shake to hurry his answer.

Upon hearing Erthalion moan, Belegwen could not take anymore of it. "Heledhril," she said, trying to keep her voice steady as she reached forward and lightly held his arm with both of her hands, "Heledhril, he was only trying to apologize. Please put him down, I cannot stand anymore violence." She said, suppressing a small shiver that went through her body as she mentally relived the moment that Erthalion's strong hand had clasped around her neck.

She could see that Heledhril had digested her words and in a matter of seconds, he allowed Erthalion to drop to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Still terribly cross, however, Heledhril dared to point his finger in Erthalion's cringing face. "Do not come near her again. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes." Erthalion whispered in a pained voice as he slowly got to his feet and started to walk away. Both of his hands were holding the top of his head in an attempt to curb his pain. Both Belegwen and Heledhril watched in silence as he faded into the distance.

When he disappeared completely, Belegwen let her hands slide down Heledhril's arm and back down to her sides, her head bowing down to hide her great relief from Heledhril. However, Heledhril mistook this look for disappointment in how he had handled the situation and immediately started trying to explain his actions.

"Marchwarden, I am sorry if I disturbed you. I did not mean to be so violent with him. I saw him with you and it scared me, and I am afraid that I lost control of myself." He said, his voice shaking with emotion as he fell to his knees.

Frowning at his despair, Belegwen sank to her knees as well and laid a hesitant hand on his muscular back as she tried to get a good look at his face. "Heledhril?" She questioned softly.

As he continued breathing heavily, he managed to push out a few words. "I just... I just keep dreaming about it. About him hurting you. It is like I cannot get away from the violence." He whispered slowly. As he turned his head to look at her, she could see tears freely rolling out of his eyes.

"He was my friend once."

Pain welled up within Belegwen as she heard this ultimate admission of suffering that Heledhril had kept within himself. Not hesitating for a moment, Belegwen wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly as he cried, her cheek resting against his bare back. Her own eyes scrunched up with distress as she thought of the heavy burden that had been placed upon this young and normally peaceful warden simply from having witnessed Erthalion's violence. "I am sorry." She murmured against his skin as she held him. "I am so sorry Heledhril. This was not supposed to be your burden to bear."

At last, the warden's tears ceased and she let him go, watching with a softened visage as he wiped his eyes with his arms. Rubbing his back a bit with one of her hands, she asked, "Heledhril, what are you doing out here so late anyway? …and so... disrobed?"

"I had just had one of those dreams and I could not sleep, so I thought I would go for a jog to ease my thoughts, but then I happened upon you." He said softly, looking up at her with kind eyes.

Belegwen let out a small chuckle at this. "I am assuming that your encounter tonight has not eased your thoughts any." She said as she stood up.

"No, indeed it has not." He said, following her example. He looked at Belegwen, then reached out and grasped her arm after a second. "Marchwarden Belegwen, please do not come out here by yourself during the nighttime hours anymore. It is not safe with him roaming around freely like this."

"Did Haldir tell you this?" She asked with an eyebrow up in suspicion.

"No, no. It was..." He said with a pause, then seemed to change his train of thought. "Just please, please do not do it. You are strong as a marchwarden, but you are not invincible. No one is. Do not give him the opportunity to use his violence against you. If you need to practice at night, just wake me up and I will come with you. I cannot seem to sleep peacefully right now anyhow."

"I shall consider it." Belegwen said with a small smile. "Now, how about a sword lesson to clear your head?" She asked, then in one swoop, grabbed up Nimrodel from the ground and spun it around in her hand, before resting the blade on top of her other hand. "I see you brought your sword, even though you forgot your tunic." She said with a small laugh.

"I fear I am too shaky to practice balancing tonight, Marchwarden." He replied, looking slightly crestfallen at having to refuse an opportunity to spar with an elf as renowned at the sword as her.

"Very well then. Instead, how about we practice the techniques from Advanced Swordplay?" She offered, smiling as he quickly got into a ready position.

That was all the answer Belegwen needed. She charged him and the two fought each other gracefully, their shadows dancing across the grass as they lost all track of time. Heledhril temporarily forgot his demons and Belegwen enjoyed a cleared head until she saw a figure staring at them from the equiptment shed. Quickly taking Heledhril to the ground so that she could get a better look at who it was, she gasped as she saw someone most unexpected.

"Haldir!"


	32. Clinging to Hope

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 32: Clinging to Hope

The half moon was not as bright as it had been at its peak and had started to head back down toward the tree line as the early morning progressed. However, in its final tendrils of silvery light, two wardens stood staring at each other with a silent tension between them. Without looking down at the heavily breathing figure below her, Belegwen spoke evenly to Heledhril, "You have done well tonight Heledhril, but I must debrief with Marchwarden Haldir now. Please excuse us."

Having left no room for argument in her tone, Heledhril, picked himself up off the ground and stood looking at her for a second with a worried look in his eyes before heading in the direction of warden's halls. Despite this, neither Haldir nor Belegwen moved from their spots, even after Heledhril disappeared into the distance.

Finally, after the uncomfortable silence had stretched on far too long, Haldir started walking towards Belegwen. He could tell that she was maintaining a countenance of indifference to the best of her ability, though a soft glint in her eyes spoke faintly of a sadness that Haldir was not sure he could fully comprehend. All he knew was that this needed to be sorted out and now.

Stopping a few paces in front of her, Haldir looked her over a bit more carefully and was surprised to find that Rumil had painted a rather accurate portrait of her with his words. Just as he had described, Haldir saw that she looked weary, particularly in the face. There was something wrong with her hair too; it did not glow as it once had, but appeared to be a pallid, lifeless grey.

Did he look like this too? Could they be fading?

Haldir had seen this condition before, as it had happened to a few of his wardens. Either the warden and his wife would be separated for far too long or would part ways on foul terms and it would result in the symptoms of fading: wilted looks that resembled those of aged men as well as a slow deterioration of physical and emotional capabilities. When caught early, his wardens had been easily cured by making physical contact with their wives and verbally sorting out their differences.

However, the three wardens he had watched this happen to all had wives. Though Haldir knew he loved Belegwen with all of his heart, he was not certain if she would ever return his feelings—it certainly was not happening at the present. Right now, she was giving him such a cold stare that he thought his longing heart would surely freeze over and shatter from it.

How could this be? Rumil had thought it was simply because she was worried about losing her job, but Haldir did not think that could cause an elf to fade. Belegwen would be terribly upset by it, yes, but he sincerely doubted that it would take this much of a physical toll on her body.

No, they had done this to one another with their angry words. They had argued before he had left for the border and had not bothered to resolve their issues beforehand. He had assumed the worst about her when he had seen her sitting in bed with Rumil and had not had the courage to confront them about it. Now, they were wallowing in the aftermath of their mistakes.

"Come," he finally said as he looked at her sadly, "We need to talk."

She did not reply to him, but simply followed him as he walked through the lush grass towards the silvery tree line. Walking only a few feet into the forest, Haldir sat down, leaning up against a giant mallorn tree and patted the ground beside him, motioning for her to sit as well. Belegwen quickly complied, though she did not sit in the spot next to him that he had indicated, but rather a couple of paces away from him, leaning up against the same tree. When she sat, she pulled her legs in toward her body and wrapped her arms protectively around them both. Incredible melancholy was visible on her face as she looked out into the deserted practice field, not making any effort to meet his gaze.

"I suppose this is when you tell me I am no longer a warden." She said softly, not bothering to look at him, though he could not take his eyes off of her.

Downtrodden, he saw his exact emotions reflected upon her face. "No," he murmured softly, "I did not come here to talk about the wardens, but rather to talk about us."

Her soft blue eyes made contact with his after she heard that statement. "Us? Is there even an _us_ , Haldir? I know what you thought when you saw me with your brother." She said wispily, trailing off towards the end.

"Yet he tells me it was not what it seemed, though I would prefer to hear it from you." He said to her gently, his eyes questioning her. "I will believe it when I hear it from you."

"You say that now, more than three months after the incident? The only reason you are even back is because Rumil brought you—do not deny it, as I know it to be true. Anyways, you say Rumil has already told you what happened. Why must you hear it from me?" She asked, now slightly annoyed.

"Belegwen-" He started.

"Oh, for pity's sake Haldir, there is nothing going on between me and Rumil! I was only in his room because we are friends and he wanted to talk to me, mainly because I was distraught over how you did not accept my decision about Erthalion!" She said, covering the upper right-hand side of her face with her hand in exasperation.

Haldir drew in a breath to reply, only to have Belegwen, who was becoming more and more upset with every second, beat him to it. "And Haldir, it was my decision to make!" She demanded with her voice going into a higher range as if she was going to cry. "It was not your decision; it was mine! It was the right one too, even if you are too stubborn to admit it!"

She looked as though she wanted to say more, but quickly buried her face in her legs and was silent for a long while. Haldir said nothing as he stared at her in shock. Was she crying over there? He suspected she was, but he did not know what to do about it. Silently, he watched her unmoving body, occasionally pulling stray golden hairs out of his own face that the wind placed there.

Finally, she pulled her head up and looked at the mossy ground between the two of them, unwilling to meet his concerned eyes. He saw that her eyes were tear-free and inwardly he frowned at this, as she was taking great lengths to avoid showing him this side of herself. Part of him wanted to tell her that it was okay to have moments of weakness at times—that he would not think any less of her if she cried, but he knew now was not the time. There were more pressing matters at hand.

"Haldir," she finally whispered, nearly breaking his heart with her tone of voice. He wanted to comfort her, but did not know if it was appropriate at the current moment. "You do not trust me and it hurts."

"I am sorry." He said gently, shutting his eyes as he mentally berated himself for being this way with her. He had never meant to come off this way, but it still kept happening and he had little control over it, as the feelings usually surfaced because he cared for her so deeply.

"Sorry is not enough." She said, laying her hand down into the soft moss that was growing on the ground between them. "Sorry will not make you trust me. Perhaps nothing will."

"Belegwen," he said, then stopped momentarily before finally saying in a nervous manner very much unlike him, "I do not know what to do to make this better, nor can I defend my actions. All I can say about my wrongdoings is that I have done them because I care for you." Feeling utterly defeated from having to admit something so personal, Haldir stood up and started to walk away from her.

He was immediately stopped by two soft hands that enclosed around the tips of his fingers with a clumsy grip.

"Haldir?" he heard her question, then after a quick pause, she whispered, "I missed you."

Without turning back to look at her, Haldir's eyes closed and his countenance clenched up in frustration. He had been planning on leaving at this point, as he had deemed the situation hopeless. Apparently, it was not. Though he wanted to, he now knew he could not leave, not after feeling that touch he had longed for and dreamed about for the past three months. There was power in her touch. Her fingers had filled him with a mysterious, almost supernatural shock that filled his body and smothered him with relief, as if a great burden had been removed from his heart.

Of course, this was far from being so, as neither of them could find a solution to their problems. Inwardly, he chuckled because it was true: he had started to fade because he loved her and because their disagreement had lasted so long and he had been far away from her.

Hesitantly, Haldir turned around to look at Belegwen as his heart desired. He saw his own pain reflected in her eyes, along with a mutual longing for something that they would never have. Nothing could be resolved, yet he was helplessly drawn to her, as if she was his weakness. For the life of him, he could not turn her away, not even if she did not love him.

Squeezing Belegwen's hand to reassure her, Haldir knelt down beside her. She quickly embraced him in a strangling hug, which he immediately returned with equal fervor, pulling her unceremoniously onto his lap to obtain the closest contact possible. One of his arms tightened around her waist while the other hand quickly ran up her neck and straight into her hair, his fingers penetrating the loose lower strands and clutching her head to his shoulder possessively. In silence, he relished the delicious feeling of the silky strands against his fingertips.

He gently nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head, burying his nose in her messy braids and deeply breathing in her scent as he had yearned to do for weeks on end. He could feel her heavy, uneven breaths close to his ear and feel the warm, tingly air that she emitted on his neck. She was stroking his shoulder and arm slowly, releasing a sigh of relief against him that he could both feel and hear.

Yearning for more than he felt she would give him, he simply resolved to hold her while clinging to his follies—the small, but incessant voices in his head that said that somehow, there was still hope for them.

ooOoo

Silently, Belegwen cherished the feeling of Haldir's strong hands holding her tightly against him and wished that it would never have to end. Her heart was pounding manically and her fingers trembling with the last remnants of the fear that she possessed.

She had been afraid he would leave.

Mentally, she chastised herself for the words that she had spoken to him in anger. Yes, she was still mad at him, perhaps even to the point of feeling livid, but at the same time, she could not just let him leave after she had waited so long to see him. Oh, how she had ached over his absence! She needed this moment and she needed his strong embrace.

She needed him, though she was loath to admit it at the moment.

Of course, all of these conflicting thoughts dueled amongst themselves in her head, leaving Belegwen in a rather unsatisfactory state of confusion. Obviously, he did not trust her and treated her as if she was a weak elleth who needed protection at times, rather than the commanding marchwarden that she truly was. However, he cared for her, which was something she could not seem to ignore, despite his abominable treatment of her.

After being held for a long time, Belegwen finally forced herself to pull away from his warm embrace and got up off of his lap, sitting down and leaning against the great mallorn again. Haldir followed her example and sat directly next to her in silence. "I missed you too." She heard him whisper as he took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers and giving her a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

"Haldir," she started, looking towards the practice field and up at the stars that were starting to fade away from the sky as dawn drew near, "I do not understand it. No matter how much I loath some of the things you do, I cannot bear to see you walk away."

"Yet, I see no way to work this out." He replied softly, causing her to glance over at him. "Belegwen, I cannot stop worrying about your well-being just because you are a warden. I want to protect you even if you do not need it. That is one natural instinct I simply cannot control."

"I understand your point Haldir, but I do not think this will work out if you do not trust me to make the right decisions for myself. I am your second and you should be able to trust my judgement at times. Surely you would not have offered me this post had you not thought I was capable of making difficult decisions. I do not know how we can work together or be together if you will not allow me to do this." She said, looking away from him.

Both were somber and silent for a time, before Haldir whispered painfully, "Do you wish for us to part ways then?"

Upon hearing this, Belegwen shivered and gripped his hand tightly. She looked up and met his cold blue eyes. They were paired with a rather distraught expression that he had not bothered to hide from her. Weird emotions swirled around in Belegwen's stomach, making her feel as though she could be sick at any moment under the intensity of his burden-filled eyes.

"No," she said breathily, "No. Perhaps I am a fool for doing this, but I will give you one more chance."

His eyes stared down at her, now wide with shock. Their ferocity almost ripped her in two and caused her to look down at her legs. Emotionally drained, she leaned her shaking body up against his, gently clutching his muscular arm with both of her hands and setting her soft cheek upon the warm wool of his tunic.

"Thank you." She felt him whisper close to her ear. His arm then moved out of her grasp and hesitantly wrapped itself around her as they watched the sky start to ever so slowly lighten into a soft shade of purple that marked the beginning of the sunrise.

ooOoo

Haldir found himself smiling at the sweet elleth that was cuddled up against the side of his body. An immense tidal wave of relief had swept him away and made him feel as though he was on top of the world. Silently, he sent his thanks to the Valar for her forgiveness. The mere thought of her casting him off was simply unbearable and he was glad that it was, at least for now, out of the question.

"Do not think that you are totally forgiven. I am still mad at you." She mumbled tiredly, perhaps having caught a glimpse of his relief.

"Sssh," Haldir whispered as he carefully got up and maneuvered her stirring body into his arms. "You need to sleep. It looks like you have not done so in days."

"I have not." She murmured, leaning her head against his solid chest, too tired to think or argue about him picking her up. "I had too much on my mind… burdens."

"Let them go for now. Sleep, my beautiful warden." He coaxed her languidly as he stepped smoothly through the dewy grass of the practice field, reveling in the scent of her body and the occasional feel of her silky hair brushing against one of his hands.

Softly walking through the thin morning fog, Haldir hesitated when he reached the steps that would lead up to the warden's quarters. It was close to morning and he did not want to get caught holding his second so very intimately. However, knowing how little she had slept over the past months, he decided to take a chance and gracefully ascended the stairs as quickly as possible without jolting her out of reverie.

Surprisingly enough, he found himself at the door to her room without having seen a single warden awake or roaming the corridors. Haldir had been certain that he would run into trouble and had not wanted to lie and make up an explanation on the spot. Gently, he turned the cold knob attached to her door and quickly let himself in, shutting the door behind him.

Approaching her bed and using extra care, he set her down after grabbing away the wrinkled sheet that laid atop it and pulling it out of the way. Being as careful as he could not to wake her, Haldir silently unlaced her soft leather boots and pulled them from her limp, bare feet. Setting her second foot back down on the bed, Haldir took a few moments just to look at her for as long as he desired. He smiled at her sleeping form—she looked so calm and peaceful on her white satin sheets as the first deep pink rays of sunlight sprang forth over her balcony and hit her face, the light dancing on her still blue eyes as she slept on peacefully.

Ever so carefully, Haldir slid one of her arms closer to her body, watching her face for any signs of stirring, as his fingers touched the soft flesh of her arm. Finally, he undid the ties that held her messy braids together and gingerly brushed the pieces apart until they were completely separated from their weave.

A deep feeling of goodness encompassed Haldir and he bent down so close to her that the tips of his golden hair were lightly touching her neck. His hand went up to her cheek and he softly caressed it, taking in her beautiful features in the light glow of the morning sunrise. All of his doubts and his thoughts left his mind.

It was just him and her.

Bending down even lower, he breathed against her ear and then whispered almost inaudibly, "I love you." Kissing her ear lightly, Haldir stood back up, only to see her start to move. Surprised, he quickly stepped backwards away from the bed, his eyes wide with shock. He was not ready for her to hear that yet!

Most luckily for him, she seemed to have only desired to roll onto her side. Watching her like a hawk, he never saw her eyes come back into focus. Sighing with relief, he quickly exited the room before he had anymore close calls.

ooOoo

Already more than a little shaken up from admitting something so personal to Belegwen, even if she had slept through it, Haldir found that when he got into bed sleep was still not an option, even though he had not slept for days. With a grouchy look etched upon his face, Haldir threw off his sheets and quickly wrapped himself in his white satin robe before heading down the marble stairs to the bathhouse.

His soak in the gentle waters did not calm him though, as he could only think of Belegwen and the words which had mysteriously fallen right out of his mouth, as if they were natural. Well, of course they were natural, but he had wanted to save them for the perfect moment. He wanted to have the moment with her when he was certain she felt the same way. A moment when they could announce it to all of Caras Galadhon.

Basically, a moment that would not exist.

Now, as he tightened his sword belt around his waist and stared at himself in his mirror, he found himself truly wondering what he was going to do. What would they do? For pity's sake, when he was away from her he had started to fade! His love for her was strong and held a power that was great, perhaps so great that he could not fathom it.

This could not be ignored. Not anymore.

Down the spiraling staircase he trod as morning finally broke out in all of its glory, the sun caressing the horizon and painting the skies with brilliant streaks of marigold and crimson, mixed in utter perfection. Momentarily, Haldir had stopped to return a greeting from a warden who had been in the same vicinity as he, only to turn around and be transfixed by an elleth who was standing majestically in the sun, radiating with an unspeakable supremacy.

The Lady of Light.

Immediately, Haldir was on his knee in servitude with his head bent down, for above all else other than Eru Iluvatar and the Valar, he held her in the highest esteem. "My lady." He said softly in greeting.

"Come Haldir," She said, beckoning him with one fragile hand when he looked up. "There is much that we need to discuss."

Immediately on his feet, Haldir followed Lady Galadriel, trekking under flower-loaded trellises as they entered a nearby garden, thick and green. Deeper and deeper, they immersed themselves in the jungle of plants. The trees got thicker and the secluded path narrowed in the shaded area that was still blanketed with a thick, eerie mist. Haldir started to feel uneasy as they came upon a hidden stone stairway and started to descend into a small valley with a gentle waterfall. In fact, Haldir noted, the valley was so eerie that the only thing he could hear was the waterfall. The normal sounds of the forest had vanished.

By the time he reached the bottom of the stairs, Haldir was almost certain he could hear his own silent footsteps and the beating of his heart. Naturally, this made him edgy and he fidgeted absently with one of his woolen sleeves as he strode after the lady, looking around at the shady scenery around him.

 _"Haldir."_ He heard in his mind and instantly stopped and faced forward to find himself standing in front of an ornately designed pedestal that held a large stone basin and pitcher. Little sparks of electricity tingled around him as he walked up three stairs to look inside of it, but it was empty. Looking up, Haldir stared into a stern face that almost had a bluish-grey tint to it in the darkened area.

"You did not come from the borders when I called for you. Now you have your work cut out for you, Marchwarden." Galadriel said, her face unmoving from its unforgiving, cold stare. Picking up the pitcher silently, she turned away from him and walked over to the small fall.

"The time has come for war, Haldir. Imladris' troops march to join us even as we speak. They are scheduled to arrive in five days, at which point our troops will join them and together, you shall march to Helm's Deep." Galadriel said, sending a shock through Haldir. Already they were to go to war?! He had originally thought he would have a few years to prepare his wardens, not a few mere months!

"What would you have me do, my lady?" He asked softly, thoughts racing through his mind like a stampede of horses.

"I would have you lead, Haldir." She said as she walked back towards him, carrying the pitcher which now contained water. "Glorfindel must stay at Imladris and attend to business with Lord Elrond, and so it has been requested that you command the conjoined contingent of soldiers. Will you accept this honor?" She asked, staring at him gravely.

Again, Haldir found himself down on his knee, bowing deeply with his fist upon his chest. "Yes, my lady. My allegiance is with you, as I swore it long ago. If this is what you require of me, then let it be so."

With a mysterious smile, the lady looked at Haldir as she raised her hand and poured the contents of the pitcher into the basin before him. There was a curious glint in her eyes that made Haldir forget all about the war and become slightly nervous, though he knew not why.

"Will you look into my mirror?" She whispered eerily.

Haldir cocked one of his eyebrows up at this suggestion. "It is not a normal mirror." He stated warily as he continued to be captivated by the glowing lady.

"Your instincts serve you well Haldir. If you look in my mirror, I cannot tell you what you will see. Many see their past and present. Some even see what awaits them beyond today." She said softly, then added, "Do not let me affect your decision, Haldir. Let your answer be of your own volition."

Curiously, Haldir looked at off-white basin and considered the request. There were certain things he did not wish to see. What if he and Belegwen showed up in the mirror? What would the lady say if she found out? Haldir bit his lip at this thought—still, inquisition seemed to be winning out, as he did desire to find out what the mirror would show him.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he found himself taking a tentative step forward and gazing into the clear, shiny liquid below him. At first, he saw nothing, only a reflection of himself staring back at him. Then, a moment after he had started to relax, small ripples appeared in the water going from one side to another, as though a small wind was blowing it.

He found this odd, as there was no wind blowing around them currently.

Slowly, a face started to materialize before him... a very familiar face. Haldir gulped down a nervous breath as he realized exactly who was looking at him. His jaw quivered slighted as the face watched him, moving only a little.

"M-my lady, I do not understand!" Haldir shuddered, moving his hand in front of his face to see it trembling in a way that it had not in a long while, then gasped as he saw the elf in the water examining his own hand as well, which seemed to be shaking a bit too.

Upon hearing no response from Galadriel, Haldir murmured more to himself than to her, "How can this be?" His eyes were uncertain, his hands gripping the sides of the basin tightly as he leaned closer to the elf who mimicked his every move with disturbing precision.

Somehow, he managed to pry one of his steely hands off the side of the basin and shakily brought it through his dangling golden hair again so that it was in front of his face. "This cannot be real." He whispered, a cold sweat breaking out on his face as he lowered his hand down to try and touch the being that was seemingly reaching up out of the water towards him. "It cannot-"

An intense shock ran through Haldir's body as he touched the water and he fell backwards with a push and down the stairs very ungracefully, gasping for air and shivering uncontrollably. Pulling himself quickly onto his hands and knees, Haldir looked at the fingers that had made contact with the water.

They were burnt.

Looking cautiously upward to the basin, Haldir cringed as he saw it smoking dangerously. Galadriel gazed down at him with a clearly disturbed look on her face. After a second of silence, the lady finally said in a somewhat stunned voice, "Never in all of my years has one been shown something like that. I do not know yet what it means. When I do, I will let you know." She said softly, then turned around and slowly left him by himself in that Valar-forsaken place.

Haldir looked down at the ground again, feeling an unusual churning in his stomach. When he had first peered into the mirror, it had never occurred to him that he would see Orophin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear from you if you're enjoying the fic. Thanks for reading! Take care!
> 
> -P.G.


	33. Pondering Life and Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Fatemeh68 for the comment and to those who have given kudos! Enjoy!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 33: Pondering Life and Death

A tingly feeling that brought warmth to her cheek was what first made Belegwen start to stir from her deep slumber. Then she slowly started to feel the presence of another elf. Belegwen tried to ignore this, even as she felt the bed incline a bit under the weight of another.

"Good morning beautiful." She heard a soft male voice say…a male voice that was not Haldir's. Immediately, Belegwen gasped and blinked to rewet her eyes, then quickly turned to find Rumil sitting on her bed, smiling softly at her as he stroked her cheek. "How are you feeling this morning? Better than before, I hope?"

Belegwen closed her eyes breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Rumil there. "You scared me, Rumil." She murmured, as he continued to stroke her cheek gently.

Rumil just chuckled a bit at this. "Indeed, I did." He said in an amused voice, but quickly sobered up, "You look better than you did yesterday. Did you get your worries straightened out with Haldir?"

"Yes and praise the Valar for it! I do believe I owe you my gratitude, for who else would be able to pull the mighty marchwarden from his post?" She asked softly, with a small chuckle.

"It was I." Rumil admitted tenderly as he smiled down at her. "I could not stand knowing that you and my brother were suffering so."

Belegwen's eyes seemed to smile as they made contact with Rumil's. "I am grateful Rumil. Thank you." She said, taking his hand and giving it a small squeeze. "You are a good friend."

This, however, made Rumil break out in loud laughter. "Sadly," he started after he recovered from his outburst, "you may not think so after I give you this." He said, holding up a large scroll of paper.

"What is it?" Belegwen asked curiously, cocking up her eyebrow as she gingerly sat up in her bed.

"It is a list of jobs for you to do for the next four days, sent to you straight from Marchwarden Haldir." He replied rather grimly.

"Four days worth?" Belegwen asked, looking a bit horrified, "Why?"

"Belegwen," Rumil said, resting his hand on her arm in a reassuring way, "We are going to war. It was declared yesterday while you were in reverie."

However, Belegwen had no reply, feeling quite shocked by all of this. Looking towards Rumil, she saw that he looked just as worried as she felt. "So it has finally come."

"Yes." Rumil said equally soft. "Lord Elrond is in agreement with the lady. Together, they have decided that recent events match up with those Lady Galadriel has foreseen in her mirror. Our time for involvement is now. Soldiers from Imladris will be joining us in four days and then we will journey together to Helm's Deep."

"Will we make it there on time?" She asked, looking rather worriedly at Rumil.

"I believe so." He answered solemnly, "There are no signs of danger there currently, but it will take several fortnights for us to travel there. If we waited until there were signs of danger, I daresay we would come much too late."

"I see." Belegwen murmured, thoroughly overwhelmed by the suddenness of the information. It seemed like just a few hours ago that she had been reveling in the feel of Haldir's arms around her. Now all she could feel was the churning of her stomach.

While Haldir had already hinted to her that this day would soon come, Belegwen could not help but feel surprised. With war came death, which was not a natural thing for elves. Though Belegwen had obtained many foul injuries over the years, she had never once thought that she might die. For the first time, the possibility was there and struck her as odd.

Elves were not meant to die.

Distracted and a bit distraught, Belegwen quickly pushed her dark thoughts away momentarily and focused on Rumil. "May I see my itinerary?" She asked quietly.

In response to this, Rumil gave her arm another reassuring squeeze. "Everyone is overwhelmed about it—you are not alone."

"I know Rumil, but as a marchwarden, I cannot let it show to others." She said softly, smiling sadly.

"I am certain they would be understanding Belegwen. Though I see where it might be beneficial at certain times, there is no need for you to always push your emotions deep within yourself." He argued back gently, but intensely.

She felt his hand grasp her shoulders and she looked up into his eyes. They expressed pity for her and her position. Belegwen sighed and looked down at the pile of crumpled sheets that were in her lap.

"It is a chance I am unwilling to take Rumil, especially not now when we are suddenly on the brink of war. I need all of the wardens to follow me and I cannot risk them seeing me as a coward." Belegwen confided to him, then added, "I cannot imagine Haldir acting any differently either. He will hide what he feels as well."

"You are correct in saying that, dearest Belegwen. However, nobody expects you to be like Haldir." Rumil said as he stood up from his seat on her bed.

Belegwen watched as he walked to her armor rack and picked up a letter from it, then placed it in her hands. Quickly, Belegwen broke the sealing wax and glanced through her schedule. It was full for the next four days, planed down to the minute. In fact, she was supposed to be starting the first preparation right at that very moment.

"Oh dear, it seems my first engagement is supposed to be happening right now." She said, jumping out of bed quickly and grabbing her boots, still clad in the training clothes she had worn two days ago.

"I will be on my way then." Rumil said, turning towards the door, but then gracefully turning back again. "You will tell me if you need anything, will you not? Even if it is just the need of my extremely charming company?" He asked, pretending to be serious.

Belegwen smiled at his joke. "Of course Rumil. Thank you."

ooOoo

With a sigh, Haldir put down the quill that had lingered in his hand for far too long without motion. What was wrong with him? Why could he not concentrate on his work—work that was very important, considering they were going to war in a mere two days?

Of course, he knew why. Every time he closed his eyes, Haldir saw Orophin's face staring back at him eerily, just as it had in the lady's mirror. According to even Galadriel herself, this had been an odd vision.

Haldir had not been shown the past, present, or future. What he had seen was his brother, as if he was interacting with him from the Halls of Mandos. Had his brother been trying to warn him about something? Was he going to die during this up and coming battle?

A small flicker of fear caused Haldir's heart to skip a beat as he pondered this. If he chose to decipher the vision that way, he could have very well been seeing the future, where he was interacting with Orophin because they were both dead.

It was not a reassuring thought.

Though Haldir had led a rather long and productive life, he was certainly not ready for it to end. There were still many things he had not experienced that he wanted to. Things he would prefer to do in Arda.

Really, he should not even have to ponder death in such a way! Elves were not meant to die! When it came down to it, Haldir wanted to sail to Valinor at a time of his choosing and surpass death, as that gift was not meant for the Eldar.

It was there though. This was how he had interpreted the vision and it was really the only possibility he could draw from his otherworldly encounter with Orophin.

Haldir was going to die.

Or at least, that was the most reasonable conclusion he could draw from all of this. Really, this was a very inopportune time for him to die, as he was now tied up with another.

There was Belegwen—Belegwen whom he cared about, Belegwen whom he had fought for so she would give him one more chance that he did not deserve.

Belegwen, whom he loved, even if he could not admit it to her face.

If only he could tell her. If only there was some way they could-

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by two strong arms wrapping around his neck and a light kiss to the top of his head. "Brother." Haldir acknowledged, knowing that Rumil was the only ellon who would give him such a greeting.

"Haldir." Rumil's telltale voice said back. "I am on a short break and thought you might desire a bit of company."

"Indeed, I do." He said as Rumil came into his line of vision. "I have been sitting at this desk for far too long."

"Perhaps sitting on your balcony for a little while would give you a nice change in scenery." Rumil suggested, already heading out the open wall without waiting for Haldir to agree.

Haldir followed him out without argument and sat down beside him in the shade, dangling his legs off the balcony just like his brother. A small smile crept up on his face as the warm sunlight hit his face. Indeed, it had been far too long since he had been away from his desk.

"I was glad to hear that you are on friendly terms with Belegwen again." Rumil said bluntly, which resulted in Haldir whipping his head around to glare at Rumil for bringing up this particular topic which he desperately wanted to avoid.

"You are annoyed with me for bringing it up." Rumil said, looking a bit sad that Haldir had not received his comment in a better manner. "I just wanted to say that I am glad you two have gotten close. You have not had much in the way of companionship recently and I am glad you have found some."

Haldir made no comment in return to this. One voice inside of his head was telling him to confide in Rumil about Belegwen. The other half of him insisted that such an action would prove he was a hypocrite, as he had condemned Rumil for being romantically involved with Belegwen when the whole incident had started all those weeks ago.

Overall, Haldir really did need advice on the matter. He did not know how to handle this situation that he was now tangled within. Advice seemed like a luxery though and Haldir knew he could not ask for it from Rumil. He and Belegwen had to remain a secret at least until the battle was over, then perhaps there would be some chance of happiness for them.

That is, if Haldir made it through the battle.

"Brother, you are troubled." Rumil said softly. Haldir's eyes met Rumil's once again and saw concern for him in his eyes. "Am I no longer a trusted confidant?"

"Of course brother," Haldir said, trying his best to reassure Rumil, "It is just a trivial matter. Do not concern yourself with it."

However, when Rumil's hand grabbed Haldir's arm, he knew he was not going to get away with any more excuses. "Haldir, every time you say that, it really is an important matter! I am worried about you! You used to tell Orophin and I everything! You have not been yourself since... since he passed."

"I know." Haldir answered after a long pause. Then, at a whisper he said, "I saw him."

Rumil's eyebrows dipped down in confusion. "What are you talking about Haldir?"

"I saw Orophin in the lady's mirror." Haldir said almost inaudibly.

Rumil held onto Haldir's arm tightly and showed no signs of letting go. When Rumil said nothing, Haldir continued. "She said the mirror would show my past, present, or future, but this was more interactive. It was like his spirit was really there in the water. The Lady did not know what it meant."

"Oh Haldir," Rumil muttered and a few seconds later, Haldir felt his brother's arms around his shoulders. It took Haldir a second to decide what to do, but he found himself returning the embrace quietly. Though Haldir would have never actively sought such comfort for himself, he would openly receive that which was freely given to him. Indeed, he appreciated his brother's efforts greatly.

However, there was no need to go into details about his own hypothesis. After all, Haldir's theory was only a theory at best and he did not want to worry his brother about what he thought might be his last battle in the living world.

Really, there was no need to trouble anyone about the matter.

Thusly, Haldir resolved to tell no one of his new development. The elves around him certainly had enough on their minds with the war to worry about. He had all the comfort he needed in his brother's embrace.

"You do not know its meaning then?" Rumil questioned quietly without relinquishing his hold on Haldir.

"No, I do not." Haldir said, lying with ease as he had been trained to do so long ago.

"What a terrible time to experience such a thing." Rumil said, finally pulling away to look Haldir in the eyes. Haldir was prepared for this though and gave him a smile of sincerity, even though his heart was quaking within his chest.

"I know." He replied, looking down to try and get his thoughts under control.

"Brother, you cannot let this get to you." Rumil said firmly, grasping his arm with renewed vigor, "If you are distracted during the battle, bad things could happen and I will not have it."

Oh dear, perhaps it was a bad idea to tell Rumil. Perhaps he would draw his own conclusions. The last thing that Haldir had wanted to do was worry his brother, but it seemed as though it had happened anyway.

"You must not die, Haldir. You must not leave me alone." Rumil said most adamantly. "I would be the only family member left if you were to die! I do not know if I can deal with that!" He said pleadingly.

"Brother," Haldir said, trying to be the voice of reason in this awkward situation. He really had not expected Rumil to act like this, but in the back of his head, it made sense. Slowly, their family was dwindling down to nothing and Orophin's death was still an unhealed wound. "I cannot promise you such a thing. You know that." He said slowly, taking one of Rumil's hands in his own.

"You also know that I have much experience in battle, more than any other warden in these woods. Do you doubt my skill brother?" Haldir asked.

"Certainly not, but I still worry. You are my brother and I love you dearly. I do not want you to do something careless because your mind is full of things other than the battle at hand." Rumil said.

"I will not be careless Rumil. You know this. We have better things to be worried about than this-" Haldir started.

"Really?" Rumil said, interrupting him. "The last time I checked, the welfare of my brother-"

"Erthalion, Rumil." Haldir said sternly, "I am worried about the situation with Belegwen and Erthalion."

"Oh, indeed." Rumil said, as he gave Haldir a look that told him the previous subject would be broached again later. "I suppose he is coming with us then, so we can watch over him?"

"Yes, it was part of Belegwen's decree that we take him along and watch him so the same situation will not occur again. Still, I do not think this is the right course of action, but there will be no swaying her. He must come along." Haldir said, clearly frustrated as he put one hand over his face in exasperation.

"I assume you do not want this?" Rumil questioned as he watched him closely.

Haldir rolled his eyes, his annoyance continuing to grow. "Of course I do not want this! It is one more thing to worry about! I cannot even talk it over with her because I fear I will lose her cooperation and I need her to be working with me if we are going to lead this army!" He said, getting progressively louder.

After realizing that he was nearly yelling at Rumil, he put his hands over his face and laid down on the balcony, his feet still dangling off the side. The stress of everything was pressing down on him with the force of a boulder and could barely move under its weight. The fact that Rumil was viewing his weakness right now was not helping the situation either.

Despite this, he did feel a bit of comfort as Rumil's hand clamped down tightly over his shoulder. "Brother," he said softly, but steadily, "Everything will work out according to plan."

After a long pause, Haldir whispered back, "I hope you are right."

ooOoo

After a long day, Belegwen entered the stairwell that led up to the warden's quarters and slowly ascended the stairs. She was more tired than she had imagined possible. Belegwen had no idea what she could do about it either because the soldiers of Lothlorien were meeting up with the soldiers from Imladris outside of the Golden Wood early the next morning.

The last few days had seemed like an eternity as Belegwen had worked nonstop on the list that Haldir had given her, doing everything from teaching extra sword lessons to strategizing with Lord Celeborn. Now all she really wanted was a nice bath and to get a few hours of sleep before dawn. However, there was one last thing on her list.

See Marchwarden Haldir for last minute assignments.

Somehow, that was not an appealing end to the list.

Feeling annoyed and rather sad that she had not been able to attend the leave taking celebration that was still going on, Belegwen slowly made her way through the warden's halls and soon found herself in front of Haldir's doorway.

For a long while she stood there in silence, listening to the light music and sounds of merriment that could be detected even at the top of the warden's halls. Honestly, Belegwen was a bit afraid of what Haldir might say when she went in there. She had already checked the draft sheet to make sure that Erthalion was going and he was, but Belegwen knew Haldir would not be happy about it. Also, if he was under the same amount of stress that she was, he might not be in a very good mood.

Indeed, she had heard rumors of an overly snarky marchwarden terrorizing those who showed any sort of incompetence during his last few classes. Though she had not seen Haldir in the last few days, she imagined that such tales were not far from the truth.

Truly, she did not want to see Haldir if he was angry. She was giving him one more chance, one _last_ chance, and she did not want him to spoil it because of the numerous things that were sure to be plaguing his mind. No, she wanted things to go according to plan this time. Neither of them needed to start fading again at a time like this.

Gathering up her strength of will, she quietly knocked on his door and was surprised when it immediately opened. She found herself standing face to face with one tired, but smiling marchwarden. The moment his eyes flickered down and up her body seductively, she knew there would not be any last minute assignments.

At least, not any unpleasant ones.

"Marchwarden." She said, acknowledging him formally. Belegwen was determined to maintain their cover until the door was closed, even if his eyes were already wandering lasciviously over her body.

Belegwen quickly walked in and watched as Haldir shut the door. After that welcome, she had expected him to come onto her immediately, but was surprised when he looked at her face with analyzing eyes. "Belegwen." He finally said, greeting her rather belatedly. "Shall we sit on the balcony?" He said, reaching a hand out to her all while staring into her eyes. Neither of them could look away.

She gently took hold of his smooth hand and he slowly started to pull her towards the balcony, a mysterious smile on his face—one she had not seen before. "You have been planning something." She said softly as intrigue danced in her eyes.

"Perhaps," he answered, stopping as they stood on the balcony. He put his hands on her hips and suddenly drew very close to her. "Are you still angry with me?" He whispered, his lips tickling the edge of her ear gently as he held her close.

"No." She whispered back, pulling away to look into his mischievous eyes. "I am not."

He smiled down at her. "Very well then. My lady, may I have this dance?" He asked. However, he only gave her a enough time to make an awestruck face before grabbing her up and whirling her around the balcony to the light wisps of a fast dance that could be heard well-enough from their perch above the city.

Belegwen gasped as she was lifted into the air while he twirled. Quickly, she got her muddled mind pulled together and felt her feet leading her in a familiar dance that she had not partaken in for a rather long time. Not surprisingly, Haldir was quite light on his feet and together they moved more smoothly than she ever remembered moving during a dance. It was almost as if she could anticipate his motions...

It was almost as if she could hear him counting out the beats in her mind.

Surely that was only her imagination though. Belegwen knew as well as any other elf that a mind connection could only form between two elves if they were married. Belegwen had not went through any such ceremony with Haldir.

A bit confused with this new discovery, Belegwen quickly put it out of her head and tried to concentrate on moving with him, meeting his eyes and smiling as they danced in the glow of the silver leaves.

After three strong dances, Haldir suddenly dropped to the ground and Belegwen let out a small yelp as he took her with him to the floor. His body easily cushioned her landing though and with a single glance into his eyes, she knew he had done that on purpose. Tickled with this mindless flirtation, Belegwen giggled as he playfully kissed her on the face while rolling around on the balcony with her. When she finally managed to get on top again, both stopped to catch their breath, though the magical twinkle in their eyes never faded.

"You are a good dancer." Belegwen said with a large smile, her hand stroking his rosy cheek gently as they looked at one another.

"Indeed, and you have much improved since we last danced. You do remember that occasion, do you not?" He asked as he pulled the upper half of her body closer to his, both of them finally starting to breath normally again.

"Oh. Oh, you remember that?!" She asked, looking at him with shock. "I cannot believe you remember that!"

"How could I forget those olden days when Lord Celeborn was so desperately trying to make you into 'a proper lady.' You had such a terrible look of ire on your face while we danced that one would have thought I had sent you into the very clutches of Sauron himself."

"Yes... well, learning to dance was just one more step in a direction I did not wish to head. I hope you were not too offended by my rudeness at the time." She said, remembering how she had 'accidentally' stomped on his toes to end her dance lesson that Lord Celeborn had insisted upon. Feeling a bit embarrassed with her younger self's rebellion, she looked down at Haldir and began drawing small circles on his chest idly with a feather-light touch that made him shiver involuntarily underneath her.

"No, I was not. Even I had heard the gossip about you not complacently following Lord Celeborn's orders at the time. I was very much not surprised by your uprising." That said, his lips lifting up to hers with a ferocity that she immediately latched onto.

It was the first deep kiss they had shared since their three month fight and the moment their lips touched, there was almost an electric shock of power which passed between the two of them. Immediately, Belegwen felt her body nearly explode with passion as his lips caressed hers with a harshness that suggested just how much he had missed her during his absence.

When they finally broke away, both panting heavily, Belegwen quickly asked airily, "Is everything in place for tomorrow or are there more things for us to complete?"

Immediately, Haldir's visage scrunched into a look of confusion. Belegwen decided to elaborate. "I meant, was there truly anything more I needed to do tonight, or was that a mistake on the list you made for me?"

Haldir's odd face immediately returned to normal and he kissed her once again, this time much softer, before replying. "No, all is prepared for our leave tomorrow, but it was no mistake either. I was hoping for your company tonight, sweet warden. May I have it?" He questioned, looking serious for the first time that night. "It will be our last opportunity for a long time."

Belegwen looked down as a sad feeling passed over her. Perhaps it would be their last time ever. What if he died? Confound it all, she knew such thoughts were ruining the mood between them, yet she could not seem to stop them.

"Belegwen, do not think such things." Haldir said softly, as she quickly got to her feet in an attempt to avoid him and his questioning. "I am not going to die."

There was a long bout of silence before she finally managed to turn back towards him, only to find him standing a mere two paces away from her. "You read my thoughts." She accused, though her voice sounded more confused than angry.

"Yes, I did." He admitted with an equally confused look on his face. "Though... I do not know how." He said, trailing off softly.

Belegwen put her hand over her forehead in irritation and seemed to be struggling for words that refused to come. Worriedly, Haldir came over to her and gently pried the hand away from her face before gripping both of her hands tightly in his own. "Belegwen, I will talk to the lady about these odd occurrences when we return. Do not fret, I am certain she will have an explanation-"

"Haldir, you think you are going to die!" She suddenly blurted out, grasping his hands as tightly as she could. She had felt it, heard the thought whisper in the back of her head and now she was suddenly terrified for him. The world blurred around her and she started to breathe heavily as panic set in.

Just before she lost all control, she felt his strong hands push her up against the wall with a little more force than she was used to. While the action had not really hurt, it surprised her and so she stared up at him, giving him her full attention.

"Belegwen, listen to me." He said with a commanding tone. "I do not understand what is happening to us, but I need you to cease your panicking. We have to leave tomorrow working together and looking fearless as we go and face the bowels of Arda. If something should happen to me, you must lead; you know this. I trust you to do this and you must promise me you will, no matter how terrible you feel. We have sworn ourselves to this duty before all else and we must see it through to the very end. You are ready for such feats, if the need should arise. Now promise me you will do this." He stated calmly.

A large entourage of emotions passed over Belegwen after hearing this. As clearly as day, she could sense the thoughts he had about the lady's mirror, the image of his brother within, and the hypothesis he had come up with himself. Indeed, it felt odd to read someone else's thoughts, almost invasive. After all, neither had consented to allow such a thing, yet here it was.

Could Haldir be wrong though? Belegwen could think of very few instances where his instincts had failed him. The belief that he was wrong, however, would be the only thing that would sustain her throughout the journey to Helm's Deep and so she clung her hope with the strength of a mortal.

Never had she imagined that she might have to choose between duty and love. Haldir had already made his choice, but Belegwen had known that all along. He had married into the life of a soldier first and would defend his land no matter the cost. Belegwen did not have quite as much devotion as him. Few did. However, deep down, she knew what must be done.

"I promise Haldir." She said softly, "I promise that if you should fall, I will push my emotions aside and lead as you have trained me."

Both of them stared at each other intensely as they analyzed the seriousness of the situation. The mutual feeling of shared duty lingered between them and united them mentally in a way that nothing else would.

Then, without a second's hesitation, Haldir kissed her boldly, with the passion of an elf who had been starved. Indeed, he had been starved for her for more than three months now. Quickly melding together, they made love one last time before their leave-taking the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear what you think! Thanks for reading!


	34. Rumil's Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! This is the last of the short chapters! Next week you'll get to start reading the third and final writing phase, which was all completed in 2020! Enjoy!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 34: Rumil's Discovery

Soft tendrils of light floated down from the sky and illuminated Haldir's room with a soft silver glow. Taking in a slow breath, Haldir inhaled the scent of Belegwen's hair as he nuzzled his head against hers gently. He listened to her breathe, feeling the ever so slight movement of her chest against his arm as she slept peacefully against him.

Tenderly, Haldir sifted his fingers through her hair and watched as each individual strand was bathed in moonlight. Merciful shores, she was beautiful...

What if this was the last time they laid like this?

Haldir squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he felt the clenching pain start up in his chest again—the one he felt every time he thought about dying. Surely this battle could not be his last! He did not want to think that this could be his last night sleeping with her pressed warmly against his body.

Just in case, he opened his eyes and tried to commit every little detail of her into his memory: the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips, the peaceful look on her face while her eyes were glazed over with reverie, her loose hairs tickling his shoulder mysteriously every time a breeze blew through the window... Everything.

The familiarity of her was a comfort in and of itself. They had been together like this so many times, so close to one another that it was hard to tell where one body ended and the other began. She almost seemed like an extension of himself, lying there peacefully beside him.

Haldir's last few months had felt rather empty due to the lack of this closeness. He hoped it was not as problematic when they went off to war. So far, they were not arguing about anything and if they were on good terms, he imagined that they would both be able to put up with the lack of touch. Well, at least for a little while.

Really, Haldir was not sure if he could go that long without acknowledging her in this way. It was easy enough to keep their secret in Lothlorien because they could find privacy often enough to express their relationship. However, while traveling with an army, there would be no such thing as privacy.

The more Haldir thought about it, the more he really did not want to leave. He had grown quite used to these quiet moments with her and found that he greatly enjoyed them, perhaps even more than when they actually entered into their sexual acts. Seeing her so calm and placid made him relax. He knew Belegwen had seen little happiness in her long life and so it pleased him greatly to see her during moments where she was not tense or stressed.

Haldir had little say in the matter of whether or not he left though. If he was truly meant to die then it would happen as surely as day would replace night. Therefore, this could be his last night with her.

Haldir did not want to have any regrets. He needed to tell her how he felt because it was possibly his last chance. Now under pressure that he had never felt before, Haldir was quite tempted to do it.

However, he knew he would not. He was too afraid, for what if she did not return his affections? Because of his duty, he could not risk the chance of fading again. His wardens needed him.

If he could make it back though, if his prediction was really just something he made up in his mind, perhaps there was hope for it after the battle. If he could brave fighting Orcs and Uruk-hai, then surely he could ask the lady to amend her warden's code so an allowance could be made.

Yes, he would place his hope in such a thing. It would be the only thing that would make the trip tolerable, thinking about how he could have her when he got back. If he came back, perhaps they could get married and sleep together like this every night.

Perhaps Haldir could call her his wife.

Smiling softly at such a wonderful thought, Haldir lost himself in a plethora of daydreams as he absently stroked the valley between her soft breasts. When he heard her sharp intake of breath, he immediately found himself back in reality.

"Haldir," she murmured, sounding tired as she turned to face him, "Why are you not asleep?"

Haldir studied her worried eyes as he felt her gently brush a few strands of his light hair away from his face and back behind his ear. Her hand then proceeded to pass over his ear and came to a resting place on the side of his face, leaving a tingling trail in its wake.

"Troubled thoughts," he answered hoarsely. "Nothing more."

Her soft eyes were suddenly sympathetic as she surveyed his countenance. "Haldir, please try to put your work aside for the night. You need your sleep to be ready for the journey. Your problems can wait until tomorrow." She whispered, rubbing her thumb across his cheek.

A feeling of warmth passed through his body as she looked at him with a soft sparkle in her eyes. Belegwen cared about him—cared about how he felt tomorrow and what was bothering him now. It made him happy to have someone who would try to comfort him, which helped his thoughts stray away from the battle and become more present with the elleth resting beside him.

Leaning forward, he closed his eyes and gave her a soft peck on her lips before laying back down on his pillow and watching her again. Then, the words started to fall from his lips without his permission. "Belegwen… I…"

He wanted to tell her so badly as he looked into her eyes. He wanted to tell her how much he wanted their situation to be different, what he wished to ask of the lady at the end of all this chaos, how afraid he was that this might be their last night together...

How much he loved her.

Then again, judging by the way she was looking at him right now, perhaps she already knew.

"Haldir," she said in an even softer voice than before. "Wait until morning."

Then she scooted up higher on the bed, gently took his head in her hands and guided it onto her breasts comfortably. She started stroking his hair once more after he had settled in. He felt his new cushion rise and fall gently while he wrapped his arms around her body, caressing her sides with reverence. He could hear her heart beating steadily in her chest; he focused on listening to that and slowly pushed all other thoughts from his head.

"Sleep," she whispered, and sleep he did.

ooOoo

When the two finally stopped moving and he was certain they were asleep, Rumil gently closed the door to Haldir's talan. Once he silently closed the door, he stood staring at the doorknob in silence for the longest time.

It could not be!

It was though; he had seen it with his own two eyes!

What a fool he had been—this was happening under his nose the whole time and he had not noticed it until now! Everything that had happened over the past three months made much more sense when paired with the knowledge he had acquired tonight: the fading, the arguing, the concern for each other's well-being, the mistrust over his friendship with Belegwen… The list went on and on!

Now, Rumil remembered how Haldir had condemned him and accused him of breaking the rules with Belegwen and his blood started to boil. The hypocrite! How dare he give a long-winded speech on such things when it was he who was actually carrying out the actions! Confused and more than a little hurt, Rumil chose to take a run through the city to try to get rid of his frustrations.

As he made his way down the stairs and out the door, all he could think about was how Haldir was breaking the rules. This was not like him at all—Haldir was not one to flirt with chance, or ellyth for that matter, so how in the world had all of this happened?

Of course, the answer to this question was easily found because Rumil knew his brother.

Through the years, Haldir had seemingly little to no interest in normal ellyth; most of them simply bored him to death with their gossip. No, Haldir loved nothing more than his post and position in Lothlorien and had clearly needed someone to share that with. Who better than Belegwen, who felt the same way? Who better than Belegwen, who spent her entire day in his presence?

Really, it was quite obvious. How had he missed this before?

That was obvious too. One would not expect the lead Marchwarden of Lothlorien to be breaking the rules he worked so hard to enforce. Rumil could only imagine what sort of mental battle Haldir had fought before forging his illicit relationship with Belegwen. Haldir was a strict rule keeper and such actions did not fit in within his normal personality.

Had Belegwen changed him?

Rumil doubted that as he silently rounded a corner and ran into a stone-paved garden. Belegwen was not the rule breaking sort either. After all, there had been so much prejudice about her being a warden. Belegwen knew she could not afford to make any mistakes because many of the wardens would have immediately reported any false steps with the hope of getting her removed. Indeed, Belegwen had always treaded with care, no matter what the task at hand.

Perhaps the whole situation was simply too much for him to comprehend.

Indeed, this was probably the most truthful thought he had come by all night.

No longer willing to think about his brother's confusing dalliance with his best friend, Rumil stopped thinking about them and strictly focused on the burning in his thighs as he put one foot in front of the other to a steady rhythm.


	35. Leave-Taking

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything associated with Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and will not make any money off my writing.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 35: Leave-Taking

_Haldir's eyes opened. Above him was a plethora of golden leaves; the shine of the sun reflected off their glittery edges and nearly blinded him with their bright sheen. The tips of the lowest leaves brushed across his face, leaving a light tickling sensation. The wind blew roughly through their midst and lightly cooled his face._

_He could not move. Panic immediately filled Haldir's heart as he tried to pull his arms and legs away from the talan floor. He could not seem to get them away from the uncomfortable position they were sprawled in. Even his head would not turn; it too was stuck to the floor rather unceremoniously. When his lips failed to move while trying to call for help, Haldir knew he was in trouble._

_All he had were his eyes and they moved back and forth vigorously, trying to check for any danger that might be surrounding him. Now the world around him felt a little too calm and a little too quiet for his liking. Something was afoot—he didn't know how he knew it, but he did._

_An indefinite amount of time passed where Haldir just laid on the ground, fully alert and poised for action, should his mysterious paralysis wear off. Knowing better than to relax, Haldir waited patiently for something to happen._

_He was not disappointed. A while later, the sound of nearly silent steps could be heard from the other side of the talan. Haldir tensed up a bit, not knowing how he would defend himself if attacked._

_A shadow crawled across his face, blocking the sun. For a moment, he could not see the face in the shade, but then it became all too clear._

_Orophin._

_He was staring at Orophin._

_His brother did not look like his normal self. Usually, his face had a casual, carefree nature to it. Now, it was darkened with malice. Upon seeing a malevolent gleam in his eyes, Haldir tried to move again._

_He couldn't escape. The invisible bonds held him tightly and he could not free himself. Blood pumped through his veins faster as the face came towards him._

_Orophin knelt down beside him and his stringy blonde hair brushed Haldir's cheeks. His face came closer and closer to his own. Haldir tried to roll away several times, but he was stuck!_

_Then, as a hand wrapped around his neck harshly, eerily soft words were whispered in his ear._

" _You are not coming home, Haldir. Not coming-"_

"Home!" Haldir abruptly said as he shot into a sitting position.

After a quick glance around the darkened room, he realized he had merely been dreaming. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to relax himself.

A warm hand brushed his side and lingered there. Haldir turned around and looked into Belegwen's questioning eyes, which were now as aware as his own. He still felt a bit shaken from his dream though and chose to lay back down beside her in silence.

He stared at the darkened ceiling for a long time, while thoughts concerning his dream scurried through his head. Vaguely, he felt her small fingers turning circles upon his chest.

"Was it a dream?" He heard her ask.

"Yes," he whispered, still staring straight ahead, as if entranced by the ceiling.

"Do you wish to speak of it?"

"Nay," he replied, feeling numb, as if he were a human freezing in the cold.

It made no sense at all, this new obsession of his with the deceased. Had the lady's mirror truly haunted him so much that he could not get the image out of his thoughts? Was he truly predicting his own death or had all the tension of the impending battle inspired a fit of madness within him?

When one was as old as he, there were very few things one did not understand. However, this was truly beyond his comprehension. It was beyond the lady's as well. He doubted that any soul could actually interpret such a vision and he was frightened by that knowledge.

His dreams for the future all seemed very far away now and out of his reach.

Belegwen was out of his reach.

"It is almost daybreak," she murmured suddenly, interrupting his thought process. "This is all so sudden."

Haldir pursed his lips for a second before replying. "Indeed."

"While I shall gladly accept my duty to the lord and lady, I am not ready to leave this talan, nor this bed."

Haldir felt his heart hardening, as he knew it would when it came time to part ways. It was a method of self-preservation at this point, as he knew that too many thoughts about love would only serve to distract him and inhibit his battle skills.

"Alas, our duty is not to ourselves, but to others: to the weak, who cannot defend themselves and to this land, where our race has both thrived and dwindled. Our calling is clear and it is time for us to put that which is between us aside for a time."

He heard her take a deep breath against him, before she replied rather darkly. "Indeed."

Gently, he pulled away from her and rose from the bed. Clad in darkness, he cleaned himself off and then slowly started to dress for the journey. As he went to put on his armor, a hand stilled his own.

Piece by piece, Belegwen carefully attired him. Each piece of armor was placed on him and tightened to perfection as she worked in silence. When he was fully clad, she directed him onto his knees and brushed his hair, stroke after stroke, until it was smooth as satin. Then, she took his golden stands and wove them into tight warrior braids; the type that were strong enough to stay in for weeks at a time, if necessary.

He knew that everything she did for him was done out of love.

Unrequited love.

Her actions made him feel very selfish, for she could show him everything she felt without words, yet he could not say what she desperately needed to hear. How could he not have seen it before? Belegwen would not simply say how she felt. She was generally a private elleth who only held a few friends close to herself. Even fewer were the ones she chose to trust. It was not her way to make declarations of love.

Instead, she chose to show him. She did not need words to convey what she felt. It was all said in the tenderness of her actions and the gentleness of her hands.

How selfish he was, to keep his own feelings so closely to himself. Did she not deserve the same courtesy in return? Why could he not bring himself to say those three tiny words?

He knew very well why. It would complicate things and make their separation even harder than it already would be. On one hand, if Belegwen did not return his love for her, Haldir knew he would fade again. That was a risk he could not take when being charged with the responsibility of leading the army into battle.

If she did return his affections though, which seemed very likely now, something much worse might happen.

Though he had tried not to dwell on it, Haldir knew there was a possibility that his death might kill her too. He was no stranger to the stories he had heard and occasionally witnessed. He had indeed seen a warden die on the border and then later heard about how his wife had passed away as well, dying from the despair of the unnatural death. It seemed the spouses of the dead would sometimes follow them into the Halls of Mandos, unable to separate themselves from the powerful bond of love they had created during their lives.

If Belegwen knew he loved her, would that fate be hers too? After all, their bond seemed to be mimicking that of a married couple, even though they had not made any vows. Haldir could not bear the idea of his death being hers as well. He simply could not allow that to happen.

It was with much regret that Haldir decided to wait. It was not a good time for such a declaration, no matter how much he wanted to make it. His duty had always been placed before his heart in the past and he saw no reason to discontinue doing so now. It was in her best interest for him to wait and so wait he would.

Trying his best not to dwell on the situation any longer, Haldir simply stopped thinking about it and took a moment to enjoy the sensation of her braiding his hair. It was over much too quickly. Looking in her mirror, he saw that she had done a good job too. _"She must only struggle to braid her own hair."_ He thought to himself as he quickly looked over her work.

Ready to face all of Arda, Haldir turned to face her one more time. He caught her eyes for a moment before she looked down at the floor dejectedly. Frowning at the dark look he had seen upon her face, he softened for a moment and took her hands in his own, holding them loosely between their tense bodies.

He did not know how long they stood there with the heavy silence beating down upon them; it could have been mere minutes or perhaps decades. All he knew in those moments was the seriousness of what had passed between them and their unified concern for what was yet to come.

Her hold on his hands abruptly tightened, causing him to look directly at her. She stared back, her eyes filled with an intensity that almost frightened him.

"This is not goodbye," she whispered deeply, her voice filled with emotion.

Haldir returned her squeeze with vigor. "No," he said quietly, then leaned down and kissed her lightly on her brow. "It is not."

Then, with a swirl of his cape, Haldir turned and exited his room before he lost his nerve. He had a duty to carry out and he could not let these emotions get in the way of it.

ooOoo

Chaos was the only word that could accurately summarize the situation in Caras Galadhon.

Normally, Belegwen would not have associated such a word with the elven lifestyle, as it was a contradiction at the very least. Today was not a typical day in elven life though and it clearly showed by the sheer amount of elves in the streets, preparing for their leave-taking.

While the crowd was not wild or out of sorts, as a crowd of men would have been, the streets of the city were not made to accommodate so many elves, horses, and wagons at once. Ellyth were flitting through the crowd of wardens, filling travel packs and desperately clinging to those whom they cared for dearly.

Belegwen found she was very happy that there were many things for her to do, as she knew her thoughts about Haldir and the last night they spent together would drive her to lunacy if she was left alone. He had become so cold that morning and she did not know how to deal with the way he shut himself off from her. She knew he had done it to get his head back into his duty, but it had hurt her to not have a proper goodbye the way the other wardens were.

Everywhere she looked, there seemed to be couples bidding one another heartfelt goodbyes. Belegwen had spent the first part of her morning watching them embracing as if they would never let go of one another and kissing each other desperately, as if it might be their last time. She had heard so many of them overcome with emotions, proclaiming their love to each other and allowing tears to fall freely as they embraced and then bid goodbye to their families. Their partings were full of sorrow and love.

Belegwen did not understand why she and Haldir had not been able to part ways in a similar manner. Granted, they would be together for the whole trip, but not as they had been in the city. As he had said earlier, _"It is time for us to put that which is between us aside for a time."_ There would be no arms lovingly wrapped around her, passionate explorations under the stars, or still moments where she watched him sleep for months. He would be there with her, but it certainly would not be the same.

A maddening part of her could hardly bear to watch the scene unfolding in the streets. Jealousy was not an emotion Belegwen was accustomed to, but she found herself tangled in its terrible clutches on this particular morning. Distraught by the couples around her, she had found herself searching for something to distract her from the memory of her icy parting from Haldir.

Therefore, she found herself sitting in one of the many packed wagons working, trying her best to ignore the heartfelt goodbyes that were taking place around her. She checked off the items on her inventory sheet one by one while Linedhel, the healer who would be traveling with them to Helm's Deep, checked for each item she listed off to him.

Linedhel was a very stern elf who always looked serious and ready to work; the type who seemed as though he never had a bit of fun. He was the obvious choice for the journey, however, as he had been a trained warden before studying healing.

"The black alder leaves are not here; I shall go request them from Eltirwen. Wait here," he said, sounding annoyed with himself for having made a small mistake. Belegwen watched as he stormed off into the crowd.

Belegwen sighed and hopped off the wagon, quickly looking through the multitude for a familiar face. A few wardens stopped and asked for directions to the ranks and she gave them, sending them deeper into the host of Eldar.

Alone once more, she quietly wondered what Haldir was doing. She had not seen him at all since they had woken up. She had a feeling that he was with Lord Celeborn going over last minute details and reviewing strategies before they left.

Next to her, quiet goodbyes were going on between a father and his grown daughter, an elleth Belegwen had once known. _"Miriel,"_ she thought to herself as she watched her hug and kiss her father with tears in her eyes. _"Her name is Miriel."_

They had been friends once, a long time ago when she was still an elfling living with her parents. Back then, she had dressed up dolls with her, long before she had dreamt of joining the wardens.

The friendship had not lasted more than ten years after her parents' passing. No one had wanted to be friends with the elleth who wished she was an elf. Still, the few memories she had of her childhood innocence were cherished, as she remembered being quite happy with her family during her first years of life.

She frowned as she watched tears flow freely from Miriel's eyes. Belegwen turned away, as it was more than she could bear. Despair lingered in the air like the permeating stench of orcs piled high and burning. While she had tried her best to ignore it, it was still there, lurking everywhere she looked.

Though all of the elves were well-trained, all knew and understood the perils of war. All were aware that any number of them may not return from this long journey. For some, this would be their last goodbye.

Wearily, Belegwen found herself thinking of her own parents and what they would have thought about her going off to war like this. She could not imagine them approving of her actions, though she found them necessary. Their untimely deaths had sparked within her a great need to protect those who could not defend themselves, even at the cost of her own life.

She was the last member of her family still living. If she died, they would all be gone. It would be as if they had never been there at all-

"Marchwarden Belegwen?" a voice asked, accompanied by a touch to her shoulder.

Belegwen drew in a quick breath and looked up to see Heledhril's emerald eyes shining down on her. He did not ask her if she was all right, but she could tell just by the look on his face that he was concerned about her.

"Yes Heledhril?" she asked back, feeling thankful that her voice was not laced with emotion as she had feared it would be.

"Lord Celeborn has asked to see you. He is waiting for you at the entrance of the lady's eastern gardens," he said, pointing down the street towards the entrance that was lined with blue and white blossoms. Indeed, the lord of Lothlorien was standing there. His eyes met Belegwen's and he gave her a gentle nod.

"Will you stay here in my stead and finish the inventory with Linedhel?" Belegwen asked, looking uncertainly from her list to the gate again.

"Certainly, Marchwarden. Show me where you left off," he said, taking the list and quill from her outstretched hands.

"We are on black alder; Linedhel went to fetch some. I imagine he will be back shortly."

Heledhril nodded and gave her a quick salute as she started on her way. Belegwen weaved through the crowd patiently, a little worried about the reception she was about to receive from the lord who might as well have been a second father to her.

After struggling through many elves who had not moved out of the way for her, Belegwen found herself face to face with Lord Celeborn. Today, the lord was dressed in white robes that had been spun with silver threads, giving them a bright sheen in the early morning light. Green leaves were embroidered the breasts of the robes, also shiny with hints of silver.

Belegwen smiled at him when she arrived in front of him. "My lord," she said in greeting, quickly going down on one knee as the wardens often did and saluting him with her fist to her chest.

"Belegwen," he replied, touching her shoulder gently. Though she was not looking at him, she knew he was frowning. He did not like for her to bend down before him, though they both knew her duty called her to it.

Slowly, she stood up and met Lord Celeborn's eyes. He looked happy to see her for a second, but then his face fell once again. Belegwen immediately found herself worried about the tidings this meeting would bring.

"Walk with me," he said, offering her his arm. She took it gingerly and fell into step with him as they entered the softly lit haven of plants. They walked in silence, Belegwen taking in all the sights as they circled around on the path. The air was still a bit misty even with the first rays of the sun shining down through the mellyrn. Taller bushes full of buds and blossoms rose out of the morning mist, facing the sun as if greeting a long lost friend.

"Galadriel has seen more in her mirror; the shadow grows in Mordor even as we speak. They are putting together an army there, one that will be much larger than we have anticipated."

Belegwen stopped walking and looked Celeborn straight in the eye. "What are you trying to say, my lord?"

Celeborn looked away and the shadow of a mallorn tree darkened his face. "Our chances of winning this battle are low. Even with those from Imladris and the Edain, our numbers are still marginal in comparison to the host that will be awaiting us. Do not let it become common knowledge, but I fear this is not a battle we can win."

"Why do you still send us then?" Belegwen asked softly, trying not to let fear enter her heart.

"They will be massacred without us," Celeborn said, his eyes glittering with sadness. "There are women and children there too, babies even. The orcs and uruk-hai will not give them a second glance before removing them from this world."

"We go to give them hope," Belegwen whispered, more to herself than to Celeborn. "I understand."

She watched as Celeborn stared at the stone pathway for a while. Belegwen knew what was coming, but stayed quiet nonetheless as she watched him contemplate the words he would say.

Lord Celeborn's sadness seemed to grow as he looked up at her. Gently, he put his hands on her shoulders and sighed. "You know I wish you would stay. I will not ask you though, as I already know your answer."

Belegwen smiled as she saw tears form in his eyes. "It is my honor and my privilege to fight for the freedom of this world. It is my duty, my lord, and I cannot turn my back on it. It gladdens me that you finally understand."

"Long have I wished that you would be another Celebrian to me, a little elleth to look after. Alas, it was not meant to be and I should not have expected it of you, my dear. Can you forgive me, my dearest Belegwen?" he asked sincerely, looking as though he truly needed to hear the answer. He opened his arms to her.

Smiling, she gently leaned into his warm arms and cherished the feeling of being embraced. "There is nothing to forgive," she murmured into his delicate satin robes.

He pulled her a bit tighter against him, causing his silver tresses to tickle Belegwen's nose as she breathed in his soft cologne, which smelled like the pine trees of the northern lands. "I love you," he said gruffly, his voice filled with emotion. "Do be careful and know that you will never be far from my thoughts."

"I will," Belegwen said softly, her lips moving against his arm before she pulled away to look him in the eyes. This was the elf who had all but taken her departed adar's place. He had given her a home when she had nowhere else to go and had schooled her in the ways of the elves. No one had cared for her as much as Celeborn had for the majority of her life.

"I shall do my best to return to you," she said, giving his hand one last squeeze before totally letting go of him.

Celeborn was blinking away tears. "Go now. You should go find your spot in the formation. I will be there in a little while to send you off."

Belegwen bowed and saluted before looking at him one last time. "Goodbye, my lord."

"Goodbye," he answered emotionally, turning away from her so she would not see his tears. Quietly, she turned away and slowly walked out of the garden, only turning back once at the gates to savor the beauty of it for what she thought might be the very last time.

ooOoo

Rumil watched Haldir, his eyes scrutinizing his every move, waiting for his signal. The moment Haldir's fist went over his heart, Rumil copied the pose, as did every warden standing in the ranks outside the city.

A sizable gathering stood around their formation, watching in silence as they simultaneously bowed their heads for the prayer Lord Celeborn was about to bestow upon them.

Rumil closed his eyes and let the words wash over him like a fresh spring rain. "Great and wise Valar, you have blessed this world with many gifts. Our wardens march to defend these gifts today.

"Tulkas, please send them strength and intelligence in war. Stay with our wardens and guide them to make the right strategic choices so that they might return once more to their homes in Lorien."

"Orome, please guide the hunts of our wardens and help them to catch nourishing food when it is needed. Also, give them the speed to travel the long distance to their destination in a timely manner."

"In the same way, Yavanna, please provide our wardens with the fruits and vegetables they need for nourishment along the way. The health of our wardens is important to their performance while protecting Arda."

"Este, please help our wardens find safe places to relax and relieve themselves of their many burdens for short periods of time. Wipe their weariness away so they might fully concentrate on the goal before them."

"Nienna, please comfort our wardens and give them hope, both in life and in death, if fate so chooses. Please also send hope to the wardens' loved ones, who will await their arrival patiently from Lorien."

"Varda, please light the path of our wardens, by day with the sun and by night with the stars. Please shine light on their foes so they might be seen more clearly."

"And Manwe, please bless their journey and help the wardens succeed in protecting all that you and the Valar strove to create whilst in our world. Guide them in the ways of light and help them fulfill their destinies under the watchful eyes of Eru Iluvatar, for we are his people and wish to protect all that he has blessed us with. Many thanks be to those in Valinor!"

"Aye!" replied the voices of every ellon and elleth in the valley.

All heads rose up amongst the ranks. Rumil's eyes immediately returned to Haldir, awaiting further instruction. He watched as Haldir bowed before the lord and lady, as was traditional during a leave-taking ceremony. Haldir then returned to the front of the ranks and nodded at Belegwen, who nodded back in tradition to signify that the ranks were ready for departure.

Rumil watched as the two interchanged with one another, but was disappointed when he saw no hint of shared love between them. He silently concluded that they must be excellent at keeping their secret and had become accustomed to hiding their feelings. This made sense, as he knew Haldir rarely ever expressed his personal emotions. Rumil knew that Belegwen was the same. After all, she had kept her immense suffering over Haldir a secret until he had coaxed it out of her nearly seven fortnights after Haldir had stormed off to the borders.

Idly, Rumil wondered exactly how long this romance had been going on between the two. Merciful shores, had that been why Belegwen received the honor of being second in command?

Rumil could hardly bear the thought of Haldir giving out such a prominent position in return for sexual favors. It was unlike him to do anything that was not to the advantage of Lorien. He did not think Haldir would do such a thing.

Still, there was something there. Rumil needed to know what had happened between them to create this sort of relationship. He also wanted to know how serious they were about each other. Perhaps their mutual need for comfort had been the only thing that brought them together.

Perhaps not though. Rumil did not know, but he could not stop thinking about it. He knew that if anyone else saw what he had witnessed the previous night, all the evils of Mordor would be set loose among the wardens.

Rumil grimaced as they started to march forward upon Haldir's command. He knew this journey across the lands of Arda would be torture, as his mind was filled with horrific accusations and fears about his brother and friend. He could not rid himself of them and knew he would not until he acquired some answers.

ooOoo

Celeborn watched with fear in his heart as the ranks of wardens marched away from them bravely towards the borders of the Lothlorien woods. Many of them had been his students at one point in time. He had watched them grow up centuries and millennia ago.

He knew Galadriel could feel his desolation. A moment later her hand gently slid into his own. Then, her murmured words echoed through his head.

_"There is hope yet, Celeborn. Do not despair."_

They stood in silence for a time, watching as the last of the wardens climbed up the highest of hills and then disappeared behind the opposite side. As they watched the last few ranks disappear over the hilltop, Celeborn knew what information his wife was waiting to hear.

"I did not tell her," he replied to her unspoken question. He felt greater hopelessness upon admitting this, as he still was not certain if he had made the right choice.

"Sometimes it is best to let things take their natural course," she replied, this time out loud.

Together, they stood and watched the gathering of elves disperse amongst the forest paths which led back to their grand city. Once everyone had left them, Galadriel laid one of her pale hands upon his cheek.

"My love, when the time comes, she will not fail them. It is her destiny," Galadriel said, peering into his eyes serenely.

"Her destiny is accompanied by the fall of another," Celeborn whispered, knowing that she would understand the implication behind his fear.

"Nothing is certain yet," she said, then brushed her lips against his cheek. "Hope is not lost."

"I will not stop fretting over this until they have returned safely to Lothlorien," Celeborn replied while stroking her hand with his thumb.

"Nor will I," she replied, looking towards the high path once again as if to see the wardens returning already. "Nor will I."


	36. Glances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! This marks the beginning of the chapters I wrote in 2020! In a way, this is almost like a "Part 2" to the story, as it has a different feel now that the elves have left Lorien! I hope you enjoy all of my hard work from last year!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 36: Glances

He was so close, yet so far away.

Belegwen could hardly believe how difficult the last few days had been because of this. After their lackluster goodbye, she was now cursed to march next to Haldir silently, unable to even speak freely with him as they began their voyage towards Helm's Deep. In silence, the marchwardens led the ranks side by side, expertly directing the soldiers with hand signals and birdcalls.

Up and down valleys they went, pressing onward to the tops of rolling hills and trudging gracefully across the flattened grasslands. Belegwen was constantly mirroring at Haldir's side and was only a couple of paces to his right at all times. Despite this, loneliness seemed to be her only steady companion for the journey.

The cold marchwarden persona that Haldir was renowned for had overtaken him and the unguarded side Belegwen had grown accustomed to was gone. She had never before seen him so completely consumed by his duty. It was clear to Belegwen that he took the safety of the group's passage very seriously. When she could hear an occasional thought from him within her mind, it seemed as if he was always alert, watching for danger and planning how to best get their army across the obstacles that awaited them. He was fully devoted to his mission now and had invested himself in getting them to Helm's Deep within the next few months.

All Belegwen had left of him were glances.

Her eyes would glance over at his rigid figure every so often, checking to see if she was marching at the same pace as him. At times, she glanced over at him to carefully study his hand signals so she could relay the appropriate message to the soldiers behind her at the exact same time. There were also times when she glanced at him for no reason at all other than to see him. A small amount of reassurance could be found in simply knowing he was right beside her, acting as dutifully as she. While they had set their relationship aside, they could still feel camaraderie together as brother and sister in arms, marching for an important unified cause. Belegwen tried to focus on their cause as they went about their travels.

Occasionally, she also caught herself giving him selfish glances, the type of glances she could not seem to control. Once in a while she caught herself glancing at him and admiring how he looked in his armor or appreciating how the sunlight sparkled atop his golden head. Though she was ashamed to admit it, she had even caught herself glancing at his hands at one point and had launched herself into a vivid daydream about what those hands had been capable of within the privacy of her talan.

 _"_ _Shame on you!"_ Belegwen thought to herself every time this happened and then had spent the subsequent minutes mentally berating herself and trying to get her head back into the right place.

These self-centered thoughts were ill suited for the serious journey they were currently embarked upon. Belegwen knew she needed to be more focused on the task at hand and secretly wished her mind was more disciplined like Haldir's. Sometimes during the monotony of their march though, she could not seem to help but fall into a pool of thoughts about him and their relationship.

Belegwen was terribly embarrassed by the thoughts as well. The night before they left Lothlorien, she had found out that Haldir could now read some of her thoughts through the bond that was somehow strengthening between the two of them. Belegwen did not want him to know about these thoughts though! She sincerely hoped he did not know how she was mooning over him during their marches. Neither of them needed the additional distraction of those particular thoughts when they were trying to lead.

As it was, Belegwen already feared that Haldir was more distracted than he was letting on. Though his face never betrayed a single emotion, Belegwen knew he was desperately concerned about the vision of Orophin he had seen in Lady Galadriel's mirror before they left Lothlorien. While he had chosen not to tell her about his nightmare before their leave-taking, Belegwen suspected it had something to do with that. It had been the center of his attention before they made love and Belegwen had been aware of him thinking it over while she had readied him for the day the morning after.

What if Haldir's fears drove him to distraction during the journey? What if being distracted was what truly led to an untimely fate for him?

Shaking her head briefly, Belegwen sighed internally and tried her best not to think about that possibility. The thought of him dying was unspeakable. She hoped he was not dwelling on those thoughts either.

The sun was now quickly disappearing into the west, painting the sky with deep pinks, purples, and blues as the first few stars started to shine above them. Glancing at Haldir as she saw him signal a circle with his hand, Belegwen found herself mimicking it and then watched as the soldiers dispersed from their ranks and began settling around the creek bed where they had stopped to camp for the night. For the first time all day, voices could be heard as friends began to chat quietly amongst themselves.

A line started to form in front of the dining wagon as Esgalamon, the elf who had come to serve the ranks, broke off a bit of lembas bread for each elf to eat for the day. Once fed, the first group of soldiers would begin standing watch, encircling the campsite while the other half settled in for the first half of the night.

"I will take the first watch tonight." Haldir said to Belegwen before turning away and weaving through the ranks. The two of them had been trading jobs in the middle of the night, just as all the training partners were amid the ranks. Relieved that she would get to rest soon, Belegwen quickly got into line for her lembas bread.

Once fed, she found herself walking downhill to the creek with the hopes that the water might be clean enough to splash on her face. As she knelt down to inspect the dark water, she was interrupted by a voice whispering her name.

Turning around to try and find the voice, she eventually caught sight of Rumil, who was close to the water and hiding in the shadows amongst a patch of tall reeds several paces away from her. She watched as he signaled for her to come and join him. Quickly, she snuck into the green reeds, being careful to avoid the thick mud at the waters edge. As she started to question him, she found herself silenced by a strong finger on her lips.

"I have been marching behind you for the last four days and I can stand it no longer. Sit down, I am fixing this mess right now." He whispered, motioning her to sit in a relatively dry spot in front of him. Uncertain of what was happening, Belegwen complied with a look of confusion on her face.

"Rumil, what are you-hey!" She cried out as she felt him unceremoniously pulling the braids out of her hair, then shushing her once again before combing through her soft mass of silver hair with his fingers.

"Belegwen, I am your friend and as your friend there is something you must know: your hair is a disaster! I do not know how you can stand it this way!" Rumil whispered with exasperation, staring at her as she turned her head to glare at him.

"I cannot help that I am bad at braiding my hair!" She said, mentally debating on whether or not he deserved a good pummeling for his blunt words concerning her predicament. "I struggle to see what I am doing!"

"Ah, but I am good at it, my dearest Belegwen. Let me help you so that you represent Lothlorien well." He said calmly as his fingers started to braid the left hand side of her head rather tightly. With a huff, Belegwen decided to allow this. She knew she had been distracted before she left and had done a particularly terrible job on it this time. Once she had a few moments to get over the embarrassment of the situation, she found herself appreciating Rumil's offer of help.

After a long time had passed, Rumil had signaled that he was done and that she should go look at it in the creek. Carefully, she crept to the edge of the water and peered down to see her murky reflection. Belegwen was surprised by what she saw.

Rumil had not made warrior braids, but instead had made the tightly woven braids of an elleth, each starting at her forehead and stopping at her crown, there were several tight braids all in a row across the top of her head. At the crown of her head, those braids were woven into a larger braid that circled her head behind her ears, serving as a headband of sorts that separated her braids from the remainder of her long hair that hung loose behind her.

"Rumil, these are not warrior braids." She said as she voiced her thoughts aloud, wondering what had possessed him to do this to her head. Belegwen had not worn her hair styled as an elleth since she had been Lord Celeborn's ward and, quite frankly, she had not missed it.

"They are better than what you had though. See, your hair will stay out of your face this way and these braids will stay in for far longer than your loose braids." He said, defending his handiwork with a slight sound of annoyance in his voice. "Besides, why can you not look like both an elleth and a warrior? I would think the two things could coexist harmoniously."

Belegwen sighed as she resigned herself to wearing the hairdo, mostly out of fear of hurting her friend's feelings. "I am sorry if I was not appreciative, Rumil. It does look nice, but it might take me a few days to adjust to this."

Rumil smiled at her softly. "No, do not feel bad Belegwen. I knew this was not what you were expecting and I was took a risk when I started braiding. I just thought it would be nice to make you stand out for once, meldir. You are very beautiful, but often it goes unnoticed."

Belegwen rolled her eyes, as looks were hardly a priority for her, even more so now that they were camping in the wilderness. "Well, I imagine that tomorrow there will be a pack of Galadhrim wondering who the elleth is by Haldir and what she has done with Belegwen." She joked dryly, feeling a bit of anxiety over the potential stares this new hairdo would create.

"They will know it is you, silly!" Rumil said with a laugh, then leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. When he pulled back from her though, she saw an a bit of sadness in his eyes. Belegwen became worried when he gently rested his hand against her cheek and looked very seriously into her eyes. Rumil was rarely serious and she could tell that what he was about to say was important.

"Belegwen… You do know that you can tell me anything, right?" He asked, searching her eyes for something unknown. It made her feel very uncomfortable.

"Of course, Rumil. You are a trusted friend. Why do you ask this of me?" She said curiously, trying to ignore the anxiety welling up within the pit of her stomach.

Rumil looked at her for a long time, studying her eyes with an intensity that she had previously attributed to Haldir alone. Then, she watched as he turned his head and looked out amid the ranks of elves. Upon closer inspection, she found that he was looking at his brother before leveling his gaze deeply upon Belegwen once again, his eyes practically lighting her on fire with their intensity.

Oh dear Vala, _he knew!_

Belegwen was at a loss of what to do. How had Rumil found out about her and Haldir? Had Haldir told him? She sincerely doubted it, but perhaps he had. Or, perhaps Rumil just suspected? Had he seen something pass between them somehow?

Rumil was waiting for an explanation now with one eyebrow cocked up, but she did not know what to tell him or how he would react if she did. Thus, Belegwen did the one thing she felt she could do innocently enough: pretend it had not happened.

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night Rumil." She whispered, then stood up and walked away from him, inwardly panicking a bit about her feigned ignorance and wondering whether or not Rumil had bought into it. Somehow, she doubted that he had.

ooOoo

Haldir scanned the darkened field, watching the area in front of the sleeping soldiers very carefully. It was his responsibility to make sure nothing happened to them on the way to Helm's Deep and he would certainly see to it. The field around the creek was calm though, the only sounds being the scurrying of small pray moving quietly through the field, trying to pass by unnoticed.

They had been traveling for four days now and had yet to endure any setbacks in their journey. The terrain had been easy enough to contend with, mostly flat grasslands with a few hills here and there. The weather had proven to be mild too, which was a relief to all. They were making good time and were right on schedule and located where Lord Celeborn said they should be now. Everything was going according to plan, for the most part.

Now under the cover of a blackened sky filled with glistening starlight, Haldir scanned the sleeping elves that were encircled by the first group of watchers. Many elves were sleeping in small clusters with their friends around the various grassy areas of the creek. The elves in the area were mostly still and unmoving, sleeping while they could before changing the watch.

Haldir suddenly found his eyes resting upon Belegwen. She was sleeping back to back beside Heledhril, lying on her side with the bodice of her armor unlatched and hanging open awkwardly. The leather straps that normally held it shut were lying askew and blowing in the breeze. Her head was resting on her cape, which she had balled up to create a pillow beneath her head, as most of the other soldiers were. The three-quarter moon was glowing brightly upon her during this cloudless night, reflecting upon her silvery hair in the same way it always had in Caras Galadhon. As he studied that silver hair intently, Haldir watched as strands of it blew onto Heledhril's face, making his nose twitch a couple of times in annoyance.

Inwardly, he was glad that she looked at peace and seemed to be comfortable enough. He was also grateful that she appeared to be a safe distance away from Erthalion. Haldir had been monitoring their situation closely for the last few days and was relieved that he seemed to be keeping his distance. He was also glad Belegwen was sleeping close to several trustworthy elves because that alone would prevent potential problems from arising.

As Haldir continued to look at Belegwen more closely though, he frowned as he noticed how her arms were reaching out to her side, as if wanting to be held by him. The space by her arms was empty though, with another elf laying a few paces away from where her curved fingers rested.

Haldir could not help but wish he was resting in those toned arms. Closing his eyes briefly, he drew up the mental picture he had tried to memorize before he left of her lying naked and warm beside him with her soft breath lingering against his skin and her unhampered silvery hair blowing across his body.

Feeling frustrated, Haldir opened his eyes again and retrained them on the horizon, scanning for potential threats once more. There was something about the night that brought this out of him. All day he had been able to concentrate on what he was doing, but there were tasks to focus his energies on during the day. He was navigating for the group and scouting for signs of danger constantly. At night though, especially with so many others sharing the duty of guarding the group, Haldir sometimes allowed his thoughts to drift to her. Under the cover of darkness and the guise of watching, he had found that he could stare at her for brief periods with little fear of consequence.

Tonight of all nights, Haldir found himself wishing that he had indeed pledged his love to her while they were still in the city. Not having an active commitment with her was starting to take a toll on him.

He had been watching when Rumil had called her into the tall reeds and had patiently waited until he saw her emerge with plaited hair that only could have been done by his younger brother. Haldir had long known that Rumil had a way with hair, as he had learned how to do delicate and fancy braiding from one of Galadriel's ladies in waiting while courting her for several years. Their relationship had not withstood the test of time, but Rumil's skills had and he had bragged to many ellyth about how good he was at doing hair. It was a skill he used as an excuse to touch and flirt with them repeatedly over the years.

When Haldir had first seen Belegwen go into the reeds with Rumil, jealousy had once again reared its ugly head within him. By exuding extreme concentration though, Haldir had found he could examine Belegwen's thoughts through his bond with her and had relaxed when he found her feeling only gratitude, which was followed with a slight twinge of annoyance towards Rumil. These were not feelings of love or affection and thus, Haldir found that he was able to control himself and allow the interaction to occur without interference.

However, he did not know how to feel when Belegwen had emerged from the reeds with that particular hairdo. Rumil had changed her appearance greatly and made her look very beautiful for a soldier. Haldir had initially admired how her hair had looked, but found he very much disliked the attention it had garnered from several of the other soldiers. Belegwen may not have realized it, but she had turned some heads tonight, particularly the ones from Imladris who did not know her well.

There was his envy again, creeping up on him more and more. Haldir knew he was being irrational and that Belegwen could not escape male attentions on a trip like this, but it still bothered him. He loved her and he did not want to share her with anyone else, whether it be his own brother or that crowd of Imladris elves.

Haldir sighed audibly in frustration over his thoughts of her. This was already proving to be a long and miserable trip for him.

ooOoo

A rough shake, which Belegwen was now accustomed to, abruptly woke her up from her reverie. When her eyes snapped into focus, she saw that she was staring directly into Haldir's face. He was leaning over her with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Belegwen took a slow minute to study him, seeing that he appeared to be well enough, if not perhaps tired and ready to take his own brief rest before they continued marching again. For his part, Haldir did not move, lingering perhaps a little too close to her for comfort, although he was much further away from her than what she was used to.

Not paying attention as she flipped onto her back to sit up, Belegwen gasped as she felt a shock of power surge through her as she accidentally set her hand upon Haldir's hand. Automatically, her hand clamped down before she realized what was happening. Haldir looked very surprised by this too, glancing from their touching hands to her face with wide eyes.

The power of the bond between them had grown greater since the last time they touched in Caras Galadhon. Neither of them seemed to understand what was happening between the two of them, but whatever it was, it was clearly stronger than before. Shivering a little beneath his fierce gaze, Belegwen forced herself to remove her hand from his as she sat up slowly.

His eyes pierced her own and in them she saw a glimpse of his feelings from before. Admiration and caring glimmered from within his blue orbs before they looked down and rested on her lips appreciatively. Her inhaled breath caught in her throat as she thought he might kiss her for a brief moment, but then, just as suddenly as it started, he pulled his eyes away from her and the moment was over.

"It's your turn to watch." He murmured softly, now refusing to meet her eyes as she stood up and stretched slowly. Belegwen found herself feeling rather sad at seeing this guarded side of him. It had been clear a moment ago that they both missed each other desperately and wanted the illegal kiss, which had nearly come to pass between them. This surprised Belegwen because being parted was apparently a problem for him too, though it had not seemed obvious to her before this moment.

"Indeed." She said dejectedly, watching as Haldir stretched himself out to sleep in the spot that she had just left. "I will wake you at dawn."

Trying not to linger on her regretful thoughts about their near-kiss, Belegwen slowly started to walk to the edge of the camp, taking a moment to latch herself into her armored bodice again. What poor luck she had—during the middle of their first day marching, Belegwen had discovered that her armor was no longer fitting properly around the middle. Feeling frustrated with Haldir and all of the excessive exercises he had her do over the past few months, she found that since she had apparently gained more muscle, she would now have to bear the burden of uncomfortable, ill-fitting armor for the remainder of the trip.

If only she had caught it before she had left Caras Galadhon…

Cursing under her breath, she sucked in her middle as best she could before latching the second side of the armor and resigned herself to being uncomfortable until they were next allowed to stop and rest.

Quickly, she found an empty spot in the circle around the camp to keep watch in during the remainder of the night. After scanning the scene around her, she saw that everything was safe and quiet and watched as the remainder of the soldiers finished their shift change, allowing those who had first watch to take their rest.

As she scanned the horizon again, she found her eyes meeting a familiar face. It was Rumil that she was standing next to and he looked very displeased. His intense stare blazed into her eyes for several moments, daring her once again to admit her sins to him.

Did he not know that what he asked for was dangerous though? Neither Belegwen or Haldir could risk losing the respect of their subordinate soldiers. Who would lead the soldiers to Helm's Deep if they were both disgraced over this? No, it was too risky, for even if Rumil was trustworthy enough to deal with the situation discreetly, voicing it aloud would risk the ears of others finding out their secret. That would only serve to cause trouble.

Belegwen smiled sadly at Rumil, unable to grant his request. Visibly, he showed a rather sizeable amount of frustration upon his face before turning away with his arms crossed protectively over his chest.

Rumil did not understand what he asked for though. Belegwen could only hope that her secret would not destroy the one friendship she valued above all others.


	37. The Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 37: The Forest

_Haldir's eyes opened. There he was, laying on his back on the talan floor once more beneath the mellyrn leaves. Each leaf reflected a splendid golden hue and they were sparkling above his head in several clusters. He was nearly blinded by the light that was shining from them and could barely make out his location or what was happening around him._

_He was trapped, frozen in place on the talan floor. He did not have a single appendage that would move upon his command. Panic filled Haldir's heart as he tried to pull his arms and legs away from the talan floor. Though he could not see who it was, he knew who was coming. He would have to wait though—he always had to wait before the elf arrived._

_After a short while, it happened just as he remembered. The light vibration of footsteps could be felt through the talan floor, growing a bit stronger with every passing second. A shadow slid across the floor until it covered his face, blocking the brilliance of the light surrounding him._

_Orophin was back again, looking precisely as he remembered him physically. His brother was not his normal self in spirit though. Gone were his soft, easy-going features. No, today his face told a story of malevolence as he grasped Haldir's arm tightly, his fingernails painfully digging into the flesh of his arm._

_Haldir could not move or escape from his grasp. The invisible bonds held him tightly and he could not free himself. Momentarily, he panicked as he felt his body start to lift off the ground limply. Orophin was staring intensely at him as he took him into the sky._

_"You are not coming home, Haldir. Your flesh shall rot away and your spirit shall rove the halls, seeking a comfort it will never find!"_

_Internally he screamed, but then stopped as he heard a different voice screaming below him. As he lifted off the talan floor, his head lulled to the side and he caught sight of Belegwen just below him. Her feet were still on the platform, but she was struggling to stay there. He saw that his other hand was clutching her arm, though he could not feel it or move it._

_"Haldir, let me go! You must let me stay here! Please, let me go so I can lead as you trained me! Please, do not take me with you! Let me go! Please!" She screamed, desperately trying to yank her arm out of his grasp with her free hand. Her legs were bent and she was pushing against the talan floor to resist coming along. Her heels were dragging against the wooden floor as he pulled her along with him and Orophin._

_He wanted to let her go so badly, but he could not feel his hand or even move his lips to speak with her. There was nothing left of him and he felt the bitter coldness of death spreading through his body. He fought against these terrible happenings and the failing of his own body, but he still had a grip on Belegwen and he could not seem to release it. Helplessly, he watched her scream and struggle, trying to pull her arm away with a look of great desperation in her blue eyes._

_"Haldir, no! Let me go! NO!" She screamed shrilly as her feet were nearing the edge of the talan floor. She was losing ground fast now. Again, he tried to let her go, but could not. He could see his hand grasping hers tightly below him as he continued to be pulled into the sky. Her struggling was doing no good; she could not escape him._

_Above him, he could hear Orophin laughing manically as they lifted up towards the sky. All the while, Belegwen's voice rang in his ears. "Stop Haldir! Let go! NO!"_

With a gasp, Haldir woke up to find himself lying sprawled across the ground, surrounded by total darkness. Light raindrops were falling on his face. He quickly looked around him and saw the outlines of several elves in the darkness. Many were sleeping, while a few were quickly repositioning their capes to acquire respite from the elements.

However, this was the least of Haldir's worries. All he could think about was his reoccurring dream about Orophin carrying him away helplessly. Haldir had dreamed the same dream night after night for weeks now.

Slowly, the dream had begun to morph though. He had caught glimpses of a third elf on the talan floor for the last week, but had been unable to identify who it was. Now he knew and was frightened about the realism of the dream.

Indeed, he could very well die and drag Belegwen into an untimely death with him. They seemed to have bonded with one another and the connection between them was strengthening over time.

Was this not what happened between married couples? Haldir had not married Belegwen, but the bond seemed to have appeared anyway. He was connected to her and she to him; that which connected them seemed to be impenetrable.

Haldir shook his head as he thought about all that had occurred between them over the last year. The knowledge of their closeness made him panic and he could not seem to slow down his rapidly beating heart as he thought about the potentially dire consequences of their love.

Internally, Haldir admonished himself for falling in love with her. Instead of bringing Belegwen love and fulfillment, all he would bring was her was her own demise. Was there a way to fix this? Could he take away his love after all that had passed between them? Was there still a way to save her from this fate somehow?

He desperately wished he could, but he knew it was impossible. How in the name of the Valar could he possibly stop loving her now, after all they had been through together?

_"And thus, I will be the death of her."_ He thought to himself morbidly. Sitting up, Haldir covered his entire body with his cape and spent the remainder of the night mourning the inevitable twist of fate that had barged into his life.

ooOoo

Rumil cringed as he watched Belegwen thrust her sword towards Heledhril, who barely escaped the jab as Belegwen's sword put a scratch into the side of his armor. What had started out as a friendly sword lesson had morphed into sparring and it was obvious to the small crowd that had congregated around the elves that Belegwen had the upper hand.

As the weeks passed by, more of these battles had started to occur before the soldiers slept. There were many elves who were eager to find something amusing to pass the time other than walking, watching, and sleeping. Naturally, the more talented of the soldiers tended to attract crowds, who in turn enjoyed placing wagers on possible winners for fun. Aside from those who had taken the advanced swordsmanship class, many elves had bet upon Heledhril's victory and were sulking on the sidelines as they watched Belegwen command the duel expertly. She was clearly in control of every motion and was keeping Heledhril on his toes with her speed, agility, and accuracy.

From behind the crowd, Rumil admired the braids in Belegwen's silvery hair that he had expertly plaited a couple weeks ago. They still looked fresh and had held up to the weather quite nicely. Most fortunately for Rumil though, they had served more than just his spoken purpose of helping his dearest friend.

They had also created a distraction for his brother Haldir.

Before calling Belegwen over to the reeds that day, Rumil had spent the day's march pondering a way he could get Haldir to reveal his true feelings for Belegwen discreetly so he could gage the intensity of their feelings for one another. He desperately needed to know if his brother truly loved his friend Belegwen or if there was merely some sort of dalliance or agreement going on between them. He knew something had happened between the two of them after what he had walked into on the last evening in Lothlorien. Now Rumil sought answers so he might know what precisely was shared between the two of them.

Rumil already knew that Haldir would not talk to him about Belegwen, as he already would have shared with him if he had intended to. Belegwen herself had also refused to talk to him about it by ignoring his questioning for the last two weeks.

Thus, Haldir was his best bet for getting information at this point. Rumil knew he would have to draw it out of his brother with actions though, as there was no way he would talk about it. He figured an unexpected change might be the best way to draw out his brother's true feelings for Belegwen and indeed, it had worked very well.

Belegwen had always been well known in Lothlorien for her abysmal braids, which had resulted in a lack of attraction between her and the wardens she spent all her time around. When Belegwen had received male attention, it was never for her looks. Her hair was always atrocious.

Rumil had long known the truth about her looks though and a simple of fix of her locks into something more agreeable had changed the dynamic between Belegwen and several of the soldiers. For the last couple weeks, she had turned many a head and it had obviously struck a nerve with Haldir. His brother, who appeared to be very indifferent about Belegwen's presence during the beginning of the trip, was growing rather agitated and snippy as of late. He had given startling dark glares to several of the Imladris elves who had been looking at Belegwen rather appreciatively during the last couple of weeks. Upon receiving said glares, they had all immediately backed down, turning from their lustful thoughts and focusing on their watches more attentively than ever before under the watchful eyes of the marchwarden.

Of course, Rumil found this absolutely hilarious, but also quite telling. Had Haldir merely been seeking comfort in the arms of another, surely those gazes would not have bothered him so much, now would they?

No, it had become apparent that Haldir, at the very least, felt protective of Belegwen and, at the very most, felt jealous that she would attract the attentions of other ellyn. Rumil suspected it was the latter rather than the former. After all, Belegwen had chosen to lie to him about it through omission. Ever since he had befriended Belegwen, she had been honest with him; that is, until this little matter had come to light.

Indeed, something was there, but what?

Long had his brother been alone. Rumil could not even remember a time in which Haldir had pursued an elleth and at this point, he was well past the prime of his life for doing so. Most elves who desired to be married did so within the first 300 years of their lives. Haldir was well over 3,000 years old now and had not shown any signs of desiring to be with an elleth that Rumil could recall.

Rumil frowned as he thought about it. Perhaps he did not know his brother quite as well as he thought. He could not help but wonder about how many other secrets had Haldir kept from him over the years. Indeed, Haldir was now an enigma to him.

As Rumil pondered his new conundrum, a set of green eyes caught his attention in the distance. From the side of the dining wagon, where a smiling Esgalamon was serving the last few soldiers their nightly lembas bread ration, stood a dark-haired figure watching the sparring match. It was Erthalion.

His eyes were carefully observing the swordplay between Belegwen and Heledhril. Though his eyes did not appear to be angry as they had been when he attacked Belegwen, Rumil found himself feeling rather uncomfortable with how intently he stared at Belegwen as she vigorously challenged Heledhril with her sword, Nimrodel.

Rumil did not know if he should expect inappropriate behavior from Erthalion or not. He was not doing anything wrong, but there was just something about his stare that made Rumil worry about the well being of his friend. He knew he would feel terrible if something bad happened to Belegwen. Rumil was uncertain if he could forgive himself if he was to ever watch preventable harm come to her again.

Therefore, when Belegwen had taken Heledhril to the ground and he cried out for mercy, Rumil quickly made his way over to Belegwen. He pushed through many upset elves, who had lost their bets, in an attempt to get there quickly. He waited patiently beside her until she was done talking with Heledhril and had finished showing him a few maneuvers with his own sword. Then, he approached her to speak.

Belegwen assessed him coolly when her eyes first gazed upon him. This was understandable, for he had been silently harassing her with judgmental looks for the past two weeks, even though she had made it abundantly clear that she would not talk to him about Haldir. As frustrating as that was, he knew he needed to set things right now so he could get close enough to Belegwen to ensure her safety. Rumil feared Haldir had been right and that danger for Belegwen loomed much more closely than she realized.

"Let us walk meldir." He said quickly, grabbing her arm and walking her towards a spot away from most of the soldiers before she had a chance to object. Walking to the edge of the forest the group had started to circle around a few days prior, Rumil stopped and turned to face Belegwen. "I am sorry, Belegwen. You are welcome to your secrets, if you do indeed have them. I merely hope that you can confide in me if you do need someone with whom to share. I want you to find me trustworthy."

Belegwen looked him in the eyes very carefully before answering. "Very well then. All is forgiven, so long as you choose to move on from this subject."

"Good. I have missed you and this is a poor time to be lacking in friends." Rumil said genuinely, as her company had been dearly missed over the last two weeks. He had not realized how important Belegwen had become to him until he found himself lacking her company as of late.

She was his best friend. He wondered if she felt the same way about him.

"Perhaps it is time for me to do your hair then. From what I can tell, a good hairdo seems to be enough to win many new friends over to you in this crowd." Belegwen said with mild sarcasm, giving him a judgmental stare of her own.

Ah, so she had noticed the shift of the soldiers' attentions then.

Unwilling to let this topic go without comment, Rumil replied, "I am uncertain that this crowd would give the same attentions to an ellon, my dearest Belegwen. From the conversations I have been overhearing, many of the ellyn here are growing to have a singular focus as the days go by."

"Oh, yes?" Belegwen questioned, her eyebrows rising up as if she knew he was about to say something inappropriate.

She was right.

"I assure you, they could care less about me. After all, I do not have any… curves." He said as his hands playfully traced a feminine figure in front of him. He then chuckled as Belegwen swatted his arm spiritedly and chastised him for being inappropriate. Minutes later, Rumil and Belegwen were laughing and conversing as if the last two weeks of silent arguing had never happened.

After an hour of shooting the breeze together, the two settled down next to one another to get a few hours of sleep before the changing of the watch. Once Rumil felt confident Belegwen was sleeping, he reached out and grabbed her hand in his own so that he would know if anything or anyone happened to disrupt her during the night.

He would not risk the possibility of Erthalion doing anything to her. Belegwen was much too dear to him and therefore, he would protect her at every opportunity he could.

ooOoo

Disgusting. How dare he!

Haldir sneered at the sight of his brother holding Belegwen's hand as they slept next to one another. Anger and envy had boiled up within him quickly when he had spotted it as he watched over the darkened camp. How dare his brother touch her lovingly when he was unable to! How dare Rumil say he did not have feelings for Belegwen and then do this for all the soldiers in the camp to observe!

Realizing that he was literally seething with anger, Haldir forced himself to look away from the two of them and trained his eyes back onto the grassy fields in the distance, which he knew he should have been watching more closely than he was. He focused on taking slow breaths of the cold midnight air to try and calm his ire.

_"Perhaps I am being unreasonable,"_ He thought to himself, trying to challenge his initial assessment of what was happening. _"Perhaps it is nothing."_

It did not feel like nothing to Haldir though. He loved Belegwen and the occurrences of the past two weeks had tainted his mind with jealously. He could not seem to rid himself of the thought that some other soldier might desire her as he did. The stares she had gotten recently were driving him to utter madness and he had caught himself becoming dangerously close to losing control a few times because of it.

Haldir knew he could not give away their secret, but keeping it was starting to seem impossible too. How could he just stand by and watch as other elves lusted after Belegwen, the elleth he desired to marry? And for goodness sake, how could he stand here for half the night and watch his brother hold her hand?!

Unable to take it any longer, Haldir started to initiate the shift change a bit earlier than normal, storming towards Belegwen quickly to disengage her hand from his brother's grip. He quickly ripped her hand out of Rumil's, then immediately started to shake her awake. The look on Belegwen's face as her eyes came out of reverie suggested that perhaps he had been too rough, but Haldir did not care. He desperately needed the scene to end so he could calm down and find a few hours of solace.

Haldir then turned to Rumil, who was now awake and sitting up as well. He glared at him in such a way that his brother cringed, then got up quickly, knowing Haldir's wrath all too well from the years of their youth. Satisfied that Rumil knew of his displeasure with the situation, Haldir laid down on the ground where Belegwen had slept and tried his best to make himself comfortable for the night. A few hours passed though before he was able to fall into a fitful sleep.

ooOoo

Belegwen watched as Haldir rolled over on the ground once again, visibly angered and unable to sleep. She could feel waves of jealousy rolling off him through their bond. There was nothing she wanted more than to go and comfort him with reassuring words and touches, but that was out of the question. Instead, she felt a great sadness wash over her as sleep continued to elude him for hours on end.

How Rumil's hand had ended up in her own, Belegwen did not know. However, one look into Haldir's eyes had told her how much it upset him. Haldir had already worried about Belegwen loving Rumil instead of him when they were in Caras Galadhon, so this had been a most unwelcome discovery for him.

Belegwen was frustrated that the situation had happened and desperately wanted to make things right between her and Haldir. Their last argument had resulted in both of them fading and that could not be risked during their current journey. Even more important though was Haldir's good opinion of her. Belegwen did not want him to think she was fickle with her affections. She understood Haldir valued loyalty and she wished to give it to him completely.

Glancing around the camp, Belegwen saw that Rumil had positioned himself all the way on the other side of the camp, though she noticed that he seemed to be watching her rather carefully. Why had his hand ended up in hers? Was it possible Haldir was right and Rumil truly desired her as a lover?

It did not seem possible though, as Rumil had never made any advances towards her. He did not stare at her with loving eyes, but instead with curious ones. She knew Rumil was still trying to figure out what had happened between her and Haldir though, which explained his perplexity. Rumil had always treated Belegwen with respect and kindness, but that had always been as far as his affections for her went.

Confused and still feeling frustrated that she could not comfort Haldir in his time of need, Belegwen turned and stared into the distance. She was watching the quiet grasslands for any signs of trouble. Another hour passed dully as Belegwen watchfully studied the tall grasses for any strange movements. She was growing weary of the night watch, but knew daybreak would be arriving soon.

As she watched carefully for the first signs of sunrise, she caught a flash of something odd in her eye. Belegwen ignored it at first, but then found a faded vision of sorts playing out before her tired eyes.

_"You are not coming home, Haldir. Your flesh shall rot away and your spirit shall rove the halls, seeking a comfort it will never find!"_ Shouted a familiar voice distantly. Belegwen looked around briefly for a shouting elf, but did not see anyone but the other watchers. Most of them appeared to awake and vigilant and all of them were silent. Suddenly, there was more shouting, but this time it sounded as if she was listening to her own voice begging and pleading.

_"Haldir, let me go! You must let me stay here! Please, let me go so I can lead as you trained me! Please, do not take me with you! Let me go! Please!"_

Belegwen saw another flash in front of her eyes and caught sight of Haldir being pulled off a talan in Lothlorien. She was there too, being dragged by him while she struggled violently to get away. He looked panicked and was unmoving, aside from the grip he seemed to have on her wrist. Someone floated above them too, mysteriously carrying them away into the sky.

Orophin! It was Haldir's brother, Orophin!

This was Haldir's dream! Indeed, not only could Belegwen see the grasslands in front of her, but she could also simultaneously watch the dream unfolding in Haldir's mind. She watched as Orophin laughed at them maliciously and tried to pull them both off the talan deck. Haldir was limp and staring at her with a frightened look on his face. His grip on her did not falter and she watched as she too was carried off the ground.

_"Haldir, no! Let me go! NO!"_ She heard herself scream out as she slung her body around, trying to escape from his grasp. Suddenly, the mellryn trees below them disappeared and faded into a vision of dark, rolling waves.

_"Stop Haldir! Let go! NO!"_

Then Belegwen gasped as it all suddenly disappeared. She was now fully back to watching the grasslands as the first light of day started to lighten the deep blue horizon. Noticing she was breathing heavily, Belegwen looked at the ground as she felt anxiety deep within her chest over what she had witnessed. Then, she quickly turned around and saw Haldir sitting up, staring at her.

Had he known she was there? Did he know she had seen his dream?

He was breathing heavily too as he stared at her. Immediately, she heard his thoughts about how the dream meant he would die and pull her along into death with him. Belegwen drew in a shaky breath as she took in this new information.

Haldir could not go on this way. She would take it upon herself to set him straight before they began to travel today.

With a nudge of her head, Belegwen motioned for Haldir to follow her into the forest while she started walking there herself. They would not have much time and would have to guard their words, but perhaps she could say something to fix these horrible dreams of his. Belegwen did not want Haldir to continue suffering night after night.

Behind her, she could sense him following her from a distance as she entered the dark green tree line at the forest's edge. Quickly, she used a whistle signal to command the wardens in the trees around them to rejoin the camp and start packing up. It was nearly daybreak now and they would soon start marching, so having them leave a few minutes early would not be a problem.

Belegwen walked deeper into the shadowy forest, pushing violently through the thickening weeds and shrubs, hoping to put a great distance between herself and the soldiers. The further out, the better. She did not want to be caught speaking candidly with Haldir.

When it finally seemed that she had distanced herself enough from all prying eyes and ears, Belegwen stopped and waited for Haldir to catch up to her. A couple minutes later he was there, staring at her with exasperation as he pushed down the last of leafy plants between them. "Belegwen, this is not a situation we should be putting-"

"Haldir, what was that?" Belegwen asked intensely, cutting him off abruptly as she took a step towards him. "What did I just see in your mind?"

Shock was evident on Haldir's face and Belegwen concluded that perhaps he had not known she had witnessed his dream. Her unintentional invasion of his privacy had understandably disturbed him. Belegwen would not be swayed though; this issue needed to be resolved so they could move on with their travels unhindered by personal issues.

"Well, what was it?" She hissed, growing upset with his lack of answers. Surely he at least owed her an explanation!

"It was a dream, Belegwen. Nothing more." He stated in a low voice that told her exactly how unsettled he was with her inquiry. Haldir shook his head in frustration as he answered her, no longer meeting her eyes.

"That is not what your thoughts tell me. I can hear them, Haldir. I can hear what you are thinking and I know you fear your own death awaits you at Helm's Deep. I now suspect you also fear for mine as well. Is this an accurate assessment?" Belegwen asked, boldly pushing him farther than she had ever dared to before. She knew this was a dangerous game with Haldir, especially when his walls had been up for weeks. It was a risk worth taking though if it might help.

Still, Haldir did not look her in the eye, instead opting to stare off into the darkness of the forest before once again eyeing the ground. His arms were crossed in such a way that showed his discomfort surrounding the situation. "Belegwen, whatever it is that is shared between us… it grows. The closer you are to me, the more likely it is that you will be dragged with me… into death." He said softly, finishing with a haunted look in his eyes.

"I will be your downfall." He whispered after a few moments of silence lingered between them. "I wish I could undo this somehow."

Belegwen was stunned that his walls had come down and that he had shared this with her. She immediately retorted, "Do you not think I am stronger than that?"

Finally, Haldir looked up and met her eyes as she continued. "Haldir, I do not believe you will fall in this battle. You are more skilled in warfare and prepared for battle than any other elf I know. However, if you did, I assure you that I would not waste away like some wilted flower in the heat of day. I would fight on valiantly, fulfilling my duty as is expected. Do not spend your days worrying about me-"

"You speak as though none of the wardens' wives had any strength to them at all! Just because they are not like you does not mean they were not brave, strong, and courageous! Many of them were all of those things, yet we have seen it happen time and time again where a warden dies and takes his wife along with him to Mandos-"

"That is not what I meant, Haldir. I know they have strength, but I also know that I have endured many battles myself at this point and would not give in so easily with the responsibility of the soldiers resting upon my shoulders." Belegwen cut in before adding, "Plus, we are not married. You need not worry about that."

Haldir immediately responded, "Our bond seems to be mimicking that of a married couple though. I fear I may yet drag you kicking and screaming to Mandos-"

"No more," Belegwen said, putting a few firm fingers over his lips. "Listen to me. You are not going to die in this battle, Haldir of Lorien. I will hear no more talk of this nature and you will now pull yourself together for the sake of the soldiers. You must focus for us all to stay safe on this journey."

"How can I focus when half of the camp is watching you like a hungry pack of dogs eyeing a piece of meat!" He exploded, pushing her fingers off of his mouth roughly as he transitioned from sadness to anger abruptly. "And for goodness sakes, why was Rumil holding your hand last night?!"

"Haldir, you are jealous." Belegwen stated, now becoming mildly annoyed with the turn the conversation had taken. "You have no reason to be though. I only have eyes for one elf and that elf is you. I do not know why Rumil was holding my hand, but I do know he is unaware of how often he touches the elves around him. He is constantly patting and hugging the other wardens and he never seems to be aware that it sometimes upsets them. I suspect this is why it happened and I will speak to him about it later. I do not want you to get the wrong idea though. Haldir, I will never think of Rumil in that way. He is my friend and nothing more. Do you understand?"

Belegwen looked at him with intense eyes, waiting for some sort of response from him. He gave none though. Sighing, Belegwen took a risk and quickly grabbed his face with both of her hands, pulled him towards her, and kissed him soundly on the lips. As she slowly savored the feeling of his mouth upon hers, Belegwen noticed the power of the bond could be felt flowing through their lips with vibrancy as she poured her heart and soul into this one act of comfort towards him.

When she finally released his lips, she held his face a moment longer, making eye contact with him as the first tendrils of daylight passed through the green leaves and cast shadows onto his face. She breathlessly whispered, "You are the only elf for me, Haldir."

A throat clearing near them made Belegwen's heart skip a beat. Immediately, Belegwen let go of Haldir and turned around to see three Galadhrim elves staring at them. Their reactions ranged from confusion to anger.

"Ahem, Haldir and Belegwen… This seems highly inappropriate." Said the middle one, who was named Eregdol. Of all the elves who could have caught them, Eregdol was the worse possible outcome, as he was a member of the city council in Caras Galadhon and was well-versed in all manner of city codes of conduct, including the warden's code.

He knew precisely what rule had been broken. Haldir and Belegwen were both in trouble now. An uncomfortable weight settled upon Belegwen's chest as she realized that she had ruined everything for both of them with that treacherous kiss.

"I am absolutely appalled by what I have seen here. Most luckily, I have witnesses to this extremely detrimental situation." Eregdol said, indicating the two other elves with his hand. "Our Lothlorien laws state that in the absence of the lord and lady, the city council may preside over broken city codes and ordinances. Come, we will convene an emergency council meeting right away to make a judgment on this matter."

Eregdol led the way back to the camp with his friends traveling beside him. Both Belegwen and Haldir followed them in silence through the forest, looking at each other repeatedly with anxiety-laden eyes as they made their way back to the camp in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The secret is out! Let the drama begin!


	38. The Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Queen_Lightwood and Fatemeh68 for the comments and thanks to all of my readers who keep coming back for more of Haldir and Belegwen's story! Enjoy Chapter 38!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 38: The Sacrifice

There wasn't enough time; everything was happening quickly. Belegwen found she did not know what to do as she pushed through the thick foliage to follow Eregdol and his witnesses out of the forest. Inwardly, she was panicking because she had caused this. She had no idea what was about to happen and could not help but assume the worst.

Belegwen feared she was about to lose the one thing that gave her purpose during her immortal life: being a warden. It was the only thing she had ever truly aspired to in life. Without it, she would have no path or purpose. She would have nothing.

She would _be_ nothing.

One moment of weakness was all it had taken to throw away 3,000 years of service to fair Lothlorien. All Belegwen had wanted to do was comfort Haldir and get him back into the mindset of leadership, but she had let her guard down and it had been a terrible mistake. Now she had unknowingly condemned Haldir to an undesirable fate as well. The guilt and remorse she felt because of this was nearly unbearable.

Suddenly, a whisper was heard in the back of her mind. _"Belegwen."_

No one around her was looking at her or speaking to her though. Belegwen shook her head as she tried to concentrate on her footing. This particular forest was not easily trodden through and she had to watch her steps carefully, lest she trip and fall into the overgrowth.

_"_ _Belegwen, can you hear me?"_ The voice asked, a little louder this time. Belegwen was unfortunately no stranger to hearing strange voices in her head at this point, as she had been privy to the Lady Galadriel's callings and of course, the mysterious male voice she had heard in her head while in Caras Galadhon. However, this voice was neither of those. This voice almost sounded like…

Belegwen's head turned to see Haldir staring at her as he pushed a few low hanging branches out of the way so he could pass underneath a young tree. He looked at her questioningly and Belegwen immediately knew who was speaking to her.

_"_ _Haldir, how is this possible?"_ She tried to ask within her mind, wondering whether or not he would hear her question.

_"_ _I suspected this might work because of how the bond has been growing. If we can hear the other's thoughts and see the other's dreams, it seemed possible that we might have the ability to speak with one another too. In fact, if you concentrate, you will be able to see me in your mind as I see you."_ He said rather cryptically.

Belegwen was uncertain of what Haldir meant when he said 'see me in your mind as I see you.' Stopping to close her eyes for a moment, Belegwen concentrated on him alone with a deep focus. Low and behold, a picture of him standing with his strong arms crossed appeared in front of her within the darkness of her mind's eye. She stood in front of him within her own mind, her body language strong and prideful, despite the uncertainty she felt within. They looked at one another in silence and nothing audible passed between them other than their soft breaths for a long time.

The experience was very similar to when Belegwen had seen Haldir's dream the previous night. How odd it was to be aware of two realities at once, both the one where she was physically pushing through the forest greenery, as well as the one where she and Haldir stared at each other within the safety of their connected minds. His inscrutable eyes were acutely digging into her and analyzing her during their shared silence. Belegwen quickly felt more and more exposed in front of his gaze. How very small she felt now that she had ruined their status as marchwardens.

Suddenly, she looked away from his gaze and stared at the ground in shame. _"Haldir, I… I do not know what to say. I am so very sorry."_

Immediately, his arms were around her and their armor clanked together loudly as he held her tightly against his body. Even though it was only in her mind, his comforting grip felt surprisingly real and Belegwen had to exercise every last bit of self-control she had to resist crying in front of him right then and there. One of his hands stroked the back of her hair gently while the other held her firmly in place against his body, as if he had no intention of ever letting her go.

_"_ _It was an accident, Belegwen. Neither of us realized they were there until it was too late. Do not fret; we will deal with this together."_ He whispered reassuringly in her ear. _"I will tell the council the truth of what is shared between us. I am a member of the council too, so they will most assuredly hear me out. Surely they will understand or at least allow us to continue on until the lord and lady can make a sound judgment call on the issue."_

_"_ _I am not so sure of this,"_ Belegwen whispered, her lips dragging slightly against the cool metal of his breastplate as she spoke. _"Eregdol has long held the opinion that I should not be allowed to be a warden. I fear this is his way of trying to eject me from my position."_

Belegwen had long ignored Eregdol and his off-putting comments towards her. He had argued against her position with a bunch of other elves when she had passed the warden's exams and when she was about to be instated as a warden for the first time. Her placement had been very controversial back then, as there had never been a warden who was an elleth before in Lothlorien, but Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel had spoken up on her behalf, which had solidified her initial position with the wardens.

Still, Eregdol had always been negative towards her, despising her for being different and constantly watching her, hoping she would mess something up so he would have a reason to try and get her discharged from her warden status. He had not been the only one either. There had been many elves, some not even wardens themselves, who were watching her for millennia and hoping to witness her make a mistake such as this.

In the past, Belegwen had always been terribly aware of this and had always thought over her actions carefully before doing anything. However, these last few months had led her into a lax way of thinking, as it had appeared that many of the wardens trusted her now. She had grown comfortable, but in the one moment where she had dared to step a toe out of line, Eregdol had been there waiting for her like a wolf in sheep's clothes. Now he had the ammunition he needed to get his way.

He could truly take away her livelihood now. Belegwen shuddered at the thought.

_"_ _Do not worry about Eregdol. Though he is often unreasonable, I doubt the others will react in a similar fashion."_ Haldir replied, though his voice did not seem to be as confident as his words implied. This did not console Belegwen in the slightest, as she had no idea who was on the council, having never paid much attention to such things while she was in the city.

_"_ _Who else from the council is present with us now?"_ Belegwen asked, wondering if there were others she could count on to help defend her or ones she needed to be wary of. Perhaps there were still many wardens who wanted her out.

What if there was no one she could count on after all?

_"_ _Bragolith, Eregdol, and myself are the three warden representatives. Valtaur, one of the blacksmith representatives, is also a warden and is presently with us. There is also Linedhel representing the healers and Esgalamon representing service, of course."_ Haldir answered after thinking for a moment, all while taking a step back from her in his mind's eye to look over her expressions carefully as he spoke with her.

_"_ _Bragolith can be counted on to take sides with me. I am uncertain of everyone else's position on this matter though. I will do what I can to convince them that our plight is not hurting anyone or preventing either of us from leading well."_ He said to her calmly.

Belegwen knew that Bragolith had grown up with Haldir, as she had heard him regale small groups of wardens with stories from their youth during dull nights on the borders when all was calm. The two wardens were friends of old and were often of a likened mind on a variety of issues and strategies. It felt a little good to know there was at least one elf who could be counted on to defend them, but Belegwen feared what the others would say.

_"_ _Haldir, what if they do not listen? What if they disgrace us both? What will happen to the soldiers then?"_ Belegwen asked, looking into his eyes and feeling rather helpless under his intense stare.

Belegwen could not help but wonder what would happen if the council found them both guilty of breaking the warden's code. It could mean a dishonorable discharge for them both, which in turn would leave the soldiers without any leaders.

That would never do, not with so many lives at stake. The skill of a leader would either make or break an entire military brigade. Haldir had thousands of years of experience with such things and was the only ideal choice for leading the soldiers at this point. No one else present in the group shared his skill set. The soldiers needed him as a means of survival and, in this instance, no one else would do.

_"_ _I do not know Belegwen."_ Haldir replied, looking down with anxiety painted on his face. He took her hands in his own and squeezed them tightly. _"We can only do our best to try and prevent that from happening with the arguments we make."_

Something had to be done though to prevent them both from being discharged. What could be done to stop it though? Most of the council representatives could not be counted on to take Haldir's side and if he told them about their relationship, as he said he would, they would both be condemned.

Was there not a way to have just one of them take the blame? After all, it had been Belegwen who had caused this mess in the first place with her moment of weakness. She deserved the punishment because she had caused them to get caught. Perhaps she could take the blame herself and at least save Haldir's position. This, in turn, would save the soldiers as well. They needed him, not Belegwen, to lead the group expertly.

Belegwen knew what she must do. A lie would do precisely what she needed in this instance. Indeed, she would save Haldir's honor in the only way she knew how.

ooOoo

Haldir watched as the five present council members gathered behind the medical cart, thankfully away from many of the soldiers' prying eyes. Still, Haldir knew they must have suspected something was happening, as the Eldarin army had not started their march at the usual time this morning.

Tendrils of bright sunlight were now flaring up over the plains and shining on the assembly of city council members that Eregdol had quickly gathered. The elves were whispering amongst themselves, many wearing looks of confusion, wondering why they had been called together during this trip.

The city council in Caras Galadhon was comprised of three elves from every line of work within the city. For millennia, they had met and discussed city plans, laws, judgments, and helped make other various decisions alongside the lord and lady. While the lord and lady had the final say in everything, the council gave the elves of the city a say in what happened around them and the lord and lady valued their opinions.

The first in line was Linedhel, a tall and very slim, silver-haired elf who had previously been a warden before he had taken up the study of healing. He was a very serious elf who worked hard in all he did. He had been a decent enough warden in his day, but those days were long over for the elf and he was now considered to be one of the best healers in Caras Galadhon. Haldir was very pleased that he had agreed to come along on the journey, as a healer's hand would certainly be a benefit after the battle they were about to face.

Second was Bragolith, one of his own close friends. Bragolith was silver-haired also, but was shorter than Linedhel. He had a mighty presence about him though, much like the great warriors Haldir had grown up admiring alongside him. Haldir had been close friends with Bragolith during their shared youth. While neither elf had much time to spend in one another's company, he knew Bragolith would have his best intentions in mind.

Valtaur stood next to Bragolith and was by far the largest elf of the group. He had golden hair and large, muscular arms that spoke of his numerous years of wielding a hammer to shape steel. Valtaur was a blacksmith who forged swords for the Galadhrim, but was also a warden himself and often came to the borders to fill in for those who had been called back to the city unexpectedly.

To the left of the group was Esgalamon from service, a slightly shorter elf with white-blonde hair. He was the only one amongst the group of soldiers who had not been trained as a warden at some point in his life and looked especially lithe when surrounded by the strong, capable soldiers. Esgalamon's normally cheerful and friendly face seemed to be filled with tension at this emergency convening. He did not look like his usual self today.

The farthest over was Eregdol, still standing side by side with his two witnesses. Eregdol had slightly darker blonde hair than all of the other elves present and wore a face of determination as he stared at Belegwen with disdain. It was obvious what he was trying to do, as Haldir imagined most of the soldiers would have turned a blind eye to something as harmless as a kiss.

Eregdol had been both a great ally to Haldir during the council meetings, as well as a terrible thorn in his side. Eregdol fought hard for the things he believed in, which made him rather helpful when they worked together, but also an inconvenience when they did not see eye to eye. Haldir had gone head to head with him several times during council meetings and knew that he did not give up on what he wanted very easily.

"Eregdol, we are now late for our daily marches. Please tell us why we have been brought here so we can move on with our day." Valtaur said impatiently, clearly upset that the morning had not progressed in its usual way.

Eregdol cleared his throat a bit before beginning to speak. "The warden's code has been broken this morning by Haldir and Belegwen, our two marchwardens, both of whom should be upholding the code to set a proper example for all others. A breach of this nature is highly inappropriate and must be addressed and dealt with immediately." Eregdol said, looking from the council members to Belegwen and Haldir with annoyance. "Linros, tell the council what we witnessed in the woods this morning."

Linros, a relatively young member of the wardens, appeared nervous when all the eyes of the council turned to him for an explanation. "I… I saw Marchwarden Belegwen kissing Marchwarden Haldir in the woods when we returned from relieving ourselves before the morning marches. It… uh… was not a chaste kiss, but one meant for a uhm… a lover. She then told him he was the only elf for her before the two of them saw us." He said unevenly, blushing profusely as he stared at the ground, visibly uncomfortable with what was taking place.

"The warden's code states no relationships or dalliances are to occur between wardens of the opposite gender. This rule was created by Lord Celeborn himself when Belegwen was instated as a warden to prevent this sort of thing from happening between ellyn and ellyth wardens. The rule has been broken though, as there was clearly a dalliance in the forest between the two marchwardens. " Eregdol said, looking smugly at Belegwen, who did not so much as twitch in response to the accusation.

Haldir wished he could wipe the smirk right off Eregdol's determined face. He could feel Belegwen's spirit sinking through their bond and could even feel her heart starting to race as the truth came out. More than anything, Haldir wished he could save her from the mental embarrassment she was drowning in now.

"Is this true, Haldir?" Bragolith asked as his eyebrows rose up, a look of mild astonishment passing over his face.

"Indeed, it is. Kirnen saw it too, did you not?" Eregdol interrupted loudly as he indicated for his second witness to speak. Kirnen said nothing, but was quick to nod, much to Eregdol's satisfaction. "I saw it too and it was just as Linros stated. This blatant disregard for the code is inappropriate, especially coming from our marchwardens."

"Have you really called us all together because of a kiss in the forest?" Valtaur asked, glaring at Eregdol. He appeared to be rather irritated at this discovery. "Can this matter not wait until after our battle? We are wasting time right now that would be better spent on the road to our destination-"

"I want to hear this out," Esgalamon interupted with a strong voice, "If our marchwardens are too distracted with each other to work together effectively, I think we all need to know about it and fix the problem before we arrive at Helm's Deep."

"You are right Esgalamon, we cannot risk being compromised!" Chimed in Eregdol, all too happy to be given a different argument about why the kiss should not have occurred. "Relationships of a romantic nature are a huge distraction and we should not have leaders who are going to be distracted on the battlefield."

"Eregdol, I would like to hear from Haldir now." Bragolith interjected firmly, appearing to be slightly displeased that he had been interrupted earlier. Haldir could tell Bragolith was trying to piece together the real truth of the situation. "Do these young wardens speak truly, Haldir?"

"The story they are telling from the forest is accurate, yes." Haldir replied with a level voice. "We are not compromised in any way though. Belegwen and I are able to work well with one another. There will not be a problem at Helm's Deep."

"You chose her as the second in command because you desire her! I knew it!" Eregdol shouted, drawing a rather large assumption from the little information he had offered Bragolith.

Because no moderators were present, a loud argument quickly broke out between the council members, several of them raising their voices and trying to make themselves heard overtop of one another. The only one who was not saying anything was the healer Linedhel, who stood quietly off to the side, listening to their squabbling with a horrified look on his face.

"You think so little of me that you would accuse me of choosing someone for personal gain, rather than merit! I would never do that!" Haldir hissed at Eregdol, swiftly losing control of his well-checked anger. "Lady Galadriel chose Belegwen as second, not I!"

"I think we all need to calm down; this is getting out of hand!" Bragolith shouted, trying to physically separate Haldir and Eregdol, who looked as if they could start brawling at any minute.

No one calmed down though and the arguments continued to escalate.

"DARO!" Screamed an unexpected voice, which rang out above all the others. Haldir turned and saw Belegwen seething with anger. All the other council members turned to face her as well, shocked at this demonstration of emotions from the elleth who always kept them tucked away.

"It is my fault." She said, breathing heavily with emotion. "It was I who kissed Haldir and broke the code. I accept the full blame."

_"_ _Merciful shores, no!"_ Haldir thought to himself as he realized what Belegwen was about to do. She did not need to take the blame alone! Immediately, Haldir tried to talk her out of it. "Belegwen, do not-"

"I appreciate that you want to protect my status as marchwarden Haldir, but it is unnecessary. It was I who approached Haldir with an eagerness to be with him. He has been nothing but honorable towards me though. Do not punish him for my actions. As I said before, I accept the full blame." She stated confidently, meeting the eyes of several of the council members.

Haldir stared at her, perplexed by this turn of events. Belegwen would not meet his eyes though and he was uncertain of what to do. He had planned to share the blame with her, but to do so now would paint her as a liar before the council members. She had just said that he had shown no impropriety towards her to every member of the council. Surely revealing that she had lied would only make things worse, right? Lying in front of the council was also a crime and Haldir did not want Belegwen to get into additional trouble.

Why had she done this though? Why would she not allow him to help her? Why would she not face this with him together, as they had planned less than an hour ago?

"I do not think this decision should be made today. Let us put this trial on hold until the lord and lady can deal with it fairly within the city." Linedhel said softly, speaking up for the first time today.

Eregdol started, "She admits her guilt though-"

"It is only because we are shouting at each other Eregdol. Linedhel is right, this must be left up to the lord and lady." Bragolith said quietly, lowering his eyes in shame over the complete loss of control that had just occurred between the council members.

"If she has to wait for a trial though, she will not be able to lead in the battle." Esgalamon said thoughtfully. "The rule still stands that until a warden has been proven innocent of a crime, they cannot resume their work."

"Who will be second if Belegwen cannot work?" Valtaur asked.

"An exception must be made. No one else is prepared to take up her job!" Haldir argued fiercly, filled with anger over this new revelation. "What will happen to us if I fall and there is no second? She must continue on—it is her job and no one else will be ready to do this in time for the battle!"

"I think it would be better if she stepped down until the trial Haldir." Esgalamon said, folding his arms in front of him. "She is clearly a distraction to you and we need you to be at your best to lead the soldiers well."

"Yes," Eregdol said, agreeing instantaneously with Esgalamon. Haldir rolled his eyes; this had been precisely what he wanted to achieve with the council meeting this morning. "She made the mistake and now must face the consequence of waiting for the trial. This is what is best for the soldiers."

Haldir's heart skipped a couple of beats as he saw Valtaur nod his head in agreement. Three of the five council members wanted Belegwen to step down until the trial, which would be months from now. From deep within their bond, Haldir felt Belegwen breaking apart from within, though she showed no signs of distress on her face. She was a soldier first, guarding her emotions with an iron-like vice, the same way Haldir did for himself.

"Does anyone else have any input into the ruling?" Eregdol asked, looking from member to member of the council.

"I object! Belegwen is needed in the battle!" Haldir called out once again, frustrated that his voice seemed to be falling on deaf ears.

"You do not get a vote today, as your misdeeds are the subject of this trial." Eregdol reminded him, visibly enjoying having something to hold over Haldir's head for a change. "From what I understand, the vote is three to two, with the majority in favor of Belegwen waiting for a trial within the city and surrendering her status as marchwarden until that day."

"I object! We will need a second for the battle and Haldir is right; no one can be trained and ready to handle a job like that by the time we arrive at Helm's Deep." Bragolith quickly said with concern laced into his voice. "I too think we should let Belegwen fight at Helm's Deep before the trial."

"He can choose another second for the time being. Haldir will not fall anyway, so it is unnecessary." Valtaur said with a voice full of confidence. Haldir could only wish he felt such confidence within himself though. After spending every night dreaming about Orophin dragging him into death for the last month, he felt very certain that a second was indeed necessary.

"Very well then. Belegwen, you must relinquish your rights as marchwarden until your trial. Hand over your Galadhrim bow, sword, and pin." Eregdol said without a trace of empathy in his voice.

Haldir scowled at him and cursed mentally as he watched Belegwen detach the bow and quiver from her back, then handed them to Eregdol. This was not at all how Haldir had pictured this going. He was uncertain of how to help her though, now that she had refused his help by taking the matter into her own hands with her lie. He watched helplessly as she reached into the collar of her armor, pulled out her leaf pin, and placed it in Eregdol's hand. She then stepped back from him and stood stoically next to Haldir.

"The sword too." Eregdol stated, nodding towards Nimrodel, which was dangling at her side.

"It is not Galadhrim issue, but a personal gift I received from Lady Galadriel. I will be keeping it with me." She said, challenging him with her eyes to try and take the sword away from her. Haldir knew there would be no way to get the sword from her without a fight, as it was one of her most precious possessions and often seemed like it was an additional limb on her body. Luckily, Eregdol did not press the issue.

"Is the meeting adjourned then?" Belegwen asked with a voice that sounded much too controlled. Haldir knew she was falling apart under the surface of that calm façade she exhibited. He could feel the pain of these actions eating her alive from within and he silently mourned for her loss. Haldir saw that her dull eyes staring at the bow that rested in Eregdol's hands.

Her bow.

Would it ever rest in her capable hands again?

"Let us get back to our march now. It is well past dawn and we are falling behind." Valtaur said and then started to walk away, heading back to where the soldiers were lined up and ready to go. The other council members nodded and audibly agreed, which left Haldir staring at Belegwen in silence behind the medical cart.

Haldir quickly took the two steps necessary to close the gap between them and gently put his hand on her upper arm. "Belegwen, I-"

"Don't." She replied coldly, turning away from him with a look of excruciating pain briefly flashing across her facial features before she regained control of herself. "Just… don't."

And with her simple sentiment expressed, Belegwen quickly walked away from Haldir, leaving him to deal with the confusion and grief of the situation on his own.


	39. A Healer's Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Queen_Lightwood for the comment! Enjoy the next installment of TBFF!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 39: A Healer's Help

_"_ _Belegwen,"_ Haldir whispered to her from within his mind's eye. He had lingered there for a long time now, trying to get her attention so he could speak with her. She was physically there with him, but sat unmoving with her arms wrapped around her bent knees. Her face was leaned downward and appeared unaware of his presence. Her eyes were distant and unseeing, much like they had been before she had figured out how to join him within their minds to converse.

Nonetheless, he suspected she could hear him. Haldir was fairly certain that she was purposefully choosing not to acknowledge him at this point.

_"_ _Please speak with me Belegwen. Help me understand why you did this to yourself. I only sought to help you. I did not want for you to take the blame on your own."_ He explained once again as he paced around her frozen figure, hoping she was somehow listening even though it appeared she was not.

Haldir was trying to be gentle and use tact when he spoke to her, fearing they would quarrel once again as they had when he disagreed with her over Erthalion's judgement in Caras Galadhon. To say the least, that night had been unpleasant, as had the months that followed while they avoided one another. Both of them had physically faded due to the anger and distance between them. Haldir did not want either of them to fade again and was trying to show Belegwen a generous amount of consideration as he spoke with her.

However, on the inside Haldir was very irritated about what had happened earlier in the day. He and Belegwen were supposed to operate a team, both as marchwardens and as romantic partners, but they had failed at it miserably when it had mattered the most.

Haldir had proposed a plan to her without asking for her opinion about it and his plan had not worked effectively. The council members had not heard him out as he had hoped and had spent a liberal amount of time arguing with each other, rather than listening to them. Belegwen, on the other hand, had chosen to initiate a plan she devised on her own without consulting him at all and it had resulted in devastating consequences.

Look where both of their plans had gotten them! Now they were separated from each other once again and Belegwen was so upset that she would not even indicate whether or not she heard him within her own mind. Idly, Haldir wondered if she could feel his exasperation with the situation through their bond. Perhaps his own uncontrolled anger was the reason she did not answer.

_"_ _Belegwen, answer me. Please."_ He now pleaded, trying heartily not to lose his temper over her lack of response. He absolutely hated that she would not speak with him about this. Neither of them had been able to work together appropriately. Instead, they had both acted selfishly.

Would they ever learn to trust one another?

Would a marriage between them really work out if they could not trust one another?

Frustrated, Haldir found he was unwilling to stay within the confines of their shared mental space without receiving a response. He quietly allowed himself to fade into the background as he sank more deeply into his vexation. Once again, he was clueless on how to deal with the relationship between them. He was also weary from the drama they ultimately left in the wake of their shared mistakes time after time.

He had to find a solution to the problem between them and fast, before it spiraled out of control and caused them to fade once again. After thinking about it for a while, Haldir decided that if she would not allow him to speak to her from within their mind's eye, he would have to locate her physical presence so that she could no longer ignore him.

Indeed, they were going to work out this problem once and for all.

ooOoo

For three days, Belegwen hid from everyone. Trailing far beyond the carts at the army's flank, Belegwen followed the soldiers from behind during their daily marches. Occasionally, she would catch the sympathetic of eye of a scout who had been sent to the back of the ranks to check for potential foes. After the first two days, she did not even bother to glance at them, hating how their looks of pity made her feel inside.

Avoiding soldiers during the night was a little trickier for Belegwen though. Both Haldir and Rumil had been searching for her every evening, but she did not wish to speak with either of them and had made herself scarce, choosing to hide silently amid the long grasses of the fields or underneath one of the carts. The medical cart in particular had proven to be a great hiding spot, as Belegwen found she could wedge herself between the axle and the base of the wagon bed. From that spot, she could not be seen unless someone carefully inspected the underside of the wagon.

When the soldiers appeared to be sleeping, Belegwen would ease her way down from the axle and sleep underneath the cart until she woke up to the sound of the soldiers walking back into their ranks, at which point she would crouch down in the grass until everyone left and then follow once again in silence.

While she refused to let her emotions show externally, all Belegwen dwelled on during the day were her own deep feelings of shame and loss. She had messed up and was now paying the price for it by giving up the only thing that had ever mattered to her. She knew that to most, this would not be nearly as consequential as it was to her. Belegwen had struggled and fought all her life to be a warden first and foremost, then once again to gain acceptance as a marchwarden. She had achieved her goals and did not want to give the position up yet.

Without the purpose her position had provided her, she felt rather empty inside. Lord Celeborn himself had presented Belegwen with her own bow of the Galadhrim. Such pride she had felt that day as Lord Celeborn gave into her only desire, at last allowing her to join the wardens as she had longed for since she had become his ward. Placing that exact bow in Eregdol's hands a few days prior had broken something within her which could not be fixed.

Who was she, if not a warden?

_"_ _Just some elleth,"_ she thought to herself with a frown. _"A terribly ordinary elleth with no family, trade, or talent to share with the city."_ What would she do when she got home and had no purpose? Would she have to start her life all over again and learn to do something else?

Belegwen did not want to do anything else. There was only one job for her. She was barred from doing it though, exiled from the only thing that made her feel whole. These horrifying thoughts burned through her mind over and over again during the marches, leaving behind scars that would not be healed for a long time.

There was one good thing she had to think about during the day though; she had succeeded in protecting Haldir's position as marchwarden. At least he could go on with his life normally, even though she could not. This knowledge brought her a bit of joy from time to time, though it often ended up tainted with her own depression if she lingered on it for very long.

That thought always led to yet another question she could not seem to answer. What was she going to do about Haldir now? She knew he was upset with her for taking the blame upon herself, rather than sharing it with him. Haldir was also mad that she had not let him help her. She could feel his anger through their bond, along with a smattering of other confusing emotions about her and the council meeting.

What would become of them now that they were separated and on the verge of arguing once again?

Thoughts such as these haunted Belegwen for the first couple of nights she spent in hiding. She was embarrassed about what she had become, a scared elleth who hid from the whispered accusations of the soldiers. She did not know how to overcome her deep feelings of despair and she was definitely not ready to talk about them with anyone yet. Thus, Belegwen continued to hide to try and buy herself some time to work through the pain of the situation by herself.

However, on the third night Belegwen discovered that her presence had not gone fully unnoticed when a hand gently set a leaf-wrapped piece of lembas bread underneath the cart, right next to the wheel she had chosen to lean against. Studying the feet that were walking away from her, Belegwen recognized the tan robes and realized it was the healer Linedhel who had found her hiding spot. He did not confront her though, but simply went about his business as usual. This relieved Belegwen, as she was still not ready to face anyone after suffering such great embarrassment and loss at the hands of the council.

Belegwen was starving though and ate more than one bite of the lembas bread, having now gone three days without food. She was very thankful he had realized she had not been eating and appreciated the healer's kind gesture. Tucking the remaining bread into her armor, she climbed back over the axle of the cart and waited in silence for the soldiers to settle down for the night so she too could sleep. That is, if she was able to endure sleeping through her own ghastly dreams about her family's fate.

ooOoo

Upon first hearing the rumors, Rumil had rolled his eyes and chastised the soldiers beside him for spreading idle gossip about their female marchwarden. However, when Rumil noticed that Belegwen was no longer standing beside Haldir as the marches finally commenced at a later time than usual, he became gravely concerned. Had something truly happened to Belegwen? Rumil had no way to find out during the marches and was left with all sorts of horrible scenarios running amuck in his brain as they traveled that day.

Then, when they had finally stopped for the night, the rumors had spread expediently amongst the soldiers, much to his shock and horror. That night, they lingered like a cloud of haze over the entire group and had dominated the conversations of the tired elves. Frantic with worry, Rumil had searched the camp, desperately hoping to find Belegwen and acquire the truth. She was nowhere to be found though.

Rumil shook his head as he met Haldir's blue eyes across the grassy plains. He and his brother had been looking for her every night during their last three stops. Both had been looking for her separately at first. Upon realizing they were searching for the same elf, they had joined forces to try and find her. Even together, the brothers could not seem to locate her. Rumil knew she was still with the group because the scouts who checked the army's flanks had seen her repeatedly and reported it to Haldir. At night though, Rumil suspected she hid from them to avoid having a confrontation.

Needless to say, her strategy was working. Neither of them had any idea of where she was hiding. They had searched through the grasses, inside and underneath carts, and amongst the ranks of the soldiers who were settling in for half a night's worth of sleep. Not even a clue concerning her whereabouts could be found within their camps.

"I have no idea how she is able to hide this well," Rumil said as Haldir walked towards him. "She would make a good spy, brother."

"She is small and adept at blending into the background so that elves do not pay her any heed. I never should have worked with her so hard on passing through the tall grasses unnoticed while at the training grounds. I fear I may have given her a great advantage over us." Haldir replied, still scanning the area around them for any possible signs of her.

"I fear for her, Haldir. I spoke with Esgalamon tonight and he said she has not come to the dining cart since the council meeting. She has potentially gone three days without any food. If something happens to her while she is trailing behind us, we may end up leaving her behind without realizing it." Rumil said, feeling frustrated at his own inability to help his friend in her time of need.

He really needed to know if Belegwen was okay. He sincerely doubted she was though, not if the rumors were true. Rumil also wanted to know what had really happened at the council meeting, but had not dared to ask his brother about it. Haldir had not been too keen on opening up to him recently and had reacted in anger nearly every time Rumil had tried to speak with him about personal matters. Broaching this topic with him now seemed like an invitation for trouble.

Rumil also knew Belegwen's current state had something to do with the relationship between her and Haldir, which made it an even more perilous conversation. The whispers around the camp had spoken of an illicit kiss passing between the two of them, which had breached the warden's code. With this potentially being the truth, Rumil was uncertain of how much longer he could wait before confronting his brother about it, especially with Belegwen hiding from them the way she was.

_"_ _If only I could speak with her."_ He thought to himself as he stared at Haldir, who had resumed looking through the tall grasses. _"Surely she would tell me what has happened and allow me to help her. I do not understand how Haldir could allow this to happen to her."_

"Rumil," a quiet voice said in greeting, interrupting his thoughts. Rumil turned to find the healer Linedhel standing behind him and studying him with a very knowing look in his ancient grey eyes. Linedhel said nothing more, but motioned for him to follow. He motioned to Haldir in the same way when he made eye contact with him a minute later. The two brothers followed Linedhel to a more private location, as far away from the ears of the others as safety would allow.

Neither knew what the stern elf was about to say, as he quickly checked for other elves before speaking to them. "I have brought you here because you are both worried about Belegwen. I have watched you searching for her the last few nights and I wanted to let you know that I have seen her and she is fine."

"You have?" Haldir asked immediately, giving the serious healer a very commanding look. "I need to speak with her immediately. Where is she?"

Linedhel stared at Haldir for a moment, as if analyzing him and his intent before answering. "I am unwilling to tell you at this time." He said slowly, as though he knew this answer would irritate Haldir.

"Excuse me?" Haldir all but spat at the healer, his anger setting fire to his blue eyes as he glared at Linedhel. As a marchwarden, Haldir was not accustomed to being told no and Rumil could tell that this answer had aggrivated the painful emotions that were already brewing within his brother. "Why not?"

"Belegwen is hiding because she does not want to be found right now Haldir. I refuse to be the one who betrays her trust when she is in such a fragile state. We both know she lost all of her dignity and credibility at the council meeting. I would ask you to respect her by leaving her alone for a few days. This will allow her to come to terms with what has happened. I am certain Belegwen will come back out in due time when she is ready to deal with this." He said calmly, standing his ground against Haldir. There was a staunch firmness about him that Rumil had not expected from the healer.

"How can I trust this is true? Do you know Belegwen well?" Haldir questioned, clearly uncertain about whether or not this was an appropriate way to handle the current situation.

"No, I do not know Belegwen well, but I was friends with her adar long ago and he reacted to problems in such ways on occasion," Linedhel replied. "He often needed to be by himself for a while to digest difficult news. I imagine Belegwen is cut from the same cloth. That is what her actions suggest anyway."

Rumil could sense Haldir's mounting frustration as he started to pace in front of them. He could tell Haldir was rather upset by Linedhel's lack of assistance. Rumil also did not want to wait any longer to find her, though Linedhel's observations did seem to have an quite a bit of truth to them.

Rumil wondered if the healer might be right. Perhaps Belegwen was too embarrassed over what had happened to allow someone close to her assist. Perhaps Linedhel, who was separated from the situation because he was not a soldier, could be neutral enough in the situation to reach out to her in a way that Rumil and Haldir could not.

Still, he wished it was he who could help her.

"I heard she has not eaten in days from Esgalamon," Rumil interjected, deciding to try and sway the stubborn healer one more time before possibly giving in to him. "I think seeing her briefly would help to alleviate some of our worries."

"I have already taken care of the problem. I gave her a whole piece of lembas bread earlier tonight. She should have at least a week's worth of meals from it. I can always get her more, if need be. Esgalamon was eager to accommodate her in this way. He cannot bear the thought of someone going hungry." Linedhel said confidently, with an eagerness to prove himself worthy of the task.

Rumil could see that Haldir was thinking the situation through as he paced silently through the knee-high grass over and over again. It was clear Haldir desired to be the one who helped Belegwen, but the longer Linedhel talked about the situation, the more it sounded better to leave it in his hands. After all, Belegwen had allowed Linedhel to find her, which was a courtesy she had not extended to himself or Haldir.

"Marchwarden, if I may," Linedhel interjected, stepping in front of Haldir and forcing him to stop pacing for a moment, "There is not much a healer can do to serve on this journey until the battle is underway. However, this is one way I can easily help you now. If you afford me this opportunity, I will prove my worth to you and will get Belegwen back to her normal self as soon as possible."

"You wish to do this?" Haldir said, scoffing at Linedhel's ever so serious face before continuing. "I will give you a week to deal with this. If she has not been seen in a week though, I will personally tear this camp to shreds until I find her."

ooOoo

"Perhaps you are unaware, but I was friends with Belegond for many years before his passing."

Belegwen snapped to attention instantly from on top of the axle of the medical cart as she heard the name of her adar uttered for the first time in decades. Was the healer Linedhel trying to strike up a conversation with her? She knew he was aware that she had been staying under his cart regularly, as he had taken to leaving food and water skins on the ground beside her for the last two days. However, he had not said anything to her until now.

Needless to say, this plausible conversation intrigued Belegwen and drew her far from her thoughts of misery. No one but Lord Celeborn ever bothered to speak with her about her father unless they were offering her condolences concerning his fate. Her ears twitched as she listened carefully, hoping to hear something more about her adar.

"I actually met him the day you were born. Your naneth had started to have you a few weeks early and Belegond was beside himself with worry when he learned that Eltirwen was traveling between Greenwood and Lothlorien at the time. Your parents had planned for Eltirwen to birth you, as most couples do. She is considered the premier midwife of Caras Galadhon and delivers most of the elflings who come along in Lothlorien." Linedhel said, pausing for a moment before he continued.

"However, I was the healer who was available and so it was I who assisted your naneth in bringing you into this world. You were the first elfling I ever delivered and I was nearly as nervous as your adar, but everything went well enough and you were safely cradled in his arms by the end of the night." Linedhel stated, then let out the smallest sound of amusement before adding, "After that, Belegond always regarded me as some sort of hero, though I had merely done my job."

Belegwen was not sure what had shocked her more just now—the severely serious elf's tiny laugh or the fact that he had been present when she was born. Belegwen had known that Linedhel was older than many of the elves of Caras Galadhon. However, knowing that she was well over 3,000 and finding out that he had been a trained healer who was present during her birth really put things into perspective.

"In the morning, I asked Belegond why he named you after himself. As I'm sure you know, it is the custom in Lothlorien for the firstborn, primarily if the elfling is a son, to be named after his adar in some way. However, your brother had arrived centuries before you and the name 'Nenrim' is much closer to your naneth's name than to Belegond's."

Belegwen could stand it no longer and pushed herself off the axle and into the grass as Linedhel continued to tell her the story of her birth. She wanted to see Linedhel's facial expressions as he spoke of her adar, so she quickly started to crawl out from under the cart.

"Belegond said his son was nothing like him, but he had repeatedly dreamed that you would reflect his spirit, just as your brother Nenrim reflected your naneth's spirit. He was surprised at first that you were not a second son, but he was not put off by your gender at all and still believed you would be just like him. Thus, he gave you the name 'Belegwen.' How very fitting it turned out to be." Linedhel said, meeting Belegwen's eyes as she stood up carefully beside him. "You are indeed very much like your adar."

Belegwen stared at him as the last purple light of the sunset faintly lit up his face. Oddly, Linedhel looked both beautifully young and anciently wise all at the same time to her. His unbraided silver hair was blowing behind him as he recounted the past to her.

"He always brought you around to see me after that; he was so very proud of you. I always saw him carrying you around the city, showing you off to those he knew well. I imagine he would still be bragging about you today if he knew all you had accomplished here."

Belegwen made a soft sound of disdain upon hearing this and pinched her eyes closed for a brief moment before looking at him once again. Pain was evident in her voice when she slowly replied, "I am a disgraced soldier who is cowardly enough to hide under a cart for days, Linedhel. I daresay he would not be proud of that."

"One mistake over a long career is hardly enough to affect the pride of a doting adar, Belegwen. Besides, this is only temporary. The lord and lady will reinstate you; it is as certain to me as the night giving way to the dawn in a few short hours." Linedhel said, looking at her with all of the confidence in the world. Belegwen did not know whether or not she believed this, but she was comforted nonetheless by his high opinion of her.

"Meanwhile, I think you are in desperate need of a distraction. You need something to take your mind off these thoughts of uncertainty; something to make you feel useful at a time when your purpose has been altered." Linedhel said, offering her a small smile of encouragement before continuing. "That is where I come in."

Belegwen lifted her eyebrows up at this suggestion. Precisely what did Linedhel have in mind?

"I could use a second set of hands assisting me on this trip. I thought perhaps I might teach you some basics about healing as we travel to Helm's Deep and then you could be of use helping with the injuries of the soldiers. I imagine having more than a rudimentary understanding of healing would greatly benefit you as a warden when you return to the fences in Lothlorien."

"In return, I thought you might be willing to share some of your own knowledge with me. You are a great teacher of swordsmanship. Perhaps you would be willing to practice with me so that I might once again get used to wielding a sword, should it become necessary during the battle."

Thoughtfully, Belegwen contemplated Linedhel's bargain in silence. She knew the healer was right. Belegwen did need a way to focus on something other than her own failures right now and this elf who had known her adar intrigued her. Helping him review swordsmanship would certainly be easy enough, though Belegwen feared that sparring with him might attract the attention of other soldiers, which she did not want currently.

Still, accepting the offer might earn her the opportunity to hear more stories about her adar, which she very much wanted. "I accept your offer, Linedhel. We will start to work with the sword tomorrow evening."

"I will look forward to it Marchwarden," he answered with a quick smile. "Tomorrow, you may ride on the cart with me and we will begin to explore the basics of healing together."

ooOoo

Haldir was very relieved to see Belegwen speaking with Linedhel earlier in the evening. She had finally come out of hiding and appeared to be doing well enough on the outside, though he still sensed a deep, unyielding sadness radiating from within her very soul. Haldir had stayed true to his word and had kept his distance, trying to trust that an elf like Linedhel would have the right amount of discretion to handle her delicate state properly.

Still, he desired to speak with her, though he did not want to drive her into hiding once more. Since she seemed to be avoiding him, he decided he would have to try and speak with her at a time when she might be less guarded. Thus, Haldir had slept during the first watch and was awake during the second, most of which he spent watching her sleep within his mind's eye.

She was beautiful sleeping there, her hair sprawled out across the darkness within their linked minds and her eyes glazed in reverie. Other than her armor and Rumil's fancy braiding, she looked just as Haldir remembered her from the moment he had memorized the night before they left Caras Galadhon. Unable to resist temptation, he had laid down beside her in the darkness and had watched her sleep for the last few hours, stroking her hair lovingly every so often.

Even if it was only within the confines of their minds, Haldir still felt comforted by her presence beside him. His heart was filled with remorse over her situation, but he still did not know how to fix it, no matter how greatly he desired to do just that. If nothing else though, perhaps he could offer her a bit of comfort when she woke up.

After a few hours, she did start to stir. Haldir stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand, then pulled her close to him so he could put his arm around her as she woke up. He listened as she inhaled deeply, then watched as her eyes blinked a few times before settling on him in a half-closed, barely awake sort of way.

"Haldir… Is this a dream?" She whispered, reaching out to touch the hand that was stroking her face and laying her own hand over the top of it. She pressed his hand to her cheek and he could feel the bond's power through it, even though they were only touching each other within their connected minds.

Haldir leaned in close and pressed a gentle kiss upon her lips before answering. "No, I am here sweet warden. I have missed you."

When he pulled away, he could see the pain he had been feeling from her over the last few days written all over her face. Though she did not cry, as he knew she would not, her scrunched up face still filled him with agony, as he knew she could barely endure what had happened.

"Belegwen," he whispered to her, pulling her face close to his own and resting their foreheads together gently, "I am so sorry this happened. It was not my intention for this to be taken away from you. I want you at my side as marchwarden and I will do whatever it takes to get you back there. Please believe me."

She did not reply with words, but nodded her head a bit, earning her yet another gentle kiss from Haldir. He desperately did not want to let her go, but it was nearly dawn and he knew he needed to bid her goodbye so he could lead the marches.

"Remember, I am with you always and I am forever on your side. When you are ready to battle against the council, let me know and I will be right there with you. I promise." He said sincerely, stroking her face again and enjoying how she gently gripped his own between her two hands. It was hard to have skin-on-skin contact with both of them wearing full suits of armor, but they were trying their best to touch one another and enjoy the tender moment while it lasted.

Belegwen nodded again, her blue eyes glistening with unshed tears as she stared into his eyes with intensity. Haldir kissed her once more, passionately brushing his lips over hers, then lingering so very close to her face momentarily, savoring this last moment with her. Only then did he allow himself to fade out of the mind's eye and fully back into his physical presence, immediately commanding the soldiers to start getting ready for their day.


	40. Warg Riders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! Enjoy the next installment!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 40: Warg Riders

Belegwen had spent the last week with Linedhel and was surprised to find herself enjoying the serious elf's company. Though he did not often show his feelings well, Belegwen had seen a few of his tiny smiles during the last few days and figured he must be another reserved ellon, much like Haldir. So far, she had found him to be both a friend and a mentor towards her, almost like an uncle she had not known she possessed.

The healing lessons had not been terribly dull either. Belegwen had already learned how to identify several plants and their healing properties and had gotten to practice sewing up her first wound after one of the soldiers approached Linedhel, having fallen into a small patch of briars during their daily marches. Dealing with the wound itself had come easily enough for Belegwen, but the hard part had been going near the soldier after all of the rumors that she heard concerning her relationship with Haldir.

Despite her reluctance, Linedhel had been encouraging and supportive. Belegwen sighed as she thought over the conversation they had concerning the rumors.

 _"_ _You have never seemed to struggle with this before, Belegwen. I have heard many rumors go around about you in the past, so tell me why this time is different." Linedhel inquired, looking down at her with a perplexed expression on his face._

 _"_ _The rumors of the past were all lies wardens made up about me, so they were easy to overlook. This time there is truth to what they say though! I did break the warden's code and it is very embarrassing having the soldiers know about it." Belegwen answered lowly, staring at the ground to try and hide her visage of pain. It was pointless though; she knew it was obvious to him._

_Linedhel started to try and convince her otherwise, saying, "Belegwen, surely you can-"_

_"_ _I do not wish to face that soldier Linedhel. I have listened to several of their conversations while I was in hiding and they are saying horrible things about me. They all know I broke the warden's code. Some of them claim I am trying to manipulate power away from Haldir and others say I give my affections away far too easily. It is terrible to be surrounded by these rumors when I thought I had earned their respect. I did not think this was going to happen again." She said, briefly wondering if going back into hiding might be an ideal strategy._

 _"_ _I know," Linedhel said, putting a hand on her shoulder to show solidarity. "Some of them do say those things and they are wrong. You have selective hearing though Belegwen, for some of them also take your side and are disappointed in how the council meeting ousted you from your well-deserved position. Really listen to all of the conversations going on around you, rather than focusing in on the negative ones and you will have a clearer perception of the true reality surrounding you."_

_After mulling this new information over, Belegwen found herself doubting Linedhel, even though he had been quite truthful with her thus far. "You have heard this?" Belegwen questioned uncertainly, wondering if Linedhel spoke the truth or if he was merely trying to boost her confidence._

_"_ _Absolutely. I know you do not realize it, but there are some wardens here who are more loyal to you than Haldir. They have seen your skills and talents first hand; most importantly, they know you will do whatever you can to ensure their protection, even at the cost of your own. Even I can see that within you and I hardly know you. How much more do you think they can see it? After all, they work with you every day; some have for thousands of years." He answered steadily while looking at her with full confidence, the way he always did. It was a little unnerving to Belegwen that he believed in her so deeply when she felt so bereft._

 _"_ _Give the soldiers the benefit of the doubt, Belegwen. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at what you find." He said. She had then allowed herself to be led to the bleeding soldier and had followed Linedhel's tutelage on how to sew him up. She had taken care to stop the bleeding first and then slowly and carefully stitched him up._

All in all, being around Linedhel seemed to be good for her. While she desperately missed being a warden, spending time with him was refreshing, particularly the part where he told Belegwen stories about her adar. He had filled much of their time together with conversations and stories. It was as if he sensed that she became depressed when sitting in silence. Thusly, he did his best to fill the silence with conversations about anything and everything.

"So, I take it you must have decided to become a warden because of your adar. Is there something he did that encouraged you to become a warden?" Linedhel asked her while looking forward and guiding the horses that pulled their cart carefully across the grassy field.

"You know," Belegwen said cautiously, pausing as she mentally tried to decide how truthful she wanted to be with Linedhel, "Perhaps he would have influenced the decision had he not been taken from me so suddenly. However, it was not ada who influenced my decision."

"The day of my family's passing, there was one warden who saved me from my hiding spot within the talan. He was very compassionate and talked with me until I was willing to leave the closet I had hidden in for hours. He covered my eyes so I would not have to look upon the scene again and then carried me into the city, even though I was much too old of an elfling for such treatment. He told me I was brave like the wardens he worked with and he rescued me by bringing me to Lord Celeborn, who then took me on as his ward." Belegwen slowly explained, only glancing at Linedhel as she finished her story.

"When he called me brave, I believed it. I decided then that I wanted to save elves in bad situations too. I wanted to stand up against evil and prevent tragedies, such as the one that befell my family, from ever happening again. That is why I became a warden and that is still what I strive to do, even to this day." Belegwen said adamantly, feeling a brief twinge of pride in her heart before the feeling of regret returned.

Oh, how she missed being a warden! How empty her life felt without it! Belegwen quickly looked away from Linedhel as tears threatened to run down her face once again, despite her best efforts to stifle them.

"May I ask who this warden is who saved you?" Linedhel asked gently.

"Well… to be quite honest, I do not know. I have not seen him since the day he saved me. He must have moved or set sail soon after the incident." Belegwen said softly, remembering the blue eyes that had stared so deeply into her own when the closet door had finally come open that day. "I do wish I knew who it was so I could thank him someday though. He was truly a hero to me."

"Perhaps someday you will see him again and get to do just that," Linedhel said, patting her on the shoulder briefly before turning his attention back to the horses pulling the cart once more. The two sat in silence for a while, Belegwen once again lost in thought as she remembered the warden who had saved her from the talan after the mysterious attack that had left her an orphan.

"Belegwen, do you see the athelas plant growing down there?" Linedhel asked, pointing to some large green plants a few paces away from the cart. "Would you go pick those for me and put them in the cart? I will hang them up to dry for future use when we stop for the night."

Happy to have something to take her mind off her dead family, Belegwen made to jump off the cart, only to have the back of her unlatched armor catch on the seat as she slid down, resulting in her nearly falling on her face as she fell into the grass.

"Are you alright Belegwen?" Linedhel quickly asked, stopping the horses immediately so he could scoot over in the seat and find out what had happened to her. From the corner of her eye, Belegwen saw him watching as she scrambled to her feet and attempted to latch her armor back into place without success. "Your armor is not fitting properly, is it?"

"No, it is not," she said softly, blushing a little because he had noticed her embarrassing problem. "I did not realize it until after we left Caras Galadhon and now it is becoming a bit of a problem."

"No matter," Linedhel replied. "Since you will not be fighting the battle anyway, perhaps you would like to borrow one of my healing robes? It will be a bit long on you, but we could hem it nicely. I imagine the robes would be much more comfortable than what you have on now and it would help the soldiers know you are available to provide healing services to them, as well."

Surely taking the armor off would not hurt anything, would it? After all, it was as Linedhel said: she was not going to battle. "Thanks Linedhel, I would like that." She replied, then quickly ran behind the cart to get the altheas. Once it was cut, she climbed into the back of the cart and was able to locate the tan healing robes Linedhel had packed easily enough.

 _"_ _He is right,"_ she thought to herself as she unfolded a set and saw that the bottom pooled on the floor when she held it up against her body. _"It is going to be much too long."_  
  
Regardless, Belegwen was still relieved to get the armor off. That is, until she made a very bizarre discovery. What she had thought was excess muscle around her middle from training with Haldir was something much different. Upon lifting up the black undershirt she wore beneath her armor, she found her middle to be extended and round.

That was not muscle.

In fact, there was no mistaking what it was. Belegwen had seen many ellyth walking around the city with precisely this shape of midsection during her life.

They were all expecting an elfling.

Oh dear Vala.

Belegwen drew in a shaky breath as she felt where the elfling rested within her for the first time. In all her years, she had never thought this would actually happen to her. Amongst her most secret desires, Belegwen had indeed wanted to have an elfling with Haldir. However, she had not told him about this desire because he had not made any proclamations of love or marriage to her.

She had wanted this, but not in this way or at this time either, as they were rushing into a battle. Elves never had offspring during times of war; it was unheard of. Then again, was there ever a time when she and Haldir would not be facing the possibility of a battle, whether at the borders or amongst an army such as this? A time of peace might be an impossibility for the two hardened wardens who were determined to guard Lothlorien until the end of their days.

The circumstances surrounding this pregnancy were not ideal, to say the least. On top of this, Belegwen knew absolutely nothing about being a naneth or raising an elfling.

What was she going to do?

What would Haldir do? Belegwen balked at the thought, uncertain whether such news would make him angry or joyful. She felt a twinge of panic rise up within her because she was uncertain of how Haldir would react to this. He had never spoken to her about wanting elflings. Then again, he also had never told her that he loved her, even though his actions suggested he did. Belegwen repeatedly tried to reassure herself that he did have feelings for her, thinking back to the gentle and loving treatment he had given her a week ago when he laid beside her within the confines of their connected minds.

He still had not said it though. What if he did not return her feelings?

What if he did not love her?

That particular thought made Belegwen feel as though she might be sick, a full wave of anxiety washing over her and unsettling her further. She felt as if she was drowning hopelessly within its painful depths.

Quickly, she put the plain white healer's robes over her undershirt and tunic pants, then finished the look with the tan robes that belonged over the white ones. They had a metal clasp, which connected the two sides across her chest. Once it was latched, Belegwen took a moment to try and catch her breath.

The good thing about the robes was their size. They were so baggy and large that her small, pregnant stomach did not protrude from them. However, Belegwen knew they would only hide her growing middle for so long.

How long had she been this way without knowing? Belegwen knew they had been traveling for about a month and a half. She and Haldir had been together right before they left, but she doubted that instance would have led to the girth she was seeing around herself now. No, it must have happened before she and Haldir had been separated for nearly three and half months while they had avoided each other over their argument about Erthalion. They had been together multiple times during the two months before their separation.

That would mean the elfling was nearly six to seven months along, about at the halfway mark of the pregnancy or perhaps just a bit further. Was this how big she was supposed to be right now? Belegwen had no idea and grew concerned now for the elfling within her, which had not received the attention he or she deserved over the last few months.

How had she missed this?

Grabbing some tiny metal pins from one of the cart's many drawers, Belegwen set about pinning the bottom of the robes up and out of the way so she would not trip on them while walking. Meanwhile, she pondered the biggest question within her mind…

When should she tell Haldir?

Belegwen knew this of all things could not be kept a secret forever. However, she also knew how distracted Haldir had been lately and did not want to further contribute to his already troubled state. Between the dreams about Orophin, his deep-seated jealously over Belegwen, the council meeting that had gone horribly wrong, and his own deep concern about her well being, Belegwen knew his mind was not where it ought to be with the battle quickly approaching. She had never seen Haldir this distracted before when it came to his duty and it worried Belegwen a great deal.

Pushing the last pin into the bottom of the robes, Belegwen stood up, then immediately sat back down as she felt the medical cart unexpectedly come to a halt, which was then followed by a jostle from the horses. Suddenly more alert than before, Belegwen could sense that something was amiss. Someone was shouting from amid the ranks of soldiers.

"Warg riders from the northern front!"

She peeked out of the flaps just in time to see their approach. There were more than a hundred of them banded together. These were orcs who were more intelligent than most and had been trained to ride on wargs as a cavalry. She saw the elves running to meet them in battle, Haldir bravely at the front of the throng with his red cape billowing behind him, leading the way into battle valiantly.

A sudden, low growl coming from the front of the cart quickly caught Belegwen's attention, which made her close the curtain in the back and quietly tiptoe to the front to peak out the other cloth-covered side of the cart. Belegwen gasped at what she saw.

One of the wargs was slowly stalking towards Linedhel, growling and bearing its drool-laden fangs at the healer. Belegwen watched as Linedhel nervously felt around under the cart's seat for his sword. She cringed in horror at the scene before her. Having worked with Linedhel for a week now, she knew precisely how out of practice the healer was with his sword. His stance had been clumsy when he practiced with her and his unsteady, unconfident offensive had been easily avoided.

He was not going to make it through this attack without help.

This put Belegwen into a quandary. Now that she knew she was carrying an elfling, she firmly believed going into this battle would be a mistake. However, she also knew she could not stay back there and watch the warg kill Linedhel. He was clearly too nervous to even grab the sword, having fumbled for it underneath his seat for several seconds to no avail.

"Eru Iluvatar, please keep me and this young one safe." Belegwen whispered as a prayer, touching her rounded stomach once more before reaching for her sword Nimrodel. A moment later, she pushed herself out of the flaps leading to the front of the wagon, effectively putting herself in between Linedhel and the warg.

"Get back!" Belegwen shouted fiercly, holding her sword at the ready in front of her. When the orc riding the warg started to snicker at her, she smiled dangerously and said, "Very well then, you shall face the consequences."

The orc then urged the warg on with his reins. It reared its matted furry legs into the air with a howl, opening its mouth wide to grab hold of Belegwen on its way back down. She was too fast though. She easily spotted his opening and made her move. Immediately, Belegwen thrust her sword into the beast's open mouth, penetrating all the way through his skull, effectively killing him with a single blow.

The orc proved to be more of a challenge though. Belegwen realized after the fact that she had jammed Nimrodel so deeply into the warg that it would not come back out easily. As the warg fell to the ground, Belegwen found herself letting go of her implanted sword as the orc jumped off the dead carcass and came after her with a jagged piece of metal that was crudely welded onto a metal bar. She jumped down from the cart with ease, avoiding blow and blow from the orc with fast defensive maneuvers.

When he brought the makeshift weapon above his head to stab her, Belegwen leapt out of the way so it became stuck in the dirt for a moment. Seeing her chance, Belegwen punched the orc with all her might as he attempted to free his weapon from the dirt. The orc was stunned by the punch momentarily, which gave Belegwen the opportunity to grab his head between her two hands, which she then twisted with all her strength until she heard his spine fracture and give way.

She let go of the body and ran back to the warg to retrieve Nimrodel. Bracing herself by putting a foot on top of the warg's bloody face, Belegwen used both hands and her leg to try and pull the sword out of the beast's head. After a few mighty tugs, she stumbled backward with a bloodied sword in her hands. She breathed a sigh of relief, only to gasp as a different warg rider grabbed her by one of her arms as he loped by, laughing as she shrieked. Her legs were dragging dangerously across the ground at a fast speed, hitting a few rocks and bodies that were scattered on the ground.

Belegwen looked up and grabbed the rider's arm firmly with her own hand, then used him as leverage to flip her legs up over her head and sat behind him in the warg's large saddle. With her sword conveniently in her free hand, Belegwen smacked the orc over the head repeatedly until he let go of her arm. When he did, he turned in the saddle to try and claw her off of him, but Belegwen violently freed her arm and then pushed him off the warg. She watched him scream as his arm rubbed against Nimrodel as he fell down. It severed the arm cleanly from his body as he rolled across the ground.

Grabbing the reins in her hands, Belegwen guided the loping warg towards a group of orcs and elves who were fighting on the ground, easily beheading two orcs while she passed by. After narrowly avoiding a few arrows whizzing her way, Belegwen quickly decided to reach in front and slit the warg's throat, then jumped away from him immediately to avoid crashing to the ground with his carcass. She hit the ground running, slashing at the legs of a couple other wargs who ran a little too close to her, all while running towards a much larger melee of orcs who were no longer on their wargs.

As she approached, she saw Eregdol and a few of the other master archers expertly taking down warg after warg with their bows, never missing a single shot. They were leaving the orcs to elves who preferred to use swords and knives. Belegwen rushed in and joined the fray, raising her sword instinctively as she approached two orcs who were bearing down on a young warden she barely knew. They were quickly beheaded from behind before Belegwen turned her attention to a crowd of orcs who were running into the melee. She raised her sword and fought the first one she came to, blocking his first two sword blows with ease. She then tripped him and ran him through with her sword once he was on the ground. As she pulled her sword back out of the orc, she screamed as another grabbed her hair and started to drag her away from the body. Belegwen awkwardly scrambled to try and maintain a grasp on Nimrodel's hilt, but felt it slip through her fingers as she narrowly dodged a heavy club she had sensed and narrowly avoided.

She was pulled back by to her feet by her hair once again. This time, Belegwen flipped around and was able to easily dodge the wooden club's second attempted blow. She pushed her fist up into the orc's nose, hearing the bones crack beneath her hand, then snatched the club from him and smacked him over the head with it until he fell.

Turning around, Belegwen went back to find Nimrodel, quickly smacking another orc over the head with the club who had dared to run in front of her. Her sword was not where she had left it, but she quickly noticed a mighty elf in a red cape wielding a sword in each hand nearby, fighting two orcs at once.

It was Haldir. Belegwen ran towards him as he took down both orcs in a matter of seconds, manuvering Nimrodel with ease in left hand while his right hand ran his own sword through an orc. Belegwen saw another orc approaching him from behind and quickly clubbed it over the head as he turned to face her, offering her sword back to her immediately as though he had been expecting her.

"Missing something?"

ooOoo

Haldir flashed a quick smile at Belegwen, who grabbed her sword from him quickly, then replaced it by putting a large wooden club into his hand. Haldir had not expected to receive the club she had been wielding, but now that he had it, he figured it was worth trying out. Without hesitation, he smashed it into a nearby orc's face, immediately knocking it unconscious.

"Thank you; this is quite useful!" He said to Belegwen, whom he could sense was battling directly behind him. He was so pleased with the results of the club that he used it once again on another orc who was running by before holding it at his side to focus on a new orc with his sword.

"I thought… you might like the weight of it." She replied slowly, sounding as if she was speaking through gritted teeth. Using his mind's eye, Haldir found he was able to look through both his own eyes and hers at the same time, giving him a view of everything going on around him. Indeed, Belegwen was struggling as a large orc was trying to force a mace upon her head, which she had temporarily blocked with Nimrodel. She was using both of her hands to brace the sword above her head, but seemed to be faltering underneath the weight of it.

Quickly, Haldir found an opening and stabbed the orc he had been battling, then turned and stabbed the orc attacking Belegwen through a hole in his armor near his chest, kicking him off his sword so he could receive another one running at him from the side.

 _"Thank you,"_ Belegwen said within his mind. Haldir did not reply though, distracted as he was with a new horde of orcs that were running his way. They were drawn to his red cape, for even in their stupidity, they knew to take out the commanding officer of the army they fought. Quickly, Haldir was finding himself in over his head. The two weapons he expertly wielded were not proving to be enough help.

Belegwen's plan opened up in his mind though and he widened his stance as she ducked under his legs deftly and surprised the horde with a strong offensive. Nimrodel flew straight and true, beheading three orcs who had not anticipated her arrival in front of him. They stood back to back, defending one another with slash after slash of their swords. Together, they kept switching sides to distract the orcs, using their mind's eye to perfect their timing with the turns.

Haldir caught a glimpse of Belegwen's savage glare as she pushed Nimrodel into the dirt, grabbed the club from him and used both hands to sling it over her head. Shouting with exertion, she threw it at a warg who was getting the better of Linros, the young warden who had been a witness at her hearing with the council. It hit the warg straight in the face, bringing a whimper from the beast's foul jowls and allowing Linros to gain the upper hand once again.

A shout came out of Haldir's own lips as a sword grazed his cheek during his moment of distraction. Immediately, he leaned away as he saw in his mind that Belegwen was using two hands and pushing her sword behind her, plunging it deeply into the orc who had nicked him.

Haldir's eyes quickly glanced at the orc's blade as it fell, checking for traces of poison. He felt relief wash over him once he could tell that it was just a normal blade.

Quickly refocusing, Haldir concentrated on fighting the orcs in front of him as well as the ones behind him, as did Belegwen. He could feel her within his mind, reading his next moves and taking action smoothly along with him. At one point, he grabbed her by the hand and they both used each other's momentum to sling one another into new battles, surprising the orcs with their speed.

Belegwen read his mind and knew exactly when to jump so that he could lean over and slash the orc she was fighting. The move took the orc unexpectedly and he was easily brought down. He read Belegwen's mind and ducked so that she could punch the orc he was fighting in the face, dazing him and making it easier for Haldir to finish him off.

Knowing she needed him to, Haldir ducked down for a moment so Belegwen could roll over his body to respond to a few more orcs that were running towards them. Once he had thoroughly taken care of the orcs he was fighting, he spiraled around her to distract the group of orcs and fought them from the opposite side, trapping them between him and Belegwen. Repeatedly, they worked with one another, two bodies moving and functioning as one among the trampled and bloodstained grass of the battlefield.

"Haldir!" She called to him at the very end of the battle and, knowing what she wanted, he had turned to boost her into the air just in time for her to land on one of the last of the running wargs. He watched as she elbowed the rider off the warg, leaving him on the ground for Haldir to run up to and kill swiftly. He then saw her reach around the beast with Nimrodel and slit its throat.

The beast bellowed loudly, rearing up and throwing Belegwen from its back. Haldir watched as she flipped off of it. At first, it had looked like she would land on her feet. At the last minute though, he could tell that Belegwen had rotated too far and then quickly adjusted herself so that she fell on her leg. She landed on her side and slid through the grass, the leg taking the majority of the blow. He could feel that it had hurt her through the bond and ran up to her.

"Are you alright?" He asked, offering her a hand up, which she took immediately. He pulled her to her feet with ease and watched her wobble a little before she started leaning on her leg that had not sustained damage. "That was not a very graceful landing."

"I am well enough," Belegwen murmured with an air of uncertainty in her voice, "Though I think my leg is going to hurt for a few days from that slide."

With the last of the orcs vanquished, they stared at each other intensely, their chests heaving heavily from exertion. Haldir had found the experience interesting, to say the least. Suddenly, Lady Galadriel's words from several months ago returned to his mind.

 _"_ _You shall train her and she will learn much from you. Together, you will have the power to elevate one another towards a greatness that neither of you could achieve alone."_

Perhaps this was the key to survival. Perhaps having Belegwen by his side at the battle would allow him to live. They were better fighters when they worked together; it had been obvious to Haldir as he fought alongside her. She had protected him when he had been unable to protect himself, as overwhelmed by orcs as he had become. He had been able to help her as well, taking charge and distracting orcs to make it easier for her to vanquish them.

The synchrony they had achieved was beautifully harmonious. He had seen what she was seeing, known what she was doing and what she planned to do next. He had planned his own actions around it. At the same time, Haldir had felt Belegwen's presence within his own mind, doing the same. They had perfected their timing, united in thought and plan, moving as if they were each in control of one singular body, rather than two.

In this moment, Haldir knew what he needed to do. He would have to convince the council to let her fight somehow. More than anything, he needed her by his side now to ensure both his own safety, as well as hers.

He would do whatever it took to get her back as marchwarden.

"Come. I will take you to Linedhel; your leg needs to be tended to soon." Haldir said, offering his arm to her and then helping her limp slowly back towards the medical cart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a fun chapter to write; I love writing action scenes! Please let me know if you enjoyed it as much as I did! Thanks for reading!
> 
> *In case you were wondering, Galadriel's quote is referenced from Chapter 8: Receiving Advise.


	41. Married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comment Queen_Lightwood! I hope everyone's enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 41: Married

"There, much better." Belegwen said as she put one final stitch into Haldir's cheek where the orc's blade had sliced it open. She originally thought Haldir had just been nicked, but upon closer inspection, Belegwen found the orc's sword had actually penetrated all the way through his cheek. It needed to be sewn back together. Using her amateur skills, Belegwen had rendered his cheek back together carefully, hoping she would be able to heal it enough that it would not leave a scar on Haldir's otherwise unmarred face.

Limping a little as she walked, Belegwen went to fetch Linedhel and have him check her work. The healer rapidly examined Haldir's cheek then said, "Yes, this will do just fine. Now you should try and use your spirit to encourage the wound to heal. You will focus energy from deep within yourself and propel it into the wound as you have seen me do several times now. It takes concentration. This is difficult to accomplish before you understand the feeling you are trying to achieve. Try it on your own for a while first. I will come and help you later, if necessary."

Linedhel rushed off to continue working with the last of the soldiers who had not yet been tended, leaving Belegwen with Haldir at the front of the healing cart. It was dark now, though the night was lit up with a few campfires, as well as several massive fires in the distance where remains of the orcs and wargs were being burnt into ashes. The smoke rising up from the bodies left an unpleasant smell lingering in the air, despite the great distance they had put between themselves and the carcasses.

Turning back to Haldir, Belegwen watched as he indicated with a pat of his hand that she should sit on the cart to take the pressure off her injured leg. Quickly hoisting herself onto the platform, Belegwen found that Haldir was at eye-level with her while standing directly in front of her, waiting for the healing she would attempt.

Gently, Belegwen lifted her hand to his cheek and placed it carefully upon the sewn up wound. Her eyes immediately met with his and she was nearly overwrought with the desire to kiss him soundly. From within his mind, she felt an identical sentiment coming from him as he smiled at her knowingly. Belegwen looked down for a moment, smiling nervously and letting out a long sigh before she looked at him once more, having gotten a better grip on her self-control.

_"_ _Perhaps it does not matter anymore. All the soldiers speculate about us now anyway."_ She mused to him within her mind.

_"_ _I agree, yet I feel a sense of propriety from us will help keep the rumors from growing out of control."_ Haldir answered back from within the confines of their shared minds.

Belegwen nodded in agreement, then shut her eyes and tried to concentrate on using the spirit within her to heal his cheek wound. She felt Haldir's mind go blank also and was thankful that he was trying to help her focus.

After a few minutes, she felt an unusual heat start to build up within her hand, which radiated onto Haldir's face. Gasping, Belegwen was surprised when the heat turned around and pulsed back into her own hand. She felt the heat pass through her body and down to her injured leg, calming the throbbing pain immediately. It then looped back through her and into his cheek, passing back and forth between them with immeasurable speed.

A few moments later, Belegwen could no longer withstand the strong power coursing through the two of them and let go, causing Haldir to grunt and stumble a bit as the healing connection was lost. "What was that?" He asked quickly, looking a bit startled and staring at her in shock.

"I know not." Belegwen answered slowly, staring down at her fingers in awe. She had managed to partially heal Haldir with her spirit and now, in turn, she felt much better herself for some reason. In fact, her leg hardly hurt at all.

What had happened just now between them?

ooOoo

Haldir eyed the fires burning in the distance as he stood watch on the edge of the camp. He was exhausted after the skirmish with the wargs, but still took his spot as a lookout, ever vigilant of the possibility that additional dangers lurked in the tall grasses surrounding them.

In his mind, he thought back to earlier when Belegwen had healed his cheek. In the past, Haldir had allowed other learning elves to practice spirit healing on him, but found himself impressed with the speed in which Belegwen had caught onto it. Usually the first few tries were not successful for a new healer. However, once she had actually concentrated, Belegwen had been able to partially heal his cheek while only holding onto him for a few seconds.

It had been an odd few seconds though. Not only had Haldir felt her healing him, but the power she had pushed into him had formed a circular conduit of sorts. He had felt her power both going into him and leaving him all at the same time. This was a sensation Haldir had never felt before and he had been healed a great many times in his life.

"So, when were you planning on telling me?" A familiar voice said from behind him, interrupting his thoughts. Internally, Haldir sighed. He had known this conversation would happen eventually.

"Bragolith," Haldir said to acknowledge him, turning sideways to see the warden approaching him. He did not reply to the inquiry, though he was certain his silence said much more than words to his childhood friend.

"Do not play your coy little game with me, brother." Bragolith said, having called Haldir his brother since long before Orophin and Rumil had been born. When they had first met as young elflings, they had been as inseparable as brothers and, if Haldir was honest with himself, he still considered Bragolith to be one of his brothers today.

Bragolith crossed his arms in front of him and leaned in to whisper quietly to him. "You know very well I speak of Belegwen. When did this happen?"

Haldir could tell he was trying not to gain the attention of the other soldiers who were standing guard near them. With an air of discomfort lingering about his persona, Haldir silently led Bragolith further away from the circle so they could speak without the fear of being overheard. In the darkness, Bragolith's grey eyes caught the light of a distant campfire and shined with intensity as they once again met his own. "Well?"

Feeling uncomfortable was an understatement for Haldir as he tried to think of the right words to tell his friend without saying too much. It was really hard for Haldir to state what had happened between him and Belegwen because he was not even certain how this had come about. He knew he could not lie to Bragolith though. He knew Haldir too well and would see right through it.

"It started when she was appointed as my second by Lady Galadriel. We spent so much time together that we… we grew fond of each other." He said, stuttering a bit at the end. Unaccustomed to talking about romantic feelings with anyone, he could feel this conversation would test and vex him more than any other he had endured recently.

"You mean she finally grew fond of you and returned your feelings. I had no idea you were still trying to pursue her after all of this time! Dearest Valar, you have loved her since before she turned 50 and finally, after all these years you have won her heart!" Bragolith exclaimed quietly, looking positively shocked with Haldir.

"I have not loved her since she was 50!" Haldir hissed, immediately denying the claim. Bragolith had hit a nerve and now unwelcome memories from his youth were flooding back into his mind. He had chosen not to dwell on them for a reason.

"You would really deny it to me of all elves, Haldir? I was there when you met her brother! I saw the look on your face when you first spoke with her. Tell me you did not fall in love with her then." Bragolith said, challenging him with his eyes to say otherwise. When Haldir said nothing in return, Bragolith had his answer and continued.

"I know you remember the day Lord Celeborn rode out to the northern border to meet with Marchwarden Annondel and brought along his young ward, leaving her on our talan to explore while they spoke in private on another one. Do you not remember what happened next?" Bragolith asked, clearly trying to bait him into admitting his feelings.

Haldir sighed as he turned away from Bragolith. In his mind, he remembered that day vividly. It had been the first time he ever laid eyes upon Belegwen. She had worn a lavender dress and was thinner than she was now, as if she had not quite grown into her adult figure just yet. She had lacked the well-defined muscles she now sported, having not yet trained a day in her life at that point. Her silver hair had been unadorned and unbraided, cascading gently down her back with a soft and smooth appearance that had made him wish he could reach out and touch it at the time.

"Yes, I remember how you tried to woo her, flirting with her repeatedly until she was terribly cross with you, though she would not admit it out loud." Haldir said, rolling his eyes as he remembered how 'friendly' Bragolith had been with ellyth in those days.

Thankfully, he had grown out of that phase quickly, marrying and having a family of his own before he turned 700 years old. Now Bragolith's elflings were fully grown, off having families of their own while he continued to serve on the border patrols as faithfully as he always had.

From behind him, Haldir could hear Bragolith chuckling lightly. "Yes, but you should thank me for it because it made her focus all of her attentions on you! After all, we both had our bows with us, but she only asked you to show yours off to her." He said with good humor in his voice.

It had been the first time Haldir had seen her smile. Belegwen had looked so serious when she first arrived on the talan, but holding his Galadhrim bow in her hands had brought her a measure of joy. She had been so beautiful in that moment as he taught her how to hold it in both resting and ready positions, his hands resting carefully upon her own for the very first time-

"You blush, brother!" Bragolith teased, having walked around to face him once again. He was no longer minding the volume of his voice, which earned him a loud shushing sound from a mortified Haldir. Bragolith quickly quieted down before replying, "The truth is evident on your face! The two of you both fell in love that day! You fell in love with Belegwen and she fell in love with your bow!"

It was true; if Belegwen had felt anything for him that day, it had not shown. Even when Lord Celeborn and Marchwarden Annondel had given him permission to help Belegwen shoot an arrow from his bow, she had not indicated any sort of affection for him, not even when his hands had wrapped around her own and helped her pull back the bowstring that was far too strong for her to manage on her own at the time.

Though Haldir was certain he had not intended it, Bragolith's words branded his heart painfully with hurtful memories he had long ago put behind him. Elves only fell in love once in a lifetime and, though he was loath to admit it, Haldir had fallen in love with Belegwen all those years ago. The feeling had not been returned though…

Not until now, more than three millennia later.

"That was a long time ago," Haldir said quietly, pain evident in his voice. Even now when it seemed so certain she loved him, he could not help but wonder if she would not accept his love. She had not loved him back then, after all. Perhaps she never fully would.

It hurt him terribly to think about it.

"Yet here you are, married to her at last. Why have you kept it a secret?" Bragolith asked quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder and gripping it firmly.

"I have not married her." Haldir replied unsteadily, the iron control he was well known for barely holding together at this point. Bragolith had a way of making him see things more clearly, but these thoughts were starting to cause fear to well up within the pit of his stomach in a way he had not felt for a long time and Haldir did not appreciate it. Still, he could not help but wonder if there was some truth to Bragolith's statement.

Is that what he had done? Had he married her a few months ago without realizing it?

"No?" Bragolith murmured, eyebrows elevated in consternation at his reply. "It certainly seemed as though you had today."

"Do not speak in riddles to me. Of what do you speak?" Haldir asked, feeling anxious over Bragolith's hypothesis. What had he done today that would give away his feelings for Belegwen so easily?

Bragolith laughed nervously, before leaning in to quietly say, "Haldir, never in my life have I seen two soldiers fight alongside one another as you did with Belegwen today. Both of you were obviously connected together through a bond. There is no other way for two elves to work together like that without words passing between them."

He drew even closer and whispered, "You knew what she would do before she even moved, Haldir, yet you dare to tell me she is not your wife? Deny it all you want brother, but I can see the truth."

"If that is what has truly happened, it… it was not what I had intended." He stuttered, feeling very uncomfortable with where this conversation was headed.

"Then what did you intend by it?" Bragolith asked, unwilling to let him end the conversation so easily. "And does not Belegwen deserve your eternal loyalty, seeing as you have bonded your body with hers?"

"I am uncertain of what Belegwen wants." Haldir admitted painfully. "This is a very complicated situation and I do not want to presume anything when it comes to her."

Bragolith's face suggested that he did not believe Haldir. However, he finally drew his interrogation to a close. "Have it your way brother, but be forewarned: the soldiers whisper of it and are starting to choose sides between the two of you. Some say you have married her in secret and forced her to take the blame for what happened in the forest. Be careful brother, for their unrest grows and there are many whose loyalties are with Belegwen."

Watching as Bragolith turned to walk away, Haldir cursed under his breath. He found himself overwhelmed with the emotions Bragolith had so effortlessly drawn out of him. He had not wanted to remember his youth and his passion for Belegwen that had been unrequited for so long, nor had he wanted to entertain the possibility that he had indeed married her without realizing it back in Caras Galadhon.

Now that he had started to think about it though, he could hardly get himself to stop.

Even more importantly, he wondered what he could do to fix the situation in the ranks that had the potential to ruin everything. He was going to need to come up with a plan, and fast, that would unite the group once again so they could concentrate on fighting the battle that awaited them at Helm's Deep.

ooOoo

"Linedhel," Belegwen said as she watched the healer putting away materials in the darkened medical cart. "Have you finished with the last of the injuries?"

"Yes, I think we can finally take a few minutes to relax." He replied slowly, trying to speak while concentrating on organizing some various tonics in vials.

"In a few minutes, perhaps," Belegwen said, feeling ill at ease as she realized she was about to give away her secret out of necessity. "I… I have something else I need you to take a look at."

"You have injuries other than your leg? Why did you not say so earlier?" Linedhel questioned, putting the vials down before walking over to her and squatting down next to her as she sat on the edge of the cart.

"This is more precautionary than an injury… I just need to be certain that all is well." Belegwen said quietly, not meeting Linedhel's eyes as he stared at her with unbridled curiosity.

"Your words confuse me Belegwen. What do you need me to examine?" He asked as his eyes gave her a quick once over, scanning for an obvious problem.

"Can I trust your discretion on this matter?" Belegwen asked quietly. "I have only discovered this today and have yet to tell anyone."

"I am well-versed in discretion Belegwen. Now please, tell me what is ailing you." Linedhel said. He watched as she closed the curtain to the cart, then drew up her robes to reveal her protruding stomach.

Linedhel gasped, much to Belegwen's dismay, before immediately walking over to her to examine her. "You went into battle like this? Have you felt discomfort since the battle? Does anything feel different?"

"No, I did not sustain any hits to my middle during the battle and nothing feels any different than it did before." Belegwen said thoughtfully, thinking deeply about the last few weeks. "I am more tired than I normally am though and perhaps a bit more hungry, now that I think about it."

"Those are normal symptoms of your condition and do not raise any concern. How long do you suspect you have been this way?" Linedhel asked, reaching for her stomach, then stopping short and meeting her eyes. "May I touch it?"

"I think I have been this way for nearly six to seven months now and yes, you may," Belegwen said, allowing him to touch where the elfling was within her. He pushed on the mass lightly in several places, then left his hand in one spot for a minute while she felt him harness power from within himself, perhaps to check on the well-being of the elfling? Belegwen was not certain what he was doing, but allowed it nonetheless.

"Hmm… well, nothing seems to be out of place and your elfling has a strong spirit about him. If you are truly that far along though, you should be a little larger than you currently are."

"Him? You know the elfling is an ellon?" Belegwen asked with a sparkle of excitement in her voice.

Linedhel smiled much more largely than usual and replied. "Yes, I can feel his spirit. It is an ellon."

Belegwen sat down and placed her robes back over her middle, then cradled it affectionately with both of her hands. "What must I do to help him get to the size he should be?"

"Starting tomorrow we will feed you two bites of lembas bread per day. One bite is enough to feed the appetite of a grown ellon, but it is not enough for a pregnant elleth. I will also start to forage for supplemental foods as we ride through the plains. With all the marching you have been doing, coupled with the elfling you feed, you have simply not been getting enough food. We can remedy that easily enough."

"What else must I do to ensure this goes well?" Belegwen asked, absently rubbing the bulge that she had quickly grown attached to.

"No more battles or sparring until the elfling has arrived." Linedhel said with a firmness in his voice that told Belegwen he meant it wholeheartedly. "You have been very lucky so far in this respect, but you must be more careful to ensure the elfling's safety. Even if you are not in a delicate state, he is. You must also get more sleep; I will send you to the back of the cart in the afternoon to nap for an hour or so. This will help you maintain your strength. If you feel any discomfort or unexpected changes to your body, you will let me know. As long as you are feeling well though, the elfling will more than likely be feeling well also."

"Yes… Very well then." Belegwen said, falling deeply into thought. This situation seemed manageable enough, though it was a bit unnerving to know that she would need to put her sword down for nearly half a year-

"Dearest Valar, look at your leg! It has already healed! Did another soldier heal it for you?" Linedhel asked, interrupting her thoughts with a voice filled with confusion. Belegwen looked down and noticed what Linedhel was staring at. Her bare legs were still sticking out of her robes and the leg that she had landed on earlier had only been partially healed by Linedhel when he examined it. When they had last looked at it, it had been riddled with dark blue and purple bruises.

However, it was no longer even slightly discolored. It looked as though her painful slide through the grass had not even happened! Belegwen had noticed the pain had went away earlier when she had healed Haldir, but had not had time to inspect it until now. It looked as good as new, though she had not tried to heal it herself!

"No, I did not have another heal it for me. However, I noticed the pain went away when I healed Haldir's cheek." She said, carefully describing to Linedhel the power that had passed between the two of them when she had used her spirit to heal his wound.

Belegwen watched as a small knowing smile from appeared on Linedhel's face while she finished her description of the power that had pulsed between them. "You know what happened then?" She asked him, watching his face carefully while waiting for an explanation.

"What you have experienced is a phenomenon that occasionally occurs between married couples who share the deepest of bonds with one another Belegwen. When an elf goes to heal another elf who shares a close bond with them, sometimes they end up healing themselves as well." Linedhel explained.

"When two bodies and minds are connected closely, they often consider one another to be an extension of themselves. Therefore, when one gets healed and the other needs healing, they are both healed together, almost as if they are a single entity, if you will."

"Wow," Belegwen whispered, in awe of what had happened. Haldir considered her to be part of himself? _"Surely this means he loves me!"_

"I must offer my congratulations Belegwen, for I did not know that you and Haldir had wed. He will surely be ecstatic to learn about the elfling you carry! I extend my wish of great joy to you both." Linedhel said, bowing before her with a hand over his heart to show the sincerity of his words.

Belegwen said nothing in return though, her mind trying to process the last thing Linedhel had said. Indeed, she had suspected this possibility for a while now. Hearing someone say it out loud made it seem even more likely though.

Perhaps she had married Haldir after all.

ooOoo

"Why do you watch her so? You know you are supposed to be keeping your distance."

Erthalion jumped in surprise before turning to see Heledhril standing behind him with a judgmental look on his face. Erthalion had the grace to look a bit embarrassed, knowing he had been caught red-handed doing something that he knew he was not supposed to be doing. Heledhril was one of a very small number of elves that were still willing to speak with him though, so he decided to be honest with him, even though he knew he was no longer in his good graces.

"I want to figure out why I did what I did Heledhril." He replied quietly, turning back to watch as Belegwen and Linedhel exited the back of the medical cart, talking quietly amongst themselves. "I want to understand this crime I have committed."

He felt Heledhril's hand grip his shoulder tightly and looked back at him to find the blonde elf studying his face intently for a moment. "I am uncertain that you should be seeking out this information. You would be better off not remembering the anger you harbored for Belegwen. It weighed heavily upon your heart then and it would not be beneficial for you to remember it now."

"If I understand the crime though, perhaps I can move on from it. I wish to right my wrongs, Heledhril." Erthalion explained. "I want to try and make things right between myself and Belegwen."

Most importantly, Erthalion wanted to move on. He hated the looks he received from other wardens whom he had counted as friends at one point, Heledhril included. If he could find a way to right the wrongs between himself and Belegwen, perhaps his other friendships could be mended as well.

Perhaps he could find some measure of hope for his own life.

"Erthalion, I will remind you once again to stay away from Belegwen. Do not give any of us reason to believe that you will approach her. It will not go well for you if you do." Heledhril said, a mild threat coming from his lips. Erthalion felt the reach of that threat deep within himself.

His friend did not trust him anymore. Nobody did.

"We will be watching you. We will not allow any harm to come to her." Another voice said from the shadows nearby. As if to reinforce his own sentiments, Rumil stepped out of the shadows and into the light of the campfire, eyeing him warily.

"You are to stay away. We will escort you to the other side of the camp and you will maintain the distance between yourself and Belegwen. Have I made myself clear?" Rumil threatened.

Erthalion sighed before answering. "Yes."

Before they escorted him away though, he looked Belegwen's way, only to catch her eye for a moment. She had seen him watching her and traces of fear appeared on her face as he was grabbed roughly by the two elves beside him and pulled away from her.

There was so much about this situation that Erthalion did not understand, though he wished to. He did not recognize the feelings that Belegwen ignited within himself when he looked at her.

Indeed, why did her look of fear bring about a feeling of satisfaction within him?

Erthalion did not know, but he intended to find out.


	42. The Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 42: The Wall

Valtaur cleared his throat before he began to speak. "I have called the council together tonight because I have had a change of heart concerning the outcome of Marchwarden Belegwen's ruling from a few weeks ago. When last we met, I had agreed that we should appoint a different second in command to serve in the battle we will fight at Helm's Deep. However, now that I have heard the opinions of many, many wardens concerning the matter, my mind has been changed."

Haldir breathed a sigh of relief internally as he watched the council members begin to whisper amongst themselves. He had spent every night for the last week speaking with several prominent and well-liked Galadhrim wardens, convincing many to go and speak with Valtaur and Esgalamon about how Belegwen should be allowed to fight at the battle of Helm's Deep. He had hoped to sway the opinion of at least one of them so the vote would lean more heavily in Belegwen's favor, allowing her to receive the status of marchwarden once again.

It had been daunting, arguing with several elves about her leadership qualities and how deserving she was of the position. He had danced around many unpleasant questions as well, all related to the rumors about their relationship. Rather than address the rumors, he had stuck to the facts about her service and her track record as both a warden and a marchwarden, trying to keep his private relationship with her out of their conversations.

He had hoped to win Belegwen back her position, but also to unite the soldiers once again. Bragolith had been right about them taking sides; Haldir had listened in on several conversations the evening Bragolith had brought the problem to his attention and had discovered the soldiers were less united than they should have been. By getting Belegwen reinstated, Haldir hoped to show the soldiers they were indeed a team and that he wanted her by his side as an equal.

So far, his plan seemed to be working. Valtaur stared at him now, knowing full and well that Haldir had sent nearly 40 soldiers to speak with him about Belegwen over the last week and would have continued to do so if he had not called the council into session tonight. As he had suspected, Valtaur was annoyed by the distraction these conversations caused him and sought to end them after a few days by changing his mind before the council. It had been an easy and effective ploy on Haldir's part.

"It is the opinion of our Galadhrim soldiers that Belegwen should be the second in command during the battle at Helm's Deep. All who have come forward speak highly of her skills and respect her judgment as a marchwarden. She is also the only one trained enough to do this job if Haldir happens to fall. Though I do not think he will, I suppose it is better to be more prepared than less. Tonight I vote to reinstate Marchwarden Belegwen for the battle, then allow the lord and lady to make a final judgment on her misdeed when we return to Caras Galadhon." Valtaur declared, looking at all of the present council members for confirmation.

"I second Valtaur's recommendation." Bragoth said, immediately stepping beside him to show solidarity.

Eregdol shook his head and stepped to the opposite side of the semi-circle the elves in the council had formed. "I vote that we do not make an exception. The warden's code was broken by Belegwen and she should face the consequences of her actions, just as any other warden would be forced to do. If her trial is meant to be in Caras Galadhon, she must wait to do her job until she is proven innocent, as our laws dictate. There are others who can be second during the battle; many amongst us are just as skilled as she."

Everyone then watched Esgalamon, who moved next to Eregdol once again to cast his vote. "Though many have come forward to speak with me about Belegwen's merit, I still believe it is best for us to wait for a verdict from the lord and lady. I have watched Haldir and Belegwen when they are together and, as I suspected before, she has proven to be a distraction to him." Esgalamon said, meeting Haldir's eyes as he frowned at him.

"We need our marchwarden to be at his best when we have this battle, which is why I vote for Belegwen to sit out of the battle, as we previously decided." Esgalamon finished. Haldir stared at him for a long while, openly upset by his words.

Did Esgalamon really think he was distracted so easily or did he want Belegwen out of her powerful position, just as Eregdol did? As marchwarden, Haldir had trained over and over again to face danger without letting distractions bother him during emergencies. If nothing else, Esgalamon did not understand how rigorously he had prepared for a moment like this, nor did he understand what Haldir was capable of during the heat of battle.

All of the council members' eyes fell on Linedhel next. He was the last elf able to vote at the council meeting tonight, as Haldir had been part of the situation with Belegwen and thusly was not allowed to cast his own vote on the matter. It was obvious Linedhel would have preferred not to be the last vote on this controversial topic, as he looked very uncomfortable to have everyone's eyes on him, waiting for his verdict expectantly. He sighed and looked at the ground for a moment before raising his saddened face up to answer.

"I am sorry Haldir, but I too have changed my mind on this matter." He said slowly, making Haldir's heart drop to the floor in defeat.

Haldir had not expected Linedhel of all elves to go against what was best for Belegwen. He had been watching the two of them together over the last few weeks and had considered Linedhel to be an ally to Belegwen, if not a mentor of sorts. He had been respectful towards her and helpful, beginning to teach her the ways of healing, which could help her in the future when she returned to the fences in Lorien. Moreover, Haldir had felt joy flowing freely from Belegwen when Linedhel had told her stories about her adar.

Why would he not agree to help Belegwen get her position back? It made no sense.

Haldir glared at Linedhel as he strolled slowly over to Esgalamon and Eregdol's side of the semi-circle, casting his vote. "May I ask why you are voting this way?" Haldir asked tensely, upset that he had overlooked something important before enacting his plan.

That was when he saw it. For a brief moment, Linedhel glanced at Belegwen with a panicked look in his eyes before staring at the ground again. Whatever it was, Belegwen knew.

"Ignore that question. May I motion that we pause these proceedings for a few minutes before continuing?" Haldir asked as he eyed Belegwen calmly. Through their bond, he felt something within her falter under his gaze.

She definitely knew something about Linedhel and Haldir was determined to figure out what it was. After Eregdol approved the pause, he walked over to Belegwen, grabbed her by the arm and then ushered her far enough away that the council members would not be able to hear their conversation.

"Tell me why he votes that way." Haldir insisted, looking darkly into her eyes as he continued to hold her arm in his iron grip. "This should be an easy win to get you reinstated, yet it is not for some reason. What do you know that I do not?"

As he gazed into Belegwen's wary blue eyes, he saw a myriad of emotions pass over her face quickly before she answered. "I think he just wants to wait for the lord and lady's verdict, Haldir. He knows they will be more fair towards me than the council."

Haldir paused, looking deeply into Belegwen's anxiety-laden eyes. He felt mildly surprised and repulsed when he realized why she seemed so uneasy with him in this moment.

"You are lying to me. What is the truth?" He asked sternly, glaring down at her and pulling her closer to him, his grip on her tight and unwavering. "Do not lie again. I can feel it through our bond. Tell me now, why is Linedhel changing his vote? What are you hiding from me Belegwen?"

Annoyed by his manhandling, Belegwen glared right back at him and then yanked her arm out of his grasp, immediately folding it over her other arm, which was across her chest. She did not answer out loud, but instead made her distaste for his questioning well-known through their bond. Haldir gasped as he was overwhelmed by the immense amount of displeasure she felt towards him.

"I seek to help you Belegwen! Why will you not allow it? Are we not past the point of secrets now? Will you not trust me?" He questioned, frustrated to his very core with her lack of faith in him.

"You do not understand Haldir-" She started to reply before being interrupted.

"So help me to understand! Tell me the truth so I can help you win your position back! I am on your side Belegwen; can you not see it? You can tell me anything and I will not think less of you, but you must tell me! I cannot help you without the information I need!"

"I seek to help you Haldir. I am helping you by doing this-"

"No, you are not!" He argued loudly, feeling so irritated with her that he could have pulled his own hair out. "Elleth, you are impossible!" He exclaimed.

Knowing that he had lost control of himself, Haldir took a few breaths before he continued again. "Can you not see that your position is all but assured to be given back? I have done this for you because I want you to fight by my side! Is that not what you want as well?" He asked emotionally.

Exasperated, Haldir was almost ready to beg her to come back as his second at this point. While he had not realized it at first, the situation with the council had taken its toll on him as well and he needed to have the situation dealt with quickly and efficiently.

He needed her back as a marchwarden.

"Will you not convince Linedhel to change his mind so we can fight together as we did with the wargs?" He asked more quietly, regaining more control over himself with every passing second. Slowly, he reached his hand out and held it open for her to accept. "I want you by my side Belegwen. You have earned your position and it is where you belong."

He did not miss the look of desperation on her face as he laid his emotions and desires out before her. She wanted what he wanted too; he could feel it radiating off her from the confines of her mind. "I do want to fight by your side, but it is not meant to be Haldir. Not this time." She whispered, grabbing his hand and squeezing it briefly before letting go.

Instantly, he felt their bond's power pulse through his hand like a lightning bolt and he knew that she finally spoke the truth. Relieved that he had finally made some headway with her, Haldir stepped closer to her and watched her intently. "Why not?"

Belegwen squeezed her eyes closed to avoid his stare and whispered, "I cannot say. Please Haldir, do not force my hand. Let me keep my secret for your own protection." She begged him, which filled his heart with unease.

"I do not need protection Belegwen." He murmured. "I need you though, as my second and as so much more." He said, taking hold of her hand one more time and stroking it a few times with his other hand before releasing it again.

"Will you not tell me your secret?" He asked one last time, this time probing her mind with his own momentarily before he felt her block him out completely, placing a barrier between their interlocked minds. He watched as her saddened figure disappeared behind a tall stone wall within his mind's eye.

Though they had only been connected in this way for a couple of months, the separation hurt. In fact, it was nearly unbearable.

"No." She answered, clearly pained by her own stubborn decision. Haldir shook his head, expressing his displeasure as his fingers curled into a fist, which he leaned his forehead against. He did not feel sorry for her though, as she would have to learn to live with the choice she made tonight.

"Very well then. I will no longer try to have you reinstated, since that is not what you want. You have chosen the worst possible time to shirk your duty though. Now that we need you most, you choose to sit out?" He asked, pausing before painfully finishing his thought. "Where is the honor in that?"

Without giving her a chance to reply, Haldir turned and walked back to dismiss the council members. He did not look back to see the expression on her face as he left her behind.

ooOoo

"You need to tell him."

Belegwen flinched, nearly dropping Nimrodel in the process, but catching it quickly before the sword got away from her. She held her beloved sword gently between her two hands and bowed her head in shame, still hurting from the wall she had erected in her mind that separated her from Haldir.

She had not seen him or spoken to him since the council meeting. It had been nearly a week now, a week filled with a horrible emptiness. How quickly she had grown accustomed to his presence in her mind, to feeling many of the things he felt and seeing his dreams as they flowed through his mind during reverie.

Now that she had shut him out though, she had nothing of him but his son. Belegwen carried the elfling with diligence, following all of Linedhel's expectations for her pregnancy, but had stubbornly refused to tell Haldir. No, she thought there was too much at stake now for Haldir to be distracted by this too. Belegwen desperately needed Haldir to stay safe and had initially felt that her silence would help him.

However, she was no longer feeling as confidently about it as she had a week prior. Surely her avoidance of Haldir was also a distraction. Belegwen hated that Esgalamon's observation seemed to be correct; Belegwen was distracting to Haldir, no matter what she did.

Inwardly, she cursed herself because of it.

"I know," she whispered back to Linedhel, whom she sensed was standing a few paces behind her. "I thought I was helping him focus on his duty by keeping this from him, but I fear I have just made everything much worse."

"Go to him and make it right then," Linedhel urged her quietly. She felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder as she continued to argue with herself from the confines of her own mind. "Apologize and tell him the truth. It is not too late to make things right."

"I fear it is. He knows I lied to him and that I block access to our bond right now." She said quietly, stepping well away from Linedhel before slowly beginning to practice with her sword again, going through her motions more slowly than she had in centuries to ensure the elfling's safety. She focused on technique instead of speed for now, moving the sword with smooth motions and expert control.

Its familiarity brought her peace as nothing else could right now. Not even Linedhel.

"He thinks I am forsaking my duty." She whispered as the pain of that particular memory returned to her. Belegwen had tried to hard not to dwell on Haldir's last words to her, but they had burned her severely. Though she had expected things like that to be said by other wardens, Haldir had never said something so disrespectful about her before. It cut deeply that he did now.

Haldir's opinion mattered to her and now she had sullied it with her own stubbornness and secret keeping. What had she done? Had she ruined everything between them in her attempt to protect him?

What a fool she was indeed.

"He is wrong though," insisted Linedhel's voice once again, urging her once more to speak with Haldir. "When you tell him, he will understand. He will want you to sit the battle out once he knows. He would never expect you to fight this way; no one does."

Perhaps Linedhel was right. Perhaps telling Haldir would be the lesser distraction.

"Here, eat these while you are stopped." Linedhel said, holding out a small bowl of blackberries to her.

Sighing, Belegwen pushed Nimrodel into the soil and then sat down on the hilt, taking the bowl from Linedhel's hand reluctantly. Since Linedhel had found out she was too small for where she was in her pregnancy last week, he had been plying her with extra servings of food and had started measuring her middle every few days to track their progress.

Belegwen was not hungry, but still ate the berries with the hopes that it would do the elfling some good. She would have to trust Linedhel's judgment on this, as she had no idea what she needed to have a healthy pregnancy.

"I think you will have me bursting out of these robes within a few weeks," Belegwen joked as she handed the empty bowl back to Linedhel with a chuckle.

"That is the idea," he replied, touching her arm for a moment and looking at her with a small smile. "Do not forget to go and find Haldir tonight. You will feel better once you have told him." He reminded her, then turned and started to walk back towards the medical cart.

Picking up her sword once again, Belegwen went back to working on her technique as she had often done with her advanced sword class. They would practice motions slowly, until muscle memory was achieved and it became second nature. Once they were confident, Belegwen would have the wardens speed up their motions and then try them out in sparring matches with partners.

Since no one was around, Belegwen closed her eyes and pictured her adar, Belegond, standing in front of her, poised in a ready position with his sword. Belegwen had never gotten to spar or practice the sword with her adar; he had passed away before she was of an age to safely handle weapons. She liked to imagine what it would be like to battle him using his own techniques though.

She found herself thinking about him more and more as the days passed by, surely influenced by the influx of stories she heard about him from Linedhel. Belegond was now often on her mind and in her heart, bringing both joy and sorrow to her in a confusing mixture of emotions that were tied up within her, just begging to escape from her iron control over them.

Belegwen could not stop thinking about the very first story Linedhel had told her while she had hidden under his cart. Belegond had thought she would be like him and had named her after himself because of it. Belegwen could not help but wonder if she was living up to his name or not. Had she become like her adar?

Would he be proud to find out who she had become today?

Nearly overflowing with emotion, Belegwen left her eyes closed and started to slowly mimic the movements her adar modeled for her within her mind. Balance, grace, intellect, and a penchant for the unexpected had been most prominent parts of his sword training journal. Belegwen was great at harnessing all four of these qualities into her motions, slashing her sword on both high and low planes in front of her. She practiced using a natural smoothness of motion and planned ahead for her next move before it was necessary. She mimicked his movements as she pictured Belegond modeling them for her until her sword hit something hard with a loud crack.

Immediately, her eyes were wide open and she found herself staring at Heledhril, who was grinning at her as he held his own sword against Nimrodel in the air above their heads. Belegwen slowly slid Nimrodel off his sword, then pushed it into the dirt and leaned forward on it as Heledhril held his own sword in his two hands while staring at her.

"Marchwarden," he greeted her amiably, "May I join your training session?"

Belegwen chucked darkly to herself before answering. "There is no marchwarden here Heledhril. You should not be here since I have been disgraced. I do not want you to be guilty by association."

Heledhril shook his head and rolled his eyes at this, his straw-colored hair falling away from his shoulders as he moved. "You will always be a marchwarden to me, Belegwen. You are also not disgraced, but merely waylaid from your duty. Surely you would not deny me the opportunity to work with Caras Galadhon's premier swordsmanship teacher though. I do not think either of us can get in trouble from this anyway. You are not demanding it from me or ordering me around; I have requested it."

Weighing out the options, Belegwen decided that she did not have much to lose in continuing to teach Heledhril. After all, he had come to her, not vice versa. Plus, it would be nice to feel useful again, even if this was just for a short while.

"Very well then, I will teach you tonight. However, we will only work on technique. I will not be sparring because it draws too much unwanted attention to me at the moment." She said, firmly drawing a line for him about what she would and would not be willing to do tonight.

Belegwen then set about guiding Heledhril's dominant arm through a series of exercises, carefully describing the angles and motions she desired for him to mimic before she watched him practice them repeatedly, offering what advice she could to help him achieve the smoothest and most natural feeling motions. After working with Heledhril for an hour, she sent him away, left Nimrodel in the healing cart, and then quietly began to walk around the darkened camp alone, searching for Haldir.

ooOoo

Haldir sighed and rubbed his tired face with frustration. It had taken him three days to find a replacement for Belegwen as his second. Three days! He had asked nearly 15 different wardens before one had agreed. He was not at all thrilled with the situation, as Gilhoth, the first ellon to tell him yes, was not nearly as skilled or prepared as several of the other wardens he had asked beforehand.

All of them had turned him down though and he had to appoint someone.

His first choice had been Heledhril, though he had suspected the noble young ellon would say no. Indeed, Haldir was well aware that Belegwen had been privately tutoring him on swordsmanship and thusly, Heledhril found himself unable to take her place. Haldir frowned as he remembered the answer he had gotten to his query:

 _"_ _Marchwarden, I am honored that you would consider me for such a high position, but I cannot take Marchwarden Belegwen's place. She is still most deserving of her position and it is being taken away from her unfairly. It would not be honorable to receive her title in this manner. I am sorry, but I must pass."_

Haldir had gotten similar reactions from several other long-serving wardens. This was a consequence of his own making, as Belegwen had taught the advanced swordplay class, which contained several of the most highly qualified wardens. All who had Belegwen as their teacher held her in high esteem and were too honorable to take her position away from her.

To Haldir, this was both an exciting and annoying predicament to be in. All of his work with Belegwen to gain the allegiances of the wardens had worked, though it was now to his detriment as no one was willing to take up her mantle.

Even several elves he knew were not closely associated with Belegwen had refused the spot because they knew what Haldir was asking of them; he knew it was terribly unfair. Haldir hated that he had to find someone with no experience to potentially take over for him in the event of his untimely death at Helm's Deep.

If Haldir did die, the ellon who took up the position would be expected to perform as he had, but with no experience to back him up…

It was a suicide mission, if ever there was one.

Yet, one brave soul had finally stepped up to the challenge. Gilhoth was an older elf, one who had served as a warden for nearly 3,000 years at this point. While he was not particularly talented with weaponry or fighting, he could often see things other elves could not, was always reliable, and was respected by the other wardens. Most importantly, he was brave, almost to a fault, which made him a good candidate for the opening.

Haldir prayed to Eru Iluvatar that it would not come to that though. If the well being of the Lothlorien and Imladris elves fell into Gilhoth's hands, Haldir knew that outcome would not be good. Gilhoth would certainly rise to the occasion and try his best, of this Haldir had not doubt. He would not be prepared for the task in time though. Ever the realist, Haldir knew that no matter what he taught Gilhoth in the next week, he would not have enough experience to do the job well.

Only Belegwen had what it took at this point to successfully take his place during the battle, and Haldir would only consider her prepared minimally, having been trained for less than a year. She was only barely ready for such a thing.

Yet, for some reason, it would not be her.

Haldir cursed under his breath while he vigilantly scanned the tall grass for danger under the cover of the starlit heavens that seemed to span on and on, as far as the eye could see. Haldir was upset because he could not get Belegwen, who was now apparently his wife, out of his mind.

Oh, how infuriating she was at times! Haldir could not believe she had the gall to lie to him like that after all they had been through together. Why could she not trust him with the truth? Now she also blocked their bond with a wall, refusing to allow him to feel her presence within himself. He had quickly grown accustomed to her presence within his mind and felt ill at ease without the ever-present reassurance of her health and safety.

Haldir drew in a sharp inhale as his head turned quickly to the left. Some of the tall grasses near him rustled in the breeze, unnerving him and some of the soldiers who were near him. Their eyes were intently trained on the fields. All of them knew these would be ideal conditions for the enemy to sneak up unannounced.

Haldir was appeased to see so many soldiers who were alert and watching attentively tonight. They needed to stay safe, as they were only a week away from arriving at their destination. He would hate to come all this way, only to fall before reaching Helm's Deep.

Suddenly, he felt a slight inkling of something happening inside of his mind. As he took awareness within his mind's eye, Haldir felt discomfort and realized that something was changing behind the wall Belegwen had put up to separate them. It was the first thing he had felt from her in a week and whatever it was, it did not seem good.

Despite the wall, he could sense something was wrong with Belegwen; he could feel it all the way down to his bones. There was a nervous energy about her, as if something had been overlooked and forgotten… Something of importance.

Even the thick stone wall between them could not keep these intense feelings of hers at bay and that worried him. Haldir quickly turned away from his post and sped into the camp to find her, starting to run as he felt the mysterious problem grow in urgency.

ooOoo

Belegwen had felt his eyes on her before she had caught sight of him.

She had felt uncomfortable the other day when she had caught him staring at her, but Heledhril and Rumil had dragged him away before anything could come of the situation. For the first time in a long time though, Belegwen had started to cross the camp full of sleeping wardens on her own and had forgotten the risk it posed. Her mind was so focused on trying to find Haldir in the circle of guards that she had not realized what was happening until it was too late.

Erthalion was behind her now, following her, albeit at a distance. Still, Belegwen felt frightened because he was supposed to stay away from her, yet he no longer seemed very concerned about that. He was growing bolder with every passing day, having gone from staring at her from time to time to now following her across the camp.

Glancing over her shoulder, Belgwen could see that he was starting to gain ground. She started to walk faster, making a quick beeline towards the healer's cart with the hopes that Linedhel would be inside. Upon pulling back the curtain, she found it deserted. Cursing her luck, she started to walk towards another cart only to gasp when she felt a strong hand grab onto her wrist.

"Belegwen, I wish to speak with you," Erthalion said, gripping her wrist tightly. When she looked into his eyes, she immediately felt herself transported back to the woods by the training field within the confines of her mind. The memory of his threats invaded her mind once again.

_"Well, here she is, the newest marchwarden of Lothlorien. The wardens have said many good things about you recently, but I think you have them all deceived." He said connivingly, then leaned in close to her ear and whispered to her with a dangerously low voice, "You do not appear to be at all brave or strong to me."_

_She felt a burst of fear within herself as she remembered how he had pushed her wrists painfully against the bark of a mallorn tree, bruising them with his use of excessive force._

_"They hail you some sort of a hero, but I know better. You are no hero at all, just an elleth who wishes to be someone she is not!"_

_His breath had been hot and unwelcome against her cheek. She had tried so hard to get away from him that day, but was not physically strong enough. She could not even do anything about it when she had felt his lips dragging uncomfortably against her ear as he whispered threats to her; he was entirely too close to her body without her consent._

_"You are a nobody and there is nothing of worth that you can offer the wardens. Nothing."_

_His words had stung her nearly as badly as her wrists did at that point._

_"Stop it. Let go." She heard herself whimper in the back of her mind. She had been so weak, so unable to control the situation..._

_Mentally, Belegwen cursed herself for being unable to take control her circumstances as she should have. Instead, she was incapacitated and pitiful._

_Then he had angrily pushed her whole body against the tree, shooting pain through her wrists, back, and head as they violently connected with the bark._

_"They will realize how worthless you are soon though, mark my words."_

Belegwen suddenly realized that she was frozen with fear, trapped in her memory of the abuse that had haunted her mind for months. She had to take control somehow! She could not let this happen to her again!

"Let go of me!" She exclaimed, twisting herself painfully to pull her arm away from his forceful grasp. Once successfully free of his grasp, she backed away from him quickly and called out, "Stay away from me! Leave now!"

He did not listen though, stepping towards her once again with his arm extended to grab her. Belegwen turned around to run away, only to come into contact with an elf that came running towards her from behind the cart. She shouted as she slammed into his armor-covered body forcefully, immediately falling backwards to the ground with a grunt.

Slightly dazed from sustaining such a powerful blow, Belegwen looked up to see the elf offering his hand to help her up. Immediately, she noticed how beautiful his hair was in the moonlight, as if sunlight was trapped within each and every strand. In her dizziness, she could tell his eyes looked familiar, if not worried about what had just happened. Shaking her head for a moment, Belegwen's vision finally came back into focus and she shivered as she clearly saw who had come to her assistance. Scared about what would happen next, she could barely bring herself to whisper his name out loud.

"Haldir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Belegwen's memory of Erthalion at the end of this chapter comes from Chapter 21: Intimidation.


	43. Love and Loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're now celebrating 1,000+ hits on the story! Thanks guys, I appreciate all the kudos and support! Today's chapter is one of my absolute favorites from this fanfic. I hope you enjoy it too!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 43: Love and Loyalty

Haldir's attention rested on Belegwen first, as he had inadvertently knocked her over when he ran around the cart after hearing her voice carrying through the night. Belegwen's head had banged into the shoulder of his armor forcefully, leaving her lying on the ground with a bloody nose, unaware of her surroundings. It took her a few moments to recover before she seemed to realize he was standing in front of her.

He was uncertain if she even saw the other five soldiers who had followed him after they heard her shout. They kept their distance though, giving her room to breathe and pull herself back together.

She whispered his name and then gingerly grasped the hand he offered her. Haldir easily pulled her to her feet and then grasped her upper arms to steady her when she tottered a bit. He gave her a quick once over to reassure himself that she was still in one piece.

"Has he injured you?" He asked her discreetly, after accepting a cloth handkerchief from a nearby warden and pressing it to her nose gently, carefully dabbing away the blood from her face as she stared into his eyes with obvious relief.

"Just my wrist," she murmured, lifting it up for Haldir to see the beginnings of bruises forming where Erthalion had grabbed her violently. Upon seeing this, Haldir's pulse started to quicken, but he held his anger in check as best he could at the sight of her discolored skin.

"Rumil," he said, gently guiding her towards his brother with one hand resting on her upper back and the other still holding the handkerchief to her nose, "Take care of her for a moment."

He helped his brother carefully take the handkerchief from his fingers, then let go of Belegwen as Rumil took his place beside her and wrapped his arm around her middle. Haldir noticed an odd look pass between the two of them as Rumil started to lead her away from the crowd. He did not have time to dwell on it though, as there were other much more pressing matters to be dealt with.

Now his gaze turned to Erthalion. The dark-haired elf stared back at him with no trace remorse in his expression. Something inside of Haldir shattered at the sight of him and before he realized the extent of his own rage, he had already slammed his fist into Erthalion's face. The elf looked shocked as he fell to the ground, emitting a moan of pain as he cradled his face in his hands. Haldir did not give him time to recover, but immediately picked him up by the collar of his armor and lifted his marred face next to his own to confront him.

"So it was you who bruised her wrists in Caras Galadhon." He mused with a dangerously low tone to his voice.

The image of it was now fresh in Haldir's mind, having seen Belegwen's memory of Erthalion's abuse through their bond. Though Belegwen's wall was still in place to separate their connected minds, several feelings and memories had escaped the perimeter when she had grown fearful. Back when he had seen her bruised wrists in person, Haldir had blamed himself and thought he had inadvertently hurt her during intimacy, but it had been Erthalion's doing all along.

The thought of Erthalion injuring Belegwen repeatedly had brought Haldir to the brink of what he could handle as an ellon. Haldir found himself struggling to maintain control of his emotions, though his position as marchwarden dictated that he must. The thought of taking revenge on Erthalion in this moment seemed so perfect, yet he knew it was not a path he could venture down.

Not while remaining honorable, anyway.

"You have purposefully injured her on at least three occasions now. Are there any other instances I should know about, traitor?" He asked with a dark voice, staring at Erthalion with disgust and loathing.

"I know not of what you speak," he replied in a strained voice, though his eyes gleamed with some sort of sick joy, as if this was a game to him. How much did he remember, but not say aloud?

"Have it your way," Haldir hissed, then let him drop unceremoniously to the ground with a loud thump. "You have been warned about this by my wardens on several occasions during this trip, but your behavior still persists. By my decree, you are no longer allowed to be alone at any time during the day or night. I will make a schedule and have a soldier guarding you at all times. Never again will you approach Belegwen for any reason. Have I made myself clear?"

Erthalion did not answer, but met his eyes with a look that clearly challenged Haldir's authority. Losing his cool once more, Haldir grabbed him up and pulled his deformed ear close to his mouth. "If I ever see you lay a hand on Belegwen again, I will feel no remorse for you as I wash your blood from my hands." He threatened, his voice barely a whisper in the night.

The meaning of his threat was obvious and Haldir felt satisfied when he saw an angry flush appear across Erthalion's cheeks. Once again he asked, "Have I made myself clear Erthalion?"

This time, Erthalion replied with a nod before Haldir pushed him to the ground once more, cursing out loud as he realized that he had completely lost control of himself repeatedly. It took him several moments to regain his self-control, but when he did it was lasting.

Haldir was finally able to move past his anger and face his new task. After deciding which of the remaining wardens would watch Erthalion for the last few hours of the night, Haldir left quickly to go and find Rumil and Belegwen.

ooOoo

"Does Haldir know?" Rumil finally asked quietly, interrupting what had been the longest and most awkward silence the two friends had ever endured together. He waited patiently for her answer, continuing to dab at her nose with the handkerchief Haldir had passed to him.

Rumil had discovered the elfling when he put his arm around Belegwen's middle to lead her away from Erthalion. The life growing within her was undeniable and though she had not meant for Rumil to find out, Belegwen now felt as though she owed him some sort of explanation.

"Not yet," she answered, stealing the handkerchief away from him to wipe her nose more vigorously before shoving the bloody fabric into the pocket of her robes. "I had hoped to tell him tonight, but Erthalion found me first."

Belegwen shivered as she thought about what might have happened if Haldir had not come when he did. Erthalion had handled her roughly and if she had needed to fight him off, the elfling could have been injured. She cringed at the thought, once again getting tangled in the web of painful memories Erthalion had spun for her.

Rumil must have been aware of what she was thinking though because he grabbed her chin and brought her back into the present with an intense look from his deep blue eyes. They were so reminiscent of Haldir's eyes; Belegwen found them comforting and reassuring.

"Belegwen, stop thinking of it. Do not allow him to have control over you. It is over now and it will never happen again. Haldir will not allow it, nor will I." He promised as he rested his hands gently on her shoulders.

His words were a vow of protection that she both loved and hated all at once. While she loved how much Rumil cared about her, she hated the situation for being so deeply out of her control that she needed him and Haldir to take care of this on her behalf.

Why was she not strong enough to deal with this on her own? She hated herself for being so weak when it came to Erthalion. Rumil was right; she did allow Erthalion to wield a certain amount of power over her, but Belegwen did not know how to fix the problem. She could not stop feeling fear every time he was around her, the memory of him hurting her and strangling her was never far behind the familiar glint of his green eyes. To this day, the memory of the sea calling out to her during his harrowing attack haunted her thoughts and dreams.

What could she do to overcome the insurmountable pain he had created within her?

The pain and embarrassment of the whole thing lingered on inside her, even when Rumil wrapped her in his strong arms, holding her to try and bring her some measure of comfort. While Belegwen appreciated his efforts, she knew she would not find reassurance from him.

She needed Haldir.

It was several more minutes before he came to find her. Belegwen was still silently leaning into Rumil when she sensed his presence. Immediately, his shadow towered over them, darkening the light of the full moon that glowed above them.

Belegwen slowly turned to face him, suddenly filled with an odd combination of anxiety and expectation. She half expected a jealous reaction from him, as she knew he was bothered by her friendship with Rumil, but was surprised to find that he did not seem upset by their embrace tonight.

What had changed between them that gave him such confidence now?

Once she met his gaze, she found herself speechless, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Rumil and the rest of the camp fell away, leaving her with him alone in a moment that seemed to stretch on forever. Her breath caught in her throat as he reached out and touched her elbow with a tenderness he reserved for her and her alone.

"Rumil, the watch has been changed for the night. You may go take your rest." He said, though his eyes never left Belegwen's face.

"Very well," she heard Rumil say distantly, then felt his lips place a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Good luck gwathel." He whispered to her and then was gone, leaving her alone under Haldir's intense scrutiny.

Haldir did not tarry, taking her arm more gently than ever before and walking her back to the healing cart. The place where several elves had been congregated a few minutes earlier was now deserted.

Belegwen turned to face him once again, only to be surprised when she felt his hands reach under her thighs and boost her up so that she was sitting on the floor of the cart. He stepped closer to her then, his armored body standing intimately between her parted knees. She was very aware of how his strong hands lingered on her thighs protectively. He was so close to her that she felt overwhelmed by his presence; his warm breath caressed her cheek as he looked her over carefully.

"You are certain you are alright?" He asked quietly, stroking the tops of her arms, then moving one of his hands to cradle the underside of her chin when she looked away from him, guiding her stare back to the all-consuming gaze that he demanded of her.

Belegwen nodded, feeling her ability to speak quickly leaving her underneath the intensity of his stare and the emotions she felt flowing from him. Though the wall separating their minds was still up, it was not blocking out very much anymore. She could feel his immense concern for her welfare mingled with something that could only be considered a deeply rooted affection for her…

It was love.

She was feeling his love for her.

The wall could not contain it, so very powerful it was.

Haldir loved her even though he did not say it out loud. She could feel it, so strong and true; it was all-encompassing and consuming, overwhelming. There was no stopping it, these feelings he had for her. They were unchanging and unwavering, perfectly beautiful in every possible way.

Belegwen stared at him in awe as she finally felt assured of his love and loyalty towards her. She was everything to him. The feelings coming from him were just as heartfelt and strong as her feelings of love for him. Was he allowing her to feel his love on purpose or on accident? Belegwen was uncertain, but basked in the glow of the feeling anyway.

"Why were you wandering the camp by yourself tonight?" He asked softly, concern gleaming in his cerulean eyes as he met her gaze, seeking answers.

"I… I was trying to find you." Belegwen answered quietly, flushing lightly with embarrassment over the whole ordeal. "I needed to speak with you privately."

Haldir looked as though his curiosity had been piqued. "I am here now. What do you need to speak with me about Belegwen?"

She felt her jaw quiver as she braced herself to finally tell him what was happening. There was still a tiny, inextricable part of her that feared what he would say, as if he might retract everything between them if he did not receive her news well.

"Belegwen, please," he urged her, sensing that what she was about to say was important. "You can tell me anything. Whatever it is, I want you to share it with me."

He knew that she was finally ready to tell him about the secret and she saw sincerity in his deep blue eyes as she studied them. He was so unguarded in this moment; Belegwen could hardly believe how open he was being with her and how much he seemed to have changed recently.

"Haldir… I… I know we have never discussed this before, but I… I am expecting." She finally brought herself to say from under the intense scrutiny of his persona. Her voice was so quiet, she almost wondered if he heard her at first.

His confused look told her that she was heard though. "Expecting? Expecting what?"

Belegwen had thought she was being clear, but apparently her words had been too vague. "An elfling, Haldir," she whispered cautiously, staring into his eyes to gauge his reaction. "I am expecting an elfling."

Shocked was not a strong enough word to describe the look on Haldir's face when her words sunk in after a few long moments of silence. He was absolutely dumbfounded at first, with his eyebrows elevating nearly all the way to his hairline and his mouth hanging open in a way Belegwen had never seen before. His eyes stayed glued to hers, though he blinked several times in succession as he tried to make sense of this new revelation within his mind.

"You are certain? You and I… We…" He stuttered, reasoning out loud awkwardly. Belegwen merely nodded, then guided his hands off her upper body and slowly brought them down to rest on her middle so he could feel the inextricable proof of her claim.

"Oh dear Vala." He whispered, staring openly at her middle as he gently held where the elfling grew within her. "You wanted this? I did not know you wanted this…" He said, trailing off as he stared into her eyes with mild panic.

"Yes, I wanted this." Belegwen whispered after a few moments, feeling very exposed now that she had admitted one of her biggest secrets out loud. "Did you want this too?"

Haldir stared into her eyes, at once seeing the anxiety and uncertainty that was plaguing her. "Oh Belegwen, how could I not? I wish to have everything I previously deemed impossible now that I have you. Even as you show me this, I can hardly believe it is real." He said as he caressed her midsection, pausing for a moment before continuing.

"I did not think this would ever happen to me." Haldir confessed, looking down for a moment in shame before meeting her eyes again. "You bless me tonight Belegwen, more than you could possibly know."

"You are pleased?" She asked cautiously, still not feeling fully certain after having been concerned about the situation for the last week.

"More than pleased." He answered with the most beautiful of smiles, then wrapped his warm hands tenderly behind her neck and kissed her deeply. "Ecstatic, joyous, and most definitely in awe." He whispered against her lips, before drawing her back into his amorous kiss once more.

Belegwen was momentarily shocked that he would kiss her out in the open like this, but then soon became so enthralled in the pleasure of his lips melding against her own that all conscious thought left her. There was nothing left in the world but her and Haldir, coming together in the most special of moments.

When Haldir finally broke away from her, he was breathing heavily. His desire-filled eyes met hers with ferocity before his heated words came to her as a whisper within her mind, _"Get into the cart and tie the back door shut."_

Having left reason behind a few minutes ago, Belegwen nodded and scooted herself back until she was inside the medical cart. She was confused when Haldir did not follow, but disappeared around the side. Still, she did as he said and got on her knees to tie cloth door of the wagon closed.

When Belegwen stood up, she gasped as she felt his arms immediately draw her backwards against his cold armor so he could embrace her tightly. This earned a nearly silent shushing sound from Haldir, who held her close and started kissing her neck passionately as his hands slowly caressed her down the front of her body.

_"_ _Do not make a sound or we will draw attention to ourselves."_ He whispered in her mind as warmth quickly blossomed throughout her entire being, drawn from the tingling trail of his lips and his strong, wandering hands. His touches were warm and gentle, absolute perfection to Belegwen.

Desiring to touch more of his body, Belegwen quickly flipped around and together, using the stealth they had practiced on the training grounds for years as wardens, they silently freed Haldir from piece after piece of his armor until he was left only in his tight black breaches and undershirt. Those were both also quickly discarded, followed by the tan healing robes Belegwen was wearing.

The two gasped as their unencumbered bodies touched once again, both burning for each other. Their touches were heated and they quickly lost control of themselves, using every last drop of will-power they had to stay silent during one another's ministrations.

At last, Haldir sat down on the cart's floor, leaning his weight against the wooden cabinets and then quickly drew Belegwen on top of his lap. She bit her lip to prevent herself from moaning as he guided her legs around his waist before taking her once again.

An unusual combination of Haldir's emotions mingled with Belegwen's as he gently made love to her, working quickly because they both were concerned about being discovered. Love and joy shone brightly from his being, but there was also an outlying feeling of despair and hopelessness that creeped in around the edges of his heart, ever so slightly tainting the moment. Still, Belegwen could not help but rejoice in the word that lingered in his mind as they allowed their bodies to be swept way into uncontrolled ecstasy.

_"_ _Hervess,"_ he had called her within his mind's eye as he found consummation in her warm embrace.

_Wife_.

ooOoo

Haldir worked hard to stay silent as he slowly calmed his breathing, still holding Belegwen firmly against his chest. Hidden deep within the darkness of the sealed up healing cart, he clutched her tightly to his being as if he would never again let her go. Indeed, he would not if he could help it. Part of him wished this perfect moment could linger on forever.

For the life of him, Haldir could not seem to stay mad at Belegwen. Though she had lied to him, the minute she had been in trouble, he had immediately worried and rushed to her side, all traces of anger forgotten. Belegwen was too important to him for some stupid lie to result in them parting ways with one another. Haldir loved her too much to leave her unprotected and knew in his heart that he would do everything in his power to save her when necessary...

...and he knew this feeling he had for her would last forever.

Gone were the days when he had held Belegwen at arm's length as well, trying to protect her from himself. Internally, he frowned at himself now for having bothered to try at all. It had all been folly. He had desperately tried to keep her away so that he would not drag her with him into death during the battle.

It had all been for naught. Belegwen was already deeply entwined in his heart, mind, and soul. The two of them had loved each other so greatly that they had willed a whole new elf into being, during a time of unrest and war, no less!

There would be no stopping fate now. He could not control what would happen to Belegwen, as much as he had sought to try. Haldir could now only hope that she was strong enough to survive on her own if he should fall. The thought of him dragging her with him to Mandos with the elfling in tow was heartwrenching and unbearable.

He could not let that happen. He was going to have to survive this somehow.

_"_ _You are changed tonight,"_ he heard Belegwen say within his mind, rousing him from his despairing thoughts and back into the present moment. He looked down and smiled lightly at her, happy to once again roam freely within her mind.

Haldir was not certain of exactly when, but at some point during their lovemaking the wall had simply disappeared and he had been nearly overwrought by her emotions and thoughts as they came flooding back into his mind. Now he basked in the glow of their bonded unity once more, feeling connected to her in every possible way.

_"_ _Perhaps I am,"_ he replied, stroking the side of her face lovingly before pressing a kiss to her forehead. _"Does it bother you?"_

_"_ _No. I like it,"_ she murmured in his mind as her fingers traced the chiseled lines of his chest and abdomen idly while she watched him. _"I only seek to understand what has brought this about."_

_"_ _You, Belegwen."_ He thought with a laugh. _"It is you that has brought this about. Since we shared that moment in the forest, you have shown me great loyalty in your words and actions. I only wish to show you that I feel the same way."_

Belegwen smiled brightly back at him, her blue eyes glowing in the bit of dim light that managed to pass through the white cloth exterior of the wagon's cover. She grabbed the back of his golden head and pulled him down for another kiss before saying, _"You are going to be an adar."_

_"_ _And you a naneth,"_ he answered sweetly. _"I cannot wait to meet this new little ellon."_

_"_ _How did you know it was an ellon?"_ Belegwen questioned, looking up at him with obvious surprise. _"Did you see it in my mind?"_

_"_ _No,"_ he said with a laugh. _"I just knew. My family line has not produced a single elleth in more than five generations now. I drew a simple conclusion based upon my family history."_

_"_ _Well, you are correct in your assumption, for Linedhel told me it was an ellon and that all is going well so far."_ He heard her answer as he reached down to feel her stomach once more, still marveling at the life contained within her.

_"_ _That is why he changed his vote. I understand now, though I wish you had told me sooner."_ Haldir said calmly.

_"_ _I am sorry Haldir. I did want you to know, but I only thought to wait until after the battle. Your mind has been so distracted recently that I did not with to add to your internal conflict."_ Belegwen said, caressing the strong line of his jawbone. _"I worry about you sometimes. I do not want to be the reason you are injured."_

_"_ _And I am sorry for what I said to you last week. Protecting an elfling from harm is most honorable. I would not have implied that you were not if had I known."_ Haldir said as he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her even closer to him, wanting to touch more of her during what little time they had left to spend together. _"I would have you stay close to Linedhel during the battle and assist him rather than fight. Will you do this?"_ He asked.

_"_ _I suppose it would probably be for the best."_ She replied.

_"_ _Very good,"_ he said, then gasped as he felt something unusual against his abdomen. Looking down, he saw Belegwen's abdomen ripple once, then again a few seconds later.

_"_ _He moves within me,"_ Belegwen whispered in his head, meeting his eyes with a look of surprise. _"It is the first time I have felt it."_

All four of their hands soon rested on her abdomen, waiting to see if they could feel the ellon move once again. They were not disappointed and soon felt the movement once more, both gasping in one another's mind as they felt it simultaneously.

_"_ _I think he is excited to meet his ada,"_ Belegwen said as she started to stand up, only to be pulled unceremoniously back into Haldir's lap.

_"_ _Belegwen… I…"_ He started, then paused as he became anxious once again.

In his heart, Haldir knew what he needed to say to Belegwen, but now that the perfect time had come, he was once again wordless. His fear seemed to always hold him back from doing what was right by her. How she could still care for him when he could not seem to utter those three most important of words?

_"_ _I… I wanted you to know that you are the only elf for me as well,"_ he started, returning her meaningful sentiment from the day they got in trouble in the forest together. It seemed like such a small admission now that he had discovered her secret; to him though, this was a huge admittance. Haldir had loved Belegwen for over three millennia, just as Bragolith had reminded him, which made this an admission of epic proportions for him. It was one he had hardly even made to himself. _"And I… You… mean the world to me."_

Inwardly, Haldir cursed himself for being unable to say it yet again. He was absolutely terrible at making declarations! As if sensing his internal anguish, Belegwen gently stroked his hair and gave him a peck on his cheek. _"Let us get dressed now before someone sees."_

They dressed in complete silence, Belegwen once again helping Haldir put his armor on before sitting on a small stool to finish pulling out what was left of her hairdo. Haldir had shoved his hands into her hair with such vigor in the past hour that many of the fancy braids had come unwoven.

_"_ _It will soon be time for me to start the marches again,"_ Haldir said, facing Belegwen as she ran her hands through her silvery locks to remove the final remnants of the braids.

Belegwen frowned as she looked him over. _"You have not gotten any sleep tonight."_

_"_ _Some things are more important than sleep,"_ he replied, taking her face between his hands once more. _"We needed this,"_ he whispered in her mind, then kissed her slowly, savoring the taste of her mouth brushing gently against his own.

_"_ _Yes,"_ she conceded with a nod, _"I think we did."_

_"_ _I will come and check on you tonight. You will let me know if you are in need of anything or if Erthalion comes around again."_ He said, more as a statement than as a question.

_"_ _I will."_ Belegwen answered. With one final kiss, Haldir drew away from Belegwen and left the healing cart, feeling much lighter than he had in weeks.

If any elves had noticed the tryst shared between the two marchwardens, they chose not to say anything of it.


	44. Uncertain Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there TBFF fans! I wanted to warn you in advance that I will start to take a few liberties with the plotline in this chapter and the ones that follow. That is the beauty of writing a fanfic; anything and everything becomes possible to the author. This is an A/U Movieverse fanfic, so anything can happen at this point. 
> 
> As you read the next few chapters, I would ask you to keep one thing in mind: the story isn't over until it's over. Keep reading, even if you encounter something unpleasant because you never know what I might have up my sleeve next. There are plenty of surprises in store and I am eager to share them.
> 
> Please enjoy my interpretation of Tolkien's wonderful world.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 44: Uncertain Future

"Gwathel," Rumil said as he approached Belegwen, who was standing beside the healing cart. Her silver hair was unbraided and beautiful, blowing in the breezes of the plains while she inspected something in the distance.

He could tell by the uncomfortable look on Belegwen's face that she was all too aware that his name for her had changed, though Rumil had been careful not to use that particular word when others were listening in. Now that he knew about the elfling she carried, Belegwen no longer had a way to hide what had taken place between her and Haldir. After all, an elfling could only be created when two elves loved one another and both desired to have one together. Therefore, Rumil had concluded that the two of them must have loved one another deeply for this miracle to have occurred.

Feeling confident he was right about this, Rumil felt he could finally seek his answers now, at long last.

"Meldir," she finally answered back, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge him as family in the way Rumil had. Oh, she was going to be a handful indeed! She was nearly as stubborn as Haldir at times!

Rumil smiled at her knowingly, causing her to roll her eyes and then look away from him. Afterwards, she seemed to be watching something in the distance, so Rumil turned his gaze in the same direction to find out what was holding her interest.

On the edge of the guard circle, Rumil could see that Belegwen was observing Haldir as he spoke with Gilhoth, the new second in command who had been commissioned to take over until Belegwen had her trial in Caras Galadhon. As Rumil studied Belegwen's face, he could see her disappointment and yearning for the position she currently could not occupy.

"It is only temporary," he reassured her quietly, resting his hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her. "You will be marchwarden again when we return to Caras Galadhon."

"I hope you are right," she replied, sounding less than confident about the odds as she continued to stare at Haldir and Gilhoth in the dimming light of the setting sun. The two soldiers' bodies were wrapped in the deep oranges and purples of the sunset as Haldir seemed to be speaking about something very serious with Gilhoth, who focused on his words intently.

Rumil lightly tapped on her shoulder until she looked at him, her sad blue eyes gleaming in the remnants of sunlight. "There are few here who doubt your return and many who would fight for you to have the position, should it come to that. Do not fret, for it will once again be yours."

Belegwen laughed nervously for a moment, looking at the ground briefly before once again meeting Rumil's eyes. "Perhaps. There are now other factors to consider though. Do you think Haldir will allow my return, now that I am… as I am?" She asked him quietly, glancing at her middle momentarily before tentatively looking at Rumil.

Rumil froze as he realized what Belegwen feared, that having the elfling would somehow result in her losing the position she cherished. Truly, it did seem to be a legitimate concern. "You will need to speak with Haldir about that Belegwen. I have no idea what he would want in that regard. I do understand his wish for you to sit out of the battle though, now that you carry something so precious along with you."

"I fear that he trains a permanent replacement," she whispered discontentedly, hugging herself with her own arms. "Now that he knows, he treats me as if I am made of glass, like I am some breakable elleth instead of a warrior. I do not like it."

Indeed, Rumil did notice that Haldir had changed recently. He had seen his brother loitering around the healing cart nearly every night this week, checking on Belegwen, asking if she had any unmet needs, making sure that she was safe from Erthalion… Honestly, Rumil had been amazed at how quickly Haldir had stepped up to help Belegwen and how much affection he had seen between the two of them lately.

Their love had always been a secret in the past, but Haldir seemed less bothered by it now, perhaps because there was little time left before all would know what had occurred between the two of them. Even though she wore baggy healing robes, Belegwen's elfling was starting to show. Rumil had already seen a couple of soldiers looking at her with curious glances over the last few days and knew that it was only a matter of time before the rumors began to circulate.

"Haldir only does for you what any other ellon would do if put into this position Belegwen. He does it out of respect for you, to show you his care and love. Can you not see that?" Rumil asked, feeling slightly annoyed that Belegwen might try to deny his brother the kindnesses he bestowed upon her so unexpectedly.

Could she not see that this was how Haldir was showing her his love and dedication? Rumil knew Haldir did not freely give these two things to just anyone, so this situation was very special indeed. Why could she not appreciate this?

"Love…" Belegwen murmured, sighing softly as she kicked at the long green grass beneath her boot-clad feet, studying it with a much keener interest than necessary.

"Belegwen," Rumil said with a pause, then asked cautiously, "Do you doubt Haldir's love for you?"

She shook her head, her loose silver hair brushing over her shoulders in a matching motion. "No, I know how he feels about me Rumil. I am just frustrated because he does not say it out loud. I can tell that he has tried now, several times, but he cannot tell me that he loves me out loud for some reason." She said, then softly admitted, "I do not understand what holds him back. I wish to say it to him, but I would rather he go first. I have been waiting for quite a while now..."

"Oh my…" Rumil said with a sigh of his own, scratching his hairline nervously as he took in her words. "Haldir is very complicated at times. I truly hope you do not doubt his feelings, as I can see that he loves you very much. I have never seen him react to an elleth this way before. Really, I have never seen him react to an elleth at all. Because of this, it is very obvious to me that you hold a special place in his heart."

He continued, "Honestly, I am shocked this happened between you and him. Orophin once told me Haldir was hurt by an elleth he loved in his youth, which is why he has stayed single for so long. There has been nary an elleth who could catch his eye for the last three millennia. We both thought his chance for love had been lost with the sands of time, yet here you are, with his heart safely resting in your hand."

Rumil felt emotional just thinking of it. His brother had been alone for so long. Rumil and Orophin had never thought Haldir would find happiness such as this. It was a relief to know that he could still find love after so long.

"It is a miracle that you have him now Belegwen. I honestly did not think he would ever love an elleth again. It brings me joy to know he will find happiness with you." Rumil finished with a choked up voice. He had not meant to get so wrapped up in the moment, but he could not help but feel sentimental about his brother finding love after all this time.

Once Rumil regained control of himself, he started trying to guess what was going on behind Belegwen's inscrutable face. He watched as Belegwen mulled over his words long and hard before she answered.

"But Rumil… elves only fall in love once in a lifetime. I know Haldir loves me now; I can feel it through the bond between us. How could he have loved someone else? I do not understand how that could be an accurate assessment. It is true that I knew Haldir long ago, but we did not have feelings for one another then, so how could what Orophin said be true?" Belegwen asked, thinking out loud as she reasoned through the new information he had provided her.

"I do not know Belegwen," Rumil stated calmly, though a niggling little thought in the back of his mind started to suspect something very dark and depressing about his older brother. Rumil hoped he was wrong, but could not help but worry that he was currently standing beside Haldir's secret love interest from his youth.

If it had been Belegwen all along, she had no idea what she had done.

"I still think Orophin was right; he was very close with Haldir, much closer than me. The two of them were very similar in age, interests, and mentality. He was Haldir's closest confidant in life. Perhaps Haldir told him the full story at one point; I know not." Rumil answered, then took a shaky breath before gently wrapping his fingers around Belegwen's upper arms and meeting her eyes once again.

He spoke to her slowly and intentionally as he said, "I suspect this is hard for Haldir because of his past. Give him time. He will figure out how to convey his feelings when he is ready. Not only that, but-"

Rumil stopped suddenly, immediately feeling that something was not right. The air had stilled around them and it was entirely too quiet; he felt the uncanny feeling that he was being watched. Rumil saw that Belegwen had noticed it too. Something lurked in the tall grasses near them—something dangerous.

Rumil signaled for Belegwen to stay put with a familiar signal of his hand, then started to walk away from her, very aware of the potential danger that was looming in the tall grass. Making a wide circle, Rumil bent down and snuck into the grass further away before starting to return to where Belegwen was, searching the grass for the enemy while taking care to not give away his position. He could see Belegwen was looking for something in the cart because her back was turned toward him. Though it looked innocent enough, Rumil feared she was planning an attack of her own with Nimrodel and worried for the elfling.

He needed to find whatever was out here and fast.

As it turned out though, leaving Belegwen on her own had resulted in the danger revealing itself to him, as he caught sight of the large orc creeping towards her in the grass. Perhaps he saw her as an easy target, especially now that she was alone?

Clearly, the orc had no idea who he was dealing with though, as Rumil knew Belegwen would not hesitate to engage him in battle if he came close enough. Because he watched Belegwen so intently, Rumil was able to sneak behind him with ease and disarm him.

Shrieking loudly, the orc attempted to turn and fight him, but Rumil was too fast. He tackled the orc in the grass and wrestled him down until he was subdued on his stomach; Rumil gripped his arms tightly behind his back and held the shrieking captive down as best as he could manage. A whistle rang out through the air and several soldiers ran up to assist with the orc while others snuck into the grass to search for additional orcs.

Immediately, Haldir was at his side and helped him lift the struggling orc off the ground. Another soldier came up and took Haldir's place at his silent indication and Rumil watched as Haldir stood in front of the orc, placing his sword against the creature's neck.

"Why do you lurk near our camp, spy? Answer me now, or meet your death at my hand." Haldir stated firmly, his eyes never leaving the orc.

The orc glared at him, then laughed menacingly, which earned him a smack across the face from the flattened end of Haldir's blade. Writhing in pain, the orc hissed, "Why should I, elf? You'll kill me after gettin' your way anyhow. Don't worry though, you'll get yours soon enough! Mark my words!" He cackled, looking excited and earning another smack from Haldir.

The orc screamed as Haldir continued the interrogation, pushing the sword even closer into his neck than he had before. A droplet of blue blood dripped down his neck where the sword started to connect with his flesh. "What is it that you think we will get? Who comes our way?"

It had been a mistake to ask though. Every elf in the camp could immediately feel the presence of evil in the air and trembled under its heavy weight. It started as a low whisper on the wind, but grew gradually louder and more pronounced until there was no doubt of what it was.

The black speech of Mordor rang out as a low rumble in the air amongst the elves, causing many of them to cringe and shudder. Some of them fell to their knees and covered their ears, pained at the sound of evil amplified amongst them. Shouts of distress rang out amongst the ranks, adding to the suffering they experienced around them.

Rumil was barely able to keep his footing under the pressure of the words. His grip on the orc was waning as the black speech beat down on him, injuring him as effectively as any weapon. He and the other elf who gripped the orc were both struggling, but somehow managed to keep their grip on him as evil gained the upper hand against them.

Haldir also gasped for air and stumbled, holding himself up by grabbing the shoulder of the orc for stability and leaning into him. This only lasted a few seconds though, as the eyes of the orc suddenly burned with the fire of Mordor. Rumil watched in horror as they went red and a shriek passed through the air.

A new, very unnatural voice grumbled from the depths of the orc's body. "You dare to stand against Sauron the Great? You shall meet your brother in death, with only maggots to keep you company!"

Screams rang out through the camp as an image of Rumil's brother Orophin, sprawled out dead on the ground in a pool of his own blood, flashed through his mind and the minds of all the others around him, followed by the image of a single, fire-encapsulated eye. Rumil felt himself go numb with pain under the hurtful image and the weight of the evil lingering in the air. He could barely hold the squirming orc now…

A ragged scream came from Haldir and Rumil watched in shock as his brother beheaded the orc with animalistic force. Immediately, the evil dissipated from the air and the foul voice stopped. Rumil stared at Haldir as he dropped to his knees, breathing heavily with exertion. A crazed look lingered in his brother's eyes as he stared at the bleeding body of the dead orc lying before him.

After a long pause of silence while the group recovered, Rumil started to get to his feet, only to be startled by hearing Haldir curse out loud and turn into a full run towards the healing cart. Rumil ran too once he figured out what had happened.

Belegwen had fallen to her hands and knees and was trembling terribly on the ground, one arm wrapped around her middle tightly as she struggled to hold herself up. Haldir was instantly at her side and lifted her face to meet his own. Both looked at one another in horror.

Rumil trembled at the ashen coloring of Belegwen's face as he heard her shakily say, "Haldir… there is something wrong inside of me." He saw his brother freeze in fear as she continued in a low, pain-stricken voice, "Something is wrong with the elfling."

"Rumil, go fetch Linedhel! NOW!" Haldir shouted, his voice sounding oddly twisted and full of uncustomary worry.

It was unnecessary though because Rumil had already started running to find the healer before Haldir had even shouted his name.

ooOoo

"How is she?" Haldir asked as he abruptly entered the healing cart. He was sick with worry; it had been particularly upsetting to leave Belegwen and the elfling with Rumil while he tended to his duties as marchwarden. He had rushed to rejoin them as soon as he could though, desperately needing to know if they were well.

The elves who had combed the grass found two more spying orcs crawling around and Haldir had killed them both quickly, unwilling to risk the danger of the black speech once more. Their bodies were set on fire and Haldir had arranged for several of the soldiers to continue combing the grass until morning, in addition to their regular watches, for increased safety.

Haldir's mind could not help but linger on the memory of Belegwen's ashen face as he had taken the appropriate steps to keep the ranks safe. Belegwen had appeared greatly weakened, just as she had after she was injured in the fire by the borders of Lothlorien. It scared him, how she had clung to her middle so desperately, not even letting go to make it easier for him to lift her up into the healing cart.

What he saw inside the cart was encouraging though. Belegwen had already regained some coloring in her face. She was leaned up against one wall of the wooden cabinets, her head tilted backwards so her face was aimed at the sky. Her eyes were open, but dimmed in reverie. She was breathing deeply in her sleep, her hands resting protectively on her middle.

Linedhel was kneeling by her legs, his lanky body bent over her as he worked. Belegwen's healing robes were pulled up over her stomach, which was where his hands were resting as he chanted ancient words in a whispered voice, appearing to be using his spirit to try and heal the elfling.

On Belegwen's far side was Rumil, sitting against the cabinets next to her. Haldir saw that Rumil's hand rested gently against Belegwen's arm, though his face was turned away from her, as if to protect her modesty while so much of her was exposed. Though his face was turned away, Haldir could see that Rumil was worried.

After a few moments, Linedhel released Belegwen's middle and sat up tall, falling silent as he finished the healing. He gently maneuvered the healing robes back over Belegwen's body. "I have put her into a healing sleep for the night. She will fully recover in a couple of days, as will the elfling."

"I do not understand why this has effected them in this way." Haldir said, as most of the soldiers had recovered from the attack in a matter of minutes.

"Haldir, an unborn elfling is one of the most pure, untainted beings in existence. We usually shelter our youngest ones from such evil, but your son was exposed to it much too soon and was hardly strong enough to bear the weight of it."

He continued, "The elfling became ill with fear upon hearing the black speech. It has driven Belegwen's body into working feverishly to try and restore the ellon to health, which sickens her in turn. The elfling has calmed somewhat now, but they are both in a weakened state from their survival efforts."

"They will both be okay though?" Rumil asked, looking back Belegwen with pain in his eyes. Indeed, the mood of the room was somber, as none of them liked the idea of an unborn elfling feeling fearful.

"Yes, they just need some time to rest." Linedhel said to Rumil with a smile. "I am confident of this."

Then, he turned to Haldir and said, "Your elfling has a great strength about him. You are very lucky marchwarden. This could have ended much worse than it did."

Haldir felt guilt well up into him upon hearing those words, as he had been the one who had goaded the orc until the attack had occurred. He had not known that Sauron would be paying such close attention to them though. Surely this meant the battle would be of great importance to the all-out war that raged against good and evil in Arda.

"I must go and see if there are others who having lingering effects from the attack. Will you watch her for the night?" Linedhel asked as he carefully stepped over Haldir, making his way to the door of the cart.

"Yes, I will be here." Haldir replied, watching as Linedhel jumped out of the cart and went on his way.

Once Linedhel was gone, Haldir scooted beside Belegwen's sleeping form and took her in his arms, gently easing her to the ground so that she was lying on her back in a more comfortable position. He quickly disconnected the red cape from his armor and rolled it up, placing it under her head as a pillow. He then lifted her head lightly and pulled her hair out from under her body, arranging it on top of her shoulder so it was out of the way.

When he looked up, he saw Rumil was still there, staring at him with a knowing smile on his face. "You love her." He stated, his eyes twinkling with delight. Haldir silently watched his brother's face as he waited patiently for some sort of confession. He supposed this conversation was long overdue.

"How long?" Rumil asked, continuing to pry, though he had not gotten any sort of response to his first statement. "How long have you loved her Haldir?"

"Almost a year now," Haldir said softly, giving in as he knew there was no point in hiding it now. Belegwen would soon bear him a son and all would be revealed then anyway. Rumil had already seen that she was pregnant. There was no longer any reason to hide it.

"I do not believe you." Rumil challenged, a look of impertinence overtaking his face. "How long has it really been?"

Haldir sighed and rolled his eyes at this. "You sound just like Bragolith."

"Oh, so Bragolith knows the tale? Perhaps I should go and ask him to tell me the story, since you are not being very forthcoming with me, your own flesh and blood." Rumil said, starting to sound accusatory.

Haldir deserved that, as he had not been very open with Rumil about anything since Orophin had passed. Sharing with his brother was a thing of the past now, as he feared it would remind him too much of Orophin's passing. Even now, he felt himself becoming emotional while thinking about Orophin's immortality, which had been snuffed out much too soon.

Did Rumil not understand how much he reminded him of Orophin? Of how much pain his death had brought?

Haldir had not been fair to Rumil though. He clearly missed him and needed him as a brother, especially in these darkest of days where evil seemed to be looming around every corner. Rumil deserved to know about him and Belegwen and should have found out from him directly, rather than having to confirm his own suspicions through observation and his own sneaky devices.

"No," Haldir finally said through his teeth, the pain of Orophin's death rising up to him once again. "I would have you hear it from me."

After bestowing a single caress to Belegwen's hair, he carefully crawled around her and sat next to Rumil beside her feet, leaning against the cabinets by his brother. Though he was still rather angry, Rumil greeted him with a pat on the shoulder and a kiss to his cheek, much in the same way as he always did. Rumil had never been one to shy away from showing affection to family and friends and, though public shows of affection were not a thing Haldir enjoyed, he had grown accustomed to his brother's ways over the years and was not bothered by it.

"I do not know where to start." Haldir said idly, struggling to put his emotions into words.

"At the beginning of course. Tell me how you fell in love with Belegwen when you were young. Tell me what took place between the two of you that has made it take so long for this to happen." He said, pointing back and forth between Haldir and Belegwen to indicate their connection.

"There is not much to tell. Lord Celeborn brought Belegwen with him to the borders to talk with Annondel one day. I was just over 500 at the time and she was a couple of weeks away from reaching her 50th birthday. She ended up waiting for him on the flet Bragolith and I shared for the watch. Bragolith was a terrible flirt back then and he bothered her until she avoided him and started speaking with me. We spoke for a while and I helped her shoot an arrow from my Galadhrim bow. By the time she left, I was fond of her."

Looking up to gauge Rumil's reaction, Haldir found him entranced with the story. "Go on brother; what happened next?" He asked impatiently, signaling for him to continue with a motion of his hand.

"Lord Celeborn and Annondel had both seen that I had feelings for her and went about trying to match us together. Lord Celeborn invited me to help teach her how to dance one day, but she stomped on my toes to end the dance lesson. Annondel kept encouraging me to court her and propose to her. I suspect it was because he knew Belegwen wanted to become a warden and he did not want to deal with the uproar such a thing was bound to cause at the time. I even tried to catch her eye a time or two, but it did not work." He said, looking down in shame as he remembered the lingering sadness he had endured during those days.

"All Belegwen ever wanted was to be a warden. She did not court a single elf back then. I waited 200 years for her Rumil, but then she made it quite clear to me that she was never going to marry anyone, so I decided to stop trying. For the last 3,000 years, I have suppressed my feelings for her. Being a warden seemed to make her happy and her happiness pleases me beyond all else, so I left her alone."

"Even though your own happiness was at stake?" Rumil asked quietly as an understanding passed between them. Haldir nodded silently and waited a few moments before continuing.

"After a long time, I convinced myself that I did not need her and that my duty was more important than a relationship with an elleth. I started to feel the same bitterness towards her that others did and I told myself it was because of her gender, but really, it was because she had no feelings for me." He said tensely.

Haldir shuddered as he remembered the embarrassment of finally realizing that Belegwen would never return his feelings. He had fallen in love with someone who would never love him back and it had wounded him deeply. He had pushed all of his anger and hurt within himself and had not let them out since he told Orophin all those years ago. Orophin had understood how much the situation had hurt him and had never brought it up again, though his dislike of Belegwen had been evident from then on.

Belegwen didn't even know what she had done though. She seemed to be completely oblivious to his desire for her at the time and the pain of rejection that had followed. Granted, Haldir had been shy then and was not as forward with her in the way that Bragolith and a few other elves had been, but he had winked at her that once... He had always tried to be kind and courteous to her when others had not been. Perhaps his feelings had not been evident enough to her.

It no longer mattered though. Belegwen had chosen him now, however inadvertently, to be her husband. Haldir was overjoyed that it had finally happened, but struggled to deal with the lingering effects from the rejection he had endured in the past. It was why he had courted her with such hesitancy. It was why he pretended not to know her well when she had first become a second. It was why had held her at arms length for a while, even though he had not wanted to.

It was why he could not seem to bring himself to tell her that he loved her…

Haldir could not bear to be rejected like that again.

Suddenly, Haldir was removed from his dark thoughts by Rumil's arms wrapping around him and holding him fast. Hesitating for a moment at his brother's open affection, Haldir eventually returned the hug in full, accepting the comfort his brother offered so much more freely than himself. He could hear Rumil sniffling a bit by his ear and decided that he must have shed a tear or two on his behalf.

What had happened between him and Belegwen was tragic, a nightmare that most elves would never have to endure. It had hardened him over the years and made him reject any sort of love for a long time now, fearing its painful consequences. Yet, when Belegwen had finally seemed open to such a relationship, he had been unable to control himself and had slowly shown her parts of himself he had previously believed would never return.

"I am sorry for what you have endured brother." Rumil murmured as he pulled away from the hug after a long while. He brushed a few glistening tears from his face. "No one should have to go through that."

After a few more sniffles, Rumil finally got a hold of himself and said, "Thank you for sharing that with me. I have missed being close with you."

"That I am sorry for," Haldir whispered, looking down in shame. He had been a fool as of late. "It has been a struggle for me to open up to you since Orophin passed. Being around you makes me think of him and… I struggle with it yet. Please forgive me brother."

"There is nothing to forgive," Rumil whispered to him quietly, bestowing a look of sincerity upon him. "It still hurts me too. It probably always will."

"Indeed," Haldir said, agreeing with the sentiment fully. The two sat in silence for a long while, watching Belegwen's reverie in what little light filtered in through the cloth topper of the cart. They could hear a few voices speaking quietly to one another in the camp, but most were quiet now, having either gone to sleep or set about their watch duty a while ago.

"What are you going to do about Belegwen? Are you going to marry her properly when we return?" Rumil asked delicately. He laid his hand on Haldir's knee, his voice becoming a mere whisper when he said, "She needs you to tell her that you love her, brother. She is bothered that you have not said it yet."

"I know," Haldir murmured back, staring at the ceiling with an odd interest as he felt a flush draw over his face. He gently tilted his golden head back against the darkened cabinets as he mulled over Rumil's words.

Haldir was very keenly aware of Belegwen's emotions and thoughts now because of their bond. He knew that Belegwen had been disappointed with him when he had started to make his declaration and then failed to after their lovemaking, though she had not said so out loud. He had tried, after all, and she knew that. He knew that she was aware of his feelings for her and that he considered her to be his wife now.

She deserved the words though. Haldir was just too frightened to say them, to give up this one last bit of control that remained in his hands. To give her this declaration would be his way of accepting whatever fate she decided for them, even if it ended with another rejection.

Haldir knew he could not handle another rejection, so he had held on.

It was not fair to Belegwen though, nor to the ellon she carried. After all, she had not given him any reason to believe that he would be denied again. It seemed very unlikely that she would turn him away now that they had created an elfling together. Indeed, Belegwen deserved better than the miniscule offerings of words he had managed to give.

He was almost out of time.

Haldir still could not shake the feeling that Helm's Deep would be where he met his untimely fate. He had skirted death for so long, but he knew that it could happen to any warden at any time. Curudae, whom Belegwen had replaced as marchwarden, as well as his own brother Orophin had felt death's sting in the past year. Both had been great wardens, yet both had passed into the Halls of Mandos.

How much longer could he avoid his own impending doom? From the vision of his own brother in the lady's mirror to his own intuition, Haldir suspected very strongly that his time in Arda was waning. He cherished every breath he took now, as he felt strongly that he was drawing towards what would soon be his last.

"Rumil," he said softly as he thought ahead to the future and all he would miss once again. "I need something from you. A promise, if you will."

Though he did not look at Rumil, he could feel his eyes upon him as well as his worry. Rumil knew him well and the tone of voice he had used was unusually flat. The weight of the world was on his shoulders and he needed this one last thing from Rumil to comfort him before his own inevitable demise.

"What is it Haldir?" Rumil asked after a moment of deliberation. He could see the anxiety lingering in his brother's eyes as he waited for his request.

It took Haldir a moment to gather up enough confidence to ask it of him. "Promise me… If I should fall in the battle-"

"Haldir," Rumil interrupted, pleading for him to stop. "Please brother, do not speak this way-"

"I need this Rumil," Haldir stubbornly argued, interrupting his brother as smoothly as he had interrupted him seconds ago. "Would you deny my heart this one last request? It is of the utmost importance that Belegwen and the elfling are cared for, even in my absence. Promise me you will, Rumil. Promise me you will see to them if I fall."

"Of course, Haldir," he whispered emotionally, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. "Belegwen is my friend and the elfling is part of you and therefore part of me too. We both know that family is important. I would never abandon either of them, even if you did not ask it of me now."

"You have my word," Rumil continued, wiping a tear away from his eye as he stared at Haldir with lingering pain in his eyes. A feeling of relief washed over Haldir. Just knowing that someone else would be there for her had taken a great burden off of him.

"Very good. Thank you brother." Haldir replied, closing his eyes and praying that it would not come to that. He wished to be the one who was there for Belegwen and the sweet little one growing within her.

Haldir wanted to be an adar…

Haldir wanted to live.

Briefly leaving Belegwen to her rest, Haldir exited the healing cart to change out the guard. He watched as Rumil diligently took his spot amongst the circle and felt a deep respect for him as he clung to his promise. He knew Rumil was honorable and would keep the promise as best as he could manage.

Once he had gotten reports from Gilhoth and several of the wardens who had been combing the grass, he snuck back into the healing cart to watch over Belegwen for the remainder of the night, falling into reverie himself after a time.

ooOoo

_Haldir's eyes opened. There he was, lying on his back on the all too familiar talan floor beneath the mellyrn leaves. Each leaf was a resplendent golden color, almost glittering in the sunlight above his head. The light coming off of them was nearly blinding and he could not see much aside from it._

_He knew from the repeating nature of this dream that he could not move, so he did not even try. Though he could not see who it was, he knew who was coming and feared for himself. He sensed Orophin's presence within the dream long before he could hear him or see him. He would have to wait though—he always had to wait before his brother arrived._

_After a short while, he heard the creaking of a door and felt the light vibration of footsteps on the wooden planks beneath his back. The footsteps grew stronger with every passing second as Orophin approached once again. His shadow slid across the floor until it loomed menacingly over Haldir's frozen form._

_Orophin had returned with darkness upon him. Gone were his soft, easy-going features. No, there was malice in his eyes as he grasped Haldir's legs tightly, his fingernails somehow penetrating his skin through the fabric of his leggings._

_Haldir tried to pull away from the painful grip, but could not manage it. He was frozen in the dream and could not move a muscle, no matter how heartily he tried. Momentarily, he panicked as he felt Orophin start to move him. His body was being dragged across the floor of the talan until they reached the edge of the balcony. Orophin was staring intently at him with his evil-ridden eyes. They were almost black, so filled they were with hate._

_"You are not coming home, Haldir. Maggots will tear your flesh away and your spirit will rove the halls, seeking comforts it will never find!"_

_Haldir tried to scream as Orophin started to lift him into the sky, but no sound escaped his lips. Two voices rang out below him, one low and one high, both screaming at Orophin to let him go. As he took to the air once more, his head rolled back and he caught sight of Belegwen and Rumil. Haldir found that he was pulling Belegwen with him, her arm trapped firmly in his grasp again. Rumil held her tightly though, trying to make good on his promise._

_"Haldir, let her go or you will be the death of her! Let her stay here! Please, release her!" Rumil cried out, fumbling to keep a hold on her as she started to lift off the ground, struggling against Haldir's iron grip on her arm._

_"_ _Let me go! Please!" She screamed, desperately trying to yank her arm out of his grasp with her free hand. Rumil clung to her abdomen, but was quickly losing his grip on her as they took to the sky together. Orophin's cackling echoed through the sky as Haldir mentally pleaded to the Valar to regain feeling in his hand so he could let go of Belegwen. He did not want to drag her with him. He could not take her along with him, there was too much at stake!_

_His head flopped limply downward for a moment, but was then jostled so he could once again see the platform. As curiously as he had appeared within the dream, Rumil was now gone. He was replaced with a mysterious new elf. Dressed as a warden, this elf held Belegwen by the ankle and looked up at him with oddly familiar blue eyes and facial features that were very similar to his own. His silver hair was tied back in warrior's braids, smooth and neat behind his ears._

_He tried to pull away from Belegwen's leg, but appeared to be stuck as well. He put up quite the struggle against the fate that awaited him, but could not seem to back away from the talan edge or detach himself from Belegwen's ankle._

_Haldir met his fearful eyes for just a second and felt a tear slide down his cheek as he saw the elf's feet begin to lift off the talan floor._

_"_ _Ada, no!" He pleaded before all went white around them._

_Haldir found himself on an unfamiliar stairway, spiraling up a mallorn tree at the city's edge. Something was wrong though; he knew it in his heart. The atmosphere was heavy around him and the stench of orcs and blood wafted through the stale air. All was silent in the forest, not even a bird was singing from the treetops._

_Something horrible had happened here. Haldir could feel it all the way down to his bones. He slowly stepped up the remaining stairs towards the door, a foreboding feeling washing over him as he saw that it was partially open. Something was on the floor in front of the opening, but he could not tell what it was. He ascended the last step with extra caution and then slowly pushed the door open._

_It was a bloodbath. Three elves were dead on the floor, two civilians and one warden. The civilians looked as though they had been killed first. There was both an ellon and an elleth, dressed in scholarly robes. They were lying unnaturally in the doorway, near one another and soaked in pools of their own blood. Their glossy eyes bore fearful looks, which were frozen on their faces in death._

_The other body was that of a warden. He was much deeper into the room and had definitely not fallen without a putting up a good fight. His body was surrounded by numerous broken objects, the shards of which were scattered all over the floor. He was bruised and bloodied in many places, rather than having just one wound like the other two elves._

_"_ _Ada," a young voice whispered, "Ada. Naneth. Nenrim. No!"_

_A cabinet door creaked nearby and Haldir found his legs shooting into a nearby broom closet, immediately barricading the door closed upon entering with every last thing available inside the closet. Then, there was an eerie silence, which was only interrupted by the occasional creaking of the front door, which was still unlatched. Haldir could also hear the sound of his labored breathing..._

_There was panic._

_Darkness._

_Fear._

Haldir gasped as he awoke with a start. Beside him, he saw that Belegwen still slept; the healing sleep Linedhel had placed her in was meant to last until morning. Still, it did not look like peaceful sleep and Haldir worried for her. Her body was tensed up and her head sporadically moved from one side to another, caught in a nightmare she was unable to wake from.

He had seen her dream, a vision of what it had looked like when she had found her family murdered all those years ago. Haldir's heart continued to race as he thought about the fear the young elleth must have felt when she walked into that horrific scene. She had told him once that she was only 29 when she saw that.

29.

His heart broke for her at the thought.

Belegwen had endured so much in the last three millennia. She had fought tooth and nail to achieve her position, with nearly every possible obstacle stacked against her, and still she had prevailed in the end. Yet, Haldir knew that nothing compared to the terrible blow life had dealt her when she lost her entire family in one day.

Now Haldir was striving to make a family of his own with her. Would she be able to bear it if she lost part of this family too?

A tear made its way slowly down the contour of his cheek as he thought about how he may not return home and what such a thing would do to Belegwen. She had lost so much already. How could he do such a terrible thing, leaving her pregnant and on her own?

 _"_ _She would not be on her own though,"_ his mind reminded him, _"She would have Rumil to help her."_

If Rumil also died, she would have no one. No one but the ellon he had helped create within her. Would she be able to raise him on her own if she had to? Surely she had overcome worse obstacles in her life at this point?

Still, Haldir felt guilty as he thought about the sadness and hardships that would follow if she had to raise the elfling alone. An elfling would be much easier to raise with two parents instead of one. Plus, a young ellon needed his adar to teach him specific things about being an ellon that Belegwen would not understand. If he was not there and Rumil was not there, who would see it done?

Wondering if Belegwen was still barricaded in the closet within her dream, Haldir eased himself down beside her, propping himself up on one elbow so that he laid on his side as he assessed her. His free hand reached out and gently stroked her cheek as she slept.

"I am here sweet warden," he murmured, leaning down so that he could speak quietly in her ear. "You are dreaming. Do not let the darkness overcome you." He stroked her hair for a moment, admiring for the millionth time how smooth, luxurious, and beautiful her silver hair was. He would never tire of it, just as he would never tire of her.

"I would save you if I could." He continued, leaning in until he was nearly touching her ear with his lips, "Protect you, if I could. If I could wake you from reliving this horror, I would. Be strong hervess, soon the night will be over and I would have you wake up in my arms." And, as if somehow sensing his words, Belegwen did calm down after a time, relaxing slowly at the reception of his words and the tender touch of his hand.

When she was fully still once more, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Her skin was soft and firm; his fingers slid over her cheek once more with grace. Haldir found himself treasuring this moment, along with the other memories he had made with her recently.

While he did not have much time to think about it when it first occurred, Haldir had now dwelled on their kiss in the forest many times. Belegwen had sought to comfort him in those moments and it had eventually worked. Though they had been caught and forced to endure the council meeting, along with the pain of the consequences that ensued, Haldir had eventually felt a great pressure lifted from his chest upon hearing from Belegwen that he was the only elf for her.

He remembered how beautiful she had looked as she said it. The first light of the morning had been casting the shadows of leaves across her face and lighting up the shine of starlight, which was captured within the waterfall of silver hair that flowed behind her.

That kiss too! It had been eagerly welcomed after so long a stretch with none to speak of. He had loved how she had held his face so carefully between her hands and how the bond had thrummed through them both, perfecting the moment as only it could and driving the passion shared between them to new heights.

When she finally released his lips, she had held his face a moment longer, her desire and care for him evident on her face. The kiss had taken her breath away, yet still she whispered, _"You are the only elf for me, Haldir."_

Haldir had known in that moment that she meant it with all her heart. He had felt her complete sincerity through their bond. It had given him great confidence of late, knowing how she felt about him, even though he struggled to bestow upon her the same courtesy.

He frowned as he thought once again about his own inadequacy. Apparently, Belegwen was bothered by it enough to broach the topic with Rumil, who now seemed to know more about them than Haldir was comfortable with. Belegwen had hidden her sadness well enough in his presence, but Haldir wished to make it right if he could.

"I do love you Belegwen," he murmured in her ear as she continued to sleep, "I am sorry that I struggle to tell you how much."

And so he laid there beside her, worrying about her until the light of dawn started to slowly make its way over the camp. Haldir had hoped that Belegwen would wake up in his arms, but the sleep Linedhel had put her in was deep and she did not. After bestowing a gentle kiss to her lips, Haldir was forced to take his cape and leave her alone in the cart to begin the marches.

His declaration of love would have to wait.

ooOoo

"Rumil, may I have a word with you?" Heledhril asked cautiously, trying to figure out the best way to broach this peculiar topic. He really needed someone to know what he had seen and Rumil seemed like a safe enough bet, as he was Marchwarden Belegwen's closest friend and confidant.

"Certainly. How might I be of service to you Heledhril?" Rumil answered with his usual charm, a bright smile on his face as he prepared to rejoin the ranks for the morning marches.

"I need your eyes, Rumil." Heledhril started, quickly searching for the right words as to not scare or overwhelm his comrade. "Though Erthalion is guarded now, I sense something will happen soon. Something bad. We must be extra vigilant now, as he has become unpredictable as of late."

"How do you know this?" Rumil asked, giving him a curious look. "Has he said something to you?"

"No," Heledhril replied quickly, fearing he had already given away too much. "It is just a feeling Rumil. I think he is about to do something horrible. When I am near him, I can feel it. He has an air of malice about him. I fear what this means for Marchwarden Belegwen."

He watched as Rumil digested this information as he carefully adjusted the boots of his armor. "Then we will keep our eyes drawn to both him and her as often as possible." Rumil replied strongly as he stood back up, suddenly appearing very serious. "You should tell Haldir. He would want to know."

"I will," Heledhril said, quickly moving away from Rumil to go and find the Marchwarden before they started to march again. He easily caught sight of his billowing red cape and made his way towards him with haste.

Heledhril did in fact tell Haldir about what he had felt from Erthalion and how he felt he would act soon. Haldir had responded in turn by placing a second guard with him for the remainder of the trip to ensure Belegwen's safety.

What Heledhril did not tell either of the brothers about though was the premonition he had when he looked into Erthalion's eyes the previous night. He did not mention the sword he had seen flashing in their darkened depths, gleaming menacingly before piercing into armor.

Armor that belonged to an elf in their ranks.

Nor did he dare to mention that every premonition he had ended up coming to life right before his very eyes. The few elves who knew of Heledhril's talents were frightened of him. Thus, Heledhril had long ago decided not to share them with others unless if was born out of absolute necessity.

He was always right about these things… It was discomforting indeed.

It was how he had known to run out and confront Erthalion when he had approached Belegwen on the training grounds that night in Caras Galadhon. He had dreamt about the confrontation before it had happened and had not bothered to even get dressed before racing out of the warden's halls to find them before it was too late.

Erthalion's memory loss had only been temporary and now danger loomed for some unsuspecting elf within the ranks.

Heledhril would watch for the moment and do everything in his power to prevent his vision from coming to fruition. He knew that it was within his power to prevent Erthalion from murdering another elf…

He only wished he had seen who was on the other side of the sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. I would love to hear your thoughts; they often brighten my days!


	45. Helm's Deep

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 45: Helm's Deep

Belegwen awoke with a gasp to a plethora of new sounds and motions. The clip-clop of the horse's hooves had become loud and the terrain had changed underneath the healing cart, becoming more uneven and moving her around much more roughly than it had when they traveled through the fields of grass. Startled by this sudden change, Belegwen carefully got to her feet and peeked out the cart's back curtain.

They had arrived at Helm's Deep. The cart was steadily proceeding up an uneven brick ramp to enter Rohan's fortress of protection. Taking care not to fall, Belegwen gripped the wooden counter atop the cabinets to help ease her way to the front of the cart, taking a seat next to Linedhel in the dim light of dusk.

Linedhel gasped, then smiled when he saw her sit down. "Thank goodness you have woken up! How do you feel Belegwen?" Linedhel asked, haphazardly trying to direct the horse while inspecting her at the same time.

"I am well enough. I feel as though I have recovered from the black speech." She replied, pointing ahead of her to direct Linedhel to watch the ramp more carefully, lest they drive right off. "How long was I asleep?"

"Well…" Linedhel started, sounding a bit uncomfortable, "I am afraid I must have been a little overzealous with my power, Belegwen; I only meant for you to sleep for a single night. However, you have now slept for two and a half days straight. I apologize, as that was never my intention." He said, looking embarrassed.

"That explains why I feel so well rested now. It is not a problem Linedhel. In fact, I thank you for it because I now feel much better." Belegwen said confidently. She was not concerned with the mistake, as nothing bad had resulted from it.

"Haldir will be relieved. He has been very worried about you, especially since you did not wake up when I thought you would." Linedhel replied, though his face seemed to tell her that something much more unpleasant had unfurled between the two of them. Had Haldir lost his temper with Linedhel? Judging by the discomfort on Linedhel's face, he probably had.

Belegwen frowned as Linedhel reacted to the ranks stopping in front of him, quickly pulling back his reigns to stop the horse from walking into the cart in front of him. There were many lines of soldiers in front of the carts on the curving ramp and Belegwen could not see what was happening at the front of the lines. Surely Haldir would see to them getting in though; Belegwen could not imagine their help would be denied. Lord Celeborn had been adamant about how their presence would be necessary and how the families of Rohan would need their protection.

After several minutes had passed, the ranks started moving once more as access to the fortress was gained. Once they made it through the massive brick gates, they followed Esgalamon's signal from the dining cart ahead of them to veer off onto a ramp that led down into the protected areas of the keep.

"Please stop for a moment. I would like to get off and see a few elves before I head down there." Belegwen said quietly as she looked around at her unfamiliar surroundings. There were many men here, but they did not look like trained men. Most of them looked like farmers or herdsmen—those that were not too old or too young anyway, which seemed to be the predicament of more than half the crowd.

It was as Lord Celeborn said—they had arrived to bring hope to the hopeless, for this was a ragtag bunch indeed. Belegwen feared especially for the youngest looking men, many of which still appeared to be boys and looked as though they would be clueless when it came to knowing weaponry or defensive skills.

They were unlikely to survive the night.

Belegwen leaned forward slightly when Linedhel pulled back the reigns once again to stop the horse. He handed her a leaf-wrapped piece of lembas bread that he had stowed underneath his seat before saying, "Eat the whole thing and promise me you will come into the keep before the battle Belegwen. This is no place for an unborn elfling."

"I promise Linedhel. I will find my way down there soon." She said, pocketing the bread before she carefully hopped down from the cart. Belegwen watched as Linedhel and the other cart drivers rode through an unlit doorway that looked as though it lead them into a darkened descent. It was in caves below the keep where the civilians would be hidden from danger. Belegwen intended to make it down there before the battle began as well.

Moving quickly, Belegwen started wandering the keep, looking for Haldir. She sought to reassure him before the battle that she was indeed all right so that he could fully focus on the task at hand without distraction. She had thought he would be easily spotted, as he was the only one amongst them donning a red cape, but the keep was crawling with boys and men, many of them loud and bustling about in such a way that made it difficult for Belegwen to pass through their midst.

The Edain she could see within her eye line were quickly preparing for battle, many of the boys and men suiting up in mismatched, ill-fitting armor. Some pushed through the crowd, trying to find weapons that were usable. Some of the swords Belegwen saw appeared to be in poor condition, having laid around the keep for far too long without receiving proper maintenance over time.

Her eyes finally came to rest on a small group of boys who were sifting through a pile of swords, very few of them in good working condition. Belegwen cringed as she saw a boy start to walk away with one that was in particularly bad shape.

Jogging after him, Belegwen held her palm facing outward to the boy and spoke in Westron. "Stop." The child stopped, his long black hair falling over one eye as he looked up at Belegwen and said something in Rohirric to her that she could not understand. She did not think the boy knew Westron, so she motioned him back to the pile and picked out a much better sword for the boy, taking the first sword from his hands and replacing it quickly with a nod. She also helped the last few boys from the group find swords that were the closest to being in decent shape and appropriate for their physical builds.

Two of the boys lingered, smacking their swords together in a mock battle that made Belegwen cringe. Neither of them knew how to properly hold or use their swords. Taking one of the swords from the pile into her own hand, she waved at them to obtain their attention and then demonstrated a proper sword grip to them, helping them both achieve it before guiding their swords through a few basic motions for them to practice. It was not much, but Belegwen hoped the simple moves would serve them well during the battle.

As she sent them on their way, she turned to put the sword she had demonstrated with back into the pile, only to find Rumil curiously watching her from a distance. Upon meeting her eyes, he approached her and said, "Belegwen, I did not know you had finally woken up. How are you feeling today?"

"I feel much better now, thank you for asking." She said, idly placing her hand on her stomach, which was quickly becoming a norm for her. "The ellon also seems to have calmed down. I think all is well within me once more."

"This is wonderful news gwathel! Has Haldir seen you yet? He has been terribly worried about you the last few days and I know he would certainly like to see you before the battle begins." Rumil said, looking around for his brother as if to direct her to him. Belegwen's eyes searched along with him, but neither of them could see Haldir's familiar form through the crowd of men and elves milling about within the walls of the keep.

Dusk had quickly given way to darkness, more so than usual as storm clouds were quickly gathering in the sky and covering up the light the elves had grown accustomed to from the moon and stars. Belegwen could see a few unkempt women in threadbare dresses worming their way through the crowd to light torches that were placed against the walls of the keep. The golden firelight illuminated Rumil's face as a torch near where they were standing suddenly rose to life with a burning flame.

"He must still be debriefing with the other leaders. Come, I will take you to them. You can also deliver his sword to him; Valtaur sharpened it tonight and asked me to return it to him." He said, showing Belegwen the sword he carried in his left hand.

"Very well then," Belegwen replied and carefully followed Rumil through the crowd, trying to stay in the path directly behind him so the men, who were not known for being graceful, would not bump into her and jostle the little ellon. There were elves milling about as well, many speaking solemnly amongst themselves and checking their armor straps and weapons as they went about finding their places on the wall of the keep. All of them had serious faces, a veil of gloom covering their previously jovial moods.

The elves knew what they were up against. They knew what evils they would face that night. They knew what the cost of failure would be. Tied to their duty and pride, they marched on, prepared to do whatever was necessary to save the innocents inside the keep.

Belegwen caught sight of Heledhril as she followed behind Rumil. He smiled and greeted her with a bow of his head and a salute of his fist upon his heart. Belegwen responded with a nod in the darkness and called to him, "Be safe tonight Heledhril! Fight well!"

As she passed him by, his lips did not move, but she could have sworn she heard his voice reply, _"I will Marchwarden."_

She paused in confusion for a moment, but Rumil grabbed her by the hand before she could initiate a conversation with him and pulled her down a set of stairs and into a darkened hallway, lit only by one tiny torch all the way at the far end. As they walked through the darkness towards the light, Belegwen could hear the soft taps of their feet echo through the brick hallway as they walked.

Stopping by the thick wooden door by the torch, she met Rumil's eyes as he handed her Haldir's sword. Sheathed in a metal scabbard that was fitting of a great commander, it was a heavy burden in her hand.

"Rumil, please be safe tonight. I do not know what I would do if harm were to come to you." She whispered, grabbing him up in an emotional hug that was made awkward by her enlarged stomach. Rumil ended up oddly bent over her shoulder, but held her back tightly all the same. Belegwen did not let go of her best friend right away, instead opting to whisper a prayer of protection to Eru Iluvatar for him. When she was finished, she grabbed his face and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Protect Haldir for me. Please." She requested quietly, looking in his blue eyes for some sort of confirmation. They softened under her gaze.

"Do not worry gwathel, we will look after one another during the battle. We always do." Rumil replied, giving her a kiss back on her cheek before stepping away from her, only to grab her hand and squeeze it in his own. Though he smiled, there was an uncharacteristically serious tone to his voice tonight.

"Take care of yourself as well, Belegwen. Keep that little nephew of mine safe while I am gone. I will do everything in my power to make sure that his adar returns to you in one piece." He vowed and then, with one final squeeze, let go of her hand. He looked at her for a moment more, the firelight setting his eyes aglow in the darkness. Then, he took off in the other direction, presumably to find his place for the battle ahead.

Slightly shaken by the goodbye that had just taken place with her closest friend, Belegwen found that she needed to take a couple of breaths to ease her anxiety before she entered the room she had been led to. The door was thick and heavy, though the black metal latch allowed it to open quietly enough. Belegwen found herself in a large, cavernous room with a high ceiling. Though the room was huge, there was only a small crowd of beings clustered in the middle of it, all drawn around a table covered in papers, books, and a miniature model of the fortress.

Only the two elves in the group seemed to notice Belegwen's appearance; the men and the dwarf continued talking as if they had not noticed her appear in the shadows. Belegwen stayed back, waiting for the meeting to finish before approaching Haldir. She listened quietly to them as they spoke of strategies, noticing that she was not the only one who lurked in the shadows in the massive room. There were a few others in the shadows of the room's edge, presumably waiting for the attention of the king or one of the other leaders.

At one point, she caught the blue eyes of the Mirkwood Prince, Legolas, who smiled at her before turning his attention back to the king. Belegwen had encountered the prince before during a couple of his many journeys to Lothlorien and had liked him well enough. Unlike others, Prince Legolas had never been afraid to spar with her and Belegwen had enjoyed practicing dueling with him on several occasions because he was very skilled in all types of weaponry.

He had told her that in Mirkwood there were several ellyth who served as wardens, which had perhaps influenced his lack of bias towards her. This had always intrigued Belegwen and she had hoped that one day she might be able to travel there and meet these ellyth wardens. She would love to see how they were received in Mirkwood, to spar with them, and to find out if they had any helpful advice for Belegwen on fitting in as female wardens.

Having been lost in thought momentarily, Belegwen snapped out of it with a silent inhalation and watched as the group of leaders dispersed, a couple of the men going to speak with the other men who were waiting for them in the shadows. She stepped out of the shadows and watched as Prince Legolas approached her.

"Belegwen, I hear congratulations are in order! Word has reached my realm of the appointment of Lothlorien's newest marchwarden. They have chosen well, mellon!" He said, holding her arm firmly, then bringing her in for a hug before Belegwen could put a stop to the action. When he pulled back from her, he immediately looked down and then back to her face, appearing to be uncertain of what to say now that he had discovered her pregnancy.

"I see you have discovered that congratulations of a different sort are also in order," Belegwen said with a flustered voice, flushing a bit at her admittance. She was saved from having to make a full explanation though as Haldir approached her from the side and laid his hand gently on her shoulder.

"Yes, Belegwen and I are expecting a new arrival in a few months." Haldir said, smiling at her momentarily before looking at the prince. "We are blessed to soon be having an elfling of our own."

Legolas, for his part, took the surprising news well and reacted gracefully to it. "I apologize, as I had not heard that the two of you had wed—'tis a joyous occasion indeed! I extend my warmest congratulations to you both. May this new elfling bring much happiness to your home." He said, bowing his head to them out of respect, though there was concern laced into his sharp gaze when he looked up at them a moment later.

It was clear that he too feared for what might happen to Haldir.

"Thank you Prince Legolas. Be certain to stay safe tonight." Belegwen said as he nodded to them and went on his way. A few minutes later the room had cleared out, leaving only her and Haldir, two lone figures in a massive cave staring at one another in the dim firelight.

"You are awake." He finally said, interrupting the silence that had lingered between them momentarily. "I am glad to see you up and about again. You did not wake up when Linedhel said you would and I was beginning to fear the worst."

Belegwen did not reply to this, but instead studied his eyes. Clear and blue, they shone with relief in the golden light of the torches and fireplace. Upon searching his mind, Belegwen was able to find a brief flash of the memory she was looking for. Haldir saw it too and immediately appeared embarrassed, which was a side of Haldir that Belegwen had not yet seen.

"You were unkind to Linedhel." Belegwen said in a low tone after the memory passed, sadness radiating off her mind and her face. "He does not deserve to be treated thusly. It was an accident."

Haldir looked down, studying the darkened bricks of the floor intently before answering. "I know. I will apologize in due time." He said, then looked up and met her disappointed eyes with his own.

Appearing to feel shameful, he murmured, "There is just something about you Belegwen… something that makes me lose all reasonable thought and become reactive at times. I know what I said was inappropriate though and I will make it right after the battle."

Seeing that he was remorseful over the sentiments that had passed between him and the healer, Belegwen decided to let the problem rest. She had more important things that needed to be said before she left for the lower caverns of the keep.

"Speaking of the battle," Belegwen said as she grunted, hefting his sword up from her side so that it rested on top of both her palms. She held it out towards him and said, "Rumil has asked me to return your sword to you. Valtaur has sharpened it, I checked. May it serve you well in battle." She said, releasing it into his hands, which had immediately grabbed onto the sword to help her with the weighty burden.

Belegwen watched as Haldir slowly drew the sword from its sheath to examine the workmanship. Stepping away from Belegwen for a few moments, he examined the edge closely in the light of one of the torches and then gave it a few practice swings to test its balance. Appearing pleased, he replaced the sword into its scabbard and reattached it to his hip, saying aloud, "Valtaur has done a fine job, as expected."

He lingered a few steps away from her, watching her carefully as she slowly approached him once again. Noticing that his crimson cape was partially flipped over the wrong way, Belegwen reached up with one hand and quickly adjusted it so that flowed over his shoulders correctly.

She also ran her fingers gently along the top of each of his warrior braids, checking to make sure they were still tight and would stay plaited during the battle. Haldir's eyes closed as she did this, appearing to enjoy the feeling of her fingers in his shiny golden hair. When he opened his eyes, Belegwen's hand had grazed the entire length of his ear and jaw, stopping to rest underneath his chin. Her eyes were looking into his own expectantly.

Haldir only waited a second before giving her what she wanted, his eyes lowering to look at her lips before kissing her tenderly. Belegwen enjoyed the kiss, bringing her other hand up to cradle his face while reveling in the feel of his hands, which caressed her waist. The power of their bond passed through them, causing a tingling sensation everywhere they touched.

His thoughts quickly began to brand her like hot iron. Through their bond, she could hear him telling himself that this would be their last kiss and fear shot through Belegwen like lightning as she heard it.

She tried to pull away and recriminate him for having such negative thoughts, but Haldir did not allow it. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her possessively and deepened their kiss. One of his hands slowly traveled up her back and became tangled in her hair as he kissed her passionately. A wave of pleasure shook Belegwen to the core as he gave her the parting kiss she had hoped for back in Lothlorien.

Haldir continued to kiss her, dipping her backwards to more fully access her lips. Belegwen lost herself completely within the moment, moaning into his mouth as his tongue stroked pleasurably against hers again and again. Every last drop of love Haldir felt for her was encapsulated in that kiss and she felt its power flow through every crevice of her body. It made her feel more alive than she had felt in years!

At last they parted, both of them breathing heavily and keeping their eyes closed. As Belegwen tried to regain control of her body, she felt Haldir lean his forehead against her own, his hot breath cascading across her face as they held one another in silence. A forlorn sorrow and a sense of mourning for what was about to be lost washed over them through the bond and both of them trembled beneath its weight.

She knew what he was going to do before he did it and tensed within his arms from the shock of it. "Belegwen…" she heard his hushed voice murmur between his ragged breaths.

Would he really say it now? Belegwen wanted to pull away from Haldir to look him in the eyes, but he held her close, their foreheads and noses touching as his golden hair lightly tickled her neck.

"I love you." Haldir whispered thickly, his voice full of desperation and longing. "I always have… and I always will."

Belegwen felt herself breaking apart underneath the power of his declaration. For so long, she had been uncertain as to whether or not he was capable of saying this. To do so under these conditions, when so much was about to be lost, was both beautiful and heart-wrenching at the same time.

"I love you too, hervenn." She admitted softly, hearing him inhale quickly upon hearing the word she used. Pleasure stirred within him because she had called him her husband for the first time and Belegwen was pleased to find that it thrilled him so. "I love you so much." She whispered frantically, holding back the tears that threatened to fall now that he had finally given her what she had needed for so long.

Within her mind's eye, Belegwen struggled undernearth the great pressure of Haldir's dark thoughts. To him, these were their last moments together and he had cared enough to try and give her everything she desired from him. Yet, it was not enough and he knew it. Haldir knew what Belegwen would be losing if he did not make it back from the battle. Trembling, she drew back from him a bit to see his face for a moment, then put her hands back on his face and closed her eyes. She quietly started to pray.

"Eru Iluvatar, please watch over Haldir tonight. Keep him safe from the evils he will face. Please send him back to me and the elfling. Please." She begged with a voice dripping full of emotion. She whispered the prayer with her lips rubbing against his cheek as she felt hot tears welling up within her eyes. Belegwen was barely able to hold her tears in check as she felt more and more desperate for his safety.

Belegwen did not want him to die! Not when everything had finally fallen into place! Not now that they were expecting a beautiful new ellon in a few months! Not now that Haldir had finally admitted out loud that he loved her! No!

_"_ _Please do not leave me!"_ She begged him within his mind. _"Please do not die!"_

_"_ _I will try, sweet warden. I will do everything within my power to return to you and the elfling."_ He answered back repeatedly, even though they both knew the situation would be out of his control. Still, he tried to reassure her, though his words did not match up with the thoughts that she could hear in his mind. _"I will try my best to come home to you and the ellon."_

A feeling of unease fell upon Belegwen as she started to believe that his negative thoughts might be foretelling a dark future for the three of them. Haldir responded to this by pulling her tightly against him. He held her as tightly as he could for a minute more. He lingered with her as he kissed her hairline sweetly and then shakily grasped her upper arms and slowly eased her body away from his.

Going down on one knee before her, he pulled her closer to him by grabbing her hips, bringing the unborn ellon within her directly in front of him. Gently, meeting eyes with Belegwen once more, he lifted up the tan healing robes to reveal her enlarged stomach. He placed his hands where the elfling dwelt within her and stroked the curve of her stomach a few times. Addressing the elfling, he whispered, "Your ada loves you too. Do not ever forget it, ion of mine."

After bestowing the gentlest of kisses to her midsection, Haldir quickly pulled the robes back into place over her stomach and stood up, turning away from her while he took a few minutes to calm down and get a hold of himself. In his mind, Belegwen could feel his walls going up once again and at this time, could not begrudge him this. If emotional walls were the thing that would allow Haldir to concentrate on his task tonight, she did not mind them in the slightest.

When he finally turned back to her, Belegwen could tell that she was staring at the marchwarden instead of her hervenn. His eyes were cold and unfeeling as he looked upon her once more. "Be safe tonight Belegwen. Do what you can to help Linedhel, but do not put yourself or the elfling into danger. Do you understand?"

"Yes Haldir," she said quietly. He gave her a nod and then beckoned her to follow him with a motion of his hand. He spun around to leave, his red cape billowing behind him. Belegwen hurried after him, nearly having to jog to keep up with his rigorous pace as he led them down the darkened hallway and up the stairs leading back to the keep.

Haldir led her all the way back to the darkened tunnel where the carts had disappeared into the keep. She felt his eyes watching her as she parted from him and heard the doors close behind her with a faint boom a few moments later.

ooOoo

Haldir felt a chill in the night air as he stared out into the darkness, the sound of thousands of boots marching in time echoing in his ears. They were gravely outnumbered; he could already tell. He was certain that the elves around him knew it as well. A feeling of foreboding washed over him as he knew what was about to come.

Needing to be certain of Belegwen's safety, Haldir quickly delved into her mind to make sure she was inside the keep. Indeed, she was. He could see that she was sitting on some sort of a barrel, watching as Linedhel cared for a child who appeared to have taken ill. He could also see Esgalamon eyeing Belegwen with annoyance, though he could tell that Belegwen was choosing to ignore him. Her hands were resting on the elfling within her as she sat quietly, waiting.

She was safe. Haldir was temporarily reassured, but caught a quick glance of her staring at him within his mind's eye before he brought himself fully back into his present.

She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and a severe look on her face. Indeed, her training had paid off. Haldir could tell that she had fully transformed into a marchwarden, as he had hoped she eventually would. _"I will watch the battle through your eyes."_ She said, unwavering as she stared at him.

Knowing that he could not easily stop her, Haldir said nothing and turned his attention back to the present. The ranks of orcs were quickly approaching. They carried their twisted metal weapons and great flaming torches as they marched closer to the keep, growing ever louder as they approached. A burst of lightning lit up the sky, revealing the ugly faces of the orcs momentarily before the sky darkened again. Thunder crackled loudly above them, adding to the menacing feeling of the night.

Haldir glanced to his left to see Rumil standing beside him. Their eyes met for a moment and Rumil nodded at him, a mutual understanding passing between the two of them. They would keep each other safe, as they always did in times like these. Still, Haldir felt a pang of unhindered remorse as he realized this would be the first battle he ever fought without Orophin by his side. The three brothers had dwindled down to two…

He hoped they could still say that when the battle was over.

His thoughts of Orophin were interrupted by the light tinkling sound of rain drops starting to fall from the dark clouds above them. Soon, the rain poured down on Haldir relentlessly, plastering his sodden hair to the sides of his face and the back of his neck uncomfortably. Below, the orcs started to pound the ground and scream at them, their bellowing battle cries interrupting the silence that had lingered amongst those positioned on the keep.

Haldir signaled with his hand for the elves to take up their bows and take aim. Once the men had started to shoot arrows at the orcs, he had them fire a series of volleys into the crowd of orcs below. They tried to clear out as many as they could, as quickly as they could, knowing that the soldiers would be safest if the orcs stayed on the ground.

The sound of arrows whipped through the air around Haldir as he took shot after shot at the orcs below, trying his best to ignore the screams of his wardens that echoed around him as they began to take fire from the enemy. There was no time for mourning or distraction. Haldir concentrated as he loaded his bow over and over again.

The battle of Helm's Deep had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the battle begin...


	46. Truth and Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the longest I've ever written in any of my fanfics: 26 pages! I can hardly believe I wrote such a beast of a chapter in a week's time! Please enjoy the latest installment of TBFF.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 46: Truth and Tears

From inside the keep, Belegwen watched through their bond as Haldir groaned and forced himself to get off the ground quickly. A minute ago, a large explosion had rattled the entire fortress and dropped almost every being on the keep to the ground: orcs, elves, and men alike. Everyone in the caves below had felt the entire fortress tremble as well. Many of the Edain children around her were screaming and crying, their mothers working tirelessly to try and calm them down.

_"_ _They are strong,"_ Belegwen thought to herself, admiring them momentarily as they held their children close and wiped away their tears. _"They do not show their sons and daughters the fear they harbor."_

Her eyes could not help but glance at Esgalamon once more, who was indeed still glaring at her. He had decidedly seen the elfling at this point and had received the news in a much different way than the other elves who had found out about it. Esgalamon was now looking at her with the reproach of one who greatly valued the traditions of the Eldar.

He disapproved of her actions.

Belegwen knew she would have to get used to these looks, as not every elf would agree with how she and Haldir had conducted themselves. They had both broken the warden's code and forgone the traditional wedding ceremony of the Eldar. They had not said their vows before Eru Iluvatar, as all the other married elves in Lothlorien had, and Esgalamon was judging them for it. Though she had tried to ignore the condemnation in his eyes, it still hurt Belegwen a bit to know that something as pure as her love for Haldir could be looked down upon in this manner.

Doing her best to ignore Esgalamon while refocusing on the battle, Belegwen caught sight of Haldir's view once more. She watched as he spit dust out of his mouth and quickly surveyed the scene before him, pulling his sword up into a readied stance.

Haldir ached all over; she could feel the burn of his muscles. Pain was lingering within him from having run into several orcs and uruk-hai at this point, as well as from cleaving orc after orc with powerful swings of his sword. There was also a new pain growing within him from being pelted and cut by fragments of brick during the explosion.

Still he pushed on, running up to Rumil to help pull him off the ground. Rumil appeared disoriented for a moment, but did get onto his feet with Haldir's assistance. Belegwen could see a shallow gash covering the top of Rumil's forehead that was starting to bleed. Haldir wiped the blood away from his brother's forehead with his rain-soaked hand before adjusting the grip on his sword and pushing Rumil to the side so he could attack an orc that was approaching his brother from behind.

His sword flashed in front of his eyes as lightning lit up the sky once again. Haldir shouted as he beheaded the orc before him with one double-handed swing of his sword. The orcs were now getting up again and beginning to swarm around the elves and men once more as additional ladders continued to appear at the top of the keep.

Belegwen gasped as Haldir grabbed the top of the nearest ladder and started to push it back towards the ground. An uruk-hai who was near the top of the ladder swung a crude metal weapon at Haldir. He narrowly missed Haldir's arm before starting to scream as the ladder fell backwards towards the ground.

With Rumil joining him at his side, Haldir charged into a large melee of orcs, elves, and men, clashing swords with orc after orc in a stunning display of strength and valor that Belegwen marveled at from her spot within the caves. Truly, the Lorien brothers were both devastating warriors, leaving a trail of evil's carnage in their wake as they battled on and on, never stopping or faltering in their duty.

Slash after slash, she watched as Haldir raged through the crowd, battling each orc he came upon amidst the heavy rains of the thunderstorm. Belegwen admired his capable body and the sheer willpower he had to press on through the physical and emotional pain of the endeavor. Though elves and men fell around him, he paid them no heed, focusing instead on mortally wounding the evils that surrounded him.

He was focused.

In Belegwen's eyes, he was magnificent.

Fighting back to back with Rumil, the two defended one another, much in the same way that he had fought alongside Belegwen when they had faced the warg riders. While Haldir could not determine in advance what Rumil would do, both brothers were familiar enough with one another that they could fight confidently in this manner and for several minutes, they did. Blow after blow, they defended one another from the unending onslaught of orcs clattering up the massive ladders.

As fate would have it though, Rumil ended up drawn away from Haldir by a particularly large and persistent uruk-hai. He purposelfully lured Rumil away from Haldir and started to try and push him over the wall of the keep with the help of the large metal bar he wielded as a weapon. Rumil struggled against the monster's brute strength, bracing himself as best he could against the wall of the keep to prevent himself from falling.

The moment Haldir lost sight of his brother, he panicked. Making quick work of the two orcs he was dealing with, Haldir ran towards the uruk-hai who was trying to force Rumil over the edge and beheaded him with ease. A look of relief was present in Rumil's eyes as he acknowledged Haldir with a pat on the arm before launching himself back into the battle.

Haldir followed, stopping only when he heard one of the humans shouting for him to call the soldiers back from the keep. Belegwen heard Haldir's voice booming through the night, commanding all the elves to fall back. Immediately, she saw them obey and run towards the entry points of the fortress, striking at orcs with their swords and long knives to blaze trails towards their destinations.

He motioned to Rumil to go to the keep as well. Belegwen listened as they argued for a moment, Rumil clearly not wanting to leave Haldir's side. Haldir insisted though and Rumil eventually bowed to the will of the marchwarden, turning away from him even though Belegwen and Haldir could tell it was the last thing he wanted to do.

Belegwen watched through Haldir's eyes as Rumil ran towards the keep. Yet Haldir lingered, shouting and making his way through the crowd to try and attract the attention of more elves who had not heard the command through the noise of the storm and the cracking of metal hitting metal.

He refused to leave any of his soldiers behind.

Haldir cleaved orc after orc as he tried to call all the elves in, but with the numbers of the resistance dwindling as they obeyed his command, the number of orcs around him became too great. Belegwen started to feel alarmed and stood up as she realized what was about to happen, though there was nothing she could do to stop it. As Haldir took yet another orc to the ground, a second one approached him and landed a painful blow to his forearm, the jagged metal of his weapon cutting straight through his armor and into his bone.

Belegwen and Haldir both screamed as they were barraged with the pain that started coursing through his arm. Haldir drew his arm against his body and quickly stabbed the orc that had wounded him. He was gasping in pain as he turned to try and regain knowledge of his surroundings, still shocked that he had been wounded.

Trapped between her reality and her mind's eye, Belegwen was only minutely aware of Linedhel and Esgalamon rushing up to her. She could see they were both in front of her, speaking to her, but she could not hear their words. All she could hear were the sounds of the battle that continued around her. She could barely feel their hands gripping her shoulders, but instead was focused on the excruciating pain in Haldir's arm.

Haldir was disoriented and struggled to continue on while trying to deal with the pain in his arm. His ears were throbbing, the sounds of the battle blasting in and out of his hearing repeatedly. Belegwen panicked as a wave of dizziness passed through him, blurring his vision momentarily. He swayed as he tried to stay on his feet.

He was too busy dealing with the pain to see the final uruk-hai arrive behind him…

They both screamed again as Haldir took a terrible blow to his back, the pressure and pain of it rendering him completely helpless and bringing him quickly to his knees. Belegwen felt her legs collapse beneath her as well and watched as Esgalamon and Linedhel caught her and lowered her to the ground, both of them looking panicked now. She watched as Linedhel put his hand to her forehead and vaguely felt him trying to heal her.

She wasn't the one who needed healing though.

Belegwen watched as Haldir stared at the pile of dead beings before him. There were orcs, men, and several of their own soldiers lying wide-eyed and still to the world on the ground before him. Pain of a different sort washed over him as he blamed himself for the soldiers' deaths. If only he had done a better job of leading them, she heard him think to himself, perhaps they would still be breathing now.

He grew cold and weak. Belegwen could feel him fading fast and could hear the sound of the sea billowing into his ears. Not knowing what else to do, she fully entered her mind's eye approached his broken body. She watched him tremble as she bent over him slowly, a look of horror plastered upon her face.

The damage he had sustained went well beyond what she was capable of healing. He was too far gone now; she desperately tried to think of something that might save him, though she knew in her heart that there was nothing she could do.

All her coherent thoughts were forgotten though as his uninjured hand weakly reached up, as if to touch her one last time. Belegwen quickly knelt down before him and grabbed that hand, squeezing it tightly to her chest with both of her own. _"No…"_ She murmured airily, her eyes wide with fear for him as she listened to him struggle for air.

His mouth started to open, his jaw trembling as he tried to speak to her, but no words came out. _"Save your strength,"_ Belegwen whispered, pulling one of her hands away from where she clutched his against her chest. She lightly touched his face, rubbing her fingers over his lips as he shook helplessly beneath her. _"You need not say anything right now."_

_"_ _No…"_ She heard him choke out, _"You must… see."_

Belegwen watched in horror as a droplet of blood appeared at the edge of his mouth and started to trickle down the side of his face. She felt the hand she had pushed against her chest move once more, grabbing her chin shakily and bringing her face closer to his.

_"_ _See how I've… loved you… forever."_ He sputtered, more blood dripping from his mouth as he reached for her forehead. When he touched her there, a series of memories flowed through her mind. Old memories of his from when they had first met…

ooOoo

Haldir could barely think straight from the pain of his wounds, but he wanted Belegwen to finally know the extent of his true feelings for her and he knew this was his last chance. He did not have the strength to tell her the story with words though. Thus, he started by showing her the memory he had of the day they first met…

_Birds chirped as sunlight glistened through the golden treetops at the northern border of fair Lothlorien. After running back through the treetops, Haldir jumped down from a high branch and landed back onto the leaf-shaped talan he worked from with a small thunk._

_He was carrying three damaged hithlain ropes and a small assortment of knives and daggers that were blunt. He had brought them over for Marchwarden Annondel to inspect, as he had been commanded to inspect and inventory the equipment on five nearby talans and report back to him immediately with anything that needed replaced. The ropes certainly needed replaced, but Haldir was uncertain about the knives and daggers. Surely a quick trip to the blacksmith's shop could salvage those, right?_

_He walked quickly around the corner to see if Annondel was waiting for him with Bragolith when he suddenly stopped upon seeing an unfamiliar face. There before him stood a rather youthful elleth of average height, dressed in a simple lavender gown that clung to the top half of her slender form in a very pleasing manner. What really caught his attention was her silver hair, which practically glowed as bits of sunlight flowed through the leaves, illuminating it before his wide blue eyes._

_Dearest Valar, she was the most beautiful elleth Haldir had ever seen!_

_When her blue eyes met his own though, he could see that something was wrong with her, for her face held no joy whatsoever. Her eyes were sad, as if she had not been given anything to smile about in a long time. Immediately, Haldir wondered if there was anything he could do to help her._

_"_ _Haldir, we have a guest my friend!" He heard Bragolith call out to him cheerfully, standing up and stepping out from behind the elleth with a mischievous look on his face that Haldir had come to know all too well and had learned to dread._

_"_ _This is the lady Belegwen, Lord Celeborn's ward. She has accompanied him to the border today to get a change of scenery. Belegwen, this is Haldir. He is my friend of old and we have shared this watch talan together for many years now." Bragolith said, smacking Haldir on the back for good measure._

_Trying not to become too flustered over her beauty, Haldir gave a small nod to the young elleth and said calmly, "Welcome Belegwen. It is nice to make your acquaintance."_

_"_ _Likewise, Haldir," she replied with a nod. Belegwen looked as though she was about to say something more to him, only to be interrupted by Bragolith openly putting his arm around her shoulders and smoothly starting to walk her away from Haldir and towards the talan's edge. Haldir watched her face and noticed that she appeared to be very annoyed with this treatment. If Bragolith noticed this though, he chose not to acknowledge it because he left his arm around her even when they had gotten fairly close to the talan's edge._

_"_ _So, what do you think of the scenery, my lady? Does it suit you?" He asked, standing entirely too close to her for her liking while puffing himself up to try and impress her somehow. Haldir rolled his eyes at the show his friend was putting on for her. Bragolith was definitely laying it on thick today._

_Belegwen did not look impressed though. Really, she just looked irritated and uncomfortable. Haldir watched as she carefully extracted herself from his grip while saying, "It is nice enough, but I would much prefer to explore it for myself, thanks." She then turned to walk away, but not before Bragolith had blown her a kiss, which seemed to further exasperate her. Immediately, she took herself out of the uncomfortable situation and walked away from the wardens._

_"_ _Good going. You deserved that." Haldir mouthed to Bragolith as he shrugged off her rejection, trying not to appear ruffled by it. Bragolith was not used to being denied, as his handsome looks and 'friendliness' were very popular with ellyth in Caras Galadhon._

_"_ _You try then, if you are such an expert!" He mouthed back, crossing his arms and watching Haldir closely, waiting for him to pass on his challenge as he always did. Haldir had never been one to flirt with ellyth or put on some big show for them. It was simply not his way of doing things._

_Haldir was getting rather sick of Bragolith's attitude recently and decided right then and there that he would indeed approach Belegwen, even if he was not capable of flirting as Bragolith did. With that thought in mind, Haldir watched as Belegwen walked to a different side of the talan and stood there peering into the distance. Haldir put down the weapons and rope he had gathered for Marchwarden Annondel and then raised his eyebrows at Bragolith before walking over to her._

_"_ _Have you ever been to the border before Belegwen?" Haldir asked her, coming to stand beside her at a safe distance, resting his hands comfortably behind his back. She looked curiously at him for a second and then, noticing his much different approach, seemed to relax a bit._

_"_ _No, this is the first time I have ever left Caras Galadhon." She replied quietly. "Lord Celeborn thinks that since I am about to come of age, I should familiarize myself with more of Lothlorien. That is why he invited me to accompany him on this journey today."_

_"_ _And what do you think of fair Lorien so far?" Haldir asked, smiling at her as she stared into the distance. Silently, he admired how the wind was blowing strands of her glorious silver hair around behind her. It looked soft as silk and shiny like precious metal. Oh, how Haldir wished he could touch that hair, even if it was just for a second!_

_"_ _The forest was lovely, if not a bit lonely. I fear I have become very used to the hustle and bustle of city life. It was almost a bit too quiet for my taste as we journeyed out here this morning." She said gently. While she did not look over at him while speaking, Haldir could see her countenance softening while she conversed with him._

_He smiled, looking over at her as he replied. "It can be quiet, yes, but I think if you watch carefully, you will find the forest teaming with life, just in a much different way than in the city. The animals and plants are very much alive and active. You simply need to know what you are looking for to see it."_

_Getting an idea, Haldir walked to the other side of the talan and climbed onto an easily accessible branch of the tree. He turned back and saw Belegwen watching him curiously. Signaling for her to come and join him, Haldir smiled as he saw what he was looking for. While she first appeared a bit indecisive about approaching, Belegwen did eventually walk over to join him._

_Haldir held out his hand to her, hoping she would accept his help onto the branch. Still, he was surprised when her lithe hand took ahold of his own, causing him to exhale quickly as his stomach filled with butterflies. Belegwen's hand was pleasantly soft and warm. Her hand fit comfortably into his larger hand and Haldir was able to pull her onto the upper branch with ease._

_Once she was balanced on the same level as him, Haldir held a finger up to his lips and then carefully pointed out a parliament of owls sleeping in a nearby tree hollow. They admired them for a few minutes and then Haldir pointed out a couple of foxes scurrying through the shrubbery below them, their orange and white-tipped tails brushing through the plants behind them. He next pointed out a kaleidoscope of multicolored butterflies passing through the grasslands outside the border and a gaggle of geese that flew in a v-shaped formation above them._

_Every time he pointed something out, he watched as Belegwen's eyes marveled at them. He wondered if she had ever seen anything like this before in her short life. Since she was only 49 and had never left the city before, perhaps it was all new to her. After pointing out a few more insects and a couple of wild horses roaming the plains, Haldir jumped back onto the talan from the branch and offered Belegwen a hand to help her down._

_Belegwen did not want to be helped though; Haldir watched in shock as Belegwen jumped down just as he had, landing rather gracefully next to him on the platform. She was brave, this elleth! This impressed Haldir, as he had never seen an elleth do something quite like that before._

_"_ _Do you now see how our forest teams with life? There is no loneliness to be had here Belegwen. Things are always happening if you look for them." Haldir said with a smile, and for a brief second, he thought he might have seen her smile too._

_While her face was once again serious, Belegwen still looked more confidently at Haldir than she ever had before when she answered. "I do see it now. Thank you Haldir, that was wonderful. You must be very observant to notice those things so easily."_

_Haldir beamed with pride at her compliment. "I am a warden of Lothlorien, my lady. It is my job to notice and observe."_

_Belegwen looked at him for a minute, appearing to study him closely, which perplexed Haldir. "Have we met before Haldir? You look very familiar to me."_

_"_ _Not that I know of, my lady." He answered, wondering if she had seen him around the city before. Haldir was certain that he would have remembered such beauty as hers if they had met before. "Perhaps you have seen me in Caras Galadhon before?"_

_"_ _Perhaps…" she muttered, looking unconvinced. Haldir could tell she was still trying to figure out where she may have met him before._

_"_ _Perhaps you have caught sight of me as well, my lady!" Bragolith chimed in as he approached them once again, apparently unwilling to give up on Belegwen's attentions. "Many have said that I am fair to the eye. Do you not agree?" He asked, taking her hand in his own and laying a kiss upon it after winking at her._

_Oh, Bragolith… Haldir rolled his eyes as Belegwen walked away from them once more without answering. "She thinks you are being disrespectful," He silently mouthed to his friend, "She is Lord Celeborn's ward—you are going to get us both in trouble with Annondel!"_

_Indeed, Haldir was worried because it would not be the first time Bragolith had drawn him into a troublesome situation. Marchwarden Annondel was adept at sniffing out misbehavior, having transformed hundreds of irresponsible young ellyn into hardened warriors at this point. Haldir did not want to be in trouble again; he had already suffered through running many laps around the training grounds on account of Bragolith's shenanigans!_

_"_ _Why do you get to have all the fun? It is not fair!" Bragolith mouthed back to him, seemingly whining. Haldir knew precisely why; Belegwen was a beautiful elleth who was not returning his attentions, which only made Bragolith want to try for them even more. What he could not see was that doing such was certain to make her dislike him all the more. It was obvious to Haldir that Belegwen was not the sort of elleth who enjoyed flirting…_

_Well, at least not the kind of flirting that Bragolith enjoyed. Dearest Valar, Haldir could not for the life of him understand how he could be so incredibly forward with every single elleth he met!_

_Just as he was getting ready to continue arguing with Bragolith, a soft voice interrupted his train of thought. "Are you an archer Haldir?"_

_The wardens turned to find Belegwen holding up a quiver full of arrows, inspecting one arrow that she had pulled from the bunch directly in front of her face. Immediately, both wardens rushed over in a panic, Bragolith taking the quiver and Haldir carefully pulling the arrow from her hand._

_"_ _My lady, you must be careful! These are not training arrows, but arrows that are designed to maim and kill enemies. They are to be handled with the utmost care." Bragolith explained, waiting for Haldir to add the last arrow back into the quiver before leaning it against the tree trunk once more._

_"_ _Lord Celeborn would be most displeased with us if you were to become injured." Haldir said as he saw her look of disappointment. "A budding interest in archery would be best explored with a beginner's bow and training arrows within the city."_

_"_ _May I at least look at your bow then? I have never seen a Galadhrim bow up close." Belegwen said, looking at Haldir with eyes that pleaded for this small concession. Unable to determine a way Belegwen could hurt herself with it, Haldir unhooked his bow from his back and handed it to her._

_This time her smile was well-defined and true! Haldir was greatly pleased that he had been able to make this beautiful elleth smile at last. Belegwen was even lovelier with a smile on her face and internally, Haldir secretly promised himself to be the ellon who made her smile like that again and again._

_Haldir watched as her fingers traced the elaborate carvings along the cherry-stained wood of his bow. She seemed to be mesmerized by it. "Would you like for me to show you how to hold it?" He asked._

_Belegwen nodded and Haldir went about showing her precisely what to do, enjoying the feeling of her fingers brushing against his own as he helped her place her hand in the correct spot to hold the bow. He had her practice holding the bow in a resting position and then showed her how to bring it up into a ready position for firing. Next, he described how to nock and release an arrow properly. Belegwen held on to every word he said, proving herself to be an attentive student. He was just taking her through an exercise to discover which of her eyes was the dominant one when Lord Celeborn and Marchwarden Annondel jumped from a nearby mallorn branch onto their talan._

_"_ _Ah, I believe we have stumbled upon an archery lesson, Annondel." Lord Celeborn said with a smile, looking at the two of them with eyes that sparkled knowingly._

_Surely he did not realize how much Haldir was enjoying her company though… Right?_

_"_ _Has Haldir proven to be a proficient archery teacher Belegwen?" Marchwarden Annondel asked, crossing his arms in front of him. He was also staring at Haldir with a look that told him Annondel knew precisely what was going on here. Haldir felt his face flush as he realized that both Lord Celeborn and the marchwarden knew that he was smitten with the young elleth beside him._

_"_ _Oh yes! Haldir has taught me much about the bow this afternoon." Belegwen replied with happiness woven into her voice. She looked between Lord Celeborn and Annondel for a moment, before asking, "Perhaps, with both of your permissions, I might be allowed to try and shoot an arrow on my own?"_

_"_ _I have no problem with it, but it is up to Annondel, as he is in charge of these borders." Lord Celeborn replied, leaving the choice up to his marchwarden._

_"_ _Hmm… I suppose it has been a quiet enough day to allow this. I still have a few training arrows on my watch talan. You may take a shot with one of them." He replied, then quickly jumped into the branches to go fetch one. A couple minutes later he returned with an arrow that appeared to have a dull tip, as well as a small target that he directed Bragolith to bring to the ground and place in the field below._

_Handing Haldir the arrow, Annondel stepped back and said, "Belegwen, when Bragolith gives the all clear, you may take your shot."_

_Bragolith's whistle rang out through the air and Belegwen stepped to the edge of the talan with Haldir following closely behind her. He watched as she got into the stance he had demonstrated to her earlier. "Here is where you will nock the arrow." He said, pointing to the middle of the bowstring._

_He watched as she carefully readied the arrow, then started to try and pull the bowstring back as he had described. This was no training bow though and the tension on the string was great. Haldir watched as Belegwen struggled to try and pull it back. She was not making much progress, but she looked incredibly determined and was not giving up._

_Not knowing what to do, Haldir became a bit flustered and then looked behind him to see Bragolith moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively while mimicking pulling her close and shooting the arrow._

_Haldir blushed. He was going to throttle Bragolith once Lord Celeborn and Belegwen left._

_The other two elves were no better though. "Help her," mouthed Annondel, nodding and moving his hand vigorously through the air to indicate that Haldir should turn back towards her. Lord Celeborn even gestured for him to turn around and get close to her._

_Haldir was very embarrassed. They all wanted him to help her, but he was going to have to get really close to her to do so. After having seen how she reacted to Bragolith, he was not certain that Belegwen would appreciate this._

_"_ _The tension is very strong on my bow." He said nervously as he watched her continue to try and pull the string back, gritting her teeth with utter determination. "Perhaps I could assist you?"_

_Frustrated, Belegwen nodded and allowed Haldir to step directly behind her. He carefully placed his hands over her own and stepped even closer to her yet, inhaling deeply as he felt her tiny body up against his own. He felt himself flush more as he realized precisely how much he was enjoying this and how embarrassing it was to have so many elves present while he discovered he had feelings for her._

_His mind calmed a little though when the wind blew Belegwen's silvery hair against his cheek. Having wanted to touch it for a while now, Haldir marveled at how soft it was. It was just as sleek and smooth as he had imagined it would be. There was some sort of floral fragrance lingering in her tresses as well. Now that Haldir was close to her, he could smell it and he found it intoxicating._

_Dearest Valar, what was this elleth doing to him?!_

_Quickly, before he lost all his senses, Haldir helped her draw the arrow back and held it there for her while she worked on aiming it. Through the fog of his mounting desire, Haldir vaguely noticed that she was using her dominant eye, just as he had directed._

_"_ _Say when and I will release both of our hands at the same time. Be careful not to pull your hand sideways or we will affect the trajectory of the arrow as we release it." He said, trying to concentrate against all odds as her backside rubbed enticingly against his upper thigh._

_Oh dear Valar…_

_"_ _Now!" Belegwen suddenly cried out and immediately, Haldir released their entwined hands simultaneously. They both listened to the whooshing sound it made, followed by a light thwap. Both of them were silent as they stood frozen together, looking down at where the arrow had landed. She was still so close to him that Haldir almost thought he could feel her heart beating._

_Then it was over much too soon. Belegwen stepped away from him with a celebratory jump, pulling the bow from his hands and clutching it against her bosom. A bright smile adorned her face as she looked at Haldir and exclaimed, "I have hit the target on my first try! That was so exciting! Thank you Haldir!"_

_Haldir took a few seconds to enjoy her appreciation of him, though he was still chanting to himself 'she is only 49' over and over again within his mind. It did not seem to be reducing his desire for her though as he had hoped it would. Holding her against him had been torture—sweet, delicious torture that had awoken something inside Haldir that he had never felt before. The whole thing scared him a little, if he was quite honest with himself._

_That smile made the whole thing worthwhile though. Her beautiful, glowing smile._

_Even as he watched Annondel boost her up onto the dapple grey horse she was riding several minutes later, Haldir saw that her smile had not dissipated. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her look up at his talan and wave at him before riding off side-saddle, quickly catching up to Lord Celeborn's horse. He watched until the two faded into the distance._

_"_ _You should see yourself. You look like a love-struck pup!" Bragolith teased as he gave Haldir another hearty pat on the back. Brotherly roughhousing ensued as Bragolith continued to tease him about Belegwen until Marchwarden Annondel was forced to come to their talan and separate them. They were each assigned ten laps around the training grounds upon their return to Caras Galadhon. The teasing only became worse though when they heard Annondel muttering under his breath about how 'every time an elleth arrived at the border, at least one of the wardens lost his damn mind over her.'_

_Soon the ten laps became twenty, but this time Haldir did not grumble about how Bragolith kept getting him in trouble. Instead, his thoughts drifted to the silver-haired youngling he had gotten to smile._

_The treetops of the golden mellryn faded into a new scene, one where Haldir was waiting on the forest floor in a garden, smoothing down the front of his tunic after checking to make sure his hair was in place. He wanted to make sure he looked his best for the dance lesson Lord Celeborn had invited him to participate in with Belegwen._

_Haldir had just arrived back in Caras Galadhon from his watch a few days prior and had been astonished to have Lord Celeborn himself turn up at the door to his quarters in the warden's halls. He had personally come to invite him to Belegwen's coming of age party, which he had agreed to attend, as well as to help Belegwen practice a few dances before the party, which he was about to do now._

_Right on time, Haldir watched as Lord Celeborn and Belegwen came down the stairway that led to the garden, followed by a harpist that Haldir had never met before. His eyes lingered on Belegwen though, who was wearing a sky blue dress today with a collar that rested just below her shoulders and fluttering short sleeves made of organza. Haldir's eyes lingered momentarily on her exposed arms and collarbone and suddenly found himself filled with desire once again. If only he could touch that collarbone, perhaps running his lips along it reverently…_

_He swallowed as she walked towards him. Something about this elleth made him lose control of himself at times. He was going to have to force himself to utilize self-restraint around her in order to maintain propriety._

_"_ _Haldir, it is nice to see you again." Belegwen said in greeting while wearing a serious, unsmiling face just as she had when he first met her. And just as he had that day, Haldir took this as a personal challenge for him to make her smile once more._

_"_ _Likewise, Belegwen. You are looking well today." He replied nervously, doing his best to push away his lustful thoughts and enjoy the moment. It became harder though when she stood in front of him, the heady floral scent of her hair wafting into his nose once again._

_"_ _I trust the remaining time you had at the border was not trying?" She asked him as she carefully inspected him from head to toe with her blue eyes._

_Haldir briefly wondered if Belegwen found him as attractive as he found her. He was not wearing his uniform today, but instead had donned a fine white tunic with a black belt atop it, a pair of navy blue leggings, and his usual black boots, which he had polished for this occasion. He had left his hair unbraided today, having simply tucked a few annoying strands behind his ears that had been blowing into his face earlier._

_"_ _Um… yes. We did not run into any difficulties during our fortnight and everyone returned home safely." He said, completely avoiding the topic of how Bragolith had told Orophin of his fondness for Belegwen and how the two had incessantly teased him about it for the past week. Good thing they knew nothing about this dance lesson. Haldir knew that if they caught wind of this, he would never hear the end of it._

_"_ _Are you ready Khilrom?" Lord Celeborn asked the harpist, who had quickly set up his instrument and was sitting on one of the taller brick walls of the garden with his harp settled comfortably between his knees. He nodded to Lord Celeborn, who then turned his attention to the young couple on the patio in front of him._

_"_ _Good afternoon Haldir; I am glad you could join us today." He said with a smile, then continued, "I have been teaching Belegwen to dance for several years now, but I think this final test will prove whether or not there is more work for me yet. Today we shall see how she does with a new partner. Take your positions please."_

_Haldir carefully reached for Belegwen's hand, entwining his fingers with hers while secretly enjoying how soft her palm felt against his own. Belegwen's other hand came to rest delicately on his shoulder as he set his own hand down on her tiny waist. Her skin's warmth could be felt through the sheer material of her dress and it quickly started to drive Haldir to the brink of insanity._

_Their matching blue eyes met in that moment and suddenly, Haldir found his confidence. Before he realized what he was doing, he winked at the attractive face that was staring up at him and immediately realized he had made a mistake, as her gaze moved down to his feet and her body stiffened up underneath his touch._

_"_ _Belegwen, you must let Haldir lead, just as we have practiced. Submit yourself to where he wants to go on the dance floor," he reminded her, quickly inspecting the two of them before he cued Khilrom to start playing. "Chin up, my dear; we always look our dance partners in the eye."_

_Her blue eyes bore a look of determination as they met his own. Her demeanor had quickly changed from pleasant to brooding as the music began and Haldir wondered whether it was he or the dancing that she detested._

_He started to feel uneasy as he recalled a conversation he had overheard earlier in the market about how Lord Celeborn's ward had a rebellious streak within her that had shown more and more in recent years. Haldir had not seen this side of her yet, but the look on her face gave him the impression that he might see it soon._

_Haldir listened for the beat and then started to move Belegwen into a familiar dance pattern, one he had performed many times over the years. They struggled through it as Haldir realized how true Lord Celeborn's words had been; Belegwen wanted to lead the dance. From time to time it felt as if they were fighting against one another for control._

_Two things became very obvious to Haldir over the next few minutes: Belegwen liked to be in charge and have control over things. Neither of those things were hers to have during a partner dance though. Thus she struggled, causing Haldir to stumble in turn, though he was normally a very competent dancer._

_She was a challenge, but Haldir was not about to give up. He quickly switched to a much less familiar dance and smiled when he noticed that Belegwen did not seem to be familiar with this one and was forced to follow his lead. However, this change seemed to make her frown all the more, much to Haldir's consternation._

_Haldir tried to engage her and make the dance fun, twirling her several times and drawing her temptingly close to himself to make the dance more interesting. As he heard the song concluding, Haldir went to dip her downward and noticed a change in her countenance. It was an almost mischievous look that adorned her face, which Haldir had never seen before._

_That was when she dropped the hammer on him via the thin, pointy heel of her shoe. It landed painfully atop his boot, right over his smallest toes. Yelping with surprise, it took all the control Haldir had to not drop her on the ground as he dealt with the blinding pain coming from his foot._

_How could an elleth who weighed so little bring down her foot so hard?! Tears filled Haldir's eyes as he awkwardly pushed Belegwen upright and stumbled away, finding a seat on the wall next to Khilrom and quickly removing his boot to assess the damage. Once he pulled his sock off, he saw it—two black and blue toes right in the middle of his foot, possibly broken._

_"_ _Oh dear… Should I go fetch a healer Haldir?" Lord Celeborn asked, kneeling down beside him to inspect the damage. Haldir looked up to see Belegwen, speechless and blushing deeply with both of her hands covering her mouth and an expression of shock on her face. Haldir knew she had done that on purpose, but got the distinct impression that she had not actually intended on injuring him. That part of the fiasco had truly been an accident._

_"_ _I think I will head there on my own, but thank you for the offer." Haldir muttered grumpily, his whole foot throbbing in pain. He was very wary of his injury while putting on his sock and boot again, trying his best not to jostle the injured toes._

_As he stood up and started to limp towards the stairwell, he was stopped by a delicate hand that tapped his shoulder awkwardly from behind. Belegwen was standing behind him, looking thoroughly embarrassed with herself. "Haldir, I apologize. I did not mean to break your toes. Would you like for me to help you to the healing talan?" She asked with a guilty look on her face._

_Haldir sighed with frustration and shook his head. "No thank you. I will go on my own." He said, then quickly hobbled away from her before she could do anything else to him._

_The scene blurred again and switched to a large garden party on the same patio where Belegwen and Haldir had danced a week prior. It was night and there were delicate lanterns hanging from several of the flowering trees and sitting on top of tables as several elves mulled about. Stars could be seen through the clearing in between several large mellyrn trees; they sparkled magnificently above the crowd that mingled amongst the blooming flowers of the garden. Some were peacefully dancing on an open dance floor to Khilrom's harp music, while others sat at tables or stood around eating hors d'oeuvres and speaking amongst one another._

_It was Belegwen's coming of age party, which would continue on well into the night. Having turned 50 years old, she was now recognized as an adult elleth and was dressed as such. Haldir had admired her dress several times from afar. She was wearing an elegant midnight blue gown that clung tightly to her thin figure in all the right places, revealing just the slightest hint of her cleavage, which Haldir had not been privy to seeing before tonight. Her matching sleeves and dress train, which was pinned in a bustle at her knees, were both made of see-through organza and were decorated with a leaf-pattern of tiny silver beads._

_Belegwen's hair was intricately braided tonight. A sea of tiny silver braids had been twisted into a delicate crown that looped around her head. There was still plenty of silver hair that cascaded freely down to her backside though, shiny and gorgeous as ever._

_While she had definitely caught his eye once again, Haldir had chosen to sit in the background for a majority of the party, sipping wine and eating delicacies while watching Belegwen with curiosity._

_Honestly, had he not already told Lord Celeborn that he would attend the celebration, he would not have come after the foot stomping fiasco that occurred a week prior. However, he was an ellon of his word and had gotten dressed up in a finely embroidered forest green tunic with black leggings and came to the party, stopping to congratulate Belegwen as he entered. She had once again been apologetic and he had thanked her for her concern, reassuring her that his foot would indeed survive the ordeal, before peeling away to watch her from a safe distance._

_Haldir knew he would definitely not be asking to dance with her tonight. Belegwen did not seem very interested in dancing anyway, as he had only seen her on the dance floor twice during the last two hours, both times with ellyn who did not seem particularly interested in her. She had mostly mingled with her guests and stood around listening to elves that were recanting stories for fun, which seemed to hold her interest for quite a while._

_Now, he saw that she was alone and lingering at the refreshment table. He watched as she picked up a delicate glass of red wine, looked around for a moment to see if anyone was watching her, then slipped behind a tree and into the darkened forest. Haldir gasped, as it was a well-known fact that straying from the forest paths was frowned upon in Lothlorien, as it had led to elves getting lost and stuck in perilous situations in the past, particularly when it was dark out._

_Did Belegwen realize she was putting herself into danger? Haldir was uncertain, but found himself quickly walking across the dance floor to try and catch up to her before she wandered too deeply into the darkness. However, by the time he made it to the forest's edge, she had already disappeared into the night._

_Haldir glanced out at the crowd, just as Belegwen had, to try and ensure that no one would watch as he slipped out into the night. After all, he did not want to get in trouble for breaking the rules, but he knew he needed to bring Belegwen back to the safe confines of the garden. It turned out that he did not need to go far though, as he stumbled over her abandoned high heels after taking a few more steps into the darkness._

_"_ _Belegwen?" He called out quietly, not wanting to draw the attention of any of the partygoers to himself. She did not answer him, but he caught sight of her after a few twigs and loose pieces of bark tumbled down from the mallorn tree he stood underneath. She was climbing high up into the tree, once again amazing Haldir as he had never seen an elleth climb a tree thusly. How did she do that, especially while wearing a tight dress? Even the wardens on the border usually chose to use ladders, as it was much easier than free climbing a mallorn!_

_How had she gotten up there so quickly?!_

_Quickly downing the wine in his hand, Haldir set down his glass beside her abandoned shoes and set about climbing after her. It took him twice as long as her to scale the mallorn, but eventually he reached the top of the tree and settled himself on a limb near the one she was on._

_He looked over at her, fascinated by how she had gotten up the tree, bringing a full glass of wine with her somehow! Haldir admired her lithe form, which was leaned up against the trunk of the tree, her legs crossed delicately on the limb she sat upon while she gazed up at the moon longingly._

_Surely this was the most beautiful elleth that had ever been created, Haldir thought to himself as he saw how the moonlight washed over her creamy, porcelain skin and lit up her blue eyes and rose-colored lips. Her hair shined beneath the light, feeding his new obsession with her._

_"_ _How did you climb this tree without spilling your wine?" Haldir asked curiously, unable to take his eyes off her._

_She was breathtaking._

_"_ _I balanced it on my head as I went up." She said mysteriously, then demonstrated how she had set the glass in the middle of her braided crown, looking as if it was a very natural thing for her. "The poise and balance of an elleth are unmatched by ellyn."_

_"_ _I have two toes that could argue with that assessment," Haldir replied with amusement, causing Belegwen to flinch and look rather embarrassed. Her violent reaction made him feel guilty for bringing it up, though he had not fully forgiven her actions yet. "It is no matter. They will be as good as new in a couple of weeks."_

_"_ _You have my sincerest apologies once again Haldir, for I did not mean to injure you. I was merely trying to escape a most unwelcome dance lesson." Belegwen replied, looking back up to the moon with an unknown desire lingering in her eyes. "Lord Celeborn has been trying to get me to fall in love with a wide variety of ellyn for the last few weeks and it has become an area of contention between us. Even tonight, he has sent several my way with the hopes of swaying me from my life's true intentions."_

_Haldir could tell that she was greatly bothered by this and was uncertain of how to proceed in the conversation. It was especially awkward because of his own feelings for her and Lord Celeborn's very obvious intentions. He finally managed to reply and said, "Marriage is considered a great honor and privilege within the golden wood. If that is not your intention for your life, then what is it you desire?"_

_"_ _A life of service. I wish to defend the golden wood as you do, as a warden of the Galadhrim. In my mind, there is no greater calling than that of defending the defenseless. I would fight to ensure that none who live here are harmed as my family was, or the countless others who have fallen prey to the evils of the world. I would defend them so that they might live peaceful lives, free from worrying about orcs and the like." She said without a trace of humor in her eyes._

_She was serious and dead set on this idea, and why should she not be? Her family had perished because of a chink in the defense system. Belegwen's family was the reason there was now a new wall surrounding the entirety of Caras Galadhon. Their deaths had brought about several changes to the wardens and now Belegwen herself wished to be a part of the solution. Haldir could not fault her for that._

_No, Belegwen had been bitten by the bug that had infected him and Orophin, his adar, and his adar's adar, as well as many other family members before them. Once an elf felt the desire to serve in this way, there was no turning back. There would be no other job that could bring them satisfaction; Haldir knew this, for he felt it himself. Even Rumil, who was currently 25 years into a woodworking apprenticeship, had felt it before their adar had heard the call of the sea._

_Being the youngest and most sensitive of the three brothers, Rumil had feared becoming as their adar was, shaken from seeing the terrible evils of the world and driven west to Valinor much too soon. His adar's life as a warden had yielded this fate and Rumil did not want it to be his own. He had decided to try a different profession instead, which had caused many arguments in their home as their adar and naneth had prepared to make their journey across the sea._

_Galadir, their adar, had reassured Haldir and Orophin though, saying Rumil would eventually come to his senses and pursue the life of a warden that they all knew he was well-suited for. Therefore, they decided to allow him to do as he wished and come to the right conclusion on his own. Now that he had spent the last 25 years crafting cabinets, trim, bookcases, and the like, Haldir could already see that Rumil's eyes were straying to the wardens more and more frequently. It would only be a matter of time before he joined his brothers on the borders._

_Belegwen had somehow come to feel the calling as well. Haldir had never heard of an elleth feeling it before, but the evidence of it was laid out before his very own eyes. It would not go away or stop. Belegwen was called to become a warden and, like most ellyn who felt such a calling, would stop at nothing until she saw it done._

_The realization of what all this meant stabbed Haldir painfully in the heart. If Belegwen did this, she would be in danger. She would be exposing herself to orcs, goblins, wild men, wargs, and much more. The evil would weigh heavily upon her heart, just as it did to all of Lothlorien's wardens. It was a steep price to pay for the peace of their city. A steep, steep price._

_Haldir noticed Belegwen was smiling at the thought of it though. He could practically picture the image of her in a warden's uniform dancing through her mind. He knew she was thinking of it as she gazed up at the moon once more, sipping the wine she had managed to bring up the tree with her. Was this really the only thing that would make this depressed elleth happy?_

_"_ _You disagree with this idea; I can tell," Belegwen said in a low voice as she stared down at him. "Everyone I tell disapproves, but I do not understand why. Is it not a noble idea?" She asked quietly._

_He stared up at her, suddenly realizing that she wanted his approval for some reason. "It is a noble idea," he started, weighing each of his words carefully before he said them. "I am certain that everyone is simply concerned for your safety and welfare. Being a warden is a dangerous job and you could become injured easily under the right circumstances. Those who disapprove care about you enough to desire your safety. I would include myself in that number."_

_There was an awkward silence between them that lasted for several moments while Belegwen contemplated his answer. "I am to start my training next week. Lady Galadriel has approved it and Lord Celeborn has begrudgingly agreed to teach me, although I am certain he will continue to try and pawn me off on a few well-intentioned ellyn. I know he hopes to change my mind." She said with a sigh._

_"_ _Are you certain this is truly what you want?" Haldir asked her, looking for sincerity within her eyes. "Will being a warden make you happy?"_

_"_ _Of course," Belegwen replied softly, smiling down at him before finishing the last swig of wine in her glass, "It is all I have ever wanted."_

_"_ _Then I wish you the best of luck on your endeavor. Come, let us return to the party before your absence is noticed." Haldir said with a twinge of regret in his voice as he secretly resigned himself to watching her from afar rather than courting her as he truly desired._

_The scene swirled around once again and Marchwarden Annondel came into view on the training grounds, stopping in front of Haldir. He did not notice the marchwarden at first though, as his eyes were trained on the archery arena, watching as two figures worked together. Belegwen was shooting arrows at a target while Lord Celeborn spoke with her, offering helpful hints and sometimes adjusting her form in relevant ways to improve her shots._

_Haldir was impressed with how far she had come over the last few months. Perhaps she would be able to pass the warden's exams after all…_

_The sound of a clearing throat drew his attention back to Annondel, who was looking grumpily down his nose at him. "Haldir, I know you find that elleth pleasing and what you do in your free time is your own business. On my time though, your attention must be on me. You owe me five laps around the training yard, now. Complete them in five minutes or you will try again."_

_"_ _Five minutes, sir?" Questioned Haldir, shocked at this new challenge. He had never been given a time limit for his laps before. Surely Annondel did not mean it…_

_"_ _Five minutes. You have been watching her and ignoring my training sessions for weeks. I have reprimanded you for it several times now. From here on out, you will either learn to pay attention to your training or you will suffer the consequences. Court Belegwen on your own time, not on mine." Marchwarden Annondel commanded mercilessly._

_Thus it was that Haldir sprinted around the training grounds as fast as he possibly could while Annondel timed him. It took him four tries, but eventually he was able to run the laps in five minutes. And though he had schooled himself that night over how he would not look at Belegwen at all the next day, he had found himself sprinting the laps again a day later. It seemed that Belegwen was an addiction he could not easily quit._

_The memory swirled into another, one where Haldir was leading Belegwen down one of the streets of Lothlorien. A couple of centuries had passed and Haldir had been made into Marchwarden Annondel's messenger, a great honor Haldir had received because of how fast he was able to run, thanks to the countless laps he had run over the last two centuries for staring at his beloved._

_Oh, how he had tested Annondel's patience… However, the marchwarden could not ignore the fact that Haldir could run five laps around the training grounds in under three minutes, which was much faster than any other warden in the golden wood. Because of this, Annondel used him as his messenger to send word between the borders and Caras Galadhon, knowing Haldir could complete the trip nearly twice as fast as anyone else._

_This evening's assignment did not require speed, though Haldir walked quickly anyway. Today he had simply been sent to the healing telain to fetch Belegwen into a meeting with Marchwarden Annondel and Lord Celeborn._

_Haldir glanced at her and admired how she looked in her warden's attire, walking quickly beside him in silence. Her right shoulder was in an extensive sling that was pulled tightly against her body with two leather straps._

_"_ _Does it hurt a lot?" He asked quietly, interrupting the silence between the two of them. Neither one of them had said anything for nearly ten minutes as they walked through the city._

_Belegwen had been on the border during the last patrol, one in which several orcs had launched an attack on Lothlorien. While most of the wardens had faired pretty well in the battle, Belegwen had been slashed across her shoulder and the orc's sword had penetrated her upper back all the way down to the bone. Haldir had not been at the border to witness it, but had feared for her when news reached Caras Galadhon that she was wounded._

_"_ _It is nothing I cannot manage." She said tersely. Belegwen was very tense and Haldir could understand why. This meeting was probably concerning her injury and would likely prove to be unpleasant._

_Marchwarden Annondel had been very reluctant to allow Belegwen to join the wardens. Even after she successfully passed her exams, he had not made things very easy for her. Haldir thought the marchwarden tended to hold Belegwen up to a higher standard than the other wardens. Belegwen had seemed to take it in stride though, resolving to follow his directions without hesitation and doing the best she could to not draw unwanted attention to herself._

_As they climbed up the stairs of the city's largest mallorn tree together, Haldir wondered if what all the other wardens were saying was wrong. Many of them had spent the last two centuries wagering on how long Belegwen would remain a warden. Some had wagered that she would find a husband amongst them and leave within a certain amount of years. Some had wagered that she would leave at the first sign of trouble on the border; those elves had lost because she had dealt with her fair share of trouble at this point._

_By far, the common wager was that Belegwen would quit once she sustained her first injury. Secretly, Haldir had hoped there might be some truth to this so that he could try to court her at last. The look on her face told Haldir that she was not ready to quit though. No, the look on Belegwen's face told him that she was just getting started and that scared Haldir._

_Patiently, he had waited 200 years for her, but there was no chance of having her now; when Belegwen had become a warden, a new set of rules had been added to the warden's code. None of the wardens were allowed to fraternize with her in any fashion and vice versa. A few who had dared to flirt with her on her first day as a warden had been dealt with severely by Marchwarden Annondel. He had made an example of them and it had discouraged other wardens from engaging her in the same way._

_In fact, it discouraged most wardens from saying anything to Belegwen at all, for fear of it being misconstrued as flirtation. Most wardens either ignored her completely or said distasteful things about her behind her back. Neither of these behaviors were appropriate in Haldir's eyes and he desperately wished Annondel would do something to improve their relations. He did not seem overly concerned about it though; in fact, perhaps he was hoping such talk would discourage Belegwen enough to leave the wardens._

_Stopping in front of the large wooden doors that led to the meeting chamber, Haldir knocked to let the occupants know that they had arrived. Marchwarden Annondel answered the door with a severe look on his face._

_"_ _Haldir, please wait outside the doors during our meeting. You will escort Belegwen back to the healing telain when we are through here." Marchwarden Annondel said as he motioned Belegwen into the room and then pushed the door closed. The door, however, did not latch shut, but instead bounced open so that Haldir was able to hear the entirety of the meeting._

_He listened as Lord Celeborn's voice opened up the meeting. "Belegwen, the city council met the night before last and many concerns were raised about your injury at the borders. Many members of the city were horrified to find out that an elleth had been injured during a patrol. I know I have asked in the past, but this time I am strongly suggesting your resignation from the wardens."_

_Marchwarden Annondel quickly added, "We have discussed the situation repeatedly now and we both think a resignation would be for the best. The inhabitants of the city are offended that we would allow an elleth to go to the borders when we have more than enough strong and able ellyn to do the job. Your presence is unnecessary and worrisome to many elves who only want to see you safe and living your best life here in Caras Galadhon."_

_"_ _But I have only been injured, marchwarden sir. I will recover soon enough and I would like to continue serving." He heard Belegwen argue with obvious despair in her voice. "I am no coward who runs away from duty at the first sign of trouble. I am brave and I will carry on, just as all the other wounded wardens have in the past."_

_"_ _Belegwen," Lord Celeborn said in a much firmer voice than Haldir had ever heard from him before, "It is time to resign. You have had your adventure, but it has become too unsafe for you to continue. There are many other fine jobs here within the city for you to explore next. I am certain we can find something else that is agreeable for you to do… or we can find you a husband. We both know of a well-respected ellon who would jump at the chance of receiving your hand. Say the words and we will bring him to you. I am certain you will find him most worthy of your hand."_

_Oh dearest Valar, they were talking about him! Haldir flushed at the thought of two important city officials trying to arrange a marriage between himself and Belegwen. A part of him hoped that she would ask for him while another part of him detested the thought, as it might lead to a painful rejection once she found out who loved her._

_"_ _I do not wish to marry right now and I do not want another job!" Belegwen declared firmly. "My only wish is to continue serving as a warden, just as the others who have been injured at the borders. I am not afraid to go back and I am not bothered that others fear for me. I can defend myself and am able to help make a difference there."_

_"_ _The wardens on duty have reported to me that you were injured because you were not fast enough with your sword during the attack, Belegwen." Marchwarden Annondel said, his voice lacking compassion. "Continuing on this path is futile and will prove to be a quick way to find your grave. Please hand over your leaf pin and weapons. We must end this now."_

_"_ _Why are you treating me differently than all of the other wardens?!" Belegwen exclaimed, clearly infuriated with their words. "If I were an ellon, you would let me go back to being a warden once I was healed, which is what I want to do! Why can you not accept me for who I am? I am not looking for an adventure, some sort of thrill, or to defy your wishes! I simply wish to give my life freely to the defense of the city! Please, I beg you to let me go back! There is nothing else that will make me happy!"_

_"_ _She speaks truly," came an ethereal female voice, smooth and mysterious. The lady had now entered the room and joined them. Haldir caught a glimpse of her as she silently descended the stairs. Her blue eyes met his own for a moment and Haldir flushed as he realized she had seen him eavesdropping. Embarrassed, he turned away right after he saw Marchwarden Annondel bow to the lady and Lord Celeborn took her by the hand._

_"_ _Though there is more than one path that Belegwen could traverse in her life, she has already chosen the one she desires. It is a path fraught with innumerable hardships, but it will ultimately lead to greatness, should her heart stay true." Lady Galadriel declared with confidence. "I must insist that Belegwen remains a warden, as she will eventually prove herself essential to Lothlorien in a variety of ways."_

_"_ _Thank you, my lady," he heard Belegwen murmur. "I am pleased to be of service to the city once more."_

_"_ _Is this truly wise, meleth?" He heard Lord Celeborn question. A long silence passed by as the two of them seemed to discuss the situation within the privacy of the bond they shared. Eventually, Lord Celeborn's voice conceded to her. "Very well then. Belegwen, you are being given a second chance. Use it wisely and prove yourself worthy of the concern you merit."_

_"_ _I will my lord. I will." Belegwen assured him, her voice filled with hope once more._

_After a long pause, Galadriel continued, "As for this ellon, Lord Celeborn speaks truly. He is unlike most others and would treat you fairly. He is one of very few who would accept you as you are right now. I think he would even be willing to compromise his own vision for his life to help you obtain happiness. However, I think he will prove himself worthy of you in even greater ways in the future, should you choose to wait."_

_Haldir clung to these words that seemed to be intended for him just as much as they were directed at Belegwen. The lady was definitely right on the first count; he would do everything in his power to make Belegwen happy if she chose to be with him now. He would marry her even if she insisted on continuing to be a warden. It was not what he wanted for her, but if it made her happy, perhaps it would not be so bad._

_Anything to make her smile. Haldir absolutely adored Belegwen's smile._

_What Haldir did not understand was what the lady had said about their future. Would he somehow be an even better match for her if they were to wait? How long would that take? Would she even be willing to marry him then?_

_How would he be able to endure waiting even longer for Belegwen when he already ached for her with every part of his being?_

_"_ _Belegwen, I have brought two things that will help you on the path you have chosen. The first is a sword that will be much better suited to you. Her name is Nimrodel; you will find her to be wonderfully light and reliable, a perfect match for your strength and speed." Lady Galadriel said, handing her a smaller sword that appeared to be a fine elvish build before continuing._

_"_ _I also come bearing a gift to help with your training. It is a journal from your adar. He was more knowledgeable about weaponry than he let on while serving with the Galadhrim. You will find his writings to be a guide. In this way, you will receive your training from him. Follow his directions with care and you will find yourself more than adequately prepared for battles that are yet to come."_

_"_ _Thank you my lady," Belegwen breathed. "I will treasure them always."_

_"_ _You are welcome, brave warden. Now, let us have you escorted back to the healing telain. You are still weakened and I would see you receive your rest and make a full recovery."_

_Knowing they were approaching the door, Haldir quickly moved away to try and appear indifferent to what he had overheard. The lady's knowing eyes met his once again as the door opened more fully so Belegwen could pass through. Not bothering to wait for him, Belegwen pushed past him with a haunted look on her face that shook him to the core. His eyes met the lady's momentarily and he saw a sympathetic look of understanding within their unfathomable depths._

_"_ _Do not despair Haldir." She whispered to him within the depths of his mind. "There is hope yet for your plight and there always will be, even when there appears to be none. Never forget this."_

_Haldir felt himself nodding, his breath catching in his throat as he thought about the possible connotations of such words. Then, taking a bow before the lady, he quickly hurried to catch up with Belegwen._

_"_ _Belegwen, wait!" He called after her as he ran to catch up. She did not stop for him, but he caught up nonetheless. "I have been asked to escort you!"_

_"_ _I need no escort," he heard her say in front of him darkly. "I am not some fragile elleth who will pass out from the pain of an injury and I certainly know my way around a city I have lived in for 250 years."_

_"_ _I am honor-bound to my duty, Belegwen. I must, for Marchwarden Annondel has commanded it." Haldir replied, falling into step beside her and quickly assessing her current state. She looked unwell, as if she had over exerted herself by attending the meeting and she was clearly despairing over the words that had been said there. Haldir was as well though, for she had not been treated fairly by Marchwarden Annondel or Lord Celeborn._

_Belegwen had been right—if she had been an ellon, such a meeting would not have even occurred. She had almost been stripped of her title for no reason than the fact that the elves of the city were upset over her injury._

_Along with the desolation she wore on her face, Haldir saw something else familiar…_

_Determination. Belegwen was the most determined elf he had ever met and he could see that she would not be held down so easily. "I will show them," she whispered under her breath, just loudly enough that Haldir was able to catch wind of it. "I will show them what an elleth can do. I will prove myself worthy of this once and for all…" She said. Haldir watched her hand tighten over the book and sword that she held in her good hand as she said it._

_The words on her lips were a veritable vow. Haldir heard truth echo from her words and knew that she would see this done by whatever means necessary._

_As they walked back through the city, Haldir continued to listen as she angrily muttered to herself as though he was not even there. "I will learn to be faster with the sword. I will train until it is undeniable that I have a place here. Annondel will see it… He must see it." She pleaded to herself, stumbling a little on a stairwell they were starting to descend. Haldir quickly grabbed her by her good shoulder to prevent the exhausted elleth from falling down the stairs._

_For the second time on their trip home, Belegwen met his eyes and acknowledged his presence. "You heard the whole ridiculous thing, did you not? Surely Lord Celeborn jests—there is no ellon who would marry me this way! None are accepting of my choice to be a warden except the lady herself!" She barked, growing angrier by the minute. "Would you not agree Haldir? What poor soul could bring himself to love an elleth like me?"_

_Haldir's words caught in his mouth and he said nothing, fearful of what she might do if he uttered his true feelings during this painful moment they were sharing. He doubted she would return his feelings, even if what the lady said held true. Haldir was willing to marry her and allow her to continue on as a warden, even though it went against his personal wishes._

_Instead, he said nothing and listened as she continued on her tangent. "Only a fool could love me this way. He need not worry about it though, for I will marry no one. I will not be stuffed away in some talan, cleaning and nursing children all my days. No, that is not me. That is not me!" She shouted, uncaring of who overheard._

_Yet, the words resounded within Haldir painfully and he stopped listening to her briefly while his own thoughts ran wild with fear. Her words echoed through her mind over and over again. A great pain passed through his entire being, as though she had run him through with her words, which seemed to be killing him more effectively than a sword ever could._

_She would never marry? Truly? Had she really meant it or were they simply words spoken in anger over all that happened? Was it possible that she would never return his ardor for her, no matter how long he waited?_

_"_ _No, I will never marry… Never in a thousand millennia!" He vaguely heard her say through his grief. The words shattered him, leaving him feeling bereft and utterly hopeless._

_Lady Galadriel's words were all but forgotten upon hearing Belegwen's bold declaration for her life and Haldir fell into a haze of sorts, his mind clouded by the wound she had unknowingly inflicted upon him tonight. He said nothing more as he trailed behind her until she reached her healing telain, not even bothering to say goodbye as she disappeared into Eltirwen's talan. Even in her absence though, the pain did not go away._

_No, it was only the beginning of the hurt Haldir was about to endure._

Though he had wanted to show Belegwen more, Haldir trembled both from the extent of his injuries and from the sheer the weight of that particular memory. He found he could not go on. Hearing his beloved tell him that she would never marry had scarred him for life. Even though it had happened nearly 3,000 years ago, the pain of reliving that particular memory still cut into him as if it had just happened yesterday.

How could he fall in love with her so profoundly, only to be rejected? His love had been unrequited for so long that he had given up on it. He had pushed it down deeply within himself, hiding it beneath a hardened exterior that had been strong enough to carry the burden secretly for all these years. There was only one who knew his deepest secret, the source of his unending agony…

Orophin. He had told Orophin, or rather, Orophin had pushed it out of him one night when he had witnessed the effects of her words on him. Haldir had been driven to utter distraction by her, having dreams where he secured her for himself, only to wake up empty-handed and alone in the middle of the night. He started closing himself off to others, keeping to himself more often than not and spending all of his waking hours training and running to try and take his mind off it.

It was Orophin who first noticed the change in Haldir and had confronted him about it. When he had been reluctant to speak, Orophin had literally wrestled it out of him with brotherly roughhousing that had resulted in the two talking on his balcony. Haldir had cried tears of misery as he admitted to Orophin that no other elleth would do.

He needed Belegwen, who did not want him back. Belegwen, who had vowed never to marry in a thousand millennia. Belegwen, who would always be a warden first and would never have room in her heart for anything else.

No other elleth could compare with her though. Haldir had tried to court others after her painful declaration, but always found himself yearning for Belegwen's determined eyes and that elusive smile…

And now she knew.

Haldir stared into Belegwen's shocked eyes as she looked down at him, shivering from the revelation he had provided. _"Haldir, you have been faithful to me… for all this time?"_ She whispered slowly in a voice that was almost too high and ragged for him to comprehend.

_"_ _Forever."_ He promised, blinking several times as her countenance grew blurry in front of him. He was so cold now and the throbbing of his wounds were quickly growing unbearable. Haldir grimaced in pain as he choked on the alarming amount of blood that was starting to fill his mouth.

_"_ _I did not know Haldir… I did not know…"_ She murmured above him, the sound flashing in and out of his hearing as he watched her blue eyes fill with tears. _"I am so sorry you have suffered because of me! Forgive me, please!"_

_"_ _There is nothing… to forgive. I am happy… to have known you."_ He said, struggling terribly through his mental haze to get these final words to her.

He gasped as he felt a splash of something land on his cheek. It was a tear. Belegwen was crying in front of him. She was actually crying, the tears unhidden from his view and rolling uninhibited down her face at long last.

The world grew dim around Haldir, but in those last moments he rejoiced in seeing the tears she had held back from him for nearly a year now. To Belegwen, crying in front of him demonstrated a weakness within her, one that she had not desired for him to see. She had always hidden it from him in the past, ever a pillar of strength, even though she did not need to be.

Haldir marveled at the droplets as they passed over her cheeks and dripped onto his own face. She was no longer holding anything back from him.

Belegwen trusted him enough that she felt safe crying in front of him at last!

It was this thought that lingered in Haldir's mind as the pain finally overtook him. Watching as his beloved wife's tear-stained face faded into an unrelenting darkness, he felt his spirit start to remove itself from the body it had inhabited for nearly 4,000 years. And with that action, Haldir of Lorien breathed his last and was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. Really, I am.
> 
> The story is not over yet. 
> 
> Hope is not lost.


	47. A Call to Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AnshinDark and Fatemeh68 for the kind comments and kudos! Thanks to all my readers for your continued support! Enjoy the next chapter of TBFF!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 47: A Call to Arms

"No," Belegwen whispered, her face scrunching up in pain as she realized that Haldir was no longer breathing. Her voice went up in pitch as deep emotions coursed through her mind. "No, no, no!"

Within her mind's eye, Belegwen found herself slowly leaning over the armor-clad body her husband left behind as her entire being shook with uncontrollable sobs. She gently rested her forehead on the breastplate of his armor as the agony of his untimely death overtook her.

Belegwen had hoped above all hopes that this would not happen. She had wanted Haldir's dreams to have been exactly that—dreams. However, they had been more than mere dreams; they had foretold a terrible tragedy and an untimely fate that had never been intended for elves. Death was appalling, the fate of the second-born, not the elves…

Haldir was gone though and Belegwen did not know how she would go on without him.

The pain she was feeling in his arm and back had simply disappeared, just like all of his thoughts and emotions. There was nothing left of the connection between them. The silent emptiness was a void in Belegwen's mind. It was much worse than when she had put up the mental wall because she knew this time, it was permanent. No part of him remained with her now, other than the shell of a body he used to occupy, which she leaned against as she wept.

Oh dear Vala, would his body remain in her mind for all time because of their bond? Belegwen cringed at the thought of looking upon him this way every day for thousands of years. She desperately hoped it would not be so. There would be no peace for her if he remained here forevermore.

As it was, Belegwen was already fighting against her own spirit, which was trying its best to tug its way out of her body, as if it wished to immediately follow him to the Halls of Mandos. She knew no one would blame her if she allowed herself to wither away, as many Eldarin wives and husbands gave into this temptation when they lost their beloved. It would be so easy to let go of her body and drift into the sea now. Belegwen could practically hear it again, as she had when Erthalion brought her to the brink of death. The gentle waves were washing against her ears in greeting, lulling her to let go of herself and drift peacefully away into nothingness.

Belegwen knew she had to resist though, as Haldir's tiny son was still resting within her and she could not die now without taking the little ellon along with her. No, she had been blessed with a small part of Haldir that remained within her and she would not allow the elfling to enter the Halls because of her own hopelessness and desperation. Belegwen would stay alive on behalf of the ellon, so he could be born and walk amongst the mellryn as his adar once had. How beautiful that would be…

If only Haldir had lived to witness it by her side.

Oh dear, what would she do without him?! Belegwen had spent most of her life putting distance between herself and others for self-preservation purposes. She had even spent her youngest years distancing herself from Haldir, as she had known Lord Celeborn was trying to marry her off and Haldir had been one of the potential candidates to receive her hand. Stupidly though, she did not have even the slightest inclination at the time that he had desired her thusly and had said some incredibly hurtful things to him because of it.

Haldir was the ellon Lady Galadriel had spoken about on the night Lord Celeborn and Annondel had met with her about leaving the wardens. Her words had been laced with a great truth as well—Haldir would have accepted her as she was in those days. He had loved her greatly back then, but had indeed proven himself to be even more worthy of her in the last year.

While it was now obvious Haldir would have done anything to make her happy when he was younger, he would have only allowed her to be a warden begrudgingly, as it was not the life he wanted for his wife. However, Haldir had recently made it clear that he wanted her as his second and enjoyed fighting by her side. In his last few weeks of life, he even said he desired for her to be a marchwarden alongside him. His exact words rang through her mind once more…

_"_ _I want you by my side Belegwen. You have earned your position and it is where you belong."_

No one other than Lady Galadriel had accepted her decision to fight and defend as readily as Haldir. Now that she had seen the memories of their youth from his perspective, Belegwen knew how selfless Haldir truly was. He had fallen in love with her when she was naïve and headstrong, yet somehow he did not mind these terrible flaws of hers. Instead, his concern had always been for her safety and desires. Haldir had placed more importance on her happiness than he had on his own for several millennia now. He wanted her to smile and have a joyful life above all else.

When he made his declaration to her earlier tonight, Belegwen had only clung to the first three words of his statement. Haldir had said, _"I love you. I always I have… and I always will."_ The 'I love you' part seemed to be the most important part at the time. However, this new revelation had made the second sentence more important. Haldir had loved her for nearly his entire life and had proclaimed he would love her forever.

Haldir would love _her_ forever.

_Forever_.

Oh blessed Valar, how had this happened?!

Belegwen could hardly believe the depth of emotion Haldir held for her. She was even allowed to feel it once after he rescued her from Erthalion. She had felt his love for her through the makeshift wall she erected between their minds; it had been her lame attempt to stifle their bond's power to prevent him from finding out about the elfling. His love was so strong though, it passed right through the wall and filled her up with a warmth she had never felt before. It was unimaginable how powerful and deep his love was for her; Belegwen could scarcely believe it was real!

How could she live without it now? How could she live without him?!

Shivering with pain, Belegwen forced herself to sit up and then looked at his pallid face. With a shaky hand, she gently closed his lifeless cerulean eyes and then used the bottom of her healing robes to wipe the blood from his mouth and face, taking the time to gently close his jaw and lips so he looked more dignified. Belegwen knew Haldir had his pride, therefore she would not allow him to look anything other than his best, even in death. Once she moved his arms to his sides, she felt satisfied with what she saw and relaxed a bit.

"I will also love you forever, hervenn." She choked out through her tears, caressing his face softly. "I am sorry I did not realize it sooner. I am sorry I made you wait."

Leaning down again, she kissed his forehead once more, then lingered at his lips, whispering desperately against them, "This is not how this was supposed to end Haldir. This is not what I wanted for us."

She kissed his lips briefly, then sat up and buried her face in her bloodstained hands, yearning for the future she desired. How quickly Haldir had become a part of it! Belegwen's most recent dream was to enjoy the rest of her years as a marchwarden after marrying Haldir. Then, the two of them would spend their life together raising their son in Lothlorien. It was simple, yes, but Belegwen had briefly felt it would come to fruition, though it had seemed impossible for so long. Oh, how wonderful it would have been!

Belegwen's dream would never come to pass though.

"I am not ready to part with you yet! Please come back…" She begged almost silently as her abdominal muscles seized up tightly while she bawled uncontrollably. "Please!"

He did not come back though. Belegwen had cried for so long now that she felt ill. She could no longer bear to look at him and turned her back to his body, crossing her legs and leaning over her bulging stomach as she wailed over his loss. She felt so alone and empty without him.

Eventually, she noticed something peculiar was happening though. It started out as an uncomfortable feeling. Belegwen got the oddest impression that she was being watched from within her own mind. Quickly wiping her tears onto her damp sleeves, Belegwen felt slightly paranoid as she looked around her mind's eye. Other than Haldir, no one else had ever accessed her mind before other than Lady Galadriel, but she was always quick to announce herself.

It was not the lady… not this time.

When she turned around to look at Haldir, he was still right where she left him and was unmoved from the position she put him in. Something had changed though and Belegwen knew it. She could feel energy in the air, similar to what she felt when she heard the voices in her head while in Caras Galadhon.

The air grew thick around her, which was surprisingly noticeable even within her mind's eye. The atmosphere around her crackled with electricity. Whoever was causing this had immeasurable power; power Belegwen did not understand.

It frightened her.

A cold wind started to blow in her mind's eye and Belegwen stood up as she anticipated the arrival of someone else within her mind. Her unbound hair and bloody robes blew haphazardly behind her as she stared in the direction of the wind's source, trying to catch a glimpse of its creator.

A flash of twin grey eyes elicited a gasp from her as she saw a vision of them opening up inside her mind before they disappeared as mysteriously as they arrived. They looked familiar to Belegwen, but she could not quite place them.

"Belegwen," a voice on the wind whispered slowly, drawing out each syllable of her name emphatically. The voice sounded far away, but she could tell the presence was getting much closer to her. The winds were picking up as well and Belegwen held up one of her arms to block her eyes from the violent storm that was blowing around her.

The grey eyes flashed again; this time they were enlarged and staring at her as she struggled to stand against the force of the wind, which was growing stronger with every passing moment. Belegwen struggled to breathe, fearing whatever was about to appear.

Then, a loud crack resounded through the air and another elf abruptly appeared in her mind. Belegwen lowered her arm and gasped as she saw someone most unexpected standing before her.

"Heledhril?! How is this possible?" Belegwen asked in shock. Haldir had been in her mind's eye because of their marriage bond, but Belegwen had not expected anyone else to be able to enter her mind!

"I am sorry Belegwen, but there is little time to explain this. Needless to say, I am an ellon with the gift, though I do not tend to reveal it to others. This ability has often helped me to protect and serve as a warden though, which is why I am choosing to use it now." He said, not really revealing much in the way of answers.

Belegwen found herself perplexed by how Heledhril sounded. Somehow his voice was both coming from his mouth, as well as surrounding her in the air. It was very disconcerting.

As Belegwen thought through his words, she suddenly realized how many times the mysterious voice, which she now knew belonged to Heledhril, had helped her. It was Heledhril who had told her to trip Erthalion while he strangled her during the sword lesson. It was Heledhril who had warned her not to touch Erthalion, lest he remember his reasons for hating her when Belegwen made him take his oath before the Valar.

It was also Heledhril who had run out to save her from Erthalion in the middle of the night when he approached her on the training grounds. Heledhril had not even taken the time to get fully dressed, but had brought his sword with him. It had seemed odd at the time, but now Belegwen knew why.

Heledhril was protecting her. It all made sense now.

"Why have you come?" Belegwen asked, staring at his eyes, which almost appeared to be glowing with power. She had never seen this side of Heledhril and felt rather intimidated by him suddenly.

"Belegwen, I have come to beg for your help." He said, glancing from her face down to Haldir's body, which was lying behind her in the dark confines of her mind. "Since Haldir has fallen, Gilhoth has not been able to successfully lead the soldiers. He is not ready for this post, Belegwen! I implore you to come to our aid!"

"It is not that simple, Heledhril-" Belegwen started, only to be interrupted by a haunted look on his face and several foreboding words spoken with desperation.

"Please Belegwen! You have not seen what I have on this night! Very few of the soldiers understand the commands the men make of them and they are falling because of it! Gilhoth does not speak Westron and he cannot translate what they say or interpret their moves." He said, then grabbed both of her upper arms for emphasis. "You can though. You have what it takes to save us!" He exclaimed, hope filling his voice.

"I cannot do it this time Heledhril. You do not understand-" She started, only to be stopped by his hand suddenly gripping her forehead.

"Let me show you," he said and suddenly, she was looking through his eyes at the battle, just as she had a while ago with Haldir.

_The fighting had moved indoors with orcs and uruk-hai infiltrating numerous doorways and spilling into the keep. Large torches lit up the area and the clashing of many swords echoed through the entryway and massive hall. Between that and the screams of the injured, the sounds of the battle were nearly deafening._

_The hall was filling with bodies fast. Many men, elves and orcs were fighting in very close proximity to one another; they were dangerously close. Belegwen watched as an elf got his arm clipped by an older man wielding a sword against an orc simply because he was too close to him._

_The elves and men were losing. It was obvious the orcs and uruk-hai outnumbered them greatly as more and more poured into the keep. One by one, Belegwen watched elves and men alike fall to the hoards, which surrounded them. As they overcame more soldiers, the orcs drew closer and closer to the great hall, which led to the caves housing the women and children._

_Heledhril was moving quickly through the crowd with a sword drawn in one hand and a long knife in the other. Without hesitation, he took down orc after orc, catching many by surprise and purposefully engaging a few who had been watching him, wanting to take out the elf who seemed to be successfully destroying the masses. Even Heledhril was getting jostled though as more and more orcs poured into the entryway. The space was filling up fast and the number of men and elves were starting to dwindle._

_Belegwen shrieked as she saw a large uruk-hai approach Kirnen, one of the youngest wardens of the Galadhrim who had testified against her at the council meeting. She could tell Kirnen did not see his enemy, as he was busy fighting two other orcs, which were bearing down on him. The uruk-hai showed no mercy and beheaded the young warden immediately, quickly moving over to a small group of struggling men, only to repeat the action._

_Kirnen's body was left as a lifeless, bleeding mass on the floor and was immediately smashed beneath the feet of others who were skirmishing around them. Belegwen felt a tear run down her cheek and her heart skipped several beats at the sight. Kirnen was young and had barely qualified as a warden in time to make this journey. Now he was not only gone, but completely decimated._

_Breathing heavily as grief assaulted her mind, Belegwen looked across the floor to see the bodies of several other elves she knew, as well as those of many men. Belegwen froze in shock as she caught sight of one child whom she had assisted in swordplay lying twisted and lifeless on the ground. All the lifeless bodies were being trampled as orcs filled the hall; there was no respect being shown to their remains. Instead, they were just flattened into the floor as more bodies toppled onto them._

_The men were commanding their soldiers to fall back again and many of them were starting to make their way into the great hall. Very few of the elves spoke Westron though and the command was not being interpreted to them. They were continuing to fight and were not trying to exit the entryway at all._

_As Heledhril found a short lull in his warpath, he scanned the entire room and Gilhoth finally came into view. Belegwen was immediately horrified by the look of fear and alarm on his face. Gilhoth was fighting, but was not whistling or shouting out commands as he should have been. His expression made it apparent that he still felt responsible for everything that was going on around him. It was unfair though, as he had not been given the appropriate amount of training to be successful tonight._

_He had assumed Belegwen's mantle far too soon and was now paying the price, as were all the elves that were not receiving directions from a leader. They needed to retreat soon or they would all be lost._

Something had to be done. In her heart, Belegwen knew that she was the only one who could do it.

_"_ _But what of the elfling…"_ Belegwen thought to herself as she opened her eyes and found herself back within her mind's eye, staring at this very discomforting version of her protégé, who literally glowed with unforeseen power. _"I told Haldir I would keep the elfling safe!"_

Indeed, Haldir's words repeated themselves in her mind as she remembered what he said to her after they made love in the medical cart. _"I would have you stay close to Linedhel during the battle and assist him rather than fight. Will you do this?"_

Belegwen had agreed to it at the time and replied, _"I suppose it would probably be for the best."_

What if it was not the best course of action though? What if Belegwen could prevent several of the elves from dying during the battle? What if Belegwen could save some by heralding them into the great hall? Was the number of lives at stake worth the risk?

Could she truly say that her life and the life of her elfling were more important than the lives of the soldiers? A tear fell from Belegwen's eye because she knew the answer. Of course she and the elfling were no more important than any of the other elves. It was selfish of her to stay down here and do nothing when she was needed out there and had the capability of leading them.

Considering the state of the battle, she was no longer certain whether or not she would stay safe by remaining in the caves. Would not the orcs and uruk-hai make it all the way to the caves if the battle was lost? Would she not have to face them anyway if they made it past the great hall?

Belegwen cringed at the thought, but it was true. If they got into the cave, she would have to fight regardless, as would all of the other defenseless women and children…

_"_ _Oh dearest Valar,"_ she begged mentally, _"Not that!"_

Belegwen knew there would be a massacre if the orcs and uruk-hai made it down here. The women and children were unarmed and untrained; it was the worst possible thing that could happen in this battle and Belegwen knew she could not defend them all on her own, though she knew if it happened, she would try. It was her duty, after all, to protect and defend. She had sworn to do those things when she became a warden.

Had she lost sight of that somehow? Had her concern for herself and her elfling grown too great? Was not her duty also of great importance?

How could she have forgotten her duty?! She was a marchwarden, for Vala's sake!

Belegwen had even promised her duty to Haldir, back in Caras Galadhon the night before they left for this wretched battle. In her panic over hearing his thoughts about dying, Haldir had said, _"If something should happen to me, you must lead; you know this. I trust you to do this and you must promise me you will, no matter how terrible you feel. We have sworn ourselves to this duty before all else and we must see it through to the very end. You are ready for such feats if the need should arise. Now promise me you will do this."_

_"_ _I promise Haldir,"_ she had said, _"I promise that if you should fall, I will push my emotions aside and lead as you have trained me."_

While she still felt terribly conflicted about the elfling, Belegwen knew what she must do. Heledhril's grey eyes were gleaming with hope and Belegwen knew she could not let him down.

Belegwen would attend to her duty as she always had. She had chosen the life of a warden first and a warden she would be…

… no matter how terrible the cost.

_"_ _I will do it. I will come out and lead."_ She whispered, looking at her feet in utter defeat. She was scared for her elfling and she knew this was a horrible risk. She had to though; there was no one else. Quickly, she said a prayer of protection for him to Eru Iluvatar himself, begging him to preserve the life of her unborn ellon, no matter what fate befell her tonight.

_"_ _Praise the Valar!"_ Heledhril cried out in response. _"Hurry please!"_

With a crack of lightning and a gale of wind swirling around him, he was gone.

_"_ _Forgive me Haldir…"_ She murmured as she looked once more upon his dead body within her mind's eye. _"Forgive me for what I am about to do."_

ooOoo

"Belegwen… Belegwen!" she vaguely heard as the world around her started to come into view again. Her vision was blurry at first, but then started to come into focus. She saw two elves kneeling over her with worried looks on their faces. Squinting a bit in the dim light of the cavern, Belegwen could make out that one of them was Linedhel and the other, who was fanning her face with a white china plate, was Esgalamon.

Linedhel was the first to speak. "Oh, thank the Valar; you have returned! Belegwen, you passed out and then stopped breathing for a few minutes." He exclaimed. "I thought perhaps you followed Haldir to…" He began, then trailed off before finishing the thought, as if he could not bear to say it out loud.

Belegwen was glad he had not. She needed to focus on her duty and thinking about Haldir's fate would only make things harder. She laid there in silence for a minute more until her thoughts seemed clearer and she remembered Heledhril's words:

_"_ _Hurry please!"_

Cursing under her breath, Belegwen forced herself to sit up and immediately felt the firm hands of both ellyn trying to gently guide her back down to the floor. "Belegwen, you have suffered a terrible trauma tonight. It would best if you rested for a while." Esgalamon said.

Belegwen resisted forcefully though, yanking her arms away from both of them expediently and rushing to her feet. Reorienting herself to the room, Belegwen quickly caught sight of the healing cart and ran over to it, climbing into the back and pulling the curtain closed behind her so she could change into her armor.

She heard Linedhel's voice speaking to her as she quickly attempted to don her armor for the first time in over a month. "Belegwen, you need to come back and lay down. Rest would be the best thing for you right-oh!" He said as he pulled open the curtain, only to exclaim with surprise as he found her half dressed and scrambling to put on her armor. Linedhel pulled the curtain closed again reflexively, though he was seemingly alarmed by what he saw.

"Belegwen, what in the name of the Valar are you doing?! Please tell me this is not what it looks like!" He exclaimed with an anxious voice. Belegwen thought it was pretty obvious what she was doing, so she did not bother to answer his query, but instead hurried to put on piece after piece of her armor.

Everything still fit with the exception of the bodice, which now hung open fairly obviously because of her pregnant stomach. There was definitely no way she was going to be able to latch the armor now, so she resigned herself to letting it hang open. It was the best she could do. Working as fast as she could, Belegwen braided her hair with even less care than she used in Caras Galadhon and was certain it looked messy and unkempt, but at least it was out of her eyes.

Belegwen's sword belt also did not fit, so she simply grabbed up Nimrodel in her hand. She would need it the entire time she was out there anyway, so the belt no longer mattered. Pulling back the curtain, Belegwen was met with the two distressed elves once again.

"Belegwen, this is ill-advised! You are pregnant; you must not go!" Esgalamon argued as she pushed past him and Linedhel, easily climbing down to the floor.

"Please, Belegwen! Do not do this! I implore you to stay here and stay safe!" Linedhel begged, his hand reaching for her shoulder as she made to leave.

"Haldir has fallen and I am needed. I must go and fulfill my duty!" She exclaimed, then violently pushed past them and ran up the stairs towards the entrance to the great hall, purposefully ignoring their horrified screams for her to come back.

ooOoo

Rumil was very worried. He had followed Haldir's command and went inside, but much time had passed since then and he had yet to see his brother enter the fortress. In fact, all he could see coming in now was a massive hoard of orcs and uruk-hai. They were not scary in and of themselves, but the sheer amount of them was frightening. Rumil had never in his wildest dreams imagined fighting off so many at once.

"Where is he?" He muttered under his breath after killing yet another foul beast, pressing his foot down on the orc he had impaled so he could pull his sword from its carcass. He glanced around the entryway, trying not to look for too long, lest his distraction become a fatal flaw. Rumil did not see Haldir anywhere though and his heart pounded quickly as he started to fear the worst.

Suddenly, an uruk-hai ran towards him with a mace. Rumil jumped away from the beast as it tried to bring the mace down on his head. It landed loudly on the floor instead, providing Rumil with just enough time to turn and slide his sword beneath the monster's head and slit his throat. The uruk-hai screamed as he passed, blue blood spurting everywhere as Rumil forced its foul body to the ground and started to look around again.

Though he searched for his brother, someone on the other side of the room suddenly caught his eye. Someone unexpected. "Oh, for the love of-" He said, then cursed loudly and quickly set to work crossing the room, felling orc after orc to clear a pathway towards his sister.

"Belegwen!" He shouted with frustration, knowing what precious treasure she carried within her, "Go back! You should not be here!" Immediately, he found himself attacking an orc that had attempted to approach her, shouting menacingly as he ran the orc through with one mighty gouge of his sword.

"No! The soldiers need my help!" She cried, swinging her sword viciously above her head in a circular motion before bringing it down and beheading two orcs beside her, utilizing an incredible amount of effort for someone who was pregnant. Belegwen then slashed at the next two who came her way, gashing their faces brutally with her sword as they shrieked in pain. Dark blue blood dripped down her face as she turned to look at him. Hastily, his free hand reached out to grab her shoulder.

"Haldir will not approve of this! You must leave at once!" He insisted vehemently. Rumil cringed at the broken look she shot him after hearing his words though. His heart immediately sank and he knew what had happened before she even said it.

"Haldir is dead," Belegwen said in a low voice that was nearly unrecognizable as her own. Rumil's chest abruptly felt cold and he barely heard her next words as pain and regret swept through his entire being. "Gilhoth needs me. Help me find him."

"No!" He hissed angrily, entwining his arm with hers tightly. "I promised Haldir I would protect you if he passed! You are going back into the caves!" He said, then started to pull her back towards the great hall with his sword in front of him, ready to clear a path if necessary. Immediately, he felt her pull back against him as she pushed her arm out of his strong grip.

Rumil whirled around to grab her once more, only to feel her hand grab him by the collar of his armor. Belegwen viciously pulled his face down so it was right next to her own. He could feel her panting breaths against his face and immediately locked eyes with her. She was absolutely livid, which was enough to make Rumil pause and hear what she had to say.

"You will help me get to Gilhoth or you will stand down warden." She said with an unyielding intensity that left no questions in his mind as to the identity of the elleth standing before him. This was no longer his best friend looking at him, but the marchwarden of Lothlorien. She expected… no, demanded obedience. "That is an order!" She shouted, despite the fact that he was right in front of her face.

Frightened of this new and very unfamiliar side of his friend, Rumil nodded once and then she let go of him. He watched in horror as she screamed viciously and attacked a few orcs who were approaching her from behind. Immediately, Rumil was at her side to help, pushing orcs away from her with his elbow and onto the ground where he could easily finish them off with his sword.

He turned around again and found more orcs closing in on them. Rumil grunted as he kicked one to the ground and beheaded the other, carefully avoiding Belegwen, who instantaneously impaled and killed the orc he had sent tumbling to the floor. "Back to back!" He heard Belegwen scream to the soldiers. "Back to back!"

Her whistle command rang out after she said it once again and Rumil watched in amazement as the remaining elves did as she commanded even though she had been disgraced. In this, the most deadly of moments, it did not seem to matter whether or not Belegwen had broken the rules with Haldir though—the soldiers needed a leader and she had stepped up to do it.

They listened.

They followed.

They _obeyed_.

"I must get to the other side of the entryway. The elves furthest from the great hall must be evacuated first if we hope to have any survive. Gilhoth must also be located." Rumil heard Belegwen say as he fought back to back with her. Their swords clanged and clashed as they vanquished orc after orc, guarding one another as best they could from unexpected attacks.

"I will not leave you!" Rumil vowed and then cried out, "Let us go together!"

He gripped his sword with two hands and slashed at the feet of multiple orcs to surprise them. Screams rang out around the pair as they started moving sideways through the crowd. Rumil blocked as many attacks against Belegwen as he could, trying to do everything within his power to keep her and the elfling safe. Together, they started to cut a path towards the front entryway, the very place where most of the orcs were running in.

ooOoo

Erthalion scowled at the sight. Even though the council had removed her title, the soldiers were still listening to Belegwen and obeying her commands! She had come out of nowhere and taken command over the ranks and they had all listened to her as if she was the marchwarden!

She was not the marchwarden though and never should have been!

It should have been him!

Instead, he was now being watched and resented by all of the soldiers, despite his obvious talent and strength. Haldir had ordered two wardens to watch over him at all times and keep him away from his precious Belegwen. Oh, it had been obvious Haldir had feelings for her when he threatened to kill him. Erthalion had already suspected it though because of the rumor about their kiss in the forest, which had spread through the ranks like wildfire.

Haldir thought he could keep Erthalion from his plans for Belegwen, but Haldir had been wrong. Earlier in the night, Erthalion had watched as an orc approached Haldir from behind and had chosen to do nothing as the beast inflicted a final, killing blow upon the marchwarden's back, bringing him quickly to the ground and swiftly to death. With Haldir conveniently out of the way, it would be all too easy now to complete his plan.

The soldiers who were guarding him tonight were young and inexperienced, which was also to Erthalion's advantage. Haldir had assigned two of the youngest wardens, Linros and Kirnen, to keep watch over him during the battle. Once Haldir had fallen, Erthalion had started moving faster through the crowd of orcs and had lost Kirnen right away. The youngling had been desperately fighting off three orcs when Erthalion slipped away from him in the crowd, zigzagging around until he was no longer within sight.

Linros, however, was proving to be a problem. Erthalion had tried to do the exact same thing to him, but Linros had pushed through the maddening crowd and lingered by his side even now. The youngling had spirit, that much was true, but Erthalion knew the time was right to make his move against Belegwen and he could not accomplish that when someone was watching him.

Something had to be done.

In a last ditch effort, Erthalion tried to run away from Linros and towards Belegwen one last time, but was stopped when Linros grabbed his arm and forcefully pulled him back towards the wall. "You are not allowed to approach her!" He shouted over the noise of metal hitting metal surrounding them. The expression on Linros' face told him that he knew what Erthalion was up to and that he would do everything in his power to prevent him from getting to Belegwen.

That wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all.

While Linros was still securely holding his arm, Erthalion chose to use the arm he was holding to push Linros forcefully against the brick wall of the keep. Linros shouted with surprise as Erthalion ripped his hand away from Linros' grip while pressing him tightly against the wall with his other hand. Erthalion's sword rose up and flashed before his eyes, then headed straight towards Linros' chest.

The young soldier had seen what was about to happen and struggled against Erthalion's iron grip as he attempted to bring the sword down on him. Linros leaned as hard as he could to the right and the sword missed his chest and impaled his shoulder instead, passing straight through it and banging into the wall behind him.

A blood-curdling scream escaped his lips as Linros stared in shock at the sword protruding from his shoulder. Blood gushed from the wound as Erthalion pulled his sword out of him. He had not killed him, but the wound seemed to be bad enough to deter him, which was all Erthalion needed for now. He watched as Linros slid down the wall into a seated position, leaving a wet red mark on the wall as descended. The youngling was panicking, screaming once again and clutching his injured shoulder with his good arm.

Satisfied with himself, Erthalion turned and started to fight his way through the crowd towards Belegwen…

She was next.


	48. Evil Schemes

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 48: Evil Schemes

Kryx watched as the elves started to gain the upper hand in the battle once again. It seemed to stem from the appearance of an abnormally loud she-elf, who was shouting commands to the others and helping them succeed once again. Normally, with the large imbalance in numbers, the orcs and uruk-hai would have been winning. However, the appearance of the she-elf had empowered many of the elves to fight harder and smarter than they had before.

His master would not like this. Not at all.

Sauron hated all elves and Kryx knew they were the reason the dark powers had not yet overtaken Helm's Deep. The odds were still in their favor though and Sauron had ways of taking the elves down a few pegs. He had watched them from afar for a long time now and knew intimate details of their lives; it was all too easy for him to use their darkest secrets and fears against them.

Pulling away from the crowd, he turned down a darkened corner and ripped the large pouch from his side. Once he was certain no one was watching him, he pulled the dark cloth off the palantir he was carrying.

Immediately, the grey swirls within the sphere glowed orange and lit into a fiery flame. The great eye flashed into view and Kryx held the palantir as far away from his face as he could. Sauron's dark powers emanated painfully through the vessel and Kryx struggled to hold it up as the dark lord read his mind and interpreted his news. He hissed with displeasure at the turn of events and then showed Kryx precisely what to do to take the she-elf down.

Kryx tied the palantir back inside its pouch and carefully attached it to his belt. He would do as he was told and take down the she-elf before she caused them too much trouble!

ooOoo

"Gilhoth!" Belegwen shouted as she caught sight of his white blonde hair amid the chaos surrounding them. She tugged at Rumil's arm to guide him wordlessly towards the warden who was in a fight for his life near the entryway of the keep. Three orcs were surrounding him at once and Gilhoth moved quickly about, armed with a long knife and sword, to try and stave off the attack. He did not have another elf to fight back to back with though and was struggling to keep the orcs from swiping him with their crude metal weapons.

Rumil and Belegwen were still too far away to easily intervene, but Belegwen could tell that he would not last much longer without help. After stabbing an orc that was trying to claw at her face, Belegwen grabbed her stealth knife and threw it at the orc behind Gilhoth. It hit its mark perfectly and impaled him between his eyes. The foul beast fell against the wall of the keep, hissing for a moment before writhing on the ground until it laid still in death.

Belegwen had hoped her knife would be help enough to assist the greenhorn marchwarden, but it was not. When Gilhoth continued to struggle, Belegwen threw Nimrodel at one of the other orcs and impaled him through the chest. The sharp tip of her sword became forcefully lodged in the wall behind him, leaving the orc pinned to the wall as he screamed until death overtook him.

Though she was now weaponless, there were still orcs approaching Belegwen to fight. She yelled at them and used her elbows and knees to slam them away from her. She punched, kicked, and pulled their hair ferociously, anything to keep them away from her. Rumil also leaned in a couple of times and slashed at the orcs coming after her, but had to concentrate on protecting himself as well because the orcs around them had amassed rapidly.

A minute later, an uruk-hai who had its back to Belegwen was raising a scythe above his head; it dangled within Belegwen's reach. She jumped up and took hold of the weapon, gripping it tightly, then kicked the monster to the ground. She used the scythe to try and behead an orc that was attempting to pull her away from Rumil.

Unfortunately, the crude blade on the scythe was not very sharp and its jagged edge did not behead the creature, but instead made blood gush rapidly from its neck. It screamed and ran its clawed hand down Belegwen's cheek and neck, causing her to cry out in pain. In response, she beat the orc over the head with the scythe until it fell to the ground and grew still.

"I need my sword back!" Belegwen shouted, cursing repeatedly as she broke the useless metal off the scythe and used the splintered wooden pole that remained to pummel the orcs around her as best she could. The pole broke in half again as she brought it down onto the head of an orc who was taunting her with a knife.

She dropped what was left of the pole and grabbed the massive hand holding the knife between both of her own hands. Using all her strength, she jerked the orc's knife into the heart of an unsuspecting neighboring orc first, then kicked the orc who held the knife repeatedly until he cursed and let go, falling to the ground. Belegwen stomped on his face as hard as she could, then jerked the knife out of the other orc and twirled it around in her fingers, before starting to try and clear a pathway to Gilhoth again.

"Heledhril!" Belegwen heard Rumil shout through the snarling, shrieking crowd of orcs. "Grab her sword!"

Belegwen glanced over her shoulder and caught sight of Heledhril's grey eyes immediately. He was fighting right beside her sword and quickly yanked it out of the carcass that was hanging from the wall at the same time as he stabbed another orc, which was heading towards Gilhoth.

"Up high!" He shouted, then pointed to the sky.

Heledhril threw Nimrodel into the air. Belegwen stopped fighting for a second to try and figure out what to do. She did not need to though because a moment later, Belegwen felt Rumil grab her by the hips; his strong arms tossed her up into the air and she attempted to snatch the sword. Belegwen twisted around and screamed with effort as she stretched her arm up as high as she could to grab Nimrodel out of midair. She then whipped around in a circle and used the momentum she had to behead no fewer than five orcs surrounding her on her way back down.

With Nimrodel back in her hand, Belegwen felt her confidence return and without delay, set about clearing a pathway towards Gilhoth. Her fury knew no bounds as she plunged her blade through the exposed throat of an uruk-hai, then turned to defend Rumil by cutting the weapon-bearing arm off an orc who was charging him. A moment later, she found herself face to face with Gilhoth, who looked horrible. The elf was spackled with blue blood and panting from overexertion.

"Rumil, defend us while we speak!" She shouted, then watched as Rumil stepped in front of them and began to deflect incoming attacks.

"I have come to show you how to lead Gilhoth. We are going to call for the elves over here to retreat into the great hall. Once they have retreated, we will have those closer to the great hall retreat, as they have less distance to go. Do you know the whistle command for falling back?" She asked, speaking loudly so he could hear her over the blaring metallic noises of battle.

Belegwen did not get a chance to hear his answer though, as she saw a group of uruk-hai appear on the upper lever with bows. They started to shoot arrows at the remaining elves and men who were on the ground. She cursed and then shouted, "Arrows from on high! Use the orcs as shields! Pull them in front of you for protection!"

Several of the elves did just that and pulled struggling orcs in front of their bodies to block the onslaught of arrows, which were raining down on them. As she watched the uruk-hai start to dispense of their own soldiers, Belegwen caught sight of an elf that might be able to help them. It was a long shot, but she had to try.

"Eregdol! Take them out!" She screamed above the screeching cries of the dying orcs. "Take out the archers!"

Of all the elves available to her now, Eregdol was by far the best archer. In fact, he was considered to be one of the fastest and most accurate archers in all of Lothlorien. However, Eregdol also hated Belegwen and had been the reason she lost her status as marchwarden a month ago. Belegwen was uncertain whether or not he would obey her command, as he was certainly aware that she was not supposed to be leading the ranks right now.

Eregdol must have sensed the urgency of the situation though. Much to the awe of Belegwen, she watched as he immediately pulled his bow off his back and started to make quick work out of the uruk-hai archers. He repeatedly shot three arrows at a time into their midst, impaling them and sending the uruk-hai falling from the balcony and into the ranks of orcs that were fighting below them.

"Defend Eregdol! Give him your arrows!" Belegwen bellowed and watched as three elves surrounded him and started fighting off the orcs so Eregdol could shoot even faster. They also stuffed their arrows into his quiver so he had what he needed. One even started pushing orcs in front of Eregdol to block him from two uruk-hai who were attempting to return fire at him. Within minutes, Eregdol had decimated them all.

"Did you see how I handled the problem?" Belegwen asked Gilhoth, staring into his grey eyes intently. "When I see something happen, I evaluate the talents of those around me and use them to my advantage in order to defend the others. That is what we do Gilhoth—you must think through your actions quickly and decide what will save the most lives in the moment. It is time now—call for them to fall back, using both your voice and the whistle command!" She exclaimed.

"Fall back!" Gilhoth screamed through the ruckus, "Fall back into the great hall!"

"Now we watch and wait. If you see something that needs to be done, call attention to it!" Belegwen exclaimed, then scanned the room for potential problems. "What do you see Gilhoth? What needs to be done?"

He was given extra time to answer, as Belegwen had noticed Rumil was struggling to keep the orcs off of them; immediately, she jumped in to help him. With fury smeared across her face, Belegwen stabbed and slashed at the orcs until there was a more manageable amount.

"Aeldor, take Linros with you!" Belegwen heard Gilhoth shout through the crowd. "Do not leave the injured behind!"

Belegwen saw that Linros was propped up against the far wall with a bloody arm. She watched as an elf she barely knew ran up to him and threw Linros' uninjured arm over his shoulder. He then joined with another soldier to fight side by side and start cutting their way out of the masses of evil.

"Yes," Belegwen murmured to herself, then turned and shouted her praises to Gilhoth. "Yes! Do more! Keep watching!"

Ecstatic with Gilhoth's success, Belegwen felt hope enter her heart as she helped Rumil block Gilhoth from attacks so he could lead. Perhaps they could save some of the elves yet!

"Heledhril, come help us!" Belegwen shouted through the crowd. "We need to start moving towards the great hall as a group! Let us all go together!"

The group waited for Heledhril's powerful form to join them and then the group of four started to move in tandem towards the great hall. Belegwen's back was against Rumil and Heledhril's back was against Gilhoth. They fought in close quarters with one another, being careful not to hit the others as they pushed their way through the group of hissing and spitting orcs. Their movement through the crowd was slow and forced, as they were the only elves remaining close to the entryway at this point and many of the cretins were trying to fell them.

It was a deathtrap; Belegwen had known they would be in danger, but she had also known it was imperative for the other elves to leave before she did. She would not leave any behind willingly, just like Haldir. Though she was now tired, Belegwen fought on, knowing that her life and the life of Haldir's son depended upon it.

Suddenly Belegwen screamed as a massive uruk-hai jumped towards her and forcefully pushed her to the ground. The uruk-hai scrambled against her and tried to grasp at her right arm and leg as the two slid roughly over the uneven cobblestones and away from the safety of the other elves, bumping into several orcs as they skidded across the floor.

Once she was almost stopped, Belegwen quickly clamored to her feet and got her sword ready for action, only to have the uruk-hai grab her sword hand and squeeze her wrist tightly. She screamed as she was forced to drop Nimrodel from the unbearable pressure. Belegwen watched as her sword clanked against the cobblestones and then bounced across the floor until it was out of her reach.

Belegwen punched the uruk-hai in the face with her free hand, but it did not seem to faze the monstrous creature in the slightest. He instantly returned the favor though, pummeling Belegwen right in the eye and causing her head to bang backwards and hit the wall of the keep. She felt faint from the blow, but hastily tried to regain her bearings, meeting his menacing yellow eyes as the world gradually came back into focus.

"A she-elf in battle… How amusing!" The creature exclaimed, then cackled and grasped her wrist even more firmly than before, causing Belegwen to tremble in pain. She feared her wrist could not withstand much more of this treatment. She again tried to pull away from him, but it was useless. He was far too strong for her.

The uruk-hai leaned in so that he was dangerously close to her face. Belegwen almost became sick when she was forced to breathe in the foul breath that was emanating from his sharp, jagged teeth. "My master Sauron sends his greetings to you marchwarden." His low voice growled menacingly into her ear. "It is he who is responsible, you know…"

"Responsible for what?" Belegwen said through her clenched teeth, struggling to try and kick the uruk-hai and pull away from his grip. In response, he pulled her arm up higher, which pulled her feet off the floor. He snatched up her other arm and held it up against the wall as well, pushing his body up against hers so she could not kick him any longer.

His eyes flashed orange and Belegwen's breath suddenly caught in her mouth as she sensed the presence of Sauron himself entering the room. The uruk-hai's voice changed, as though he was possessed by the disgraced maia himself. "Your family's death." He answered in a voice that was unlike his own.

Suddenly, a vision flashed before her eyes…

_Belegwen saw her naneth opening the door to their talan. Appearing to be shocked at who was there, she had but a second to react to what was happening before she was immediately impaled with a dagger through her chest. She convulsed as she fell to the floor and began to silently bleed out at the feet of her brother Nenrim, who had followed her to the door. Nenrim screamed and started to back up, only to be stabbed in the same way. He fell heavily to the ground, like a sack of potatoes, right beside her naneth. He bled and gurgled for a few moments, then died._

_Belegond was the last to show up to the scene. He ran out of the back room after hearing the scream, but was unprepared for the unexpected scene laid out before him. He was unarmed, and so the three orcs easily cornered him in the kitchen. He fought them valiantly, smashing crystal dinnerware into them and then fighting them hand to hand. He was outnumbered three to one though and it was all over when two of the orcs smashed his face into the corner of the dinner table. Once he fell to the floor, he was stabbed repeatedly with the same dagger the first orc had used on his wife and son._

Belegwen shouted as the fiery eye flashed before her. The presence of great evil was surrounding her and strangling her with its hopelessness. The enormous uruk-hai was not done toying with her yet though. He pushed his head into Belegwen's hair and sniffed her, his nose nuzzling her ear uncomfortably before he whispered to her, "I killed your husband…" With that, another vision flashed before her eyes.

_Belegwen saw the very same uruk-hai bringing his weapon down forcefully onto Haldir's back. Haldir's head lifted to sky and he hollered out in pain as a large sword crushed into his back. The rain poured down around him as he was brought to his knees, staring around him in confusion at the elves, men, and orcs that he was about to join in death. He then fell backwards, his eyes unseeing as he stared into the darkness of the cloud-covered sky._

Somehow, Belegwen managed to pull her face away from the uruk-hai for a moment. Her eyes enlarged and her jaw quivered as she stared at the mangled face of the uruk-hai in horror of that revelation. This beast had taken her most cherished husband from this world—Haldir, who had vowed to love her forever.

She shivered as the uruk-hai's eyes met hers once again and flared with bright orange fire, just like the vast eye upon its tower. The air hung heavily around them and Belegwen fretted for her elfling, as she felt certain she was about to endure the black speech of Mordor once more.

Laughing at her fear, the uruk-hai finished his grand speech in a low voice. "…and now, I will kill you."

Just as a whisper of words began to lilt through air, a scream echoed through the entire entryway. Startled, both the uruk-hai and Belegwen turned to look and see what was happening beside them. Heledhril was near them, holding up a hand into the air with his fingers fully extended. A great light started to shine and envelop him, starting from his hand and quickly covering his entire arm and body with a pure, white light.

"Be gone, evil of the void! You have no dominion here!" Heledhril's voice screamed, echoing throughout the entire entryway.

The light, which was full of power, exploded all around them. Belegwen felt the uruk-hai release her arms and she fell to the ground, which shook as if it would give away from the blast of power. She heard the bricks around her start to crack and a couple of the cobblestones beneath her feet crumbled into dust.

Then, as suddenly as the light had appeared, it was gone. Belegwen's eyes met Heledhril's. He had fallen to his knees next to Gilhoth and was breathing heavily; several of the orcs who were previously surrounding him were now dead. The two elves both noticed that Nimrodel was lying next to his feet at the same time. Heledhril said nothing, but when he sliced his arm sharply through the air, the sword slid across the floor and stopped at her feet of its own volition.

With a nod of acknowledgement, Belegwen quickly grabbed up the sword and found her footing, immediately noticing that the uruk-hai who had trapped her was doing the same. She watched as the monstrous figure unsheathed his sword. It was massive, his dark sword, appearing to be even larger and heavier than the one Haldir had carried. One side looked sharp, while the other side had a jagged edge that looked like it could be used as a saw.

Their eyes met, an unlikely union of clear blue and glowing yellow, in a battle of dominion over one another. The uruk-hai moved first, running forward and slashing at her with the jagged edge of the sword. Belegwen dodged left and then jumped up as he swung low.

She noticed the wall next to where they were fighting and quickly ran up it and used her momentum to flip over the uruk-hai so that she landed behind him. Belegwen quickly tried to slash at the backs of his knees as he turned to face her, then slid between his legs just in time to avoid having his sword come down on her head.

"Belegwen, hold on! I'm on my way!" She vaguely heard Rumil shout in the distance, but did not have time to reply as the uruk-hai was surprisingly fast for his large size and was already launching a new offensive against her. Belegwen knew she was no match for his strength, but was able to continue dodging his attacks repeatedly and then finally landed a nasty slash across his eye, which made the beast screech in pain.

"YOU'RE DEAD, SHE-ELF!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs, then came at her more angrily than before. Blue blood gushed from his forehead and eye as he lashed out at Belegwen wildly. His fury was clouding his mind and judgment as he swung at Belegwen repeatedly.

This should have been to Belegwen's advantage, but the more blows she dodged, the slower her body seemed to be moving. She had pushed herself far beyond her capabilities as a pregnant elleth at this point and it was starting to show.

Belegwen yelped as his sword knicked her upper arm when she stepped back to dodge his sudden lunge towards her. Pushing through the pain, Belegwen spun around him and tried to behead the beast, but he was too fast. Before her sword could meet his neck, he turned and parried her blow from above his head. Immediately, he pushed down on his sword using all of his brute strength and started to push her sword back down towards her own head.

Belegwen reinforced her grip on the sword by bracing her other hand carefully on the sharpened edge of the blade, trying her best not to cut herself on Nimrodel's razor-sharp edge. She pushed up on her sword to try and prevent the uruk-hai from bringing his own sword down on her.

They struggled in a battle of wills, Belegwen's arms shaking with effort and her neck so tense that her corded muscles showed painfully through her skin. Her body smarted with effort, but still she pushed on, ignoring how her feet were starting to slide against the cobblestones from the unrelenting press of her enemy's sword.

"Heledhril, try and get to Belegwen! Now!" She heard Rumil gruffly shouting through the noise. Things had not calmed down around them and Belegwen knew the soldiers wanted to help her, but were being prevented by the hoards that were swarming around them.

The weight of the uruk-hai's sword was grating against her muscles, testing every reserve of strength that Belegwen had. She felt her knees start to buckle underneath the agonizing pressure. She then thought of what would happen to her elfling if she lost and screamed as she put forth even more effort. Her knees locked back into a standing position and she started to push the sword away from its dangerous position near her face. She would win against this uruk-hai, even if it was the last thing she ever did!

ooOoo

Heledhril swung his knife and sword expertly, doing his best to defend himself and Gilhoth, who was still fighting back to back with him. They were stuck dangerously in the middle of a swarm of orcs, waiting for Rumil to bring Belegwen back so they could use the safety of numbers to plow through the masses in the best way possible.

Rumil had went after Belegwen right after a malicious uruk-hai had pushed her out of their group, but was struggling to make it over to her on his own. Even though Heledhril had blasted several of the orcs with his power, there were many orcs surrounding all of them. Though Rumil was holding his own somehow, he was not progressing through the crowd very well.

Rumil had called for Heledhril to follow and assist, but he too was struggling to move through the horde at this point. Heledhril knew Gilhoth was not a strong enough fighter to be left on his own in this situation and so the two were trying to traverse the crowd together, but it was slow going. They were not making progress any more quickly than Rumil.

All the while, a bad omen seemed to be mounting within his mind. Something was wrong, but Heledhril was uncertain about what it was. He tried to visually search for the problem, but kept getting distracted by orc after hissing orc. He turned behind him to slash at the eyes of an orc that was starting to get the better of Gilhoth and that was when he saw it.

Erthalion was coming. For a brief moment, Heledhril thought it was like old times and that his friend, who was a very strong fighter, was coming to their aid as he plowed a path through the orcs. It was not so though, for Heledhril soon saw precisely where his eyes were trained. He was not coming to help…

He was coming to attack Belegwen.

"Gilhoth, we must hurry to Belegwen! There is not much time!" He shouted over the shrieks of the orcs surrounding them. They were trying to claw at them and hit them with weapons. It was nearly all he could do just to keep them from injuring him and Gilhoth.

Still, it was Heledhril's duty to protect Belegwen and he would see it done. Working harder than before, Heledhril started to lead Gilhoth back towards the entryway where Belegwen was battling a massive uruk-hai for her life. The uruk-hai was trying to force his sword down upon her head, but Belegwen was adamantly holding it off with her own sword, although it was not without struggle. She looked exhausted underneath the pressure of the monster's strength and was barely keeping the serrated edge of his sword away from her face.

Heledhril's eyes swung back to Erthalion, who was somehow making much quicker progress through the orcs. He was fighting like an elf who had nothing left to lose, which made him even more dangerous than before. The treacherous glint in his eyes told Heledhril that he would stop at nothing to complete his task.

Heledhril knew he had to beat him to Belegwen somehow. Grabbing Gilhoth and holding him against him, he put his arm out once again. The finger that held the source of his power lit up first, which was followed by his whole hand glowing. Energy filled the air and crackled around him; unnatural winds blew his dark gold hair back as he accessed all the extra power he could muster and shouted confidently, "Evils of Mordor, remove yourselves from my path!"

White light shot from his hand and pushed the screaming orcs out of his way, instantly killing several who were within his direct line of fire. He shivered from exertion, but pushed ahead while dragging Gilhoth awkwardly behind him, all while maintaining the power exuding from his hand. Heledhril could barely see what was happening in front of him as he pushed closer to Belegwen, moving as quickly as he could.

As the light from his hand died down, he saw the uruk-hai had been distracted by his power and Belegwen had used the diversion to push his sword away from her. She was now gripping her sword with two hands and was about to lodge it into the uruk-hai's exposed neck.

The orcs around her had been decimated by Heledhril's power though, which created a clear pathway for Erthalion. He was now running at full speed towards her with his sword poised to strike.

As Belegwen mercilessly plunged her sword into the uruk-hai, Heledhril started to run towards Erthalion and shouted at the top of his lungs, "BELEGWEN, LOOK OUT!"

It all happened so fast.

Belegwen saw Erthalion's attack coming towards her. He was aiming for the spot where her armor's bodice was perilously hanging open. Holding onto Nimrodel, which she had just thrust deeply into the uruk-hai's neck, she jumped backward to avoid the blow.

She did not jump far enough though.

Heledhril reached Erthalion just as he sank his sword through her middle. Her high-pitched scream reverberated through the corridor as all of the elves stopped to stare at the sight. Erthalion screamed as well and when Heledhril looked down, he was shocked to find that his own sword had reflexively pierced through the weak point in Erthalion's armor. He had involuntarily run him through!

He had killed his friend.

_He had killed another elf._

And without his guidance this time, the ring on his little finger lit up once again and sent the brightest of lights cascading down his sword and into Erthalion. At once, the dead body was obliterated.

The will of the Valar was complete.

Shocked by what had happened, Heledhril froze while he watched Rumil drop his sword and run up to Belegwen, who had fallen to her knees with the sword still sticking out of her torso. His ears could not hear any sounds in his distressed state, but he could see that Rumil was screaming. His hands were clenching his head in horror of what had happened to his best friend.

All feeling left Heledhril's body as he watched Rumil lift up the flap to her bodice, revealing the secret Belegwen had somehow managed to keep from him…

She was pregnant.

"No," he whispered, still frozen in place. He distantly felt Gilhoth grabbing at his arm to pull him somewhere, but he could not move, so great was his mental turmoil.

_"I caused this,"_ he thought to himself as he vaguely realized that more orcs were starting to run towards them, poised for attack. _"I am the reason Belegwen is out here! I have failed her! It is all my fault!"_

Heledhril had tried to carry out the lady's will, but he had failed. He was no hero… Oh no.

If anything, Heledhril was now a murderer.


	49. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks go out to Queen_Lightwood for the comment and to my other readers for the kudos! I'm glad you're enjoying my story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 49: Hope

If Belegwen had not been pregnant, it would have been a miss.

Rumil had watched in horror as Erthalion approached her faster than he or Heledhril could have hoped to intercept. Moments later, he had stabbed Belegwen in the one place where she was most vulnerable, right where her armor hung dangerously open due to her growing elfling.

Belegwen had instantaneously heeded Heledhril's warning cry and jumped away from the incoming sword. However, she had clearly underestimated her current girth and was impaled by the point of his sword, much to the collective shock and terror of all the elves that surrounded her.

While Rumil was also aware that Heledhril had not only stabbed, but also somehow obliterated Erthalion, he only had eyes for his sister in this moment. He ran towards her as she fell to the ground, dragging with her the corpse of the massive uruk-hai she impaled through the neck with Nimrodel. Rumil watched as the beast came to rest atop her upon his arrival. Though it took a great deal of effort, Rumil used all of his strength to push the carcass off her, yanking her bloody sword out of its filthy remains in the process.

"Belegwen! Belegwen!" He shouted after uncovering her, shaking her to try and garner some sort of response from her frighteningly unmoving figure. Her large eyes immediately turned to his and he saw that her lip was quivering as she gasped for air. Indeed, she was still alive!

The frozen look of trepidation on her face told him that she might be in shock. Trying not to panic, Rumil glanced down her body and saw that much of her armored bodice was smeared and dripping with the uruk-hai's dark blue blood. He needed to see the damage her body had sustained though and so he carefully lifted her up into his arms before pulling up the unlatched armor to see what had been done.

Erthalion's sword was still inside of her and had pierced through the very top of her stomach from one side to the other. It was a shallow wound though, a near miss, and Rumil could see movement happening from within her as the skin beneath the sword rippled repeatedly. The elfling was somehow still alive and moving, at least for now. Blood and some other fluid was gushing from the wound though and Rumil knew that Belegwen needed immediate medical attention.

He had to get her to Linedhel and fast.

Without warning her first, Rumil carefully pulled Erthalion's sword out of her with one swift, backwards motion. Belegwen yelped and jumped in response, then laid on the ground moaning, her hands gripping at her stomach as if it was her lifeline. The bleeding had now increased and Rumil could see the thick red liquid leaking out from beneath her fingertips.

There was no time to waste; Rumil could already hear more orcs approaching them quickly. "We must make haste! Can you walk if I help you? I do not think I can carry you and fight off the orcs at the same time!" Rumil said quickly as he stood up, scanning the room to gauge how much time they had before he would have to start fighting again.

"I will try," she muttered as she grabbed up her sword and reached up to grasp his extended arm. Wasting no time, Rumil pulled her to her feet, being as careful as he could while trying to move fast. Belegwen groaned as he tugged her arm tightly over his shoulder and held her bent over form around the waist as firmly as he could. He did his best to avoid putting pressure onto her wound. His sword hand was free and he held his weapon at the ready as orcs once again started to run towards the elves.

Rumil was able to get beside Gilhoth and Heledhril just as the next wave of orcs started to congregate around them. Immediately, they were engaged in battle once more. Swords flashed in the torchlight as Gilhoth and Rumil fought as hard as they could to pass through the horde.

Rumil was only able to glance briefly at Heledhril, who Gilhoth was seemingly dragging behind him at this point. The elf was as pale as a sheet and his eyes looked blank, as if his mind had just stopped. They really needed his help, but Rumil could tell that he could no longer be counted on.

It was just him and Gilhoth at this point. Luckily, it seemed Gilhoth had finally hit his stride and was putting up a stronger fight than he had been earlier in the evening. Having now almost died several times, he seemed to have somehow found his confidence.

Rumil figured Belegwen was to thank for that. Though the other soldiers had given up on him quickly, Belegwen had insisted on going to find him and had done what she could to instruct and assist him. Now he seemed more self-assured in his actions and was fighting with all his ability to try and help them reach safety.

Gasping in fear as he suddenly felt Belegwen move beside him, Rumil's eyes flashed over her only to find that she was stabbing an orc that had been approaching him from the side. Even in her injured state, Belegwen apparently could not be held down. Rumil knew she was aware of how dire their situation was and felt relieved that she could help them, even if it was just a little bit.

Having finally made it out of the entryway, Rumil overheard Gilhoth's voice shouting. He took command of the elves fighting further ahead of them by calling out, "Fall back to the great hall! Pair up and fight together to get through the crowd!"

His whistle command rang out clearly through the air and the remaining elves obeyed at once. Orcs were still hissing and clawing at them, but Rumil and Gilhoth were making slow and steady progress through the hoard. Together they slashed, parried, kicked, and punched to create a pathway through the violent cretins. Blue blood splashed from their swords as they left a pile of destruction in their wake.

Rumil could hardly think straight, both from fear and exhaustion. He had been fighting for hours at this point and had been nicked and pummeled several times during the course of the battle. For his nephew's sake though, he knew he had to get Belegwen to Linedhel. Perhaps something could still be done to help the elfling… The hope of his brother's youngling surviving gave him the encouragement he needed to press onward through the horde.

After several more minutes of increased effort, Rumil found himself shocked beyond all comprehension as he caught sight of the doors that led to the great hall. There were several men and elves fighting orcs in front of the door. Upon their arrival, they guided them through the chaos and into the massive, vaulted room.

He stopped, but only for a moment, to catch his breath before he sheathed his dripping sword. He watched as Gilhoth dropped Heledhril's unresponsive body to the ground, also gasping for air as tried to wipe the blue blood off his face with his hand. It smeared across his face and dripped off his chin as he closed his eyes and winced in pain.

Rumil then turned to Belegwen, who met his eyes once again. She was in much worse shape now, panting heavily and leaving a trail of her own red blood dripping behind her as she hobbled along beside him. She was leaning heavily into his arm and was struggling to stay upright. "Rumil," she moaned, "The elfling is moving so much! I think he might be coming now, but it is too soon!"

Rumil felt his blood go cold and automatically feared the worst, but tried his best not to panic for his sister's sake. He touched her cheek gently and replied, "Everything will be okay gwathel. Let us get you to Linedhel."

Making haste, Rumil swept his arm under Belegwen's legs and held her up against his chest with ease. He started running towards the entrance to the caves, ignoring the looks he was receiving from the other elves and men around him.

ooOoo

"Linedhel! Linedhel!" Belegwen heard Rumil shouting as he ran down the long, darkened stairway leading to the caves. She knew Rumil was not meaning to, but the speed in which he was taking the stairs was jostling her around and making her feel a lot worse. Feeling dizzy and disoriented, Belegwen closed her eyes and leaned her head against the bloody breastplate of Rumil's armor.

When she could manage to think straight, her thoughts would stray to Haldir. She had told him she would stay out of the battle and then she went anyway, acknowledging openly that her duty was supposed to come before everything else. Now it seemed as if she might pay the ultimate price for it though—with the life of her little ellon.

The elfling was still alive for now; Belegwen could feel him kicking and moving all around within her more than she ever had before. The elfling was sitting much lower in her stomach than he previously was though and she suspected that it meant he was about to come out. It was not the right time for him to leave her womb though. Gestation for the elves was supposed to last a year and Belegwen knew the elfling had only been within her for eight or nine months now. It was much too soon and she still feared the elfling might have been mangled from Erthalion's attack.

 _"_ _What have I done?! I am so sorry Haldir… So sorry!"_ She thought to herself as she felt Rumil jump off the stairs and start to run towards the familiar dim light of the caves.

Would Haldir ever forgive her if she lost his son? Belegwen shivered at the thought.

"Please hear me, Eru Iluvatar. Even if it means sacrificing my own life, please let the elfling live." She whispered almost incoherently as she felt herself being lowered onto the cold stone floor of the caves. "Do not let Haldir's little ion die. Please." She begged soundlessly as she looked to the sky.

"Belegwen, can you hear me?" A voice came from beside her. She moved her head to the right and saw Linedhel's concerned grey eyes shining down upon her. Belegwen could feel him squeezing her hand as she looked up at him and nodded, shivering a bit as brutal pain pulsed through her midsection where she had been stabbed.

"Can you feel the elfling moving still?" He asked her, his eyes very serious and stern, just as they were when she first met him. It then dawned on Belegwen that Linedhel probably was not a stern elf by choice; he had just witnessed too many horrible things in his life, much like herself, and chose to deal with it by closing himself off emotionally.

Belegwen nodded to answer his question, then murmured in a course, low voice, "I think… I think he is going to come out soon."

Linedhel cursed softly and began his inspection of her. She felt him remove the armor from her midsection, which was followed by several more curses. "Esgalamon, bring me a pail of warm water, a couple of blankets, the healing salve, my set of clamps, a needle, and some thread! Rumil, help me remove the rest of her armor."

She laid there completely still while she felt the two of them removing all of her armor. All she could concentrate on was the horrible throbbing of her middle and the look of disdain she pictured Haldir giving her when he found out what she had done.

 _"_ _He is dead,"_ She reminded herself mentally, though it did not seem to help lessen her guilty conscience. Belegwen felt certain that Haldir would hate her for what she had done and continued to fret over it. _"He is dead and you have killed his one and only son, you foolish elleth!"_

"Belegwen," she heard a voice murmur, which ripped her away from her self-depreciating thoughts. A warm wet cloth was softly moving around on her face and momentarily, she came back to reality to see Rumil's worried blue eyes shining above her. She listened as he tried to reassure her, saying, "Everything is going to be okay gwathel. Linedhel will take good care of you; I promise."

How desperately Belegwen wanted to believe Rumil! However, her thoughts continued spiraling downward into a dark hopeless place, the likes of which she could not escape. The black thoughts took her captive and she could not tear herself away from their iron grasp. Oh, how she longed for a path away from the pain!

How easy it would be now to simply let go and follow Haldir to the Halls of Mandos, she thought to herself idly after recriminating herself repeatedly over the choice she had made. Belegwen closed her eyes and felt herself once again start to fade away…

_The sea's waves were lapping gently against her ears as she felt herself arrive somewhere new. She could feel her wet hair matting against her face and shoulders as the bubbly white tops of small waves rushed all around her. The water rubbed repeatedly against her body as she stared at the almost darkened sky above her, shining with the first few stars of night. So very chilly it was as it caressed in between her fingers, then washed back down her legs. Her leggings and undershirt were both completely soaked and clinging tightly to her body, making her shiver as a frigid wind blew over her._

_She could hear two elves calling her name repeatedly in the distance, but she could not see them. All she could see was how the blue melted into indigo and then was lined with the deepest of violets in the dusk sky above her. The salty smell of the seawater filled her mind with a peace she had not known since she was but an elfling. She sighed at the beauty of it all as she felt her body start to float away from the shore and into the welcoming waters._

_A flash of glistening white light startled her and she blinked, then looked to her right and gasped._

_"Ada!"_

_Indeed it was Belegond, there in the flesh. His lean, strong form was dressed in the grey tunic that completed the warden's uniform and he looked precisely as she remembered him. His chest-length silver hair was pulled back with several tiny warrior braids on the sides of his head and one thick braid held back the top section of his hair. His gentle blue eyes, which were identical to her own, held her stare as she floated in the water next to him. He was standing up in the sea and looking down at her. The water's gentle waves sloshed around his waist._

_"My darling little Belegwen…" he said quietly, a sad smile unfurling slowly on his face. "How I have missed you."_

_Belegwen was stunned to see him and stared at him with a look of shock and awe before she was finally able to choke out a few whispered words. "I have missed you too… ada."_

_She shuddered from the cold water, but suddenly felt warmth fill her body as his hand came to rest upon her shoulder, stopping her from floating any further into the sea. She closed her eyes and took a moment to appreciate the comfort of her adar's gentle touch once more. Belegwen felt very tired and confused about what was happening as their eyes met once more underneath the starlit sky._

_Somehow she gathered up the strength to ask him the most pressing question on her mind. "Why are you here ada? I do not understand."_

_He broke away from her gaze and stared out into the distance for a long while before answering. His hand tightened briefly on her shoulder, then relaxed, along with the tension in his countenance._

_When he did finally speak, his voice was filled with emotion and came out no louder than a whisper. "I have waited so long to see you, dearest iel of mine. My heart is so full in this moment, and yet… I am here to send you back."_

_Pain was evident in his eyes as he looked back down at her floating form. "It pains me to see you this way Belegwen. The great hope that has lingered within you all these years, that which endured throughout your many trials and hardships, has now been lost. You have allowed yourself to fade away, as if it is gone forever! Do you not see it though? It lingers beside you, just a hairsbreadth from your fingertips, ready to be grasped once again."_

_Belegwen was not sure if what he was saying was unclear or if she was just too tired to comprehend it, but it was making little sense to her. Her adar seemed to be aware of it though and quickly clarified. "There is still hope for you Belegwen. All you must do is reach out and take hold of it once more, my love."_

_"But ada… I have killed my own ion by taking him to battle! He was all that was left of my hervenn…" She sobbed, her tears feeling cold on her warm cheeks. "He was all I had left and now he is gone!"_

_Bending down to her ear, he whispered, "All is not yet lost, iel of mine. If you turn back now, you will find out what awaits you there." Before he stood back up, he gently kissed her forehead, lingering a few seconds to savor the moment. A single tear from his eye landed on Belegwen's cheek and mingled with her own. "Swim back Belegwen, for you are needed by many in fair Lothlorien. One lovely day in the future, we shall be together once more in Valinor. You will then understand why I sent you back."_

_Suddenly desiring her world once more, Belegwen cried out as her adar let go of her shoulder. Her body once again felt freezing cold as she lost contact with his touch. Shivering fiercely, she slowly flipped onto her stomach in the water and forced herself to swim weakly back to shore. She panted as she crawled feebly back onto the sandbar before rolling over and collapsing into the wet sand. Once again, she stared at the sky and the few stars that adorned it._

_"Ada, will I ever live up to your name?" She asked faintly as the glistening stars started to fade from her vision._

_"Worry not, my darling Belegwen," his voice reassured her as it faded from her ears, "You already have."_

All of a sudden, a sharp scent entered Belegwen's nose and made her gasp and sneeze repeatedly. Belegwen inhaled deeply and her eyes Immediately caught sight of a small vial of smelling salts moving away from her nose. She felt herself grimace as the pain of her affliction washed back over her.

Rumil's anxious face was hovering directly above her own and she heard him speaking to someone distantly. "…awake …looking at me…"

"Belegwen… Belegwen, can you hear me?" She heard more closely as she saw Linedhel lean his head over her body, his hands appearing to be busily sewing something back together… her middle. He was sewing her sword wound back together.

When he asked her the same question again, Belegwen tried to answer, but found that her mouth was too dry to do so. She nodded lightly instead, meeting Linedhel's worried eyes with her own.

"Thank the Valar! Now tell me, is the elfling still moving within you?" He asked, his hand moving calmly and steadily over her middle. When she concentrated, she could feel the pinprick of his tiny needle as he carefully sewed her up. To answer his question, she closed her eyes and tried to figure out if she could still feel the ellon moving or not.

She felt nothing and shook her head. The little ellon was no longer moving inside of her. A pang of fear shot through her as she realized what that might mean. All the while, she became aware of the heavy pressure that was steadily growing between her legs. It felt like the elfling was poised to leave her body, but her stubborn voice would not allow the words to come out.

Belegwen coughed as she tried to speak until Rumil held a small ladle of water up to her mouth. She greedily drank it, then coughed a few more times before she could finally manage to put a string of words together. "Linedhel… The elfling, I think he is about to come out…" She croaked out.

"Rhiach." She heard him mutter, then awkwardly tried to balance several metal gadgets in his hand which was already holding the needle and thread. She felt his other hand start to press firmly against her stomach in several spots, as if to get a feel for where the elfling was. She heard him curse again and then watched as he gave Rumil a pointed look.

"Oh, surely you are not serious..." Rumil started, shaking his head at the healer as if he had grown a second head. "I cannot do that!"

"I am not just sewing her skin right now, but also her womb. This is a very delicate process and I cannot set it down and leave it unfinished at this point. The elfling is coming now and you must catch him." Linedhel said resolutely.

"No! It is inappropriate! I cannot look at… at that! She is my sister!" Rumil said, stumbling over his words as his face filled with alarm.

Belegwen looked down at him in disbelief. Apparently even Rumil, an elf who had seemingly no notion of physical boundaries with others, had a line that could not be crossed. This was it. Belegwen was not exactly too keen about Rumil seeing _that_ either, but it was an emergency! She knew Esgalamon was the only other option and there was no way she was going to let that judgmental elf be the one to catch her elfling!

"Please Rumil," she begged in a low voice, making eye contact with her frightened brother. "Haldir is not here and I trust you. I… I want it to be you. Please."

Rumil was shaking his head in bewilderment as he made his way out of her vision. "Haldir will never forgive me for this…" She heard him mutter to himself as she felt his shaky fingers carefully lifting up the blanket that covered her lower half. Cold air surrounded her suddenly and awakened her senses as she heard Rumil moan in horror and then curse by her feet.

"Linedhel, something is happening!" Rumil practically squealed, his voice higher than she had ever heard it. Belegwen felt the healer shuffle around again and lean towards him to see what he was looking at. "Is this what it is supposed to look like?!"

"Yes, that is normal. That is the elfling's head; she is crowning." The healer said in a soothing voice, probably now realizing that he was taxing Rumil beyond what he could withstand. "Take a deep breath Rumil and try to relax. All you have to do is catch him. Make sure you support the elfling's head and neck when he comes out."

Rumil was down there hyperventilating though. Belegwen could hear him breathing heavily and cursing repeatedly under his breath. She had not known Rumil was squeamish. She felt sorry about asking him to help at this point, but she said nothing since there was no other option.

Belegwen felt Linedhel sewing her up faster now and groaned as she felt the sword wounds throbbing with pain. Linedhel's eyes were on her immediately and he bent down to speak with her. "I am trying to hurry so I can help him Belegwen. From what I can see though, it looks as though you could push the elfling out at any point now. You may go ahead and try if you would like."

"But… I do not know how." She whispered, then moaned as another wave of pain from her wound permiated through her body. Elvish childbirth in and of itself was a painless affair, much different from the toiling labor mortal women had to go through. Still, between the fact that Belegwen's body had not been fully prepared to do this today and the stab wound Erthalion had inflicted on her, Belegwen was definitely in pain.

"I do not know if I can do this Linedhel," she admitted softly, starting to feel scared. "I am not strong enough!" She whimpered. As she started to feel the darkness close around her once again, her adar's words rang through her mind…

 _"_ _There is still hope for you Belegwen. All you must do is reach out and take hold of it once more, my love."_

Suddenly she felt a hand squeezing her own. Linedhel was leaning close to her face and looking her in the eyes with sincerity and concern. "You can do this Belegwen! Do you not understand? Eru Iluvatar himself created your body with this very purpose in mind, to bring life into this world. Long have the ellyth of this world completed this task and so will you. Even if your mind does not know what to do, your body does. Concentrate and listen to your body's cues and in no time the elfling will be born."

"What if he is injured or…or-"

Linedhel squeezed her hand tightly once more and said, "We do not know yet, so do not assume the worst. Instead, you must hope for the best."

"You can do this Belegwen. Send my sweet nephew straight into my arms." She heard Rumil chime in unsteadily. Though he was still uncomfortable with the situation, Belegwen could tell that he was trying to be brave for her. If he could do it, so could she!

Belegwen took several deep and slow breaths and tried to ignore the pain emanating from her middle. Instead, she focused on the growing pressure between her legs. She tried to relax her midsection as much as she could. She soon realized that a few muscles down there were actively flexing and trying to guide the elfling out. Clenching her face and biting her lip, Belegwen tried to push and help them along. Judging by the yelp she heard from Rumil, it must have worked.

Indeed, she felt his warm fingers grasping at something slippery coming from within her. "The head is halfway out gwathel!" Rumil called to her, his high voice shaking with nervousness. "Keep going!"

Belegwen pushed again and vaguely heard Rumil gasp. "Linedhel… Linedhel!"

"Just a minute, I am almost done! Keep a hold of his head and neck Rumil!" Linedhel chided calmly. Belegwen glanced up at him and indeed, it looked as though he was finishing up her stitching and tying it into place, working much faster than she had seen him work before.

Despite the pain that surrounded her wound and the harsh pressure below, Belegwen continued to push as often as her body allowed. She could feel the elfling slowly moving out of her with each of her motions and the pressure finally started to subside.

"Help me Linedhel! He is out! I have him!" She heard Rumil exclaim. Linedhel crawled out of her sightline and there was a long silence that scared Belegwen as she waited to find out what had happened to Haldir's ion.

"He breathes," she finally heard Linedhel gasp in amazement. "He is very small, but he appears to be unhurt! Belegwen, it is a miracle!"

Belegwen released the breath she had not realized she was holding and looked to the sky to thank Eru Iluvatar for this act of mercy and love. Somehow the elfling had survived her horrendous choice. She was blessed to have Haldir's son after all!

Her head fell backwards to the ground, only to be lifted up by Rumil's strong arms a moment later. He pushed her armored bodice underneath her upper back so that she was propped up into a reclined sitting position. Kissing her temple, he looked at her with a mix of awe and wonder as he struggled to catch his breath. "You have done it Belegwen! He is beautiful!"

"Thank you," she whispered as she felt a tear roll down her cheek while she held Rumil's gaze. "Thank you for catching him. I am sorry you had to see that, uh… that side of me."

Rumil flushed red with embarrassment, but then grabbed her up and held her close, her head resting against his armored shoulder as he carefully rubbed her upper back. "Anything for you gwathel…" He whispered into her ear as he rocked her nervously, still shaking from his own anxiety. "Anything for you."

Belegwen closed her eyes as a memory from Caras Galadhon passed through her mind after she heard Rumil's words…

 _"_ _Anything for you," Haldir said as he crawled back into bed with her and allowed her to settle into the crook of his muscular arm for the night. She had fallen asleep in his warm arms for the first time that night, staring at the stars through the skylight of her room as she listened to Haldir's even breaths while he slept peacefully beside her._

Suddenly she could not stop her hot tears from falling. Moving carefully to try not to disturb her throbbing middle, Belegwen wrapped her arms tightly around Rumil's neck and sobbed silently. As if sensing what was happening, she felt Rumil tighten his grip on her. His hands and body started shaking as well and Belegwen knew that he was right there with her.

The one elf who was supposed to be here to share in this moment was not.

Haldir should have been there. Haldir should have gotten a chance to catch the elfling as she had pushed him out of herself. Haldir should have been the first one to hold his tiny newborn son.

Her son would not get to know his adar though.

The permanence of the situation really sank in for the second time that night and Belegwen shattered into pieces while Rumil held onto her for dear life. They had both counted on Haldir's presence and were lost knowing that he would not be part of their lives anymore.

Belegwen did not know how long they held each other crying, but she finally pulled away from Rumil and wiped her eyes when she saw Linedhel approaching them. He looked solemnly at the pair as he knelt down with a bundle wrapped in a brown blanket. He said nothing as he carefully handed the elfling over to Belegwen, guiding her hand to support his head and neck reflexively. Once he was resting securely in her arms, she immediately opened up the blanket to gaze down at the tiny ellon's form.

He was quite small—about the length of her forearm. The little one was perfect though, somehow completely unmarred by Erthalion's sword. He had all of his fingers and toes and the most beautiful blue eyes…

_Haldir's eyes._

"Thank you Linedhel." She whispered as she looked at the youngling in awe. "I can scarcely believe he is here!"

The three gazed at the elfling in silence for several moments, then Linedhel said, "We will need to keep our eyes carefully trained on this young one. He seems well enough, but he is a very early arrival. I will check in with you every hour until we are certain that he is eating, crying, and excreting properly. Once he can prove to do all of those things, I think it will be safe to say that he will be alright."

"Yes, of course," Belegwen agreed, still entranced with the tiny form in her arms. She traced over his arms and fingers, very much in awe of what she and Haldir had created together. So entranced she was with the little one that she did not even notice when Linedhel got up to leave.

Eventually she looked up at Rumil and asked him, "Do you think he is strong enough to survive?"

He smiled down at her confidently and replied, "He is the son of two marchwardens and is already a veteran of war before he is even a day old." He ran a soft finger down the side of the elfling's face, then continued, "Already, I see that he has the strength and determination of his naneth. He will make it through; there is no doubt in my mind of this."

Belegwen smiled at him, then drew the youngling even closer to her body, gazing at his face with the automatic, unfathomable love of a naneth. She had been so scared about this in the past, not knowing what to expect when becoming a naneth. However, now that the little ellon had arrived, Belegwen felt at peace knowing that a part of her husband would live on through the tiny being she was cuddling in her arms.

"Have you thought of a name for him?" Rumil asked quietly. "Will you use part of Haldir's name, as tradition dictates?"

"Oh yes, I have already named him in my head." She answered gently. "Your nephew's name is Halendil."

"Halendil?" Rumil repeated, a tear coming to his eye. Belegwen's eyes widened as she saw how emotional the name had made him. Rumil whispered his next words to her with absolute sincerity.

"It is perfect Belegwen. Perfect indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Halendil roughly translates out to mean "hidden devotion." Rumil says the name is perfect because it not only uses part of Haldir's name, as is custom for a first born ellon in my story, but also because the phrase "hidden devotion" honors the tale of the secret love Haldir harbored for Belegwen for more than 3,000 years.
> 
> **The memory that cues Belegwen's tears for Haldir is from Chapter 25: Stay.
> 
> Whew, we've pretty much made it through the battle! Are you relieved now? I know I am! Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of my story. I'd love to hear from you.
> 
> -P.G.


	50. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you goes out to Fatemeh68 and AnshinDark for their lovely comments! Thanks also to all my fans for the kudos! I hope you enjoy chapter 50!

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises. I also do not own rights to Shaina Noll's song "Like a Ship in the Harbor." Part of the song has been removed from the chapter to fit in with AO3's songfic policy._

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 50: Aftermath

An hour after giving birth, Belegwen found herself in quite the predicament. She was now holding a tiny elfling who was fussing softly, but she was uncertain of how to resolve the problem. She had been rocking him and speaking to him gently for nearly an hour now, but it did not seem to be helping. She had tried to feed him also, but could not seem to get the little one latched onto her breast.

She was starting to suspect the real culprit of Halendil's upheaval was the noise level of the caves, which had grown quite loud as of late. Indeed, several injured soldiers had been brought down the darkened stairwell at this point and some were lying rather close to her. They were all in varying states; some were sleeping soundly, as Linedhel had chanted to them until they fell into a healing rest. Others were moaning or even shouting in pain as they waited for the healer to tend them.

Their state was horrific. Belegwen had never seen such carnage in all her years. Many elves were brought down in such a poorly state that Linedhel was only able to make them comfortable while they waited for their inevitable demise. She had seen limbs being amputated from some, which was the result of being hit with a poisoned arrow or blade. Others had bones sticking out of their skin or weapons stuck painfully inside of them. Many were bruised and battered, a few completely beyond recognition. Belegwen feared she would never be able to forget the screams they emitted as Linedhel dutifully tended to them one by one.

Needless to say, this was no place for a newborn elfling. There was nowhere else to go though. Belegwen was uncertain if she could walk on her own after giving birth and was naked underneath the blanket Linedhel had covered her with. The undershirt and leggings she had worn underneath her armor were soaked with blood and in need of mending. She did not want to put them back on in that state; she could not bear the thought of orc and uruk-hai blood getting all over Halendil. No, that would never do.

On top of that, she was in desperate need of a bath. Belegwen now understood why Rumil had been so horrified by what he had seen as she gave birth. Belegwen had peeked under the blanket to see what state she was in and it was as terrible as he had indicated. A good amount of blood, fluid, and tissue had come out of her along with the little one and the entire mess was still down there, on the floor beneath the blanket.

She did not dare ask anyone for help right now though, as Linedhel and Esgalamon were both busy tending to those who were much worse off than her. Perhaps Rumil could help her find something else to wear when he returned. She knew the healing robes she had been wearing previously were probably still in the medical cart somewhere. Once Rumil came back, Belegwen decided she would have him fetch the tan and white robes for her.

Oh dearest Valar, she hoped he would come back!

Shortly after she had given birth, Rumil had insisted he must return to the battle, citing the numbers of elves and men had run low. Belegwen had seen first hand that it was true and knew the leaders would need every available being if they hoped to make some sort of last stand against the horde.

Rumil had proven to be just as bound to his duty as she and Haldir were and so Belegwen had understood when he jogged back up the stairwell towards the battle. Still, she was concerned something might happen to him, as she had seen the tiredness of his eyes and body while they had pushed through the masses to get back to the caves. Not knowing what else to do, she had prayed for him several times as she sat with her whimpering son in the darkness of the caves.

Belegwen had no idea what to do about the crying elfling. She was the youngest elf in her family and, because of the profession she had chosen, had never received an opportunity to hold a newly born elfling before. At least Linedhel had demonstrated that to her. She felt awkward with the little one in her arms though, as it was foreign to her.

Mentally, she started to panic a bit. What if she would not be a good naneth to Haldir's son? She knew next to nothing about elflings and was already feeling like a failure because she could not seem to comfort and soothe her little one.

Just as everything seemed particularly hopeless, a slew of foreign words startled Belegwen and caused her to look up from Halendil. It was two older women of Rohan, their faces creased with lines and their dark brown hair smattered with grey, which gave away their age. The pair seemed to be arguing as they stood beside her, although Belegwen could not be certain, as she did not speak Rohirric.

After the argument ceased, one of the women turned to her and knelt down beside her as the other stayed standing, looking away from Belegwen and fuming with crossed arms. The one who was kneeling beside her had kindness in her eyes as she glanced from the elfling to Belegwen. Upon looking at Belegwen, she smiled and it lit up her entire face. Belegwen found herself smiling back, albeit tentatively, as she listened to the woman speak to her in Rohirric.

"I do not speak Rohirric," Belegwen replied in Westron, hoping the woman might be able to communicate with her in that language. "Do you speak Westron?"

The woman seemed to understand her to an extent and held her thumb and pointer fingers close together as she replied in a thick accent, "A little."

Belegwen nodded and tried to think of how to proceed with the conversation. However, it became unnecessary as the woman started to try and converse with her in Westron. "New baby, yes?" She questioned, pointing to Halendil with a smile and a nod.

Immediately, Belegwen nodded back, her blue eyes meeting the woman's brown ones as she tried to figure out where the conversation was going. "You… baby, yes?" She asked, pointing to her legs and nodding. Belegwen was not certain what she meant by that until the woman grabbed up the far end of the blanket and looked underneath it, presumably seeing the disgusting mess her body had produced. "Yes," Belegwen heard her say to herself, seemingly answering her own question.

The woman then indicated to the other woman to come and look and they conversed in Rohirric once again as they both glanced under the blanket, much to Belegwen's discomfort. The one who had been angry before seemed a bit more sympathetic now and once they had finished their conversation, they put the blanket back down on her legs and both turned towards her.

She watched as the first woman pointed between herself and the other woman a couple of times before she said, "We… help you." Upon saying the word 'you,' the woman pointed to Belegwen, her finger roughly poking into her shoulder for emphasis.

Belegwen was shocked by this offer and did not say anything in return, though this did not stop the women from their plight. The one who had done all of the talking set about wrapping Belegwen's blanket tightly around her body, then tucked the excess edge in between her breasts. The woman stood up a few moments later and indicated with a hand gesture that Belegwen should also stand.

Upon standing up shakily, Belegwen noticed the second woman had collected her bloodied attire and was holding it in her arms. Both women stood in front of her and moved their hands as if to say 'come.' Belegwen hesitantly followed them, clutching Halendil tightly in her arms, as they led her into the area of the cave that was laden with women and children. Belegwen received many curious stares as she passed through their masses.

The three females weaved through the crowd until they had went all the way to the unlit back walls of the cave. The woman who had spoken to her patted on a large boulder, indicating for Belegwen to sit down upon it. Before she knew what was happening, two more women were beside her, one carrying a couple of rags, a bar of soap, and a bucket of steaming water. The other, who appeared to be the eldest amongst them with a braid that was completely white, knelt by her side and took her hand in her own. "Hello. I have been told you speak Westron. Is this true?" She asked, smiling gently at her.

"Yes, I speak Westron." Belegwen replied, relieved to finally be able to communicate with one of them. "I was told you would be helping me?" She questioned curiously.

"Oh yes, it has long been the tradition of elder women in our village to assist new mothers. My dear friend here noticed you had given birth and thought you might need help because there do not seem to be any other women in your company." She said, pointing to the first woman who had spoken to her, who smiled brightly once again.

"Thank you. You were right—I do not know how to get my son to stop crying." She said as she flushed with embarrassment. What must these humans think of the elves if she could not even complete so simple a task on her own?

"Do not be embarrassed my dear. Having a child is not easy and does not come naturally to everyone. You are able though; you will learn, just as all mothers do." She reassured her and then asked, "May I see your baby?"

Belegwen awkwardly maneuvered the elfling so the woman could get a good look at him. Immediately, her hand went to touch the pointed tip of his ear, as if perplexed by it. "He is very small," she mused, "Since he has come early, he will need to be fed often. Let us try to feed the babe and see if it soothes him."

Without asking permission, she undid the knot at the top of the blanket and it immediately fell down to Belegwen's waist, baring her breasts to all the women. Belegwen was embarrassed at being exposed in front of complete strangers, but the women did not seem phased by it in the least. She supposed they had helped so many women in the past that it was hardly even a thing they thought about. Thus, she breathed deeply and tried to get past her discomfort.

Belegwen held Halendil up to her breast once more, but the elfling was not taking hold of it. "Not like that. Do this." The woman corrected, then mimicked how Belegwen should get the child to take hold. Belegwen did as she was told and was rewarded with her son finally gripping onto her as intended. Belegwen looked up at the woman with amazement, then back to her precious son, who was finally eating as he should.

"Thank you." She said as she breathed a sigh of relief, already very grateful for the help the women were providing. "You have blessed me greatly this night. What is your name, kind woman?"

"I am Binia, midwife to the women of Rohan. My fellow women are Hemma, Edlyn, and Merla." She replied, lastly indicating the woman who had first come to get her. Belegwen nodded and then bowed low and touched her forehead to show the woman who had noticed her need the utmost respect. She smiled back at her and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder as she watched the elfling eat.

"And what is your name, she-elf?" Binia asked.

"I am Belegwen," she replied, "Second in Command of the Lothlorien wardens."

"You are a general of the ranks? A she-elf?!" Binia asked, clearly shocked. Belegwen listened as Binia told the other women in Rohirric and they talked excitedly amongst themselves for several minutes. Belegwen had a feeling she was the center of the conversation, as they would look down at her periodically. Merla was even so bold as to indicate the muscular form of her arms, perhaps showing it was proof of her claimed status. Hemma pointed out her stomach wounds and the disaster that was her face. Belegwen was very aware that she looked awful from being punched and scratched by orcs and uruk-hai.

Finally, Binia turned her attention back to Belegwen, her eyes still filled with surprise. "Pardon our reaction, but we have never heard of such a thing amongst the elves before. Even amongst men, women are not allowed to hold such positions. How have you accomplished this?"

Belegwen had never been asked this before. She sat thinking about how to answer it, then simply settled on, "Determination, grit, and stubbornness. Much, much stubbornness."

Binia chuckled a bit, then reached once again for the bucket Edlyn had brought over to her. "Indeed? Very well then, General Belegwen, shall we get you cleaned up? Edlyn has offered to tend to your clothes while Merla helps me wash you up."

Belegwen nodded and allowed them to pull the blanket off of her completely. Hemma held the blanket up to block onlookers from seeing her as Merla and Binia set about cleaning the blood and fluids off of her legs with the wet rags, periodically stopping to rub the bar of soap against their rags before continuing. The two were gentle, but thorough in their cleaning of her. They worked their way up her body until they could go no further without disturbing Halendil.

By this time, the little ellon had finished his meal and was quietly sleeping in her arms. It was then that Merla set her rag into the bucket and held out her arms as if to receive the elfling. "Please?" She asked, clearly desiring to hold Halendil while Binia finished cleaning her. Belegwen found that she could not tell the smiley woman no and gently held her son out to her.

She watched as Merla cradled Halendil with the utmost care, smiling down at his sleeping visage. "Beautiful." She whispered, looking at Belegwen. "So beautiful."

Belegwen smiled in spite of the wave of sadness that passed over her. The elfling was beautiful because he looked like Haldir. Quickly, she took a deep breath and somehow managed to contain her tears this time around. However, her sadness must have been evident because Binia's hand was suddenly resting on her shoulder. When Belegwen met her eyes, she knew the eldest woman knew. She said nothing, but there was solidarity between them, as they both knew how terrible the losses were on this fateful night.

Binia quickly finished washing her body and then moved onto her hair, first washing it and then brushing it. She finished by putting it into one long silver braid down her back.

Belegwen had never worn her hair fully pulled back in this way, as the elves greatly appreciated long, flowing hair that was often adorned with a few ornamental braids. However, she did not want to offend the women who were helping her so much, so she said nothing and allowed it to be done. It felt strange to Belegwen, but she could not deny that it was convenient, as it kept all of her hair out of her face with ease. Belegwen also knew for certain that what Binia had done surely looked better than anything she would have tried on her own.

After waiting a few minutes, Edlyn brought her clothing back to her. The pieces were were still damp, but no longer smelled like blood. Instead, they smelled like the soap she had been bathed in moments ago. Belegwen put on her black breeches and matching undershirt quickly, taking note that the holes from Erthalion's sword had been sewn up neatly. She bowed in thanks to Edlyn, who smiled appreciatively back at her.

She turned to Merla to retrieve Halendil from her, only to find that Binia was now holding him and beginning to sing to the little one, who appeared to be stirring from his slumber. Belegwen watched as his eyes blinked a bit and then froze once again in reverie upon hearing the older woman's voice.

_"Like a ship in the harbor,_

_Like a mother and child,_

_Like a light in the darkness,_

_I'll hold you awhile..._ _"_

Belegwen smiled at the older woman as she finished singing and handed Belegwen's sleeping son back to her gently, trying not to wake the darling elfling. Belegwen once again whispered her thanks to the older woman as she took Halendil back into her arms.

"I have a few gifts for you before we send you back to the other elves, my dear. First, I have some cloth diapers for you to use on your little one. Second, a long cloth for you to use as a baby wrap. It will hold your little one securely to your body so you can do things while holding him." Binia said, then helped her unwrap Halendil from his blanket and showed her how to tie the diaper onto him.

Next, Binia showed her how to tie the wrap, demonstrating first on herself, then helping Belegwen to put the wrap on while holding the elfling. Soon Halendil's tiny form was tied comfortably and securely to her body and Belegwen merely had to hold his head and neck with one hand while carrying him around on her front.

Once Belegwen had Halendil strapped to her body, she felt much relief. The women had indeed provided her with all the help she had needed and she was very much in their debt. Bowing low, Belegwen touched her forehead as she acknowledged all they had done for her, an outsider and a stranger, during a time of war. "Thank you for everything, good women of Rohan. I will never forget the act of kindness you have bestowed upon me tonight."

"We bid you a fond farewell, General Belegwen of Lothlorien. May the sun always shine upon you and the grass always be green underneath your feet." Binia said as Belegwen stood back up. Though she hardly knew her, Binia gave her a gentle hug, being careful not to bump the sleeping elfling Belegwen was wearing. Belegwen tensed up momentarily, as elves often did not hug one another unless they were family or lovers, but did eventually hug her back, as it seemed to be the only courteous way to respond.

When she stepped back from the hug, Merla smiled at her once more and bid her farewell saying, "Peace." She hugged Belegwen also and this time, she was prepared to hug the smiley woman back right away. The other two women simply waved, smiling compassionately as Belegwen looked upon them all one last time and committed their kind act to her memory. Slowly, she then turned around and walked back to the side of the caves where the elves were to search for Rumil.

ooOoo

"Belegwen?" Rumil questioned out loud as he searched for his sister amongst the elves lying on the floor in the cave. He had already trekked back to where he had left her earlier in the night and had only found her bloodied armor abandoned on the floor. He looked through the mass of elves lying on the floor, but saw no sign of Belegwen. Rumil started to panic as he wandered around in search of her.

Had something happened to her while he was gone? And what of Halendil? Was his premature nephew still well? What if something had happened to the youngling while he was gone?

"Belegwen!" He called out into the cave. His voice echoed back at him as he turned around frantically to search behind him, in case he had somehow passed her up by accident. "Belegwen!"

Rumil stopped to ask a few wandering elves if they had seen her, but none of them had. He took yet another stroll through the bodies lying on the ground, but saw no sign of her. He even looked upstairs once again, trying to see if she had dared to enter the great hall for something. He fretted as he returned to the caves because there was no sign of her up there either.

A large wooden cart carrying the dead bodies of several elves and men was being wheeled around the edge of the makeshift healing center Linedhel had set up in the caves. Fearing the worst, Rumil started to walk over to it with a haunted look in his blue eyes.

Surely… surely they were not over there, were they?

"Rumil?" A feminine voice asked from behind him. He whipped around and felt a huge breath of relief pass through him as he saw his sister standing in front of him.

"Oh, thank the Valar! I could not find you and I was starting to fear the worst!" He cried out and almost hugged her, but at the last minute decided against it when he saw that his nephew was oddly tied against Belegwen's body with a large cloth. He was covered in blood, amongst other things, and did not want to rub the mess onto the youngling. "Is Halendil still well?"

"Yes, he has eaten and cried now. Linedhel will be happy to hear it when he has a moment, I am certain." She said, glancing down at the head of the little one, which rested gently between her chest and hand.

Rumil now looked over Belegwen very closely and was put off by the scent coming off of her. "You both smell and look like a woman." He pointed out as he noticed the single braid that was cascading down her back. "Belegwen, what has happened to you tonight and why are you carrying your son in a sling?"

"Some elderly women amongst the Rohirrim have helped me clean up and tend to Halendil. I owe them much Rumil." She answered Rumil gently, clearly annoyed with his assessment of her. "As for the sling, it is called a baby wrap and it will help me walk around with Halendil without having to use both of my hands. It was a gift, one which has already proven helpful."

Rumil frowned, still feeling uncomfortable that Belegwen both looked and smelled so much like the second born. "Can I at least redo your hair? You do not look like an elf right now and it is offputting." He started to reach for her braid, but was immediately stopped by Belegwen's free hand.

"No," Belegwen said firmly. "It would be offensive to them if they saw. I will not be one to refuse help in times like these. I will leave it in until we have left the fortress. Once we are on the road, you may do as you like."

He frowned deeply at Belegwen, unhappy with his sister's answer, but resigned to it. Belegwen seemed to sense his displeasure and tried to smooth things over with him immediately.

"Rumil, let us not be angry with one another. Are you well? What happened in the battle after I left?"

"I am not horribly injured, if that is what you are asking." He said calmly, though inside he felt many deep, dark emotions that he was unaccustomed to, all of them stemming from the battle. The things he had seen on this night were horrible and he was far from being well, especially having lost the only brother he had left. However, he was able to garner a bit of happiness from the situation as he shared with Belegwen news from the battlefield.

"You will never believe it Belegwen—Gilhoth was somehow able to lead a final charge against the enemy! He got together as many able-bodied elves as were available and, following hand signals from the king, they were both able to lead the final attack! Our numbers were low, but the soldiers fought fiercely and a large army of Rohirrim showed up ere long to vanquish the remaining orcs! The victory is ours!" He exclaimed, excited to announce the one positive amid a great pool of negatives.

"We have won?" Belegwen questioned, appearing shocked at this new information. Indeed, it had not seemed possible to Rumil either, but good had won over evil on this day. "We have won…" He heard her whisper to herself as she looked at the ground, quickly becoming lost in her own thoughts.

_"_ _At what cost though?"_ Rumil thought to himself as he looked around the makeshift healing center in horror. So many elves and men had suffered greatly because of this battle and even more were lost. Rumil frowned as he realized precisely who would be responsible for letting the families of dead soldiers know about their fate.

It was a heavy burden that awaited Belegwen upon their return home. Rumil shuddered at the thought.

"I must lead us home." He vaguely heard Belegwen say as he became lost in his own depressing thoughts. When she addressed him though, his attention immediately snapped onto her. "Rumil, do you know where Gilhoth is? I will need to go and debrief with him."

"I last saw him upstairs in the great hall," Rumil replied distractedly as his eyes caught sight of Heledhril's still form lying on the floor. The elf did not appear to be injured, but was as pale as a spirit and laid so still that it looked as if he was dead.

Rumil could not help but wonder what power was it that he had wielded during the battle. Whatever it had been, he had definitely saved them repeatedly with it and Rumil was very grateful for what he had done.

Had Heledhril somehow paid the ultimate price for protecting them?

His thoughts were interrupted though when he caught sight of Belegwen's hand just before it touched his forehead. Rumil watched as she concentrated and then he felt the familiar warmth of spirit healing washing across the gash in his head. When she was done, the pain was completely gone and Rumil could barely feel where the injury had been.

"Are you injured anywhere else Rumil?" Belegwen asked quietly, looking him over from head to toe in an assessment of her own.

"Just bruises gwathel. Thank you though; that was appreciated." He said as her hand fell away from his forehead and back down to her side.

"I am going to go and find Gilhoth now," Belegwen said, leaving him alone with his overwhelmingly dark thoughts once again. Turning away from his sister, he looked around at the state of the elves around him once more.

_How great the price was indeed._

ooOoo

"Gilhoth!" Belegwen exclaimed as she caught sight of the white blonde elf amid the injured men who were mulling around the great hall. He heard her voice immediately and looked around until he found her. The newest marchwarden made his way through the masses and came to a halt a few paces away from her.

Gilhoth was not an elf that Belegwen had known particularly well over the years. She took a moment to look him over. He was of an average height and build, only a little taller than she. He had a very strong stance, which was emphasized by the armor he wore. His face gave away few of his thoughts currently, though perhaps it was because of the war. Belegwen had noticed earlier that several of the most animated elves had appeared withdrawn this morning and Gilhoth was no exception.

His entire form was covered from head to toe in splattered orc blood. The blue liquid was all over his armor, white-blonde hair, and strong face. His grey eyes met hers and held them for a moment, then glanced down to the elfling in her arms. His eyebrows raised in astonishment as he met her eyes once again.

Belegwen did not give him a chance to bring up the taboo topic of her son though. Instead, she said, "Come, there is much to discuss." With that said, she turned around and walked into a quiet corner of the hall, fully expecting him to follow her.

When she turned around again, she got right to the point. "Did I offend you earlier by taking command Gilhoth?"

"What? No, of course not. You were correct—I did not know what to do in the moment. You helped me get my head back on straight though, which was appreciated." He replied promptly, his eyes straying to her elfling once again. "Are you well though? And the elfling as well? I did not realize you were in such a state until Rumil said something about it when we reached the great hall."

"Yes, we are both going to be fine Gilhoth. Now, let us focus-"

"Is it Haldir's son?" He asked bluntly, meeting her eyes with a look of worry.

Belegwen felt her lip quiver and hastily started to study the grey cobblestones beneath her feet as she caught herself before she burst into tears. Swallowing her pain as best she could, she replied with a twisted, unnatural sounding voice, "Yes."

In this moment, she realized precisely how hard everything would be now. There was no way to hide the relationship she had with Haldir at this point. The predicament they were in had not seemed so bad when Haldir had been with her to back up her side of the story, just as he had when they had spoken with Prince Legolas. What assumptions would be drawn about her and Haldir now that he was gone and had left her with no ring or proclamation of his commitment?

Could she stand the knowing glances and accusatory eyes that she was bound to face?

Belegwen and Haldir had not only broken the warden's code, but also created an elfling without saying their vows before Eru Iluvatar. It would be very easy for the traditional elves of Lothlorien to now look down on her for not adhering to one of their most important customs.

It would be very easy for them to assume she had not been his wife.

As she started to panic internally, she felt Gilhoth's hand come to rest on her shoulder. She looked up at him and was surprised to find a most sympathetic look on his previously hardened face. He stood there watching her for a moment, before saying, "You have lost much on this night Marchwarden. You have my condolences."

Unwilling to let Gilhoth see her cry, Belegwen turned away from him and pulled herself together as quickly as she could manage. Immediately, she rebuked him. "Gilhoth, this is not how marchwardens operate. We need to be strong enough to put our personal emotions behind us and put on a brave face for the other soldiers. We must be able to focus on the task at hand without becoming distracted by grief or other feelings." She said, hardening her heart as the callous words exited her mouth. This was what Haldir had taught her and, in this moment of unbearable pain, it was advice she heeded for her own self-preservation.

To hide her feelings would be the only way she could continue on right now.

She turned back to him to see that he was looking particularly frustrated with her; his hands were crossed over his chest insolently as he raised his nose to her with no little amount of disdain. "I am sorry Belegwen, but I will have to respectfully disagree with you. My emotions show other soldiers that I care for them; no, they are not a sign of weakness, but one of great strength!" He proclaimed authoritatively.

"All the elves here have lost beloved friends and family members on this night. To empathize with them as a group will bring us closer to one another, which is what we need in times like these. Do you not see it?" He asked with one eyebrow cocked up to question her.

Belegwen could indeed see the merit in Gilhoth's argument and Belegwen's respect for Gilhoth grew because of it. There was nothing wrong with caring for others; such feelings were born out of love and were among the purest emotions elves could feel for one another. Such love and care had been bestowed upon Belegwen earlier in the night when the women of Rohan had helped her and she was extremely grateful for it.

How odd that this elf, who was perhaps the only one crazy enough to accept the mantle of marchwarden in her stead, now seemed more and more like the correct choice. The Valar worked in mysterious ways and, though Belegwen knew Haldir had been frustrated about giving this honor to Gilhoth, Belegwen now saw the elf's best qualities and suddenly felt he was the best choice.

Gilhoth was willing to stand up for what he thought was right, even if others disagreed with him, including herself. Gilhoth cared enough about her as another elf to inquire about her well-being and to worry about her when he found out Haldir had passed away and left her with an elfling. Moreover, Gilhoth had willingly given his control over to Belegwen during the battle without a fuss, knowing that she was the best choice as a leader.

The power of being a marchwarden had not gotten to his head. No, Gilhoth was humble, gentle, and strong all at the same time…

Haldir had chosen well.

Despite Gilhoth's compelling argument, Belegwen still was uncertain if showing her emotions to the other wardens would be a good move for her personally. She had long been convinced that showing her feelings as a warden would result in ellyn refusing to take her seriously. Having the soldiers trust her now was more important than it ever had been before though, especially with what she planned to do.

She did not think she could risk such a thing as being emotional in front of them. It had the potential to ruin everything. Thus, Belegwen answered Gilhoth's question in a very uncommitted way. "There is… perhaps… some merit to that view, though it goes against what Haldir has taught me."

"Have it your way then Belegwen." Gilhoth said, shaking his head in a way that told her that he thought she was making a mistake. "I know for a fact that even Haldir did not always feel that way. Though Haldir was shy when he was young, I could see he was much more open with his closest friends and none of them thought any less of him for it." Gilhoth reminisced with a small chuckle. "His friends did tease him a bit because of it, as he wore his heart on his sleeve around ellyth. Indeed, he was always staring at-"

Gilhoth stopped speaking abruptly. His eyes met hers and widened considerably. In that moment, they were both thinking the exact same thing.

Oh dear Vala, Gilhoth had figured out Haldir's darkest secret!

Belegwen blushed and looked down. If Gilhoth was able to figure out that Haldir had unrequited love for her over the last 3,000 years, surely others would be able to deduce it as well. The way rumors spread like wildfire amongst the soldiers, it was obvious that if one elf found out, everyone was going to know.

_Everyone was going to know!_

Belegwen swallowed her fear back down as she awkwardly stared at Gilhoth in disbelief. Neither of them knew what to say now. Quickly, Belegwen decided to change the topic after clearing her throat. "Now then, I have heard from Rumil about your bravery tonight—how you led the remaining elves in a last stand against evil and prevailed with the help of the Rohirrim. I am gladdened to hear it and impressed by how you took my spot so readily after I became injured."

"I had a great teacher, one who came to the battle with a tactical plan that I was sorely lacking," he said, smiling sadly. "If only I had learned sooner, perhaps more of us would still be alive to tell the tale."

"You did all you could with what little information you had," Belegwen argued, not wanting this kind elf to blame himself for something that was very much out of his control. "That is all anyone could ask of you."

She watched as Gilhoth's visage contorted into a pain-filled look momentarily before he sighed and then looked very tired. "I am here to ask for your support Gilhoth. We both know the council has voted for me to step down, yet I know if we work together to get the soldiers home, all the ranks will benefit from it. Can I count on you to back me up as a marchwarden?" She asked warily, wishing things were different.

"Of course Belegwen," Gilhoth answered most assuredly. "It is your duty to lead as marchwarden and I welcome your guidance as a teacher and trainer. I can already tell that I will learn much from you."

"Very good. I will be asking for the ranks to support me when I address them. I would like for you to gather all the elves who are in good enough shape to listen at sunset and I will speak with the entire group about the journey home." She said, inwardly cringing as she had no idea what she would say to the masses to try and win them over to her side.

Belegwen closed her eyes as she thought about her next request for Gilhoth. It was difficult, but she needed him to take charge one other thing. "Gilhoth… there is another task I need you to complete as well." She said shakily, pausing for a moment to get a hold of herself before continuing. "We are too far from home to bring our dead back with us. I need you to take some capable soldiers and bury our dead here." She said, trailing off as the reality of this necessity set in.

She would have to leave Haldir here.

Haldir did not get to come home, but would simply have an unmarked grave in a foreign land. It broke her heart, as it was unbefitting to him, both as a high-ranking officer and as the ellon she loved.

There was no other choice though. It had taken them over two months to travel to Helm's Deep and there was no good way to preserve the bodies for the trip back. The elves who died here would have to stay here forever.

Belegwen watched as Gilhoth also seemed to get emotional at the thought. No elf was going to like this idea, but something had to be done. They could not just leave their loved ones lying around. No, they deserved the dignity of a proper burial and could easily receive that small mercy here. It was the least they could do to honor the pricey sacrifice their loved ones had made on their behalf.

_"_ _But Haldir!"_ Her heart cried out, abhorring the thought of leaving him in this land of men. _"Not Haldir!"_ It seemed to shout, though no one could hear its plea.

"I plan to go and help Linedhel tend the wounded," she murmured quietly as they both vacillated over the decision. Neither one of them could bear to look the other in the eye at this point. "…for he has taught me some of his craft and there are many who still need help."

"I will do this for you marchwarden." Gilhoth answered with the slightest of nods. "We will honor the dead with a respectful burial and pay homage to their noble lives as best we can."

"Thank you Gilhoth." She said softly, looking down at Halendil's sleeping form to try and distract her from the pain of Haldir's untimely fate. They stood in silence for several moments, but then Belegwen's breath caught in her mouth as Gilhoth asked her the unspoken question that still lingered between them.

"Would you like for me to come and get you when… when we go to bury _him_?" He asked softly with a sympathetic tone of voice.

Belegwen thought about it for a long while, then quickly shook her head no and walked back down the stairs towards the caves. She had already said goodbye to Haldir in her mind's eye and she knew she could not endure it a second time.

ooOoo

Hour after hour passed as Belegwen walked the dank, dimly lit caves and tended to one elf at a time. She stitched up many deep cuts in the low light and staunched an unending number of bleeding wounds to the best of her ability. Occasionally, she used spirit healing on those whom needed it the most, but tried to conserve as much energy as she could for her task at sunset.

From time to time, she would glance over at the glistening wall of the cave, which was where Rumil had been sitting and holding Halendil all day long. During her few moments of reprieve, Belegwen had watched as he rocked the little one, sometimes whispering things in his ears when he started to fuss.

At one point, she had also heard his fine tenor voice singing to him the song about Nimrodel. Belegwen had not known that Rumil could sing, but was pleased to hear his lovely clear voice ring out softly in the cave, echoing against the walls and soothing not only the elfling, but several of the nearby injured and suffering elves as well.

When she returned to nurse Halendil, she had asked Rumil what he was whispering to the little ellon. "I am telling him about Haldir," he admitted quietly, a tear falling from his fair eye. "It is important for him to know stories about his adar." Belegwen had nodded in agreement and the two had immediately ceased conversing about the topic, both trying not to do things that would cause the other to fall into a state of despair again.

Once she returned to her post of helping the wounded, Belegwen could not help but mull over Gilhoth's words…

_My emotions show other soldiers that I care for them; no, they are not a sign of weakness, but one of great strength!"_

Had Haldir been wrong in his actions? Was Gilhoth truly right in saying there was power in showing the ranks that she felt the same as them? That her heart bled just as theirs did for the lost immortal lives, which had been taken so painfully from them last night? How would they react if she cried over her loss as she spoke with them about the journey home?

Belegwen rarely found herself in conundrums as complicated as this and did not know what to do. She knew what Haldir would do, but wondered if it was truly the right thing. Perhaps appealing to their mutual likeness would be the best bet to win them over to her once more…

By the time sundown rolled around, a decision had been made in her mind. After washing up as best she could, Belegwen walked over to Rumil, took hold of her son, and wrapped him against her chest with the long cloth until he felt secure against her body.

"You are planning to tell them all, are you not?" Rumil asked as he curiously watched her tie the wrap, which was not a thing the elves typically used with their little ones.

"Yes. They will find out anyway; at least, those who do not already know about it. There will be no way to hide a crying elfling on our two month journey home." She replied, already resigned to the task ahead of her.

"Would you like for me to stand with you?" Rumil asked gently. "I would show my support of you and claim you as my sister in front of them all. Perhaps it would help." He suggested.

Indeed, Belegwen knew she was about to face a great challenge. Many of the elves had already seen the elfling and there would be quite the slew of rumors by the time Belegwen arrived on stage. Her imagination feared the worst—that the elves would think she had manipulated Haldir for her position as Marchwarden or worse, that she had been a mere dalliance in the unmarried warrior's life.

Belegwen shivered. She did not want other elves to sully her memories of Haldir's love. She would have to be firm today and stand upon what she knew in her heart was true.

"You may come and stand beside me." Belgewen replied slowly. "It will also give me someone to pass Halendil off to, should he wake up and start to cry.

Together, the two walked silently up to the keep where Gilhoth had gathered the soldiers who were able. There was much whispering amongst them as Belegwen proceeded to the front of the crowd, finding a short brick pedestal at the front that had been intended to boost her above the crowd.

Gilhoth waited for her by the pedestal and bowed to her with his hand over his heart as she ascended the pedestal. He touched her arm before she could step up the final stair and whispered, "We have not finished the burials yet, but I have left a few elves working on it. The task will be completed by nightfall."

Belegwen nodded in response, then continued to the podium with Rumil following behind her dutifully. When she faced the small crowd of elves, her heart fell. So many were injured, bruised and bandaged, with even more missing. Though they had found victory, their faces spoke of hopelessness and defeat in wake of their massive losses. Her heart fell for the families in Caras Galadhon who were waiting for their loved ones to return. Many of them never would.

Then, to Belegwen's utter surprise, she watched as the soldiers unexpectedly bowed before her, just as Gilhoth had, with their hands on their hearts as a show of respect. Belegwen's eyes widened and not knowing what to do, simply stood there for a few moments, absolutely speechless at the demonstration before her. Haldir's words to her once again filled her mind as she remembered what he had told her after the attack on Lothlorien…

_"_ _They recognize that you sacrificed yourself for their welfare and the good of Lothlorien. You have earned their respect."_

Belegwen felt tears gathering in her eyes as she realized that he was right. They still respected her, both for what she had done in Lothlorien and for what she had done here. Perhaps she had fretted for nothing. Perhaps they would accept her yet.

She met several of their eyes directly as she dug down deep within herself for the right words on this tragic occasion. "Let us first have a moment of silence for the fallen." She said calmly, then lowered herself to one knee in a show of respect for the fallen. The elves of the crowd followed her dutifully and all was silent other than the wind that blew mildly at the top of the keep.

After several moments of silence, a voice rang out amongst the elves. It was pure and seamless, the voice of a well-seasoned vocalist. Belegwen lifted her head to see Palantil, one of Lothlorien's most gifted singers, presenting a song of the elves in honor of the fallen. It was one that many knew, The Fall of Gil-Galad.

_"_ _Gil-galad was an Elven-king._

_Of him the harpers sadly sing;_

_The last whose realm was fair and free,_

_Between the mountains and the sea._

_His sword was long, his lance was keen._

_His shining helm afar was seen;_

_The countless stars of heaven's field,_

_Were mirrored in his silver shield._

_But long ago he rode away,_

_And where he dwelleth none can say;_

_For into darkness fell his star,_

_In Mordor where the shadows are."_

Palantil started to sing it a second time and when he did, Belegwen got to her feet and started to sing along with him as best she could. The lovely tenor voices of the other elves joined in too, some adding in homophonic harmonies, while others simply mimicked the melody they all knew well. The choir of fair voices melded into one hauntingly perfect sound that went on and on, blazing through the bright pinks and oranges of the setting sun. The elves poured their weeping souls into the words as they sang out their sorrows to all of Arda. Even when the song was done, the feeling that remained carried on within their hearts as a meaningful silence set upon them.

"It is with great sadness that I stand before you today, as it marks the passing of our longtime marchwarden, Haldir." Belegwen projected strongly, doing her best to control her emotions as she said his name aloud. "Haldir was known for greatness in life and his passing is felt deeply by us all… perhaps most deeply by me." She continued, grasping for every last bit of strength left within her as she mentally prepared herself to reveal the truth.

"I stand here now to ask your forgiveness, as I have wronged you all with my actions. I hope that as I explain myself, you will find I had only hoped to protect you by doing what I did and that nothing I have done was out of ill-will towards anyone here."

Belegwen took a minute to swallow her pride and then continued. "What the council has determined about Haldir and I is true. We did break the warden's code together, but it was I who lied before the council to protect him. I chose to take the blame for the moment we shared in the forest, as I feared there would be no one to lead you at the battle if we were both removed from our positions. Thus, I took responsibility for what happened between us."

"In life, our feelings for one another were mutual though. I was in love with Haldir and… I still am." She said, pausing as she felt her pain welling up within her. Belegwen closed her eyes and continued.

"I have no ring or vow from him to prove this, but there is one thing that remains…" She said, gently pulling Halendil from the cloth and holding him in her arms so all could see him. There were many gasps as some of the elves who had not yet noticed the elfling's presence became aware of him. "This is Halendil Haldirion, who was born to me just last night. He is the evidence of Haldir's love for me and a lasting memory of our late marchwarden."

She paused as whispers broke out amongst the small crowd of elves. Belegwen held unyieldingly to her confidence that Halendil would be enough evidence for the elves to believe her story. An elfling, after all, had to be agreed on by two willing elves who were in love to be created. Surely Halendil's very existence would be enough to confirm her story to the soldiers before her; she was counting on it. Belegwen gave them a few more seconds to murmur amongst themselves as she passed her son off to Rumil, who was standing dutifully behind her.

"Thank you gwathel." He acknowledged loud enough for the others to hear, which started another round of whispers. Rumil was right; his acknowledgement of her as his sister had indeed meant something to the elves. Belegwen smiled sadly at him before she turned back to the soldiers and continued. They quickly quieted down to hear her words.

"I know there are those who would claim Haldir's love for me is the reason I am marchwarden today. I would hope that my actions towards you have proven otherwise though. I have done all I can to prove my worth to you. As for Haldir and I, neither of us set out to fall in love with one another. Love is fickle and unexpected at times, and it slowly crept up on us as he trained me for this very post. I am certain many of you have experienced something similar with your own wives." At this point, Belegwen dared to look into the crowd and saw a few heads nodding in agreement.

Some of them knew. Some of them understood.

Belegwen braced herself, feeling more confident now that she knew she had gotten through to at least some of them. "While I hope you can forgive me for the lie that I told, I will not be asking for any forgiveness concerning my marriage to Haldir. Though the warden's code forbid it, I do not find anything offensive about falling in love with Haldir and I will never regret being with him. Never." She declared firmly, not leaving any room in her voice for a debate on the matter.

"Now, I know the council has taken my title, but I would ask your permission today to take it back until we return to Lothlorien. Our numbers are few and we will need all the help we can get to make it home safely with our injured ellyn. If you will allow me to, I will lead you home safely with Gilhoth's help."

She looked out at the wardens to try and gauge their reactions. Many were nodding and placing their fists firmly on their hearts to show they agreed. Suddenly, a dark blonde elf pushed his way to the front of the crowd and stepped onto the podium authoritatively.

It was Eregdol.

Belegwen stared at him, uncertain of what to expect from this elf who was vehemently against her during the council meeting. He did not say anything to her though, but instead addressed the crowd before them.

"Only one vote was needed to change the council's mind on this matter and I have decided to change my vote." He said, glancing quickly over to Belegwen. "I vote in favor of Belegwen leading us home. The majority is in Belegwen's favor now, which means she may resume her position as marchwarden." He announced, then quickly stepped back off the podium, not bothering to say anything to Belegwen before he left. Though she was befuddled by this behavior from Eregdol of all elves, Belegwen somehow managed to continue speaking.

"It is settled then. Tomorrow at sunrise, we will prepare to take our journey home. Tonight, we must rest and recuperate while we are in the safety of these massive walls. In the morning, all able-bodied soldiers will be responsible for getting our sick and injured onto the extra carts to be taken home with us. Our dead have been buried here; may their souls find peace in Mandos' embrace." She said, nearly losing control of herself as she thought again of Haldir and how he would remain resting here in this foreign land.

Gilhoth must have noticed Belegwen was hurting, as he climbed up on the podium and stood beside her at once. "I think something is owed to our new Marchwarden." He started, sounding very confident with his words. Startled, Belegwen looked over at him, confused about what her counterpart was asking of the soldiers.

"The greatest tragedy that has befallen us tonight is that of young Halendil, who no longer has an adar. It is the way of the Galadhrim to take care of one another though, and so I ask you, fine ellyn of Lothlorien: Who here will pledge to help take care of this youngling in Haldir's stead? Who will act as an adar to this elfling, now that his own flesh and blood has made the ultimate sacrifice on your account?"

Belegwen's eyes went wide as she scanned the crowd to see the reaction to Gilhoth's query. Beside her, she immediately felt Rumil brush against her as he stepped next to her on the podium and said, "I will." Looking to her other side, she saw Gilhoth was also looking at her, patting his heart with his fist in agreement.

What was even more astounding though was the crowd of elves before her. There were those she had known all her life mixed with some she barely knew, all beating their hands over their hearts in firm agreement. Even some of the Imladris elves pounded their hearts in agreement, so touched they were by her predicament. Belegwen let her unbelieving eyes glance over them, one by one, studying the dedicated looks on their faces. There was Valtaur… Linros… even Eregdol, whom Belegwen had previously assumed hated her, looked committed to Halendil's cause.

A tear fell down Belegwen's cheek before she even knew she was crying. Quickly, she wiped it away and tried to speak, but found she could not. During this moment, Gilhoth leaned in to her ear and whispered, "You have done well tonight, Belegwen. I hope this will solidify your confidence in us. We all want you as marchwarden and we will not leave you to the task of parenthood on your own."

"Thank you Gilhoth." Belegwen whispered back, wiping another tear from her face before addressing the crowd. "I am touched by your love and consideration for myself and Halendil. Thank you all for your pledge. Please, go and take your rest now so that you might be refreshed before sunrise."

Belegwen watched as the elves dispersed, some going back into the keep while others lingered to speak amongst themselves. A small crowd of soldiers had appeared around Rumil to see the elfling, which he showed them proudly. Belegwen was about to join him when she heard a voice urgently shouting her name.

The rushing sound of clumsy feet clattered towards her as she turned to find Linedhel, pushing through the elves around him rather gracelessly with an unreadable expression on his face. When he reached her, Belegwen immediately inquired, "What has happened? What do you need?"

"Belegwen," he breathed, seemingly out of breath from running, "You must come at once. Come with me." He said, then grabbed her arm and started to pull her from the stone podium.

She resisted for a moment, but could not remove herself from his grasp as he pulled her down the two steps and started to pull her back towards the entrance to the caves. "I do not understand Linedhel! What is going on?!" She asked worriedly as he started to descend the darkened stairs with her in tow.

"Just come! Quickly!" He shouted frantically, clearly frustrated by her resistance. Belegwen's heart started to beat more quickly and her feet matched her heartbeat's pace as she stopped resisting and allowed Linedhel to lead her. Linedhel was always even tempered and so Belegwen knew something was wrong and feared what she was about to see.

She followed him behind the healing cart to find a sheet tied between the cart and the cave wall, blocking the silhouette of an elf that was lying motionless on the ground. Belegwen froze as she caught sight of the elf's feet as Linedhel pushed the sheet away from the cart and stepped behind it.

It wasn't.

It could not be.

Belegwen shakily pulled back the curtain to see who was there, then immediately cringed in pain. Haldir's pale form was lying on the ground, unmoving.

"Linedhel!" She exclaimed in horror, then put a hand over her eyes to block the sight of him as she quickly turned to exit back the way she came. "I told Gilhoth I did not want to see him like this! No!"

Tears streaked down her face as she bent over; it was as if her mental distress was causing her actual physical pain. She desperately gasped for air loudly as she fell to her knees. The pain coming from within her was nearly more than she could bear as her head bent down until it nearly touched the floor.

Immediately, Linedhel was kneeling at her side, taking her face between his hands to help her meet his eyes. "Belegwen, please come! There is something you must know!" Linedhel stated firmly. "There is no time to waste! Let us go now!"

"He is dead!" Belegwen croaked in between her sobs, her whole body shivering with pain. "I do not want to see him this way! Please Linedhel, do not make me! Please!" She begged hysterically, practically screaming in the older elf's face.

"He is warm, Belegwen." Linedhel whispered to her with an odd look in his eye. Belegwen could only stare at him in silence, too worked up to fully comprehend what he was telling her.

"He does not breathe, but for some reason his body is still warm." He reiterated, staring deeply into her eyes as if to somehow try and help her understand what was happening.

"He has been dead nearly all night out in the cold rain, but he is still warm. Do you not know what that means?" He asked her desperately, his fingers shaking as he gripped her face steadfastly.

Belegwen did not dare think it though, for she could not tolerate false hope. It was impossible anyway, as she had watched him die with her very own eyes, had she not? He was gone and she knew it! He was gone and she would never get to look into his cerulean eyes ever again!

Almost as if he had read her thoughts, Linedhel replied quickly, "I do not want to give you false hope Belegwen, but I have seen such things happen to strongly bonded couples before."

"I do not presume to know much about what happens between two bonded elves; there are many unknowns concerning the topic and I am no expert on the matter. However, what I do know is that what is happening here is not natural. You are bonded to him, Belegwen, and so there is a possibility…" He said, trailing off until she could barely hear his voice.

"A possibility… of what?" Belegwen breathed, never once breaking eye contact with the thin, grey-eyed elf in front of her.

"Belegwen," he started, looking intently into her eyes, which gave her the sense of hope she had been trying to avoid. It was then he murmured the words she was longing to hear…

_"_ _I think you might be able to bring him back."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Belegwen's memory of Haldir's words comes from Chapter 21: Intimidation.


	51. Orophin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Member24601 for the comment and to my fans for the kudos!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 51: Orophin

The first thing Haldir noticed when he awoke was that his fingers were wet. The water was warm and would have been pleasant to the touch if it had not been unexpected. He tried to flick it off his fingers, but found there was more liquid than he initially anticipated. Moreover, moving his fingers in the water just made him feel tired.

Very, very tired.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Haldir grimaced as he realized his body felt as if it was oddly contorted over some sort of wooden plank. The wood was smooth beneath his face, which seemed to be elevated, as well as underneath his hips and legs, which felt as if they were lower than the rest of him for some reason.

The wood was moving up and down lightly in a pattern, making him feel slightly uneasy as he tried to go back to sleep. The air smelled fresh and salty, almost as if he was at the sea.

Wait _. The sea?_

Haldir's eyes opened abruptly at the thought. He noticed his face was resting on top of a wooden seat in what appeared to be a small rowboat. His hips and legs were in the bottom of the boat, sprawled on their sides as if he had fallen into the boat somehow. One of his elbows was bent over the edge of the boat and his fingertips were dragging over water's warm outer membrane as he floated over gentle waves.

However, this was all of little concern to Haldir. What mattered most was the peace he felt in his heart as he inhaled breath after breath of salty, fresh air. It refreshed him in a way he had never felt before. A calm washed over his body as he closed his eyes once more.

Haldir was at peace here. Perhaps he would go back to sleep…

He would have too, had someone not started tapping his calf.

Haldir groaned, squeezing his eyes closed once more before forcing them open. It felt as though he could barely stay awake. This time, he slowly pulled his arm out of the water and into the boat, letting his hand rest on the seat next to his face. He stared at the clear water droplets as they ran down his fingers and into the sleeve of his tunic with fascination.

In the distance, he noticed the sky was a mix of navy blue and the darkest of purples. Though the sky was filled with light grey clouds, it did not look like it would rain since it was quite bright outside. In fact, Haldir could see the white light of the sun far away in the horizon, though it was not overly bright to his eyes.

Again, someone patted his leg. Growing annoyed with the patting, Haldir used his damp hand to grip the wooden seat of the boat and slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. He blinked his dazed eyes a few times and then turned towards his legs to find out who was touching him.

Immediately, he was wide-awake. A scream escaped from his lips before he could control it. Suddenly feeling much more energetic, he scrambled to his feet, causing the boat to rock dangerously back and forth in the deep, bluish-purple waters. Haldir held his arms out on both sides to try and maintain his balance. Regardless, he fell backwards, his bottom crashing roughly onto the seat that had previously been his pillow. His heart was ready to race out of his chest as he stared at the elf sitting on the other wooden seat in the boat.

"Gwador," Orophin said, welcoming Haldir with a calm voice.

"Stay away from me!" Haldir shouted, pulling his feet up onto the seat he was perched on and pushing his hips to the stern of the boat, causing it to rock hazardously again as he got as far away from his brother as he possibly could.

Unlike his previous dreams, Orophin did not look particularly menacing at the moment. In fact, he looked much like he always did in life. His blue eyes were the same as Haldir's, which they had both gotten from their adar. Orophin's face was also very similar to his own, but with a smattering of nearly invisible, skin-colored freckles that were scattered across the top of his nose and prominent cheekbones. He alone had acquired both of those features from their naneth. They both shared the same shiny golden hair, although Orophin had chosen to grow his hair out much longer than him. The middle brother was dressed, as usual, in his warden's uniform and looked just as Haldir remembered him.

The face Orophin currently presented him with was one of annoyance as he leaned over with his elbows planted on his knees. One of his hands was lazily holding up his chin as he stared at him. Haldir would have thought his brother looked bored, had he not rolled his eyes at him in an expression of utter exasperation. The look was very familiar, one he had become accustomed to over the years. Orophin had looked at him in that manner many, many times during his life.

"Can you hear how ridiculous you sound Haldir? How little you must think of me to have crafted the idea in your mind that I am some sort of enemy of yours." He began to say, then lifted his head up and folded his hands together before allowing them to hang between his relaxed legs. His face looked accusatory as he asked, "Do all of the good memories you have of me mean nothing to you anymore?"

Haldir could only stare at him though, too afraid to say anything in return. Orophin appeared to be hurt and glared at him for a moment, then seemed to put his temper back into check and spoke to him as calmly as he could manage in his current state. "Your dreams were merely dreams Haldir. You have been under a lot of stress recently and it has been presenting itself in a variety of ways, including these so called 'dreams' you have of me."

"Why are you here then?" Haldir demanded, still feeling very anxious about Orophin's presence, though he did not seem to be in danger as he was during his repetitive dreams.

Orophin snorted softly and rolled his eyes again. "I am obviously here to help you, you foolish elf! Do you know where you are right now?"

Haldir gazed out at the bluish-purple water; it went as far as the eye could see in every direction. Now that he was looking around, he noticed the other boats. There were several other boats that were just like his, floating on the water and headed in the same direction. Each boat appeared to have a sleeping elf inside of it. Haldir did not see any other boats where the elf riding inside was awake; he was the only one who seemed to be aware of what was happening.

He also noticed an odd, red cord linked to a few of the elves and briefly wondered what the cords were for. The cords were different thicknesses and some of the elves did not seem to have them at all.

How very strange indeed.

"I have not the slightest idea of where I am Orophin." He finally answered in a hushed voice, still trying to come to terms with his brother's presence in the boat that he was mysteriously riding.

"You are headed to Mandos' Halls Haldir. Do you not remember dying?" Orophin asked, opening his palms up towards the sky as he inquired.

Haldir closed his eyes and thought as hard as he could in his tired state. At once, he remembered the injuries he had sustained in battle, first to his arm and then to his back. He remembered falling down in the rain and then retreating into his mind, where he had spent his last moments showing Belegwen his memories from the past, hoping to convey to her somehow that he had loved her so much longer than she knew. Belegwen had cried too, right there in front of him as he had hoped she eventually would.

Never had he imagined it would happen on his deathbed though.

"I remember," he said softly as he recalled the look of the pain that was etched upon her face during his last moments. Haldir had died and left her there, alone and pregnant. What would happen to her now that he was gone?

Worry set into Haldir's mind as he wondered about Belegwen and his son. Would they be cared for in his absence? Would Rumil help them as he had promised? Would Belegwen be able to move on without him, now that they had formed such a strong bond between themselves?

He shook his head with frustration, upset by the possible scenarios that were running through his mind. It was too painful to dwell on, so Haldir chose to bring the conversation back to the original topic he had broached. "That does not explain why you are here with me though. You died months ago—why are you not in the halls?" Haldir asked his brother, his vocal tone giving away subtle hints of the turmoil he was dealing with inside.

Orophin smiled at him, which made Haldir feel rather uncomfortable. He still was uncertain of what to expect from his brother's appearance. "Mandos has sent me on a mission to help you Haldir." He replied.

Haldir cocked his eyebrow up in curiosity. "Mandos? _The_ Mandos?" He questioned, although he supposed it should not have been as astonishing as it sounded. Mandos was the Vala who lived in the ever-growing halls of the dead, where all elves who died unnaturally went.

"No, another Mandos… Of course it is _the Mandos_! Good grief Haldir, pull yourself together!" Orophin exclaimed, starting to take an attitude with him.

Haldir glared at his brother. Had they not been in a wobbly boat, he would have wrestled him to the ground right about now to set him straight. Orophin had a habit of becoming too big for his britches at times and Haldir did not have any qualms with taking him down a few pegs whenever it happened.

As Haldir thought about how good it would feel to put Orophin into a headlock once again, his brother seemed to pull himself out of his attitude and became serious. Seeing the change in his brother's demeanor, Haldir decided to continue with his inquiry. "What are you here to help me with Orophin?"

"I am to bestow a gift upon you gwador; one that comes from the Valier Vaire herself." Orophin said, his eyes glistening with some emotion Haldir could not place. "You see, Vaire was weaving the end of your story into her tapestry and your fate upset her greatly. It bothered her that you had waited thousands of years for Belegwen to love you, only to die once you had received her love in full. She appealed to her husband Mandos and, as it turns out, he is not nearly as stern and heartless as all the tales say. At least, he seems to have a soft spot in his heart for his wife, as he has done this to please her." Orophin said with a knowing smile.

"Mandos makes few exceptions when it comes to the fate of each elf, but when Vaire begged him to pity you and send you back to Arda, he agreed to make an exception under one condition. You must be willing to go back and mend the relationship between yourself and Belegwen." Orophin stated.

Haldir's eyes widened at the news. Had he ever had such luck before in all his long years?

"What must I do?" Haldir immediately asked. Already, he felt desperate to be granted the mercy of going back. He would do anything, anything at all, if it meant getting to go back to Belegwen and his little ellon.

"That is indeed the question of the hour, though it has a relatively simple answer." Orophin explained calmly. "I have been watching the two of you together for months now and you have both made mistakes repeatedly with one another. For two people who are incredibly intelligent and gifted in the knowledge of warfare, you have both proven over and over again that you are failures when it comes to love."

Now it was Haldir's turn to roll his eyes. "As if you could do any better," he replied hotly, before guiding the interrogation back towards his brother. "And what is this about you watching us? How is that even possible?"

"I am certain you are more than familiar with the Lady Galadriel's mirror, are you not? It has a twin, which resides with Mandos in the halls. Through it, I was able to watch what was happening between you and Belegwen. I had Mandos' permission, of course." He added with a nod.

Haldir mulled over the new information his brother had given him before coming to a new realization. "Is that why I saw you in the lady's mirror a few months ago?"

"Yes," Orophin answered as he shook his head, his eyes holding a look of disbelief. "It was an unexpected accident which surprised even Mandos. I went to watch your life in the mirror at the exact same time that you went to peer into Lady Galadriel's mirror and, for a brief moment, the two mirrors connected. It was an odd coincidence; one that Mandos said had never occured before. I suppose it was because I was trying to watch you; I ended up seeing exactly who I was looking for."

"It was odd indeed. It did not look like it was fully you, but a ghost of you shadowing my motions." Haldir recalled, remembering how frightened he felt when it happened.

"That is how you looked on my side as well." Orophin recollected softly. "I can see why it would be upsetting to you and the lady though, as it was not her intended use of the mirror."

In a way, hearing this explanation put Haldir at ease. He had not seen an omen of death in the lady's mirror after all. It turned out to just be Orophin trying to spy on him from the halls.

"So, let me get this straight… You have been watching Belegwen and I in Mandos' mirror for months? Help me understand gwador, why did Mandos allow you to do this?" Haldir asked, still very confused about what was going on. He also felt a bit of unease awaken within him as he remembered all of the private moments he had shared with Belegwen. Had Orophin seen those in the mirror too?

An embarrassed look briefly passed over Orophin's face before he replied. "I was required to study Belegwen, as I wronged her quite badly during my life. It is one of many ways Mandos is choosing to heal my spirit."

Orophin spoke more quietly now, as he previously had in life when he confessed difficult truths to his brother. "You surely remember my faults Haldir. In life, I often gave a lot of merit to gossip I heard around the city. This error has resulted in me drawing inappropriate conclusions about many elves I knew, as I judged them by the misleading things I heard about them. Perhaps the most unfairly judged of these was Belegwen. I trusted the things several misguided elves were saying about her simply because she was a female warden. Thus, I completely misjudged her character and I treated her horribly because of it."

"To make up for my terrible gaffe, Mandos wanted to help me understand Belegwen's true personality. Therefore, I have been allowed to view several parts of her past and present to acquire a better understanding of her." Orophin confessed, flushing a bit as he studied the bottom of the boat, his unbraided hair falling over his shoulders and blocking his face from Haldir's view.

Haldir's eyebrows rose up in question of his brother's statement. "And? Have you indeed acquired a better understanding of her?" Haldir asked, pushing for an answer. He tried to read his brother's expression through the golden hair that was cascading down in front of his face, but could not seem to get a good view of his expression.

"Yes," Orophin said, tilting his head up to meet Haldir's eyes through the waterfall of golden hair before brushing it tidily behind his ears. He looked ashamed as his blue eyes bore into Haldir's once more. "Belegwen is probably the bravest elleth I have ever seen. She does not back down from challenges, but faces them head on with an uncommon amount of determination. She frequently shows kindness to others who are not always kind in return and turns a blind eye to all those who mock her for being a warden. She has worked harder than most to acquire and maintain her position as a warden and is fully deserving of her position as marchwarden."

Haldir blinked at Orophin, shocked to find his brother had changed his mind about Belegwen after all this time. He waited silently as Orophin studied the purple-tinted clouds in the distance, then finished by saying, "She seems well-suited for you Haldir. You have chosen well."

Upon hearing those words, Haldir bowed his head and smiled. He had always hoped his brothers would approve of Belegwen. It had been obvious from the start that Rumil did, but he and Belegwen were friends for a little while before he found out Haldir was in love with her. Haldir had known that Orophin would be a much harder sell though. After all, Orophin had previously believed that Belegwen had wronged him by joining the wardens, therefore making it impossible for him to even attempt to pursue a relationship with her.

However, Orophin seemed to approve of her now, which was a step in the right direction. It gladdened Haldir's heart to find out that it was so. He had hoped his family would embrace Belegwen as one of their own and it now seemed they had. Still, one question lingered in his mind and he wasted no time voicing it out loud.

"Yet… you say we have both made mistakes. Where do you think we went wrong?" He asked, already knowing Orophin had a blatantly strong opinion on the matter. He always did when it came to important things and he was never afraid to voice his thoughts.

Haldir watched as Orophin closed his eyes and shook his head, which in turn made the boat sway awkwardly against the patterned motion of the waves. "Haldir, neither of you talked about getting married before you bonded with one another. Did either of you even realize what you were doing when you came together for the first time?" Orophin asked awkwardly as his hands landed outward in an exasperated shrugging position.

He closed his eyes after hearing Orophin's question and felt his face start to blush with embarrassment. Orophin was definitely right on that account. He and Belegwen had been very careless in their relationship and had never taken the time to discuss the implications of their actions. Instead, they had chosen to hide their love, keeping it a secret from all, which had in turn caused a much larger problem when they were caught kissing in the forest.

Had they been thinking when they did those things? No, they had not. Haldir knew that he, in particular, had thought of little else other than his desire to make Belegwen his own after waiting all those long and lonely years. Then, once they had finished, he had stared up at the stars while trying to figure out what had transpired between them.

Haldir had been shocked when he discovered that their lovemaking had renewed all of his prior emotions for her. They had returned in the blink of an eye and with an overwhelming strength that had shaken him to the core.

"Gwador, did you hear my question?" Orophin asked again, looking very concerned with his current state of reflection. "Did you and Belegwen realize you were marrying one another when you made love for the first time?"

"No," he whispered, feeling a bit ashamed with himself. This was not how two elves were supposed to marry, but he loved Belegwen and he knew she desired him too when they bonded with one another. Even if she had not fully loved him then, he knew she did now. "It all happened so quickly… We both became lost in the moment. It was what we both wanted at the time, though we did conduct ourselves rather irresponsibly, acting with haste as we did."

"This is one of the things you must fix Haldir. How will you right this wrong?" Orophin asked calmly, focusing solely on him as he waited for a response.

"I do not think it can be fixed, so to speak," Haldir started to say, starting to grow upset by the direction the conversation was heading. "Because of the bond we share, we are already married in every sense of the word. I cannot undo that, nor would I want to."

"But do you even know what kind of life Belegwen wishes to lead with you? Do you know what she expects of you? Do you have expectations of her?" Orophin asked, questioning him thoroughly. "Surely you must plan a life together if you return. What if you do not want the same things?"

Haldir frowned at this. He had been so busy as of late that he had not thought about any of this. Though he was not fully certain, Haldir imagined he had at least a vague idea of what Belegwen would want from him in their marriage. Surely they could work the rest out between themselves, right?

"I will have to speak with her about it when I return. I am certain we can come to an agreement we can both live with—nay, enjoy." He argued calmly. "I am not opposed to some level of compromise and I daresay she will feel the same way."

"You are willing to open up to her then?" Orophin shot back with a hopeful look on his face. "You have also been struggling with that for a long time now. Belegwen will need for you to be open and honest with her concerning your needs and emotions if this is ever going to working out. Are you capable of doing this?"

That was fair. Haldir knew he had been a complete failure in this area as well, at least until their last few hours together. He had tried to tell Belegwen how he felt repeatedly, but had failed under the pressure of his own hurt feelings. To have her reject him again would have been unbearable! He had been too afraid to risk opening up to her over the past year. Could he bring himself to speak with her openly and honestly upon his return?

Upon seeing his hesitation, Orophin crouched down low and carefully moved towards him, sitting next to Haldir on the seat he was on and then patted his leg in a lame attempt to comfort him. "You need not worry about fading again gwador. She is returning your feelings now; it is quite obvious, even to me." Orophin said, consoling him gently. Haldir met Orophin's blue eyes after a few moments and saw concern for him lingering within their depths.

Haldir shivered internally at the memory of his pain. Had he not been able to rid himself of his hurt feelings in some way, Haldir knew he would have completely faded. The whole thing started a couple of weeks after Belegwen had rejected him. He had started to feel exhausted and out of shape, even though he was working out more than ever, trying to do anything to distract his mind from the hurt she had caused him.

He had stopped sleeping regularly too. When he did sleep, his dreams had been haunted with images of him and her together, though it was unobtainable. Haldir would then wake up from those dreams alone, feeling an unexplainable tightness in his chest that was uncomfortable and prevented him from going back to sleep. He'd often pace his balcony for the remainder of the night, trying to rid himself of the images he pictured wistfully in his dreams.

It had hurt so badly at the time. Even now, when he had clearly secured her affections, it still burned him to think about those days. Most of the time, he chose to bury them deep within himself as a measure of self-preservation because he was not strong enough to deal with it on his own.

Would he ever be able to fully let it go?

"I know Belegwen loves me… It is still hard to open up to her though after all that has transpired." He admitted softly. "I will find a way to accomplish it though. I know it is necessary."

The two sat in silence for a few moments before Haldir continued speaking. "I have spent the last few months convinced I was going to die Orophin. I did not give a lot of thought to what would happen if I did not."

"You will work it out though, will you not?" Orophin asked, clearly needing confirmation on the matter. "Will you marry her properly when you get back?"

"Yes, I will see it done. She and the elfling are very important to me. I will not allow her to fall into shame or force the little one to be without his adar. That is unimaginable to me." Haldir replied sharply. And it was—he loved Belegwen too much to do anything other than act honorably towards her at this point. They had made their mistakes, but if Haldir was given a second chance, he would do all he could to heal the brokenness between them.

"I suppose we ought to get you back then so you can figure everything out." Orophin said with a smile, then reached behind Haldir's back and pulled out a large, red cord. "Do you know what this is gwador?"

Haldir shook his head, perplexed by what he was looking at. Orophin appeared to be holding some sort of conduit made out of deep crimson flesh. It looked thicker than any rope he had ever seen and it appeared to be made of two different parts, which were tightly entwined with one another. It seemed to throb in his brother's hands, as if it were some sort of living entity with a beating heart.

"It is your bond with Belegwen; the other side is tied to her." Orophin said as he looked at it almost enviously. "I have never seen one so thick before. Your bond with her must be very strong."

"It is more than I ever hoped for," Haldir replied, gently touching the woven strands of the bond for the first time. He ran his hand across it and felt pleased when he noticed the tingling power that often passed between them. Haldir's hand followed the length of the bond and felt how it coiled behind him, ending on his back behind the spot where his heart was beating. "I am uncertain of why we have been blessed with such a strong bond, but I enjoy it."

"I think you made the bond this way gwador," Orophin muttered, then looked up at him and started to explain his theory. "I think that when she finally allowed you to take a hold of her, you latched onto her as tightly as possible to ensure you would never part with her again." He said slowly.

It was all speculation of course. No one but the Valar and Eru Iluvatar knew about the bonds that formed between elves when they were in love. Perhaps there was some truth to Orophin's theory though, as Haldir was certain he would never let Belegwen go again.

"Belegwen's side of the bond ties you to her and, if you are careful, you can use it as a rope to pull yourself back to her." Orophin said, then promptly stilled Haldir's hand as he haphazardly grabbed at the bond that tethered him to his wife.

"Remember, you must be careful! If you pull too hard, you will pull Belegwen here instead of pulling yourself home. That is the fate of many elves who try this endeavor; do not let it be yours." He cautioned before letting go of Haldir's hand.

Haldir paused for a moment as Orophin's warning sunk in. Perhaps such an action was too risky. After all, if he ended up pulling Belegwen to the sea, he would not only be taking her life, but the life of their unborn son as well.

"No," he finally said, letting go of the rope-like bond. "It is not worth the gamble. I will not put Belegwen and the elfling in danger for my own sake. It is not fair to them if I should fail."

"Is it not also unfair to make them go about their lives without your presence when you have been granted this opportunity to return?" Orophin asked immediately, meeting Haldir's eyes once again. Haldir could tell his brother disagreed with his decision, as Orophin appeared desperate to change his mind. "Gwador, they both need you! Find your courage and go to them now! We are still floating towards the halls even now, so the longer you wait, the harder it will be to return!"

Haldir sighed. He desperately wanted to go back, but was not sure whether or not it was appropriate to put his loved ones at risk just to do so. Could he live with himself if he failed and pulled them both into the halls?

"Haldir, look at me and listen." Orophin suddenly demanded with a commanding voice that left no room for indecision. Haldir saw a new look grace Orophin's face— _determination_. "The best days of your life are still ahead of you! You are about to get everything you had ever dreamed of having in your life! All you have to do is go back!" He pleaded.

When Haldir did not move right away, he continued to urge him. "Go now! Marry Belegwen and enjoy your sweet son! This opportunity is a blessing and you would be a fool not to take it." Orophin insisted, his hands moving in emphasis of his point.

He finished his tangent with the cold, hard truth of the matter. "You will regret it forever if you do not go."

Orophin was right; Haldir would regret it if he did not try. Suddenly regaining the courage he had lost, Haldir grabbed the pulsating red conduit and held it in his hands gently, but firmly. He put one hand in front of the other slowly and started to use the fleshy rope to pull himself back. He could not see the shore in the distance, but he knew it would come into view sooner or later if he kept pulling.

"Yes! Yes gwador!" Orophin exclaimed, becoming louder as he grew more excited. "Just like that! Keep going!"

Haldir pulled and pulled, using the iron control he was known for to ensure he did not speed up. He refused to drag Belegwen and the little ellon into death's clutches. All the while, Orophin sat by his side, cheering him on, just like the olden days when they were wardens together. Haldir even broke a sweat because he was working so hard; his hands felt tender from his firm grip on the rope. However, he pushed ever on, trying to focus on Orophin's encouraging voice and the tingling power he felt from the bond, which reminded him of Belegwen every time he placed his hand on it.

After what seemed like hours, he finally caught sight of the shore in the distance. While his body felt like giving up, his mind grew clearer as he caught sight of his goal. Haldir worked faster now that he was able to see where his journey would end, determined to make it onto the sandy beach ahead of him.

"When we get closer to the shore, the boat will disappear and you will have to swim. Be prepared." Orophin warned.

Even with the warning, Haldir was still shocked when it happened and shouted as he dropped into the dark waters. His tired body kicked and flailed until his head popped out of the water with a loud gasp. He swam for the shore as swiftly as his fatigued body would allow. Upon reaching it, he started to slowly walk out of the water until he was fully on the shore. There, he promptly collapsed to his hands and knees, grasping handfuls of sand to try and somehow steady his body, which was shaking with exhaustion.

Haldir rolled over and stared at the purplish-blue sky. A flash of lightning lit up the beach around him for a moment and he caught sight of his brother once again. Orophin was sitting patiently beside him and somehow looked as if he had managed to stay dry through the whole ordeal. Haldir cursed his luck when he saw this, though Orophin just smiled and muttered something about the benefits of already being dead.

When Haldir had finally caught his breath, he looked over at Orophin once more and asked, "Do you have any other advice for me gwador?"

"Tell Belegwen you love her often; she needs to hear it. Oh, and tell her to stop lying all the time." He said quickly. "She always has good intentions for her lies, but they almost always come back to haunt her in unfortunate ways. She would be better off being more truthful and forthcoming—you both would." He advised, correcting himself to include Haldir in the blanket statement.

For his part, Haldir simply nodded. He appreciated that Orophin was still able to be so open with him. He missed having that with him.

Knowing this might be the last time he saw Orophin for a very long time, Haldir decided to make sure Orophin knew he cared before they parted ways again. Not wanting to have any more regrets in his life, Haldir forced himself to say, "I love you gwador. Thank you for helping me."

Orophin smiled at him, secretly knowing how hard the admission had been for him. "I love you too gwador. Please pass along the same sentiment to Rumil for me. I know he has been struggling with my absence." He said quietly.

"I will," Haldir replied, stifling a yawn. He was starting to feel very tired again, just as he had on the boat. A memory passing through his mind was what finally jarred him back into full cognition.

"Orophin, am I going to be in pain when I wake up?" He asked slowly, only halfway there mentally at this point in time.

"Unfortunately yes." Orophin replied, his voice sounding pained at the thought. "I am afraid there is no avoiding that. You were injured terribly in the battle. It is going to take you a long time to recover from this one."

Haldir suddenly worried for Belegwen, who had felt the injuries through their bond right before he died. He did not want her to suffer on his account. Bothered by the thought of it, Haldir searched his mind for an idea to help and quickly came to a conclusion that might, in fact, do the trick.

Anything was worth a try, especially if it prevented Belegwen from feeling the pain of his injuries. Haldir did not want to be the source of Belegwen's pain ever again. He closed his eyes as he thought about what he would do and waited to be swept back into his body.

He did not have to wait very long.

ooOoo

Belegwen's breathing was noticeably uneven as she stared into Linedhel's hopeful eyes in the dim caves. Was he somehow right? Could she really bring Haldir back from the dead with their bond?

"How is this possible?" She asked in an almost incoherent voice. Belegwen had not wanted to cling to any false hopes, but now she knew she was. She was certain it had to do with the way her heart was beating alarmingly fast at the very thought of seeing Haldir gazing into her eyes once more.

"Bonds between elves link them very closely with one another in many mysterious ways. It is possible that you are the reason he lingers here. You might be holding him fast to this world with your bond." Linedhel answered. "We cannot know how long he will stay in his current state though. You must hurry and try to bring him back while there is still a chance of his return."

Belegwen stared at Linedhel for a few more moments before nodding her head in shocked understanding. "Yes… Yes, I will try." She breathed as she stood up unsteadily with the help of Linedhel's hands. Her legs barely felt as if they would support her weight as the healer led her behind the white sheet that separated them from her husband's body.

She stopped breathing momentarily when she saw him. Haldir was terribly pallid in the low light and stared at the ceiling with a face permanently paralyzed in pain. His eyes were glassy and unmoving, an unnatural look for the elf who did not even look like that when he was asleep. His hair was a mess, having been soaked in the rain and later dried in clumps that were caked with hardened blood. Someone had removed his armor, leaving him dressed in the same black breeches and undershirt she currently wore. The deep cut in his arm was exposed and appeared to be covered in his own blood, mixed with the blood of orcs.

"Sit down," Linedhel urged her softly. Belegwen realized that she had not been breathing and focused so she could once again, easing herself onto the floor next to Haldir with Linedhel's help. "Touch him. Try to feel if the bond is still active." He advised her as he held her shoulder in his hand, trying to comfort her during this difficult moment.

Tentatively, Belegwen extended her hand to Haldir's exposed upper arm. She gasped when she touched him. Though Linedhel had told her about his current state of warmth, it was still a shock to experience it because Haldir looked like he was dead. She grasped his arm tightly and closed her eyes, trying to feel for the familiar thrumming power that normally pulsated through them both when they touched.

She waited and waited, but it was not there.

After a few moments, Belegwen grimaced in pain as she looked up at Linedhel. "It is not there. I cannot feel the bond." She said in an unnaturally high voice.

"Perhaps if you try to use spirit healing on him…" Linedhel suggested quietly, still looking hopeful. Belegwen's heart was already sinking into despair though. If this did not work, she was going to be worse off than she was previously.

Gently, she slid her hand down from Haldir's upper arm until it rested on the deep gash on the underside of his forearm. Belegwen clutched Haldir's wound gently and closed her eyes to concentrate as Linedhel had taught her. She was drawing energy from her own spirit into her hand, causing a powerful warmth to build up within it. When she was ready, Belegwen pushed her power into the wound beneath it, gritting her teeth with effort as she focused on healing Haldir's wound, as well as his entire body.

When she finally could no longer bear the power emitting from her hand, she released his arm with a gasp and then reached out and caught herself before she fell over. Belegwen was exhausted and struggled to hold herself up as she stared expectantly at Haldir's face while trying to catch her breath.

There was not so much as a twitch or a blink though. Belegwen stared at his chest, hoping to see it rise and fall once more in succession, but there was no movement. There was nothing. Not ready to give up yet, Belegwen squeezed Haldir's forearm even tighter and tried again. The heat built up correctly inside her palm, but did not seem to do anything to his still figure.

He was no longer there. Belegwen felt silent tears stain her face as she looked at what was left of her husband. He was not coming back. It was over now.

"Wait." She heard Linedhel saying distantly, "I think we have been going about this the wrong way."

Belegwen could not bring herself to look at Linedhel in her current state, but slowly asked in a whispered tone, "Are you sure this is not hopeless Linedhel? What more can I do?"

She felt Linedhel squeeze her shoulder firmly and she swallowed her pride and tried to focus on his voice, even though all she wanted to do now was fade away into nothingness. "Do you remember what happened after the warg fight?" Linedhel asked her intensely, his eyes never once leaving her face. "Do you remember what happened when you attempted to heal Haldir's cheek?"

Belegwen thought about it for a moment, then gave a small nod as she remembered that day. Haldir had sustained a cut that went all the way through his cheek and Belegwen had used spirit healing on him for the very first time. However, the power she pushed into his body had circled back into her own, healing her own leg injury in addition to Haldir's wound. Linedhel had told her in the evening that Haldir's body had considered her another part of itself, therefore when she had healed him, he had healed her in turn.

"Try to heal yourself Belegwen," Linedhel urged her desperately, "Perhaps you can create the arc of power between yourselves once again."

"Can I actually heal myself?" Belegwen questioned, finally meeting his eyes once again. She had never seen an elf try to heal himself before and was not certain it was possible.

"Yes, you can. Gifts such as healing are intended to be shared with others, but using them on oneself is also possible. Healing oneself is not often done, as it is harder than healing another, but it is a viable option. All you must do is gather your power within yourself and then let it out as one large burst that will pass through your body. Hold onto Haldir and try it—perhaps it will pass through his body too." Linedhel suggested, his eyes looking at her with desperation.

Apparently Linedhel needed this to work too.

Belegwen took a few breaths to try and calm down, then grabbed Haldir's hand tightly and tried to draw energy up within herself. It no longer mattered how tired she was or how discouraged. All that mattered was getting Haldir back.

It took Belegwen several tries to get enough spirit energy built up to create a surge of power throughout her body. She felt the unnatural heat pooling within her chest, causing her heart to beat rapidly. Power radiated from her body as a glow that was visible to all. In complete abandon, she then pushed all the energy she had left throughout her body. A flash of light illuminated the darkened wall of the cave as she felt her own power ooze through every crevice of her body, including her hand that was holding onto Haldir.

Haldir's body jerked and his hand suddenly latched tightly onto hers. Belegwen's eyes shot open as she heard his voice scream out into the cave. The power was looping through them both once more, its strength nearly overwhelming as it passed through their bodies over and over again with haste. Suddenly, the pain of his wounds weighed heavily upon her, causing Belegwen to shiver and shriek in pain. Immediately, she let go of his hand and everything faded into black…

_Belegwen woke up to find that she was back on the beach. The sun was beaming heavily down upon her, brightly shining as it lingered overhead. The blue tone of the sky was filled with light, which was reflected down into the unending body of water. Gulls flew overhead silently, going about their days as they always did. The tide was lapping at Belegwen's feet, which she saw were bare and immersed by golden granules of sand._

_Unlike the last two times Belegwen had seen the sea, this time was much more controlled. She did not feel like laying down in the water or floating away, but simply stared into the distance, wondering how far one would have to sail to reach Mandos' Halls._

_Was Haldir on the other side of the sea? Did he miss her now that he was gone?_

_Belegwen gasped when an unexpected hand rested itself upon her shoulder. She had not heard anyone approaching from behind and quickly turned around to see who it was, only to take a couple of steps backward in fear._

_It was Haldir's brother Orophin, the one who had been haunting all of his dreams for weeks before he died. Belegwen had witnessed the dreams a few times and they had been terrible._

_However, Orophin did not look the same as he had in Haldir's dreams. Gone was the evil look Belegwen had become familiar accustomed to over the past few weeks._

_Belegwen watched as he slowly lowered the hand that had touched her shoulder back down to his side and then stared at her with very calculating eyes for a few moments. Suddenly, he let out an inaudible sigh and looked at the ground. Belegwen had only caught a glimpse of the look upon his face before he lowered his head, but she was familiar with that look…_

_It was shame._

_While shame was an emotion that Belegwen was all too familiar with, it did not seem very natural on Orophin's face. Belegwen had known Orophin for most of her time as a warden and this was the first time she had ever seen him look ashamed over something. If anything, Orophin had always struck her as someone who was overly confident and cocky at times._

_Indeed, Orophin had not bothered to mince words when it came to voicing his opinions about Belegwen as a warden; she had endured many insults from him over the years. As was Belegwen's way, she had nonchalantly let the unkind words roll off her in public, but they had still hurt at times. Often she would find herself dwelling on them while she was alone, mostly when she went to the training grounds during the night for extra practice. In those moments, she tried her best to make the onslaught of unkind words spur her to greater heights, seeking to prove each and every warden wrong who thought poorly of her for no good reason._

_In some ways, their words had shaped her and made her into the leader she was today._

_Orophin was still not an elf that Belegwen trusted though. Therefore, when he held out his hand for her to take, she did not accept it. Instead, she shook her head and stared at him, waiting for him to strike up a conversation with her._

_When Orophin started to speak, Belegwen could hear no sound coming from his lips. Part of her training as a warden had been to read lips though; thus, she watched him closely to try and interpret the words he was mouthing to her._

_"_ _I was wrong to act as I did towards you during my life. I misjudged your character completely and treated you horribly because of it. Truly, I am sorry for my actions. If you will allow me, I would like to accept you fully as my gwathel." Belegwen's eyes went wide when she comprehended his words, astonished to find he was trying to make amends with her. "Will you forgive me Belegwen?"_

_Belegwen just stared at him for a moment, shocked that he would attempt this after thousands of years. Now that she was married to Haldir though, Orophin was her brother too. It made sense for him to try and smooth this over and Belegwen was willing to let it go, seeing as his apology was sincere._

_Belegwen decided to reach her hand out to him and he immediately grasped her hand in his own, looking at her with surprised eyes. She gave him a weak smile and nodded while mouthing, "I will forgive you Orophin. Thank you for apologizing gwador."_

_Orophin smiled at her acceptance, looking much like Haldir when he was joyous. His smile lit up his whole face. At once, he gripped her hand tightly and started to lead her towards the forest that was behind the beach. He mouthed one more word to her before turning around to lead her down an unmarked trail._

_"_ _Come."_

_Belegwen followed Orophin closely as they ducked underneath low-hanging branches and swerved around large pieces of brush. The forest was dark and full, much harder to pass through than the golden wood. Belegwen struggled in particular, still barefoot from being on the beach. Orophin traveled fast, but Belegwen kept up well enough. She watched his strong figure as he led her deep into the darkness of the forest._

_Finally, he stopped and smiled back at her as she caught up to him. His hand motioned for her to go ahead of him as he pulled back a thick branch of leaves to reveal a small clearing in the woods. Belegwen stepped into the clearing with Orophin following behind her._

_It was beautiful. The forest floor was littered with small ferns and a sprinkling of yellow and white flowers. Sunrays were visibly streaming through the break in the trees and lit up the forest floor with bright, creamy light. Birds chirped and a soft wind blew around them, making the leaves on the trees behind them rustle. Belegwen watched as a couple of squirrels scampered over a moss-covered log in front of her and then scurried into the safety of the trees._

_While Belegwen was entranced with the splendor of the area, her eyes eventually made their way back to Orophin, who had walked up to where the bright sunlight was spilling into the clearing. She noticed his smile was even larger now as he hurriedly motioned for her to come over to him with his hand._

_Belegwen slowly walked through the ferns and flowers, taking care not to step on them as she drifted towards Orophin. When she was still a few paces away from him, she stopped abruptly. Amid the blinding white glow of the sunshine, she could just barely see the outline of another elf._

_Someone else was in the clearing, just a few paces away from Orophin._

_Suddenly feeling tentative, Belegwen stopped and stared, hoping to catch a glimpse of who she was looking at. The figure did not move though. She looked at Orophin for guidance, only to find him looking very pleased with himself. His expression reassured her. Belegwen took a couple more steps forward until she was fairly close to the stranger who was immersed in light._

_Belegwen watched as Orophin reached out towards the light and took the stranger's hand, holding it palm up in his own hand. Belegwen stared at the upturned hand with curiosity, noting that the stranger seemed to be clothed in a white tunic. Orophin next turned to her and reached out for her hand. Belegwen slowly extended it to him, watching his eyes light up as he took it into his own, then placed it gently on top of the stranger's hand._

_It was no stranger though. As soon as Belegwen touched him, she knew precisely who it was. The tingling of their bond gave it away. Belegwen's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she glanced from Orophin, back to the figure in front of her._

_When he finally took a step forward so that she could see him, Belegwen was so stunned that she stopped breathing. She trembled as her eyes met with his once more._

_It was Haldir._

_Haldir!_

_He was standing with her there, amid the flowers and ferns. His warm hand was in hers once more, squeezing her own to reassure her of his realness. Though she could scarcely take her eyes off her husband, she felt Orophin pat the hands he had connected, holding them firmly together. Haldir then broke his gaze with her to look at his brother. She watched as he mouthed the words she felt in her heart._

_"_ _Thank you."_

_Orophin simply nodded, looking from Haldir back to her with a huge smile on his face. He patted their hands once again, then squeezed them together to show his support of them. Belegwen finally managed to gasp for air as his eyes met hers once again._

_Haldir was back. He had come back for her._

_His eyes sparkled as they studied her once again and his face was filled with joy at their surprise reunion. His loving stare conveyed everything she needed to know about his feelings for her. She could revel in that stare for hours…_

Belegwen woke up with a gasp on the cold hard floor of the cave. Linedhel was shouting something that she could not make out in her weakened state. It had taken everything she had to try and heal herself and now she felt as if she could barely move. She had no energy left to speak of.

She closed her eyes for a moment while she tried to gather her bearings. The sound of Linedhel's scurrying feet finally caused her to open her eyes once more. She was staring at the ceiling of the dark cavern. She felt a drop of water land first on her neck and then on her cheek as she stared at a cluster of stalactites above her head.

There was something in her hand, something warm. Belegwen slowly turned her head and gazed down at her hand, only to find Haldir's hand was once again resting in her own. He was still warm, much to her relief. As she looked back up his body, a movement caught her eye.

It was his chest. He was breathing.

Belegwen's eyes widened as she watched in amazement as her husband breathed once more. She observed the rise and fall of his chest as she laid beside him, shocked with this new development.

A pat on her shoulder roused her from her trance and she found herself looking into Linedhel's amazed face when she looked upward. "You have done it Belegwen!" He exclaimed, confirming the very miracle she beheld with her very own eyes. "Haldir lives!" He proclaimed, nearly shouting with excitement.

"Haldir lives!"


	52. The Journey Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 52: The Journey Home

Belegwen's eyes watched as the elves around her loaded up their injured onto the carts they had brought to Helm's Deep. They worked quickly, knowing they needed to leave soon in order to complete an entire day of marching back towards Lothlorien. Belegwen had helped Linedhel carry Haldir into the main healing cart a few minutes ago, where she had finagled his sleeping form into what looked like a comfortable resting position.

It was difficult to part from him, now that he was alive once more. Belegwen had been scared to leave her husband's side all night, fearing he might quit breathing again if she did. She knew they needed to leave Helm's Deep soon, so she repeatedly reassured herself that he would be okay without her. Linedhel had promised to check on him every hour for the first few days of the trip to make sure all of his vital signs were satisfactory. Deep down, she knew he would be in good hands.

What an incredible relief it was to have him back though! Belegwen rejoiced every time the miracle passed through her mind. Due to the arc of healing power Linedhel had directed her to create between them, Haldir was alive once more! Praise Eru Iluvatar!

Just as Belegwen started to walk towards one of the carts that needed more assistance loading injured elves, the sound of a throat clearing off to her left side caught her attention. Turning to see who was there, Belegwen was surprised to see Eregdol holding her bow and leaf pin in his hands as he approached her. He stopped a few paces in front of her and an awkward silence ensued for a few moments before he finally chose to speak.

"I think you will be needing these for the journey home." He said quietly and then held the procured items out to her. Belegwen took them both quickly, savoring the feeling of the smoothly carved wood of her bow between her hands before hanging it carefully over her shoulder. She pinned her leaf pin to her sleeveless black undershirt, right over her heart where it belonged. Having them both back felt good and she could not help but smile a little because of it.

"Thank you Eregdol," Belegwen said with sincerity, "I appreciate how you changed your vote to make my position official."

Silence fell between them for a second time as Belegwen waited on Eregdol, who seemed to be searching his mind for just the right words to say. "Well… you have proven yourself Marchwarden. I am not easily impressed, but what I saw during the battle was extraordinary. It takes a mighty soldier to march into a losing battle and turn things around the way you did that night."

Belegwen nodded, accepting the compliment wordlessly. Eregdol was not done speaking though and continued on. "During the battle, you did precisely what Haldir would have done; you looked out for everyone's safety and you got us out of a bad situation. I am grateful to have survived. Before you joined the battle, it did not seem like anyone would make it out alive. We owe our lives to you and for that I thank you."

She watched as he put his fist over his heart and bowed to her. "I apologize for making you go before the city council. I was wrong about you and I am sorry for the hardship I created."

Belegwen blinked a few times at this. She was so shocked by his apology and kind words that she had no idea what to say. He did not give her any time to make a reply though and quickly hurried away to help with the infirm. Belegwen found herself glancing down at the leaf pinned once again to her chest. She ran her thumb across the glossy green stone and felt the silver veins push into her finger. Her heart beat a little faster as the familiar excitement of being a warden blossomed within her once more, as it had in the past.

She was back to normal again…

A marchwarden of Lothlorien.

ooOoo

"Are you certain you are well enough to do this?" Rumil questioned. Halendil was not even his own son, yet Rumil found himself struggling to hand him over to someone other than Belegwen for the day. He was the only elf other than Belegwen who held the newborn elfling yesterday and now felt a bond stronger than mere kinship with the little ellon. He needed to ensure Halendil would be safe during the marches.

"Only my legs are broken Rumil, not my arms!" Bragolith reminded him, holding out his arms eagerly to receive the sleeping little ellon. "I am more than capable of holding him for a few hours. In fact, I am certain I will enjoy it, as it has been more than a few centuries since I have held one of my ion's elflings and even longer since my own elflings were this little."

Reluctantly, Rumil surrendered little Halendil into Bragolith's arms with gentle care. Bragolith was riding in one of the carts on the way home; an uruk-hai wielding a mace had broken both of his legs during the battle. Though many had volunteered to help with Halendil on the journey home, Rumil had gravitated toward Bragolith first because he was Haldir's closest friend.

A smile lit up Bragolith's face as he held Halendil for the first time. "I shall have to congratulate Belegwen on having such a fine elfling. Haldir will be very proud when he wakes up." He said with a soft voice. Immediately, he cradled the elfling up against his chest and rocked him a bit before sitting still and admiring him.

Rumil breathed a sigh of relief as he gladly heard those words for the thousandth time that morning. He was overcome with joy when Linedhel had found him and told him the news late last night. Word had spread quickly through the ranks that Haldir had been brought back to life and was breathing. The survivors were pleased to hear such good news, though none so much as Belegwen.

He smiled as he remembered the joy twinkling in Belegwen's eyes as she watched over his brother last night. As Rumil watched her stroke his brother's hair, he had seen such love and hope in her visage. Inwardly, he felt the same way. Truly, he was ecstatic. This was a miraculous event and they both knew it. Both had spent time thanking Eru Iluvatar and the Valar for allowing his return the previous night.

Speaking of Belegwen, Rumil smiled as he saw her approaching them now. Last night, Belegwen had decided she would not be wearing her armor on the journey home because it was going to be too difficult to take it on and off several times each day to nurse her son. Instead, she was wearing the clothes all the wardens wore under their armor: a sleeveless, black undershirt, black breeches, and black boots. He noticed she had her bow slung over her shoulder and her leaf pin attached to her shirt once more, pinned over her heart to signify her dedication to the golden wood. Rumil was pleased to see it.

"Good morning Rumil. Bragolith." She said, giving a slight nod to each one in acknowledgement. "Is everything in place for Halendil's day? Do you need anything before we start the marches?"

"I think the little warden seems to have all he needs for now, does he not Bragolith? Can you think of anything else you might need?" Rumil asked after he hugged Belegwen in greeting.

"There is nothing else I can think of," Bragolith replied, then addressed Belegwen directly. "Congratulations on your beautiful ion Belegwen. I am overjoyed for you and Haldir! How wonderful it was to see him holding my elflings all those years ago! I consider it a privilege to now hold his."

Belegwen smiled at Bragolith and remarked, "That is very sweet of you Bragolith; thank you for your well wishes. Oh, and thank you for watching Halendil for a while as I lead the marches. If he needs fed, just send one of the wardens near you to alert me. Gilhoth will take over for me whenever I need to come and tend to Halendil."

"I will do that. In the mean time, Halendil and I will be back here having a lovely trip down memory lane. I plan to tell him all about the mischief I used to get into with Haldir when we shared the watch talan together. Oh, what fun days those were!" He exclaimed, winking at Belegwen in a teasing way that was very much ingrained into Bragolith's nature. "I shall have to tell you all the great stories I have about Haldir sometime soon. I am certain you will enjoy hearing about the things we got into as younglings."

Belegwen looked amused and chuckled a bit before nodding and smiling at Bragolith. "Indeed, I think I would enjoy that Bragolith. Thanks again for your help today." She said, giving him a pat on the shoulder before walking towards the front of the ranks. Rumil followed behind her when she turned around and motioned for him to come along.

Rumil followed Belegwen until she led him to private corner. She then turned to face him and looked as if she was trying to figure out how to tell him something important. However, Rumil was immediately concerned when he saw the look on her face and found himself asking her questions before she had uttered a single word. "Is everything okay gwathel? Has something happened to Haldir?"

Belegwen shook her head. "That is not what I have brought you over here to talk about. Haldir is still breathing though and seems to be doing well enough. I just helped move him onto the healing cart. He is unchanged from last night. Linedhel says he has put himself into a healing sleep that will last until the pain from his injury is more manageable. Haldir himself will choose when to wake up from his deep sleep, but it could be weeks…" She said, trailing off as she started looking around behind him.

"Ah, there he is. Gilhoth!" She called out, motioning for the other elf to come and join them in the corner. If this was not about Haldir, then what was it about? Why did Gilhoth need to be here for the conversation?

"Gilhoth and I were talking last night and we decided our ranks need to be more prepared in case a marchwarden falls again. It is entirely possible that we may be attacked on the journey home and I would like to see us fully prepared with extra leaders available to take over, just in case." Belegwen started to explain.

Internally, Rumil shivered. He hated how Belegwen was speaking as if one of them would perish, but the reasonable side of him could see the need for it. After all, none had thought Haldir would fall, but he did. Chaos had reigned supreme during the battle for nearly an hour when there was no leader heading the soldiers. Perhaps it was necessary to discuss such things, even if they were terribly morbid.

"Rumil, I cannot officially make anyone an extra marchwarden permanently without permission from the lord and lady. However, if you are willing, I would like for you to function as an additional marchwarden for the duration of this trip. That way, there is someone to take over if either Gilhoth or myself become unable to lead due to injury or death." Belegwen said calmly.

His sister's composed visage while they discussed such a morose topic upset Rumil greatly. He disliked thinking about anything happening to Belegwen or Gilhoth and did not want to be thrust into a leadership role for that reason.

However, the thought of being marchwarden was pleasing to him, as he did not think he would ever be considered for such a role. Even if he was fully capable of handling the role, he had never anticipated being chosen since the current marchwarden was his own brother. Haldir always strived to be fair in his actions and Rumil knew that many would see him ascending to a higher role as favoritism on his brother's part.

He had already accepted it would never happen a long time ago, but now Belegwen and Gilhoth both wanted him to take the position. This was a quandary for him and he did not know what to do.

"Please Rumil. The way you single-handedly kept the orcs away from us while we spoke during the battle was impressive. You saved me that night and managed to push my injured body through that hoard of orcs without a single thought for your own safety. You are the best candidate for the job." Belegwen said, trying to persuade him.

"I could not have led the remainder of the troops out of that mess if I had not had you by my side. You saved me several times that night as well." Gilhoth added. "It was very impressive. I know you were tired, but you never lost your pace or concentration and that is what saved us both—Heledhril too."

Rumil sighed. He could not say no to them, though he did not think the lord and lady would want a surplus of marchwardens when they arrived home. There were already three. Did they really need more?

"I will do this for you for now if you truly think we need it, but only for the duration of the trip or until Haldir has recovered, whichever happens first. At that point, I will step down." He said, not wanting to get his hopes up for a long-term position that would not exist. "What do you need me to do on the journey?" Rumil asked, looking between the two of them for an answer.

"I will need extra help when Halendil needs to nurse. I will train both of you to lead the ranks so I can come and go as I need to throughout the day." Belegwen replied. "We will be retracing our steps to find out way home. It will be an exercise in tracking, though we will need to be vigilant as well. We were lucky to run into so few orcs on our journey here. With our numbers dwindling, more hoards might feel comfortable attacking us on the way home. We will have to remain aware of our surroundings for the entire trip home."

Rumil nodded in agreement and saw that Gilhoth was as well. They would work together and bring the elves home safely.

ooOoo

"You want me to what?" Belegwen questioned, looking between the two elves who had unyielding expressions.

"Take the nights off Belegwen. Spend them with your son." Gilhoth said, his arms folded and a look of stubbornness adorning his face. "Rumil and I will share the night shifts every night so you can bond with your little one."

"But I can take some night shifts," Belegwen argued, annoyed that they would try and deny her duty. Moreover, she felt as if her worst fear was coming to life before her eyes: her being ousted from her position because she was a naneth now. She looked between the two of them and felt put out when neither of their expressions changed.

"Belegwen, soldiers have been holding Halendil all day long while you led us. You have only seen your son a handful of times today, mostly when he needed fed and then that one time he got rather fussy." Rumil said with an eyebrow cocked up in a surprisingly Haldir-like way. "He needs to see more of you than that. We both want to give you this reprieve; please take it for your son's sake."

Taking a few breaths to calm down, Belegwen tried to see the situation from their perspective. Rumil wanted her to bond with her son, as Haldir was not available to do so right now. Gilhoth, on the other hand, was a parent himself and probably had the best idea of what actually needed to happen between a mother and her elfling. No one was asking her to step down; they were both just trying to help.

"If you insist, I will. However, if something happens during the night, you will wake me up for it." She stated adamantly. Both elves nodded in agreement with her concession and so she went on her way to go and find little Halendil amongst the elves, trying her best to put what just happened out of her mind.

It did not take long to find him, as Belegwen heard a soft voice singing a lullaby and quickly followed it until she found young Linros cradling Halendil with only one arm, as his other was in a sling, tied to his body. The young warden was sitting cross-legged in front of one of the fires, his face illuminated in the light as he sang to her little one with a light, pleasant voice. His eyes were glued to the elfling as he rocked him slowly.

Belegwen smiled at the sweet sight and sat on her knees beside him as he finished up the song. When the song was over, Linros looked over at her with a smile and said, "Halendil is a most welcome companion during these moments of darkness. He has brought me a touch of happiness on this sad night and I am very grateful for it. You may take him from me when you are ready; I will not be able to help you unfortunately, as I currently cannot move my other arm."

"I can get him from here." She said, then nodded at Linros and used both of her hands to scoop up Halendil; he was easily transfered into her arms. She cuddled the little one next to her chest immediately, finding that he was fast asleep from Linros' efforts. "I appreciate you helping out with him Linros. Thank you."

"Oh, it was no trouble at all," he replied with a grin. "I always wanted a little brother, but I do not think my parents plan to have anymore elflings. With your permission, I would like to treat Halendil as if he was my younger brother. After all, I pledged to be an adar to him, but I am awfully young for that particular title—being an older brother would be much more appropriate for me. Besides, Halendil will need someone to play with as he grows up and I think I would enjoy that task very much."

"You are more than welcome to consider Halendil your younger brother Linros," Belegwen replied warmly, surprised that such a young elf would take an interest in her son. "I am sure he would love to have someone to run around with as he gets older."

Linros smiled again, but it only lasted a second before his face darkened with sadness. "I fear I shall need the companionship just as much as Halendil. Now that Kirnen has passed into the halls, I may become lonely." He explained, as his voice grew full of emotion.

"He was my closest friend. I grew up with him constantly by my side and now he is gone." The young elf whispered, a tear gleaming in his eye in the firelight. Belegwen frowned as she saw a look of hurt and hopelessness wash over young Linros' face. Quickly, the youngling wiped a tear away from one of his eyes, refusing to meet Belegwen's gaze as he dealt with his feelings as best he could.

"I am sorry for your loss." Belegwen said softly. She felt chills pass through her as she remembered Kirnen's death from the visual of the battle she received from Heledhril. It had been a gruesome, tragic death and Belegwen silently mourned for the young warden as well, tightly clinging to her son for comfort. "It is never easy to say goodbye to a loved one."

"No, it is not." He whispered after a brief silence, his eyes looking haunted as he stared into the glow of the fire. Belegwen felt unsettled and miserable. Far too many elves had passed away in the battle, changing the lives of their families and friends forever. It was hard to wrap one's head around the pain of it all.

"I am responsible for what Erthalion did to you." Linros suddenly admitted, looking down in shame. "It is all my fault that he stabbed you and made you birth your son too early. I am so sorry Marchwarden. I failed you."

Belegwen became perplexed she stared at the look of disgrace on the young warden's face. "Why do you think it is your fault Linros?" She questioned calmly, confused about what had made the youngling think of himself thusly.

"Because…" He started, letting out a small sob before hiding his face from her by looking in the other direction. "Marchwarden Haldir assigned Kirnen and I to watch Erthalion during the battle and keep him away from you. Neither of us was able to complete the task though. He ran away from Kirnen when he was under attack and then he stabbed me when I tried to keep him from approaching you." He said, wiping his tears away before turning to her again and pointing to his shoulder. His expression was one of absolute misery.

Breathing in deeply, Belegwen braced herself before broaching the topic; she was not pleased to be addressing it. The young warden needed to hear about it though, so she decided to address the issue immediately. "Linros," she said in a stern voice, full of the authority she had earned over the last year. When she could tell he was fully paying attention to him, she continued.

"I will only say this once, so listen and listen well. You are in no way, shape, or form responsible for the actions of that elf. Erthalion is the only one responsible for his actions. It was he who chose to err, acting on his jealousy by seeking revenge in the only way he knew how. It is no one's fault but his own. Do not take his guilt as if it were yours. There is enough to mourn over now without adding on more pain that is not even pertinent."

"But it was my duty to protect you and I failed!" He exclaimed, the pain of his failure evident on his face. "When I tried to keep him away from you, he stabbed me and I was in too much pain to follow him! You and this elfling could have been killed!"

"We were not though and you stayed with him as long as you were able. That is all anyone would ever ask of you Linros. It is done now and Erthalion is dead, so it is time to let go of your guilt. I will not hold this against you because you did nothing wrong." She explained, quickly looking down at Halendil when she heard a small cry escape the newborn's lips. "Now, let go of this and get some rest. We have a long journey ahead of us."

"Yes Marchwarden," Belegwen heard him reply as she stood up, trying to rock her little elfling as she started to walk through the camp. His cries grew more persistent though, telling her that he was once again hungry. Belegwen found herself hurrying back to the healing cart to tend to the newborn's needs and visit Haldir.

Upon arriving, she found that Linedhel was gone, possibly out tending to the many wounded who were being toted home in the carts. Working speedily to soothe her elfling, Belegwen planted herself in a sitting position next to where Haldir was lying and lifted her shirt to feed the youngling. Indeed, Halendil was immediately calmed, his cries being replaced with suckling noises as he enjoyed his meal. Breathing a sigh of relief, Belegwen tried to relax and lean up against the cabinets while he ate.

After a while, her eyes fell on Haldir. She studied his sleeping form, noticing that someone had cleaned him up a little bit since last she saw him. His skin was no longer covered in orc blood, though she could still see some caked in his golden hair. As far as she could tell, Haldir appeared to be in a relatively peaceful state. His chest continued to move up and down, much to her relief. When she touched him, she found that his skin was still warm.

"Are you ready to meet your ada?" She asked Halendil when he let go of her breast. "He is here—he will hold you now."

And indeed, she saw to it that he did. Once Belegwen pulled down her shirt, she contorted Haldir's arm to accommodate the newborn elfling and set his sleeping body down in the space she made. She held Haldir's arm in place to ensure the little one would not fall, stroking Haldir's hand lovingly all the while. She admired how Halendil looked while cradled in between her husband's muscular arm and his body. Belegwen found it rather endearing to see Haldir's strong form holding the helpless little elfling as he slept.

"You are holding your son for the first time Haldir," she murmured quietly in his ear, hoping that somehow he might realize what was happening and wake up to enjoy the moment. "He is two days old now. I have named him after you. He is called Halendil and he already looks a lot like you."

Belegwen waited and waited, hoping to receive some sort of response from him. She tried not to feel discouraged when Haldir did not wake up, but instead resigned herself to trying to rouse him with the elfling every night until he finally did awaken. She knew he was very excited about the birth of the youngling. Surely he would wake up and meet his son soon.

"We both love you Haldir and will be waiting for you when you finally awaken." Belegwen assured him as she snuggled up next to his strong arm and promptly fell asleep.

ooOoo

Over the next month, Belegwen found herself falling into a strict schedule. She would lead the marches all day long, tracking where the elves had been and looking for any possible signs of danger along the trail back to Lothlorien.

All the walking she was doing had helped her body recover from the birth quickly and she found that her sword belt fit around her waist again, albeit tightly. It was comforting to be able to wear Nimrodel once more and Belegwen felt more like herself with her trusty sword by her side.

Both Gilhoth and Rumil were always with her, one of them ready to take the lead at all times when Halendil was in need of her. Rumil had also proven to be very helpful with the newborn, making himself useful by cleaning and changing diapers frequently, as well as always finding time in his day to hold his darling nephew.

Belegwen enjoyed watching Rumil dote on her son; he often sang and told stories to the little one and was surprisingly gentle with him, always appearing a bit worried about hurting the little one when he received him. Halendil usually put his full attention on Rumil when he was in his arms and had taken to smiling at his uncle, which Rumil bragged about every night to anyone who would listen.

No one seemed annoyed by hearing about the elfling regularly. In fact, many elves were interested in how Halendil was faring and would often ask Belegwen or Rumil about him after a long day of marching. Belegwen was surprised by how many soldiers truly seemed to care about what happened to the little one.

There also never seemed to be a shortage of soldiers who were willing to hold him during the day. Belegwen found herself fascinated with the way these hardened warriors would show a very different side of themselves around her son. She saw many of them in a new light for the very first time—not as wardens, but as fathers, uncles, brothers, and friends. All who had made the pledge at Helm's Deep treated Halendil as if he was their very own son and Belegwen soon discovered there was little to worry about during the day, as no one in their ranks was going to allow Haldir's son to want for anything.

Belegwen had overheard many of the soldiers speaking to Halendil and was always interested to find out what they were telling him. Bragolith always spoke to her son about his misadventures with Haldir and all the laps they earned for disobeying Marchwarden Annondel back in the day. She had heard several of the soldiers telling him their favorite memories of Haldir and about what made him such a good leader. Some told stories from the first and second ages to the youngling, who was a fairly attentive listener. Others sang the most beautiful songs to him or spent time naming things around them so the littlest warden would learn.

Then there was Linros, who seemed to get a hold of the elfling at some point during each day. Linros seemed to have the most interesting of conversations with Halendil. So far, Belegwen had overheard him telling her son about ways to annoy Lord Celeborn when he was in his private study, how to pull a variety of pranks in the dining room, and how to best flirt with ellyth. That last topic had been a bit over the top, but when Belegwen had seen the animated looks and joyous smile on the young warden's face as he spoke, she decided to let it slide.

Indeed, Halendil seemed to be a light in the darkness amongst the elves in their camp. The mood was mostly somber during their journey home, with many elves mourning the loss of loved ones or suffering from the pain of injuries. There was something about Halendil though. He seemed to brighten the mood of most anyone with a mere smile or glance.

At night, Belegwen would walk amongst the ranks until she located her son. She would then take the little elfling to the healing cart and nurse him, then rest him in the crook of Haldir's arm for the duration of the night. All the while, she would talk to Haldir about whatever happened to pass through her mind. Many times she would try to coax him to wake up; occasionally she would attempt to use her spirit and further heal him, though it had not made much of a dent in his extensive injuries. When she was ready to go to sleep, she would stretch out beside him and caress his head or his arm while whispering her love for him into his ear.

He never responded to her though. The longer he laid there silently, the more concerned Belegwen became. She could not even see him within her mind's eye, as there was now a massive wall separating the two of them from each other. Belegwen had not put up the wall this time, so she knew it must have been his choice to have it there. Belegwen did not know why he wanted it there. It frustrated her, as she missed him and desperately wished to speak with him again.

One night when she was particularly overwrought by the situation, Rumil had joined her in the cart and held her while she cried over his sleeping state. When she had finally calmed, he sat with her, braiding her hair and listening to her concerns.

"I… I just thought he would be awake by now Rumil," Belegwen moaned softly, wiping away the remainder of her tears. "What if he does not wake up after all? What if he is not strong enough to recover from this?"

"It's just taking a while Belegwen. His injuries are so severe that he passed away from them. It is going to take a long time for him to recover. We must be patient with him." Rumil said as he braided piece after piece of her silver hair into an intricate pattern atop her head, leaving as much as possible hanging down her back, as was the preference of the elves.

"Did I bring him back just to watch him suffer and waste away?" She whispered.

"Belegwen, no." She heard him answer firmly, stopping what he was doing in her hair to lean over and look her in the eyes. He was furrowing his eyebrows in dismay at her response as he watched her warily. "Haldir is strong enough to survive this. Wait and see—he will be back to normal before you know it."

Still, Belegwen could not seem to quit worrying about him. Rumil must have been able to tell because he told her to go and take a walk through the ranks on her own that night, offering to watch Haldir and Halendil for a while in her stead while she pulled her thoughts back together. Knowing deep down that she probably did need a break and a few minutes to process through all that happened on her own, Belegwen headed out under the starlit sky.

She studied the soldiers as she walked through the camp. Those who formed the circle around them as guards seemed to be as alert as ever, watching for any signs of movement in the tall grasses of the flatlands. Belegwen saw no suspicious activity and was comforted that everything was under control, even without her taking a shift on the watch. Gilhoth had become more and more confident with every passing day. The lessons that she bestowed upon him seemed to be helping him step into his new role. Belegwen was pleased with his progress and how easily he seemed to fit into his new position as marchwarden.

The soldiers who were inside the circle were mostly sleeping. Many were laying near the numerous campfires, their porcelain faces illuminated in the orange glow of the flames as they slept upon their balled-up capes. A few were still sitting up, either studying the stars or whispering quietly amongst themselves.

On the edge of the camp, Belegwen spied a few elves quietly burying one of their own who had passed away from his injuries. Two of the three elves were singing a lament in his honor. Belegwen joined them quietly, making the duet a trio and then said a few words to honor his noble sacrifice before they lowered him into his final resting place. Belegwen stayed for a few more minutes, holding back her tears as she watched them work.

Feeling more miserable now than when she had left Haldir, Belegwen restlessly continued to wander the camp. Her eyes now stared up at the heavens, noting the navy blue color of the galaxy swirling around some of the stars, while others were encased in total blackness. She found herself praying once more to Eru Iluvatar in her mind. _"Please heal Haldir and allow him to wake up soon. Please do not allow him to suffer here needlessly. Please bring him back to me... Please."_

After a while, she found herself stopped in front of one of the carts holding several of the injured. Belegwen frowned as her eyes looked over each soldier's dismal state. Most of them were sleeping, except for Heledhril.

Oh Heledhril.

Belegwen calmly walked over to the other side of the cart to inspect the mysterious elf. She had heard from Linedhel that he was still in a bad way; he had eaten little on their journey and it showed. The young warrior who had once been healthy looked gaunt, in addition to the unnatural, pallid tone of his skin.

From what Linedhel had told her, he had not said a word to him or anyone else since the battle and would barely move. Even the most basic of bodily functions, such as eating and relieving himself had become a chore he could barely complete.

To sum it all up, Heledhril seemed to be fading. Belegwen had asked Linedhel if there was anything that could be done for him in this state, but he had told her they could only make him comfortable and wait to see if he came out of it or not. It was rare that elves did though. Once they were far enough down the path of fading, it was hard for them to return to their normal selves.

Frowning upon seeing him this way, Belegwen gently placed her hand on his shoulder and asked him quietly, "Heledhril, my friend… What has happened to you?"

She watched as Heledhril's eyes met her own briefly before growing distant once again. He said nothing, his body remaining still even when she gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Can you hear me Heledhril?" She asked a touch louder this time, trying to garner some sort of response from the faded elf.

When he did not answer her second question, Belegwen placed her hand on top of his to try and give him some sense of comfort, only to notice something odd. Though she could see nothing on his hand, it felt as though there was something small and hard on his pinky finger. Upon reaching out to touch it, she was shocked to feel Heledhril's cold hand grab her firmly.

Immediately, her eyes met his. His mouth emitted one unyielding word. "No."

Stunned, Belegwen gasped as she stepped back and stared at the serious elf's face with her wide, blue eyes. His hand slid off of hers and fell to the floor of the cart with a light thud. His eyes grew distant all over again. Belegwen was alarmed by what had just happened. She watched as he breathed and stared up at the stars, as unmoving as the dead.

The air around her swirled and crackled. Suddenly, Belegwen found herself swept into her mind's eye without warning. There stood Heledhril, facing the wall Haldir had constructed within her mind. Power radiated from the younger warden's being, energizing the air that surrounded her. Though he did not acknowledge her, Belegwen knew he was aware of her presence.

_"_ _You survived."_ He stated as he stared at the wall. _"I did not think you would after what Erthalion did to you."_

Belegwen nodded, though he could not see it. _"Yes, I did."_

_"_ _What of the elfling?"_ He asked, still facing the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

_"_ _He is well. I birthed him during the battle and he arrived without injury."_ Belegwen replied, feeling a bit uncertain about talking to him after all he had revealed to her during the battle. Belegwen slowly forced herself to approach Heledhril and tried to rest her hand on his shoulder. However, he shrugged away from her touch and walked away from her, never once letting her see his face.

_"_ _What about you? Are you well?"_ She asked, a look of worry passing over her face as he walked away from her.

He shook his head, expelling air loudly from his nostrils before hanging his head in defeat. _"No, I am not well."_ He whispered almost inaudibly. _"I am burdened, my soul is stretched thin from that which I carry; I speak of that which you found on my person, of course, mere moments ago."_

_"_ _And what did I find?"_ Belegwen pried, pushing for an answer she could tell he did not want to give her.

_"_ _The power of Lothlorien,"_ he said with no little amount of awe laced into his voice. _"That which belongs to the lady. She has entrusted it to me."_

Shock reigned supreme over Belegwen's face as she realized precisely what Heledhril carried. What danger their home must be in, for that which kept it safe was here, in Heledhril's hands! What danger they were in for carrying such precious cargo out in the open, where it could fall prey to anything!

Belegwen started to panic, not knowing how to digest this new information. Her alarm only increased when Heledhril finally turned around to look at her. The elf she had tutored for nearly half a year was now only a shadow of his former self. His body appeared weak and his face was emaciated. Dark circles were prominent underneath his eyes and the joy that once filled his countenance was completely spent.

_"_ _Hear me and hear me well,"_ Heledhril started, grabbing her hands for emphasis. _"You must never touch it or take it off me. Very few can handle the power it contains and it will consume you if you are not worthy of it. I do not wish that upon you or anyone else in our party."_

Heledhril grasped her hands even more tightly as he continued. _"No one can know I have this Belegwen. If we speak of it aloud, Sauron might find out and try to attack the golden wood while it is vulnerable. You must promise me you will tell no one, not even Gilhoth or Rumil. Promise me now Belegwen."_ He insisted, squeezing her hands so tightly that it almost hurt.

_"_ _I promise,"_ Belegwen said, uncertain of what else to do in this situation.

_"_ _You have seen my body and you know I fade,"_ he continued on, looking surprisingly calm for the dark topic he was broaching. _"If I should pass, you must leave it on my finger and bring my body back to Lothlorien. Only the lady should remove it from me. Will you do this?"_

_"_ _Yes,"_ she whispered, her eyes crinkling up in pain at the thought of the elf in front of her fading. _"I do not understand though, what is making you fade?"_

_"_ _Did you not see what I did?"_ Heledhril asked rather forcefully. _"I killed Erthalion! I am a murderer!"_

Deep pain embedded itself in Belegwen's chest. She nearly found it unbearable to listen to his confession because of the audible pain in his voice. _"You are no murderer Heledhril,"_ she countered after a moment. _"You are a hero! You saved my life from an elf who was trying to murder me! Do not take the blame for his evil!"_ She argued.

_"_ _I did not need to kill him to save you though! I was only trying to cut off his sword hand, but before I realized it, he was impaled upon my sword! I do not even understand how it happened! I normally have such control over my sword, but somehow… Somehow I stabbed him! It was not even what I intended to do! He was my friend, Belegwen, and a fellow elf! What have I done?! What have I done?!"_ He sobbed, appearing to be haunted by the words that were flying quickly from his mouth.

She watched as Heledhril fell to his knees, completely overwhelmed by the grief he had endured. Belegwen dropped to her knees beside him and went to pull him into an embrace, only to feel his hands push her away from him. _"No! Stay away! I do not wish to be seen this way!"_ He cried out. The air popped with energy around her and the wind picked up suddenly. A loud crack rang out loudly, causing Belegwen to cover her ears.

With a blink, Belegwen was no longer in her mind's eye and was staring at Heledhril's motionless body once again. He appeared unmoved since she last looked upon his form in the cart. The pupils of his eyes were trained on her though. All-seeing, they stared into her very soul.

Belegwen swallowed and stepped forward once more. Gingerly, she put her hand back on his shoulder. Her fingers shook with fear, but when she spoke her words came out sounding controlled and calm as the marchwarden within her took over the task.

"I will do as you ask. You have my word."

Then she returned to Haldir, Rumil, and Halendil in the healing cart, feeling much more on edge than she had when she left.

ooOoo

Six days later, it finally happened.

The timing had caught the elves by surprise, as most orcs preferred to only attack during the night. Though orcs were often stupid in their actions, these cretins had chosen their time well. The elves had just stopped for the night and the sun was still setting in the horizon when it happened. They had only partially formed the protective watch circle around the camp when the orcs started to pour into their midst from the forest's edge.

Belegwen had been discussing the final leg of their journey home with Gilhoth when Rumil had announced the attack with whistle. Both had immediately rushed to the front lines along with all of the other elves that were physically able to fight.

"Keep them out of the camp! Defend the injured!" She cried out, quickly scanning the area to try and find Halendil. She was uncertain who currently had him and felt as if her heart might explode within her chest from fear. Desperate to find her elfling, she took up Nimrodel and cut down orc after orc while searching for him. She shouted his name several times, but could not locate him.

"Rumil!" Belegwen screamed as he came into view, slashing his sword at a screaming orc who was trying to impale him with a jagged metal spear. "Do you know who had Halendil?! I cannot find him!"

She watched as Rumil dove between the orc's legs, effectively pulling him to the ground before spinning around and impaling him through his back. "I last saw him with Linros!" He shouted, already on his feet and racing towards another orc who was approaching, his sword raised and ready for action.

"Linros!" Belegwen screamed as she panicked, whirling around to try and catch sight of the youngest warden. "LINROS!"

Belegwen ran all around the outside of the camp, looking desperately for Linros and her son, but could not find either of them. Shouting her frustrations out loud, Belegwen took all of her pent-up emotions out on the orcs, slashing and stabbing them as she ran around looking for any possible clue that might lead her to Linros and her son.

"Linros!" She yelled over and over again, driven to distraction by his absence. Miraculously, she still managed to catch sight of a much larger problem that was starting to occur at the medical cart. "NO!"

An orc was starting to pull Haldir out of the healer's cart by his foot while Linedhel, with his sword clumsily in hand, was trying to haphazardly keep him at bay. Belegwen saw red and immediately charged towards the orc, deftly darting around other elves and orcs who were fighting around her.

Sprinting with Nimrodel in hand, Belegwen screamed as she pushed the orc off of her husband and then tackled him to the ground violently. This orc, however, was not easily hampered and used Belegwen's momentum to throw himself on top of her. Belegwen gasped as Nimrodel went flying out of her hand.

The orc punched her in the face once he was on top, then leaned in low, getting close to Belegwen's ear. The heated stench of his breath and the yellow glow of his eyes immediately brought Belegwen back to Helm's Deep, where she was trapped in the strong clutches of the problematic uruk-hai…

_"_ _I killed your husband…"_

_Belegwen saw the large uruk-hai she was fighting bringing his weapon down forcefully onto Haldir's back. Haldir's head lifted to sky and he hollered out in pain as a large sword crushed into his back. The rain poured down around him as he was brought to his knees, looking around in confusion at the elves, men, and orcs he was about to join in death. He then fell backwards, his eyes unseeing and glossy in death._

_The fiery orange eye flashed before Belegwen's eyes._

_"…_ _and now, I will kill you."_

Belegwen screamed as she relived the painful memory. She watched as the uruk-hai from her vision tried to stab her. She was faster than him though. Belegwen's stealth knife plunged its way into his heart before he was able to lower his own knife into her chest.

It was not enough though. The uruk-hai had killed Haldir! A bloody battle-axe was on the ground next the dead uruk-hai. Unwilling to let her husband's death go unpunished, Belegwen grabbed up the axe and impaled the uruk-hai with it once and then again. The axe was heavy and hard to lift above her head, but still she persisted, mutilating his dead body with every blow to pay him back for the pain he had caused her. She screamed like an animal, unaware of her surroundings as she struck him again and again and again.

"Belegwen! Stop!" A demanding voice called out to her as she pulled the axe from the carcass once again and raised it above her head. "Stop it! He's already dead!"

She landed one more blow before two strong hands grabbed her arms and pulled her away from the uruk-hai. "Belegwen, it is time to stop! He is dead!"

"He killed Haldir! He deserves to die!" She exclaimed, blinded by the rage Haldir's death had brought on.

The arms shook her a bit and Belegwen finally looked and truly saw who was holding her. It was Rumil and his eyes were filled with concern. "Belegwen, these are not the orcs from Helm's Deep! Haldir is still alive, remember?"

And then she did. She remembered plunging her sword into the uruk-hai's neck after he was distracted by Heledhril's power. She remembered crying over Haldir's body and then creating a loop of healing power between them to revive him. She remembered all the nights she had spent watching him breathe as he slept and slowly healed from his debilitating wound.

She gasped as she looked down and saw what she had done. Belegwen had not been fighting the uruk-hai again as her mind had led her to believe, but instead had completely mutilated the orc who had tried to pull Haldir out of the cart by his foot. She had hit him so many times with the axe that he was nearly unrecognizable.

"Oh dear Vala, I am sorry Rumil… I am sorry…" She murmured over and over again, her hands covering her mouth with shock as she backed away from what was left of the orc. She had completely lost all of her bearings during the battle and she knew it. Uninvited tears poured out of her eyes as Rumil carefully pulled her shaking form into his arms and stroked her hair.

"You are safe gwathel. The battle is over now." He whispered, holding her tightly. "Did you ever find Linros and Halendil?"

"No," she whimpered in an unusually high voice. "I could not find them anywhere! My elfling is missing!"

"We are right here Belegwen," a soft voice said. Straight away, Belegwen pulled away from Rumil and started searching the area for Linros, whose voice was familiar enough that she had recognized it when he spoke. After a few panic-filled seconds, Belegwen gasped as she saw him carefully crawling out from under the healing cart with her elfling cradled in his good arm. He had apparently hidden with Halendil in her old hiding spot, tucked tightly above the axle of the healing cart.

"Halendil!" She exclaimed, running to Linros as he slowly stood up while doing his best to balance the elfling in his good arm. Belegwen grabbed up her son and frantically inspected him. Finding nothing wrong, she held him tightly and cried tears of relief. She breathed in his sweet newborn scent and her whole body shook with sobs.

The little one was safe. Praise the Valar!

ooOoo

After a few more weeks of weary traveling, the dour ranks could finally see the borders of their land ahead of them. This changed the emotions of the soldiers in both positive and negative ways. Some rejoiced, happy to finally be arriving home once more, while others became more distant, as they knew they would have to finally face the reality of returning home without their best friends and loved ones. Many elves became morbidly quiet, not speaking at all as they camped out for one final night before they were slated to arrive back in the familiar forest of mellyrn.

It was a silent, somber night. Belegwen was relieved to be getting back, as she was tired of how closely Rumil had been watching her. Ever since she had decapitated the orc, Belegwen had been acutely aware of how often Rumil was watching her. She knew her brother was concerned about her, but she also wanted to move on from the incidient and it was hard to do that when he was constantly watching everything she did.

Yearning for privacy, Belegwen slept little on their final night away, acutely aware of how Rumil had come to check on her several times during the night while she tried to sleep next to Haldir and Halendil. Haldir still had not woken up, much to Belegwen's displeasure. It was looking more and more like she would have to face the trial over the kiss without him by her side and Belegwen was not looking forward to it. While Haldir had been fairly confident about the outcome of the trial, Belegwen was not and spent her night frightened about losing her position once more.

Morning finally arrived and Belegwen was quick to arrange the ranks for the last leg of the march. Before leaving, she quickly handed Halendil off to Linros, who was once again eager to hold and talk to the youngling. Their entire day was spent marching towards the golden wood. Belegwen was deep in thought the entire time, mentally bracing herself for task that awaited her upon her arrival.

She found herself saddened at what she saw as they drew closer to their home. The trees did not sparkle as she remembered, but instead looked surprisingly dull in the light of the sun. The leaves looked droopy and almost wilted. There had always been a magic lilting around their land that no longer seemed to be present.

Seeing this reminded her of what Heledhril had told her with her mind's eye almost a month ago…

_"_ _The power of Lothlorien… that which belongs to the lady. She has entrusted it to me."_

The absence of the lady's power upon the land was obvious now and not just to her. While they normally marched in complete silence, Belegwen could hear the concerned whispers of many within the ranks as they all studied the changes their home had went through in their absence.

It was nearing twilight when they finally reached the border. A group of wardens descended from the trees to acknowledge their arrival. They formed a wide tunnel for the ranks to pass through as they walked back into the familiar protection of the forest. Every single warden they passed held their hand upon their heart out of respect as they entered.

Though it was nearly dark, tonight they would not stop until they had reached the city. Belegwen felt both relieved and nervous as she followed the familiar, unmarked path that led the way back to Caras Galadhon. With Gilhoth to her left and Rumil to her right, she led the ranks silently towards the city, pressing onward even as darkness descended upon the forest.

As they made their way through the forest, Belegwen noticed that the mellyrn seemed to be perking up and shining more as they walked the forest pathway. Magic flittered through the wood once again and the branches of the silver-leafed mellyrn literally seemed to lean towards them a bit, as if they recognized the source of their power had returned. Seeing things look a bit more normal seemed to calm many of the soldiers who had initially been worried about the changes to the forest. Their frantic whispers eventually died down and gave way to silence.

After a few hours, they arrived at the city gates. The sentinels pulled the gates open and saluted them as they stepped into the city for the first time in months. The soldiers were greeted by the illuminated faces of numerous families, each waiting nervously while hoping to catch a glimpse of their loved ones arriving home. They each held a candle in their hand to signify the life of the soldier they were waiting on, creating a golden glow in the clearing.

Many would be disappointed, Belegwen thought to herself as she scanned the crowd. Many would cry on this night as she and Gilhoth delivered the bad news to them as gently as possible. Rumil, on the other hand, had been tasked with seeing to Halendil during the ceremony, so as to not burden any of the other soldiers who were eagerly awaiting the presence of their loved ones.

At once, Belegwen caught sight of the lord and lady, both dressed in brilliant white silk that glowed in the candlelight. Lady Galadriel was resplendent, as always, and a brilliant white light flowed from her into the crowd. Lord Celeborn smiled upon seeing Belegwen. He was holding a lit candle as well, signifying her life. Upon meeting her eyes, he threw tradition to the wind and, after handing the candle off to his wife, quickly walked up to Belegwen and drew her into a tight embrace.

"You have returned! Praise Eru Iluvatar!" He murmured against her forehead as he held her tightly in his arms. "Praise the Valar! I was so worried!"

"I am glad to see you again, my lord." Belegwen replied, returning the embrace in full as she rested her head on his shoulder. "There is much I need to share with you about what has come to pass."

"It can wait until tomorrow. Let us proceed with the ceremony now." Lord Celeborn answered, releasing her to fulfill her duty, albeit reluctantly. Already though, the ceremony was underway.

As elves entered the gates, they stopped and searched the crowd for their families. The beginnings of the ceremony were sweet, as those who survived were reunited with their loved ones. There was loud rejoicing, shouting, and running as loved ones embraced their fathers, uncles, and brothers who had returned. Their candles remained lit, signifying the continuance of their immortal lives, which would burn on for centuries to come.

"Take me to him." A familiar voice said next to her. Belegwen quickly turned to find the lady of light next to her, staring at her with an unusual expression in her eyes. Could it be? Was there really a look of fear on her face?

"Take me to Heledhril." She said, repeating herself as she too eyed the ranks that swarmed the gate. Belegwen nodded, then signaled for the lady to follow her as she approached the first cart entering the city. A small group of healers were already approaching the cart, ready to receive the wounded and bring them to the healing telain.

"He is here, my lady." Belegwen said. She watched as the healers made room for Lady Galadriel as she approached, all stopping to bow respectfully before her as she looked into the cart.

"Heledhril." She said in quiet greeting, gently reaching down to caress the emaciated soldier's cheek.

Belegwen was shocked to hear his voice answer as she came to a stop right beside the lady. "I have it yet, my lady. Here, take it." He said, pulling something off his pinky finger and offering it to Galadriel. Once it was removed, Belegwen got a quick look at the object before it disappeared once again onto the lady's hand. It was a ring, made with a delicate silver-colored band of mithril. It was inlayed with a single white stone that glowed with great power in the darkness.

It was Nenya, the Ring of Adamant.

Never in Belegwen's long life had she ever imagined she would get a glimpse of Celebrimbor's creation, as all of the rings were invisible, so long as they were worn. The ring radiated with power though, the same power Heledhril had wielded during the battle. She felt a wave of power pass through the lady and into the forest as she pushed the ring back onto her finger. Belegwen's eyes widened in awe of what the tiny ring was capable of.

"I am sorry, my lady. The burden was too great for me." She heard Heledhril whisper hoarsely, already looking worse for wear now that he removed the ring from his finger.

"Heledhril, you have single-handedly fulfilled the will of the Valar. There is no need to apologize. Your duty has been completed and you have brought honor upon yourself and the elves of this realm. Rest peacefully in that knowledge, my warden." Lady Galadriel replied. She gently touched his forehead and murmured words of healing over the young warden until he fell asleep.

Belegwen marveled at the peaceful look on his face as the healers jumped in, carefully lifting the faded warden onto a litter and carrying him away, heading in the direction of the healing telain. She watched as the other injured were lifted, one by one, in the same way and were carried off into the forest, several families following beside the litters with anxious looks adorning their faces.

When Belegwen turned back towards the crowd, she once again found herself face to face with the lady of light. Belegwen met her eyes and felt a certain amount of discomfort as the lady appeared to be studying her. What she could see, Belegwen did not know, but did ultimately feel exposed beneath her mighty gaze.

"You seek the answers to many questions, marchwarden." She stated calmly, still looking into Belegwen's eyes as if they were full of answers she wanted for herself. "You will find all of them soon. I want you to meet Celeborn and I for supper tomorrow. We will hear your full report concerning the battle and journey at that time."

"Yes, my lady. I will plan to be there." Belegwen answered, placing her hand on her chest and giving a bow of respect to her leader.

"Do bring your son along. I would like to meet Lothlorien's newest inhabitant and I am certain Lord Celeborn will be pleased to have another elfling to dote upon." She stated.

_How had she known?_ Perplexed, Belegwen simply nodded and then bowed a second time as the lady took her leave, moving back to her husband's side.

Scanning the crowd, Belegwen saw it was almost time for the hard part of the ceremony. As the last of the soldiers entered the city, many of which were from Imladris and were being swept off to guest accommodations by the service staff, Belegwen found that she was left with plethora of families who were looking around for loved ones who had not returned. This was where her duty laid. Gilhoth would join her in fulfilling this very serious responsibility.

Going first to families she knew, Belegwen approached them one by one to blow their candle out, signifying the end of an eternal life. She embraced each weeping family member and either told them how their loved one perished or about noble acts she had seen them complete during their life. Elves wailed around her, leaving the clearing without the family member they had been so desperate to see. A few went pale when she told them, starting to fade straight away upon hearing the news.

Sadness stirred in Belegwen's heart as she relayed the fates of each soldier to elf after elf, her heart broken for each and every life that was affected by their deaths. It seemed as if hours had passed when she parted ways with the final family, feeling just as broken inside as they looked as they walked away from her with a smoking candlestick. After a few minutes, she met Gilhoth's eyes as he sent his final family away. No words were spoken between them, but they bowed to one another out of deep respect and understanding of the task they had completed. Belegwen nodded at him and he went to join his own family.

Belegwen turned backwards and found Rumil, who immediately embraced her in one arm and held a softly fussing Halendil in his other. He had watched the whole thing and was in tears himself. He held her as tightly as he could while continuing to rock the little one who was letting out the tiniest of cries and whimpers.

"Are you alright?" He questioned her softly. Belegwen's only response was to shake her head no. Her own tears streamed down Rumil's chest plate as she hugged him close. They stood like that for the longest time before she finally felt able to take young Halendil from his grasp.

"My poor sweetling…" she said, her voice hoarse and ragged from weeping, "Why are you still awake?" Indeed, the elfling was usually asleep in her husband's arm by this time of night.

Ah… that's what it was. "He needs Haldir." She said to herself. "I trained him to sleep in Haldir's arm because we did not have a crib."

"Let us go find him then." Rumil suggested and the two slowly wandered through the darkened city until the healing telain came into view. Here, no one seemed to be sleeping as healer's rushed around in a frenzy, trying to tend to all of the new arrivals as best they could while reassuring families who lingered by their loved ones.

One of the apprentices was able to quickly direct Rumil to his brother and Belegwen followed him closely, holding Halendil tightly in her arms as they passed through a crowd of elves in the entryway to Eltirwen's talan. Belegwen followed Rumil into one of the familiar healing rooms to find Haldir resting comfortably in a bed, still asleep after all this time.

"Halendil has missed you tonight Haldir," she said quietly as Rumil pulled the only chair in the room up to the bed for her. Belegwen took a seat and proceeded to arrange Haldir's arm as she did every night for the elfling. She then gently rested the little one in the crux of his arm, holding her husband's arm in place to ensure the elfling did not fall.

Indeed, Haldir was precisely the elf Halendil had hoped to be with, as his cries tapered off quickly upon being set in the familiar arm of his adar. Belegwen sang to him softly, caressing his head with one hand as she watched the little one's eyes glaze over in reverie at last.

Once she was satisfied with the elfling's state, she looked over to Rumil, only to find him in reverie as well. He had sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall in the corner of the room with one arm resting around his knee and the other on the floor beside his leg that was stretched all the way out. The magical blue light of the room was dimmed and Belegwen felt herself growing tired as well in the familiar space. Soon she was also resting peacefully, with one arm holding the elfling in place, her head leaned against Haldir's middle.

When the healers found them all that way much later, they did not have the heart to wake them up and left them resting together as a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Belegwen's flashback during the battle is from Chapter 48: Evil Schemes.


	53. A Full Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AnshinDark for the kind comment! Thanks to everyone for reading and for the kudos! Enjoy the next installment!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 53: A Full Heart

_Belegwen's heart pounded more quickly than it ever had in the past. She listened to her own uneven breaths as she sat in near silence. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the door, which was barricaded with a couple of mere mops and brooms. She was tucked away in the corner of the tiny cleaning closet, though she did not feel safe there._

_Every sound she heard put more and more on edge. The unlatched talan door creaked in the wind, making her whole body tremble with fear. Her chest felt tight as she waited in the darkness._

_Her entire family was dead on the other side of the door. The smell of their blood permeated the air, as well as a disgusting stench that Belegwen could not identify. The young elleth was scared beyond all imagination and had no idea what to do._

_And so she hid._

_She hid for what felt like hours._

_While in her secret hideaway, she wondered what happened to her family while she was at school. Was she was in danger? What if the enemy that mauled her family returned? Would she die too?_

_Belegwen's safety seemed to be compromised, so she did her best not to make a sound. She sat as still as she could, trying her best to hide even the sound of her breathing so no one would know she was there._

_Eventually, she heard something. It sounded almost like quiet footsteps on the stairs. Belegwen quivered and started breathing fast, shallow breaths. She drew her knees in closer to her body as she heard the door make a louder squeaking noise before hearing nearly noiseless feet stepping inside her family's talan. Belegwen felt her entire body tense up as she saw the shadow of feet through the small gap underneath the closet door._

_A whistle rang out._

_Belegwen bit her lip to stifle the gasp that tried to escape from her mouth. More feet ascended the stairs, using much less stealth than before. She started to hear voices whispering in the room where her family was, but she could not make out what they were saying._

_Something bumped into the closet door, which caused one of the brooms to loudly fall over. The shifting of the closet's contents caused Belegwen an astounding amount of anxiety. Involuntarily, she let out a tiny whimper before she could stop herself._

_Suddenly, the room behind the door was silent once again. She watched nervously as a shadow appeared in front of the door, even though she did not hear anyone approaching. The door was jammed shut by a mop, but a few good yanks from whoever was on the other side was enough to move the mop, leaving the door slightly ajar._

_The door was only opened a crack, but Belegwen's eyes immediately caught sight of the knife that was held in front of her, gleaming in the light that abruptly streamed into her darkened nook. Scared beyond belief, she pushed her head down into her knees, trembling uncontrollably with fear. She put her arm over her head with the hopes of protecting herself from whatever foe had found her._

_She heard a loud intake of air. An unfamiliar voice announced quietly, "His elfling is here. She has survived the attack."_

_Belegwen whimpered again, then found herself peeking through her fingers to see who was there. The knife was put down immediately. Belegwen watched as it disappeared behind the ellon who had opened the closet. It was not just any ellon though, judging by the outfit he was wearing…_

_He was a warden._

_Belegwen slowly lifted her eyes up further. Her fearful gaze met his own. He had blue eyes…_

_Such familiar blue eyes._

Belegwen woke up with a gasp. She abruptly sat up and took a few deep and cleansing breaths, her heart still racing from reliving the death of her family in her dream. She inspected her surroundings only to discover that she had fallen asleep in the healing talan with Haldir. Upon looking out the window, she saw it was dark out, though it was nearly dawn. Beginnings of light were starting to turn the darkness on the horizon from black to a deep, navy blue.

Looking to her side, she found Halendil sleeping peacefully in the comfort of his ada's arm. Haldir was unmoved from when she last saw him, though the bottom of his undershirt looked rumpled where her head had rested for hours. Gently, Belegwen ran her hand down Haldir's firm abdomen a few times, smoothing the shirt back into place.

She then caught sight of Rumil, who had also fallen asleep in Haldir's room. He looked uncomfortable, still dressed in his full suit of armor as he slept. He was leaning backwards into one of the corners of the room, his blue eyes glazed over in reverie.

"Rumil?" Belegwen questioned with a lowered voice, trying her best to not wake anyone else up in the healing talan.

"Yes?" He mumbled, his eyes still unmoving, as if he had not fully woken up.

"I am going to go and rest in the warden's halls with Halendil." She whispered, quietly standing up and taking her sleeping elfling into her arms with care.

"I will come too," He muttered tiredly, then let out a quiet groan as he stretched his arms in the air. Belegwen watched as he blinked his eyes until they came back into focus before he slowly got up. Clearly, he was still exhausted from the marches.

The healing talan was still and silent as they left the room and slowly passed through the darkened hallway. The two said nothing to one another until they had fully descended the stairs and even then, there was little to be addressed.

"I cannot wait to fall asleep in my very own bed." Rumil said as they walked hazily through the city. All was quiet; not a soul was out and about yet other than them. "It will be a welcome sight after spending months on the ground."

Belegwen nodded in affirmation. "Never was a statement so true. I bet you are excited to finally get that armor off too."

"Most definitely. It is good to be home, is it not?" Rumil asked with a lazy smile.

"Indeed. It will be even sweeter when Haldir wakes up." Belegwen answered, smiling tiredly back at him. Rumil nodded in agreement as they walked up to the warden's halls. A twinge of sadness fluttered into the back of her mind though, as she thought of all the wardens who had not returned. Judging by the frown on Rumil's face, he was thinking the same thing.

The two walked steadily up the marbled steps to their rooms, each of them reveling in the familiarity of the halls that had long been their home. No one was milling about here either; the only sounds they could hear were their own footsteps as the ascended the steps.

When they had reached Rumil's room, he stopped and placed his hand on Belegwen's arm. She met his gaze and saw his concern for her. "Is there anything you need from me before I take my rest?"

Belegwen shook her head. "You have already done so much for me, gwador. Go and enjoy your soft bed. I will see you at breakfast." After receiving a kiss on the cheek from Rumil, Belegwen continued up the stairs until she reached her room.

Opening up the door, she found everything was as she remembered it. The bed was made with clean, cream-colored sheets. The tall mirror she liked to stand in front of while she attempted to do her hair was still in the corner, beside the large open balcony. Someone had even brought her armor in during the night. It was cleaned and put away; it looked as if it had been on the armor rack the entire time she was gone. Two large piles of books were haphazardly stacked beside the bed. They were training books Haldir had brought her from the library before they had been called to war. The piles were right where she had left them, awaiting her perusal.

The only new item in the room was the pile of Halendil's cloth diapers, which were washed and folded on top of the armor rack. She looked down at the little one in her arms and came to a new realization. "I have none of the things you need," she said to herself as she eyed the tattered blanket the elfling was wrapped in. There had been no clothes to dress him in for the last two months, so Halendil had stayed wrapped in the same blanket for nearly the entire trip. It has been washed several times during their journey and at this point, it looked as though it had seen better days.

"I suppose we will have to try and fix that today, my sweetling." Belegwen murmured with a smile as she looked down at Halendil and saw his big blue eyes staring back at her. He was awake now and starting to squirm a bit against her. She smiled down at her son and tickled his nose a bit with her finger until he smiled back at her.

She set him down in the middle of her bed and watched him while she shucked off all her dirty clothing and put on her cream-colored satin robe for the first time in months. The smooth fabric was delectable against her naked body and she breathed a sigh of relief once she had the belt securly tied around her body. The familiarity of the robe was soothing and Belegwen hugged herself as she rejoiced in the smallest of comforts.

Just as she was about to crawl into bed and snuggle up to Halendil, the elfling started to fuss and Belegwen ended up putting him up to her breast for a meal. Once that was complete, she found that she was much too awake to lie down and rest. Deciding to do what seemed like the next best thing, Belegwen grabbed up her soap and headed back down the stairway, heading to the bath on the ground level with Halendil in tow.

There was no line for the bath, which was good because Belegwen ended up taking quite a while. In addition to thoroughly cleaning herself, she bathed her elfling and then hurried back up the stairs in her robe to get dressed. Once the little ellon was wrapped in a clean diaper and a spare blanket she found in her room, Belegwen dressed herself as well. For the first time in months, she found herself donning one of her Galadhrim uniforms.

She was relieved it fit. Looking in the mirror, she saw that the leggings fit fine, but the tunic was a bit tight at the waist and chest. It did not look horrible though, so she decided it would be fine and went about brushing her damp locks of silver hair. When she was halfway done, a loud knock came from the other side of the door. Quickly, Belegwen finished combing her hair, grabbed up Halendil and went to answer.

It was Valtaur and an elleth Belegwen assumed must be his wife. "Good morning Marchwarden," He greeted her vibrantly, with a smile. "I am sorry to bother you so early in the morning, but my hervess and I both thought we should bring this to you quickly."

The silver-haired elleth smiled at Belegwen. "I do not believe we have met before. I am Silanna, Valtaur's wife. Valtaur and I spoke for long hours last night and he told me of your little one. Once I knew about little Halendil, all I could think about last night was how he probably had no place to sleep when you arrived home. We came hoping to remedy that." She said, then stepped backwards to Belegwen could see what was behind them.

It was a beautiful rocking cradle, made of the finest wood and fitted with a soft mattress. The sides were unique, both having metal plates attached to them that were engraved with intricate leaf patterns and scroll-like swirls. "Valtaur made this for me when we had our son, Angataur. We are not planning to have any more elflings, so we thought you might like to have it for Halendil."

"Oh my," Belegwen said, shocked at this kindness. "It is beautiful. Are you certain you want to part with it? Surely it brings back fond memories of your own son."

"Oh, we have plenty of other things to help us remember his youth. I cannot stand the idea of this little one not having a place to sleep though." Silanna said, leaning close to Belegwen to get a good look at Halendil. "May I hold him? It has been over 50 years since an elfling has come along in the golden woods and I have always loved all of these blessed little ones."

Belegwen gently handed Halendil over to Valtaur's wife, who started smiling brightly upon receiving him. She listened as Silanna set about telling Halendil how handsome and sweet he was while she held him gently in her arms.

"Thank you for the cradle. It is wonderful and I very much appreciate your thoughtfulness." Belegwen said as she watched Valtaur carry the cradle into her room and place it beside her bed.

"Oh, it is nothing. If anything, I am greatly indebted to you, Marchwarden. You have brought my Valtaur home to me and I am so thankful for you." Silanna said, her voice rising higher as her eyes filled with glistening tears. She lightly handed Halendil back to Belegwen and once again said, "Thank you very, very much Marchwarden."

After saying their goodbyes, Belegwen set Halendil in the new cradle and went about trying to braid her hair again, only to be interrupted by another knock at the door. Upon answering the door, she found Gilhoth and his wife smiling back at her with a box full of outfits their son, who had also been born early, had worn as a newborn.

Thus began a steady stream of visitors to Belegwen's little room. Several wardens and their families came by, each bringing gifts and hoping to acquaint themselves with the newest member of their city. Never had Belegwen felt such appreciation and care from so many elves. By the time Rumil came by to pick her up for a late breakfast, her little room was nearly half full of gifts.

Rumil's eyes widened in surprise when Belegwen showed him what had happened. "Oh my… I was going to offer to build you a cradle today, but I see it is no longer necessary."

"Yes… I can scarcely believe this. My room does not seem to be large enough for all of these items." Belegwen said offhandedly, looking a bit overwhelmed at the mess of gifts that littered the floor and bed. There were now three cradles, a large changing table, two rocking chairs, and a wealth of blankets, cloth diapers, and clothing of various sizes for the little one. "I am very grateful for this help, but I do not understand why they did all of this for me."

Rumil chuckled lightly as he looked at her. "Do you really not know gwathel?" He asked, his eyebrows lifted in disbelief as Belegwen looked at him with confusion written all over her face. "They are honoring their vow to you, of course."

"But Haldir lives… They do not need to any longer." She replied slowly, looking uncomfortable with his answer.

"Yet they choose to anyway, out of their love for you as a member of the Galadhrim. Would you deny them that honor?" Rumil asked quietly.

After a few moments, Belegwen shook her head no. Her heart swelled and felt unusually full as she realized the regard the wardens were showing towards her and her son. She was truly blessed to have comrades such as these.

ooOoo

Walking slowly, Belegwen followed the warden who had been summoned to bring her before the lady. Looking down into the baby wrap the women of Rohan had given her, she saw that little Halendil was resting peacefully against her as she tread carefully, so as not to wake him up. The little one was now wearing clothes for the very first time; he wore the tiniest green tunic and brown footie leggings, looking even more adorable than he had in the past.

Though the little one was safe in her arms, Belegwen grew nervous as the warden in front of her led her into a deep part of the woods where she had never before traversed. It was dark as she descended a set of stone stairs that led into a small ravine area. She had thought the lady was inviting her to supper, but apparently their plans had changed.

At the bottom of the stairway, Belegwen caught sight of the lady. Bathed in a glistening white light, she sparkled as brightly as a beacon in the night while she approached them languidly. The warden bowed respectfully to the lady before returning to the stairs to take his leave. Belegwen turned to the lady and bowed as well, carefully holding Halendil's hairless head against her bosom as she did so.

The two stood in silence for a few moments before Galadriel beckoned her forward with a small motion of her hand. The two ellyth approached a small dais with a large stone pedestal resting atop it. Galadriel walked to the other side of the pedestal and looked at Belegwen so deeply, she felt as if her emotions were fully exposed to the powerful being in front of her.

"I know what you have been trying to figure out recently, Marchwarden." Galadriel stated eerily. "You seek answers to many questions, some that you do not even know you have yet. If you so choose, many of them will be answered for you on this night." She declared, then paused.

"Will you look into my mirror?"

Belegwen felt her breath catch in her throat when she finally realized where she was. Over her thousands of years in Lothlorien, Belegwen had heard many stories about the lady's mirror. However, she had never seen it herself and had always pondered the stories about it with curiosity and no small sense of wonder. Now she was standing before it, her eyes looking upon the real thing for the very first time.

Honestly, it seemed to be the sort of object one would see in a fairytale. It was comprised of a simple, flat-bottomed bowl that was made of stone, but Belegwen knew it was much more than that. The lady of the golden wood had much magic within her, which was amplified by the ring she cared for. Belegwen knew that with her power, Lady Galadriel could command this simple dish to do her bidding whenever she desired it.

"I do seek answers, my lady. I will look if you will allow me." Belegwen answered bravely as she met the intense gaze of the powerful elleth once more. In silence, Galadriel took up a small metal pitcher and filled it with water from a shallow stream that was a few paces away. Belegwen watched as she dumped the contents of the silver pitcher into the large, shallow stone bowl upon the pedestal.

When Belegwen stepped forward, she immediately looked into the shadowy waters and simply saw her reflection. She frowned at the sight of her messy braids and waited for the magic to set in. After a few moments tiny waves appeared, moving the water gently across the bowl. They gave way to a series of images that Belegwen studied with her utmost attention…

_The first image she recognized right away, as it was one of the memories Haldir had shared with her at Helm's Deep as he passed into the halls. Belegwen first saw her younger self in the mirror. Her arm was in the sling she had to wear when she was struck in the shoulder during a skirmish on the border. She was staring at Haldir with anger burning in her eyes and then was shouting at him. Even though she could hear no words coming from the mirror, she knew all too well what she was yelling._

_"_ _No, I will never marry… Never in a thousand millennia!"_

_Waves appeared in the mirror once again, blurring the picture until a new scene appeared. It was Haldir pacing back and forth on the balcony of his room in the warden's halls. His hair was unbraided and looked a bit tousled, as if he had been unsettled while sleeping. The height of the full moon in the sky above the mellryn branches confirmed that it was indeed the middle of the night in the vision._

_Back and forth he paced with his arms crossed tightly over his bare chest, a look of pain and frustration adorning his pallid face. He almost looked sickly in the light reflecting off the silver leaves of the mellyrn. Another elf entered the room, though Haldir did not meet his eyes._

_It was Orophin._

_The waves picked up in the water once more to show Haldir and Marchwarden Annondel arguing and pointing at a scroll that was on his desk. The marchwarden was angry, but Haldir maintained an unreadable look on his face as he spoke. Belegwen tried to read their lips, but could not make out many words because they were not facing her in the mirror._

_Suddenly, the scroll was in Annondel's hands and Belegwen could see what it said. It was a list of training partners. Near the top of the list, she caught sight of her own name next to Haldir's name. However, the scroll was thrown back onto the desk after a moment and Belegwen watched as Annondel's feather pen scribbled out Haldir's name and traded it with another warden's so they were no longer partners._

_Once again, the waters moved of their own volition, revealing a sight that made Belegwen gasp. It was Erthalion, leading the intermediate sword class that he had once taught long ago. She watched as he looked over the group of wardens, searching for a volunteer to demonstrate with. His smile became malicious as his eyes fell upon Belegwen and she watched as he commanded for her to come up and fight him in front of the others._

_Belegwen cringed, as she knew what would happen next. She could tell by the look in Erthalion's eyes that he had chosen her because he thought he would bring her down easily. He wanted to cause a scene with her, to dismantle her in front of the other wardens._

_What he did not know at the time was how often Belegwen practiced with her sword at night. By this time in her life, she was well beyond the methods taught in the class he presented and it showed when she engaged him in front of the other wardens. Her speed and agility proved to be too much for him._

_Erthalion quickly found himself disarmed and lying on the ground with Belegwen's sword gently pressed against his neck. She watched as he surrendered, mouthing the word 'mercy' to her younger self. When she pulled the sword away from his neck and walked away, a fire ignited in his eyes. There she saw jealousy and something much darker…_

_Hatred._

_The glint in his eyes made Belegwen shiver as the waters waved yet again, drawing a familiar vision into her sight. She saw herself, standing on the platform in front of a crowd of elves, Erthalion by her side. Belegwen could not help but cringe as she saw the mottled appearance of her neck. The green, blue, and purple bruises around her neck were Erthalion's doing. A chill passed down Belegwen's spine as she remembered the day he strangled her._

_She watched as her younger self searched the crowds, looking for the elf responsible for the voices she was hearing in her head as she, the lord, and the lady all held Erthalion's hand above them towards the sky, a sign of submission before the Valar. Storm clouds rolled over the sun eerily as Belegwen had Erthalion echo her words, promising his vow before the Valar with a look of trepidation etched upon his face as he gazed into the unnaturally gloomy sky._

_As he finished his oath, Belegwen watched as a flash of power passed through him, the Valar's way of acknowledging the oath he had taken. Now that she could see the whole scene though, she noticed there was more to it than she had initially realized. Lady Galadriel also cringed, a flash of light going from Erthalion's arm straight into her own and circling one of her fingers oddly. Belegwen now saw the scene behind her, the lord and lady looking at one another in shock as they realized what the light had indicated._

_There was a third flash too. It was hardly noticeable, as most elves had their eyes on Erthalion, whose legs were giving out beneath him under the tremendous pressure of the oath. This time, Belegwen saw it. The flash went into one of the elves in the crowd and the lady met his gaze sharply after it was over._

_It was Heledhril._

_The waters flashed again before Belegwen's eyes. She saw Heledhril standing before the lady with a look of frustration glowing in his eyes. The two argued, the lady staying calm the entire time as Heledhril seemed to grow more and more agitated. His face flushed red as she indicated for him to hold out his hand._

_At first, he glared at her, but eventually he held out his hand, looking away from the tiny object she bestowed in his large palm. Nenya glistened in his palm, shining with power. He shivered as Galadriel took his fingers and curled them around the ring, her gaze never once leaving him. Her eyes were filled with trust as she let go of his hand, turning Nenya's powers over to him completely._

_With a ripple of the water, the mirror changed again and Belegwen was suddenly horrified by the sight of Erthalion stabbing her pregnant stomach during the battle. She shivered as she watched her former self scream, scared to death that her elfling was lost. Everything in the mirror slowed and the view honed in on Heledhril, who was running up to Erthalion with his sword in hand._

_She watched carefully as he lifted his sword over Erthalion. It looked as if he was about to sever Erthalion's hand from his body, but then was stopped. A bright, sparkling figure appeared next to him, grabbed his wrist and changed the motion of his sword! Instead of swinging, Heledhril ended up jabbing his sword towards Erthalion's middle! It penetrated Erthalion's armor at the weakest point, right beneath the ribs!_

_A second later, the figure was gone, leaving Heledhril staring at his sword in shock and horror, as he had not intended to run Erthalion through. Seemingly without any guidance, Nenya's power used the sword as a conduit and pushed immense power into Erthalion until he was completely obliterated._

"Oh dear Vala!" Belegwen exclaimed as she stared in disbelief and alarm at what had happened. "What was that?!"

The lady did not answer her question though and the mirror continued on, moving to the next scene. Belegwen's eyes were wide as she realized that the next scene was from the future.

_Heledhril was in cart with a few other weary looking soldiers. He appeared very much the same as he had when he journeyed back home to Lothlorien—ashen in coloring, his gaunt body was weak and unmoving. Belegwen saw herself approach and then embrace him, saying a few words and laying a familiar, leather-bound book in his hands before watching the cart roll away, exiting the city gates._

"No…" She whispered, a tear falling down her cheek as the mirror finished its magic. The waters became clear once more and now all she could see was her reflection.

"You cry for him, the keeper of your vow." Galadriel stated softly, looking at her with an unnerving amount of intensity.

"I do not understand what has happened to Heledhril." Belegwen said with desperation in her voice, hoping above all else that what she had seen was wrong. She did not want one of her most trusted wardens to have to sail because of the battle…

Because of her.

"Walk with me and I will explain." Galadriel said softly, then walked off the dais and started to ascend the stairs that led out of the ravine. Belegwen followed the lady in saddened silence, her heart hurting for her student and friend who was already no more than a mere shadow of his old self.

Once they were at the top of the stairs, the path became wide enough for them to walk side by side. Belegwen trod slowly next to Galadriel, waiting for her explanation as they started to emerge from the heavily wooded area into a clearing that housed Galadriel's rather impressive garden. As the setting sun started to stream its light onto them once more, the lady began to speak.

"In all of my long years, I have thought of myself as observant and good at reading the emotions and desires of others. However, Heledhril has always been a bit of a mystery to me. While he is of Sindarin decent, it always seemed to me as if he had a bit of Noldorin blood within him, as he was born with gifts that are not uncommon to their descendents."

"Since his youth, Heledhril has been privy to visions and dreams of the past, present, and future. He also seems to have some power over the elements, though I am uncertain to what extent those powers reach." Galadriel said, leading them towards a bench in front of several flourishing niphredil blossoms and a statue commemorating Nimrodel, Lord Amroth's wife. Once Belegwen sat down beside the lady, she continued.

"The caveat Heledhril struggles with though is that he was taught to fear such powers, rather than embrace them. When he showed signs of these amazing abilities as an elfling, it scared his parents and they spent much time convincing him to hide what he could do. It is uncommon for Sindarin elves to have talents such as these. His family did not desire to find out how to embrace his gifts, as they were an oddity to them—a source of fear. Thus, Heledhril has spent his entire life hiding his gifts, rather than using them for the good of others."

"However, powers of this nature are gifts from the Valar and are always given with purpose. Many times did I try to explain this to Heledhril after he reached his majority, but he did not listen. Many times did I try to convince him to work with me to refine his powers and learn to use them properly. He denied me every time though, instead choosing to ignore the powers that yearned to be set free and utilized. Because of this, he was ill-prepared for his task."

"His task, my lady?" Belegwen questioned, fully drawn into the story the lady was recanting.

"Do you remember the day you had Erthalion take his vow in front of the city?" Galadriel asked, looking at her once again as Belegwen nodded. "It was that day in which Heledhril was assigned a lofty task by the Valar themselves and his life was forever entwined with yours. Erthalion vowed to allow the Valar to deal with him as they pleased if he broke his vow. When he did that, Heledhril was assigned the task of enforcing their will. That is why he was struck with power upon the completion of the vow, just as Erthalion was." Galadriel explained.

"But you were too, were you not? What part were you assigned in this, my lady?" Belegwen questioned, absently rubbing Halendil's head as they spoke.

"My ring, Nenya, was also called to this task. I must admit, I was uncomfortable with the idea of parting with such treasure; one I had been called to keep safe for all of these long years. However, I am not one to question the will of the Valar. Having now seen what happened to Heledhril, I understand why they asked for me to give it to him."

At this point, Belegwen noticed that Galadriel was looking down at her hand and touching something on one of her fingers. Belegwen could not see the ring, but knew it was there, beneath her fingers as she spoke about it. "Heledhril did not have good enough control over his powers to complete the will of the Valar on his own. However, Nenya enhanced his powers and gave him the control he sorely lacked during your journey. It is what enabled him to save you multiple times. The cost to him, however, has been great."

Galadriel turned to her with sorrow in her eyes. She whispered, "The ring allowed him to wield its power, but even with all his talents, Heledhril was not strong enough to endure its prolonged usage. It has broken his spirit and he will soon be sent to the Grey Havens to sail."

Belegwen broke down and wept at this point, using her free hand to cover her eyes and keep her tears off Halendil. "He calls himself a murderer," she whispered painfully to the lady, "Why would they ask him to complete such a task, knowing it would break him? Knowing Erthalion was his friend?"

As she cried, she felt the lady's delicate hand come to rest lightly upon her shoulder. "Belegwen, it is not always our place to understand why the higher powers choose to do what they do. Rest assured that Heledhril will always be respected and commended for his actions in Lothlorien. To sacrifice one's life in protection of another is one of the purest, most unselfish acts an elf could ever aspire to; this is what Heledhril has done. His pure heart allowed him to gift you and your little one a chance at life after the battle. Heledhril did this because he took his duty seriously and because he wanted to. You are both his friend and mentor Belegwen. I imagine if you asked him, he would tell you he does not regret his actions."

Belegwen shook her head in dismay. "It should have never come to this though. The jealousy and anger Erthalion harbored towards me should have never escalated so far out of control." She said, looking down at the ground remorsefully. "If I had just sent him away, like Haldir wanted, none of this would have happened."

"Yet you chose to also protect others from Erthalion, putting yourself in harm's way to do so." Galadriel reminded her gently. "This was also a noble gesture. You are commendable in your actions too, as are most of our wardens. Perhaps you should take your own advice, that which you gave Linros on the journey home when he blamed himself for your peril."

Belegwen squeezed her eyes closed and let the lady's words wash over her. Galadriel was correct. Belegwen had given that advice to Linros, but like a hypocrite, struggled to take the same advice for herself. What had happened to Heledhril weighed down on her heavily, but really, the only one who was truly at fault for the incident was Erthalion.

After drawing in a heavy breath, Belegwen replied, "You are right of course, my lady. I will try to deal with my inner anguish and accept the truth of the situation, even though I find it displeasing."

"You would do well to Belegwen, as you have many new blessings to focus on, such as this little one." Galadriel said, indicating young Halendil, who was now stirring from his slumber. "May I hold him?"

"Of course my lady," Belegwen replied and gently handed her son into Galadriel's waiting arms. She listened to Halendil as he made a few small noises and started to squirm a bit in the lady's grasp. Galadriel simply smiled, drawing the elfling close to her face to inspect him.

After gazing at him in silence for several minutes, Galadriel softly said, "I sense he will be much like you and Haldir. He has the heart of a warrior, the commanding nature of his adar, and the inner strength of his naneth. Great things lie ahead for little Halendil Haldirion. Many great things."

Belegwen smiled at this. Her smile grew even larger though when she spotted Lord Celeborn walking down the pathway towards them, his white robes and silver hair lit up in the blazing orange light of the sunset.

"My dearest Belegwen!" He exclaimed as he came closer. When Belegwen stood up, he drew her into a tight embrace. "How wonderful it is to see you in the city once more!"

Belegwen smiled brightly and replied, "The feeling is mutual my lord."

"Is this little one I have heard so much about today?" He asked excited, eyeing Halendil with a look of joy in his eyes. "He has the whole city buzzing with excitement!"

"Yes, this is Halendil Haldirion." Belegwen said, introducing her son to the lord as he sat down beside Galadriel and leaned close to get a good look at him.

"Oh Belegwen, he is such a fine young ellon! I am certain Haldir will beam with pride when he awakens to meet this little one!"

Having been caught up in the moment, Belegwen had not realized she was discussing her son with the very person who had made the rule against her doing what she had done. Casting a suddenly nervous glance towards the elf who was like a second father to her, Belegwen quietly asked, "You are not mad at me? I have broken the warden's code. Have you not heard that you are to conduct a trial over this? The city council convened on the trip and-"

"Belegwen," Lord Celeborn interrupted, shaking his head calmly. "There is not going to be a trial over such a trivial matter. Yes, you and Haldir did break the warden's code, but that rule fulfilled its purpose long ago and has not been necessary for a long time now."

Her jaw dropped a bit as she stared at Lord Celeborn, astonished that he was being so cavalier about this serious topic. "What? But my lord…" Belegwen started, but then trailed off as she saw the humor in Celeborn's eyes while he looked at her solemnly.

"Belegwen, I know you have always strived to follow the rules in everything you have done in Lothlorien, so I am aware that you feel a consequence is necessary. Hear me out though… Do you know why the rule was put in place?" He asked her calmly.

"You did not want all the ellyn flirting with me while we were out on the border. You did not want any of us to be distracted with one another because it would have led to more evils penetrating our city." She said, shuddering as the memory of her dead family passed through her mind briefly.

"Yes, that was the biggest reason. Annondel felt certain that many of the younger, more irresponsible ellyn would not be able to resist flirting with a young elleth warden. If that had been the case, it could have left us vulnerable to many attacks. We put the rule into place to prevent that from happening and he punished those who broke it quite severely."

Belegwen nodded, remembering precisely how angry the old marchwarden had become when a couple of wardens had flirted with her on her first day. He had made an example out of them, scaring the other wardens so thoroughly that they did not have to deal with the problem again.

"You have not needed protection from such things for quite a while though, have you?" Lord Celeborn asked, though he already seemed to know the answer to his query.

"I also wanted to protect you from their improprieties on behalf of your adar, who would have also found such actions disrespectful and upsetting. You are no longer an elfling though, nor are you in need of my protections; you are both a full-grown elleth and a hardened warrior. You are respected by the wardens as their marchwarden and will probably never need to worry about inappropriate treatment such as that again."

"Furthermore," Celeborn continued, "Annondel and I made sure to word the warden's code to say that 'fraternization' and 'dalliances' were what was not allowed. I had hoped it was clear that you were still very much able to fall in love and have a serious relationship with an ellon of your choice."

"Really?" Belegwen asked with her eyebrows raised in shock. She then closed her eyes as she thought through how wrong her thinking had been for thousands of years. "I always thought… I thought I had to choose between being a warden and a wife. I did not realize I could have both." She said quietly as she continued to process this new revelation.

"That is probably my fault for not explaining it better Belegwen." He said in return, looking a bit upset with himself. "When you were younger, I had hoped you would quit being a warden and marry an ellon for your own safety, but I was also open to other possibilities. I'm afraid I did not do a good job of conveying them though." He admitted lowly.

The three then sat in silence for a little while, the only sounds coming from little Halendil, who was just starting to try and verbalize sounds. Eventually the silence was interrupted by Lord Celeborn, who chuckled to himself a bit and said, "I always thought Haldir would come and ask for permission to court you or marry you. Annondel and I both knew he loved you dearly, but I had long given up on the hope of this happening. It pleases me greatly to find out the two of you wed."

Belegwen looked between the two leaders of Lothlorien slowly, analyzing the looks on their faces before asking another question that had long lingered in her mind. "Are we indeed married? I was not sure because we did not take vows together as the elves of Lothlorien traditionally do."

"Though many elves, especially those of the third age, choose to take their vows before Eru Iluvatar, it has never been necessary to do so to wed." Galadriel chimed in. "In the previous ages, it was not uncommon for elves to wed by choosing one another as mates in their hearts and uniting their bodies, as you and Haldir have."

"My hervess speaks truly—there is a full marriage between you and Haldir now. You could not have agreed to bring an elfling into the world without loving one another fully." Celeborn explained as Galadriel handed Halendil to him very carefully. Belegwen smiled largely as the meaning of their words sank in.

"Our marriage is true then, even without the rings and vows…" She murmured, more to herself than to the others. "We are truly hervenn and hervess."

"Yes." Both Galadriel and Celeborn spoke in unison, confirming her thoughts.

"And we were married when we kissed in the forest, so it would not be a breach of the warden's code after all?" She questioned curiously.

"Yes." They both replied together.

"Now you understand fully, my dear, and it makes me glad. I was also glad to see the regard the other wardens now hold for you. Did you know that I have had more than 50 visitors today, each one coming to tell me that they did not think your trial was fair? Wardens have been popping into my office all day to tell me they want you to continue serving as a marchwarden of Lorien." Celeborn said, his eyes glistening with joy as he looked between her and little Halendil, who was gripping his pointer finger tightly as he cooed.

"Really? They have done that for me?" Belegwen asked, astonished. Just when she felt her heart could not be any more full, she nearly felt time stop around her as this new piece of information penetrated her protective walls, deeply affecting her very soul.

The lord and lady both smiled and nodded in response, watching as numerous emotions passed over Belegwen's face in response to the news. Belegwen felt overwhelmed by the devotion the soldiers had shown her over and over again during the last few months. "I cannot believe they have done such things for me." She whispered, wiping at her eyes to try and prevent the moisture that had gathered there from falling.

"Is it so hard to believe that others would care for you and want the best for you?" Lord Celeborn asked, reaching out to Belegwen and taking her hand in his own. He squeezed it as he watched her, analyzing her every feeling. She nodded, saying nothing in return, but enjoying the small measure of comfort her lord was offering.

"Much growth has occurred in the Galadhrim as of late." Galadriel murmured, her voice sounding ethereal and all-knowing. "The wardens have grown to accept you as you are, just like Haldir did all those years ago."

"Gone is the shy elleth who let the wardens say and do as they pleased because she feared losing her warden status. My darling Belegwen, you have grown into your title! I see a formidable marchwarden standing before me now." Celeborn said, squeezing her hand once more. "If only your adar could see you now. How proud he would be of all that you have become."

Smiling and looking up at the sky with hope in her eyes, Belegwen remembered what her adar had said to her when she had faded at Helm's Deep.

_"Ada, will I ever live up to your name?" She asked faintly._

_"Worry not, my darling Belegwen," his voice reassured her, "You already have."_

Clinging to the words of her adar, as well as lord and lady's reassurances, Belegwen acknowledged that her heart was very full indeed.


	54. Awakenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I'm glad so many people are enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 54: Awakenings

It was two days later that Belegwen approached the medical telain. A horse-drawn cart had been pulled into the avenue and was being carefully loaded with the limp bodies of soldiers who were being sent to the Grey Havens. There were a total of five soldiers who had faded significantly on the journey home and the lord and lady were making haste to send them to Valinor before their spirits passed into the Halls of Mandos.

The mood of the morning was sorrowful, as many family members were lingering around the cart to bid their loved ones an unexpected farewell. There were many tears on the faces of dejected elves unready to say goodbye to the ones they had spent several millennia alongside. The silence of the healers and the downcast look in their eyes told Belegwen of their personal frustration concerning the matter. To them, this was a failure. It hurt the healers to be unsuccessful in treating their patients.

Though she was uncertain of what she would say, Belegwen forced herself to approach the cart, looking for one elf in particular. All the way in the corner, he was not hard to find.

Sadness filled Belegwen as she looked upon Heledhril for the last time while she was on this side of the sea. He was clearly broken beyond repair. His straw-colored hair had lost its glossiness and his skin was dull and graying. His eyes looked distant, as if they had already set sail for Valinor days ago. Heledhril's body was limp and unmoving; he was starting to acquire a gaunt look that was obvious both on his face and body from having a lack of sustenance. The very sight of him made Belegwen draw in a slow, nervous breath as she looked upon him and recalled the horrible fate he had endured.

"Heledhril?" Belegwen questioned softly. She put her arm over the cart and set her hand gently upon his shoulder, trying to gain his attention. He did not move or even look at her. She frowned as an empty feeling started to eat away at the pit of her stomach. It was terrible to see him this way; guilt started to build up inside of Belegwen once more as she stared at what was left of her student and friend.

"Heledhril?" She asked, trying again. She gave his shoulder a small shake, looking at him while hoping to see some sort of reaction that would let her know he could hear her, but there was none. "It is Belegwen. I have come to see you off."

She squeezed his shoulder, but still received no reaction. She frowned, knowing the power of Nenya was probably the reason he had been able to respond to her on the journey home. Now that he had returned his precious cargo to Lady Galadriel, he seemed so distant and appeared to be unreachable. Belegwen decided to speak to him anyway, hoping perhaps he was still in there somewhere and could hear her.

Leaning over the smooth wooden edge of the cart, Belegwen got closer to Heledhril's pointed ear and started to speak quietly to him. "I do not feel as though a simple thank you is enough to honor what you have done for me meldir, but it is all I feel I can give you now. I will forever be in your debt for the sacrifice you made on my behalf. Not only did your power save me that night, but you have also indirectly saved both my son and Haldir. I cannot even begin to say how grateful I am to you for this gift Heledhril. You have my sincerest thanks."

Belegwen squeezed his shoulder once again, then took the book resting in her other hand and placed it underneath Heledhril's hand. It laid limply over the leather-bound work, pinning it to his torso loosely. "I am giving you this as a small token of my gratitude. It is my adar's journal, which details the techniques I was teaching you. I want you to have it now. When you are feeling more like yourself, I hope you will choose to study his notes and practice all the exercises he detailed within the pages." She said softly, running a finger over the familiar, worn out leather one last time.

"I have read this so many times, I now have it memorized. It is my hope that you will continue to learn Belegond's techniques in Valinor. Study and perfect them, for I shall challenge you to a duel when we next meet in the west. I will expect to have quite the battle with you meldir. In fact, I am already looking forward to it." She surmised, a small smile sneaking onto her face as she imagined the day when she would see him whole and healthy once more.

Belegwen blinked as she finished her daydream and looked back down at Heledhril. His hand was now clutching the book tightly, as if he knew what treasure he possessed. Her smile widened as she stared down at him.

He had heard her after all.

Unable to control her joy, Belegwen ran to the front of the cart and hopped inside. She knelt down beside Heledhril and embraced the deceptively lifeless elf for a moment before looking into his dull eyes once more. "Take care of yourself meldir. Get better soon and one day, we shall duel as we did in the past. Thank you again for the blessings you have given to me and my family with your sacrifice." She murmured as he stared up at her with a blank face. "What you have done for me will never be forgotten. Never."

Belegwen gave him a final pat on the hand and, after bowing low before him as a sign of respect, climbed carefully out of the cart. She watched as a few final items were loaded before the driver climbed into his seat, grabbing the reigns and giving them a flick to goad the small team of horses into motion.

Standing beside the friends and families of several soldiers, Belegwen watched as the cart drove into the forest, hopefully to save the lives of the precious elves within. None of the waving and crying elves left the area until the cart was completely out of sight.

ooOoo

It was at this time that Belegwen began to carry out the full duties of being a marchwarden in Caras Galadhon. Much to her astonishment, the lord and lady had been quick to work out the details of her continued duty to the forest, knowing she needed to function dually as a marchwarden and a naneth.

Tinuloth, one of ladies in waiting to Galadriel, was volunteered to be a nursemaid to Halendil during the day while Belegwen focused on running training exercises and classes for the wardens while they were stationed in the city. The lord and lady had both insisted she take at least two years off from border patrol. Her absence was to last until her son was weaned and able to be watched by a family member or friend for more than a few hours without needing her assistance for feeding.

It was decided that Gilhoth, as second in command, and Rumil, as an interim marchwarden, would take turns leading patrols on the borders and would report to Belegwen with news from the front. Belegwen was also put in charge of scheduling the patrols and seeing to the comings and goings of special guests in the golden wood. There was plenty to keep her busy during the day, but she was blessed to have every night free to spend with her little one and Haldir.

For the most part, Belegwen was gladdened the lord and lady had been willing to accommodate her as a marchwarden with an elfling. They had given her everything she needed to continue doing her job. Though she missed going to the borders, she found her skills were being utilized best in the city anyway, as she seemed to have a talent for teaching swordplay and knife skills to the wardens.

Every night, she took little Halendil into Eltirwen's healing talan to rest in his adar's arm, as it was the only way to get the little one to fall asleep at night. Halendil liked the routine and Belegwen thought it good for him to spend time with his adar, even if Haldir was unable to interact with him currently. Belegwen did not want Haldir to be a stranger to the youngling when he woke up, so she consistently placed his son in his arm every single night without fail.

However, this routine also brought her sadness, as she grew more and more lonely waiting for Haldir to wake from his healing sleep. He had slept for the entire two and a half month journey home to Lothlorien. Now it had been nearly two months since they had arrived back in Caras Galadhon and still, he slept on.

Haldir was starting to miss little Halendil's milestones and it distressed Belegwen that he was not awake to enjoy them with her. Already, the little one had grown larger, looking much more like the chubby-cheeked elflings Belegwen had been accustomed to seeing around the city long ago. The youngling could also now roll over, chatter using random syllables, and had recently been trying to clap his hands.

For the sake of her little one and the safety of the forest, Belegwen forced herself to carry on as if nothing was wrong. However, when she was alone she started to feel the darkness of loneliness creeping into her life, like a slow-acting poison that was steadily taking control of her life. The façade she put on to appear okay during her training sessions seemed to fool most elves, but not Rumil. He was too close to her and knew her all too well. He watched her carefully every day, suspecting what she already knew to be a fact…

She was fading.

When Belegwen looked in the mirror, she was starting to see a mere shadow of herself. Just as she previously had when Haldir abandoned her by serving multiple border tours in a row, Belegwen was starting to pale in the face while her hair lost its trademark shine and luster. She had not thought this would be possible, as she saw Haldir in person every night. She always made a point to touch him gently, caressing his hair and face lovingly while talking to him with a soft voice, so as not to disrupt the other patients who were being treated in the talan.

Haldir never seemed to hear her though and it ate away at her soul. Belegwen needed a response, needed to speak with him once more, needed to feel his comforting presence within her mind… She needed him to be both conscious and present.

At night, as she laid down in her own bed, Belegwen found herself haunted by the echoing sounds of waves resounding loudly in her ears. Fearful of leaving Halendil to face the world alone, she took staying awake all night, as she was worried she might not wake up again if she fell into reverie. The desire to float away became greater and greater with every passing day and soon, Belegwen was struggling to resist its temptation. There was only so long she could withstand its appealing call though.

One night, her exhaustion finally caught up with her. After nursing Halendil, she fell into a deep reverie in the rocking chair next to his cradle and did not wake up when he next started to cry.

ooOoo

"Rumil? Are you there?" A young voice called from outside his door after loudly rapping on the wooden barrier. Though it was early, Rumil quickly rolled out of bed and put on a pair of leggings before answering the door. Upon opening it, he found Linros there, poised to knock on his door again.

"Rumil, I was supposed to go and pick up Halendil and watch him for Belegwen this morning, but she is not answering her door. Do you know where I might look to find her at this early hour?" He asked, looking a bit confused. Rumil was too, as it was not like Belegwen to miss plans such as these. Throwing on an undershirt quickly, Rumil's bare feet led led him up the stairs to Belegwen's room. He stopped at her door, knocking loudly. When no one answered, he did not hesitate to burst in uninvited.

"Belegwen," He said, looking worriedly at her motionless form in the rocking chair next to the cradle. She had not bothered to get undressed from the previous day of training, which Rumil knew was not normal for her. "Belegwen." He said again, walking up to her and giving her a quick shake.

She did not move, nor wake.

"Belegwen?" He heard Linros questioning behind him with a generous helping of concern present in his voice. Rumil barely heard him though, frozen in fear for a moment as he realized what had happened.

"Belegwen?! Belegwen!" He exclaimed once again, shaking her much more aggressively this time to make sure there was no possible way she was just sleeping. Much to Rumil's consternation, she did not wake up. His heart started to pound faster and faster as he looked quickly between Belegwen and his nephew, who was whimpering softly in the cradle.

"Something is wrong. Linros, you take Halendil and I will take Belegwen. I will meet you at the healing telain. Do not run with the elfling." He commanded, then wasted no time grabbing up his sister and running down the stairway of the warden's halls. He panicked the entire way to the healing telain, running violently up the stairs leading to Eltirwen's talan.

"Eltirwen!" Rumil shouted, bursting through the door without bothering to knock. "Help!"

He heard the soft pattering of feet before he saw her appear. Tying up her robe, the dark-haired healer looked as if she had just rolled out of bed. "Rumil, what is it? What has happened?" She asked as she raced over, quickly looking for injuries on Belegwen.

"I found her like this in her room. She is unresponsive." He said as the healer looked her over carefully.

"She fades…" The healer quickly concluded as she inspected her dulled silver locks, meeting Rumil's eyes with her own astonished ones. "Why is she fading? She was doing so well just a few days ago!"

Rumil looked down at her, upset that he had not done anything to help her sooner. "I think it is Haldir. I think she misses him too greatly." He murmured, the worry in his voice clearly evident as he gently shifted Belegwen into a more comfortable position in his arms.

"Good grief, he will be the death of her yet! The apprentices are not here this early, so I will go and fetch Linedhel from next door. He will help me pull a second bed into Haldir's room and we will house them together. Perhaps being in his presence will help." Eltirwen said, though her voice lacked its usual confidence, which left Rumil feeling uncertain as to whether or not it would truly help.

Eltirwen left muttering something under her breath about the churlish marchwarden who always seemed to be at the center of a certain elleth's ailments. She then reappeared a few minutes later with Linedhel in tow, whom was also dressed in a robe and looked rumpled from his reverie.

After Linedhel helped Eltirwen move an extra bed into Haldir's room, Rumil carefully placed Belegwen onto it, arranging her limbs into a comfortable position and pushing a pillow beneath her unmoving head. Rumil then watched as Eltirwen put Belegwen's limp hand into Haldir's much larger one. Their beds had been scooted next to one another to allow for close contact between the two married elves. When Rumil looked up from his brother and his sister, he caught a worried look passing between the two healers.

"What is it?" Rumil asked nervously, looking back and forth between the two. "What is wrong?"

Eltirwen swallowed uneasily before replying. "Usually physical contact between two bonded elves is enough to bring a faded one back if he or she is not too far gone. Because Belegwen is not waking right away, I fear this problem has gone on for an extended time. I'm afraid this lowers her chances of recovery."

Rumil watched as Linedhel shook his silver-haired head; his eyes closed and a pain-filled look adorned his stern visage. "Belegwen has been so busy caring for her son and doing her job that she has neglected her own needs. If she had sought help for this sooner, we could have woken up Haldir from his healing sleep to be with her and soothe this ailment. Now I am uncertain if even that will help her. Belegwen can still come back from this, but it will be a challenge indeed."

As his heart sank deeply into his chest, Rumil felt the full weight of the situation resting heavily upon his shoulders. He said nothing until he saw Linros appear at the door hesitantly, carrying a Halendil's fussing little form tightly in his arms. "What of Halendil? How will he be fed while she is like this?"

"I will assist Belegwen in feeding Halendil for as long as her body is able to support the function." Eltirwen replied as she walked over to Linros and plucked the little one from his arms without hesitation. "If her body grows too weak to produce sustenance for him, we will have to search for a different solution."

Rumil frowned as he watched Eltirwen rock and gently bounce his nephew in a comfortable way, which spoke of her vast amount of experience with elflings. She was doing everything she could to try and calm the unhappy little ellon, who clearly needed his naneth.

What would happen to the elfling if Belegwen did not wake up?

Rumil slowly closed his eyes and internally shivered at the thought. Feeling chilled to the bone with fear over his nephew's fate, Rumil quickly walked around the conjoined beds until he was next to his brother. Leaning down, he whispered into his ear. "I know you need this healing sleep Haldir, but there is not much time left. Your bond with Belegwen is so great that she is fading without you, so you must wake up soon. She needs you brother; do not linger in the darkness any longer. Come to the light and bring your hervess back with you." He pleaded firmly, trying to impart how important this quest was to his brother's conscience.

"Haldir, I hope above all else that you can hear me." Rumil whispered to him as he tightly held Haldir's shoulder to try and convey the seriousness of the situation. "Please come back Haldir. Do not leave Belegwen to this untimely fate!"

ooOoo

On the other side of the wall, buried deep within his mind, Haldir's eyes flickered open as the meaning of Rumil's words registered through his mind. How long he had been sleeping, Haldir did not know, but apparently it had been long enough for his wife to give into despair.

Perhaps the wall had been a bad idea after all. Haldir had only sought to block Belegwen from having to feel the immense physical pain he was enduring from his injuries, but he knew all too well about the consequences of having a wall block their mental connection. However, he had only been forced to endure the traumatic event for a mere week. How long had Belegwen put up with his wall and the empty feeling that came along with it?

For those bonded elves who had the gift of a mental connection with their spouse, the closeness of their loved one became a lifeline for them. They started to depend on it to feel whole and normal. This was often part of the reason why one elf would fade if their husband or wife passed away—the lack of connection that was deeply ingrained in their life was suddenly gone and left them feeling empty, like a discarded shell.

Belegwen clearly needed him, but was he strong enough to go and fetch her back? Tentatively, Haldir stretched his arm out towards the wall. He felt the familiar twinge of pain in his back and grimaced as he ran his fingers over the bumpy stones that separated him from his wife. Concentrating on what he wanted to do, he focused on one stone with his eyes closed and when he opened them, the stone was gone.

His eyes peered through the hole he had created in his wall and then suddenly enlarged. Gone was the usual world of darkness on Belegwen's side of the wall. In its place was a beach that was all too familiar to at this point. _"No…"_ He whispered as he finally caught sight of her.

Belegwen was all the way across the beach, floating lifelessly amid the darkened waves. The sea was not as calm as it had been previously and Haldir felt himself start to panic as a wave crashed over her small body, making her disappear from his view for a moment. A few seconds later, she floated to the surface again, her body bouncing limply as wave after wave rolled underneath her.

Haldir was scared she would disappear under the waves and never come back up. Immediately, the wall disappeared as he tried to stand. He limped several steps before crying out and falling to his knees. He resorted to crawling across the beach, the stabbing pain in his back becoming nearly unbearable as he maneuvered through the sand with what little speed he could muster.

"Come back!" He shouted after her, grabbing fistful after fistful of golden sand as he struggled to drag himself across the uneven terrain. "Belegwen!"

Haldir managed to get to his feet once more and stumbled into the water. He clenched his teeth as pain shot up and down his spine all over again. The water was cold and he found himself falling face first into its depths after staggering for a few more steps. His head popped out of the dark water and he gasped, looking through the wet, golden locks that were plastered over his face to see Belegwen was still several paces away from him. He crawled and walked as long as he could, then started to swim, growling with pain as he forced himself to continue on.

"Belegwen!" He cried out desperately. A wave submerged him into darkness briefly, then he emerged coughing as he swam hurriedly towards her. He stopped for a moment to push his hair out of his face, then continued to struggle through the water shakily until he reached her. With a strong hand, he grabbed her under the armpit just as another wave crashed over them. Though he could feel the waves trying to pull them both out to sea, Haldir fought valiantly against it with what little strength he had left. Holding her arm as tightly as he could, he swam forward slowly, panting with effort as he fought against the pull of the dark water.

Soon he was able to reach the ground once more and he slowly pulled her closer and closer to the beach, falling to his knees to crawl again once the water became too shallow to support him with ease. Resituating his arm roughly beneath her armpit so he had a better grip on her, Haldir cringed as struggled to drag her body up the beach towards safety.

When he appeared to have put a decent distance between his wife and the sea, Haldir collapsed in the sand next to Belegwen's still form. He closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath. He felt himself trembling from the burning pain that was radiating through his back and into his legs. His hair was clinging to his face, along with millions of sand granules from his difficult trek across the beach. Absently, he tried to brush some of it off as he forced himself onto his side so he could inspect Belegwen.

The first thing he noticed was that her blue eyes looked vacant as they stared up at the sky. She was unmoving, her skin appearing too pale even for her. As he reached for her, saw that her wet hair clung to her warden's uniform and was full of golden sand. He ran his fingers through it briefly, then gently took ahold of her head and leaned it towards him.

"Belegwen?" He whispered as he worried over her faded appearance. The feeling of their bond was still intact though and he felt the familiar tingling associated with it immediately rush through his fingers as he made contact with her icy, soaking wet skin.

After a few moments, he saw her blue eyes flash to life and she immediately started convulsing. She flipped over to her side and coughed up a bunch of water while he watched and silently breathed a sigh of relief. Wheezing loudly, Belegwen flipped onto her back when she had successfully removed the water from her lungs and stared at him with bewildered eyes. Haldir could feel her lungs burning through their bond, as well as her surprise at seeing him beside her. They spent their first few minutes together simply staring at one another and marveling at the fact that they were together again after such a long absence.

"Belegwen," He finally managed to say, breaking the silence lingering between them. He reached out towards her, cupping her sandy cheek in his hand and enjoying the feel of the bond pulsating through them. "Thank goodness you are here. I thought I was about to lose you when I had just gotten you back…" He confessed, his eyes tearing up with unfiltered despair at the very thought of losing her.

She watched him as he trailed his trembling finger gently down her cheek, over her chin, and then down her neck until it reached where her leaf pin was currently buckled at her collar. His hand then fell to the ground as he stared at her, trying to read the emotions that were quickly swirling through her head.

Haldir saw a tear run out of her eye and drip into the sand as she reached for his face to reacquire physical contact with him. He closed his eyes when her cold fingers made contact with the side of his face, pushing a damp golden hair clump to the side so she could see him better. "Is it really you Haldir?" She whispered as she stared into his eyes with a look of hope. "I did not think you would ever return to me."

He watched as she started to silently sob and quickly pulled her against his chest. He somehow managed to stifle a groan, as the effort hurt his injury. Haldir could not bear to see her this way though and tightly clutched her tiny body against his own, in spite of the pain it caused him. Leaning in towards her ear, he whispered, "You think I could bear to live without you, now that I have finally made you my own? Never, meleth… never."

Haldir stroked her hair as she sobbed and trembled against him. "You put up the wall and I could not feel you. You have been gone for so long hervenn... Forgive me for allowing my loneliness to consume me." She begged him, surely feeling how panicked he was on the inside. Indeed, his adrenaline was still pumping furiously from nearly losing her to the black waves of the sea.

"I only meant to protect you from the pain of my injuries hervess. I felt how it hurt you when you brought me back to life and I wished to shield you from my agonizing pain. I never meant to…" He said before trailing off, not wanting to say what had nearly happened out loud.

He shook his as he began to apologize to her. "I am sorry about the wall. I promise I will never make another one again hervess. To this oath I will stay true, just like the one I made to you the day we first joined our bodies together. I will love you forever Belegwen." He said with an unusual amount of warmth filling his voice as he felt his love for her flare up through their bond.

Without further ado, Haldir gently lifted her chin and began to kiss her softly. He relished the feeling of her body against him as his sandy lips caressed hers, setting his whole body alight with desire. Running his fingers down her chest and ribs, Haldir intended to grab her by the bottom and pull her even closer to him, but stopped as his fingers reached her stomach. Confused, he immediately pulled away from her and stared down her body, shocked and then suddenly frightened at this new discovery.

"Belegwen, where is the ellon? Has something happened?!" He asked frantically. Immediately, he was beside himself with worry, for the little ellon was no longer within her. "Sweet Valar, what has happened to him!"

"Haldir!" She cried out as his mind became troubled and full of grief for the little one he had dreamed of having for a few millennia. Belegwen clutched his head powerfully between her hands tightly and stopped him before he could say anything more. "Haldir, stop panicking! He is fine! I have birthed him and he is well!"

"You birthed him," he echoed, slowly allowing the words to sink into his terror-filled mind. "He is well?"

She nodded, still holding his head tightly. "He is well. He is now four months old and is the darling of Lothlorien."

"Four months? That is so long…" He murmured to himself. "I have missed much with him."

"You have held him every night since you came back to life." Belegwen assured him. "I have made sure of it. He is already so attached to you that he will not sleep without resting within the safety of his adar's arm every night."

Haldir stared at her as he took in her admission, his heart immediately swelling with love for the effort his wife had already put forth to ensure the elfling would know him, in spite of his predicament. "Thank you hervess. Let us awaken now so that I might see the elfling face to face." He said, leaning in to kiss her once more, savoring the sweet feeling of his lips brushing against hers and the thrumming of their bond's power at their every touch.

"Will you be awake in the outside world with me?" Belegwen questioned, now appearing to be having her turn to panic. "What if I wake up and you are not there?"

"I will be there Belegwen; I am ready now. Come, let us do this at the same time so we wake up together." Haldir said, trying to reassure her.

"You promise?" She asked uncertainly, hesitating out of fear. Hearing this, he knew in his heart that she could not bear to lose him ever again. Haldir could not blame her either, as she had almost faded into nothingness just minutes ago due to his absence.

"I promise." He said with sincerity. "I will never leave you again Belegwen. I will be with you when you wake up." He watched as she nodded slowly. He felt her run her hands languidly down his arms and then took his hands into her own.

"Let us go then." She finally agreed as she squeezed his cold hands tightly. With that said, they both closed their eyes simultaneously and concentrated; then they were gone.

Haldir slowly blinked as he felt himself regain consciousness in his physical body. Turning his head to the side where he felt her presence, he was met with her intent stare. Belegwen's blue eyes were filled with hope. He felt her squeeze his hand, her eyes never leaving his.

As healers bustled around the two of them, everything else seemed to fade away. All that was left were the blue eyes that held his without faltering and the feeling of love that surrounded them as their bond started to fully connect them together as they had been before the battle.

ooOoo

"Everyone out!" Belegwen heard the familiar voice of Eltirwen bellow as the interns buzzed around them, poking and prodding at both her and Haldir while they were engrossed with each other's eyes. "This is a case of mated spirits fading, so we need to give them some time to themselves before we do the checks! Out!"

As usual, her harsh voice left no room for argument and Belegwen could hear the whispers of the interns as they walked away from the bed and out of the room. However, at the moment she only had eyes for Haldir. He was looking at her, just as he was on the beach within her mind's eye. The intensity of his scrutiny was immense and nearly overwhelmed all of her senses. She studied his face, which spoke of both his love for her and the immeasurable amount of pain he was enduring, which she could feel herself through their bond.

Belegwen continued to feel taken aback by his very presence. He had slept for over four months now and his wall had blocked any feelings or thoughts he had from her mind's eye for all of that time. She had went from feeling empty and lonely to feeling whole once again. Wave after wave of his emotions crashed over her through their bond, mostly those of love and appreciation for her and the elfling he so desperately desired to meet.

Knowing what she needed to do, Belegwen called out to the bossy healer. "Eltirwen?"

Immediately the dark haired healer was at her side. "Do you need something before I go Belegwen? We are going to leave you both alone for a couple of hours so your bond can fully reestablish itself before we continue our health checks."

"Yes, I would like to have our elfling brought in here with us please." She requested, finally breaking her eye contact with Haldir to view the older elleth's response. "Will you bring him?"

Eltirwen smiled down at her warmly. "Of course, I will be right back with him. He is awake and playing with Tinuloth in the next room over." She then looked over at Haldir, who was also staring up at her with a ragged look on his face. "I will also bring a draught to help you endure the pain of your injuries, Marchwarden."

Belegwen listened as Eltirwen's feet took her out of the room momentarily. Gingerly, she tried to sit up, but struggled as her body still felt weak from fading. With a groan, she laid back down, too frail for the feat she had attempted.

As if sensing what had just happened, Eltirwen burst in with both the elfling and a draught in her hands, scolding Belegwen with her best chiding voice, "Do not be trying to leave bed right now. You are too feeble to be getting up and doing things. That goes for you too, Marchwarden!"

After setting Halendil down in the cradle next to their beds, Eltirwen quickly wound her way over to Haldir while she took the cork off a small vial, which she handed to him. Once Haldir drank it down, she opened a nearby closet and pulled a few extra pillows out, then proceeded to prop up both Belegwen and Haldir so they could sit up and hold Halendil comfortably.

With gentle hands, Belegwen watched as Eltirwen took Halendil into her arms and passed him off to her. He started chattering away happily, using syllables only he understood once he caught sight of his naneth. She smiled down at him tiredly and stroked his bald head tenderly.

With a wink to Haldir, Eltirwen said, "I do hope you are ready for some new excitement in your life Marchwarden!" After smirking at him for a moment, she left and closed the door behind her.

"Are you ready to meet your son hervenn?" Belegwen asked quietly as she started to turn towards Haldir, only to find that he was already leaning over to try and catch sight of the elfling from behind her shoulder. His face looked pained though from sitting in such an uncomfortable position. Quickly, Belegwen adjusted herself so that she was leaning towards Haldir to give him a full view of the little ellon. "Hervenn, let me introduce you to Halendil Haldirion. Halendil, this is your ada. He is well enough to meet you today, my sweetling!"

She watched as Haldir drew in a slow breath and studied the little one before him with wide eyes. Halendil stared back at him, perplexed that the elf who was normally unmoving was now watching him with vibrant, glistening eyes. Slowly, as if afraid he might injure the little one, Haldir gently touched his son's chubby cheek.

"Wow…" Was all he could manage to say at first, so entranced was he with the little set of blue eyes that were a perfect mirror image of his own. Belegwen watched as he caressed that little cheek lightly. A great feeling of love warmed her insides as she felt how pleased Haldir was with this tiny version of himself. Already, he loved Halendil as if he was one of the most important elves in his life.

"He is beautiful, is he not?" Belegwen questioned, though she received no answer from Haldir, who seemed to have been rendered completely speechless by the little one. Smiling at her son, Belegwen tickled the little one's belly as she liked to do, earning her a few giggles and a big elfling smile. Belegwen looked over at Haldir again and saw he was smiling widely in return as he inspected the tiniest of hands with his own large finger. Suddenly, the tiny fingers reached out and latched onto his finger, causing him to gasp and then marvel at the grip of his son. Belegwen chuckled a bit as Halendil tried to move Haldir's finger to his lips, only to have his ada pull it away before it reached his wet mouth. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Yes," he whispered, then carefully held out his arms, never taking his eyes off Halendil. Belegwen carefully handed Halendil to Haldir, who seemed to know how to hold an elfling well enough. He held the little one carefully, as if he was a priceless treasure. The look on Haldir's face was one of love and amazement as he gazed upon his son's face. Halendil stared back for a little while, then started to call out syllables to Haldir while taking one of his golden locks into his little hand and holding onto it with a tight grip.

"I am your ada," Haldir finally whispered to the little one, who smiled with glee and chattered to him in his elfling language a bit more. Haldir smiled back and tried out the youngling's name. "Halendil… You have named him after me."

Belegwen smiled and caressed Haldir's cheek, earning her a quick peck on the lips before his gaze returned to his son. "It is Lothlorien tradition. I hoped you would like it."

"I do," he replied, repositioning the elfling in his arms as he squirmed around. "You are right; he does look a lot like me. He has my facial features, but he laughs just like you."

"He does," Belegwen agreed, leaning against Haldir's shoulder gently so she could watch the two interact with one another. For nearly an hour, Haldir held his son and spoke with him, telling him about their lives in Lothlorien and the many things he would see and do when he was a bit older.

After a while, the elfling became fussy and Belegwen took him back to feed him. Haldir watched the event attentively, seemingly happy with the way she was caring for his son. The little one promptly fell asleep after his meal and Belegwen carefully lowered him into the cradle next to the bed before turning over and curling up next to Haldir.

Immediately, he pushed his arm under her body and pulled her close to him. Belegwen could tell the draught Eltirwen had given him had dulled his pain a bit, but she knew he was still hurting greatly underneath his stoic façade.

"Here, let me try to alleviate some of your pain." Belegwen said, then placed her hand on his bare back carefully and concentrated her spirit's power towards his wound. The familiar heat of a healing touch radiated through her hand and into his body, looping back through her hand and filling her own body with a tingling warmth as well.

She held onto him and healed him until she could no longer bear the intense circular passage of power between them. When Belegwen finally let go, the power blaring between them stopped and she fell down on the bed, feeling tired yet surprisingly more steady with her motions than before.

"Thank you," Haldir whispered as he got comfortable next to her and looked at her with a small smile. "That helped us both. My body is aching less now and you have removed some of the signs of fading from yourself. Look, your hair has reacquired its shine." He said, holding up a shiny tendril of her hair between them. Indeed, the locks that were previously a dull grey had redefined color and were shining like the finest silver once more.

Haldir pulled her back against him and Belegwen gently rested her head against his shoulder as he held her warm body firmly against his own. Once he situated his head so he could see her, he said, "Thank you for the precious gift you have given me in Halendil; he is absolutely perfect in every way. What a blessing it is to finally be an adar as I had always hoped I would."

"Thank you for giving me such a wonderful son." Belegwen replied softly, tracing the line between his pectorals idly as she spoke, enjoying the tingling feeling of their bond rising up into her fingertips. "I never thought I would get to be both a warden and a naneth, but now I am and I have you to thank for it." She murmured gratefully.

"I love you." He whispered with his lips rubbing softly against her forehead. He spoke slowly now, growing more and more tired by the minute from the exertion of holding his son. "You are a strong marchwarden and a sweet, loving naneth. I love that you are both."

Belegwen smiled as she too started to doze off in his comforting, familiar embrace. "I am glad Haldir. Thank you for loving me as I am. I could not ask for a better hervenn."

Finally reunited, the two slept together peacefully for several hours without interruption. By the time they woke up again, Belegwen had fully recovered from her fade and was able to take up her marchwarden duties again.


	55. Almost Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! We're almost to the end now! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 55: Almost Normal

"You have chosen a beautiful day for this Haldir," Lord Celeborn remarked as the group of three elves slowly traversed the pathway that led towards the training grounds. Sunlight shimmered down through the canopy of golden-leafed mellryn overhead and reflected off the Lord of Lorien's silvery hair as he slowly made his way down the path, keeping his eyes on the hobbling elf next to him to look for signs of distress.

Haldir was very aware of Lord Celeborn's concern for him, though he was doing much better now than he had been a few weeks ago. He was now receiving physical therapy to help him regain his smooth gate and physical prowess. He had lost much of his ability while he slept and healed for months on end and now had to try and regain what was lost.

His spine was still causing him some pain, though the spirit healing Belegwen was imparting on him every night had worked wonders for him. While she had little success trying to heal him while he had the wall up between them, now that their bond was fully reestablished, the healing was once again helping him. Already, he could walk around with a cane and had started retraining his arms to handle his bow and sword.

Lady Galadriel floated beside him on the right, wearing one of the lovely white gowns she was renowned for. When Haldir glanced over at her, she smiled back at him knowingly as they made their way to the gate leading into the training grounds. Though Haldir could only manage a slow pace at this time, they had finally made it to their destination.

Looking around at the wardens engaged in their various training exercises, Haldir found himself feeling at home once again, even more so than he had for the first three weeks he was awake in Lothlorien. This field had been his daily retreat for nearly 4,000 years and the familiarity of it was comforting, especially considering what he had come here to do.

Haldir would not admit it to the lord or lady, but he was nervous. Normally, he was not so easily shaken. However, he was about to purposefully put one of his largest fears on display for all to see. It was a disquieting thought, though he knew deep in his heart that the outcome would be well worth the hassle.

Plus, he had promised this to Orophin. There was no turning back now…

As the three elves entered the wide gate, they fixated on the scenes in front of them. Several wardens were at the archery range, practicing shooting arrows from a variety of distances and angles. A few pairs of ellyn were sparring in the grassy field, mostly using hand-to-hand combat, though a couple were dueling with swords. At the far end, right by the tree line of mellryn, was the group Haldir had come to see.

It was unusual to see so many ellyn looking up all at once. Haldir's eyes followed their gaze to the top of the tree, then stopped walking for a moment as his eyes caught sight of the demonstration before him. On a branch high above the ground were Belegwen and Rumil, battling one another with their swords vigorously. Both were balanced on one of the highest branches of the monstrous tree, which was no small feat without dueling. However, the two were exchanging blows with one another rapidly, as if they had practiced this before.

Belegwen seemed to move as naturally in the tree as she did on the ground. She did not even feel nervous, Haldir marveled, as he latched onto her mind and felt the confidence she had in herself and her balance while she fought. Haldir could tell by the look on his brother's face that he did not feel the same. If anything, Haldir was a bit worried for Rumil, who stumbled backward a few steps to avoid stroke after stroke of Belegwen's sword while desperately trying to maintain his balance. He was quickly losing ground and being driven further out on the branch, where he had less stability.

As if sensing he was reaching a dangerous area, Belegwen reacted quickly. She jumped down from the branch as Rumil teetered on the branch while swiping at her. Catching the branch they were on with her empty hand, Belegwen expertly swung herself underneath Rumil with such force that she propelled herself back onto the top of the branch, landing behind him and quickly getting to her feet. Rumil immediately turned around to engage her and she quickly drove him back towards the safety of the tree trunk.

Haldir could tell Belegwen was completely in control of the situation as he watched her speed up their exchange, challenging Rumil to match her speed while maintaining his balance. Rumil lashed out at her viciously in return, blocking her blows repeatedly at the mind-boggling speed she had set. Trying to get off the defensive, Rumil ducked down low and tried to slash at Belegwen's feet.

Before his attack reached its goal, Haldir watched in astonishment as Belegwen deftly flipped over the top of Rumil's squatting body, her long legs extended high in the air above her. Haldir glanced over at Lord Celeborn as he heard a gasp escape his mouth while Belegwen flew confidently through the air. He saw the fear of an adar in the ancient lord's eyes before his eyes quickly darted back to the sparring match. Belegwen had landed safely behind Rumil and the two were battling one another ferociously once more.

The battle was short-lived though. Even with the pair fighting quite a distance away from him, Haldir could still see that familiar glint in Belegwen's eyes—the one she always had when she knew she was about to win a match. Belegwen was now guiding the offensive so rapidly that Rumil was starting to totter on the branch again as he struggled to defend himself against her myriad of blows. Taking her sword into a two-handed grip, Belegwen suddenly brought it above her head and expediently aimed it at Rumil's shoulder.

Rumil was not ready to block this particular blow, but he tried anyway. He brought his sword up as quickly as he could, but he was not gripping it tightly enough for Belegwen's onslaught. Adjusting at the last possible second to a large, circular motion, Belegwen successfully made Rumil's sword fly erratically out of his hand. The wardens at the bottom of the tree quickly scattered to avoid being hit with the flying weapon. Once it had hit the ground, they all flocked back to their spots to see what happened next.

He watched as his brother staggered dangerously on the branch before fully losing his balance and starting to fall. Belegwen was fast though, swinging under the branch once again and catching Rumil's forearm before anything bad could happen. From there, she swung him to a lower branch, where he quickly landed after appearing to curse a few times about his defeat. Soon, Belegwen was perched beside him on the branch and the two spoke privately for a few moments before they scurried down the tree carefully, without the help of ladders.

Haldir then turned back to his lord and lady once he realized he had forgotten about their presence beside him. He found that Lady Galadriel had approached Lord Celeborn and the two seemed to be having a silent conversation within the security of their bond. The look on the lady's face was one of reassurance and calmness. Haldir watched as his lord composed himself a bit under her intense stare, still reeling from seeing Belegwen flying rather dangerously over Rumil's head while they were engaged in the sparring session.

It had not concerned Haldir though, as he had felt how confident she was with the motion. Fear had never even entered Belegwen's mind while she had flipped over his brother. Haldir was also fully aware of how physically gifted and balanced Belegwen was and knew that it had not been a particularly hard feat for her to complete.

In this moment though, Haldir could see how true Lord Celeborn's love was for his hervess. In his mind, Belegwen was truly like a second daughter to him and always would be, no matter how much time had passed. The fact that he still worried about her was endearing and sweet. Haldir was pleased Lord Celeborn had accepted Belegwen all those years ago as his own, since it had ensured her success both as an elf of the city and as a warden. After all, Lord Celeborn was one of the best warriors of the city and had functioned both as her trainer and mentor, which had resulted in her success.

Indeed, Lord Celeborn had been good for Belegwen. Haldir was thankful for all he had done for her and he was certain Belegwen felt the same way about their lord.

"It is time, please join me." Haldir said, inviting the lord and lady to walk over with him. He then shakily started to walk towards the group gathered at the base of the mallorn tree, leaning heavily on his cane for support as he walked. Behind him, he could hear the lord and the lady walking in tandem and following behind him confidently.

As he approached, he could hear Belegwen directing the elves of the advanced swordsmanship class with confidence. Haldir smiled as he watched her, happy that she had come so far in the short year that had passed with her functioning as a marchwarden. Belegwen always had such confidence within her and had simply needed the acceptance of the other elves to step into her new role. Now that she had earned it, the rest of her duties seemed to come naturally to her. Haldir was pleased with her progress and loved the leader she had become.

He watched as Belegwen sent the elves into a few nearby trees with partners, each instructed to battle one another within the mellryn while using caution so none would be hurt from the training exercise. Belegwen watched them for a minute, before turning around and meeting his eyes. Her lips formed a look of surprise, then immediately transformed into a bright smile as she saw him up and walking for the first time in weeks.

Haldir had been practicing walking secretly for the last two weeks, hoping to surprise her with his progress. The look on her face and the dazzling light of hope in her eyes told him that he succeeded.

"My lord and lady," Belegwen said in welcome, placing her hand over her heart and bowing low before them. When she straightened back up, she met Haldir's blue eyes once more.

"Marchwarden," Belegwen said, acknowledging him second, as was appropriate in the presence of Galadriel and Celeborn. "It is good to see you out walking once more. Have you come to check on the status of our trainings?" She asked calmly. He could hear her mind buzzing as she formulated what was worthy of reporting within her head rather unnecessarily.

Haldir smiled at her and let out the smallest of laughs as she looked up at him curiously. "I am not here for any report Belegwen, but rather to address a personal matter between us, if I may." He said with amusement in his voice as he felt her mind beginning to probe his own nosily, since she was uncertain of what he meant. Upon feeling this, he raised his eyebrows up at her, letting her know he was fully aware of her intentions and quickly conveyed to her that he was not going to allow her to know what he was doing until he was ready.

"Certainly marchwarden… Haldir," she said, correcting herself quickly as she struggled to be personal with him in front of the lord and lady. Haldir had expected this though, as they spent nearly one year acting coldly towards each other unless they were alone. To now amend the strongly ingrained behavior would be tricky for both of them, as they were unaccustomed to public displays of affection. However, that was currently the one thing they needed most to improve their situation and Haldir was not going to back down from it, even if it did make him uncomfortable.

"I am here to right a wrong," He started, then motioned for the lord and lady to come forward. With Lord Celeborn's help, he was able to bend down onto one knee before Belegwen. The lord held one of his shoulders steady while the lady gripped the other. With their assistance, he was able to stay upright on his knee as he reached for Belegwen's hand.

Now having an inkling of what was happening, he watched as Belegwen grew both nervous at the scene they were creating in front of the wardens and excited as she anticipated what was to come. Haldir simply smiled up at her and accepted her hand into his own when she finally came up with enough courage to offer it to him. He brought the hand up to his lips and kissed it before setting his other hand over it.

"Belegwen… I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. It was that day you visited the border with Lord Celeborn. When you shot your first Galadhrim bow, you captured my heart in the process. Long did I deny the effect you had on me. Back then, I did not think you would want to pursue a relationship since you were so deeply invested in your job as a warden." He stated, his blue eyes never leaving hers as he spoke from his heart.

"I was wrong though. Eventually, we were able to meet as equals when you became a marchwarden. My heart was gladdened to find that my feelings for you were suddenly returned. Last year, our hearts chose one another so quickly that it took our minds several months to catch up to them. Now that I have loved you thusly, I can no longer live without you by my side." Haldir said as he squeezed her hand gently. He was fully aware that the training ground had grown eerily quiet and that many sets of eyes were watching them, which was what he had hoped for.

"I know we have been a bit unconventional in our relationship over the past year. Please know that in my mind, you are already my hervess, even though we never discussed the matter. Nothing can change that at this point. However, I know that in the minds of some others, this is not the case." He said, purposefully projecting his memory of Esgalamon judging Belegwen into her mind to ensure she knew that he was aware of the situation.

"I would not have you live in shame because of the choices we made Belegwen. I want everyone to see you as I see you, respectfully as my chosen hervess. I have asked the lord and lady to amend the warden's code to allow for this, but no amendment was needed. Our togetherness has never been a mere fraternization or dalliance, but a full-blown love built to endure the long years of eternity. It is with their full permission that I come before you today to ask for your hand." He said, his voice shaking with emotion as he watched her carefully. Her eyes were full of love for him and she was breathing heavily as she listened to all he had to say.

"Marry me." He whispered softly, drawing her hand gently against his heart. "Marry me in vow, in front of the whole city at the warden's ball next month. Let us make it so there are no doubts about us. Let us make this right in every way." He murmured as he pulled one of his hands away from his chest and used it to withdraw something from his pocket. He opened up his hand so she could see what was within.

Rings.

There were two silver rings in his hand, one large and one small. Both were thick-banded and had a particularly intricate engraving of mellryn leaves around the exterior; the details were so fine that you could see shading on the overlapping leaves and even the veins within them. The top and the bottom of each ring had a small silver border that shined brightly in the sunlight.

"Haldir," Belegwen gasped, her voice full of emotion as she stared in disbelief at the rings and then back at him. He could tell she was moved beyond words and he waited patiently for an answer, his heart beating anxiously in the mean time.

"Let this no longer be a secret." He continued when she did not answer, "Let this be a full marriage in every way. What say you, Belegwen? Will you accept me as your eternal partner in all things?"

She started to nod before her mouth regained the ability to speak the words. Finally receiving an answer, a large smile started to unfurl on the side of his mouth as he slid the smaller ring onto her index finger. When he finished, he heard her whisper as she looked him in the eyes with intensity, "As you have said before, you are already my hervenn and I will love you forever. I will marry you in vow though. Let it happen as you have said." She murmured, then squeezed his hand in response, at once admiring the ring that was on her finger.

Haldir handed her the larger ring after a few moments and held out his pointer finger so she could put it on him as well. Then, with limited help from Lord Celeborn, he stood up and pulled her carefully towards him for a kiss.

Cheers and applause broke out across the training grounds as Haldir kissed her passionately, right there on the field for all to see. He could feel Belegwen tense upon hearing the wardens and when he pulled away from her, he saw that her cheeks had flushed to a soft pink color. Joy was sparkling in her eyes as her love for him beamed through their bond.

"I am sorry if I have embarrassed you," Haldir whispered near her forehead as he scanned the scene around the training field. Indeed, all training had stopped and all eyes were on them. "The lord and lady both recommended this, as it was an easy way for them to show their support of our relationship to a large crowd. This way, the city will not be whispering about us breaking the rules, but instead about our lord and lady's approval of our actions."

"Oh," Belegwen said, flushing a bit more while smiling up at him with eyes that glowed like sapphires. "It is not so bad, just rather unexpected. I am not used to having this type of attention drawn to myself." She answered as she pushed a small flyaway of golden hair out of his face and behind his ear while he looked down at her.

A moment later, she was kissing him, albeit rather tentatively, as a show of support for his actions. When she was done, their lips lingered together for a moment more, both smiling against the other before Haldir leaned his forehead against her own again, his own joy bursting forth through their bond as they stood together and reveled in the sweetness of the moment.

Finally, his dream had come to fruition! Belegwen was now wearing his ring, as he had always dreamed!

"Congratulations seem to be an order," Lord Celeborn said when they separated from each other after enjoying their special moment. Haldir watched as Belegwen ran up to Lord Celeborn and was immediately received into a tight hug. "Belegond would have loved this, as do I." He said as he held her tightly, beaming with pride.

"Thank you for granting us permission." He heard Belegwen say into Celeborn's ear as he held her close, then released her into Lady Galadriel's embrace.

"You and Haldir have long been fated to end up together. It is a pleasure to see this actualize." Galadriel said to them as she held Belegwen in a gently embrace. When she drew back from Belegwen, she decreed, "This is a day to remember for you both. Lord Celeborn has planned to take over your classes today, marchwarden. Go now and make plans for your life together—experience the fullness of your joy on this blessed day."

"Thank you." Belegwen said softly, bowing low before the lord and lady and then turning back to Haldir. Before she could address him though, she was caught up in a hug from Rumil, who had ran over to them and somehow managed to simultaneously embrace them both in a big bear hug.

"It has finally happened!" Rumil exclaimed, pulling them both in close in his excitement. Haldir stumbled a bit, but caught himself before he fell and leaned into Rumil so he did not lose his balance again. "What a blessing it is to see my brother and my best friend wed at last! Praise the Valar! Belegwen, welcome to our family!"

Rumil kissed them both on the cheek before letting them go, even taking a moment to help rebalance his brother before he let go of him. He smiled at them both, joy shining from his eyes as he accepted their thanks.

His brother was soon joined by Tinuloth, who brought young Halendil over to his adar and naneth. The little one giggled as she bounced him in her arms before she handed him carefully over to Belegwen. After a few moments of well-practiced motions, Belegwen had tied the little elfling tightly onto her front using her the baby wrap she had received from the women of Rohan.

Haldir smiled at her as she tickled his son under his chin. Halendil giggled and reached his chubby little arms up to her face. He watched as Belegwen grabbed his tiny hands and moved them up and down while he giggled more, tickled to death by her dotting attention.

Once the little one seemed satisfied with the interaction, Haldir held out his arm to Belegwen. "Shall we?" He asked, feeling a sudden burst of excitement at the prospect of walking through the city with his hervess on his arm and his son along for the ride. They were his family now and he could not wait to show them off with pride.

"It is truly okay for us to do so?" Belegwen questioned, her eyes appearing concerned as they had worked rather hard to make sure their secret was kept for all those months.

"There is no longer any reason to hide," Haldir replied gently. "The lord and lady have accepted our bond and now we may do as we please. What I desire more than anything is to walk through the city with you arm in arm."

"Then that you shall have," Belegwen replied, taking hold of his arm carefully. The two walked from the training grounds together, their new silver rings glinting in the sunlight.

At last, they were free to enjoy their love openly and both of them were completely overtaken with happiness because of it.

ooOoo

Gentle white moonlight poured into the room as Belegwen admired the sweet sight before her. Her hervenn was sitting in the rocking chair, his golden locks glistening in the full moon's light as he cradled their son tenderly within his arms. His blue eyes were transfixed on the elfling's face as his lips quietly sang a familiar lullaby to the youngling.

Though Haldir was renowned for his strength and prowess in battle, Belegwen found herself admiring how carefully he held their son as he rocked him into reverie. Truly, Haldir was already proving to be a wonderful, caring adar and Belegwen felt more and more blessed to have him by her side with every day that passed.

As she laid in her bed watching them with a smile upon her face, Belegwen brought her hand up to glance at her ring for the hundredth time that day. After loving one another in secret for nearly a year, it still seemed surreal to Belegwen that Haldir had proposed to her in such a manner, especially since he had done so publically. She knew how private of an ellon Haldir was and the show he had put on earlier was unusual for him.

 _"_ _He must have thought it necessary, just as the lord and lady did…"_ She mused to herself as she idly listened to Haldir's light tenor voice serenade their son into the land of dreams. _"It almost seems as if everything is too good to be true though."_

Indeed, today had been a taste of what a normal life with Haldir would be like. Lord Celeborn had taken over her class and Belegwen had walked arm in arm with Haldir through the city for the first time. It had felt oddly wonderful and uncomfortable all at once, as she was accustomed to doing everything in her power to hide the relationship between them. Now that there was no need, it felt both nice and weird to show it off to the elves of the city.

Haldir had been elated by it. Belegwen had felt how exciting he found these simple moments between them through their bond. He had dreamed of such moments for over 3,000 years now and they had finally come to fruition. The joy he felt had radiated through their bond all afternoon and had pleased Belegwen greatly.

The elves that had seen them together had been surprisingly accepting of them too. Belegwen had feared that even the public proposal would not change the hearts of some of the most traditional elves of the city, but none had acted disparagingly towards the couple this afternoon.

No, most had approached them with messages of congratulation. In fact, the sheer amount of elves who had well wishes to extend to them had made it difficult to pass through the city and they had spent much of their day together chatting with acquaintances rather than making plans.

The day had been enjoyable nonetheless and they had celebrated with their closest friends and family. Rumil had joined them in the dining room for supper and Linros had stopped by too, holding his adopted brother while Belegwen and Haldir had their dinner and chattering away about the adventures he planned to have with the little one once he was upright and walking on his own.

They had met Bragolith and his wife as they walked home from the dining room. Finally being able to walk again, Bragolith had joyfully invited them both to the couple's talan to celebrate their engagement with wine and merriment. Once they had tarried there for a couple of hours, the two lovers had walked hand in hand through Caras Galadhon once more and headed back to the warden's halls to put Halendil to bed. The little one had grown fussy from the excessive attention he had received during the day. Now that he had eaten, Belegwen felt confident that he would surely fall asleep in the comfort of his adar's arms within the next ten minutes or so.

Indeed, when Belegwen next looked over at him, Haldir was setting the sleeping elfling in his cradle with gentle care. She watched as he stroked the sleeping ellon's head a few times before carefully getting to his feet with the help of his cane and making his way over to her. She watched as the moon lit up his golden locks, creating a shiny halo around his head as he extended his hand to her as an invitation. "Come." He said, gesturing to the balcony.

Belegwen immediately remembered the night before they had left for Helm's Deep, when Haldir led her onto his balcony and danced with her, lifting her with ease and leading her meticulously through the steps of several dances. He smiled back at her as he caught sight of the memory within his own mind. Belegwen took his hand and walked with him onto the balcony. Both stood side by side in silence for a while, staring up at the smattering of stars, glittering in stark contrast to the blackened sky. For a long while, the two stood there admiring their view through the canopy of glistening silver mellyrn leaves.

Soon, Belegwen noticed Haldir's attention had diverted to her and she turned to face him. He leaned his cane against the balcony's ledge and then gently reached out, resting his hands on her hips. She could feel the warmth of his touch through her satin robe, as well as the thrumming electricity of their bond.

Belegwen's hands reflexively came to rest on his chest, momentarily caressing it over top of his cream-colored robe before she looked up at him. Lost in the feeling of love that lingered between them, Belegwen smiled as she basked in the glow of his softened gaze.

In his heart, she could tell Haldir felt lighter and freer than he had in a few millennia. Finally being able to show his love for her outwardly and having it returned had unlocked a part of himself that he had shut away for a very long time.

A wordless conversation started to unfold within their minds, where Haldir showed Belegwen his memories of shutting his true self away as a form of self protection. It had been the only thing that stopped the fading he experienced when she had inadvertently rejected him all those years ago. Haldir showed her how he had blocked off his feelings for her with a wall of sorts and then allowed her to see how it made him grow bitter and hard-hearted. Indeed, in those days he had begun to rely more and more on his duty to fulfill him rather than the company of others. He had maintained this wall for over three millennia…

Three _millennia_.

Haldir then pulled the memories she had seen in Galadriel's mirror to the front of her mind. He showed Belegwen how Orophin had convinced him that she was cruel for not allowing anyone to fall in love her. Haldir had told himself that particular lie over and over again until he finally believed it and it had aided him in his ability to shut away his feelings for her.

Next, he showed her how Marchwarden Annondel had tried to pair them up as training partners to help his plight, which had led to a large argument between them. Haldir had been forced to admit to the marchwarden that Belegwen had rejected him and they had argued about the partners until Annondel had finally separated the two. It had been a rather painful experience, dredging up the old feelings once again, which he had then struggled to push back down for several more years.

"I am sorry Haldir." Belegwen whispered as her hands slid up his neck and came to rest on his cheeks with a gentle caress. "I am so sorry you were hurting over me. I wish I had known… Perhaps things would have been different."

"Perhaps…" He murmured back, gently taking one of her hands from his face and bringing it up to his lips to kiss it slowly, lingering there as they both savored the powerful feeling their bond was exuding.

"I do not show you this to upset you or make you feel guilty though. I just want you to understand why I feel such joy now. You need to know why I feel so deeply for you and why it was so hard for me to tell you about my feelings after all that time. To be rejected again would have been unbearable and that is why I waited so long to share my love with you. I do not want you to question my feelings for you because they have never wavered; not even for a second." He proclaimed as he drew her body closer to him, letting go of her hand to draw his fingers through her unrestrained hair, then back to her face where it came to rest under her chin.

"You are the love of my life Belegwen, the only elleth I have ever wanted to spend eternity alongside. My love for you will never fade, falter, or disappear. No, it will only grow as I become closer to you with every passing day. This love and this family we have built are all I have ever desired to have aside from protecting this city. Tell me meleth, does this make you happy too? Are you pleased with how our relationship has turned out?" He asked her quietly, stroking the side of her cheek with uncommon gentleness.

"Of course Haldir," she murmured, capturing his lips for a second against her own. "I too have desired this and am overjoyed to have you as a loving hervenn and a wonderful adar to Halendil. Being with you pleases me greatly and I cannot imagine ever loving another elf as I love you."

She watched as Haldir smiled with pleasure, his eyelids half closed and full of desire for her. He kissed her slowly for a long while, while carefully holding her body snugly against his. A fire started to build within Belegwen as she moved her hands up the back of his firm neck and into his smooth golden locks.

After a while, she felt him reluctantly pull back and he once more stared down at her. "Tell me Belegwen, how do you picture us spending our eternity together? What do you want our life to be like now that we have bonded?"

The feelings of love dwelling within Belegwen quickly cooled upon hearing this question and a flash of fear shot through her mind. She suddenly looked down and studied their bare feet with unusual interest. This question had lingered in her mind before Haldir had been injured and she had worried about the day when it would finally come up in conversation.

Would Haldir want her to be something she was not? Would he ask her to give up all she had worked for to raise his son in the safety of the city?

"Belegwen, did I not already tell you that you had earned your position as marchwarden? That I wanted you to fight by my side? Why do you think I would ask for you to give all of that up?" Haldir asked, gently moving her head back up so that she was looking at him again.

She did not say anything at first as she studied the concern in his eyes. Reassuring herself that he loved her and wanted the best for her, she finally replied, "Haldir… I have spent my entire life believing that no ellon would want me if I chose the life of a warden. For the longest time, no one but Galadriel approved of my choice. All the elves I knew wanted me to quit being a warden and would regularly tell me to 'start acting like an elleth.' I know what you have said to me, but it is hard for me to break out of that mindset. After all this time, I still sometimes fear…" She said, trailing off and finishing the thought in her mind instead.

 _"_ _I still fear you will not love me as I am."_

Belegwen felt a warm blush of shame radiate over her cheeks as looked away from him, unable to meet Haldir's intense gaze now that she had admitted something so personal. She felt exposed and she was worried he would not be kind about hearing such an admission.

She was wrong though. Haldir's lips connected with her forehead before she heard him whisper, "I would never ask you to give up being a marchwarden Belegwen. All the traits you have that make you good at your job are the very same traits that made me fall in love with you in the first place."

"Even the very first day I met you, I could see how brave you were. I have never seen any other elleth I know jump out of a tree the way you did, nor have I ever seen one climb a mallorn as you did on your 50th birthday. You did not even use a ladder! The determination you showed me as you dared to try over and over again to pull back the string on my Galadhrim bow the day we met was extraordinary… Belegwen, I love these things about you and I do not want you to change because then you would not be yourself." He said, clearly hoping to bolster her. Still, she was mortified with her admission and struggled to believe that he truly felt what he described.

For a time, Haldir was silent. Belegwen could hear his mind searching for a way to comfort her. Finally he asked in a hushed voice, "Would you like to know how I picture our future together?"

When Belegwen nodded, Haldir continued. "I see two marchwardens who work together on the border. Together they watch and command the guard. They communicate well because they are married and need not bother with reading one another's lips. They allow each other to use their talents to better the guard and when it is time to fight, they protect one another to make sure both will come home safely to their son." He said with passion in his voice as he described his dream.

"After their fortnight of service, the marchwardens would return home to raise their son together, playing with him and teaching him all the elven ways. They would spend time with their family and friends, train each other and others, and most importantly, they would love and care for one another." He said, pausing at the end as Belegwen finally dared to look up at him. "Then, one day when their duty is completed, they would sail to Valinor together and spend the rest of eternity living peacefully, never to be parted."

"Belegwen," he whispered as he wiped a tear from her eye that she had not even realized she had shed, "That is what I want. I want to do all things with you. Everything is better with you by my side."

"Oh Haldir," she said emotionally, grabbing him tightly around the neck to embrace him. She felt him stumble a bit under the pressure of her hug and instantly loosened her grip a bit so he did not fall over. The sentiment lingered between them all the same though.

It was love—love and the desire to live out Haldir's dream together. "I want that future too." Belegwen whispered ardently, though she knew he had already seen her answer in his mind.

She felt his head nuzzle against hers and his lips grazed her ear as he leaned in and whispered, "Then you shall have it meleth. It is yours." The hot air of his breath caressed her ear and suddenly Belegwen's nightmare resumed. She was back in Helm's Deep with the uruk-hai holding her tightly against the brick wall.

 _"_ _It is he who is responsible, you know…"_

 _"_ _Responsible for what?" She heard her voice say._

 _"_ _Your family's death."_

_Belegwen watched in horror as her naneth and Nenrim were both stabbed at their talan's door and fell to the floor, bloody and unmoving. A scream escaped from her lips as she watched Belegond fight the orcs before they smashed his head into the corner of the dining room table and stabbed him repeatedly._

Frightened, Belegwen quickly pushed Haldir away from her and fell to the ground, crawling backwards until the balcony railing stopped her from going any further. Her heart was pounding excruciatingly fast and she could hear her labored breaths. She blinked several times before she realized that she was not at Helm's Deep. The sounds of swords cracking together and the screams of battle were now replaced with the high-pitched cries of Halendil, who had awoken from her scream and was crying in his cradle.

She jumped when she heard a knock on the door and watched as Haldir awkwardly got to his feet and hobbled over to answer it without his cane. As Belegwen regained control of herself, she realized Haldir was talking to Rumil. A couple of concerned wardens had sent him to her room upon hearing her scream. Much to her embarrassment, she overheard him speak with Haldir about what had happened tonight. Rumil then told Haldir about the flashback he had witnessed, the time when she had utterly decapitated the dead orc during the journey home while being caught up in her memory of the battle.

All Belegwen could do was bury her head in her knees, feeling nothing but embarrassment over the whole situation. Surely if she was a stronger warrior, she would be able to handle these terrible memories of the battle in more normal ways, right? Why couldn't she stop panicking about what the uruk-hai had shown her? Why was this still a problem several months later?

Belegwen groaned softly as she felt tears fall down her face, which made her burrow even deeper into her knees. What would Haldir think of her after this terrible scene she had made. For goodness sakes, she had knocked him over, potentially aggravating his injuries!

She did not have time to dwell on it though, as she was suddenly scooped up in a pair of strong arms. Before she could object, Rumil had deposited her gently on her bed. She heard Haldir thank him and then caught sight of Rumil again as he bent down to kiss her forehead. "This will get better gwathel, I promise." He said soothingly before exiting the room and closing the door silently behind him.

Belegwen watched as Haldir rocked the cradle gently, caressing Halendil's head and whispering quiet words to him until he his cries died down and he dozed off once again. Then he sat next to her in the bed, looking at her with concern in his cerulean eyes. Ashamed of her behavior, Belegwen looked down and studied the wrinkled sheets on the bed as she felt him analyzing the situation.

Out of the corner of her eye, Belegwen noticed that Haldir had untied his robe and let it fall to the floor. She let him untie her own robe as well and watched as he tossed it to the floor before climbing into bed with her. Immediately, she was encased in his warm arms. He tightly held close to his body; it almost felt as if he would never let her go again. Belegwen snuggled into the embrace, trying to enjoy the feeling even though she felt very uncertain of herself at the moment.

A few minutes passed before she heard Haldir's voice slowly and thoughtfully addressed the issue at hand. "This war… it lingers within you and haunts you. This is a price many soldiers are forced to pay during times like these. We will seek help for it tomorrow, but for now you must rest. I will watch over you tonight. The battle is over now and no harm will befall you." He assured her as he caressed her back.

She shivered at the tingling his touch left behind on her bare skin. "This too will pass. Rest assured that I think no less of you for struggling. I have promised forever to you and nothing will separate us again. Not this, nor anything else." He promised and Belegwen could feel through their bond that he meant it with all of his heart.

Upon hearing this, she breathed a sigh of relief and at long last was able to start relaxing in his protective grasp. Through the bond, he assured her that she was still the strongest elleth he knew and that nothing would ever change his high opinion of her. Her heart fluttered from hearing these kind words from him. The feeling of his deep love permeated through her whole body, calming and soothing her until she was finally able to meet his eyes…

Those familiar, blue eyes.

As sleep started to overtake her, Belegwen asked him a question she had long kept as a secret inside of her. "Haldir, your eyes look so familiar to me… Was it you who opened the broom closest? Was it you who saved me as a child the day my family was killed?" She questioned, her voice cracking with emotion as she briefly relived the frightful experience of hiding in the closet and not knowing who had found her after staying in there for hours.

"It was not me." He replied lightly, caressing her hair to try and help her relax. "I was still a city sentinel back then. I did not serve at the border until the wall around the city was built."

"Oh." She said as she yawned tiredly, nodding a bit before settling in against his smooth chest once more. "I still wish I could thank the one who helped me…"

"I know," he murmured, his lips dragging gently against her forehead. "Sleep now, sweet warden. Sleep."

Safely resting in the warmth of her hervenn's arms, Belegwen finally allowed herself to do exactly that.


	56. In Vow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, it's the moment we've all been waiting for! Thanks for all the kudos! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 56: In Vow

"Am I really seeing what I think I'm seeing?" Rumil asked as he approached Haldir from behind. Shock was evident in his voice as he spoke to his brother. Together, the two brothers watched the archery field intently, not quite knowing what to expect from the two elves who had congregated over there.

"It seems rather unbelievable, does it not?" Haldir asked in response, not even bothering to look at Rumil as he gazed upon the same scene that he was asking about. It was rather odd to see what was taking place before his eyes.

"But… how did this come about? And why?" Rumil asked as he studied the sight before him, seemingly perplexed by elves who were talking to one another far more cordially than he would have ever expected. "Do they not both hate each other?"

"I think whatever was between them got resolved after Helm's Deep." Haldir replied calmly. "I know in Belegwen's mind, she sees this as a valuable opportunity for improvement. I imagine he feels the same way."

"Of all wardens she could have chosen from, why did she settle on Eregdol though? That smug old grouch of an elf is truly functioning as Belegwen's training partner? What can he offer her that others cannot?" Rumil questioned slowly in a voice which sounded pained at the very thought of his best friend spending time with such a difficult elf.

The two brothers watched in silence as Belegwen shot a few arrows into a target, then proceeded to receive some pointed guidance from the very same elf who had tried to remove her from her marchwarden status a few months ago. Even Haldir had to admit this seemed rather farfetched after all that had happened between Belegwen and Eregdol, but for whatever reason, it was working.

"Because he does not like her, he does not go easy on her." Haldir replied as he watched Eregdol correct Belegwen's bow hold in such a little way that Haldir could barely see it move at all. He was now speaking to her quietly as she took aim once again.

"They are both experts at different fields of weaponry and want to take advantage of the other's knowledge. They seem to at least respect one another and both are hoping to improve in the other's specialty field. When you think of it that way, it seems rather intuitive." Haldir remarked as he watched Belegwen shoot her bow once again with her newly adjusted grip.

Haldir turned to face Rumil after he overheard his brother sigh. "I suppose you are right. I just worry about him upsetting her. Belegwen has enough on her plate right now." He answered cautiously before asking, "How has she been faring recently gwador?"

"So far we have found two things that trigger her memories. Thusly, we have been avoiding them to try and prevent further episodes." Haldir replied warily as he remembered Belegwen's violent reactions to him whispering in her ear and holding her arms down during intimacy. "Linedhel is trying a special type of spirit healing on her to see if he can dampen the effects of those particular memories, but the brain's reaction to such healings is often fickle and he is uncertain whether or not it will be a success."

"And if it does not work… What then?" Rumil questioned, looking at Haldir curiously. "Will you simply have to live with the memories?"

"Perhaps." Haldir answered with a grimace. He hated the idea of Belegwen suffering with this problem long term and was trying to remain hopeful for the future. "It is also possible the effects of the memories will fade over time as she learns to deal with the trauma she endured."

"Would you ever consider sailing west with her if she was unable find healing here?" Rumil asked quietly, leaving an uncomfortable silence between the two brothers. Haldir knew in his heart that this was an option, albeit one he was not ready to explore just yet. Hearing it now from his brother unleashed a stirring of anxiety within his heart as he thought about what he considered to be his last resort.

"Yes," he murmured as he cringed at the thought. "Not unless I absolutely have to though. I have pledged my life to the lord and lady, as has Belegwen. It would be best for us to stay until they choose to leave, if possible. I would see my oath fulfilled in full, as would Belegwen. I am certain she feels the same way about this matter."

Haldir shook his head as he became frustrated with the direction of the conversation. "Let us not dwell on such a depressing topic any longer. Tell me, what news do you have concerning our project?"

He watched as his brother's face lit up with a mixture of mischief and joy at the very thought. "Worry not gwador; even as we speak, a few wardens are working on it. As long as everything goes according to plan, we should be done by next week. Once we know Belegwen's schedule for your wedding day, I will find some wardens to help me transfer everything quickly and efficiently."

"Very good." Haldir said, enjoying the thought of surprising Belegwen in such a large way. "Thank you for your help with this and with the rings. I could not have done this without you—not in my current state." He said, frowning as he looked down at the cane in his hand. Truly, he was needing the assistance less and less as the weeks passed by, but it was still frustrating that it was taking him so long to recover. There was nothing he wanted more at this point than to regain full control over his body and return to his former level of physical fitness.

Rumil smiled back at him and squeezed his shoulder with his hand. "I am happy to help you gwador. That is what family is for. Seeing to your happiness with Belegwen is an absolute pleasure and delight."

"Speaking of Belegwen, do make sure you find some time to stop by and visit with her soon." Haldir directed him as he started to turn away. "She misses your company and is starting to become suspicious because she has seen so little of you over the last week."

"Of course she is!" Rumil said with a laugh, unsurprised by this predicament. "Hmm… I shall have to think of something to throw her off the trail. Perhaps news of my latest dalliance with an elleth would be sufficient enough explain my absence."

"Oh? And who is the lucky elleth this time?" Haldir questioned, grinning salaciously at his brother. He was instantly prepared to commence teasing him once more about making his rounds through the city.

"There is not one currently, but I am sure one can be found if a legitimate excuse is needed to keep the project a secret." Rumil answered with an eye roll, knowing precisely where Haldir had been about to go with the conversation. "I am quite popular in the city, so it should not pose a problem."

Now it was Haldir's turn to roll his eyes, as his brother had clearly puffed himself up to a new level of pride. He briefly wondered if he was in good enough shape to wrestle Rumil to the ground and take him down a few pegs as he used to do with Orophin. Deciding the pain would be worthwhile, Haldir pushed his brother onto the ground and had soon kicked up a large cloud of dirt as he finagled him into a headlock on the dusty path that led through the training grounds.

He did not let go of Rumil until he cried for mercy, then proceeded to lightheartedly tease him about it, as his status of being the older brother dictated. For his part, Rumil withstood the teasing gladly, enjoying the attention as he always did. Yes, things were starting to feel as they used to between himself and Rumil; Haldir was pleased to be in a close relationship with his brother once more.

ooOoo

"Come, I have a couple of gifts for you." Lord Celeborn said as he began to lead Belegwen up the stairway of the largest mallorn in Caras Galadhon. The two had just finished walking through Galadriel's gardens while enjoying the sunset and now Belegwen followed the Lord of Lorien as he led her up the familiar stairway that spiraled into the heart of the tree.

"My lord, such things are unnecessary-" Belegwen started, only to be cut off by Celeborn's rather insistent voice.

"Since when has doting on a beloved family member ever been unnecessary?" He countered as the two slowly made their way up the stairs, side by side. The magical blue lights of the city were shining down on them, cutting through the darkness. "I only seek to give you the same attention your adar would if he were here to partake in these joyous times with you."

Belegwen flushed a bit, but nodded with acceptance, as she did not wish to hurt Lord Celeborn's feelings. Together they headed towards the lord and lady's personal quarters once they had ascended to the top of the tree.

Stepping into Lord Celeborn's private office, Belegwen found herself surrounded by the familiar walnut-stained bookshelves and the smell of musty old scrolls that dated back to the second and first ages. His large desk sat in the corner, facing towards the open balcony. There were also a few pieces of comfortable looking furniture in the center of the room, including a burgundy settee and three brown leather-winged chairs.

A couple of small end tables held golden shining oil lamps, which dispelled some of the blue magical light of Lorien with a warmer glow through stained glass lampshades. The fanciful designs of nature on the shades were cast upon the walls, creating the shadows of leaves, flowers, and trees on the darkened walls around the room.

It was here that Belegwen had received much of her schooling, having been tutored daily by the lord during her formative years. While Celeborn was heading behind a free-standing divider, which was painted with famous historical scenes from the First Age, Belegwen basked in the memories of days gone by. Her fingers gently traced scroll after scroll, which were stacked haphazardly in a pile on one of the bookshelves as she remembered her days of studying in this room as Lord Celeborn went about the business of maintaining the city.

Being in the room made the memories come to life again, as if they had just occurred yesterday. Many good memories had taken place in here, as well as a couple of her worst. Belegwen shivered as her mind briefly returned to the darkest of days…

_The door swung open abruptly after the warden banged on it violently over and over again. A flash of silver robes caught Belegwen's eyes as she looked up at the lord of Lorien himself. Even in her current state, she could tell he looked alarmed._

_"My Lord Celeborn, I am sorry for coming in unannounced, but I have urgent news from the borders."_

_"What has happened?"_

_"A terrible tragedy, my lord. A few orcs escaped into the woods during a large border skirmish and made it all the way to the outskirts of the city. My lord, they entered Belegond's talan and murdered him and most of his family."_

_A loud intake of air could be heard and then deeply penetrating silence lingered between them as Lord Celeborn studied her with unreadable eyes. "Belegwen has survived?"_

_"She is the only one, my lord. We found her hidden in a broom closet. The others… they have perished." He whispered emotionally. Belegwen felt him squeeze her shoulders as he stood behind her while the lord's intense blue eyes settled on her, full of grief and remorse for her situation. Unable to withstand the emotion in his eyes, Belegwen looked at the floor and shivered as a wave of anguish nearly overtook her. Their words had forced her to remember what she had seen when she opened the unlatched door to their talan-_

"Belegwen? Are you well?" Lord Celeborn asked, rousing her from her darkest memory when his hand rested upon her own. A few scrolls rolled off the shelf because of the added weight simultaneously as Belegwen returned to the present time with a gasp.

"Yes. A memory of the past was lingering in my mind, but I am well." She replied, smiling a bit to try and reassure him. Lord Celeborn did not fall for her feeble attempt at hiding her feelings though and quickly embraced her. The warmth of his arms brought her some temporary relief from the pain that was dwelling within her heart.

Sighing, she quickly came to the conclusion that Haldir must have told Celeborn about her lingering memories from the battle. While she was not thrilled about him knowing, she understood why Haldir would tell him. After all, Lord Celeborn was like family to her and had been for over 3,000 years now. He would want to know if Belegwen was struggling and would try to help if he could. That side of him had never gone away, not even now that she had been fully-grown for several millennia.

When he drew away from her, he kissed her on the cheek and reassured her by saying, "You will heal and be whole once more. Haldir will help you through this; he loves you deeply and wants the best for you. You could not have chosen a better ellon as your hervenn Belegwen."

This time, Belegwen's smile was genuine as she nodded in agreement. "He is truly wonderful and I am blessed to be by his side."

Belegwen's happiness was short-lived though, as the scene with the warden who saved her flashed through her mind once again. She knew Lord Celeborn was probably the only one who could tell her the identity of the warden, though she had always been afraid to ask him. Like many in the city, Celeborn also did not relish reliving those particular memories and Belegwen did not want to force them upon him.

Today she was feeling particularly courageous though and the warden had been on her mind more and more recently. She had dreamed about the broom closet multiple times since she had returned from Helm's Deep. Belegwen believed the vision she had of her adar had brought the long ignored memories back to a place of prominence within her mind. Now, she desired to know who he was more than ever before.

Bolstering her courage as best she could, Belegwen forced herself to begin what promised to be an uncomfortable conversation. "My lord… There is something I have been meaning to ask you for a while now; something I wish to know about from that day… the day my family passed." She said, stumbling over her words in her nervously.

Sensing this would be a serious conversation, Celeborn silently gestured her over to the burgundy settee and they sat side by side with their knees angled towards one another. The lord gently took Belegwen's hand in his own and asked, "What is it you would like to know?"

"I do not remember the warden who saved me; the one who brought me to you in this very room. Will you tell me who he was and what has become of him?" Belegwen asked tentatively, not fully convinced as to whether or not she was prepared to hear the answer to her own inquiry.

Lord Celeborn watched her for a long while as a series of emotions flickered through Belegwen's mind. At last, he squeezed her hand to reassure her and looked at her with sad acknowledgement of her pain. "Why do you wish to know now, after all this time?" He asked earnestly, clearly trying to understand her mindset.

"I-I just want to thank him. I do not believe I have ever seen him since the day of the tragedy, so I am assuming he must have moved on from Lorien or sailed shortly afterwards." She admitted. "It would be nice to know if he is well. I want to make sure he knows how appreciative I am of all the things he did for me on that day."

The lord nodded in response, but his gloomy expression did not change. "I have the answer to your inquiry Belegwen, but the lady has advised against it. She has seen something in her mirror that suggests it would be best to wait and find out in due time."

"She thinks I will eventually find out on my own then?" She asked while feeling confused and a bit let down by his answer. "Please help me understand—what reason could there possibly be for withholding this information?"

Celeborn closed his eyes and took a breath before answering. "I realize it seems unfair for me to withhold this from you and for that, I am very sorry. However, the lady has told me that knowing will cause a great pain within you; she says you will be unable to endure it at this time. Already, you struggle with the horrible memories of that day as well as the trauma of the battle. To add this on top of everything else is a recipe for disaster." He said, then lowered his voice more. "She does not want you to fade. Not now that you have Haldir and your son to think of."

Belegwen looked down at her lap and watched as she moved her clenched hands together nervously. Truly, Celeborn was as wise as the legends said, for he had seen what she had thought only she could see. He and the lady both somehow knew that Belegwen was at the very brink of what she could endure. One wrong move and she would fall from the precipice into the welcoming arms of the sea.

She did not want that for herself, not when she was about to marry Haldir. Not when she desperately wanted to watch Halendil grow up in Lothlorien as she had all those years ago. No, she needed to be strong and move forward. She did not want anything to hold her back from having the future she desired.

Slowly, Belegwen started to nod and looked up to find the Lord of Lorien staring at her intensely. "Okay." She agreed. "I do not understand how it could cause me pain, but the lady has never steered me in the wrong direction before. I will trust her judgment on this matter."

Lord Celeborn squeezed her hand and reassured her. "Belegwen, you will meet this warden again. At some point, it will become unavoidable and when it does…" He said, pausing as she blinked the tears out of her eyes, "Then, you will understand."

Belegwen nodded again, then let go of Celeborn's hands and wiped at her eyes as he stood up. "Now, let me see about those gifts. Perhaps they will lighten the mood a bit."

With a small, sad-looking smile adorning his face, the silver-haired lord beckoned her to follow him to the divider. Once she had followed him over, Lord Celeborn reached behind the divider and said, "This is long overdue, but better late than never."

His hands then revealed a finely crafted metal scabbard and belt, much like the one Haldir had worn to battle, but clearly having been crafted for a much smaller sword. The silver flank gleamed in the light above them as Belegwen slowly took the present from Lord Celeborn's hands and admired the inherent craftsmanship of the elves. In the lamplight, a subtly engraved mellyrn leaf pattern became visible, but disappeared when she moved the scabbard into the shadows.

"My lord, I do not know what to say," Belegwen murmured as she next inspected the belt, which also had the same faint pattern engraved upon it. She gently fiddled with the latch that would hold it tightly to her hips, finding it strong and sturdy. "It is a most wonderful gift. Thank you!"

"You need not say anything, as it pleases me to grant you the honor of owning this." Lord Celeborn said. "I had the scabbard molded to be an exact fit with your sword the day Haldir took it to Valtaur to have it sharpened. It is past time that you owned the mark of a marchwarden. Do try it on."

Upon hearing his request, Belegwen quickly swung the belt around her body and latched it in the front. She was relieved to find that it was much lighter than Haldir's belt and did not hinder her range of motion much differently than her leather sword belt.

"It fits perfectly." Belegwen stated as she walked around a bit to get a feel for the new weight and positioning of the scabbard.

"I had hoped as much. I also believe it will look perfect when you wear it atop this." Celeborn said, then pushed the divider aside to reveal something more.

Belegwen's blue eyes widened at the sight. "Oh my. My lord, I have not worn anything such as that in… well…"

"A few millennia?" Lord Celeborn asked with a chuckle. "Yes, I daresay I have not seen you in such since you were occupying these halls with me."

Belegwen stared at the present before her for over a minute before she shook her head and murmured, "It is too much. I will not be accepted as a marchwarden if I wear such a thing-"

"Nonsense." Lord Celeborn countered. "The wardens have come too far to see you as anything other than a marchwarden at this point."

Still, Belegwen frowned as she remembered her 21 years of growing up with Lord Celeborn fathering her in Belegond's place. She quietly argued, "They will compare with Celebrian again if I wear that."

Dealing with comparisons had been one of the hardest parts of living with the lord during Belegwen's formative years. Why it always happened, Belegwen did not know. Perhaps it was because she was another elleth being raised by Lord Celeborn or possibly because they both shared the same silver-colored hair. Either way, Belegwen had always struggled with overhearing random elves compare her and Celebrian to one another.

The two could not have been any less alike though. Celebrian had been a very calm, peaceable elleth who was of the mindset that elves should not harm any living things, but instead heal them. On the other hand, Belegwen had a bit of a defiant streak within her and liked to have things her way. She never had any qualms about doing what was necessary to defend the forest either and would not even bat an eye before shooting an orc. Once her family had been killed, Belegwen had felt it was her duty to defend the other elves and prevent tragedies such as hers from reoccurring.

Though Belegwen had never met her, Celebrian's memory always seemed to be a dark cloud lingering over her. It was as if Celebrian was the very height of what elven society should look like and Belegwen could never hope to measure up.

The worst part of it was that Belegwen did not even want to be like Celebrian. She had only ever desired for the elves of the city to say she was like her adar. However, no one wanted to dwell on the tragedy that had befallen Belegond and his family, so it was rare for anyone to offer her any comments regarding him other than condolences. Linedhel had been the first elf other than Celeborn to speak openly about Belegond without mentioning his death during the last 3,000 years.

"I knew this was once a source of frustration for you Belegwen. Tell me, do those feelings truly still linger inside you after all of this time? If so, is it really such a horrible thing that you would refuse this gift?" Lord Celeborn asked quietly. The question was not what caught Belegwen's attention though; it was the sadness in his voice that brought her out of her faded memories.

Belegwen knew she had filled a void in Lord Celeborn that was left by the tragedy that had befallen Celebrian all those years ago. His daughter had been precious to him and her untimely sailing had broken his heart. Upon seeing Belegwen so lost and afraid the day her family had been ripped away from her, there had been no hesitation on Celeborn's part. Immediately, Belegwen had been accepted as if she was his own flesh and blood.

He had not been able to save Celebrian from her fate, but he had saved Belegwen from hers. However, Belegwen could see in this moment that she had not filled the empty void in his heart; at least, not fully. Could anything fill the void of such a loss? Having now feared for her own son, Belegwen knew for herself that nothing could.

Lord Celeborn was still broken from it all these years later, as any loving adar would be. He needed a daughter of his own to feel complete and Belegwen was the only one who could currently fill that void.

Perhaps being compared with Celebrian for a night would be not be so bad after all…

"No," Belegwen finally answered, hoping to dispel the sadness that remained in the lord's blue eyes. "It would not be so bad."

"Very well then. I chose this gift for you because of your recent realization. Now that you know you can be both a warden and a wife, I thought perhaps you might like to embrace the newer side of yourself." He replied softly as he indicated the gift in front of him with a flourish of his hand. "A side that has long been lost."

Belegwen slowly looked back at the extravagant gift. "This will definitely show a different side of me to the ranks. Are you certain they will not refuse me as a marchwarden if I show up wearing this?" She asked calmly, looking to the lord for wisdom.

For his part though, Celeborn merely grinned down at her and said, "If they do not, you can simply challenge a few of them to duel you the next day. You will promptly put them back in their place—flat onto their backsides, I presume!" He said with a chuckle.

Then, in a more serious tone, he continued. "I doubt it will happen though Belegwen. You should not underestimate the wardens. They honestly do want you as a leader now. They would not have begged for you to be released from the trial if they did not feel thusly."

Sighing, Belegwen decided to give in, if for no other reason than to make Lord Celeborn happy. For one night, she could be another Celebrian if it would bring joy to his heart. After all, he had helped her in countless ways over the years. Perhaps by wearing this and giving the old elven lord what he had always hoped for, she could help him in return.

"I will try it then." She said, walking closer and taking some of the delicate fabric into her hand. After inspecting it a long while, she looked back with a smirk on her face. "Do you think Haldir will even recognize me in this?"

With a quiet laugh, he replied. "I am sure he will, my dear. I am sure he will."

ooOoo

"Scattered all over evenly would look best!"

"No, let's do a waterfall with more at the top and less at the bottom!"

Belegwen rolled her eyes as Rumil and Kalwen, one of Galadriel's ladies in waiting, argued over the best way to place a handful of tiny crystals into her hair. Kalwen had been sent to help Belegwen get ready for the wedding, but Rumil had already promised to do her hair ahead of time. Now the two ex-lovers were butting heads over the silliest of things, which Belegwen found to be rather obnoxious.

Uncomfortable with the scene the two were causing in Galadriel's spacious powder room, Belegwen quietly wandered away from them to look in the golden, full-sized mirror again. She sighed as she saw a side of herself she was rather uncomfortable with. She had not worn a dress in nearly three millennia now and it felt odd to don one again after spending her years in breaches and a tunic.

She could openly acknowledge that Celeborn had good taste though and had chosen well. The dress was made of white satin with a lacy overlay. The lace had been woven into a large mallorn leaf pattern, letting her skin show through on the tight long sleeves before it met up with the sleeveless satin dress beneath. The lace was made up of white, gold, and silver threads that were intermingled and gave the white dress a shiny gold and silver shimmer when it caught the light. The dress clung tightly to Belegwen's arms and curves, showing off her tiny figure and fanning out a bit below the hips.

When Belegwen turned to the side, she could see that her body was completely healed from the pregnancy at this point. Her breasts were still larger than before, but her torso had finally returned to normal, much to her delight.

Looking up, she admired the work Rumil had done on her hair thus far. Dozens of tiny braids were intermingled with unbraided locks of silver hair all over her head. As it was a particularly special occasion, he had also heated some large metal rollers up in the hearth and then wrapped both the braids and loose locks in them to form large curls that rolled playfully down Belegwen's back.

This alone made her look like she was a completely different elf. Such finery was normally reserved for elves of a much higher status than she. However, Rumil had argued that her connection to Lord Celeborn and her new position as marchwarden dictated that she was of a high enough status for this unlikely look. When Kalwen had agreed, Belegwen had let the two of them set about their work, not wanting to start an argument the only time the pair had managed to agree with one another that night.

"Belegwen, which would you prefer? Crystals evenly dispersed over your head or more on the top and less on the bottom?" Rumil asked her grumpily, clearly seeking her favor for his side of the argument.

"I would prefer none at all. If the two of you cannot come to an agreement, then that is how I will exit this room." She threatened, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"No!" They both shouted simultaneously, then continued to squabble. Thankfully, they both had the grace to stop when Tinuloth came in with Halendil, who was squealing with glee in her hands.

"Nana! Umi!" He called out joyfully as he caught sight of Belegwen and Rumil. Belegwen watched as Tinuloth struggled to keep a hold of the squirming elfling who was now reaching for two of his favorite elves rather insistently. Quickly stepping forward, Belegwen plucked her little ball of energy out of Tinuloth's grasp, giving him a quick toss into the air, which drew another silly squeal from the little ellon's lips.

Looking over her little one, Belegwen admired the fine white tunic with gold and silver mellyrn leaves upon its lapels. The little one's look was complete with black leggings and the tiniest black elfling boots, which were soft to the touch. She drew her hand over the top of his head to ruffle the sprinkling of silver hairs that had started to emerge a couple of weeks ago and then kissed the elfling upon the head.

"Kalwen, the lady is requesting your assistance in the green room." Tinuloth relayed, causing Kalwen to grumble about the crystals one last time before exiting the room quickly with a huff.

Belegwen mouthed the words 'thank you' to Tinuloth, who winked at her before quickly following Kalwen out the door. Meanwhile, Rumil proceeded to start layering a waterfall of crystals into her large silver curls. He hummed a merry tune as he worked, occasionally reaching in front of Belegwen to tickle Halendil, causing him to giggle and peek behind Belegwen's shoulder to see what 'Umi' was doing.

"So… What's this I hear about you with a new elleth? Should I prepare to meet this special someone or is it another flight of fancy?" Belegwen asked quietly as she smoothed down the hairs on Halendil's head, which had become ruffled while he played with Rumil.

"It will probably be just a bit of fun," he replied quietly, clearly focusing more on getting her hair to look just right than on the conversation. "I have only been with her for a few weeks now. We barely know each other."

"Hmm," was Belegwen's only reply as she felt him twisting the little crystals into place throughout her hair. "Do you ever think about finding someone to marry Rumil?"

She felt him stop messing with her hair for a moment while he considered it for a moment. "Honestly, I had not entertained the thought much until recently. I have presumed for a long while now that I was happy with the lifestyle I have always had. However, now that I have seen what you share with Haldir, I would be lying if I did not say that I would like to experience something similar."

As he set about finishing her hair again, Belegwen murmured, "I would like to see you happy too Rumil. I hope you find her."

"Me too." He said quietly, before countering his own words. "I am happy though Belegwen. It is a joy to spend these days with you and my brother." He said as he clutched her shoulders gently for a moment.

"And then there's this lad." He stated as he peeked out from behind Belegwen's shoulder and surprised Halendil, who called out, giggled, and clapped before trying to grab for Rumil. He responded by ruffling Halendil's hair once more, much to Belegwen's annoyance. "He brightens every day with his smiles and is a joy to be around. Being an uncle has turned out to be a wonderful affair indeed."

"I am glad it brings you joy." Belegwen replied as she bounced Halendil happily on her lap. "I do not believe I have gotten the chance to thank you for all of your help with him on the journey home. You have done much for us both Rumil, going well beyond your promise to Haldir. I wanted to make sure you know how grateful I am. I could not have done any of this without you."

"Think nothing of it Belegwen. It was my pleasure to help. You have been my friend since before Haldir announced his feelings for you and I would have helped you with or without a promise because you are important to me." She heard him say as she felt his hands leave her hair again.

Belegwen caught sight of him grinning at her as he turned her so she was facing the mirror once more. He watched her as she admired the crystals in her hair, nodding to him in approval of their placement. "Never in a thousand years did I think I would see myself looking like this…" She murmured, more to herself than to Rumil.

"You are now both an elleth and a warden. A perfect blend of the two." Rumil commented as he took Halendil into his arms so Belegwen could better see herself.

"Almost. I think I need a couple more things." She said, then went and opened the closet where her belongings had been stashed for the day. She returned wearing her new sword belt, complete with Nimrodel's hilt sticking out. The silver metal shined in the soft blue light of the room. Her leaf pin was in her other hand and she gently pinned it over her heart while looking in the mirror. "There. Now I am both an elleth and a marchwarden."

"And beautiful. Don't forget you are beautiful." Rumil said with a grin, pulling her in towards him to kiss her cheek as she admired her finished look. "Haldir will be speechless when he sees you."

"He will probably wonder who this elleth is he's marrying and what she has done with Belegwen." She said with a smirk. Underneath it all though, she was quite nervous. She had taken care for so long to not show anyone this side of herself, as she did not want to give any wardens a reason to try and remove her from the ranks or doubt her abilities. To parade herself in front of them dressed this way still felt like a risk.

"Ha! Unlikely. Come, Lord Celeborn awaits you outside the door." He said, gesturing for her to leave as Halendil pulled at his own braids. "It is time."

Indeed, she found the lord of Lorien waiting outside the door for her. A gasp escaped his lips when he saw her and immediately, he placed a fist over his lips. He appeared to be overwrought with emotion at the sight of her. A tear glistened on his cheek as he walked over and embraced his long-time ward.

"I did not think this day would ever come." Celeborn said emotionally, kissing her on the forehead before pulling away from her. "Belegond would have been so proud, as am I. You look perfect, my dearest marchwarden."

"Thank you my lord," Belegwen answered timidly, giving him a bow of acknowledgement.

"Shall we?" He asked her as he offered her his arm. She took it gently.

"Yes." She replied with a large smile adorning her glowing face. "I am ready."

ooOoo

Haldir stood in front of the high table in the large gathering area designated for city events. Sitting in the top of four conveniently planted mellyrn, the room's glass ceiling was covered in beautifully crafted metal leaves. The light of the moon shined down through the metalwork, casting leafy shadows onto the white marble floor where dancing would later take place.

The glow of Lorien's magical light was much brighter in this special room, with several lamps illuminating its walls with hues of blue, green, and white in areas. Candles brought a warmer glow to the tables below that were covered with a variety of potted plants and decanters of wine. This was where the wardens, their families, and the other elves of the city were gathering, talking and making merriment while taking their seats.

Several gasps and whispers broke out amongst the crowd, which made Haldir immediately look around to find its source. Ah… His brother had arrived at the head table, holding Halendil in his hands. The youngest elf of the city often attracted the attention of many, as there had not been an elfling in Caras Galadhon in over 50 years. Already he could see many ellyth smiling and waving at the cheerful youngling, who giggled and clapped. Upon spotting Haldir, he reached out to him and cried, "Ada!"

"Did you miss me, ion-nin?" Haldir asked the little ellon as Rumil handed him over to Haldir before taking a seat next to Bragolith at the table.

"Ada!" Halendil answered with glee, which was followed by some babbling. The little one grabbed onto one of Haldir's braids and tried to stick it into his mouth before Haldir stopped him. Haldir distracted him by bouncing him in the air and tickling him underneath his chin. As he played with his son, he noticed that someone had bothered to dress him in a replica of the outfit Haldir was wearing tonight—a white tunic with gold and silver leaves embroidered down the lapels with black breeches and boots. He chuckled a bit at the inanity of this little detail, knowing some elleth had probably thought such a thing would be 'cute.'

"Is Belegwen almost ready?" He asked Rumil once he was certain his hair was out of grabbing range.

"Yes, she is ready. I imagine we will start once the lady arrives." He replied, signaling for Haldir to hand Halendil back to him.

Excited to be handed back to his uncle, Halendil cried out, "Umi!" Rumil received the little one and sat him on his lap, pulling out a stuffed doe for the little one play with while they waited. Rumil made the toy lope across the table several times and Halendil's eyes were entranced with it. He tried to grab it repeatedly and giggled when Rumil made it move across his shoulder and onto his head.

Haldir smiled at them before turning back to the front of the room, where Lady Galadriel had finally made her appearance. As if riding on a cloud, the lady floated across the dais towards Haldir until she stood next to him. He bowed in respect towards her and she nodded to him as well before turning to the quieted room.

"Welcome one and all to the Warden's Ball. Tonight will be a night full of laughter, food, and dancing—a joyous time indeed. We have come together in celebration of the wardens of Lothlorien. The safety they have provided our great city over the years is unmatched in other nations. By putting their lives on the line on a daily basis, we are able to live our lives in peace, without the fear of invasion. Their burdens are heavy and their sacrifices are great. Let their devotion to the elves of these woods be honored tonight!"

Applause broke out amongst the tables. Haldir looked at the long tables closest to him, eyeing the wardens before him. Dressed in their uniforms with their leaf pins proudly displayed at the top of their tunics, they were the pride of the golden woods on this night. His own leaf pin was attached to his heart, the location that was appropriate when wearing it on anything other than the warden's uniform.

Meeting the lady's eyes with his own, Haldir smiled at her as she proceeded. "Tonight, we also celebrate a most joyous union between our two marchwardens, Haldir and Belegwen. Together, they have served the golden woods for countless years and have taken their vows of protection to these woods most seriously. Tonight they will enter into a new set of vows to show their devotion to one another. We are blessed to be witnesses to such vows on this night."

Haldir nodded at Galadriel, who in turn looked across the room to the large double doors leading to the great hall. Two elves pulled the doors open and revealed Lord Celeborn, who was holding Belegwen by the arm.

What a sight she was to behold! Haldir's eyes widened exponentially, as he had not seen Belegwen wear a dress since shortly after she had come of age. Even then, they were almost always simple frocks; the only exception had been the night of her coming of age party, where she had been dressed quite extravagantly.

This though—this was something else entirely. To Haldir, she looked as if she was royalty, dressed in the finest satin dress with gold and silver lace shimmering in the changing light. Her hair was done in a style that looked as if it had come straight off the Lady Celebrian; her fat silver curls and braids were woven with tiny crystals, causing her head to sparkle as if it was laden with stars.

How she moved as she walked was what truly captivated Haldir. Though Lord Celeborn escorted her down the stairs, Belegwen needed no introduction. She walked in with her head held high. Her confident stride was that of a marchwarden, not an elleth. One of her hands rested comfortably on the hilt of Nimrodel, which hung from her side in its new metal sword belt. The mark of the marchwarden seemed to suit her and looked oddly natural over the dress she had worn for the occasion.

As the two made their way down the staircase and into the great hall, warden after warden took a bow of respect before their lord and their marchwarden. As they made their way across the room towards him, Haldir could not take his eyes off her. He was enthralled by her looks and the feelings of love and excitement that were radiating off of her through their bond.

The feelings only intensified when their eyes met at last. Her blue orbs sparkled with joy and he heard her breath catch in her mouth as she looked up to meet his gaze from upon the dais. His heart practically leapt from his chest when the pair ascended the stairs leading up to him at long last.

Finally, she would be his in all ways! He had won her heart and now it was his to protect. He promised himself internally that he would always hold it carefully, never to let it go.

Haldir held his arm out to her in invitation when only a mere stair separated Belegwen from him. He watched as Celeborn leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, then gently took her hand from the hilt of her sword and placed it on Haldir's offered arm. "Take care of her." Lord Celeborn bid him as he bowed down before the lord of Lorien, Belegwen reflexively bowing to him as well.

"I will," Haldir pledged as he came back up and met the lord's eyes. He saw the trust there and was pleased that Celeborn seemed satisfied with the match. Turning towards the lady now, Haldir and Belegwen both bowed together before her too. When he arose, Haldir could not contain himself any longer and gently lifted her hand off his arm for a moment to kiss it before setting it back in its place on the crook of his elbow. Meeting Belegwen's almond-shaped eyes for a moment, the two admired one another before turning to the lady to begin the ceremony.

The lady took a large box from the table and opened it to reveal a small silver circlet, which was comprised of several small curved pieces of silver that were intricately intertwined, dipping down in the front to wrap gracefully around a large crystal. "This was worn by Haldir's naneth on her wedding day." Galadriel said as Belegwen leaned forward to receive it. The lady gently pushed the circlet into her mass of curly silver hair. Haldir saw how the light caught the crystal and thought it looked perfect on her. He was pleased to see her wearing one of his family heirlooms.

A second, smaller box was retrieved by the lady from the table and opened before Haldir, revealing a golden ring with swirling scrolls surrounding a large blue sapphire stone. "And this was worn by Belegwen's adar on his wedding day." When Haldir held out his hand, the lady gently pushed it onto his ring finger. It was a lovely ring indeed. He felt Belegwen's fingers rub his shoulder gently and looked down to see that her eyes were full of emotion and unshed tears. She gently leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek before admiring the ring on his finger and gripping his arm tightly.

"Please face one another." The lady commanded and the two complied, letting go of one another briefly. Lady Galadriel then took Belegwen's hand and set it over Haldir's leaf pin, directly on his heart. She also took Haldir's hand and did the same so they were both touching one another's hearts to take their vows.

"Belegwen, please repeat after me," Lady Galadriel said gently, looking at Belegwen. However, Belegwen was busy looking at him, her eyes glistening in the bright blue light of the Lorien Halls. Haldir felt her heart start to pound a little faster underneath the warmth of her hand as he heard her echo the words he had longed to hear.

"In the name of Eru Iluvatar, I pledge myself to you, Haldir Galadirion."

"In the name of Eru Iluvatar… I pledge myself to you, Haldir Galadirion." Belegwen echoed softly, her eyes never leaving his as she made her vow.

"I promise to love you and care for you for all the days of eternity, never to forsake you."

"I promise to love you and care for you… for all the days of eternity… never to forsake you." Belegwen vowed, her hand shaking a bit on his heart as she became emotional. He could feel her love and devotion for him through their bond and reveled in the moment as she took her vow.

"Haldir, please repeat after me," the lady bid him. Haldir was fast to comply, eager to complete the union.

"In the name of Eru Iluvatar, I pledge myself to you, Belegwen Belegondiel."

"In the name of Eru Iluvatar, I pledge myself to you, Belegwen Belegondiel." He echoed confidently, feeling her heart flutter upon hearing his pledge.

"I promise to love you and care for you for all the days of eternity, never to forsake you."

"I promise to love you and care for you for all the days of eternity, never to forsake you." He said gently as he flooded their bond with his love for her, hoping to show her precisely how much he meant what he said.

"Repeat this part together," the lady bid the couple and they happily complied.

"When I walk through fire, I will stay by your side."

"When I walk through fire, I will stay by your side." They said in tandem, using their bond to speak together with clarity. Haldir felt her love for him flood the bond as well and he relished the feeling of being completely unified with her.

"When I stroll through the peaceful valley, I will rejoice alongside you."

Haldir felt the bond's tingling increase under his fingers as he stared into Belegwen's eyes. Was it possible this ceremony would draw them even closer to one another?

"When I stroll through the peaceful valley, I will rejoice alongside you." They said in a unified voice. Haldir smiled down her, as he could tell she meant every word.

"In the best of times and in the worst of times, for all time, we will be united as one flesh."

"In the best of times and in the worst of times, for all time, we will be united as one flesh." They said as a greater power passed between them, causing both to gasp internally as the bond tightened. When Belegwen's eyes widened, Haldir knew she had felt it too.

"Forever and always, may this be our vow." Galadriel finished.

"Forever and always, may this be our vow." They said together, concluding their vows. Belegwen removed her hand from his heart and Haldir let his hand slide onto her shoulder, caressing down her arm until he took her hand into his own once again. He gingerly grabbed her other hand too and squeezed them both in his own as he smiled down at her.

Lady Galadriel held out a third box to Haldir, which he opened to reveal their wedding rings. They were of the same leaf design as the silver rings, but were made of gold instead. Haldir handed her the larger of the two and took the smaller of the two into his hand before handing the empty box back to Galadriel.

"With this ring, I thee wed." Haldir said, taking her hand into his once more and slipping off her silver ring gently. He then slowly slid the golden ring onto her pointer finger, looking up to meet her eyes as he did so.

"With this ring, I thee wed." Belegwen replied and also replaced his silver ring with its golden counterpart.

To the side, Haldir caught a glimpse of Lady Galadriel, who was smiling brilliantly at the couple. His heart filled with appreciation for her and Lord Celeborn, who had went out of their way to make sure the city would see their approval of his and Belegwen's relationship. "Thank you," He suddenly whispered to her, "For everything."

"You are very welcome Haldir," Galadriel replied quietly, before announcing to the room. "By the proclamation of the name Eru Iluvatar and the vows that were pledged, you are now to be known as hervenn and hervess for all of eternity."

Haldir smiled down at Belegwen, who smiled back as a tear rolled down her face. "You are mine now." He whispered as he pulled her in close to seal their vows with a kiss. He lifted up her chin in anticipation and drew near to her.

"Forever." She whispered back. His lips then found hers and all time seemed to stop as the two met and became one. The bond tingled vibrantly, causing his arms to be covered in gooseflesh as the passion of their love filled his body and blood with fire. Their minds met in unity as well, filling one another to the brim with their loving emotions.

Belegwen's body felt both firm and soft against his own as he pulled her against him to savor the sweet moment. When the kiss was over, Haldir held her close for a few moments longer, his hand pushing into her delicate silver locks above the nape of her neck. He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead as he held her against him, overcome by the emotion of the moment.

For a long time now, Haldir had dreamt of this moment. At last, she was his! He not only had her bond and body, but also her eternal vow. There was nothing in this world that could tear them apart now.

As they finally separated, Haldir vaguely became aware of the applause of the elves at the tables. He glanced down to see that many of the wardens were pounding their hearts with their fists in approval of the wedding. He gave them a nod, then turned back to Belegwen and quickly wiped the single tear that was trailing down her face, which was adorned with an expression of awe and wonder. Silently, Haldir led her behind the table and sat next to her.

The toasts commenced shortly afterwards, Bragolith speaking on Haldir's behalf and Rumil speaking on Belegwen's. If Haldir was honest though, he heard very little of the toasts because he was so entranced by his hervess and the love shared between them. He found he could do little else other than stare at her as she watched the toasts, admiring the glowing smile on her face and the way the blue light made her silver hair shimmer.

Next came the feast, which led to all the tables being filled with a variety of delicious delicacies. Haldir kept catching Belegwen glancing over at him as they ate. He too, could hardly keep his eyes off her. At one point she winked at him and inwardly, it made Haldir feel young, as if he was once again the strapping suitor at her dance lesson with Lord Celeborn. Truly, he was enjoying every moment of this night and knew he would cherish these memories for thousands of years to come.

After dessert had been completed, Lady Galadriel invited them to the dance floor to share their first dance together as a married couple before the other wardens and their wives joined in. This made Haldir slightly nervous, as he had just started walking around without his cane and was still not fully healed from his injuries. However, the tension was dispelled when he looked into Belegwen's eyes and saw her quiet confidence.

 _"Would you like to help me lead?"_ He asked in her mind's eye, remembering how much she had wanted to control their dance together when they had first met. _"We could use the bond and work together."_

 _"No meleth, the honor is meant to be yours and I want you to have it. I trust you will lead me well. I am willing to follow you for all of eternity."_ She answered kindly as he gently set his hand on her back and took hold of her hand with his own. The two waited for the music to begin, only to both look to their side when a throat cleared near them.

It was Khilrom, the harpist from the day he had attended the dance lesson with Belegwen, all those years ago. He was standing a few paces away from them by the rest of the musicians, his harp poised between his knees in a readied position.

Looking at Belegwen, he whispered in a teasing voice, "Do watch out for his toes this time."

Belegwen laughed brightly for a moment, then lifted her skirt a bit to show off her shoes. "He has nothing to fear tonight, for I am not wearing heals!" She said with a grin, nodding to Khilrom happily before setting her hand upon Haldir's shoulder.

A single violin started to play, which was soon followed by the dulcet tones of a mandolin. Suddenly, Haldir's feet started to move to the music. He was cautious at first, worried he might lose his balance in this moment when the entire city watched them. As the music flowed on and nothing happened, he slowly became more and more certain of himself and began to move Belegwen in more intricate patterns to the lovely duet.

Though Belegwen was allowing him to lead, he could feel her in his mind analyzing his movements in advance, enabling her to move very smoothly with him in time with the song. He gently twirled her around one and a half rotations so she ended up facing away from him. His hands gently rested on her torso as he moved her forward and back while she held her arms out in a graceful position.

Now others were starting to enter the dance floor as well, much to the relief of Haldir. He did not feel fully steady and was happy to no longer be the center of attention. Grinning with a bit of mischief in his smile, he set about trying to tease his hervess.

 _"Meleth… I remembered something the other day from our journey to Helm's Deep."_ He said gently within Belegwen's mind.

 _"Oh? What is that hervenn?"_ She asked in response as he twirled her one and a half rotations and she landed back in his arms facing him. Her eyes looked up at him, the twin blue orbs appearing magical to him as she met his gaze.

 _"There was a day in which you had the most delightful of daydreams…"_ He hinted, winking down at her to see if she would remember. Judging by her stare, she did not. However, Haldir did not allow this to sway him from his goal.

 _"Let me refresh your memory meleth,"_ he said softly. _"In the dream, my finger started here."_ He then touched her lips gently with a gold-banded finger. _"And then it slowly descended until…"_ He murmured, dropping his finger and using his eyes to indicate where it would end.

When he saw the pink flush of her cheeks, Haldir knew she had remembered. _"I did not know you saw that,"_ she replied with embarrassment as he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead, right beside the circlet. _"I should not have been thinking those thoughts during our-"_

Haldir interrupted her guilt trip by saying, _"If there had not been an army of elves behind us, I would have thrown you down and had you right then and there."_ The very thought of it lit a fire in his blood and he knew Belegwen could also feel the tension burning between them as they continued to dance.

 _"After tonight,"_ he continued as his dark stare delved deeply into her eyes, _"It will no longer be a dream, but a pleasant memory."_ He enjoyed the way she gasped inwardly at his words, her cheeks becoming a bit more flushed at the very thought of his proposal. Her eyes lingered on his, so full of want that he nearly hauled her off the dance floor and out the doors of the halls to finish what he had so impishly started.

Unready to be done with these thoughts, he took a moment to show her one of his own vivid daydreams. Together, they watched in their minds as Haldir leaned her against a wall and lifted her muscular leg up higher and higher, until it rested on his shoulder. His eyes met hers and he kissed her calf over and over as he made love to her.

 _"You desire this,"_ he heard Belegwen murmur in his mind. _"Perhaps we will both have some pleasant new memories after tonight."_ She said with a look in her eye that seemed to agree to the challenge he presented.

The desire that lingered between them continued to grow as they danced. Every touch between them sweltered and a raging fire soon burned between them. If he had been a less disciplined elf, Haldir would have already stole away into the night with his hervess, hand in hand. However, he wanted to enjoy the full ceremony and thus they stayed, dancing beneath the light of the stars with the shadows of leaves passing over them as they swept rhythmically across the floor.

Together, they danced through several songs, only stopping when Halendil was in need of his supper. Thus, Haldir waited as Belegwen took the youngling out of the room to feed him. He joyfully accepted well wishes from several elves, including Bragolith and Rumil. Both could not stop expressing their delight at his decision to wed Belegwen.

"You have chosen well Haldir. Belegwen is a delightful elleth, a strong marchwarden, and a wonderful friend." Rumil said as he toasted Haldir yet again. Bragolith and Haldir drank to that vigorously, Bragolith squeezing Haldir on the shoulder as he finished his wine.

"At last, you have caught up to me and found your happiness! It took you long enough, gwador!" Bragolith said cheerfully, pulling Haldir into an awkward hug while he tried not to spill his refilled glass. "Such joy now lies ahead for you and your new family! May Eru Iluvatar rain down countless blessings upon you!"

Their toasting and boisterous conversation continued until Belegwen returned with Halendil, who was surprisingly awake after his supper. "He does not wish to sleep tonight, for some reason." Belegwen stated as she handed him off to Haldir.

"Well, I suppose 'Uncle Umi' can try to sing to him in a half hour or so. Surely he will grow weary by then." Haldir said, gently handing the giggling ellon off to Rumil, who happily received him.

"Do not forget to bring him back after four hours." Belegwen reminded Rumil as he tickled the elfling's chin. "He will become grouchy if he does not get his last meal of the night on time."

"I will be there gwathel," Rumil said reassuringly as he stroked the little one's head gently. "Now off with you both! Make haste and enjoy the night!" He teased, winking at them before he turned away and headed towards a few ellyth who were already 'oohing and ahhing' over young Halendil.

Haldir and Belegwen hugged the remainder of their friends and accepted well wishes before departing the halls. Once they had descended the stairs, Haldir pulled her body against his and kissed her deeply, savoring the feeling of pleasure that rushed through his body and the ever-present tingling of their bond. Then, with a wicked grin, he ran down the street and a teasing chase ensued.

"Haldir!" Belegwen cried out in shock, still breathless from the kiss he had stolen from her.

"Race me!" He cried as he ran down the pathway, glancing back at her with a teasing look on his face. Laughing, he slowed down as he watched her quickly take off her shoes before trying to run after him. When she found her speed severely hampered by the dress, she lifted the bottom up to her knees with her hands and then chuckled lightly and called his name repeatedly as she followed him as best she could.

In spite of his injury, Haldir still found running to be quite natural to him and only stumbled a couple of times as they flew through the streets of Caras Galadhon together, laughing and merrily calling out to one another. Most elves were still in the great hall celebrating the wardens, so there were few who witnessed this most interesting display, as both marchwardens let loose and acted freely upon their desires.

When Haldir next looked back, he could see that Belegwen was gaining on him, as he could not run as fast as he normally did with his injuries. However, he chose to use that to his advantage as they neared his desired destination. At the last possible second, he turned behind the stairwell leading up a large mallorn tree and braced himself tightly before reaching out and swiftly grabbing Belegwen around the waist and pulling her against the tree.

Belegwen shrieked with surprise at this, then giggled as he drew her against himself for another deep, heart-felt kiss. Her laughter soon morphed into a soft moan as he pushed her gently against the bark of the tree and kissed her repeatedly. His fingers dragged lightly down her torso as their mouths fused together, rekindling the fire that had been raging while they danced with one another earlier. Soon he heard Belegwen's shoes clatter to the ground as he took hold of her bare knee, pushing her dress up her leg further as he guided it onto his hip. Reveling in the feel of her, Haldir leaned into her warm, firm body as he kissed her lips, neck, and chest with scalding passion.

"I will love you right here if we tarry much longer," Haldir eventually whispered breathlessly, his lips rubbing gently against her forehead as he released her bare knee from his grasp. Belegwen's leg lowered back down to the ground, her skirts falling back into place along with it.

"Why have you led us here Haldir?" Belegwen murmured airily as she tried to catch her breath from his romantic onslaught. "We have run further away from the warden's halls, rather than towards them."

"I have somewhere else in mind." He said softly, watching as intrigue danced in his hervess' eyes. "Come, I will show you." Taking her hand gently in his, he led her up the steps of the mallorn tree in silence.

The night air felt cool against his body as he climbed the stairway that spiraled around the trunk of the tree. They had passed several telain on their way up, but finally stopped in front of the one at the very top. A canopy of silver leaves rose gracefully over the wooden talan, shining brightly in the blue light of Lorien. A couple of oil lamps were lit on the veranda. The smell of freshly cut wood lingered in the air as the couple made their way towards the well-lit entryway.

"Haldir, who are we visiting?" Belegwen asked, appearing perplexed by what they were doing. "Who lives here?"

Smiling back at her as he led her up the three stairs to the door, Haldir said nothing. "Haldir, I thought…" He heard her start to say, disappointment apparent in her voice, as she still had not caught on to what was happening. Her argument died down though when he opened the door without knocking and stepped carefully inside.

A gorgeous home it was indeed. The floors and walls where made of a honey-stained wood. The front doors opened up to a large living area, complete with two sage settees and four bergere chairs that had white cushions and lavish silver trim. Several glowing lamps were set on small round tables in between the pieces of furniture, which rested atop a finely woven silver and white rug.

The glass ceiling was elevated far above their heads with each large triangular panel of glass meeting in a sharp point at the center of the octagonal room. Elaborate leaf trim that was stained with a dark walnut color lined the ledge where the wood met the glass around the entire room and live plants rested in small silver pots atop the ledge. Though the vines on the plants were small now, Haldir knew they would expand and start to drape around the room over the next two years, the happy leaves reaching up to the glass to try and get closer to the sun.

The right side of the octagon opened up to a lovely kitchen. The cabinets within each had a gorgeous leaf-pattern carved into them and had been stained the same dark walnut color as the trim and tables in the living area. These had a special element to them—a magical paint had been applied to the carved edges of the leaves. This special paint glowed silver at night, illuminating the details of the leaves with a light glow. In the daytime, the leaves would glow gold under the light of the sun. A table with six chairs around it sat in the kitchen, its thick, vine-embellished base the center of attention. Each chair had the same leaf pattern as the cabinets carved into their backs and had soft looking, sage colored cushions on the seats.

"Haldir," Belegwen said again as her eyes roved over the details of the room. "Who lives here?"

He smiled at her as he took her trembling hands into his own. "We do. I had it built for us." He said as he gently squeezed her hands in his own. "I thought we would be better off in a place of our own. The warden's halls are no place to raise an elfling Belegwen. They are far too small and filled with easy access to dangerous weapons of all sorts. This is a much larger and safer area for Halendil, with plenty of places where he can run and play in a year or so."

Belegwen was silent for a very long time, looking him very seriously in the eye. Haldir held his breath momentarily as he awaited some sort of reaction, hoping he had not overstepped his bounds in doing this.

"Haldir," she finally said as she took his head in her hands, "This is the finest talan I have ever seen. I had never even imagined something such as this…" She said, then kissed him on the lips gently and asked in disbelief, "Is it truly ours?"

Nodding merrily, Haldir took her by the hand and led her to the hallway, which was built to curve around the trunk of the mallorn tree, with one wall actually consisting of the tree's exposed bark. He wasted no time showing her the nursery for Halendil, which was decorated with soft blue and silver hues, complete with a finely carved walnut-colored cradle, dresser, changing table, and rocking chair. Belegwen noticed the balcony was fully enclosed with a thick wall, rather than a slatted-railing, making it much safer for when the little one started to crawl and walk.

The final room at the end of the hallway was the master bedroom, which was a large and airy room with an elevated glass ceiling. The moon and stars twinkled down into the room, lighting up the white and silver coverlet on the bed. It had four fluffy pillows up against the dark walnut headboard, which was carved with an elaborate pattern of mellyrn leaves of various sizes. The silver paint from the kitchen accented the veins of the leaves and glowed in the light from the outdoors. Each side of the bed had a small, dark nightstand complete with a crystal lamp on each, glowing warmly in the darkness.

There was a large mirror in the corner, a chest full of drawers, and a locking closet where Belegwen found their collective armor and weapons stored, with room to spare for clothing. Sheer white curtains blew into the room from the balcony, which had a large stone bench complete with light blue cushions on it, as well as a few potted plants.

It was here that Haldir led Belegwen after she had a chance to admire the room and motioned for her to sit next to him on the bench. She sat so close to him that her thigh softly pressed against his own. Haldir tenderly wrapped his arm around her small figure, his hand coming to rest gently over the lace on her waist. "The talan is to your liking then?" He asked again, still not fully convinced that he had satisfied her.

"Oh yes, it is wonderful!" She declared as she leaned into his embrace and pressed one of her hands lightly against his chest. "In fact, it is so wonderful that I can scarcely believe it is real! What a lovely surprise this was Haldir." She said, snuggling her face into the top of his shoulder as he held her close.

"Did I not assure you that I wished to make everything right between us? You are the most important elf in my life, meleth, and I want to have a true married lifestyle with you." Haldir confirmed, using his free hand to lift her chin up so he could look into her eyes. Her skin was smooth and warm beneath his light touch and the power of their bond thrummed at the connection. Once again, he was reminded of how their bond had changed.

"Our vows…" He marveled quietly to himself. "They have further strengthened our bond."

"They have," Belegwen said in agreement, settling back in against his chest to look up at the stars. A silence fell between them for a while as they both stared into the navy blue heavens, the stars shimmering brightly down upon them. Both felt in awe of love they shared and the blessings they had received tonight.

Haldir admired how the moonlight lit up Belegwen's porcelain skin and gleamed atop her silvery hair. His sweet warden was ever so fair and would always be the most beautiful elleth he had ever laid eyes upon. He remembered how she looked that day when he first saw her on the talan he shared with Bragolith at the border. A skinny little thing back then, she had been dressed in a plain lavender gown and had captured his attention with her gorgeous hair and elusive smile.

Now her smile was much more common; she bestowed this little blessing upon him several times each day. Yet, each time it still pleased him and reminded him of how much he wanted to make her smile in his youth. Even today, knowing that he could bring a small measure of joy into her life pleased Haldir greatly.

"The stars are beautiful tonight…" He heard her whisper as he was brought back into reality from the foray he took within his memories. When he looked down, he saw that her gaze was fixed upon him, the very smile he had been daydreaming about lingering on her placid face.

"But not as beautiful as you." He finished quietly, caressing her cheek with the backs of his fingers before tenderly dragging them across her lips. At once filled with a painful longing, he brought his lips down to her own and started to kiss her slowly and deeply until they both were gasping for air and trembling at the power that pulsated between them.

With careful hands, Haldir reached behind Belegwen to start undoing the hooks on the back of her dress. Judging by the loving look on her face, she very much approved of his actions.

ooOoo

Belegwen slowly awoke to the golden sun shining in through the glass ceiling of the newly constructed bedroom. As her eyes blinked their way out of reverie, she became aware of a dull ache in one of her legs and immediately thought back to the night she had shared with her hervenn.

Their first time coming together had been gentle and slow. It had taken a while for Haldir to free her from the elaborate dress she was wearing and once he had, he took his time worshiping every part of her body slowly and reverently, first with his hands and then with his mouth until she thought ever fiber of her being might combust from the heat he drew from her. Soon, she found her fantasy from the trip to Helm's Deep was more than fulfilled. Beneath the stars, he had made love to her on the bench and Belegwen had stared up at them during the aftermath, totally in awe of her luck in finding an ellon like Haldir.

After laying with him under the stars, Belegwen had went to hang up her dress in the closet, only to be caught up in his arms once again and kissed with surprising passion. Needless to say, they had not even made it to the bed the second time. Haldir had fulfilled his own fantasy up against the closet door, lifting her leg onto his shoulder as he loved her with astounding speed and a need that had nearly overwhelmed her through their bond. The two had slid to the floor in the aftermath, staring into one another's eyes and holding each other close with possessive thoughts passing through the bond.

Belegwen smiled, knowing full and well why her leg ached. It had been most enjoyable though and the memory of their coming together was indeed a delightful memory in her mind. Smiling as she remembered all that happened between them, Belegwen turned her attention to the ellon lying next to her.

From the crook of Haldir's arm, Belegwen admired his resting figure. His face was peaceful, his eyes blankly staring up at the ceiling in reverie. He was pleasantly disheveled, Belegwen noted upon seeing how his golden hair, now free from the fancy braids that had adorned it last night, lay spread out gloriously across his pillow, shining beneath the first rays of sunlight that filled the room.

How Belegwen had longed for such a sight. So many times during their relationship had she desired to have something of permanence with him, a promise and the hope of a future spent together. She had thought it only a dream though, something wonderful to hope for, but likely to never be fulfilled. Against all the odds though, Haldir was here with her and they were now wearing matching golden rings, sleeping in a new bed within a talan they could call their own. The expectation of her dream had been fulfilled, perhaps even surpassed.

Remembering what she happened upon in the middle of the night, Belegwen felt her smile grow even larger. She had woken up only to find herself alone in the new bed. Perplexed by this, Belegwen had donned her robe and went in search of Haldir. She did not have to go far though, as she found him in the nursery, holding their son. Rumil had brought the elfling home to them in the middle of the night in order for the Halendil to get his final meal of the night.

What a sight it was to behold though, for Haldir had the sleepy elfling in his arms as he stood on the balcony with him, soothing the fussing little one with his calm voice. She listened, entranced by the sight, as he spoke to the little ellon about his commitment to the city as a warden and about how important it was to protect the other elves. Belegwen beamed with pride upon hearing this, certain in her heart that the elfling would grow up to be much like the honorable ellon whom she now called 'hervenn.'

Haldir was a good adar—he had taken to the job quickly and Belegwen loved watching him with his son. Reassured by finding him, Belegwen had went back to bed, only to be enveloped into his arms upon his return a few minutes later. Words of love had been whispered between them as they had fallen back into a peaceful reverie together.

Now as she caressed his soft tendrils of golden hair, Belegwen felt him begin to stir beside her. She listened to his heart beating beneath her ear until he started to roll towards her, his blue eyes meeting her own in gentle communion. Twirling several tendrils of his shiny hair around one of her fingers, Belegwen tenderly guided them behind his pointy ear before running her hand down them to the bottom, where she beheld the bundle in admiration.

"Good morning my sunshine," came her gentle greeting as she gazed into his expression of love.

"Good morning my starlight," he whispered back, lost in her eyes and all that they shared together.

And in that moment, everything was perfect. At last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Belegwen daydreams about Haldir during the marches in Chapter 36: Glances.
> 
> I'd love to know what you think of the story. Feel free to leave a review below!
> 
> -P.G.


	57. The Time of the Elves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Queen_Lightwood and AnshinDark for the comments! Also, thanks for all the kudos!
> 
> *In this chapter, Halendil begins as a 20-year-old elfling, which is about the equivalent of an 8 year old in this story (where age 50 is when elves reach their majority). As he grows, I will do my best to indicate his current age, as more time will pass than normal in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 57: The Time of the Elves

_20 Years Later…_

"There is nothing to report. It has been a very peaceful fortnight." Belegwen concluded as she spoke with Gilhoth, who had just arrived with a new team of wardens to take over the watch on the northern border for the next fortnight.

"Indeed, it has been an uneventful two weeks." Haldir confirmed as he looked down at Belegwen and grinned internally at the messy braids that adorned her lovely silver head. While he or Rumil often did Belegwen's hair, once in a while she felt like doing her own, as she had today. A certain amount of nostalgia came over Haldir every time he saw his hervess wearing her hair thusly, as it reminded him of her earliest days as a warden. How deeply he had desired her then, thinking he would never get the opportunity to marry her!

He had been wrong though. Belegwen had now been his hervess for 20 delightful years, with each one seemingly better than the last. Though they were still newlyweds according to elvish culture, and would be for at least 180 more years, he knew he had been happier in these last few years than he had in the 3,800 he spent as a single ellon. Belegwen and Halendil were both shining lights in his life and he considered them to be the greatest blessings ever bestowed upon him. Orophin had been right; Haldir would have deeply regretted missing the life he now had and was incredibly grateful for his hervess and family.

Over the course of their marriage, the two marchwardens had finagled the schedule so they could serve on the border at the same time, allowing themselves to always be together, even while protecting the city. This had served them both well, as they had engaged in many border skirmishes during the last few years, but neither had been hurt. They were now in tune with one another through their bond and had become adept at using it to help each other fight. Because of this, neither had sustained an injury other than scratches or bruises. The two married elves worked together as one, using their unity to be more powerful and effective fighters and helping one another stay safe at all times. Ensuring their partner would return home to Halendil was of the utmost importance to both of them and to that goal they stayed true.

Now that the War of the Ring was over, many of the dangers that previously lurked outside their borders had disappeared along with the shadow of darkness. Their job had become much easier, though the consequences of this were beginning to show. Upon the destruction of the one ring, the power of Nenya had waned, causing Lady Galadriel to set sail rather abruptly. Now that she had been gone for a few years, the magical power and protection offered by her ring was starting to fade away.

Indeed, the mellyrn on the edge of the forest had already transformed, their gold and silver leaves losing their luster and turning green, like many of the trees grown by the race of men. They even had started to function like the trees of men, shedding their leaves for the winter season and then growing them back every spring.

The lady's departure had also ushered in a large number of elves deciding they too were ready to move to the Undying Lands. With every passing year, more and more of the elves were setting sail, leaving fewer in the city. There were already talks of moving the borders inward, as the number of wardens had dwindled and those who were left were struggling to watch the entire perimeter effectively.

Lord Celeborn seemed content to linger in the land though and so Haldir did as well. He planned to stay until the very end, fulfilling his duty to protect the Lord of Lorien right up until he boarded a ship at the Grey Havens. Belegwen felt the same way. Both marchwardens also uniformly wanted for Halendil to reach his majority before they sailed; they desired for him to have the same expirences they did while growing up in Lothlorien before they left these shores forever.

"Well, if there is nothing left to report, I shall send you on your way. Enjoy your rest marchwardens! Do say hello to Halendil for me!" Gilhoth called out as he started to walk across the talan to address some wardens who were waiting for him.

"Stay safe!" Belegwen called back to him as she took hold of the ladder leading to the ground and made haste towards the forest floor. Haldir followed intuitively, quickly finding his way to the ground and then whistling up to the talan as a signal for the wardens to roll the ladder back up. He then held out his arm for Belegwen to take and together they started the long journey home, much in the same way as they always did.

"My starlight…" He whispered, looking down into her eyes as he used his free hand to gently rub the tops of her fingers, which were grasping his arm. Her smile beamed back up at him in the golden afternoon light. A knowing look adorned her face.

"My sunshine." She replied, having grown just as accustomed to using the names they had given themselves on their wedding night.

It had been a long two weeks of service for them both. While things at the border were easy, their time on the talan together was often a struggle, as they had to refrain from engaging in romantic activities for the sake of propriety during their duty. However, once they left the talan after their two weeks, they immediately transitioned back into the married couple they were, taking care to leave their work behind and focus on one another and their son when they were off duty.

After a fortnight of hardly touching one another, there was always lost time to make up for. Therefore the couple dawdled, letting the other wardens walk further and further ahead until they were out of sight and then out of earshot. While many surely suspected what was happening between the marchwardens, none ever dared to disrespect them by broaching the topic. Instead, they simply left the newlyweds to their devices out in the forest, eager to return to their own families and the peaceful life the city offered.

Once they felt no one could see or hear them, Haldir took Belegwen by the hand and secreted her away from the path to one of their many favorite spots amid the forest. It was there, in a small field of flowers, where he gently laid her down in a patch of wild niphredil and ended up laying down beside her, wrapping his arms around her carefully as he sought to touch her everywhere he could. Their clothing was quickly discarded and their bonding was swift, as both were eager to be close once more.

After holding her against him and savoring the love flowing freely between them through their bond, Haldir got up and dressed quickly so he was ready to head back into Caras Galadhon. Belegwen was much slower though; Haldir watched as she took a painfully long time to button her tunic back up and then laid back down for a couple of minutes before she started to reach for her boots.

"Perhaps we could just lay here and rest for a while." She suggested softly, holding a boot in her hand and looking like she barely had the energy to sit up. "I fear you have exhausted me, my sunshine."

For his part, Haldir stared at her momentarily, then knelt down and took the boot from her hand. "Rumil will have dinner waiting for us at home and Halendil has probably been counting down the hours until our return." Haldir said to her gently. Without waiting for a reply, he had the first boot on her foot and fully laced up within a few moments and quickly followed suit with her other boot.

Worry filled his mind as he realized this was the third time in the last few months that she had dealt with this predicament. When her exhaustion had first hit, he simply presumed she had overextended herself with excessive training. However, the last two instances had been easy days where Belegwen had not done many physical activities. Even in their lovemaking, Haldir had taken the lead and Belegwen had not needed to exert much effort, so it did not make sense for her to be so tired.

Something was wrong, though he could not put his finger on what it was. It was very unlike Belegwen to not have energy. By the looks of it, he was not even certain that she could stand up right now.

"Here," he said as he turned around while still kneeling. "Give me your hands."

When he felt her hands tentatively resting on his shoulders, he grabbed her thighs and hoisted her onto his back with ease. Standing up, he smiled as he felt her head rest on his shoulder while her arms entwined around his neck. A shiver passed through him as he felt her warm lips brush against the back of his neck once she had moved his curtain of hair aside.

"Thank you," she murmured as he proceeded to start walking towards the city. "I think I need this break more than I realized." Haldir agreed with her softly, but could not manage to quell the uneasy feeling in his heart as he traveled back to Caras Galadhon.

ooOoo

"Take that you big dirty orc!" Halendil shouted with excitement, his wooden sword flying with a well-practiced motion towards Rumil, who deftly swung himself backward to avoid the 20 year-old's blow. The two were both hanging upside down with their knees latched onto a low tree branch, sword fighting as Rumil's nephew often enjoyed. Much like his naneth, Halendil had quickly taken to the sword and was already starting to demonstrate a talent in this particular field of weaponry.

Rumil easily defended against the little elfling's offensive, using a wooden sword to block blow after blow while somehow maintaining his balance on the tree branch. They were playing Halendil's favorite game, which was referred to as 'Orcs and Wardens.' For some reason, Halendil always made him be the orc, citing that his uncle Rumil was even better than his adar at pretending to be an orc.

Well... if an orc was what his nephew wanted, an orc was what he would get!

Rumil gnashed his teeth and hissed menacingly at the tiny warden before him, pretending to slash at him with a hand shaped like a claw. Having seen this many times before, Halendil was not even remotely surprised by such behavior and precariously aimed his sword for Rumil's hand. Upon receiving the blow, Rumil shrieked dramatically, dropping his sword into the dirt below them while holding his hand and pretending to be horrified at his own decapitation.

When he looked back at Halendil, he saw the same flash he saw in Belegwen's eyes when she knew she was about to win a battle. Indeed, the next blow was unexpectedly to his feet, effectively flipping Rumil off the tree branch. Quickly thinking, Rumil controlled his flip so that he landed first in a squatting position before he allowed himself to roll into a heap on the ground as he continued to make horrifying orc noises. Though some elves might have found this scene oddly curious, none of the elves in the neighboring telain even bothered to look as they went about their days; all of Haldir and Belegwen's neighbors were rather accustomed to such displays at this point.

Moments later, Halendil flipped himself gracefully out of the tree and landed next to Rumil. His wooden sword immediately rested against Rumil's neck. "All of Arda shall be safe once more!" He exclaimed proudly, then pretended to skewer Rumil through the heart with the sword. Rumil allowed himself to go limp and laid as still as could be while Halendil jumped and bounced around in celebration of his victory against the orc. It took all of his self-control not to smile, as he loved watching this jolly little elfling.

However, it was his job as an uncle to tease the little ellon and he knew in this instance, it would be all too easy. As expected, Halendil eventually stopped frolicking around him and stood still as he looked down at him. "Rumil? Are you not going to get up so we can play again?" He asked, poking him first with the blunt tip of his wooden sword and then kneeling down to poke at him with a hesitant finger.

"Rumil?" He asked again, his eyes growing a bit larger as his uncle laid there unmoving. When Rumil saw a mildly panicked look enter the little one's eyes, he knew it was time to strike. Screaming loudly with the hopes of catching him off guard, Rumil grabbed his nephew's ankles. Halendil squealed as he was pulled into a wrestling match in which there was loud shouting and giggling for several minutes.

When he finally had his fill, Rumil pushed his wiggly nephew away from him into the cloud of dirt the two had stirred up on the Lorien pathway. Rumil caught sight of the little one as he stood up and admired his handiwork. The littlest warden's grey tunic and brown pants were completely covered in dust; his silvery braids, which had been pristinely done up that morning, were now messy and starting to fall out. Rumil reached down and ruffled the little one's hair affectionately as he stared up at him, smiling as a couple blades of grass floated from his hair languidly.

"Truce?" Rumil asked as Halendil blinked several times, smearing the dust across his face as he tried to clean it off with his sleeve. Halendil did not answer though until he was done trying to wipe off his face and then, it was with his brutal 'warden voice,' which mimicked the vocal inflections of his adar perfectly.

"I do not make truces with orcs!" He barked and with that, the battle raged on. The two parried and lunged at one another until Halendil suddenly dropped his sword and ran down the street.

"Ada! Nana!" He called out. Rumil watched as he ran to his parents. Haldir rushed forward and grabbed up his young son, tossing him in the air and then twirling around with the little one as he giggled endlessly at his adar's attention. After a moment, he watched as Haldir whispered into the little one's ear. With a nod, Halendil was set on the ground and was unusually calm as he approached Belegwen. Rumil immediately knew something was wrong, as Belegwen usually received an equally enthusiastic greeting from her 20 year-old son.

Indeed, when Belegwen knelt down to hug Halendil, Rumil saw that she was noticeably unsteady on her feet and did not hold her son with the same tight enthusiasm she normally reserved for him.

Had there been an attack on the border recently that had worn her down? Surely Haldir would have been in the same condition as Belegwen if there had been a battle though... No, something else was amiss because Haldir seemed to be perfectly fine. Catching his brother's eye for a moment, Rumil shared a worried look with him before Halendil once again dominated his attention with loud stories about what he had done while his parents were at the border for the last fortnight.

Anxiety fluttered in Rumil's chest as he thought about his suspicions concerning Belegwen. In his heart, he knew she had never been quite the same after the battle. She and Haldir had dealt with her episodes well enough and, as far as Rumil knew, she had not experienced problems with them for the last few years. However, Rumil had watched her closely as the years passed, as he was deeply concerned for his gwathel's well-being after all that had come to pass that fateful night at Helm's Deep.

She had nearly slipped away multiple times on the eve of the battle. Unlike Haldir, who only heard vaguely told stories about the night, Rumil had witnessed it firsthand and knew precisely how serious Belegwen's situation had been. He had almost lost her three times to fading, not to mention the dangers that had inherently come along with the battle and that idiot Erthalion. Rumil knew they were incredibly lucky to have her and Halendil with them today.

_They had barely made it out alive._

Rumil knew it, as did Belegwen and Gilhoth. In a sense, Haldir knew it too, though he chose not to dwell on such matters. No, Haldir preferred to live in the present and was dead set on enjoying the blessings his second chance at life had granted him. He had too. Rumil had never seen Haldir with such a lightness about him in all the years of his life. Marrying Belegwen had brought a sense of joy back into his stoic gwador and Rumil was pleased to finally see him enjoying his life, rather than keeping to himself as he had in the past.

A similar joy could often be felt around Belegwen. However, Rumil knew her so well at this point that he could detect there were times when the joy was real and there were also times where it was more of a façade, covering some other mysterious emotion he could not decipher. He had suspected something was wrong with Belegwen for a long time now and these bouts of weakness she battled were probably the first indicators of a much deeper problem.

Was all of his family's newfound joy about to end?

Rumil was suddenly brought out of his dark thoughts by a large hand resting on his shoulder after giving him a good hard pat. He found Haldir beside him, quickly pushing him towards the stairs where Belegwen and Halendil now were.

"What do you know of this?" He whispered to Rumil, hanging back a bit as Halendil led the way up the stairs of the mallorn with Belegwen lagging behind him, listening attentively to story after story about the little ellon's adventures from the last two weeks. "Have you seen her this way recently?"

"Your guess is as good as…" He started, then trailed off as he watched Belegwen lean against the trunk of the tree, her eyes closed and her breathing shallow. Haldir had seen it first and was already halfway to her, taking the stairs three at a time with striking speed.

Rumil watched as Haldir reached Belegwen and gently eased her down so she was sitting on one of the steps with her back safely up against the heart of the mallorn. Somehow, Halendil had not noticed what happened and had disappeared around the bend of the tree, continuing up the familiar stairway on his own. His light chattering could still be heard as the two brothers watched Belegwen with deep-seated concern.

"Race Halendil to the top of the stairs and then help him clean up for the evening meal." Haldir murmured, looking desperately at Rumil. "He need not see his naneth this way. If he asks about us, tell him we stopped to say hello to a few neighbors."

While Rumil did not want to leave Belegwen in this state, but he knew it would be best for the elfling to be unaware of this and was quick to comply with Haldir's commands. Making haste, he ran up the stairs to catch up to Halendil, leaving his worried brother staring down at his hervess in utter disbelief.

ooOoo

"How long?" Haldir asked in a state of complete shock, kneeling silently down in front of Belegwen to meet her panicked eyes with his own widened ones. "How long has the sea been crying out to you?"

He found himself reaching out to her and grasping her upper arms, though he honestly could not tell if he was trying to steady her or himself at this point. Fear was clouding his mind as he watched her look at him wearily.

Her ears were filled with the familiar sounds of seabirds and the rushing sounds of waves crashing upon themselves. Within her mind's eye, Haldir watched as a shallow rush of water flowed steadily over her torso as she laid helplessly on the ground. Where the source was, he did not know, but it flowed around her insistently, whispering its promise of peace in her ears.

Nothing had ever shaken Haldir more in his entire life.

"Since… since the battle." She whispered, her eyes looking fearfully into his as he realized precisely how long she had concealed this from him. "Please do not be angry with me. I did not wish to worry you."

"But… why would you suffer in silence?" He asked, still astounded as he looked into her large, blue eyes. "I am your hervenn! There are not supposed to be any secrets of importance kept between us! Belegwen, how could you!?" He exclaimed, a feeling of betrayal instantly battering his heart as a waterfall of anxiety crashed into the pit of his stomach.

They had, in fact, discussed this topic at length when they first entered into their marriage. Haldir thought they had been on the same page because both had agreed that only the smallest of secrets could be kept from one another; things of little importance, such as surprises and silly things they heard from their friends. Clearly, Belegwen had not held up her end of their accordance, as she had kept this rather large secret hidden for 20 years!

The thought of her suffering in silence for so long nearly brought Haldir to tears. He hated the idea of her being in pain! It was her own fault though, as she had chosen this road, fully aware of its consequences. A myriad of emotions passed through Haldir all at once, ranging from anger concerning her well-meaning lie to utter despair at the thought of losing her.

"I can deal with it Haldir. I am strong enough to make it until Lord Celeborn chooses to sail. I do not want to leave until my duty is fulfilled." She argued, her stubbornness once again emerging.

Haldir shook his head in frustration, barely holding back the tears that threatened to overtake his sense of reason. He did not want to be reactionary towards her, but it was hard because she infuriated him when she acted this way. "There may not be a choice Belegwen. Elves do not get the pleasure of choosing the time in which they fade." He said as he rested his forehead in his hand. "You should go and speak to Linedhel about this. Perhaps something can be done."

She nodded in agreement, much to Haldir's relief. However, he did not feel any better as he picked her up in his arms and slowly carried her up the stairs, for while he desperately wanted to hope everything would turn out alright, he knew in his heart what was truly happening…

_He was about to lose her._

ooOoo

Numb.

It was the only word that could describe Belegwen as she walked down the familiar forest path, pale as a ghost and devoid of any emotion. Still, she knew the path well enough from her three millennia of traveling it and was aware that she would end up at her desired destination, regardless of her mental state.

The news Linedhel had given her was not ideal, but she had learned more than she already knew. After answering a wide variety of questions, he had announced she was indeed fading, but in a much more involuntary way than other elves. Most elves who faded either became bored with their lives in Arda or lost too many loved ones and faded from broken hearts. However, when Belegwen spoke of how many times she had faded the night of the battle, Linedhel concluded that her body had grown accustomed to fading and therefore had decided it was time to leave, even though her heart currently had no desire to depart.

It was a curious situation, one that happened rather infrequently to elves, but was presenting itself in her nonetheless. The ill news had broken Belegwen's heart in two, as she now worried what tidings it would bring within her life. Would she be able to watch Halendil grow up underneath the mellyrn as she desired? Could she truly continue to serve as a marchwarden while she faded? Would she be forced to leave these shores before she was ready? Before she had fulfilled her duty?

_Would Haldir still love her if her ailment ruined all the plans they made for the future?_

Belegwen shivered at the thought. The rational side of her mind knew it was silly, as Haldir had been loyal to her even before she knew about his feelings. However, she could not seem to prevent the anxiety from settling in her heart. She did not want to be the reason Haldir and Halendil had to leave these shores! She did not want to leave and she would not! Not without a fight!

A sudden feeling of determination flowed over her state of mental turmoil while she slipped off the pathway and started to maneuver her way through the shrubbery towards the familiar voices of her family. There were loud shrieks of joy and outrage coming from Halendil and Linros, as well as loud splashing sounds coming from the pond where they often went to swim. While Haldir had practically begged to accompany her to Linedhel's healing talan, Belegwen had turned him down, saying he needed to take Halendil swimming as he had promised or the little one would figure out that something was wrong.

After a long discussion the night before, both had mutually decided that Halendil should not know unless it was absolutely necessary, as they did not want to worry the little elfling. He was still very young and neither wanted this stress to fall upon him. Thus, Haldir had dutifully take the elfling to the pond along with Rumil and Linros to pass the time after making Belegwen promise she would come by and tell him the results of the examination immediately after its completion.

Now that she had arrived at the pond, she struggled to approach him, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. Instead, she stood in the shadows of the forest, watching the elves she loved play in the water haphazardly. Linros and Halendil were playing tag in the water, running through the shallow pond and screaming joyfully while Rumil sent currents of water towards them at every chance he got.

At first, Belegwen was confused because she did not see Haldir. A sudden movement caught her attention though as two strong arms appeared from under the water behind Halendil and pulled the ellon under the water as he emitted a sound of surprise. Moments later, Haldir and Halendil's heads both popped up out of the water. Their wet hair was plastered to their faces as they stared at each other, Halendil shouting at him with fake outrage. Haldir laughed and laughed, then took off running with the little ellon following close behind him.

Belegwen admired her husband as he ran through the water, sloshing and splashing it all around as her son tried to tag him. How strong and handsome he looked with droplets of water flying from his soaked golden locks onto his perfect porcelain skin. His tunic and undershirt had been discarded on the shore and Belegwen had never ceased to be amazed with his striking figure; what a sight he was as the sunlight caught his hair and the water droplets on him, both shimmering under the bright light.

At last, he had regained his full speed and was once more moving as freely as he had before the battle. No elf in all of Lothlorien could compete with him in this area, though young Halendil certainly wanted to try. Belegwen appreciated Haldir as he slowed down to allow his offspring to catch up to him. A deep laugh caught in his throat as Halendil leaped and tackled his adar to retaliate, creating a resounding splash.

It was moments such as this that Belegwen tucked away into her heart for safekeeping. She loved seeing her family happy. Sometimes the life they had seemed like a dream; too good to be true. Indeed, she had been right because it was about to come to an end.

It was all her fault.

Belegwen's lip trembled as she started to step forward. She knew it was now or never—waiting would not make the news any easier to digest. Steeling herself, Belegwen put on her bravest face and masked her inner turmoil before stepping into the sunlit clearing. The first to see her was Halendil, who shouted, "Naneth! Come try to catch me!" He waved at her playfully with water dripping off his tiny form; his silver braids were half unraveled and plastered to his cheeks as he started to run away from her in the pond before turning to see if she had followed.

Luckily, Rumil stole his attention away from her with a well-timed dunking, which resulted in pandemonium as Halendil shouted for Linros to come help him push Rumil under. Under the guise of this purposeful distraction, Haldir quickly exited the pond, grabbed Belegwen's hand, and stole away with her.

Belegwen stared at him as he led her off the pathway and into the forest. Through their bond, she could sense his anxiety, as he had not even bothered to dry off before making his exit. When he stopped and met her eyes with his worried glance, she felt him immediately start to probe her mind for answers, only to stop when they heard the giggling of unfamiliar voices nearby. Wanting to be alone, Haldir used his head to indicate they would climb the mallorn they were next to and then shot up it rather quickly with Belegwen on his heels.

Haldir reached down and grabbed Belegwen's hand upon arriving at an extensive height within the tree. With practiced strength and balance, he pulled her onto the branch where he stood and the two peered downward through the golden foliage together. There were two ellyth, both carrying baskets of laundry, heading towards the pond as they spouted off the latest gossip with one another. Convinced they had not been seen, Haldir sat down on the branch and patted beside him.

Gingerly, Belegwen sat next to him and met his eyes; so blue they were, like sapphires sewn into the whitest of silks. She took his hand, which was still sopping wet, and noticed it was shaking a bit. It was then that she felt it. Haldir was afraid. Belegwen found this off-putting, as she rarely felt such a thing from him.

Swallowing, Belegwen reached her other hand out and touched his forehead gently, quickly conveying the memories from her visit with Linedhel to him without having to utter a word. Soon it was over and the couple sat in silence while staring at one another. Neither knew what to say.

Belegwen knew what to do though. Disregarding the fact that he was soaking wet, Belegwen closed the space between them by crawling closer to her husband and carefully straddling his lap with her own legs. Overcome with emotion, she embraced him tightly as the water from his torso sank into the front of her Galadhrim tunic. Haldir did not move at first, but then Belegwen felt his arms slowly reach around her until he was holding her too. His hold was gentle at first, but then as he started to silently sob into her neck, his grasp became tighter and tighter. It was as if he worried she would be ripped away from him at that exact moment.

A feeling of hopelessness filled Belegwen and shook her to the core. She clung to Haldir with all her might; his pain was her pain and vice versa. They bore one another's sorrows for several long minutes, which seemed to stretch on for an eternity before they parted.

Wiping the tears from his eyes with one swift pull of his arm, Haldir lightly touched the skin beneath her chin and guided her eyes up to his own. "I will take you west," he vowed very seriously, "You will find your healing there. I would have you whole once again. To be whole and happy; that is what you deserve."

"But it is not what I want." Belegwen murmured in return, her hushed voice sounding airy and on the verge of whispering. "My heart does not desire to sail yet. I want to remain here with you and Halendil. I want to see him reach his majority here. I want to fulfill my oath to Lord Celeborn."

Her voice pleaded with him as she stared into his eyes. "Please Haldir. I am strong enough. I will weather this storm and endure until the true time arrives."

Haldir did not seem as receptive to this idea as she had hoped though. "At what expense? I would not have you suffer here for years on end hervess." He insisted with a firmness in his tone that stated his opinion more clearly than his words did. "If we wait too long, you will end up in the halls, lingering there for a few millennia before we can be together again. Such a thing would be unbearable, my starlight, as I have already waited several millennia to just to be with you!"

Taking his face gently in her hands, Belegwen drew closer to him so that his face was only a hairsbreadth away from her own. "It will not come to that, my sunshine. I would have you sail with me before that day arrives."

"Would you promise this to me? Would you be totally honest with me about how you are doing so I can help you gage when the time is right?" He asked as he placed his hands upon her own and then gently caressed down her arms and torso, causing a shiver to pass through her body involuntarily.

"I promise," she murmured, kissing him lightly on the lips as she felt his love for her permeate all of her inner self during their touching moment. "Now let us enjoy what time we have left on these shores before we embark on our next adventure."

And with all her heart, Belegwen focused on living. One day at a time, she relished every special moment she could, knowing each day could be her last in Lothlorien.

ooOoo

_The years passed quickly and soon it came to pass that young Halendil was nearly at his majority. At forty years of age, he had grown to be slightly taller than Belegwen. Facially, he looked very much like Haldir indeed, but his physical body was much smaller and more lithe, just like Belegond. Having two marchwardens as parents had been influential for the young ellon; it had been nearly inevitable for him to follow in their footsteps. At age 45, he passed all of the warden's exams and, with Lord Celeborn's permission, had become the youngest warden Lothlorien had ever seen._

_Belegwen and Haldir were proud of him, as he had turned out to be quite responsible for his age. His presence was very welcome on the border, as fewer and fewer wardens remained in what was left of the golden wood as each year passed swiftly by._

_The magic had faded further from the forest, only now lingering on in Caras Galadhon itself. In the woods surrounding the city, Nenya's power had waned and the golden leaves had all faded into a lush green. It was only a matter of time before the same thing happened in the city as well and all of the remaining elves knew it. More and more elves left the city every year, leaving the streets more barren than they had ever been in the past._

_The lack of wardens to protect the wood had grown into a problem just a few years prior and the elves had reluctantly given up the outer edges of the woods, as the perimeter was simply too large to protect with so few wardens available for the watches. Instead, they set up new guard telain much closer to the city to lessen the burden of the few wardens who remained._

_A quiet decision had been made a few years prior that Belegwen would no longer serve at the borders, as her problems with fading had grown over the years. She would often feel tired at unexpected moments; Belegwen had seen how it had made her service ineffective and had sadly agreed to serve her remaining years as a personal guard to Lord Celeborn. With more men visiting Caras Galadhon than ever before, it was decided that extra protection would be good for their leader. It was mutually beneficial for Belegwen, as it gave her a way to feel useful other than taking over a majority of the warden's scheduling and still teaching the occasional sword lesson._

_At first, many of the remaining elves thought her new assignment was unnecessary. However, a traveler had drawn a knife on Lord Celeborn two years into her task and Belegwen did not hesitate before speedily disarming him and pinning him to the ground. Before Celeborn had shouted for help, it was over. Belegwen proved she had never let her guard down and was still every bit the warden as she was before._

_The fiasco had exhausted her though and Haldir had watched over her as she slept for three days straight afterwards. As he took care of her, he found himself particularly distraught and ended up confiding in Rumil. "I am losing her! She is too stubborn to admit she needs to leave!" He had proclaimed with terrified eyes as he stared at her sleeping form in the healing talan._

_"_ _Are you so sure?" Rumil had asked in return, his eyebrow cocked with curiosity. "I had the pleasure of escorting her victim out of the woods and let me just say this; he will not soon forget what she did to him."_

_"_ _Truly?" Haldir questioned, clearly trying to find any bit of hope he could to cling onto._

_"_ _She really did a number on him Haldir. By the Valar, she broke his hand when she disarmed him!" Rumil said in astonishment. "Even I did not know she still had such fire within her! Perhaps she can last here longer than we think…"_

_"_ _I hope you are right." He muttered, not fully reassured as he watched over her sleeping figure dutifully. Haldir knew he was right too, seeing as he knew about one of Belegwen's other fading symptoms that most others did not…_

_An unhealthy obsession with water._

_Lord Celeborn had made the discovery while Belegwen tagged along with him as his personal guard. The problem had started out slowly, causing her to stop and stare at fountains and lakes with an vacant look in her eyes for a few seconds before being able to drag herself away or respond to anything he said. However, it grew over the years to a point where it was nearly impossible for her to move away from water when she spotted it. The lord had changed many of the pathways he normally took to avoid water, as Belegwen could freeze and stare it for hours before she managed to tear herself away._

_Sometimes she could not even do that on her own. Sometimes Lord Celeborn or Haldir would have to carry her away from the source of the problem before she would rouse from her dazed state. Choosing not to tell anyone for fear of embarrassing Belegwen, Lord Celeborn, Haldir, Rumil, and Linedhel all kept the problem to themselves and worked hard to manage it as best they could. Between the four of them, they did not leave Belegwen alone, as they were worried about what might become of her if they did._

_The problem came to a head one fateful day during the 72nd year of Haldir and Belegwen's marriage. Haldir had been surprised to find Rumil looking for him unexpectedly at the new border. Halendil had been sharing a watch talan with him, as the two often did while serving their fortnight together. Both elves stared at Rumil when he called up to them. He quickly ascended the ladder they threw down. The panicked look on his face scared Haldir as he jumped onto the talan floor abruptly._

_"Haldir,_ _Belegwen is missing. We have searched for her all day, but neither myself, Linedhel, or Lord Celeborn can find her anywhere." He blurted out, looking between them expediently to gage their reactions. Haldir's eyes widened and he stared at Halendil, whom they had hidden the problem from for many decades at this point. There was no coming back from this though, as the young ellon's expression slid from surprise to fear._

_"_ _What do you mean missing?" Halendil asked as he stared at Rumil. "Ada, what is going on?"_

_"_ _We must check by every body of water." He stated, already grabbing for his bow and quiver to take his leave._

_"_ _We already have." Rumil countered, shaking his head. "We have checked all around the city to no avail."_

_"_ _She is silent and still when it overtakes her. We must look again; if she is wearing her uniform, she might easily blend into her surroundings." He said as he pulled the ladder up quickly. "Halendil, your naneth… she might not be in her right mind currently. I will explain it in more detail to you later. We must leave right away and comb through all of Caras Galadhon to try and find her. If she is not found somewhere in the city, we will get the help of as many wardens as we can find and search the forest." He proclaimed, then immediately climbed down the green-leafed mallorn tree and disappeared into the fading light of the evening._

_Rumil and Halendil proceeded to follow him and the three family members searched for Belegwen well into the night before she was found. It was young Halendil who eventually spotted her while he was rounding the pond he had played in frequently in his youth. There, in the shadow of the trees that was cast down upon the water, he spotted something floating through the darkness. Shucking off his boots, tunic, and weapons, Halendil slid into the water and came upon her still figure, which was floating face up in the water._

_"_ _Ada!" He had screamed fearfully into the night as he touched his naneth's cold, unmoving body. "ADA!"_

_Both Rumil and Haldir were close enough to hear his call and came barreling out of the forest from opposite directions. When Haldir saw where Belegwen was, he plowed into the water without bothering to even take off his boots or weapons._

_"_ _Was she face under or face up?" Haldir asked Halendil immediately as he reached her, his hand automatically grasping her wrist to feel for a pulse._

_"_ _Face up. Ada, she is breathing, but she is cold to the touch! I think she has been here for hours…" He responded as Rumil waded over towards them in silence._

_Haldir reached for her face and upon touching it, the power of their bond flared up and Belegwen finally flinched. Haldir watched as her cerulean eyes started moving. Her look was one of confusion as she caught sight of the ellyn surrounding her. Haldir guided her face so that she looked upon him. "Meleth, can you hear me? Do you know if you are injured?"_

_She nodded and then started to shiver and managed one broken word. "Cold."_

_Indeed, she surely was from laying in the frosty autumn waters for hours. Her blue lips spoke of her internal temperature. Instantaneously, Haldir had lifted her into his arms and made for the shore. He placed her gently upon the grass and had his son and brother turn away while he undressed her, carefully checking her body for injuries before dressing her in Halendil's tunic, which was the only dry one available._

_What the family came to find even more alarming was that even the next day, Belegwen was unable to recall how she had gotten into the water or what she was doing by the pond. The entire day seemed to be a blur for her, which fed into Haldir's desire to whisk her off into the west. The couple had argued about it for several days, Haldir insisting it was past time for her to go and Belegwen fighting just as heartily to stay and fulfill her duty until the very end. Haldir tried everything, right down to reminding her of the promise she had made to him when they had first discovered what was happening, but she simply could not swayed._

_Thus it was that Haldir took his plea all the way to Lord Celeborn himself. However, Celeborn had already heard about their situation and had made a decision of his own. His care for Belegwen was so great that he decided to announce his own decision to sail in two years time to the entire city the very next day. Every family was then asked to make a decision for themselves about where they would go within the next three months—either to sail with him or to move to one of the other remaining elven colonies in Arda._

_While Haldir was not thrilled about spending two more years in Caras Galadhon while Belegwen was in such a dangerous state, he had been reassured by both Celeborn and Rumil that the time would pass quickly and they would soon move over the sea so she could receive the healing she desperately needed. Lord Celeborn also granted Haldir a two-year leave from the borders so he could watch over Belegwen until they left, ensuring her safety. Rumil and Gilhoth both functioned as marchwardens for the remaining two years in their stead, while Belegwen and Haldir stood watch over Lord Celeborn and assisted as necessary with goings on in the city._

_During the two years, Belegwen had many good days where she functioned quite normally, so long as she did not tax herself too greatly. There were also a slew of days though where Haldir had to carry her away from water sources that seemed to draw her attention away with ease. At the end of the two years, even a glass of water was enough to stop her in her tracks, which made mealtimes rather problematic._

_Joy was still found in the final two years, for Belegwen and Haldir enjoyed watching as Halendil grew better and better with his sword and bow, truly earning their mutual respect as a brave warden and an honorable ellon. Together, they had spent their last days in Arda choosing which sentimental items they would take with them to Valinor and what they would leave behind._

_On that final day, once all was packed in wagons and readied to depart, the last of the Lothlorien elves had stood in silence, staring into their city one last time. While their desire for the sea was great, they had all spent centuries, if not millennia, living in these fair woods. Even without the magic of Nenya, the trees remained tall and free and they could all still picture Caras Galadhon in its prime, bustling with beloved family members and friends._

_The mood was somber, as it was hard to part from the land they all loved. Amid the silence, one voice rang out—Palantil, one of Lorien's finest minstrels, sang his lady's song one final time:_

_I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew._

_Of wind I sang, a wind there came and in the branches blew._

_Beyond the sun, beyond the moon, the foam was on the sea,_

_And by the strand of Ilmarin there grew a golden tree._

_Beneath the stars of ever-eve in Eldamar it shone,_

_In Eldamar beside the walls of elven Tirion._

_There long the golden leaves have grown upon the branching years,_

_While here beyond the sundering seas now fall the elven-tears._

_O Lórien! The winter comes, the bare and leafless day;_

_The leaves are falling in the stream, the river flows away._

_O Lórien! Too long I have dwelt upon this hither shore,_

_And in a fading crown have twined the golden elanor._

_But if of ships I now should sing, what ship would come to me,_

_What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a sea?_

_Ah, like gold fall the leaves in the wind,_

_Long years numberless as the wings of trees!_

_The long years have passwift draughts,_

_Of the sweet mead in lofty halls beyond the West,_

_Beneath the blue vaults of Varda wherein the stars,_

_Tremble in the song of her voice, holy and queenly._

_Who now shall refill the cup for me?_

_For now the Kindler, Varda, the Queen of the Stars,_

_From Mount Everwhite has uplifted her hands like clouds,_

_And all paths are drowned deep in shadow;_

_And out of a grey country darkness lies,_

_On the foaming waves between us, and mist,_

_Covers the jewels of Calacirya forever._

_Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar!_

_Farewell! Maybe thou shalt find Valimar._

_Maybe even thou shalt find it. Farewell!_

_Many a tear was shed as they all thought of the many times Lady Galadriel had sang that song beneath these fair trees. Those days had now come to an end though, as the time of the elves was over-_

"Ada?"

Haldir gasped as he came out of his thoughts and back into the present. He turned to find his son peeking into their tiny room in the bottom of the boat. The room was so small that it only held a small double bed, a dresser that was built into the wall, and one fine wooden chair that Haldir had scooted up to the bed where Belegwen was sleeping. When he signaled for Halendil to enter, he opened the door and revealed the chair from his own room was resting in his hands. He walked in and carefully finagled the chair above his head so he could shut the door, then used it to sit down next to his adar.

"Have there been any changes?" He asked quietly as Haldir passed his naneth's hand, which he had been holding, over to his son. Haldir was saddened by the worry that was now prominent in Halendil's clear, blue eyes as he looked over Belegwen's unmoving form. Having now seen how his son reacted to his naneth's fading, Haldir was glad he had kept it from the ellon for as long as he could.

Since the night he had found his naneth unresponsive in the pond, Halendil had been changed—hardened by the worries of the world in way that no parent would wish upon their progeny. He was more reserved now, spending more time alone with his thoughts now than laughing when the opposite was more his norm. The youngest warden had also taken to watching over his naneth, though no one had asked it of him. Regardless, he was always aware of where Belegwen was, quickly guiding her away from anything he thought was potentially dangerous with the hopes of protecting his naneth.

"No. She has not even blinked or twitched." He replied slowly, carefully observing the ellon's face as a visage of sorrow settled upon it.

Upon arriving at the Grey Havens, Belegwen had promptly become entranced by the sea. Haldir had anticipated this and had picked her up and brought her to the room they would spend the night in before leaving on the boat the next morning. Unlike other times though, Belegwen had not woken up from her trance as she usually did and was still sleeping three days later, much to the concern of her family. They were all quite worried and collectively hoping she would indeed make it west before fading away.

"I spoke with Cirdan today." Halendil announced, breaking the silence between them. "I told him of naneth's condition and he was very positive and hopeful. He said many elves who are in her situation start to feel the magical healing of Aman long before their arrival upon the shores. He suggested she might wake up in a few days once the power begins to take hold of her. She might heal before we arrive."

Haldir did not feel any hope from his son's hypothesis though and sighed with despair. While he had not told anyone yet, he could feel the bond between himself and Belegwen was starting to fade away and it worried him deeply. He was uncertain if he could survive watching her fade into nothingness on the very ship that was supposed to be her saving grace.

"I hope you are right, ion-nin." He answered calmly, a frown resting upon his face as he met Halendil's blue eyes. "I hope you are right."


	58. Reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AnshinDark for the comment-you'll find out the answer to your theories at the end of this chapter! Also, thanks to all who have given kudos! I appreciate your support!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 58: Reunions

Halendil smiled as he watched his parents from several paces away. He was so incredibly happy that Cirdan was right! His naneth had slept for nearly two weeks straight, giving his family the biggest scare they had experienced during his 74 years of life. This had been worse than the pond incident, as Halendil had not realized his naneth might drag his adar with her while she faded away until after they boarded the ship.

Indeed, his adar had started to look worse for wear during their first few days sailing across the water. Both he and Rumil had grown worried that if Belegwen passed away, she would take Haldir with her and they would have to wait thousands of years before they could see them again in Valinor. Fortunately, it had not come to that.

He and Rumil had taken turns watching over Haldir after he refused to leave Belegwen's side for anything other than the most basic of needs. His adar had sat next to her bed, holding her hand and staring at her forlornly for eleven days before a change had occurred. On their eleventh day at sea, Halendil had went into the room at the break of dawn to check on his parents, only to find the room vacant. Uncertain of what had happened overnight, Halendil had immediately rushed around searching for his adar and naneth, automatically fearing the worst.

However, it was unnecessary, as he had stopped in shock and did a double take when he saw them both on the deck together, very much alive and surprisingly well. More impressively, when he had shouted "Naneth!" in surprise, she had turned from looking at the water of her own volition and smiled at him, waving him over into the strongest hug he had gotten in years. The magic of the Undying Lands had already started to restore her and now, seven days later, she seemed stronger and more aware of herself than she had been in a long time.

"She looks great, does she not?" He heard a voice say from his righthand side. Halendil brushed some of his loose silver hairs away from his face as he turned to see Rumil standing next to him, also admiring Belegwen's renewed health. "It is a pleasure to have her back to normal. It has been decades since she looked so healthy."

"Indeed." Halendil agreed. While his family had chosen not to tell him about what was happening with his naneth in Caras Galadhon, Halendil had still been aware that something was wrong with his naneth long before the pond incident. His adar had never seemed panicked or overly upset by it though and so he too had assumed everything would turn out alright in the end.

And it had.

Halendil smiled, then looked away as his parents shared a kiss on the deck. There was a growing part of him that yearned for such affection from an elleth and he hoped that perhaps someday he too would share a close connection with an hervess of his own. During his entire youth, Halendil had listened to elves talking about how lucky his parents were to be connected thusly, as they were bonded more closely than most married couples in Lothlorien. Not all elves were gifted as they were; for goodness sakes, they could even finish one another's sentences at times, as if they were twins instead of husband and wife! Halendil wanted that same closeness with an elleth too!

After sighing while he thought back to the sparse number of unmarried ellyth in Caras Galadhon, a flicker of hope suddenly ignited within his mind. Perhaps his mate was waiting for him on the shores that were just beginning to come into view-

A hard thump on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts. "Shall we roll some dice to pass the time?" Rumil asked him, dangling a small black pouch in front of his face that was very familiar at this point. There were not many things to do on the ship, so Halendil had played dice with Rumil and some of the other wardens multiple times a day for the last three weeks.

"I think I will be content to never play dice again, or at least for another century, once we arrive upon the shore." He replied, but obediently followed Rumil over to a small table with a few chairs sitting around it. He was certain his uncle would not take no for an answer. Once the two ellyn were settled in their seats, Halendil looked Rumil in the eye and asked a question that had been lingering in his mind as his golden-haired uncle dumped the dice onto the table.

"Rumil, Cirdan told me that word was sent ahead of us to Valinor so our relatives will know that we are coming. Who do you think will be waiting for us when we arrive?" He asked curiously, uncertain of whom he might meet once they were on dry land again.

"Well, it is hard to say. I feel fairly certain that your adar and I will see our parents there, since they made the choice to sail long ago. Our brother Orophin is unlikely to be there, as I have heard it can take thousands of years to be released from Mandos' Halls." Rumil replied, then shook a few stray hairs out of his face. The winds were abundant as they sailed through the unending dark waters and all of the elves on board were looking rather windblown on a daily basis.

"What about naneth? Will there be anyone waiting to see her?" Halendil asked quietly, uncertain if the answer would dredge up any painful memories for his naneth. He thought perhaps it would be better for her not to hear the answer, though when he looked up from the dice he saw she had indeed heard, as both she and his adar were approaching them. When her fingers gently rested on his shoulder and her blue eyes met his own, Halendil knew the question had not been offensive.

"You are always welcome to ask about family, my sweetling. I do not have an answer to your question though. My family met their fates in Arda over three millennia ago, so it is possible they will be there, but they could also be lingering in the Halls of Mandos. We will have to see when we get there." Belegwen answered as she sat down in the chair next to him with a wishful smile on her face. For her sake, Halendil hoped she would get the surprise she was longing for.

"Even if they are not," she continued slowly, "I believe there will be several other elves we know there. With Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel reuniting on the shores, I am certain there will be many from Lothlorien present to take part in such a momentous occasion."

"Yes, I would anticipate quite the crowd. It might take us a while to find those who have come to meet us." Haldir replied as he sat down next to Belegwen, setting his hand atop hers. He had hardly let go of her since she awoke; his adar was absolutely enthralled with his hervess now that she was back to normal.

Excitement started to blossom in Halendil's heart as he slowly admired his beloved family members one by one. He had vague memories of the Lady of Light and was excited to meet her once again. He also thought it would be fun to meet several members of his parents' families, many of which he had heard stories about regularly during their time in Arda. He knew that for both Haldir and Belegwen, seeing their adars once again was an exciting prospect; one they were both eagerly awaiting.

_"A new life awaits us,"_ he thought to himself as Rumil shoved the dice into his hand, efficiently reminding him to take his turn. _"I cannot wait to see what events unfold tomorrow!"_

ooOoo

"Are you ready meleth?" Haldir asked as he watched Belegwen buckle Nimrodel to her side in front of the full-sized mirror in their tiny room. He walked behind her and gently set his hands on her shoulders as they both stared into the mirror.

Belegwen was lovely as ever. Rumil had done her hair that morning, pulling the top and sides back with several tiny braids and weaving them into a headband of twisted braids, which reached from the back of one ear all the way over her head to the back of the other ear; the remainder of her unbraided hair spilled into a shiny silver waterfall that reached all the way down to her hips. Her small form was clad in her warden's attire, as was he. Both were wearing their leaf pins clipped to the tops of their collars, as was expected while in uniform. Haldir noticed Belegwen's pin was slightly lopsided and carefully reached around her with one hand and adjusted it until it sat perfectly in place.

Though they were wearing the same clothing they had donned for thousands of years, today it felt different. Lord Celeborn had announced before their journey west that he planned to release all of the remaining wardens from their duty upon reaching the shores of the Undying Lands, which meant this was the final time Haldir, Belegwen, and every other warden would wear the familiar attire.

Today the outfit signified the end of an era and their entry into a big unknown—what they would do after no longer being needed as wardens. This had led to uncertainty amongst the ranks, for most of the wardens had served for several centuries or millennia and very few had done any other job. Haldir and Belegwen felt this distinctly, as neither had ever pictured themselves doing anything else.

Valinor was a land of peace and plenty though. Such protections were no longer going to be necessary in the west and all the remaining wardens would need to find new professions. Rumil had spoken cheerily about taking up his woodworking again, as he once had before becoming a warden. Halendil had expressed interest in learning the craft from his uncle, who was entirely willing to take the young ellon under his wing.

Haldir had not taken much time to think about the future though, as he had spent the last few decades worrying about Belegwen's safety and wellness. Now that she had recovered, he felt an odd emptiness within him at the thought of no longer being needed by his lord and lady. Inside, he could feel that his hervess shared this sentiment.

"I am as ready as I will ever be for a moment like this," Belegwen finally answered in a dark voice. "Everything will soon be different and I do not know how to feel about it."

"Me neither," Haldir whispered as he leaned over to kiss her on the forehead, "It will not be everything though. We are a constant, meleth, and I will always be there for you."

"Truly?" She asked quietly, turning around and looking up to face him. Haldir did not answer out loud, but sent a wave of love and acceptance through their bond that was answer enough. In return, she leaned her head upward and kissed him gently with one of her hands coming to rest on the back of his neck within his golden tresses. In that moment, Belegwen chose to reveal her deepest desire to him through their bond.

Haldir gasped and his eyes widened as he stared down at the love of his life in shock while a vision of her holding another tiny elfling in her arms passed through his mind. "You desire this once more meleth? Do you not think it is too soon?" He asked gently as his hand tenderly brushed against her stomach, imagining it carrying an elfling once more.

"Why would it be too soon?" Belegwen asked him, caressing his face with loving strokes of her hand. "Halendil has been of age for 24 years now. We will be starting a new life in Valinor and I thought perhaps a new son or daughter might be part of it." She said as she looked up at him while trying to gage his reaction to her proposal.

"It will be a son of course," Haldir corrected, automatically thinking about his own family history. In his mind, there was no chance he would produce a daughter, as his family had not produced a single elleth in over five generations now. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his hervess clearing her throat. He raised his eyebrows at Belegwen's sudden change of expression. It almost looked teasing and mischievous.

"Perhaps not…" She muttered as she pulled his face closer to hers and then whispered her secret into his ear. "Before we left Caras Galadhon, Lord Celeborn helped me do some research into my own family. Do you know what I found?"

"What did you find?" He questioned quietly, perplexed with her sudden change of mood. Her blue eyes stared intently into his own and a smile slowly adorned her bright face with joy.

"My family has a pattern too. They always have one ellon and one elleth." She finished, then drug his lips against her own for a slow kiss. "We already have our ellon, so I suspect I might have an elleth next."

Haldir held her forehead against his own as he so liked to do and smiled to himself. "You think your bloodline will win out when we have our next elfling?"

"Perhaps I do." Belegwen whispered sensually against his lips. "There is only one way to find out though. What is your opinion, my sunshine? Would you like a second elfling?"

"Of course," he answered without hesitation and then they were kissing fervently, each wrapping their arms around one another to achieve the fullest contact possible. The power of their bond flared up between them, tingling and lifting the skin of their arms up into gooseflesh as they reveled in the warmth and tenderness of their other half.

The moment did not last overly long because both of them knew they were going to dock the ship sometime during the next hour. Their last moments of duty awaited them. "Let us settle into a new home first and then we will try for our second elfling." Haldir murmured as he stroked her face gently with his hand.

"That sounds perfect," Belegwen answered softly, reveling in her hervenn's all-consuming love for her.

Uneasiness settled inside of them both as they heard a commotion on the upper deck. After exchanging a curious glance between themselves, they quickly ran through the door of their cabin and up the stairs that led to the deck. Most of the elves were gathering around the railing as they appeared to be quickly approaching land. Immediately, Haldir let out a whistle, which signaled the wardens on the ship to line up and ready themselves for the presentation they would perform upon the shore.

The wardens were fast to obey, rapidly leaving the railing to fall into line the way they had practiced before they left Caras Galadhon. Gilhoth and Rumil joined Belegwen and Haldir; the marchwardens waited together in silence for Lord Celeborn's arrival.

All the elves on the ship continued to glance over the railing, hoping to see what was happening upon the shores they were sailing toward. A large crowd had congregated near the rocky shores that fed into a deep green field, which led up to a hilly terrain with a road passing through it. The land appeared barren, but all knew that the city was not far from the shores and would be less than an hour's journey on foot.

"There must be hundreds of elves out there!" Gilhoth exclaimed as he looked over the crowd with excitement. "What blessings we will experience today as we greet our dearest loved ones!"

Haldir could not help but look around the shore, hoping to catch a first glimpse of his family. He knew his adar and naneth would be out there somewhere to meet him and Rumil. It would probably take them a while to find them amongst all the other elves though. He sent a soothing look to Belegwen as he felt her anxiety building upon hearing his thoughts.

_"They will love you meleth."_ He said in a comforting voice within her mind. _"You have nothing to fear."_

_"How can you be so certain?"_ She thought in return, clearly unconvinced. Haldir listened to her thoughts as she remembered how so many elves had disapproved of her choice to be a warden and had looked down on her for choosing the life she desired. She was worried Haldir's parents would feel the same way and would feel nothing but disdain towards her.

_"Naneth had always hoped her sons would grow up, marry, and give her elflings. Together we have given her exactly what she wanted. Because of this, you can do no wrong in her eyes. As for my adar, he is a very serious ellon, but he will find room in his heart for you. I am assured of this."_ He told her within his mind, responding to her thoughts to try and comfort her as he pushed a few wild silver hairs back behind her ear as the wind blew them in front of her face.

Belegwen smiled up at him and then directed him to turn around and see what was happening behind him. Lord Celeborn had finally made his appearance and was staring into the distance, where they could see Lady Galadriel standing several paces in front of the crowd. A small smile appeared on the lord's face, which then grew until his face was filled with joy at the sight of his longtime hervess. Haldir and Belegwen admired the happy sight as they floated towards the shore. How blessed they were to see them reunited once more!

Less than an hour later, the four marchwardens were trailing behind Lord Celeborn as he went down the gangway, followed by the remaining wardens in their respective ranks. Haldir and Belegwen were directly behind their lord, with Rumil and Gilhoth behind them. They had diligently practiced marching in their ranks back in Caras Galadhon and the entire group demonstrated it immaculately. Their feet were all in time, each looking forward with the full attention and seriousness that was required of all wardens.

Lady Galadriel waited for her hervenn just past the smattering of wet rocks at the shoreline. She stood at the beginning of the field of short grass, which was the brightest and most vibrant green Haldir had ever seen.

The sun did not glare down upon them because grey clouds had floated overtop it, covering most of its light. Only a few strong rays were able to pass through the cloud cover, creating white lines of light that brightly streamed down towards the ground. Despite this, the lady was a bright and shining beacon on this overcast day. The light of the trees was still within her and she glowed majestically as Lord Celeborn joined her on the shores of the Undying Lands at long last.

Haldir noticed the lady was not alone. Behind her stood two other wardens who were wearing the familiar metal sword belts that marked their rankings as marchwardens. Haldir immediately recognized Annondel, who had been his predecessor. The other marchwarden was not an ellon Haldir knew. He wondered if perhaps the other ellon had served the lord and lady before Annondel as he followed Lord Celeborn onto the grass.

There was not much time to think it over, as the marchwardens quickly spread out behind Lord Celeborn, just as they had rehearsed. The remaining 20 wardens fell into line behind them. When the last warden was in place, Haldir led all of the wardens in a low bow and salute of their beloved lord and lady. Perfectly in time, all the wardens came back up into position and rested their fists against their chest as they awaited their next command.

From their frozen position, they all witnessed the jubilant reunion of the lord and lady, who were quick to embrace and reluctant to let go of one another after so long a separation. When they finally parted, Lord Celeborn took a few moments to thank each of the marchwardens personally, starting with Annondel and the elder marchwarden, who had kept watch over the lady in his absence. He then walked over and acknowledged Rumil first, then Haldir, beating his fist on his heart and vocally conveying his most heartfelt appreciation.

When he came Belegwen, Lord Celeborn broke protocol and hugged the marchwarden who was also his ward. Haldir overheard him whispering to her about how she would always hold an important place in his heart and that he hoped she would continue to visit him even after she was reunited with her family. She had immediately agreed and thanked him once again for taking her in after the tragedy. Tears rolled down her face as she told him that she owed everything in her life to him believing in her and they held each other tightly once again before finally parting.

Once Gilhoth had received his thanks, Lord Celeborn walked back to Lady Galadriel. She smiled at him as he took her hand and faced the wardens for the last time. "All of you have shown exemplary service and loyalty to us over the years. The risks you took and time you spent away from your families has ensured the safety of our realm time and time again. Thank you for all you have done for us over the years; such feats of bravery will never be forgotten for all of eternity. It is my pleasure to now discharge you all honorably. Enjoy family, life, and love to its fullest and know that you will always be in our hearts, until the very end of time."

Cheers and applause came from the crowd behind the lord and lady as they smiled at the wardens one last time before turning to one another and sharing a special moment of their own, which ended with a slow kiss. Haldir grinned over at Belegwen, who was smiling through her tears at the sight.

They had done it! Their service was now complete and they too could fully enjoy their lives together and the love they shared. Belegwen's eyes met his own and they shared a moment of their own—one filled with joy at the completion of their task and hope for the future they desired to spend together. Their days would finally be filled with peace, the very thing they had fought for during all those years of service they had endured. At last!

Several elves from the crowd were now making their way over as the wardens started to move away from the gangway so civilians could also leave the boat. Haldir took Belegwen by the arm so he would not lose her in the crowd and signaled for Halendil to join them as well before starting to look around for familiar faces. They had already lost Rumil in the crowd; at least, Haldir could no longer see him from where he stood.

Before they could go and seek out Haldir's family, they found themselves immediately approached by Annondel. Though they had all been released from their duties that day, Belegwen and Haldir still acknowledged him by putting a fist over their hearts. Haldir saw out of the corner of his eye that Halendil had also followed suit, though he surely did not know who he was acknowledging.

"Haldir," Annondel began, then looked over at his family and appeared uncertain of what to do. After a few moments he settled on giving Belegwen and Halendil a nod of acknowledgement before turning back to him. "I see much has happened during my absence. Come, let us speak in private for a few minutes." He said, laying out an invitation as he motioned for him to come forward.

"I will be back shortly," he quickly said to Belegwen, who nodded at him. He then followed Annondel through the crowd until they were in an area with fewer elves. Once they were out of earshot of his family, Annondel turned to Haldir with a look of distaste written all over his face. Haldir lifted both of his eyebrows in surprise, having not expected this sort of reception.

"What have you done in my absence?! Why have you made her a marchwarden?!" Annondel hissed, clearly upset by what he perceived as blatant favoritism on his part. "She is not skilled enough to hold such a ranking. You and I both know this!"

"Sir, please allow me to address this issue with you. May I respectfully point out that you have not been with us for the last 2,500 years? Much has happened in that time, including many things you and I never could have foreseen." Haldir began, taking a breath so that he did not lose his temper with his superior.

Belegwen had been afraid she would be seen this way in Valinor; Haldir could now admit her fears had been valid. Annondel's bias towards her was alive and well, as would be the bias held by many of the Lorien elves who sailed before Belegwen became a marchwarden. There would be more obstacles for them to conquer here, though they would surely not be as difficult as they had been initially. After all, Belegwen knew many wardens who held her in high esteem.

"Sir, I have only made Belegwen my hervess. Lady Galadriel was the one who chose Belegwen for the position of marchwarden. She was right to do so, as Belegwen has served Lothlorien faithfully and is considered a war hero for her actions during the Battle of Helms Deep. She has earned the respect of the wardens and has turned into the best swordsman I have ever seen. Her leadership and skillful teachings have benefitted many wardens, so I would respectfully beseech you not to belittle her status; it was earned, not given out of favoritism."

In Annondel's defense, he had truly listened to Haldir, though the look on his face suggested he was still uncertain whether or not Belegwen was truly deserving of her designation. "See for yourself…" Haldir said, turning and pointing to the scene he had already overheard within his mind.

When he turned around, both he and Annondel watched as Belegwen was speaking very enthusiastically with a few members of her advanced swordsmanship class who had sailed a couple of decades before them. As per usual, a sword had been taken out of its scabbard and Belegwen was using Halendil as a model, guiding his arm in an intricate motion for the small group to admire. Halendil bore a look of happiness upon his face and was clearly pleased to be assisting his naneth with the sword once more.

Upon turning back to Annondel, Haldir noticed the older marchwarden was continuing to gaze upon the scene before him with a look of disbelief and confusion settling upon his face. After a few minutes, he turned back to Haldir and asked, "This has truly happened?"

Haldir nodded in response as a small smile graced his lips. Annondel was nearly speechless, having not believed in Belegwen's abilities while he was a marchwarden. "I am afraid I do not know what to say Haldir. This is quite unexpected." He finally replied, then looked him in the eye. "You have truly married her too? For Valar's sake, how did that happen?! You made it sound like she would not have you the last time we were together!"

"There was a bit of a misunderstanding between Belegwen and Lord Celeborn about what would and would not be allowed for a female warden." Haldir answered. "It has been resolved now. She fell in love with me as I trained her to be a marchwarden. We have been married for 74 years now."

"Let me offer you my congratulations then, for I am glad things have finally worked out between you." Annondel said, then smiled at him for the first time in a long while and teased, "I guess all those laps you ran were not in vain after all!"

Haldir laughed a little at this, relieved to be in the old marchwarden's good graces again. Despite having been marchwarden himself for nearly 2,500 years, Haldir had grown up admiring Annondel and his opinion still mattered to him. "Thank you, sir. That means a lot."

"I should like to see these swordsmanship skills of Belegwen's at some point too." Annondel said with a smile. "Perhaps once you are settled in we could arrange something?"

"I will have to ask Belegwen, but I imagine we can figure something out." He answered, turning back to his wife to see her continuing her demonstration while using Halendil as her assistant. "If you linger here long enough, you may just get your demonstration sooner than you think!"

They both chuckled at that and then Annondel bid him a fond farewell, patting him once more on his shoulder and then heading over to a couple of wardens who were waving to him. Haldir started to walk back towards Halendil and Belegwen, only to stop when he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

"Rumil, what is-" he began, but then stopped and gasped a moment later as he saw his other brother trailing along behind him. "Orophin!"

_"How is this possible?"_ He wondered to himself and then blinked, as if expecting this apparition of his late brother to be unreal and disappear. He was still there a moment later, fully present in the flesh.

"Dearest Valar, you are here!" He stated in shock as his middle brother stopped in front of him with his familiar, sarcastic smile. "It is really you!" He exclaimed, then grabbed him into a strong embrace as he was overrun by emotion.

Oh, how he had missed Orophin during the last 75 years! He had not just been his brother, but also his best friend and confidant. There had been so many days during the last few decades when Haldir had wished he could go and speak to Orophin as he always had for millennia now. Haldir thought he would have to wait a long time for Orophin to arrive in the Undying Lands since most elves spent millennia healing in Mandos' Halls.

"I do not understand. How is it you have returned so soon?" Haldir asked through the tears that had unexpectedly started to fall down his face. Orophin gave him a few firm pats on the back, then pulled back to inspect his brother. Orophin's pale freckled face looked a bit alarmed to see Haldir in such a sentimental state, as he was normally quite stoic. Orophin had not been around him since he married Belegwen though—she had brought back this side of him, one he had previously deemed to be lost forever.

"It is because of you, gwador." Orophin answered slowly, still staring at him uncomfortably, as if trying to size up this unusual situation. "By successfully completing my mission and sending you back to Arda, I gained a great deal of favor with both Mandos and Vaire. I also obtained Belegwen's forgiveness for the poor treatment she endured from me, which was a large part of my own healing process. Because of this, Mandos chose to accelerate my healing and send me back quickly." He alleged with a smile.

"He has even allowed me to keep my memories of it." He mused, starting to look a bit misty-eyed himself. "Hardly any elves are allowed to remember what happens in the halls, but I have retained my memories. I remember going to you on the boat. I remember helping you." He said quietly, his voice elevated with extra feeling.

Haldir closed his eyes for a moment as he remembered his time with Orophin in the boat and how his brother had encouraged him to go back, even when he had not wanted to. He would have missed so many wonderful events if he had not returned; he would have never met his son, nor married Belegwen, nor spent all those glorious years serving as a marchwarden by her side…

"You were right." Haldir muttered as he withdrew from his memories. He opened his eyes and stared into his brother's cerulean eyes, which were identical to his own. "I would have regretted not returning for the rest of my life."

The two stared at one another as the importance of the situation that was long past lingered within their minds. "Thank you." Haldir finally whispered. "I owe so much of what I have to you."

Orophin pulled him back into a second hug at that point and whispered, "Your welcome gwador. I am glad that you were finally able to find your happiness." Rumil, who had surely felt left out for the last few minutes, then grabbed them before they were finished and hugged them both at the same time with all his strength.

They were soon laughing gladly together, teasing one another as they had all those years ago. Orophin's presence seemed to soothe both of his brothers in a way nothing else could. They had both missed him desperately and they finally felt like a family again, now that he was here.

The happy reunion continued until Haldir sensed the presence of his hervess behind him. He turned to find her staring in shock at Orophin's laughing figure as he continued conversing with Rumil. After finishing his last story, Orophin turned back to Haldir, only to stop and stand speechlessly before Belegwen. Haldir could tell that Orophin did not know what to do, as he had not been friends with Belegwen in Arda. Though the two had apologized to one another during a brief encounter in her dream, Orophin did not know what her reaction would be to him now that they were together in the flesh.

"Orophin?" She questioned, looking just as astonished at his presence as Haldir imagined he had a few minutes prior. "Is it truly you?" Haldir looked over at his brother, whose only response was to nod in reply to her query. This in and of itself was shocking, as there were very few times when Haldir had seen Orophin this way. He almost always seemed to have sassy and sarcastic comments at the ready and was rarely shaken by anything.

The two inspected one another in silence for a few moments before Orophin finally found his voice again. "Am I still forgiven gwathel?" He asked in a rather matter-of-factly voice. Though he would never show it intentionally, Haldir knew his brother well enough to recognize his insecurities and this was a large one. Orophin would cover up any hurt of his with haughty comments and snark in the past, but Haldir could tell by the awkward look on his face that he was trying very hard to not resort to such things now.

Belegwen's face lit up as she studied him for a second before grabbing him up in a big hug. "Of course you are gwador," Haldir heard her whisper to his brother as she clung to him tightly, in the same way she often did with Rumil. "I will forever be in your debt, as you sent Haldir back to me when I needed him most. I will never forget what you have done for me. Thank you so very much." She told him in a sentimental voice while she held him tightly. Through their bond, Haldir could tell she was feeling grateful for all she had been blessed with by the Valar and Eru Iluvatar.

When she finally pulled away from him, he smiled back at her with a deep look of relief upon his face. Haldir was glad that the two of them were starting out on such good terms, as things would have been very awkward if they had not. "Come," Orophin invited them as he started to take a few steps backwards, "Ada and naneth are waiting for us over yonder!"

He and Rumil immediately walked away excitedly, expecting Haldir and Belegwen to follow. They watched Haldir's younger brothers quickly pass through the crowd for a moment before looking at one another. Haldir noticed Belegwen's eyes were full of a nervous excitement. He smiled down at her and took her hand gently into his own before reminding her of his opinion.

"They are going to love you meleth. I promise." He reassured her and then acquired a look of excitement all his own and lightly tugged on her arm until she was following him through the crowd in the direction Orophin had been leading Rumil.

The two marchwardens weaved between group after group of elated elves, all speaking animatedly with their long-lost relatives and friends. Their ears were bombarded with laughter and sobs of joy as one reunion after another occurred around them. Haldir stopped for a moment to look around, as he thought he might have lost his brothers in the crowd, which showed no signs of dissipating any time soon. He caught sight of them once again after a moment though, standing by a couple of large boulders next to the sea.

He saw Rumil hugging his naneth tightly first and ran over to them. "Haldir!" She exclaimed and opened up one arm to let him into the hug also. He joined her momentarily and at once embraced her tightly.

"I have missed you!" She murmured into his shoulder as she held him closely. Distantly, he felt Rumil pat his naneth on her back and then let go as he exclaimed over seeing their adar.

"I have missed you too." Haldir said in return, stepping back after a minute to inspect her. She was just as he remembered—short for an elf, with blue eyes, Orophin's pale freckles running across her nose, and curly blonde hair that fell gracefully down her back. "How have you been?"

"I am well. Life has been very peaceful here, as we both expected. Orophin just returned to us a few years ago and now we are blessed to welcome our other two sons as well! At last, we will all be together again! I cannot remember when I last felt so excited!" She exclaimed as she rested her hands softly upon his face. She almost looked as if she was in disbelief that he was truly standing there in front of her.

"Let me add to your pleasure then by introducing you to your new daughter." Haldir said, his eyes glimmering with excitement as he took another step back and turned before taking Belegwen by the hand and drawing her near his naneth. "Naneth, this is my hervess Belegwen."

"Hervess?" She questioned in a voice that sounded shocked. "One of my sons has finally chosen to wed?!" Her eyes immediately looked down and made a quick head to toe assessment of Belegwen. She seemed to be even more astounded by her attire; Haldir had expected that though, as no one had expected there to be a female warden in Lothlorien, let alone a female marchwarden. Haldir's naneth seemed to get over it quickly though, as a warm smile appeared on her face when she finally met Belegwen's eyes.

"You must be very special to have married my Haldir. My name is Teluial and I am pleased to meet you." She said before embracing Belegwen into a warm hug. "What a joy it is to finally have another elleth in the family!"

Belegwen accepted the hug and Haldir felt a wave of relief wash over her upon feeling the immediate acceptance of Haldir's naneth. She had not believed him, but Haldir had known that Belegwen would be easily accepted by his family. His naneth was simply happy to have at least one of her three sons wed.

"That is not all," Haldir abruptly interjected, "Our son Halendil has also come with us, although I do believe we have lost him in the crowd currently."

"A grandson!" Teluial practically shouted with glee while jumping up and down, much to Haldir's amusement. He had also known this would bring joy to his family. "Truly?! Oh dearest Valar, we have been blessed much more greatly than I have even imagined! Galadir, Haldir has made us grandparents!" She called to her husband, who had his back turned to them currently as he spoke with Rumil and Orophin a few paces away. After finishing his statement, he turned around and his eyes lit up upon seeing his eldest son.

"Ada!" Haldir called out with excitement and immediately hugged him. Now emotions were truly getting the better of Haldir, as he had imagined this day for millennia now. His adar had been his hero and inspiration for becoming a warden. He had missed him everyday since his departure, which had happened just a few years after Rumil had come of age.

Haldir had been so young then… 480, if his memory served him correctly. He had not been ready to bid his adar farewell at that point in time, but it had happened nonetheless. His adar had never spoken of what had triggered his unexpected decision to leave Arda, other than telling him that he had seen too many evils taking hold of the world and could not bear to deal with it any longer. It had hurt him and Orophin to see their adar so worn down, though none were hit so hard as Rumil.

His brother Rumil had planned to be a warden until he had heard his adar's explanation for leaving; at that point, he had suddenly changed his mind and decided being a warden was not for him. He had completed a woodworking apprenticeship instead for nearly 30 years. He did this because he feared becoming like his adar and worried he too would have to leave Arda prematurely because of the things he would encounter while guarding the Golden Wood. He did not think he was strong enough to endure the darkness and evils that were lurking outside the city, but had changed his mind after a few decades.

Rumil started fearing for his brother's well-beings once they were changed over from city sentinels to wardens who served on the border. It had happened after the wall was built around the city in honor of Belegond, who had fallen trying to defend his family from a few orcs who had gotten past the border. City sentinels were no longer necessary once the wall was completed and all of the youngest wardens, who had typically been assigned to the job, had been promoted to serving in the forest instead. Feeling that he could look after his brothers and help ensure they stayed safe, Rumil had finally decided he too would become a warden and had joined a mere ten years before Belegwen came of age and joined.

Their adar had always been at the forefront of the brothers' thoughts though. When Galadir left, they had all missed him dearly. All three brothers had been left with a void in their hearts when their parents chose to travel west abruptly. They had always wondered why they had not seen any warning signs of Galadir desiring the sea beforehand, as most elves exhibited them well in advance of them making the decision to leave Arda. Perhaps now, they could find their answers.

Haldir's mind was literally reeling now. So much had happened since Galadir had sailed… There was so much that Haldir wanted to say and share with his adar now that they were finally back together, but he simply felt overcome with emotion and said nothing at all as he embraced his adar for the first time in over three millennia.

When they finally parted, Haldir watched as his adar looked him over in amazement, his eyes stopping abruptly on the golden wedding band he wore proudly on his pointer finger. "What is this about becoming grandparents? Who is this lovely elleth you have chosen to wed?"

"Adar, please meet my hervess, Belegwen Belegondiel." He said, holding out his hand for Belegwen to take so he could properly introduce his adar to her. She did not take his hand as he anticipated though. Perplexed, he looked back only to be horrified by an unexpected look of stunned fear on his hervess' face. It was unlike any expression he had ever seen on her face before.

"Belegondiel…" He heard his naneth mutter in a much different tone of voice. Haldir distinctly felt the change in the mood surrounding him; his brothers had noticed it too and immediately went silent as they tried to figure out what was happening. When Haldir glanced at his naneth, he noticed she had gone pale and looked worried as she stared at Galadir.

He turned back to his adar to find that he was staring very pointedly at Belegwen and looked as though he had seen a ghost. Haldir's heart started to beat faster as he began to panic. What in the name of Arda was going on here?! Desperate to know, he turned back to his wife and quickly dove into her mind's eye. She was so shaken over what was happening, he could tell she had no idea that he was even in there, which only added to his anxiety about the situation.

Thankfully, it only took him a second to find the information he needed, for at the front of Belegwen's mind was a very familiar memory. It was one Haldir had viewed with her many times before, both within her mind and inadvertently in her dreams.

_She was hiding in the closet with her dead family members lying on the ground just beyond the door. Full of fear, Belegwen had not know what to do when the closet door had been budged open and a set of bright, familiar blue eyes came into view._

Every time Haldir had seen this vision, it had stopped there. Belegwen had never told him or showed him the rest of the memory. He had never pushed for her to share it either, as he knew it would surely pain her to relive such horrible times. However, he could now see the ending of the memory, which had always been veiled to him before.

_She shook with fear as the door slowly opened more fully to reveal the warden she had wondered about for all this time…_

_It had been Galadir all along._

His adar had saved Belegwen.

And suddenly, everything else clicked into place in Haldir's mind. The timelines matched up so perfectly that he was surprised he had not made the connection before. The death of Belegwen's family had been what put Galadir over the edge…

Emotion after confusing emotion passed through Haldir's mind as he realized his hervess' tragedy was the reason his adar had sailed before his time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last cliffie! Please let me know what you think of the final revelation; I'd love to hear from you!
> 
> -P.G.


	59. Sunshine and Starlight Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AnshinDark for the comments! Thanks also for the kudos! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 59: Sunshine and Starlight Forever

_"_ _His elfling is here. She has survived the attack." The unfamiliar voice announced. Belegwen was unnerved by the sudden presence of an unknown elf and trembled terribly with fear. She barely allowed herself to peek at him through the cracks between her fingers while he spoke with whoever else was behind him in the talan._

_Though the elf had quickly put his knife down, Belegwen continued to panic internally because her hiding spot had been compromised. The world around her spun a bit and her ears started to ring as she became hyper aware of the elf in front of her. While she could see he was trying to speak with her, she could not seem to hear anything other than her own frightened thoughts and the wild pounding of her own heart._

_Was he responsible for what happened to her parents and brother?! Was she now going to be murdered too?!_

_Too afraid to look at him any longer, Belegwen cowered down behind the brooms and mops, hiding her face again. Her entire body was shaking with fright and she had no idea what would happen to her now that she had been discovered. Within the panicked confines of her mind, she prayed to Eru Iluvatar to protect her._

_Suddenly, she sensed a change in the area around her and gasped as she saw the ellon in front of her carefully removing a broom from the closet and laying it down outside of the closet. Frightened that he was trying to get to her, she grabbed the remaining two mops and held onto them as if they were safety nets. Belegwen would not allow herself to be taken out of the sheltered area of the closet. It was the only place where she could hide and she did not want to leave!_

_She watched the blue-eyed elf in front of her as she clung tightly to the mops that were blocking her in. He immediately stopped trying to move the mops and started trying to speak to her again. Belegwen could see his lips were moving and could distantly hear the lilting sound of his melodious voice, but it seemed so far away that she could not make out what he said. He sat there speaking to her for the longest time. After a long while had passed, Belegwen felt herself relax a bit since he was no longer trying to remove items from her sacred space._

_Surely if he was going to hurt her, he would have already done so… Right?_

_Belegwen started mentally arguing with herself about whether or not this stranger meant her any harm, but abruptly stopped when she saw his hand slowly encroach upon her space in the closet again. She froze and watched as he opened his palm up for her so she could see he had nothing in his hand. He moved it ever-so-slowly towards her own hand, which was still tightly grasping the mop handle._

_She whimpered for a moment and he stopped right away, looking closely at her, as if trying to decide what to do next. The hand then continued towards her, but even more slowly this time. A moment later, she jumped when she felt the warmth of his hand hesitantly touch her own clammy one. Though she thought he would grab her, he did not. After a few awkward moments, Belegwen found the elven contact strangely comforting. When she did not move away, he laid his hand down on top of hers completely and continued speaking with her._

_Something about the physical contact brought Belegwen back into reality and she suddenly realized the elf was a warden and that she could indeed hear his voice. He was not talking to her after all, but was singing a familiar song in a light, tenor voice. It was the same song her naneth sang to her when she was frightened, the one about Nimrodel. This tidbit of familiarity slightly assuaged Belegwen's anxiety as she let the remaining words resonate within her mind._

_"_ _The elven-ship in haven grey  
Beneath the mountain-lee  
Awaited her for many a day  
Beside the roaring sea._

_A wind by night in Northern lands  
Arose, and loud it cried,  
And drove the ship from elven-strands  
Across the streaming tide._

_When dawn came dim the land was lost,  
The mountains sinking grey  
Beyond the heaving waves that tossed  
Their plumes of blinding spray._

_Amroth beheld the fading shore  
Now low beyond the swell,  
And cursed the faithless ship that bore  
Him far from Nimrodel._

_Of old he was an Elven-king,  
A lord of tree and glen,  
When golden were the boughs in spring  
In fair Lothlórien._

_From helm to sea they saw him leap,  
As arrow from the string,  
And dive into water deep,  
As mew upon the wing._

_The wind was in his flowing hair,  
The foam about him shone;  
Afar they saw him strong and fair  
Go riding like a swan._

_But from the West has come no word,  
And on the Hither Shore  
No tidings Elven-folk have heard  
Of Amroth evermore."_

_When he finally stopped singing, Belegwen stared at him and waited for him to break the silence. He looked back at her very seriously and asked, "Can you hear me now?"_

_Belegwen nodded, still too scared to speak. It did not seem to matter though, as the warden before her continued to address her without expecting an audible answer. "I have three sons and when they were young, I would sing to them when they were afraid and it helped them. It is my hope that I can help you too, little one. Will you allow me to assist you?" He asked. His expression seemed satisfied when she nodded after thinking it over for a short time._

_"_ _If I am to help you, I will need to take the mops out of the closet. May I remove them now?" He asked her quietly, then quickly took them out when she nodded again._

_"_ _Have you been injured by the orcs?" The warden asked her gently. Belegwen watched as an unknown emotion flashed in his eyes before he pushed it deep within himself and continued to look stoic as ever._

_She shook her head no because she had not even seen the orcs, who she now presumed were responsible for her family's demise. Belegwen had never even seen an orc before. All she knew was that when her adar spoke about them, he called them things like 'foul beasts' and 'unfeeling evils of the night.' They truly must have been nasty things if they were capable of slaying elves as they had with her family._

_A crystalline tear slid down Belegwen's face as she realized she would never hear her adar complain about orcs and other evil creatures ever again. In fact, she would never hear his comforting voice or feel the feather-light touch of his hand holding her own..._

_He was gone. Forever._

_Sadness crashed over her like a wave as the warden locked eyes with her, bearing an unreadable expression upon his face. He carefully reached for her once again with an open hand. This time Belegwen did not fear what he would do and allowed it to happen without so much as a flinch._

_"_ _You are brave, little one. You are strong, just like the wardens I work alongside." He assured her as he carefully wiped the tears away from her face with the gentlest of touches while she sobbed out her feelings of anguish. "Hush now, little one. You are a warrior and warriors do not cry."_

_Belegwen felt her face contort into a visage of disbelief. The warden sighed and then smiled sadly at her. "You do not believe me? Let me tell you who I see in front of me now—I see the strongest elleth I have ever met." He declared confidently._

_"_ _It is you, little one." He affirmed. "You are capable of accomplishing all things because of your great inner strength, which is the same strength that I carry in my heart as a warden. It is strength that keeps us going during the darkest and hardest of times. It is strength that keeps you from fading in spite of what has happened to you today and it is strength that will give you the power to go on. Do you understand, little one?"_

_Belegwen nodded, holding onto every knowledgeable word that spilled out of the warden's mouth. She understood what he was saying and was starting to believe he was right. He was starting to seem trustworthy. Surely her adar would have wanted her to trust a fellow warden when she was in danger, right?_

_"_ _I need you to listen carefully now. I would like to get you out of this closet and bring you to a much safer place. Are you willing to let me help you get out of here?" He asked her with all the patience in the world._

_While Belegwen had been out her mind with fear for the last few hours, she knew in her heart that leaving the closet would be much better than staying. She felt as if her adar would have wanted her to trust this warden who seemed to be going out of his way to try and help her. With this in mind, she decided she would be brave like the mysterious elf said she was and nodded her head in response to his inquiry._

_"_ _Very good, little one. I will help you leave and get you to safety. Do you think you are well enough to stand up?" He asked gently._

_She shook her head no. Because of the way she was shaking now, she sincerely doubted her legs would hold her weight up in her current state. "If you will allow it, I can carry you out. Will you let me help you in this way?" He asked, looking around the closet a bit as if trying to decide what other alternatives might be available to him._

_Belegwen decided to accept his offer though and nodded her head once again, albeit a bit more hesitantly than before. He nodded back at her, his blue eyes now shining with determination as he cautiously slid himself across the floor so that he was sitting right next to her. "I am going to put one arm behind your back and the other underneath your legs." He stated, then slowly did so._

_Though the warden had told her precisely what he planned to do, Belegwen still jumped when it happened. The warden immediately stopped and observed her carefully through the golden locks that were framing the front of his face as he leaned forward to pick her up. His eyes seemed to ask wordlessly if she was truly okay with what he was about to do. When she nodded to him again, he grasped her tightly and continued to pull her towards him so that she was leaned against his chest._

_Belegwen immediately noticed the warden was very warm and smelled like the forest, just as her adar did when he came home from a fortnight at the border. Finding the similarities comforting, she felt herself relax a bit against him as he held her tightly._

_"_ _When I stand up, I am going to turn and carry you out the door and down the stairs. You are to keep your face here, against my chest, until I have started down the stairway. Can you do this?" He asked, sounding as though he expected absolute compliance from her._

_"_ _Yes sir," she murmured, her voice barely audible. He nodded at her though, so she knew he had heard her response. He counted to three and then started to move. As he stood up, she locked her arms strongly around his neck for security and buried her face in the grey tunic atop his chest. His soft hair tickled her nose as she felt him quickly walk through the talan and out the door. One of his hands rested firmly upon the back of her head, pushing her face into his chest to ensure that she did not see the horrors within the talan a second time._

_At last, she could smell fresh air once again. She was safe in the arms of the warden. Surely it was someone her adar at least knew, if not a friend of his she simply had not met before. Belegwen trusted the mysterious warden with her life and he did not let her down. He took her to safety, just as he had promised, carrying her trembling body all the way to Lord Celeborn's office, where her life had changed forever._

Belegwen gasped as she came out of her horrified trance. At once, she realized that Haldir had seen her memory and had put two and two together. She sensed a myriad of emotions catapulting dangerously through his mind as he stared at her with a confused and hurt look upon his face. Though she knew he was struggling to process this new information, just like other members of his family, the frustration and pain he was feeling concerning this situation was making her feel terribly guilty.

_"_ _I am the reason he has been separated from his adar and naneth for so long."_ She thought to herself as her heart sank. _"This is all my fault."_

She watched helplessly as Haldir turned and walked away from them without uttering a single word. "Haldir, wait!" Belegwen cried out and started to go after him, worried about the state he was currently in. However, a strong hand caught her shoulder and when she turned around, she saw that Galadir had stopped her.

"Let him go. He needs some time to sort this out, as do we." He said carefully, then glanced over at the other members of his family. They were all staring at the two of them with looks of shock and confusion on their visages.

"Could someone please tell me what just happened here?" Orophin asked stubbornly, clearly annoyed that he did not know more about the situation.

"I will tell Orophin and Rumil," Teluial volunteered cautiously, while nodding to her husband. She motioned for Galadir to move along as she grabbed her two younger sons by their hands. "Take all the time you need with Belegwen, my darling."

Galadir nodded at Teluial, then silently offered his arm to Belegwen, much in the same way that Haldir did. "Come. There is much we have to discuss." He said, then led Belegwen along the edge of the beach, walking away from the crowd to try and obtain some modicum of privacy.

As they walked, Belegwen found herself feeling quite confused and mixed up inside. She was very worried about Haldir and how he was taking this new revelation. At the same time, there was a part of her that was relieved to have finally found the warden who saved her after all this time.

She also found that it was strange to walk arm in arm with Galadir. He did not look much like Haldir other than his blue eyes, but oddly walking arm in arm with him felt exactly the same as when she walked with her hervenn. They had the same gait and he held her arm in the exact same way.

Belegwen found herself quite speechless now that she had actually found the warden who saved her. She wanted to make a good impression on Galadir as well, but was no longer certain if that was even possible. After all, Galadir had seen her at her absolute worst moment. Plus, he might blame her for being the reason he sailed so early in his life…

It made Belegwen feel sick to her stomach with worry just thinking about it.

However, it turned out that she did not have to try and figure out what to say to Galadir, as he started to converse with her first. Her eyes immediately met his as she felt his warm hand rest atop her own, which was still comfortably on his elbow. Those familiar blue eyes looked down into hers; his face was a serious one, but Belegwen could see the underlying concern that laid within their depths. "You are well then? You have stayed in Arda for all of these years?"

Belegwen nodded as they stopped a few paces away from the large patch of ancient rocks that peeked out from the sea, just beyond the shoreline. She breathed in the fresh sea aroma and listened to the sound of waves in the distance as she stared at her long lost hero in the dull light of the cloudy day.

Galadir sighed, then stared into the distance as he spoke. "I do not think a day has gone by in which I have not thought about you. You were in such terrible shape that day… I worried you would fade after I left for Valinor. I am astonished that you had the strength to stay after you lost so much." He said quietly, his face as stoic as ever. The only indication of his emotional state was the tightness with which he gripped Belegwen's hand.

"It sometimes amazes me too." Belegwen murmured in response, finally finding her voice after Galadir's rather pointed comments. "If I am honest with myself though, I believe I have you to thank for that."

Now it was Galadir's turn to look at her in astonishment. She met his eyes with confidence now that she felt a bit more comfortable with him. He merely cocked his eyebrow up as he waited for an explanation. A sad smile tentatively appeared on her face as she thought back to those difficult days in her past.

"You are the reason I am still here today, sir. When you found me, I had no reason to go on. My family was decimated and I was scared out of my mind. There was nothing left in Arda for me—I should have faded at that point in my life." She started to explain as she removed her hand from his elbow and turned away from him. She started to pace underneath his intense scrutiny of her as she continued to explain.

"You did a great favor for me on that fateful day which prevented my fading. You were patient with me and kind. You told me I was brave like the wardens you worked alongside…" She stated as she stopped and stared at the sea, crossing her arms in discomfort. "When you told me that, a dream started to form within my mind. I desired this dream so greatly that I had to survive so I could see it through."

She stopped for a moment and closed her eyes as she tried to get ahold of her wayward emotions. At last, she turned back and saw Galadir waiting patiently for her to finish, the black cape over his olive green tunic blowing gracefully in the wind behind him. "You made me want to be like you. You made me want to help others. I dreamed I too could be a warden and surprisingly, it was enough. That dream bound me to Arda, which is where I stayed."

"I have fulfilled my dream now," she continued, feeling a lone tear start to roll down her cheek. "I have protected and saved numerous elves and men; this I owe to you, along with so much more. You saved me both physically and mentally. You gave me something to hold onto when nothing was left for me. I have a wonderful career and family now and it is all thanks to you."

Galadir bowed his head in acknowledgement. Though he said nothing in return, the sentiment was still there. She had said her piece and an understanding had been reached.

An uneasy silence lingered between them for a while before Belegwen finally spoke up again as guilt overflowed from within her. "I am glad you were there for me, but I feel terrible that you left because of me." She murmured. "I am sorry for the pain my situation has inflicted upon your family."

"Our family." He quickly interjected to correct her and then continued. "You should not feel any shame or guilt over the situation Belegwen. I knew the risks of my job when I took it, as does every warden. If it was not this situation, it would have been another. Long have wardens been facing horrifying situations, as Arda has been filled to the brim with evil for a long time. Every time one is wiped out, another rises up. It is an unending pattern that has brought much grief to Lothlorien and the other elven realms."

He carefully stepped closer to her, his face filled with an even stronger intensity as he finished. "Regardless of what happened, I am glad I was there for you. If I could do it over again, I would. It was not your fault that the orcs did what they did; you were an innocent bystander, trapped in a painful circumstance beyond your control. If I managed to bring you a bit of comfort during your tragedy, then my loss was worthwhile. Would you not feel the same way if you rescued a youngling in a dire situation?"

Belegwen squeezed her eyes shut as uncontrollable feelings of grief convulsed within her. Eventually, she slowly nodded.

While it hurt to acknowledge it, she knew Galadir was right. She would have done the exact same thing if she had found an elfling hiding in a closet. Silence then rested between the two elves, although it was much more comfortable than before. Belegwen felt herself starting to slowly release her death grip upon the guilt that had been haunting her and breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps she would find healing here, just as Haldir had insisted she would.

Perhaps she should have come sooner after all.

"You love my son." Galadir calmly said out of the blue. "Is he good to you?"

A large smile unfurled upon her face at the mere thought. "Yes. He is the most wonderful ellon I have ever met. Goodness, I am astonished that I have married into your family without even realizing it! The Valar work in mysterious ways…" Belegwen said, finishing quietly.

"Indeed. I am also fascinated by this happy coincidence. Tell me how this came about." He said, his blue eyes piercing into Belegwen's once more. Thus, she launched into the story of how Haldir fell in love with her the day she visited the border, right before she came of age. She relayed how she had accidentally told him off after a few hundred years while he waited for her and how everything Haldir felt for her had fallen into limbo for a few millennia.

As she conveyed how she had fallen in love with him during her marchwarden training, she felt the gentle caress of Haldir's hands upon her shoulders within her mind's eye. She suddenly paused her story as she turned to her hervenn within her mind, her eyes filled with concern over what had happened when he saw the end of her memory earlier.

Haldir's cerulean eyes were soft though and full of understanding. _"I am sorry for walking away like that Belegwen. Learning what happened surprised me and I grew frustrated for a few moments. It was not your fault though; you were just a youngling caught in a bad situation. Please forgive me for my anger meleth."_

_"_ _There is nothing to forgive Haldir."_ Belegwen stated warmly, wrapping her arms around his comforting presence. _"I am sorry that my tragedy became yours. I am sorry your adar left you so soon."_ She murmured into his neck as they held one another tightly within the deep darkness of her mind's eye.

_"_ _I wish you never had to go through that."_ He murmured into her hair as he stroked it lovingly. _"I finally saw the whole dream and it was terrible. Ada worked so hard to get you to safety. It seemed like he knew just the right things to say."_

_"_ _Mostly,"_ Belegwen whispered in return, pulling back from him gently to look into his eyes. _"There was one thing he was wrong about though."_

_"_ _Oh?"_ Haldir asked, his brows raising up a bit in surprise. _"And what would that be, my starlight?"_

_"_ _He told me warriors do not cry and I believed him. He was wrong though; warriors do cry."_ She said with sincerity. _"You were both wrong about that. It took me a long time to figure it out, but Gilhoth helped me draw this conclusion after Helm's Deep and I now know in my heart that he was right. It is our emotions that connect us to one another and bring us together as one, not our separation."_

_"_ _Yes,"_ Haldir admitted, _"You are right, as is Gilhoth. I have learned it during our last few years in Caras Galadhon too. I shut myself off when you did not return my love for you all those years ago. I hardened my heart and look where it got me—I went millennia without the love of my life and with few friends and confidants. What a waste it was! A huge waste of time!"_

_"_ _We are quite the pair, are we not?"_ Belegwen asked, reeling a bit mentally as she thought about the horrible errors they made in Arda together.

Haldir chuckled lightly in response and tightened his grip on her as he held her closely. _"Truly, we are slow learners, you and I. We finally figured it out though."_

_"_ _Yes, we did."_ Belegwen said in return, smiling brightly up at him in return. _"I am so glad I found you at last!"_

_"_ _As am I."_ He murmured as he kissed her forehead. _"As am I."_

The sweet moment ended though as she sensed Galadir was trying to speak with her again. Blinking her way back into the present, she noticed that he had stepped close to her and was staring at her with a perplexed look on his face. "Are you well Belegwen? Can you hear me?"

"Pardon me. Yes, I am well." She quickly replied, her face flushing with embarrassment.

"She is well Ada," she heard Rumil's light voice say from behind them. "When she freezes up, it means she is speaking with Haldir in her mind through their bond. You will grow used to it as you spend more time with her. They are very close to one another and it happens quite frequently"

Instantly, she felt his arm wrap around her as Rumil hugged her tightly from the side. He leaned in and whispered almost inaudibly in her ear. "I am not angry about what happened gwathel, so do not even start to think it. In fact, it is much the opposite feeling—I am glad Adar was there to help you. Are you relieved to know who saved you now?" He asked gently, to which she nodded in response.

Rumil kissed her on the cheek and pulled her close once again before letting go. "Welcome to the family Belegwen." He whispered, then adopted a mischievous look upon his countenance as he teased her lightheartedly. "I fear you shall never be rid of us!"

"Good, I would not want to be!" She chimed in, then smiled as he went to hug his adar once again, clearly basking in the attention he so desperately had missed during their long separation.

"Here is your hervenn, my dearest gwathel." Orophin called out from behind her. Belegwen's eyes widened as she turned and saw him approaching with Haldir, both looking slightly ruffled and worse for wear. "I have pummeled some sense into him and brought him back to you. You're welcome." He said with a sassy voice and no small glint of humor gleaming within his blue eyes.

Belegwen grinned playfully and said, "Thank you Orophin. I do not know what I would do without you now!"

"Never fear, you can always count on me to knock some sense into this elf during his most foolish moments." He recanted, elbowing Haldir for good measure.

"Expect me to return the favor, gwador." Haldir replied in good humor, giving him a nice and heavy thunk on the back in return. He then took Belegwen by the hand and gently pulled her a few steps away from his brother.

"All is well then?" He asked softly. "Are you hurting because of this situation?"

Belegwen paused to think about it before answering. "I was… but I think I am going to be okay now. I was worried you and your adar would resent me for what happened, but he does not hold me responsible and you have already apologized. It seems you were right—your family has seemingly accepted me as I am." She said with sincerity.

"I knew they would." Haldir said in an almost smug voice, though she could tell by his expression that he was pleased everything had worked out so well. "Have you seen my naneth with Halendil yet?" He asked, pointing to something happening behind her.

When Belegwen turned around, she found Teluial holding Halendil happily by the arm and speaking to him in an animated fashion. Their son was slightly hunkered over by this, as Haldir's tiny naneth was a bit shorter than most elves. Belegwen watched happily as the two stopped and laughed with each other, clearly glad to be in one another's company.

"They are like two peas in a pod, are they not? Naneth is very taken with him. We have brought her great joy today." Haldir said, briefly grabbing Belegwen's hand and giving it a squeeze as he watched Belegwen's reaction.

Belegwen simply smiled in their direction, content to have brought someone in Haldir's family such pleasure. In the back of her mind, she could also sense Haldir's desire, which was to go and get reacquainted with his adar. He was worried about Belegwen though and wanted to stay by her side to make sure she would be alright after confronting his adar about the tragedy. Torn between the two options, Haldir did not know what to do.

"Go to your adar, my sunshine. Take joy in his presence, as you have waited to do for so long now. I am well and could use a few moments to myself to think everything over." She said, trying her best to reassure him. When he did not immediately leave, she gave him a light kiss on the lips, then turned him towards his adar. "I will be fine. I promise."

"If you are certain." He said, clearly still feeling wary about her well-being after having to take care of her for so many years while she faded in Caras Galadhon. She smiled at him and then watched him walk over to his adar, who pulled him aside to speak with him privately once he had finished conversing with Rumil.

Her attention immediately went back to Halendil and Teluial. Now Teluial was whispering in her son's ear and pointing away from them. Belegwen followed their line of vision to a small group of young ellyth who were giggling amongst themselves as their family members conversed quietly nearby. She watched as Halendil flushed a bit in the face, but continued to listen respectfully to his adar's naneth as she carried on and on with a look of pride upon her face.

_"_ _Oh goodness… So soon?"_ Belegwen thought to herself.

But then again, had not Haldir fallen in love with her when she was of an even younger age than Halendil?

"I suppose it is just a part of growing up…" She murmured under her breath, her mind immediately flashing back to her own youthful years. Her mind quickly spiraled back to how Galadir had come to her rescue when her family passed. In some ways, remembering it still hurt, but she noticed that it seemed to be less painful now that she was in Valinor, rather than Arda.

_"_ _The magic of this place is real and alive_." She thought to herself as she watched Halendil distractedly. _"It is soothing my hurts already. I had no idea I would feel better so quickly!"_

She hugged herself and breathed deeply, enjoying the fresh smell of the salty sea air. Healing would be found here, at long last! Soon, she too would be fully herself again! Oh, how she looked forward to that.

Smiling, Belegwen basked in her newfound respite as she watched her son interact with Teluial, who practically glowed with bliss in his presence. Her peace was short-lived though, as Belegwen unexpectedly felt the all-too-familiar feeling of danger coming from behind her.

Drawing her sword in a flash, Belegwen swung it around and heard a loud crack as Nimrodel made contact with another strong, elven sword. It was held tightly by an elf with familiar straw-colored hair and grey eyes that glistened despite the dim light.

"Heledhril!" Belegwen cried with surprise, astonished to see him recovered and well once more. She ran her sword down the side of his and the two stood staring at one another.

"Marchwarden," he acknowledged, placing his hand on his heart and giving her a bow of respect before reassuming a fighting stance. "I have come to answer your challenge."

Belegwen's eyebrows raised up in astonishment as she took in his less formal attire. She had only ever seen Heledhril wearing his warden's uniform, but today he was wearing a crimson tunic and dark grey leggings with black boots. His scabbard was the only thing Belegwen recognized on him, as it was standard warden issue in Lothlorien.

"My challenge?" She asked carefully, trying to think back to what she might have said to him before everything went hazy within her memories while she faded. Before she could think of it though, Heledhril helped her out by holding up a weathered, leather-bound book which Belegwen would have recognized anywhere.

Her adar's journal.

"You told me to study your adar's sword techniques while I was in Valinor. You said you would challenge me to a duel the moment you arrived here, but I have beat you to it!" He proclaimed with pride and no small measure of excitement present in his voice. "I have upheld my end of the bargain and have studied and practiced for long hours over the last few decades. I am ready to be tested by the best! What say you Marchwarden? Will you accept my challenge?"

Having seen the journal, Belegwen did remember issuing the challenge. She felt a bit nervous about accepting it though, as it had been many decades since she had sparred with anyone seriously. Once she had become Lord Celeborn's personal guard, she had quit sparring with elves on a regular basis and simply focused on protecting her lord and teaching other wardens new sword techniques. However, Belegwen did not want to let her former student down.

"I accept." She said confidently, though she did not currently feel assured of herself at all. If anything, she felt cautious, as she had no idea whether or not she would be able to pose much of a challenge to the disciplined elf who had been practicing diligently, just as she had requested all those years ago.

Immediately, their swords were flying in the familiar dance of battle. Belegwen parried and ducked Heledhril's first few slashes, taking up a defensive stance as he came at her with everything he had. Though she had not practiced in decades, her muscles seemed to remember just what to do. Belegwen moved with the speed she had been accustomed to using for a few millennia now.

She could instantly tell Heledhril had in fact improved his own swordsmanship over the last few decades. He was particularly well balanced and his movements were more expedient, graceful, and well thought out than she remembered them being in the past. When Belegwen glanced down to the bright green grass beneath their feet, she saw how strong his stance was and how quick and agile his footwork was, just as her adar had insisted was important within his notes in the journal.

In the back of her mind, Belegwen felt the moment Haldir realized what was happening. Her hervenn was alarmed, as he knew precisely how long it had been since she had practiced and did not want to see her get hurt. Belegwen could not blame him, as she was a bit nervous about it herself.

It certainly did not help that they seemed to be attracting a small crowd of wardens who wanted to see the results of this match, including Marchwarden Annondel himself. While she defended herself expertly from Heledhril's onslaught, she could hear wagers being made behind her. Unlike when she had fought against him on the way to Helm's Deep though, she could hear that most of the wagers were in her favor, rather than against her.

She could also feel her hervenn's worried eyes burning a hole in the back of her head as she defended herself against blow after blow. She sent a feeling of reassurance to him through their bond, hoping it would help relieve some of his anxiety.

It did not. He was still quite worried about her. Already having enough on her plate at the moment though, she did her best to put his feelings out of her mind and focused on the task at hand.

A surprising thing happened as the fight progressed though. The longer her defense against Heledhril held up, the more confident she grew with her own capabilities. Though she had not practiced in a long time, the sword motions seemed to be coming to her innately. Her long hours of practice over the years had held up to the test of time. Her training was still within her!

She was still herself—both a warden and protector! A master of the sword! A marchwarden of Lorien!

It felt good.

Bolstering herself with confident thoughts, Belegwen started to look for an opening on Heledhril's end so she could gain the upper hand. He was fast though, so she knew it was going to be difficult. Meeting his eyes, Belegwen stared at him as they clashed their swords together again and again, the cracking sound echoing against the large rocks within the seawater.

At that moment she saw it—he was intimidated by her. While his appearance was quite confident, there was something about the way his eyelid twitched every so often which spoke to Belegwen of his nervousness. She could use it to her advantage. It was time to apply pressure to him, fast and hard, so she could win the battle.

Smiling because she had spotted his weakness, Belegwen pushed back for the first time. She rolled out of the way of his blows, then jumped high in the air to avoid a low blow as she got back up. Heledhril had put a lot of weight into his last slash and needed a second to resituate himself.

A second was all Belegwen needed though. Before he was ready, she began to launch an offensive that would put any swordsman to shame. Clenching her teeth with effort, Belegwen pushed Heledhril to move even faster, moving her sword so fast that she was attacking him at nearly double the rate of speed he had previously been using. To make things more difficult, she periodically used her sword in her opposite hand to make her blows more unpredictable and harder to block.

The method for intimidating him seemed to work, as she could see the furrow between his eyebrows growing deeper as his worry became more obvious upon his face. Belegwen could tell his muscles were tensing up with exertion and his straw-colored hair was starting to come out of its numerous braids; it was flying wildly around, much in the same way she imagined her own silver hair was doing.

When the speed finally became too much for Heledhril, he cried out as he pulled his sword away, simultaneously backing up at the same time to try and get a brief reprieve. Belegwen did not let him have any such thing though. Moving swiftly, she threw her own sword in the air and ducked deftly under his sword hand. She grabbed ahold of it with both of her hands and turned, flipping him onto the ground and guiding his own sword to his throat. She held it there with one hand and raised her other up into the air just in time to catch her own sword by the hilt, which she then also set upon his throat.

Heledhril's eyes were huge and he was gasping for breath as he quickly said, "Mercy." Belegwen's hardened stare instantly softened and she took the swords away from his throat, smiling with joy as Heledhril sighed with relief and closed his eyes for a moment.

A chuckle came from Belegwen's lips as she got up and then offered him a hand off the ground. "What a rush that was Heledhril! I have not had such a challenge in a long time! You almost had me there a few times! You have made great progress these last few years! I am pleased with how much you have accomplished!" She said, complimenting him as she pulled him up. She then gave him a hearty pat on the back, much like Rumil often did with the wardens around him.

"I thought you would be disappointed…" He said between gasps as he tried to catch his breath. "I thought you wanted me to beat you."

"How could I be disappointed? You have mastered my adar's skillset. Your balance and agility are much improved, as is your speed. I was simply faster today, but there will be other days." Belegwen said, then looked off to the side as another elf caught her eye.

Marchwarden Annondel was staring at her with an impressed look on his face, which Belegwen had not been anticipating. He said nothing, but simply bowed his head to her, beating his fist to his chest a couple of times before meeting her eyes once again in a show of respect.

_Dearest Valar, it was respect!_

Knowing this was the closest to an apology Belegwen would ever get from the elder elf, she nodded to him in return, also setting her fist upon her chest to return the gesture. Warmth filled her being as she knew the hardest elf to impress had already been won over.

Turning back to Heledhril, Belegwen smiled at him before quickly before motioning for Halendil to join them. "Heledhril, let me introduce you to my son, Halendil. Halendil, this is my first sword student, Heledhril. He is the reason we are both alive today and not in the Halls of Mandos. He saved my life and yours at the Battle of Helm's Deep. It was a sacrifice that came with a great personal cost to him."

"Mae Govannen Heledhril." Halendil replied, placing his fist upon his chest and bowing low before his fellow warden to show respect for his deed. "I am grateful for all you did for both naneth and I during the battle. Thank you, meldir."

"As am I," a voice said from behind them. Belegwen looked to see that Haldir had come up behind them and also chose to bow low before Heledhril. "I will always be indebted to you, Heledhril. When I was unable to protect my family, you took care of it for me. I offer you the sincerest of thanks."

"You are welcome sir." He replied, bowing in return to show respect to his marchwarden as he always had in the past. "I am pleased I could help and am glad this fine young ellon was born safe and sound." Heledril said, indicating Halendil with a nod of his head.

"May I challenge you next, Heledhril sir?" Halendil asked as he saw the straw-haired ellon's attention return to him. "I would like to have the opportunity to fight you with the sword too! I can see there is much I could learn from you."

Heledhril just chuckled and replied, "Perhaps another day, young lad. I think having the wind knocked out of me once today is plenty enough. I would love to some other day though."

"Then some other day we shall," he said in agreement, then turned to Belegwen and said, "Naneth, I could not believe how fast you were moving! You were phenomenal out there!"

"Yes, you were." Haldir said, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her towards him so he could kiss her on the cheek. "You are healing meleth. It is so good to have you back!" He exclaimed and kissed her once again, no longer caring who might happen to witness it. Belegwen felt his love for her shining brightly through their bond and savored the feel of it as her hervenn celebrated her wellness by holding her close.

ooOoo

Haldir watched as Belegwen locked their trunk back up, having added her adar's journal into their belongings after Heledhril insisted that she take it back. She then hopped down from the wagon it had been situated in and walked back towards the small crowd of his family. Galadir and Teluial had insisted they come and stay in one of their guest rooms until they were able to have their own talan built in the Lorien Quarter of Valinor.

From what Haldir understood from the description, many elves were living on the ground in the forest of mellyrn, as they had in the previous ages while Amdir and Amroth had ruled the forest. However, some of the new elves who had sailed in the last few millennia had expressed their love of living in the trees and Amdir had been very accommodating of that desire.

As it stood now, Amdir was in charge of the Lorien Quarter. Galadir had assured him that he was a fair and ambivalent king, who was easy to live under and had been very accepting of the newer Lothlorien elves who had only known what the city was like under the rule of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. It sounded like his son, Amroth, had never been reborn. It was said that he may never be unless he was reunited with his love Nimrodel, who had been lost long ago and was never recovered.

This knowledge made Haldir a bit nervous, as he had never served under an elven king before. However, he had heard tales of King Thranduil from the Greenwood realm and many of his elves had spoken very highly of him. He hoped the same was true of Amdir, as he knew he very much wanted to live in a talan once again and the Lorien Quarter was the only place in Valinor where the mellryn grew.

Those who had come to greet him had all spoken highly of him, including Eregdol, who Haldir knew was not always easy to please when it came to leadership. Bragolith had also had nothing but good things to say about Amdir, so Haldir figured it would probably be alright. Still, as the cart carrying all of their belongings set off in front of them, he could not help but feel a swell of nervousness about the new chapter he was about to embark upon in his life.

What would be in store for himself, Belgwen, and Halendil in this foreign land? Would they find joy and happiness here? Would they find new things to do now that their days of serving as wardens were now over?

His feet had been mindlessly following the cart for several minutes now, as he stopped daydreaming and looked ahead. In front of him was his family, his adar and naneth, both of which were speaking with his silver-haired son directly behind the cart as they followed it down the path. They were followed by his brothers, who were already hard at work arguing about something insignificant. He had expected no less from them, as this is how they had always been while they were together in Arda.

He looked to his side, expecting to see Belegwen, but was astonished to find she was not there. When he did not see her anywhere in front of him, he quickly spun around to see that she had fallen behind and was stopped in the middle of the empty road behind them, staring up one of the first hills they had passed by on their trek to the city.

A few unfamiliar figures were standing at the top of the hill, staring back down at her. Quickly grabbing Rumil by the arm to get his attention, he said, "Tell the cart driver to stop for a moment." He then ran back to her, wondering if it could possibly be who he thought it was.

It was, for there at the top of the hill stood a lithe-looking, silver-haired ellon whose stunning features were mirrored keenly upon his hervess. Dressed in a simple light blue tunic with grey breaches, he was stunning to look upon as his silver warrior braids blew up and down in the breeze, framing his face.

When he looked at his wife, he could see that she was utterly speechless. A look of shock adorned her lovely face as she stared up at the three figures well above her, all of which looked equally stunned. When he reached her, Haldir stood beside her and waited for what would happen next, wanting to be there to support her in whatever way might be necessary.

Then the ellon atop the hill slowly descended to the bottom, leaving the bright green grass undisturbed beneath his feet. When he was just a few paces away, he stopped and examined Belegwen closely before finally speaking in a torn voice that was filled with desperate emotion. "Belegwen? Is it truly you?"

Belegwen nodded and then was immediately grabbed up into a tight hug as both father and daughter started to cry. "I cannot believe it… I cannot believe it is you…" He heard Belegond murmur over and over again as he heard Belegwen sob into his shoulder uncontrollably.

Haldir watched as the other two members of Belegwen's family finally reached her and Belegond. The elleth, presumably her naneth, wore a simple pink dress and the ellon, who Haldir recognized as her brother Nenrim, had on scholarly robes that were black with a dark blue layer underneath. The entire family had silver hair just like Belegwen's and Haldir watched them closely as they came together.

"Naneth!" He heard Belegwen cry as she finally caught sight of the elleth. She reached out with one arm and drew her into the hug as well. Her naneth's tears were completely silent, but the haunted look upon her face cut Haldir down to the core as he watched her hold Belegwen tightly.

When at last they finally drew away from one another, Belegwen only had a moment to wipe away her tears before Nenrim grabbed her into a quick hug as well. "I see the spiders did not get you…" Haldir heard him murmur into her ear, causing her to huff and playfully swat him away from her as he laughed loudly at his own joke.

"There are no spiders in Lothlorien, you dolt." Belegwen said, giving him a look of ire that was clearly fake and forced before smiling at them all herself. "You are all here. I had hoped you would be, but I was beginning to think you were all still with Mandos." She said softly as her sad eyes rotated from one family member to another, slowly examining each of them in disbelief.

"I must admit it took us a while to find you." Belegond said with a small laugh, "For I fear we were all looking for a 29 year-old elleth who was still this tall." He said as he held his hand up to his shoulder, as if to gage her previous height. "I fear I did not picture how you would look when you had grown up. How beautiful you have become, my darling Belegwen! And you do indeed have my spirit within you!" He exclaimed with pride, his voice filled with emotion. "You are a warden of Lorien, just like me!"

"Not only a warden, but a marchwarden sir." Haldir interjected quietly, at last alerting them to his presence. Belegwen turned around immediately and grabbed him by the arm, drawing him into their conversation at last.

"Oh, I am sorry—I did not realize you were behind me. Ada, this is Haldir Galadirion, my hervenn. Haldir, this is my adar Belegond, my naneth Nenwen, and my brother Nenrim." She said, using her hand to denote each member of her family with care.

"Mae Govannen." Haldir said with pride, gently bowing before Belegond and saluting him with his fist upon his chest. "I am overjoyed to meet you at last. Nenrim, I do believe we have met before though. I remember you being one of my history instructors while I was in the upper levels." He related calmly, hoping Nenrim did not remember what a handful he had surely been back in those days.

Yes, he and Bragolith sure had made a lot of trouble in their younger years…

"Indeed, I do remember. It is good to see you again and even better to see a Marchwarden of Lorien wed to my sister." He replied with a happy nod.

"A marchwarden of Lorien…" Belegond marveled, first staring at Haldir and then at Belegwen, both of which were wearing the mark of the marchwarden upon their hips. "I can hardly believe this! My own daughter a marchwarden and married to Galadir's son!? We have recently become good friends with your adar, upon finding out the role he played…" He said, trailing off as if he did not wish to speak of the tragedy aloud.

He eventually found the right words though and continued, "I have heard great things about you Galadir-ion. Welcome to our family! We are pleased to find Belegwen married to such a distinguished elf and so well cared for in your hands."

Haldir nodded in acknowledgement, then to his surprise found himself hugged by Belegond himself. When he let go of him, he smiled at his hervess' family and invited them into their group. "Come, let us introduce you to our son, Halendil."

"A grandson too?! Such blessings have been bestowed upon us today!" Belegond exclaimed loudly, then looked to the sky and proclaimed, "Praise Eru Iluvatar!"

Then, without wasting another moment, the group headed over to the cart. Upon spotting Haldir's adar, Belegond shouted, "Galadir, have you heard the wonderful news? Your son and my daughter have wed! 'Tis a blessed day for us!"

"We are now family meldir!" Galadir said in return, embracing Belegond with such familiarity that Belegwen and Haldir exchanged a surprised glance with one another before approaching to introduce Halendil to Belegwen's family. They were somehow able to pry the ellon away from Teluial's greedy grasp for a few moments and then watched happily as Belegond immediately struck up a conversation with him about his sword while Nenwen carefully fixed one of his messy braids in a way that only a naneth would.

After a few minutes, Belegond cried out of the entire group, "Come, let us celebrate this occasion at my talan with wine! Come, yes, the whole family! Come! Brothers too! Let us make merry together, for my daughter is finally home with us and has a new family of her own!"

"He is bursting with joy…" Belegwen whispered, holding Haldir back by the arm for a moment while the rest of the group continued to walk down the pathway together, now more boisterous and livelier than ever. Belegond's delight seemed to enliven everyone in the group. "He is friends with your adar! Can you believe it?"

"No, I cannot. I had no idea! And now he is apparently getting out wine to have a celebration for us. We have gone from a family of four to a family of many, many more!" Haldir murmured back excitedly, his hand coming to rest upon his hervess' shoulder in a comfortable way he had grown accustomed to over the last 74 years.

"Indeed. Welcome home my sunshine…" Belegwen whispered in return, drawing close. He could feel her breath upon his chin as he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her softly upon the lips. Even in the unfamiliar land of Valinor, their bond remained strong and true, tingling beneath the soft caress of his lips gently sliding over hers. His heart fluttered with ecstasy as he pulled away and looked into her sparkling blue eyes. A large grouping of clouds finally began to move away from the sun; the deep orange and golden hues of the sunset lit up his hervess' face as she smiled up at him.

And in that moment, he remembered all of the special times they had shared together, from the first time he had laid eyes on her on the border, to how he had nervously held her against him as he helped her shoot his bow, to the dance lesson that had gone horribly wrong… How she had climbed the tree without a ladder in that tight navy blue dress at her coming of age party… and how she had looked bathed in the moonlight within its upper branches…

How she had unknowingly turned him down during one of her weakest moments…

…only to slowly fall in love with him again as a marchwarden over 3,000 years later.

He remembered praying for her to live after the fire, before he could even bring himself to remember how much he had loved her in the beginning. He remembered how attractive he had found her once he saw her with her braids undone, that gorgeous silver hair tantalizing him in the same way it had when they had first stood together on the talan with Bragolith…

He remembered when he had unknowingly made her his own after they had battled one another fiercely in the woods… How he had cared for her when she was attacked. How deeply he had felt her commitment towards him when she had shared her feelings for him in the forest, on their way to Helm's Deep…

How sweet the moment had been when she had first relayed to him that he was going to become an adar, as he had always hoped he would be… The moment he finally admitted he loved her before dying…

…and then waking up in her arms months later and meeting his sweet little son.

Through the good times and the bad, the love between them had endured, as he knew it would eternally. He had loved her for nearly his entire life and would forever, as she was his hervess, his life…

_His everything._

He smiled down at her as his own wave of joy washed over him. He tenderly caressed her cheek as he looked deeply into her gorgeous blue eyes, sending his most heartfelt feelings of love into her mind through their bond. "Welcome home, my starlight. Let us begin our eternity together."

He kissed her forehead and then, seeing that the others had gotten ahead of them, the two ran towards them, laughing and racing one another as they had on their wedding night in Caras Galadhon. Hand in hand, they ran into the deep orange and gold sunset to live out their lives together…

Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue will be posted tomorrow! Thanks to everyone who has been following Haldir and Belegwen's journey!


	60. Epilogue/Glossary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it to the end at last! Thanks for all of the comments and kudos! I'm so glad so many people enjoyed reading my story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Epilogue

_Five Years Later…_

Orophin stood watch before the mirror of Galadriel with the same diligence he used as a warden of Lothlorien a century ago. The scenery around the lady's garden mirror was much different than it was in Caras Galadhon. The terrain was not hilly or rocky as it had been Arda, but instead was quite flat. A small pond rested to his left with its waters clear and still; it was laden with bright green lily pads, complete with pastel pink flowers opening up their delicate petals to absorb the bright spring sunlight.

The dark shaded areas of the leafy mellyrn were not present here. True, there was tree cover, but it was much different than what Orophin had grown accustomed to in Lothlorien. Here the trees were called 'weeping willows,' with their long strings of vibrant green leaves dangling down towards the ground much like the long trains some ellyth enjoyed wearing. It was under one of these foreign trees that Lady Galadriel had a new pedestal built for her mirror.

Today was Orophin's turn to guard it.

Orophin was one of the few remaining elves from Lothlorien who continued to serve the lord and lady in Valinor. It felt a bit peculiar at times, as they had chosen to live in the Noldorin Quarter of Valinor, as Amdir was presently ruling the Lorien Quarter. However, Orophin still felt great loyalty towards the Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel and had opted to live with them, living far away from his family in order to continue serving his leaders loyally.

He was currently working as a personal assistant to Lord Celeborn and spent his days helping him keep their large home in order. He spent his days doing things that ranged from arranging sleeping quarters for guests to helping organize the lord's vast library as he continued to unpack artifacts he had brought from Arda.

Every member of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel's house took turns guarding the mirror though, as it was rumored that terrible events would occur if someone sought its power with ill intentions. Having experience with the mirror's twin in Mandos' Halls, Orophin fully understood how such power could taint the heart of an elf if left unchecked. Thus, he was happy to fulfill this duty for his lord and lady, no matter how boring the task just so happened to be.

While Orophin had been perfectly happy to discover there were generally no threats in Valinor, he desperately could have used a belligerent elf or a mischievous elfling as a distraction from the mind-numbing task he was currently undertaking. After all, spending the entire day guarding the mirror meant being left alone with his own thoughts and that was currently a dangerous prospect for him. Too much had happened in Orophin's life recently, happy tidings that should have left him feeling jubilant along with his family. Instead, he found himself falling into a slump and feeling sorry for himself because he did not have anything exciting happening in his own life the way his brothers did.

Earlier this year, he had found out Haldir and his sister Belegwen were expecting another elfling; an elleth, much the shock and surprise of his entire family, as there had not been an elleth born amongst them in several generations. There was much elation and anticipation from their loved ones over the arrival of the new elfling.

While Orophin knew he should feel happy and share in his family's bliss, there was a part of him that was a bit jealous. He had done his best to set those detestable feelings aside though, choosing to focus on Haldir's happiness instead, which was boundless. Indeed, Haldir had not been present for the birth of Halendil and was growing more and more eager to witness the elleth's birth with every passing day.

The jealously had become harder for Orophin to ignore when he had eavesdropped upon a conversation between Belegwen and Rumil a couple of nights ago. After Haldir had insisted Belegwen sit down and rest for a bit while he finished setting the table for their family supper, Orophin had overheard Rumil telling Belegwen about how it would be harder to be an uncle to this new elleth who was about to arrive. Rumil proceeded to explain how he had accustomed to being the only family member that Halendil had besides his parents while he was growing up. However, the elleth was going to have several uncles and Rumil was worried he would not get to spend as much time with the elleth as he had enjoyed with young Halendil.

"Rumil, why not get married to that pretty elleth you have been courting for the last three years and have your own little elfling? Then the two can get together and have playdates all the time with their favorite uncles!" Belegwen had teased lightly as she patted her protruding belly unconsciously.

Orophin had expected some spirited comeback from his brother about never settling down or how much he enjoyed the company of many ellyth. However, Rumil had shocked him with his reply.

_"_ _Perhaps I might."_

Belegwen had caught onto the unusualness of his answer rapidly and had soon poked and prodded him for more information until he finally withdrew a pouch from his pocket. When he emptied it out, they saw there were two silver rings within it, glistening beautifully in the rays of sun that passed through the talan's skylight. Belegwen was shocked and nearly speechless at the sight, immediately drawing Rumil into a big hug and shouting across the room to Haldir about the good news.

This had naturally made Orophin feel worse, as Rumil was about to get everything he had hoped for within his own life. His little brother had been lucky, as many ellyth were interested in dating a retired marchwarden of Lorien. Something about the uniform and status seemed to help him obtain the attentions of ellyth more effectively than ever before.

On top of that, Rumil had finally decided to show some maturity and actually worked to try and make his last couple of relationships less superficial. He had not made rounds with ellyth in the Lorien Quarter the way he had back in Caras Galadhon. Instead, he found one elleth who pleased him and had committed himself to her, following the example Haldir had set with Belegwen. Low and behold, his younger brother would soon be engaged, leaving him as the only brother who had not found a mate yet.

Though he knew it was unbecoming of him, Orophin had grown quite jealous while they celebrated Rumil that night. He said nothing about the matter to either of his brothers, but he was certain his lack of enthusiasm over Rumil's news had spoken loudly enough.

To make matters worse, he had made an offhanded joke about how Belegwen was waddling around these days, which inadvertently upset his sister, much to Orophin's dismay. He only meant to have a quick laugh with her, but he had forgotten how emotional ellyth could get as they came to the end of their gestational period. He instantly regretted the words the moment they came out of his mouth.

Tears had glistened in Belegwen's eyes as she crossed her arms in discomfort and walked to the edge of the balcony to get some air. Haldir had glared daggers at him before quickly trailing behind her to try and remedy the situation.

Rumil had smacked him on the back of the head and berated him for being so insensitive once Haldir and Belegwen had left the room. Orophin allowed it to happen, as he knew he deserved such treatment for speaking that way to their sister.

Orophin was thankful, however, that it was Rumil who had overheard him and not Nenrim. Neither he nor Rumil had known Belegwen's brother while he lived in Arda, but they had quickly found out during the last five years that he did not tolerate other elves teasing his sister. While Nenrim could say whatever he wanted to Belegwen, he would give a verbal lashing to anyone who dared to tease her around him, even if it was light-heartedly. Both Orophin and Rumil had been on the receiving end of these tangents multiple times and often went out of their way to avoid him because of it.

Eventually Rumil had let him off the hook, leaving Orophin alone so he could sneak out to the balcony to try and apologize to Belegwen. Haldir was still with her though, so he had said nothing and watched as they interacted with one another in silence. Because Belegwen and Haldir could easily communicate within their minds, they often spoke to each other thusly, rather than their voices. Though they were completely silent, Orophin could tell an exchange was happening by the changing expressions on their faces as they looked at one another.

From a distance, he admired the look in his brother's eyes as he stared down at Belegwen. There was always such love in his deep blue eyes as he gazed upon her. Haldir truly worshiped the ground Belegwen walked upon and probably always would, due to the circumstances that surrounded the beginning of their relationship. There had been several millennia where Orophin had thought Haldir would never get to experience such affection for another elf, so it was a treat to see his brother so happily in love.

Orophin was very pleased with how their relationship had turned out, for he knew how wrecked and wretched Belegwen had left Haldir after she had shouted at him that she would marry no one all those years ago in Caras Galadhon. He had been the one to notice that his brother was not acting normally and finally managed to finagle the problem out of him after watching him mope and then start to fade over a few weeks' time.

Though he had died and been brought back to life by Mandos, he still remembered the start of that conversation as if it had happened yesterday…

_"_ _You will tell me what is wrong with you now." Orophin said in a strained voice as he struggled to hold his older brother down. They were in his room in the Warden's Halls, where Orophin had found him pacing for the third night in a row._

_The bright light of the moon shined down on them both while Orophin sat on top of Haldir, holding his arms pinned behind his back while his brother squirmed beneath him. Many warnings had been spat at him in anger and Orophin knew that these were not idle threats when it came to Haldir, but he held him down nonetheless. He could not let allow Haldir to continue down this dark path he was on._

_He was fading and Orophin was not going to let his brother end up in the Halls of Mandos without a fight. No, he was going to find out exactly what had gotten into Haldir over these last few weeks and they would try to find a solution to it together…_

_That is, once his brother cried for mercy._

_At that precise moment, one of Haldir's arms slipped out of his hold and proceeded to elbow him in the face. Crying out in surprise more than pain, Orophin struggled against his brother's strong body to regain control of him. He expected it to be a challenge, but found that his brother seemed to be running out of steam quite quickly on this night. Orophin was able to get him back under his control in record time._

_This alarmed him, as he knew it meant there was truly something wrong. Haldir was not the sort of elf to just give up during a tussle, especially not with his brother, with whom he was normally rather competitive. Orophin was only 75 years younger than Haldir, which made them closer to twins than older and younger brothers, at least by elven standards. They competed in many ways with one another on a regular basis and enjoyed the closeness that their rivalry often instilled within them._

_"_ _Tell me what is wrong! Tell me why you are fading!" Orophin insisted, pressing Haldir down even harder into the balcony floor with the hopes of breaking down his defenses. Haldir rarely gave up personal information without a fight and Orophin was not going to just allow his brother to waste away needlessly._

_"_ _Is it ada and naneth? Are you missing them?" He pressed as he felt Haldir still beneath his body. Orophin would not have been surprised if it was, as all three brothers had struggled greatly with their loss. Orophin had spent a lot of time comforting Rumil over the last couple centuries, as it had hit him the hardest. It took him decades after they left to decide to become a warden like his adar, which had always been his aspiration before they left._

_Perhaps Haldir was struggling with this more than he had previously let on…_

_"_ _No," his brother grunted from beneath him. "Get off me Orophin! I am tired and I wish to try and rest!"_

_"_ _Not until you tell me what is wrong brother! You have been spending long hours at the training grounds and you have been shutting yourself away from everyone! Bragolith said he has not seen you in weeks and is terribly worried! Now you will tell me what is wrong or I will not let you up until well after the sun rises!" He exclaimed, pushing his weight heavily onto Haldir's back to drive his point home._

_Haldir tried to struggle again, but it was no use. Orophin had him in a tight hold and wasn't going anywhere. He felt his brother huff in frustration beneath him before finally hearing the muffled words he had been waiting for._

_"_ _It is an elleth."_

_Orophin's eyebrows rose up in astonishment as he quickly hopped off his brother's back. "An elleth is the cause of this? Pray tell, who is she and what has she done to you?"_

_"_ _You would not understand," was the only answer Haldir provided straight away. He rolled onto his back and then sat up as he rubbed his shoulders, staring at Orophin grumpily._

_"_ _Regardless, you will still tell me or you will find yourself back on the floor!" Orophin threatened, rubbing his hands together in anticipation of continuing their late-night bout._

_Haldir glared at him for the longest time before he finally stared at the ground intently. When he did not look up for a long time, Orophin grew worried._

_"_ _I am in love." Haldir murmured almost incoherently. An awkward silence lingered between the two brothers for a minute before Orophin responded._

_"_ _You are… in love?" Orophin questioned, staring eerily at his forlorn-looking brother as he quickly tried to deduce the problem at hand. "How is that a bad thing?"_

_"_ _She does not return my feelings." He muttered, still refusing to meet Orophin's eyes. "She does not wish to marry. Ever. She said so herself."_

_"_ _Truly? Who is this elleth?" He asked again, placing his hand on his brother's bare shoulder as he awaited an answer. Orophin grew nervous as he waited for the answer, not knowing who had done this to his brother._

_It took him forever, but Haldir finally managed to whisper the name aloud._

_"_ _Belegwen."_

Orophin shook his head at the very thought of his brother's pain that night. There had been such desolation and longing within his eyes as he explained to Orophin about how long he had desired her; how he had waited for her to come around, only to be inadvertently denied after her darkest moment as a warden. All of this had dropped down on top of Orophin like a load of bricks and he had not known what to do or say to make everything better. He had known one thing though…

He could not allow his brother to fade.

After losing his parents, he knew that Haldir fading would have killed him too, as well as Rumil. None of the brothers could have afforded to lose one another in those days. The wound from their parents leaving was still tender and unhealed; the pain was too great.

He had not understood what Haldir was going through, as Orophin had never been in love at that point in time. Never had he felt for an elleth what Haldir had felt for Belegwen. Orophin knew he needed to give Haldir some sort of advice concerning the matter and so he had…

It had been terrible advice though. What was even worse was that Haldir had actually followed it. Orophin told him he would have to leave Belegwen alone. If she did not want him, he would need to move on without her. He had encouraged Haldir to become the unfeeling ellon he was for all of those years; it was all his fault. He had prayed to Eru Iluvatar that his brother would push his feelings down deep within him and forget about Belegwen so he could move on with his life.

Surprisingly enough, it had worked. When Haldir put all of his heart and soul into his training, he had not spoken of Belegwen again and his signs of fading had eventually vanished.

He was never the same after that though; he never smiled anymore, nor did he seem to harbor any joy within his heart. All who were close to him knew he had changed, though few dared to inquire about it. Those who did often received quite the earful, as Haldir had little tolerance for anyone caring for him in those days. He pushed so many elves away from him as he basked in the pain of his rejection.

His heart had been hardened. Orophin never thought he would smile or feel love for anything or anyone again-

"My lady!" Orophin gasped as the lady of light suddenly appeared, pushing a few strands of willow leaves out of her way with one delicate hand so she could walk under the tree and approach the mirror. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts about Haldir that he almost forgot to bow out of respect before her. He quickly fumbled his way into a bow, training his face into a serious expression as best he could with the little time he was given.

"Orophin," she greeted him with a strange twinkle in her eye. Even without her ring of power, there was still something very otherworldly about the Lady Galadriel. She seemed to still have pull over elves after all this time, himself included.

In spite of this, he could not imagine serving anyone else.

The blue eyes of the two elves met in silence as the Lady walked up the cobblestone pathway that led to the mirror. Orophin bowed again out of embarrassment as he slowly backed his way down the two stairs leading to the ground, holding out the silver pitcher to her with reverence. Normally he did not get so flustered, but the lady had caught him thinking of his own weaknesses and he had not been anticipating her at that precise moment.

Idly, he watched as she floated away from him with the pitcher held gracefully between her two porcelain hands. She walked up to the pond and dipped the pitcher within the clear waters, filling it to the brim before silently walking back over the cobblestones. Orophin blinked when he saw her eyes flicker in his direction while she poured the glistening water into the stone basin atop the pedestal. Was he about to be invited to look into her mirror?

_"_ _Your assumption is correct."_ The wind seemed to whisper as Orophin continued to stare at the lady, perplexed by what seemed to be happening. Unlike the other times he had seen the lady come here to look in the mirror, today she had brought no one with her.

She had not needed to apparently, for the elf who needed to look in the mirror today was conveniently present. _"Noble Orophin, a while ago you looked into its twin, but today my mirror calls out to you. Will you look into it as well?"_ The voice whispered lowly in his ears. The lady's lips did not move, but he felt her presence deeply within the confines of the willow tree.

Shocked that he would be offered such an honor twice, Orophin felt himself nodding to the lady. Before his mind had even fully agreed to the task, he noticed his feet were walking slowly back up the steps to the pedestal. Immediately, the waters started to roll into small waves as he looked into their shallow depths. A familiar picture soon came into view. Orophin remembered the scene well.

_He watched as Belegwen slowly approached where he stood in the forest clearing, right next to where the trees parted and bright sunlight streamed down into the flowers and ferns littering the ground. She had looked timid and a bit unsure of herself, but she had no idea who awaited her from within the white tendrils of light. Orophin smiled gladly as he watched his former self take hold of Haldir's hand in his own. He had then placed Belegwen's hand within Haldir's hand, effectively giving them the second chance at togetherness that had been decreed necessary by Vaire and Mandos._

_The look of happiness on Belegwen's face was undeniable as her sparkling eyes met his brother's cerulean ones. Such love and hope could be felt between the two and Orophin had gotten to play a part in helping them obtain it. What a blessing that had been!_

_Ripples appeared in the water and the scene changed to a vision of a smiling Belegwen holding a small bundle up to Orophin from where she was resting on a small bed. Haldir was sitting by her side and both were watching as he took hold of the tiny blue-eyed elfling who was swaddled in a small pink blanket. While he could not hear his brother's words, his lip-reading skills had always been impeccable and he knew precisely whom his brother was introducing._

_"_ _I present to you Beleganna Haldiriel."_

_Orophin gasped at the beauty of the elfling in his arms as the water rippled again, morphing onto a very familiar place—Rumil and Halendil's woodworking shop. In the top of one of the trees, the large shop had lovely windows that allowed tons of light to stream in from the sky above as the two Ellyn worked to build and carve intricate details into cabinets, bookcases, doors, and other assorted furniture items. Both ellyn were present in the vision and seemed to be taking a break from their work. They appeared to be singing some sort of lively song and clapping with glee as Haldir bent over to dance with a tiny elleth who was no taller than his knee._

_When he twirled the wee little elfling around, Orophin caught sight of her vibrant face, which bore the telltale features of Haldir's own face, though they looked much softer on the little elleth. Belegwen's silvery hair swirled around her head as she twirled around most gracefully, moving more like a full-grown elleth than an elfling. The whole family looked ecstatic, as if this was a normal occurrence…_

_Once again, the waters rippled, now moving even faster than before. Beleganna was taller than before in this one, though still quite small in stature. He watched as she held both Linros' and Halendil's hands simultaneously as they walked down a familiar pathway in the Lorien Quarter. Her older brother and his proclaimed brother lifted her up and swung her back and forth as they walked, laughing as they slung her about for fun. Again, Beleganna's face was gleeful and blithe, full of trust for her brother and his closest friend as they entertained her._

_The waters changed the scene again and Orophin saw an almost fully-grown Beleganna dancing with both of her grandfathers outside of the grounds where Belegond and Belegwen taught their swordplay lessons. In the distance, he could see Belegwen teaching a class of a few young ellyth swordplay lessons._

_As he watched Belegwen and her daughter together, he could see the similarities between them. Beleganna had inherited her naneth's physical giftings, but chose to use them in different ways. Rather than using her balance, speed, and grace to fight, she used it to dance._

_And dance she did. Orophin had seen that both Belegond and Galadir could dance very well, but Beleganna made their movements look slavenly. Their granddaughter moved with absolute precision and a certain refinement that spoke of hour upon hour of practice. Even moreover, she made dancing the way she did look as natural as breathing and she was not even fully grown yet! Her grandfathers seemed to be having a ball though, laughing as they took turns swinging her around while they waited for her naneth to finish her sword lesson._

_Rippling faster, the waters revealed something more. A dance studio, complete with light wooden floors and mirrors covering all four walls. Light shined brightly through several built-in skylights as several couples readied themselves to practice. His eyes immediately latched onto Haldir and Belegwen's familiar forms, both facing one another with open admiration in their eyes. They seemed to be communicating with one another mentally again, at least until a familiar face showed up beside them._

_It was Beleganna and she was now fully grown. Orophin smiled, as he could see the perfect mix of his brother and sister in their progeny. She looked the same way Belegwen had when she had first come of age—a tiny elleth with a willowy body and gorgeous silver hair. Her eyes, nose, and mouth mimicked Haldir's though and it was quite obvious to all whose daughter she was. He watched in amazement as he realized Beleganna was the teacher of the class; she quickly adjusted Haldir and Belegwen's stance a bit with a smile before moving along to the next couple._

_Orophin's eyes went wide as he saw that he was one half of the second couple. The elleth he was with was absolutely gorgeous, with dark hair such as the elves of Imladris often had, along with lovely green eyes that seemed to speak to him of the beauty within her very soul. Orophin immediately recognized the look that he and the elleth he was dancing with shared—it was love! The same look of love that Haldir and Belegwen shared was apparently a thing he too would eventually have and cherish!_

_Stunned by what he was seeing, Orophin watched as the scene continued with his jaw hanging open. Beleganna adjusted them too, drawing them quite close to one another and laughing as they spoke briefly before she moved on._

_Once the room was ready, Beleganna cued a trio of instrumentalists in the corner and the dance began. She took hold of Linros, who was waiting for her off to the side and the two danced along with the class, moving with such smooth perfection that Orophin could scarcely take his eyes off of them. It was because of this that he noticed their hands…_

_They were both wearing matching golden rings upon their pointer fingers._

_Linros was going to marry Haldir's daughter Beleganna! Haldir must have agreed to it too, for they were all in the same room and no one seemed bothered by it! Orophin blinked in shock, but then realized how reasonable the situation was. Everyone knew that Linros spent most of his time at Haldir and Belegwen's talan and was already practically another member of their family. They knew him well and often regarded him as if he was another son to them, as he meant a lot to their family and had earned their respect during their last years in Lothlorien._

_Because of this, perhaps Linros was meant to be with Beleganna. If he loved her, it was the best-case scenario to have it be a trusted family friend wed her, one who had already earned her parents' respect over the years. Indeed, the two looked blissfully happy with one another as they danced with such astounding perfection that it brought a small tear to Orophin's eye._

And then the pictures were suddenly gone. The water in the mirror stilled itself and became clear once more, showing him only his reflection within its shallow depths. Orophin gasped as he looked up to find the lady staring at him quite intensely.

"I know what you have been thinking about yourself this week, Orophin Galadirion." She stated lowly. "I also know what it was you saw today. Tell me—why do you think the mirror has shown you these moments?"

Orophin blinked, uncertain of what to say and unwilling to put his foot in his mouth around the lady. "I know not." He answered carefully, "Most of the scenes were not about me, but about Haldir's daughter who is soon to be born. I am uncertain as to how this should be significant to me."

Galadriel simply stared at him for a moment in silence before her face softened at long last. "You truly do not understand, do you?"

Shaking his head, Orophin replied, "You are right. I do not."

Galadriel walked languidly towards him, her white dress dragging over the cobblestones until she stopped right in front of him. Her hand reached out and gently rested upon his shoulder as he stared into her blue eyes nervously.

"What you have seen today was only possible because of one elf—you. Without your interference at Mandos' request, none of these moments of happiness would come to pass." She said and then smiled at him tenderly as her hand slipped down from his shoulder and hung loosely at her side. "You are the reason your family has the joy they share today. If you had not succeeded, such a future would be impossible."

A pang of anguish shot through Orophin's heart as he mentally deduced what would have happened if Haldir had not successfully returned to Belegwen after Helm's Deep.

He frowned at the thought of the darkness that would have overcome his family.

Belegwen surely would have faded, as she was tied too closely to Haldir to go on without him. Her fading would have left young Halendil in Rumil's hands. While Rumil seemed to truly enjoy being an uncle, Orophin was not sure he would have felt as joyous if the full responsibility of being an adar had been involuntarily hoisted upon his shoulders.

And poor Halendil… He would have never known the love of his true adar and naneth as he grew up in Lorien. Would he have turned out to be the same happy-go-lucky elf he was today?

Certainly not. His life would have been much darker and full of despair if he had no parents to love him as an elfling deserved. Though Orophin was sure Rumil would have tried his absolute best, it would not have been the same.

As for Beleganna, well… she would not even exist.

Orophin frowned at the thought, as it had looked as if Haldir's new daughter would bring great delight to their entire family. Indeed, Beleganna seemed to bring along with her great light and life. All that their family had been lacking during their darker days of living in Arda had somehow been encapsulated in one tiny little elleth.

She alone had the power to heal what was yet broken within their family and bring joy to them all once more. This was amazing and Galadriel was giving him the credit for setting these events into motion.

Still, Orophin felt he did not deserve such credit. "I was not the one who came up with the plan. It is Vaire and Mandos who deserve the credit, not myself. I simply followed Mandos' directions. He is to receive the credit for returning Haldir to Belegwen, not me." He argued, despair filling his heart as he refused to accept the lady's words.

"Yet you were the one closest to Haldir and the only one in the Halls who he would actually listen to regarding the matter. You were obedient too, stopping at nothing to ensure he was convinced he needed to return." She replied in an attempt to convince him otherwise. "There is no need to lose hope Orophin, for now that you have seen to your family's happiness, you will receive your own eternity of joy through the future you were instrumental in creating."

Orophin cocked up an eyebrow, perplexed by what Galadriel was tell him. "She was beautiful, was she not? A fine match for you, I am certain. Your eyes spoke of your love for her, as will your heart when the time is right." Orophin flushed a bit as he realized she was talking about the dark-haired elleth he had been dancing with in the mirror. Galadriel disregarded it though as she continued, "You will find her because you helped your brother's family. Without having done your part to unite Haldir and Belegwen, none of the events we witnessed this afternoon would ever come to pass." She reminded him gently.

While he knew Galadriel was trying to ease the pain he harbored in his heart recently, he could not easily let it go. After all, he did not fit in with Haldir, Rumil, and Belegwen in the way he hoped he would. They had all grown terribly close to one another during those last few decades they spent in Arda. Orophin did not feel close to any of them now and often felt as though he was a third wheel when he heard their special stories, as he was not part of any of their recent ones.

"That too will change." Galadriel's voice whispered on the wind around him, giving him gooseflesh as it chilled him in more than one way. "For tonight you will once again prove your worth to your family and earn your place amongst them. Go now to Belegwen and hurry. When you arrive, you will know what to do."

"What?" He questioned immediately, his eyes widening with shock. "I do not understand."

"Go. If you waste time, you will be too late. Help her and you will finally see just how important you are within your family." She replied with slight impatience, though Orophin could not blame her, as he did not trust her judgment currently in the way he normally would.

"But… who will look after the mirror?" He asked reluctantly, confused about what was happening.

"Already one of my lady's in waiting approaches to take over for you. Trust Orophin; trust in my words and let your destiny finally take hold as it should." She murmured. The air around him tingled with power and finally Orophin found his footing. He stepped backwards down the stairs, struggling to take his eyes off the intensity radiating off the lady. Finally, after stumbling a bit, he turned and ran as quickly as he could to the Lorien Quarter in the light of the newly setting sun.

Orophin was uncertain of what awaited him, but he the lady had never been wrong before and he was as obedient as ever…

He would see this task through, no matter what.

ooOoo

Belegwen's eyes suddenly opened as she felt the elfling moving about within her. The elleth was kicking her insides with such great vigor that Belegwen thought she might just plow right through her skin to make her grand debut into Valinor. She frowned, as this was the third time the little one had woken her up from her nap this evening. The elleth was more active than ever tonight, causing her significantly more discomfort than usual.

"Please come out of me soon." Belegwen muttered to herself in exasperation as she eyed Nimrodel, which was hung decoratively on the wall right beside Haldir's own sword. It had been months since Belegwen had been allowed to engage in any swordplay and she dearly missed it. There were only three more weeks of her pregnancy to go and then she could get back to it. At least, that was what Eltirwen had told her last week at her checkup.

Three more weeks until she could meet her daughter and then her sword could rest comfortably in her hands once more. Belegwen was excited about both of these events, but even more so, she was excited to get the elfling out of her so that she could feel comfortable in her own body again.

Never would she have guessed that being pregnant all the way through the entire year would be so incredibly uncomfortable and awkward. When she had Halendil, she had only made it three-quarters of the way through her term and had not reached the stage of discomfort before she birthed him. This second pregnancy was something else though. There were few things that Belegwen could do now that did not tire her out and she had been unable to bend over and pick anything up from the ground in weeks.

To Belegwen, who enjoyed being active all the time, it was nearly unbearable. Haldir, Rumil, Galadir, and her own adar were constantly nagging her to do less. While she understood that they cared about her and only wanted the best for her, such treatment was still rather upsetting from her standpoint. Belegwen wanted to do as she pleased and was tired of being bossed around and treated like a china doll. Indeed, she was very much ready to meet her daughter and have the ability to go about doing what she wanted once again.

She also wanted to have the ability to see her feet once more.

Belegwen stared down at her stomach and rubbed it gently as a frown marred her otherwise perfect face. She was becoming more and more uncomfortable by the moment and needed to find something to distract herself from the feelings coming from within.

After a moment, she spotted an easy task—one of Haldir's council robes, which he now wore on a regular basis. No longer having a job as a Marchwarden, Haldir had thrown himself wholeheartedly into his council position, which Amdir operated much in the same way as the lord and lady had in Lothlorien. Similarly, Belegwen was now accustomed to Haldir coming home and complaining about whatever topic he had quarreled with Eregdol about each day, which also brought back memories from their time in Arda.

The forest green robe that was haphazardly thrown in the basket had a small snag at the bottom and needed a quick mending job. It had been sitting in the sewing basket by the door for nearly a week now, as neither of them had found any time to deal with the small task.

Hoisting herself up from the chair was no easy feat currently. Belegwen struggled to wiggle her way to the chair's edge and then steadied it as best she could before awkwardly getting to her feet and standing up.

Immediately, she regretted it. An odd feeling instantly filled her lower half and suddenly she felt liquid dripping down her legs and splashing onto the floor. "Oh Valar…" She whispered in fear as she grabbed at the wall nearest to her for support while she tried to figure out what to do. Clearly, the elfling had decided to make an early arrival, but Haldir was not home yet. He had went running with Halendil earlier in the evening while Nenrim had been regaling her with a story from the second age. He had long since went home though, leaving when Belegwen had started dozing on and off in her chair.

Currently, there was no one in the talan to help.

_"_ _Haldir!"_ She called to him within her mind, instantly garnering his attention. Through his eyes, she could see that he was at the archery field all the way in the Greenwood Quarter. He and Halendil sometimes ran there to practice archery with Prince Legolas, who had become a good friend of the family during their first few years in Valinor.

_"_ _Meleth?"_ He asked in return as he expertly aimed his bow at a distant target. _"Do you need something?"_

Just as he went to release his shot, Belegwen said, _"The elfling is coming now! Please hurry home!"_

The shot went wide, completely missing the target as Belegwen felt shock wash over Haldir. _"Now? Rhiach! Sweet Valar, do not panic. I am coming home right away! I will be there soon!"_

Belegwen watched as he ran off into the trees, Halendil hot on his heels and asking him what was happening. With a blink of her eyes, she found herself back in their talan, standing in the liquids that had come out of her body. Quickly she wandered into their bedroom, changing into a dry dress before hobbling back into the common area. The elfling was already settling into a low position within her, just as Halendil had when he was about to be born.

Oh dear, she hoped Haldir would get home soon!

Just as Belegwen started to inch her way towards the window seat to wait for her hervenn, the front door caught her attention as it swung open violently and slammed against the opposite wall. A disheveled Orophin stood in its wake, breathing heavily as if he had run a great distance involuntarily.

"Belegwen, are you well?" He asked in between deep breaths, as he clearly had not run so much in a very long time. If he had ran all the way from where he lived in the Noldorin Quarter, that was quite a distance indeed. "Lady Galadriel has sent me to help you!"

"Lady Galadriel?" She questioned, momentarily surprised before she decided to just go along with what fate had dealt her. "I do need help. I am starting to have the elfling and I need assistance getting to Eltirwen's talan. Haldir is coming, but he is quite far away and I am uncertain if I can wait until he gets here to take me."

Orophin's eyes became huge as he quickly assessed the situation. Belegwen knew she probably looked horrible as she hunched over, holding her stomach while battling against her own state of panic. He pulled himself together rather quickly though and said, "I will take you. Can you walk as you are?"

Belegwen nodded in response, but when Orophin saw how she was hobbling to the door, he came closer to her and gave her a questioning look with his eyes. "Oh, very well then." She muttered, giving in to his wish. She gasped as he clumsily picked up her up into her arms.

"Is this okay?" He asked nervously as his pale, freckled face stared down at her with concern. When she nodded, he carefully maneuvered them both through the doorway and set off down the stairs of the mallorn tree. Upon reaching the ground, he sped down the pathway in the direction of the healing telain, thanking Elbereth that he did not have far to go.

There were some elves on the pathway who observed them, giving them odd looks and whispering amongst themselves. Belegwen paid them no heed. She was simply thankful that her brother had come to help her in her time of need.

"Have you told Haldir where we will be?" He asked anxiously as they passed yet another group of whispering elves in the darkening light of the setting sun.

"Yes." She murmured, then squeezed her eyes shut for a moment as the sensation of pressure seemed to grow within her abdomen. "Oh no… I fear it is almost time." She said in a tiny voice.

When she finally managed to look up, she saw Orophin's blue eyes staring down at her with alarm. "She is coming now?"

"Yes, she is coming now. Hurry!" She exclaimed, then squeezed her eyes shut again. The elfling was coming fast, just as Halendil did. She was beginning to worry that the elfling would make her appearance right there in the street. Though her eyes were closed, she felt Orophin walking even faster now, trying his best to get her to Eltirwen's talan on time.

"Belegwen! Are you unwell?" Came another familiar voice through the murky clouds that were lingering in Belegwen's mind. When she opened her eyes again, she saw Linros walking quickly beside Orophin, his eyes equally concerned for her well-being.

This did not surprise Belegwen, as Linros had been part of their family for nearly 80 years. He had more than kept his promise to be Halendil's gwador, spending nearly every day of his life by the young ellon's side. For this reason, Belegwen and Haldir often regarded him as if he was their own son.

"She is having the elleth now. Run ahead and let Eltirwen know we will be there in a couple of minutes." Orophin urged him. Linros obeyed, instantly running towards the large mallorn that housed the healing telain, running up the stairs in front of them.

Belegwen grew more and more nervous though as they approached the stairwell leading up to Eltirwen's talan. "What if Haldir does not make it on time?" She moaned, drawing Orophin's attention back to herself as he started up the stairs.

"He will." He said in a reassuring voice. "He would not miss this. Can you not feel him coming?"

She nodded after a moment, for she could. Within her mind's eye, she could see how he was tearing down the pathway back to the Lorien Quarter at a breakneck speed. Belegwen was uncertain if she had ever seen him run so fast in her entire life. "He will be here." She whispered to herself, closing her eyes once more in an effort to stay calm.

"Next talan—Eltirwen is not in, so you will need to bring her to Linedhel!" Linros' voice chimed. Belegwen moaned as she felt Orophin switch directions. Why was Eltirwen never available when she needed her most?!

"Linros!" She called out to her son's best friend, "Will you fetch Haldir and I's parents? Rumil and Nenrim too?"

"Yes, I will go and get them. Best wishes—I cannot wait to meet the new elleth!" Linros called back as he feet softly thumped down the stairway behind her. Belegwen could barely hear him though, as the sensations in her lower body now seemed to be the only thing she could think about. She was struggling to think clearly now as the pressure grew in intensity.

It was almost time now.

Somehow through the fog in her mind and the uncomfortable sensations racking her body, she noticed Orophin had laid her down on a soft bed. Voices were speaking around her, though she was struggling to make out what they were saying.

Suddenly a damp cloth was on her forehead and when she looked up, she saw Orophin's concerned eyes gazing down upon her. "You are doing great Belegwen. Try to hold on for a couple more minutes; I am sure Haldir will be here any minute now." He said. She felt the gentle squeeze of his hand in her own and felt momentarily reassured through her distracted haze.

"You are good at this, just like Rumil." Belegwen murmured, trying to smile up at him. She vaguely noticed that he looked surprised by the comment for a moment, but then smiled down at her as if her compliment had touched his heart in some way. "I am glad that you are here with me Orophin. I would not want to go through this by myself."

"I am happy to help gwathel." She heard him reply, as she closed her eyes again. She could feel her lower muscles starting to engage, working of their own volition to start pushing the little one into the world. She bit her lip in frustration, as Haldir still had not arrived yet. However, there was so much pressure below that she was uncertain she could hold the elleth in much longer.

Moaning in frustration, she heard Linedhel direct her to start pushing. Just as she was about to, the door to the room they were in slammed open roughly and then Haldir was next to her, holding her face in his hands to inspect her and then kissing her on the forehead. "Meleth, I am here. How are you doing?"

"Better now that you are here." She breathed, suddenly feeling very relieved. Traditionally, an elfling's adar was always present at their birth to catch the little one and cut the cord. Belegwen knew Haldir had longed for this role, as he had missed the opportunity with Halendil. Knowing he was there to receive the little one and hold her safely in his arms took a lot of fear out of Belegwen's mind.

"You can do this meleth. Start to push, just as Linedhel has said and soon we shall meet our little elleth together." He said, stroking her cheek before bending down to kiss her once more. Then, as he went to take his place by her legs, Belegwen took a breath to calm herself and focused on doing just that.

However, someone was missing…

"Orophin," she gasped as she glanced over and saw him heading towards the door. "Please stay and hold my hand. I do not wish to be alone right now."

"Truly?" He asked after turning around to stare at her. "Are you certain you would not rather have Rumil? I could go get him, if you would like."

"Don't be silly—you are doing a fine job of helping me and I want you here to help finish the job." She said, then scrunched up her face as she went to push. When she opened her eyes, she saw Haldir give Orophin a nod of approval before he bent down to listen to what Linedhel and his interns were saying.

She felt his hand return to her own and she smiled up at him tiredly. "Thank you for getting me here. I could not have done this without you."

"Anytime gwathel…" He said softly, squeezing her hand as she went about pushing again. "Anytime."

ooOoo

_"_ _I present to you Beleganna Haldiriel."_

It had happened just as he had seen it in the mirror, with Belegwen holding the swaddled elfling out to him and Haldir introducing her, though Orophin had already known her name beforehand. The elleth was just as beautiful as she had appeared in the mirror too, with large cerulean eyes just like his brother's and a small sprinkling of silver hairs atop her head, which would soon become just like his sister's.

What Orophin had not seen in the mirror was the look of amazement and absolute admiration that had come over Haldir's face when he had received the elfling into his arms as Belegwen pushed her out. Though Orophin had not seen the birth, the image of his brother's face upon seeing the elfling for the first time would be emblazoned in his mind forever. There was love there, a deep love such as he could not yet understand, for the elleth he had just received. Haldir had barely been able to let the crying elleth out of his arms so the interns could clean her up because he had been so entranced by the little one.

Orophin had then watched as Haldir took the little elleth in his arms once more, now clean and swaddled in a light pink blanket, and walked her over to Belegwen. The way he looked at the elfling… Well, it seemed as if Haldir thought she was more precious than any gold, silver, or gem. Orophin had now heard numerous stories about how Belegond had reacted upon having Belegwen as his daughter, showing her off all around Caras Galadhon to anyone who might listen and admire her.

It was already clear to him that Haldir was about to do exactly that with his new daughter.

Haldir handed the elfling over to Belegwen with reverence, kissing her on the forehead as he watched her reaction to the little one intently. Orophin had stepped out of the way, wanting to allow them a few moments to themselves to marvel at the elleth on their own. Admire they did, whispering quietly back and forth to one another and caressing the elleth's chubby pink cheeks and astoundingly small hands.

"They are beautiful together, are they not?" An unfamiliar voice had said from his side. When Orophin finally tore his eyes away from his brother and sister, he nearly gasped in shock, as the dark-haired elleth he had danced with in the mirror was standing right next to him. She appeared to be one of Linedhel's interns, wiping her hands off on a small white towel next to him as she surveyed the scene he had previously been watching.

"That was the first elfling I had ever birthed. How beautiful it is, the miracle of life." She continued, smiling up at him as her vibrant green eyes met his cool blue ones.

"Yes, it is," he had agreed, slightly amazed that he was meeting her so soon after having seen her in the mirror.

"You are now a proud uncle, yes?" She asked, smiling even more brightly when he nodded with delight. "Congratulations—what a blessing it must be to have your family grow. She will prove to be a wonderful niece indeed."

Once she had set about cleaning up the room once again, Orophin watched her with interest, noticing the delicate motions of her hands and the graceful stride of her legs beneath the tan healing robes she was wearing. He did not wish to rush things, as he felt that might ruin his chances with her, but he could not help but stare at her as she went about her work in the room. This went on for several minutes; Orophin hoped she did not notice how obsessed he had grown with her already.

However, even his curious thoughts about the green-eyed healer had flown from his head when he held Beleganna for the first time. Because he had taken Belegwen into the healer's talan, he had been given the privilege of being the first member of the family to hold the tiny elleth.

Perhaps he was a valued member of their family after all.

Indeed, he mused as he watched Haldir lead the rest of the family in, Orophin had simply needed a reminder after that terrible dinner that he too, was valued and loved. It was easy to assume he was not, as he had missed out on so much after he passed away in Arda. He had not gotten a chance to know Belegwen the way Rumil did, nor see the budding romance grow between her and his brother Haldir. Still, the way Belegwen had adamantly asked him to stay with her during the birth showed him that he had somehow wheedled his way into her heart…

…and that was all he needed.

Once he had cradled the elleth for a while, he handed her gently over to Halendil, who was ecstatic to finally meet his tiny sister. Then he watched as elf after elf held the little one carefully: Teluial, who had practically fainted at the idea of having another elfling in the family, and then Galadir, who had simply gazed upon the elleth with pride glowing in his eyes. Rumil had been next and he had complimented Belegwen over and over again on how beautiful this elleth was and how happy he was to become an uncle once again.

The elleth was then passed to Belegwen's side of the family, being held first by Nenrim, who promised to tell the elleth every story he knew. Belegwen's naneth Nenwen held her next, speaking softly to the elleth and singing to her when she briefly woke. She then made her way into Belegond's arms, where he carefully held her up in one arm while lightly touching her forehead with his free hand. He stood there with his eyes closed for a few minutes, before opening them and allowing a smile of great joy to brighten his face.

"My darling Belegwen, she is just like you!" He exclaimed quietly, clearly overjoyed with this new discovery. "Her spirit—her fëa, it feels just like yours! What a mighty gift she is indeed—you have named her well!"

The room burst into light-hearted conversation upon hearing that. All the elves were speculating who the elleth would be most like, Haldir or Belegwen. Orophin just listened though, secretly smiling when Linros held the elleth for the first time. The young elf was totally unaware of the fact that he was holding his future wife.

Already, Beleganna had brought great joy to their family, which made everything Orophin had endured worthwhile. He was excited to find out how much more happiness was in store for them over the years. He already knew Haldir and Belegwen were at peace, having finally found one another and committed themselves to each other as they should have a few millennia ago. Rumil also had found someone and would soon be engaged and on his way to a life of marital bliss.

As for Orophin, he knew he had quite the road ahead of him before he committed to any elleth. However, when the dark-haired healer winked at him from across the room, his heart skipped a beat and his body filled with an unnatural warmth. Suddenly, he just knew this was going to be fun and without overthinking it, went over to speak with her once more, effectively stepping into the destiny he had created for himself the moment he agreed to help Mandos and Vaire.

And he too found joy; the greatest joy indeed.

**The End.**

_*The name Beleganna translates out to "mighty gift" in Elvish_

ooOoo

**Glossary of Story Terms**

Adar-Father (also ada for short)

Caras Galadhon-Main city in the Lothlorien Realm

Daro-Stop

Edain-Used to reference men, otherwise known as the second born

Eldar-Used to reference elves, otherwise known as the first born

Elfling-Baby Elf (or an elf who is not at his/her majority yet)

Elleth-She-Elf

Ellon-He-Elf

Ellyn-Plural of Ellon; He-elves

Ellyth-Plural of Elleth; She-Elves

Eru Iluvatar-Creator of the Valar/Elves/Men. A god over all of Arda.

Fëa-An elf's spirit or soul

Galadhrim-References any residents of Lothlorien. This is often used in reference to all the Lothlorien wardens in this story.

Gwador-Brother in this fanfic (I recently found out muindor is more meant to be be familial brother and gwador is more of a 'brother in all but blood.' Therefore, Bragolith and Haldir should call each other gwador, but Haldir, Orophin, and Rumil would more appropriately be calling one another 'muindor.' Sorry-I'll get it right next time folks!)

Gwathel-Sister in this fanfic (this truly should have been muinthel for a brother-sister relationship; gwathel is a 'sister in all but blood.')

Halls of Mandos-A place where elven spirits go upon dying unnaturally. They receive healing here and are often reborn after a long waiting period.

Hervenn-Husband

Hervess-Wife

Ion-Son

Ion-nin-Son of mine

Iel-daughter

Lembas-Elvish bread; one bite can supposedly keep an elf full for an entire day.

Mae Govannen-Welcome/Greetings

Mallorn-an extraordinarily large tree that grows both in Lothlorien and Valinor. In this story, the leaves turn gold in the daytime and silver at night. When I started this fanfic, this was how many fanfics were written, though I understand it is not a correct assessment of Tolkien's vision now.

Marchwarden-Commander ranking in the Lothlorien army

Meldir-masculine version of friend (Rumil calls Belegwen this so that he's not treating her any differently than any of the other wardens, even though it is the masculine version of the word)

Meleth-love (as in calling a dear one 'my love' or meleth-nin)

Mellon-friend (can be masculine or feminine)

Mellyrn-plural of mallorn

Naneth-mother (also nana for short)

Rhiach-Elvish curse/profanity

Rohirric-Language of men spoken in Rohan

Talan-large tree platform that can be a home or a landing for watches on the border

Telain-plural of talan

Valar-Creations of Eru Iluvatar who helped design Arda. Valar generally refers to the male entities, such as Mandos or Manwe.

Valier-Creations of Eru Iluvatar who helped design Arda. Valier generally refers to the female entities, such as Elbereth or Vaire.

Warden-A guardian soldier of Lothlorien

Westron-the Common tongue amongst men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all of the story's fans—Thank you! Whether you are newly reading this story now or have been reading the story since I started it in 2002 on ff.net, I want to thank you for your continued readership and support. Knowing that so many people love this fanfic brings me great joy. All of your reviews have made me feel quite special, along with helping me to improve my craft. I cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate my readers and how happy I am that you came along on this special journey with me. Thank you very, very much for all of your support!
> 
> What's next P.G.?
> 
> I have just started posting a new fanfic called "Guardians of Arda" both on AO3 and ff.net. It is another Haldir/OC story with lots of action and romance. If you are interested, I'd love for you to join me for this new story as well! The summary for it is here:
> 
> Duckie is a dark-haired beauty living in Wyoming during the 1860’s. After her father’s mysterious death, she finds herself living in an abandoned farm cabin and enduring the many difficulties associated with life in the west, all while having a foreboding feeling that something evil is lurking nearby. Her life is turned upside-down when she meets the Guardians of Arda, a group of elves who long ago chose to stay in the world of mortal men and help them survive Morgoth’s predicted uprising before the battle of Dagor Dagorath, the end of all things. An apocalyptic adventure, Guardians of Arda is an alternate universe story filled with action, magic, mystery, suspense, and a deep love between two elves that has the power to transcend beyond the end of time.
> 
> Thanks again for your support of my writing! Stay safe until we meet again!
> 
> -P.G.


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